Works of Joseph Hall, Meditation 9 – Meditation 31
9
All temporall things are troubleſome. For if wee hauehave good things, it is a trouble to forgoe them; and when wee ſee they muſt bee parted from, either wee wiſh they had not beene ſo good, or that wee neuer had enioyed them. Yea, it is more trouble to loſe them, than it was before ioy to poſſeſſe them. If contrarily, wee hauehave euill things, their very preſence is troubleſome; and ſtill we wiſh that they were good, or that we were disburdened of them. So good things are troubleſome in euent, euill things in their vſe. They in the future, theſe in preſent: they, becauſe they ſhall come to an end; theſe, becauſe they doe continue. Tell mee, thy wife, or thy childe lies dying, and now makes vp a louing and dutifull life, with a kinde and louing parture; whether hadſt thou rather for thy owne part, ſhee had beene ſo good, or worſe? would it hauehave coſt thee ſo many heartie ſighs and teares, if ſhee had beene peruerſe and diſobedient? yet if in her life time I put thee to this choice, thou thinkeſt it no choice at all, in ſuch inequalitie. It is more torment (ſaieſt thou) to liue one vnquiet monethmonth, than it is pleaſure to liue an age in louelove. Or if thy life bee yet dearer: Thou haſt liued to gray haires, not haſtened with care, but bred with late ſucceſſion of yeeres. Thy table was euer couered with varietie of diſhes. Thy backe ſoftly and richly clad: Thou neuer gaueſt deniall to either skinne or ſtomacke: Thou euer fauouredſt thy ſelfe; and health, thee. Now death is at thy threſhold, and vnpartially knocks at thy doore, doſt thou not wiſh thou hadſt liued with cruſts, and beene clothed with rags? Wouldſt not thou hauehave giuen a better welcome to death, if hee had found thee, lying vponupon a pallet of ſtraw, and ſupping of water-gruell; after many painefull nights, and many ſides changed in vaine? Yet this beggerly eſtate thou deteſteſt in health, and pittieſt in others, as truly miſerable. The ſumme is; A begger wiſheth hee might bee a Monarch while he liues; and the great Potentate wiſheth he had liued a begger when he comes to die: and, if beggerie bee to hauehave nothing, hee ſhall bee ſo in death, though he wiſhed it not. Nothing therefore but eternitie can make a man truly happy; as nothing can make perfect miſerie but eternitie: for as temporall good things afflict vsus in their ending, ſo temporall ſorrowes afford vsus ioy in the hope of their end. What folly is this in vsus to ſeeke for our trouble, to neglect our happineſſe? I can bee but well; and this that I was well, ſhall one day bee grieuous. Nothing ſhall pleaſe mee, but that once I ſhall be happie for euer.
10
The eldeſt of our fore-fathers liued not ſo much as a day to God, to whom a thouſand yeeres is as no more; we liue but as an houre to the day of our fore-fathers: for if nine hundred and ſixtie were but their day, our foureſcore is but as the twelfth part of it: and yet of this our houre we liue ſcarce a minute to God. For, take away all that time that is conſumed in ſleeping, dreſſing, feeding, talking, ſporting; of that little time there can remaine not much more than nothing: yet the moſt ſeeke paſtimes to haſten it. Thoſe which ſeeke to mend the pace of Time, ſpurre a running horſe. I had more need to redeeme it with double care and labour, than to ſeeke how to ſell it for nothing.
11
Each day is a new life, and an abridgement of the whole. I will ſo liue, as if I counted eueryevery day my firſt, and my laſt: as if I began to liue but then, and ſhould liue no more afterwards.
12
It was not in vaine, that the ancient founders of languages vſed the ſame word in many tongues, to ſignifie both Honour and Charge; meaning therein to teach vsus the inſeparable connexion of theſe two. For there ſcarce euer was any charge without ſome opinion of honour: neither euer was there honour without a charge; which two as they are not without reaſon ioined together in name by humane inſtitution, ſo they are moſt wiſely coupled together by God in the diſpoſition of theſe worldly eſtates. Charge without Honour, to make it amends, would be too toileſome, and muſt needs diſcourage and ouer-lay a man. Honour without charge would bee too pleaſant, and therefore both would be too much ſought after, and muſt needs carrie away the minde in the enioying it. Now many dare not bee ambitious, becauſe of the burden; chuſing rather to liue obſcurely and ſecurely: And yet on the other ſide thoſe that are vnderunder it, are refreſhed in the Charge with the ſweetneſſe of Honour. Seeing they cannot bee ſeparated, it is not the worſt eſtate to want both. They whom thou enuieſt for Honour, perhaps enuie thee more for thy quietneſſe.
13
Hee that taketh his owne cares vponupon himſelfe, loades himſelfe in vaine with an vneaſie burden. The feare of what may come, expectation of what will come, deſire of what will not come, and inabilitie of redreſſing all theſe, muſt needs breed him continuall torment. I will caſt my cares vponupon God, hee hath bidden mee: they cannot hurt him; hee can redreſſe them.
14
Our infancie is full of folly; youth, of diſorder and toyle; age, of infirmitie. Each time hath his burden, and that which may iuſtly worke our wearineſſe: yet infancie longeth after youth; and youth, after more age: and he that is very old, as he is a childe for ſimplicitie, ſo he would be for yeeres. I account old age the beſt of three; partly, for that it hath paſſed thorow the folly and diſorder of the others; partly, for that the inconueniences of this are but bodily, with a bettered eſtate of the minde; and partly, for that it is neereſt to diſſolution. There is nothing more miſerable, than an old man that would bee young againe. It was an anſwer worthy the commendations, of Petrarch, and that which argued a minde truly philoſophicall of him, who when his friend bemoned his age appearing in his white temples, telling him he was ſorry to ſee him looke ſo old, replied: Nay, be ſorrie rather that euer I was young, to be a foole.
15
There is not the leaſt action or euent (what-euer the vaine Epicures hauehave imagined) which is not ouer-ruled, and diſpoſed by a prouidence: which is ſo farre from detracting ought from the maieſtie of God for that the things are ſmall, as that there can bee no greater honour to him, than to extend his prouidence and decree to them becauſe they are infinite. Neither doth this hold in naturall things onelyonly, which are chained one to another by a regular order of ſucceſſion, but euen in thoſe things which fall out by caſualtie and imprudence: whence that worthy Father, when as his ſpeech digreſſed his intention to a confutation of the errors of the Manichees, could preſently gheſſe, that in that vnpurpoſed turning of it, God intended the conuerſion of ſome vnknowne Auditor; as the euent proued his coniecture true ere many daies. When ought falls out contrary to that I purpoſed, it ſhall content me, that God purpoſed it as it is falne out: ſo the thing hath attained his owne end, whiles it miſſed mine. I know what I would, but God knoweth what I ſhould will. It is enough that his will is done, though mine be croſſed.
16
It is the moſt thankleſſe office in the world, to be a mans Pandar vntounto ſinne. In other wrongs, one man is a Wolfe to another: but in this, a Deuill. And, though at the firſt this damnable ſeruice carry away reward, yet in concluſion, it is required with hatred and curſes. For, as the ſicke man extremely diſtaſted with a loathſome potion, hateth the very cruze wherein it was brought him; ſo doth the conſcience, once ſoundly deteſting ſinne, loath the meanes that induced him to commit it. Contrarily, who withſtands a man in his proſecution of a ſin, while he doteth vponupon it, beares away frownes, and heart-burnings for a time: but when the offending partie comes to himſelfe, and right reaſon, he recompenſeth his former diſlike with ſo much more louelove, and ſo many more thankes. The franticke man returned to his wits, thinkes him his beſt friend that bound him, and beat him moſt. I will doe my beſt to croſſe any man in his ſinnes: if I hauehave not thanks of him, yet of my conſcience I ſhall.
17
God muſt be magnified in his very iudgements. He lookes for praiſe, not onelyonly for heauen, but for hell alſo. His iuſtice is himſelfe, as well as his mercy. As heauen then is for the praiſe of his mercy; ſo hell for the glory of his iuſtice. We muſt therefore be ſo affected to iudgements as the author of them is, who delighteth not in bloud, as it makes his creature miſerable, but as it makes his iuſtice glorious. EueryEvery true Chriſtian then muſt learne to ſing that compound dittie of the Pſalmiſt: Of mercy and iudgement. It ſhall not onelyonly ioy me to ſee God gracious and bountifull in his mercies, and deliuerances of his owne; but alſo to ſee him terrible in vengeance to his enemies. It is no crueltie to reioyce in iuſtice. The fooliſh mercy of men is cruelty to God.
18
Rareneſſe cauſeth wonder, and more than that, incredulitie, in thoſe things which in themſelues are not more admirable, than the ordinary proceedings of Nature. If a blazing ſtarre be ſeene in the sky, eueryevery man goes forth to gaze; and ſpends, eueryevery euening, ſome time in wondring at the beames of it. That any fowle ſhould be bred of corrupted wood reſolued into wormes: or that the Chameleon ſhould euer change his colours, and liue by aire: that the Oſtrich ſhould digeſt Iron: that the Phoenix ſhould burne her ſelfe to aſhes, and from thence breed a ſucceſſor; we wonder, and can ſcarce credit. Other things more vſuall, no leſſe miraculous, we know and neglect. That there ſhould be a bird, that knoweth, and noteth the houres of day and night, as certainly as any Aſtronomer by the courſe of Heauen, if we knew not, who would beleeue? Or that the Load-ſtone ſhould by his ſecret vertue ſo draw iron to it ſelfe, as that a whole chaine of needles ſhould all hang by inſenſible points at each other, onelyonly by the influence that it ſends downe from the firſt, if it were not ordinary, would ſeeme incredible. Who would beleeue when he ſees a fowle mounted as high as his ſight can deſerv it, that there were an engine to be framed, which could fetch it downe into his fiſt? Yea, to omit infinite examples, that a little deſpiſed creature ſhould weaue nets out of her owne entrailes, and in her platformes of building ſhould obſerue as iuſt proportions as the beſt Geometrician, we ſhould ſuſpect for an vntruth, if we ſaw it not daily practiſed in our owne windowes. If the Sun ſhould ariſe but once to the earth, I doubt, eueryevery man would be a Perſian, and fall downe and worſhip it: whereas now it riſeth and declineth without any regard. Extraordinarie euents each man can wonder at. The frequence of Gods beſt workes cauſeth neglect: not that they are euer the worſe for commonneſſe; but becauſe we are ſoone cloyed with the ſame conceit, and hauehave contempt bred in vsus through familiaritie. I will learne to note Gods power and wiſdome, and to giuegive him praiſe of both, in his ordinarie workes: ſo thoſe things which are but triuiall to the moſt ignorant, ſhall be wonders to me; and that not for nine daies, but for euer.
19
Thoſe that affect to tell nouelties and wonders, fall into many abſurdities, both in buſie enquirie after matters impertinent, and in a light credulitie, to what euer they heare; and in fictions of their owne, and additions of circumſtances to make their reports the more admired. I hauehave noted theſe men, not ſo much wondered at for their ſtrange ſtories, while they are telling, as derided afterwards, when the euent hath wrought their diſproofe and ſhame. I will deale with rumors as graue men doe by ſtrange faſhions, take them vp when they are growne into common vſe before: I may beleeue, but I will not relate them but vnderunder the name of my author; who ſhall either warrant me with defence, if it be true; or if falſe, beare my ſhame.
20
It was a wittie and true ſpeech of that obſcure Heraclitus, That all men awaking are in one common world, but when we ſleepe, each man goes into a ſeuerall world by himſelfe; which though it be but a world of fancies, yet is the true image of that little world which is in eueryevery mans heart. For the imaginations of our ſleepe, ſhew vsus what our diſpoſition is awaking. And as many in their dreames reueale thoſe their ſecrets to others, which they would neuer hauehave done awake: ſo all may and doe diſcloſe to themſelues in their ſleepe thoſe ſecret inclinations, which after much ſearching, they could not hauehave found out waking. I doubt not therefore, but as God heretofore hath taught future things in dreames (which kinde of reuelation is now ceaſed) ſo ſtill he teacheth the preſent eſtate of the heart this way. Some dreames are from our ſelues, vaine and idle, like our ſelues: Others are diuine, which teach vsus good, or moue vsus to good: and others deuilliſh, which ſollicite vsus to euill. Such anſwer commonly ſhall I giuegive to any temptation in the day, as I doe by night. I will not lightly paſſe ouer my very dreames. They ſhall teach me ſomewhat; ſo neither night nor day ſhall be ſpent vnprofitably: the night ſhall teach me what I am, the day what I ſhould be.
21
Men make difference betwixt ſeruants, friends, and ſonnes. Seruants, though neere vsus in place, yet for their inferioritie, are not familiar. Friends, though by reaſon of their equalitie, and our louelove, they are familiar; yet ſtill we conceiue of them as others from our ſelues. But children we thinke of, affectionately, as the diuided peeces of our owne bodies. But all theſe are one to God: his ſeruants are his friends, his friends are his ſons, his ſons his ſeruants. Many claime kinred of God, and profeſſe friendſhip to him, becauſe theſe are priuileges without difficultie, and not without honour: all the triall is in ſeruice. The other are moſt in affection, and therefore ſecret, and ſo may be diſſembled, this conſiſting in action, muſt needs ſhew it ſelfe to the eies of others. Yee are my friends, if ye doe whatſoeuer I command you: friendſhip with God is in ſeruice, and this ſeruice is in action. Many weare Gods cloth, that know not their maſter, that neuer did good chare in his ſeruice: ſo that God hath many retainers that weare his liuerie, for a countenance, neuer wait on him; whom he will neuer owne for ſeruants either by fauour, or wages; few ſeruants, and therefore few ſons. It is great fauour in God, and great honour to me, that he will vouchſafe to make me the loweſt drudge in his family; which place if I had not, and were a Monarch of men, I were accurſed. I deſire no more but to ſerue; yet, Lord, thou giueſt me more, to be thy ſonne. I heare Dauid ſay, Seemeth it a ſmall matter to you, to be the ſonne in law to a King? What is it then, oh what is it, to bee the true adopted ſonne of the King of glory? Let me not now ſay as Dauid of Saul, but as Sauls grand-childe to Dauid; Oh, what is thy ſeruant, that thou ſhouldeſt looke vponupon ſuch a dead dogge as I am?
22
I am a ſtranger here below, my home is aboue; yet I can thinke too well of theſe forraine vanities, and cannot thinke enough of my home. Surely, that is not ſo farre aboue my head, as my thoughts; neither doth ſo farre paſſe me in diſtance, as in comprehenſion: and yet I would not ſtand ſo much vponupon conceiuing, if I could admire it enough: but my ſtraight heart is filled with a little wonder; and hath no roome for the greateſt part of glorie that remaineth. O God, what happineſſe haſt thou prepared for thy choſen? What a purchaſe was this, worthy of the bloud of ſuch a Sauiour? As yet I doe but looke towards it afarre off: but it is eaſie to ſee by the outſide, how goodly it is within: Although as thine houſe on earth; ſo that aboue hath more glorie within, than can be bewrayed by the outward appearance. The outer part of thy Tabernacle here below, is but an earthly and baſe ſubſtance; but within, it is furniſhed with a liuing, ſpirituall, and heauenly gueſt: ſo the outer heauens, though they bee as gold to all other materiall creatures; yet they are but droſſe to thee: yet how are euen the outmoſt walls of that houſe of thine, beautified with glorious lights, whereof eueryevery one is a world for bigneſſe, and as an heauen for goodlineſſe! Oh teach me by this to long after, and wonder at the inner part, before thou letſt me come in to behold it.
23
Riches or beautie, or what-euer worldly good that hath beene, doth but grieue vsus; that which is, doth not ſatisfie vsus; that which ſhall be, is vncertaine. What folly is it to truſt to any of them?
24
Securitie makes worldlings merry: and therefore are they ſecure, becauſe they are ignorant. That is onelyonly ſolid ioy, which ariſeth from a reſolution; when the heart hath caſt vp a full account of all cauſes of diſquietneſſe, and findeth the cauſes of his ioy more forcible: thereupon ſetling it ſelfe in a ſtaied courſe of reioicing. For the other, ſo ſoone as ſorrow makes it ſelfe to be ſeene, eſpecially in an vnexpected forme, is ſwallowed vp in deſpaire; whereas this can meet with no occurrence, which it hath not preuented in thought. Securitie and ignorance may ſcatter ſome refuſe morſels of ioy, ſawced with much bitterneſſe; or may be like ſome boaſting houſe-keeper, which keepeth open doores for one day with much cheere, and liues ſtaruedly all the yeere after. There is no good Ordinarie but in a good conſcience. I pittie that vnſound ioy in others, and will ſeeke for this ſound ioy in my ſelfe. I had rather weepe vponupon a iuſt cauſe, than reioice vniuſtly.
25
As louelove keepes the whole Law, ſo louelove onelyonly is the breaker of it; being the ground, as of all obedience, ſo of all ſinne; for whereas ſinne hath beene commonly accounted to hauehave two roots, LoueLove and Feare; it is plaine, that feare hath his originall from louelove: for no man feares to loſe ought but what hee loues. Here is ſinne and righteouſneſſe brought both into a ſhort ſumme, depending both vponupon one poore affection: It ſhall be my onelyonly care therefore to beſtow my louelove well, both for obiect, and meaſure. All that is good, I may louelove, but in ſeuerall degrees; what is ſimply good, abſolutely; what is good by circumſtance, onelyonly with limitation. There be theſe three things that I may louelove without exception, God, my neighbour, my ſoule; yet ſo as each hauehave their due place▪ My body, goods, fame, &c. as ſeruants to the former. All other things I will either not care for, or hate.
26
One would not thinke, that pride and baſe-mindedneſſe ſhould ſo well agree; yea, that they louelove ſo together, that they neuer goe aſunder. That enuie euer proceeds from a baſe minde, is granted of all: Now the proud man, as he faine would bee enuied of others, ſo he enuieth all men. His betters he enuies, becauſe he is not ſo good as they: he enuies his inferiours, becauſe he feares they ſhould proue as good as he: his equals, becauſe they are as good as he. So vnderunder bigge lookes, he beares a baſe minde, reſembling ſome Cardinals Mule, which to make vp the traine, beares a coſtly Port-mantle ſtuffed with traſh. On the contrary, who is more proud than the baſeſt? (the Cynicke tramples on Platoes pride, but with a worſe) eſpecially if he be but a little exalted; wherein wee ſee baſe men ſo much more haughtie, as they hauehave had leſſe before what they might be proud of. It is iuſt with God, as the proud man is baſe in himſelfe, ſo to make him baſely eſteemed in the eies of others; and at laſt to make him baſe without pride. I will contemne a proud man, becauſe he is baſe, and pitie him, becauſe he is proud.
27
Let me but hauehave time to my thoughts; but leiſure to thinke of Heauen, and grace to my leiſure; and I can be happy in ſpight of the world. Nothing, but God that giues it, can bereaue me of grace; and he will not; for his gifts are without repentance. Nothing but death can abridge me of time; and when I begin to want time to thinke of heauen, I ſhall hauehave eternall leiſure to enioy it. I ſhall be both waies happie, not from any vertue of apprehenſion in mee (which hauehave no peere in vnworthineſſe) but from the glorie of that I apprehend; wherein the act and obiect are from the author of happineſſe. He giues me this glorie; let me giuegive him the glorie of his gift. His glory is my happineſſe; let my glorie be his.
28
God beſtowes fauours vponupon ſome in anger, as he ſtrikes otherſome in louelove: (The Iſraelites had better hauehave wanted their Quailes, than to hauehave eaten them with ſuch ſawce.) And ſometimes at our inſtancie remouing a leſſer puniſhment, leaues a greater, though inſenſible, in the roome of it. I will not ſo much ſtriue againſt affliction, as diſpleaſure. Let me rather be afflicted in louelove, than proſper without it.
29
It is ſtrange that we men hauing ſo continuall vſe of God, and being ſo perpetually beholding to him, ſhould be ſo ſtrange to him, and ſo little acquainted with him: ſince wee account it a peruerſe nature in any man, that being prouoked with many kinde offices, refuſes the familiaritie of a worthy friend, which doth ſtill ſeeke it, and hath deſerued it. Whence it comes, that we are ſo loth to thinke of our diſſolution and going to God: for naturally where we are not acquainted, we Iiſt not to hazard our welcome; chuſing rather to ſpend our money at a ſimple Inne, than to turne in for a free lodging to an vnknowne Oaſt, whom we hauehave onelyonly heard of, neuer had friendſhip with; whereas to an entire friend, whoſe nature and welcome we know, and whom wee hauehave elſewhere familiarly conuerſed withal, we goe as boldly & willingly as to our home knowing that no houre can be vnſeaſonable to ſuch a one: whiles on the other ſide we ſcrape acquaintance with the world, that neuer did vsus good, euen after many repulſes. I will not liue with God, and in God, without his acquaintance, knowing it my happineſſe to hauehave ſuch a friend. I will not let one day paſſe without ſome act of renewing my familiaritie with him; not giuing ouer till I hauehave giuen him ſome teſtimonie of my louelove to him, and ioy in him; and till he hath left behinde him ſome pledge of his continued fauour to me.
30
Men, for the moſt part, would neither die nor be old. When we ſee an aged man that hath ouer-liued all the teeth of his gums, the haire of his head, the ſight of his eies, the taſte of his palate; we profeſſe, we would not liue till ſuch a comberſome age wherein we proue burdens to our deareſt friends, and our ſelues: yet if it be put to our choice what yeere we would die, we euer ſhift it off till the next; and want not excuſes for this prorogation, rather than faile, alleaging, we would liue to amend; when yet wee doe but adde more to the heape of our ſinnes by continuance. Nature hath nothing to plead for this folly, but that life is ſweet: wherein wee giuegive occaſion of renewing that ancient checke, or one not vnlike to it, whereby that primitiue viſion taxed the timorouſneſſe of the ſhrinking Confeſſors; Yee would neither liue to bee old, nor die ere your age: what ſhould I doe with you? The Chriſtian muſt not thinke it enough to endure the thought of death with patience, when it is obtruded vponupon him by neceſſitie; but muſt voluntarily call it into his minde with ioy; not onelyonly abiding it ſhould come, but wiſhing that it might come. I will not leaue till I can reſolue, if I might die to day, not to liue till to morrow.
31
As a true friend is the ſweeteſt contentment in the world: ſo in his qualities hee well reſembleth hony, the ſweeteſt of all liquors. Nothing is more ſweet to the taſte, nothing more ſharpe and cleanſing, when it meets with an exulcerate ſore. For my ſelfe, I know I muſt hauehave faults; and therefore I care not for that friend, that I ſhall neuer ſmart by. For my friends, I know they cannot be faultleſſe; and therefore as they ſhall finde mee ſweet in their praiſes and encouragements, ſo ſharpe alſo in their cenſure. Either let them abide me no friend to their faults, or no friend to themſelues.