Of Domestical Duties, Treatise 1 · Section 8 – Section 9
§. 8. Of the lawfulneſſe of priuate functions in a familie.
Among other particular callings the Apoſtle maketh choice of thoſe which God hath ſettled in priuate families, and is accurat in reciting the ſeuerall and diſtinct orders thereof, (for a family conſiſteth of theſe three orders,
| Husbands, | Parents, | Maſters, | all which he |
| Wiues, | Children, | Seruants, |
reckoneth vp) yea he is alſo copious, and earneſt in vrging the duties which appertaine to them. Whence wee may well inferre, that
The priuate vocations of a family, and functions appertaining 2 Doctr. Priuate duties of the familie well beſeeme any Chriſtian. foreign. Ariſt. Polit. lib. 1thereto, are ſuch as Chriſtians are called vntounto by God, and in the exerciſing whereof, they may and muſt imploy ſome part of their time. For can we thinke that the Holy Ghoſt (who, as the Philoſophers ſpeake of nature, doth nothing in vaine) would ſo diſtinctly ſet downe theſe priuate duties, & ſo forcibly vrge them, if they did not well become, and neerely concerne Chriſtians? All the places in Scripture which require family-duties, are proofs of the truth of this doctrine.
The reaſons of this doctrine are cleere; for the family is Reaſon. The familie a ſeminarie.a ſeminary of the Church and common-wealth. It is as a Bee-hive, in which is the ſtocke, and out of which are ſent many ſwarmes of Bees: for in families are all ſorts of people bred and brought vp: and out of families are they ſent into the Church and common-wealth. The firſt beginning of mankinde, and of his increaſe, was out of a family. For firſt did God ioyne in mariage Adam and Eue, made them husband and wife, and then gaue them children: ſo as huſband and wife, parent and childe, (which are parts of a family) were before magiſtrate and ſubiect, miniſter and people, which are the parts of a Common-wealth, and a Church. When by the generall deluge all publike ſocieties were deſtroyed, a familie, euen the family of Noah, was preſerued, and out of it kingdomes and nations againe raiſed. That great people of the Iewes which could not be numbred for multitude, was raiſed out of the family of Abram. Yea euen to this day hauehave all ſorts of people come from families, and ſo ſhall to the end of the world. Whence it followeth, that a conſcionable performance of domeſticall and houſhold duties, tend to the good ordering of Church and common-wealth, as being meanes to fit and prepare men thereunto.
Beſides, a familie is a little Church, and a little commonwealth, 2 Reaſon. A familie is a repreſentation of Church and commonwealth.at leaſt a liuely repreſentation thereof, whereby triall may be made of ſuch as are fit for any place of authoritie, or of ſubiection in Church or common-wealth. Or rather it is as a ſchoole wherein the firſt principles and grounds of gouernment and ſubiection are learned: whereby men are fitted to greater matters in Church or commonwealth. Wherupon the f1. Tim. 3. 5.Apoſtle declareth, that a Biſhop that cannot rule his own houſe, is not fit to gouerne the Church. So we may say of inferiours that cannot be ſubiect in a familie; they will hardly be brought to yeeld ſuch ſubiection as they ought in Church or common-wealth: inſtance Abſolom, and Adoniah, Dauids ſonnes.
This is to be noted for ſatisfaction of certaine weake 1 Vſe. Priuat callings in a familie ſufficient callings.conſciences, who thinke that if they hauehave no publike calling, they hauehave no calling at all; and thereupon gather that all their time is ſpent without a calling. Which conſequence if it were good and ſound, what comfort in ſpending their time ſhould moſt women hauehave, who are not admitted to any publike function in Church or commonwealth? or ſeruants, children, and others who are wholly imployed in priuate affaires of the familie? But the forenamed doctrine ſheweth the vnſoundneſſe of that conſequence. Beſides, who knoweth not that the preſeruation of families tendeth to the good of Church and common-wealth? ſo as a conſcionable performance of houſhold duties, in regard of the end and fruit thereof, may be accounted a publike worke. Yea, if domeſticall duties be well and throughly performed, they will be euen enough to take vp a mans whole time. If a maſter of a family be alſo an huſband of a wife, and a father of children, he ſhall finde worke enough: as by thoſe particular duties, which we ſhall afterwards ſhew to belong vntounto maſters, husbands, and parents, may eaſily be proued. So a wife likwiſe, if ſhe alſo be a mother and a miſtris, and faithfully endeuour to doe what by vertue of thoſe callings ſhe is bound to doe, ſhall finde enough to doe. As for children vnderunder the gouernment of their parents, and ſeruants in a familie, their whole calling is to be obedient to their parents and maſters, and to doe what they command them in the Lord. Wherefore if they who hauehave no publike calling, be ſo much the more diligent in the functions of their priuate callings, they ſhall be as well accepted of the Lord, as if they had publike offices.
Yet many therebe, who hauing no publike imployment, thinke they may ſpend their time as they liſt, either in idleneſſe, 2 Vſe. Reproofe of ſuch as hauing no publike office, thinke themſelues freed from all dutie.or in following their vaine pleaſures and delights day after day, and ſo caſt themſelues out of all calling. Such are many maſters of families who commit all the care of their houſe either to their wiues, or to ſome ſeruant, and miſpend their whole time in idleneſſe, riotouſneſſe, and voluptuouſneſſe. Such are many miſtreſſes, who ſpend their time in lying a bed, attiring themſelues, and goſhipping. Such are many young gentlemen liuing in their fathers houſes, who partly through the too-much-indulgencie and negligence of their parents, and partly through their owne headſtrong affections, and rebellious will, runne without reſtraint whither their corrupt luſts lead them. Theſe, and ſuch other like to theſe, though by Gods prouidence they be placed in callings, in warrantable callings, and in ſuch callings as miniſter vntounto them matter enough of imployment, yet make themſelues to be of no calling. Now what bleſſing can they looke for from the Lord? The Lord vſeth Gods bleſſing on men diligent in their calling.to giuegive his bleſſing to men, while they are buſied in their callings. gGen. 31. 42.Iaacobs faithfull ſeruice to his vncle Laban moued God to bleſſe him. hGen. 39. 2.Ioſephs faithfulneſſe to his maſter Potiphar was had in remembrance with God, who aduanced him to be ruler in Egypt. iExo. 3. 1, 2.Moſes was keeping his father in lawes ſheepe when God appeared to him in the buſh, and appointed him a Prince ouer his people. k1 Sam. 16. 11Dauid was ſent for from the field, where he was keeping his fathers ſheepe, when he was anointed to be king ouer Iſrael. l1 King. 19. 19.Eliſha was plowing when he was anointed to be a Prophet. mLuk. 2. 8.The ſhepherds were watching their ſheepe, when that gladſome tidings was brought to them, that the Sauiour of the world was borne. Not to inſiſt on any more particulars, the promiſe of Gods protection is reſtrained to our callings: for nPſal. 91. 11.the charge which God hath giuen to the Angels concerning man is, to keepe him in all his waies.
As for thoſe who hauehave publike offices in Church or n3. Vſe. Publike callings may not hinder priuate duties.common-wealth, they may not thereupon thinke themſelues exempted from all family-duties. Theſe priuate duties are neceſſarie duties. Though a man be a magiſtrate or a miniſter, yet if he be an husband, or a father, or a maſter, he may not neglect his wife, children, and ſeruants. Indeed they who are freed from publike functions, are bound to attend ſo much the more vponupon the priuate duties of their families, becauſe they hauehave more leiſure thereunto. But none ought wholly to neglect them. oIoſ. 24. 15.Ioſuah, who was a Captaine and Prince of his people, and very much imployed in publike affaires, yet neglected not his familie: for he profeſſeth that he and his houſe would ſerue the Lord. It ſeemeth that p1 Sam. 2. 29. & 3. 13.Eli was negligent in performing the dutie of a father, and q1 King. 1. 6.Dauid alſo. But what followed thereupon? Two of Elies sonnes proued ſacrilegious, and lewd Prieſts. Two of Dauids ſonnes proued very ill commonwealths-men, euen plaine traitors.
§. 9. Of the Apoſtles order in laying downe the duties of husbands and wiues in the firſt place.
There being three eſpeciall degrees, or orders in a familie, Why duties of man and wife firſt deliuered.(as we heard before) the Apoſtle placeth husband and wife in the firſt ranke, and firſt declareth their duties, and that not without good reaſon: for
Firſt, The husband and wife were the firſt couple that 1. Man and wife were the firſt couple.euer were in the world. Adam and Eue were ioyned in mariage, and made man and wife before they had children, or ſeruants. So falleth it out for the moſt part euen to this day in erecting, or bringing together a familie: the firſt couple is ordinarily an husband and a wife.
Secondly, moſt vſually the husband and his wife are the 2. Man and wife are commonly the chiefeſt in a familie.chiefeſt in a familie, all vnderunder them ſingle perſons: they gouernours of all the reſt in the houſe. Therefore moſt meet it is, that they ſhould firſt know their dutie, and learne to practiſe it, that ſo they may be an example to all the reſt. If they faile in their dutie one to another, they giuegive occaſion to all the reſt vnderunder them to be careleſſe, and negligent in theirs. Let an husband be churliſh to his wife, and deſpiſe her, he miniſtreth an occaſion to children and ſeruants to contemne her likewiſe, and to be diſobedient vntounto her: yea, to be churliſh and froward one to another, eſpecially to their vnderlings. Let a wife be vntruſtie and vnfaithfull to her husband, let her filch and purloine from him, children and ſeruants will ſoone take courage, or rather boldneſſe from her example priuily to ſteale what they can from their father, and maſter. Thus is their breach of Bis peccat qui exemplo peccat.dutie a double fault: one in reſpect of the party whom they wrong, and to whom they denie dutie: the other in reſpect of thoſe to whom they giuegive occaſion of ſinning.
Know therefore, O husbands and wiues, that yee, aboue Vſe.all other in the familie, are moſt bound vntounto a conſcionable performance of your dutie. Greater will your condemnation be, if you faile therein. Looke to it aboue the reſt: and by your example draw on your children and ſeruants (if you hauehave any) to performe their duties: which ſurely they will more readily do, when they ſhall behold you as guides going before them, and making conſcience of your ioynt and ſeuerall duties.