Of Domestical Duties, Treatise 6 · Section 68 – Section 78
§. 68. Of the prerogatiue of the firſt-borne ſonne.
Queſt. May not a parent preferre his firſt-borne childe, and heire before his other children?
Anſw. We muſt put difference betwixt a fathers diſpoſing his eſtate vponupon his children, and the ordering of his affection towards them. A parents affection, and care of good education, and deſire of true good, and faithfull praiers to God, may be as great towards his younger children, as towards his eldeſt ſonne and heire, and yet may he beſtow the greateſt patrimony vponupon the heire: which is no partialitie.
2. Queſt. Is it then iuſt and equall that the eldeſt ſonne ſhould hauehave a greater patrimony then any of the reſt?
Anſw. It is moſt iuſt and equall. For
1. God hath ſo appointed it: yea bDeut. 21. 17.he made this to be one of the prerogatiues of the firſt-borne, to hauehave a double portion. VponUpon this ground c1 Chr. 5. 2.Ioſeph, who was the firſt-borne of the true wife, had a double portion; and as a teſtimony thereof his poſteritie made two tribes.
2. The lawes of all nations doe order as much.
3. Our law giueth the whole inheritance of freeholds to the eldeſt ſonne: in which reſpect it is due vntounto him. For in ciuill and temporall matters this rule is true, we liue by law. I take it to be a matter of conſcience for a parent to leaue that to eueryevery childe which by law is due to him. Neither is it without good reaſon that the law ordaineth that a parents whole eſtate of freehold land ſhould deſcend: for
1. There is an excellency in the firſt borne, as is euident by Iaakobs ſpeech to his eldeſt ſonne, dGen. 49. 3.thou art my firſt borne, my might, and the beginning of my ſtrength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power. And thereupon eExod. 13. 2.God tooke the firſt borne as peculiar to himſelfe.
2. Houſes and families by this meanes are vpheld and continued from age to age. How needfull it is for the eſtabliſhment of a commonwealth that families ſhould thus be continued, is euident both by experience to all ſuch as hauehave but halfe an eie to ſee wherein the ſtability of a common wealth conſiſteth, and alſo by the many lawes which God ordained among the Iewes for this purpoſe: as
1. That fLeu. 25. 23.no land ſhould be quite cut off from a family.
2. That gVerſ. 25.if any through pouerty were forced to ſell his land, the next of kin was to buy it.
3. That hVerſ. 28.if a man that had ſold his land, could by no meanes redeeme it againe, at the yeere of Iubilee he was to hauehave the poſſeſſion of it againe.
4. That iNum. 36. 8.if daughters were heires they ſhould not marry out of their fathers tribe: and this reaſon is giuen, that eueryevery man may enioy the inheritance of his fathers.
Obiect. By leauing the whole inheritance to the eldeſt, he may be made a Gentleman, and all the other beggars.
Anſw. In this reſpect parents ought to be ſo much the more prouident for their other children, in training them vp to callings, or laying vp portions, or ſetling other eſtates vponupon them beſide the maine inheritance, or in taking order that comp…ent portions be raiſed out of the inheritance of the eldeſt ſon, …n caſe God take them away before they hauehave otherwiſe pro…ided for their children.
Out of this anſwer may a third reaſon be gathered, to ſhew that it is a behouefull law for the commonwealth that the heire ſhould hauehave all the land. For this law maketh parents more carefull in training vp their younger ſonnes to ſundry callings which are profitable to a commonwealth. If eueryevery childe ſhould hauehave a part of his fathers lands, they would all ſo depend thereupon, as none of them would exerciſe themſelues to ſuch callings as are meanes of mens maintenance.
§. 69. Of parents partiality towards ſome children.
Contrary to the forenamed duty of a parents equall reſpect to all his children, is partiality in fathers and mothers, manifeſted ſundry waies. For
1. Many parents hauehave their darling children, to whom ſo Iniquiſſima volucris aquila in educanda ſua prole dicitur eſſe. Pullorum enim alterum alis percuſſum abigit: alterum ſolum vti ſuum educat. Baſil. Hexaem. hom. 8.much affection is ſhewed, as in compariſon none is ſhewed to others. When ſome are hugged in the boſome, others are neglected as if they were none of their owne, but baſely borne. The vnnaturalneſſe of the eagle is noted in this kinde, that ſhe flaps and driues out of the neſt one of her young ones, and feedeth only the other as her owne. From ſuch partiality in parents proceed many miſchiefes: as theſe,
1. They giuegive occaſion to ſuch as obſerue it, to ſuſpect that thoſe children who are ſo little reſpected, are none of their owne.
2. They cauſe enuy, malice, and much contention to ariſe among children. When Ioſephs brethren ſaw that their father Gen. 37. 4.loued him more then all them, they hated him, and could not ſpeake peaceably vntounto him.
3. They prouoke God to inflict ſome iudgement on thoſe children that are ſo cockered, and preferred before the reſt: that ſo they may the better ſee their folly.
This ſinne of parents partiality is ſo much the greater, when vponupon outward reſpects they preferre the wicked and vngodly children before pious and gracious children. Iſaak herein much failed, for cGen. 25. 28.he loued Eſau (a dHeb. 12. 16.profane wretch) becauſe he did eat of his Veniſon.
2. Other parents ſo ſet themſelues to raiſe their houſe, as a… their care is to aduance their eldeſt ſonne, by education, by liberall allowance, and by leauing all they hauehave to him: and i… the meane while neglect their younger children. Though (as was noted *§. 68.before) the maine inheritance may iuſtly without ſhew of partiality be left to the heire, yet to be carefull only for him, and to neglect the other, ſauoureth ranke of partiality. It is moſt agreeable to naturall reaſon, that as life is giuen to all Conſentaneum eſt rationi naturae vt aequè tribuere cui que vitam, ſic etiam viuendi facultates praeſtare. Baſil. loc. citat.children, ſo meanes of maintaining life ſhould be giuen to all.
3. In the number of partiall parents may they be reckoned, who vniuſtly diſinherit their firſt borne. For the inheritance of right belonging to them, and they not deſeruing to be diſinherited, aſſuredly it is ſome by reſpect or other which maketh parents prefer the younger before the elder: and this is plaine partiality. This kinde of partiality is commonly in ſuch parents as hauehave had children by ſeuerall wiues. Sometimes diſlike of a former wife maketh a father diſlike the children he hath by her, and through diſlike to diſinherit the heire by her. God gaue the Iewes an expreſſe law againſt this kinde of Deu. 21. 15. &c.partiality.
Sometimes againe a gripulous ſeeking of aduantage to themſelues maketh parents to diſinherit the right heire: as when a man after he hath buried the mother of his firſt borne, hearing of another woman which is of great wealth, maketh ſute for her. She refuſeth becauſe he hath an heire of a former wife. He to remoue that blocke entereth couenant to make the ſonne which he hath by her (if he hauehave any) his heire: hereupon the mariage is conſummate: his ſecond wife bringeth forth a ſonne: he for his couenant ſake diſinheriteth the firſt heire. An vniuſt, and vnlawfull practiſe.
§. 70. Of the cauſes for which the firſt-borne may be diſinherited.
Queſt. May not then a firſt-borne ſonne be diſinherited?
Anſw. Yes, The Scripture noteth two cauſes wherein the firſt-borne may be put from the inheritance.
1. If he be illegitimate: for ſuch an one hath no good title: The ſonne of the bondwoman ſhall not be heire with my ſonne, Gen. 21. 10.ſaith Sarah, and that iuſtly. To like purpoſe ſay the ſons of Gileads wife to Iephthah, Thou ſhalt not inherit in our fathers houſe, Iudg. 11. 2.for thou art the ſonne of a ſtrange woman. Iuſt was that blame which Iotham laid vponupon the men of Shechem for making Abimelech Iudg. 9. 18.the baſe ſonne of Ierubbaal King: and iuſt was Gods vengeance vponupon them for that wrong done to Ierubbaals legitimate children.
2. If he be notoriouſly wicked. Thus eGen. 49. 4. 1 Chro. 5. 1.Ruben for committing abominable inceſt loſt his birthright.
Many particular crimes are reckoned vp by the *Sum. Sylueſt. part. 1. Tract▪ de haered.ciuill Lawyers, which would be too long here to recite.
§. 71. Of the dutie of fathers and mothers in law.
The extent of this title (Fathers) is in the laſt place to be Who are in place of parents.conſidered. Not only naturall parents themſelues, but alſo all that are in their place are compriſed vnderunder it. As they who are in the place of parents,
1. By the bond of mariage.
2. By propinquity of bloud.
3. By voluntary appointment.
The firſt ſort are fathers and mothers in law: who are ſo reckoned either by the mariage of parents themſelues, or by the mariage of their children.
That man or woman which is maried to a parent that had children before their mariage, is in the place of a naturall parent: thus Ioſeph was a bLuke 2. 48.father to Ieſus, and cGen. 25. 1.Keturah a mother to Iſaak. So againe the naturall parents of that ſonne that hath maried a wife, or of that daughter that is maried to an husband, are in the place of parents to the wife of their ſonne, and to the husband of their daughter. Thus dExod. 18. 1.Iethro was a father to Moſes, and eRuth 3. 1.Naomi a mother to Ruth.
All theſe are to account their children in law (that is, the Parents in law to performe like duties as naturall parents.children of their husband and wife, or the wiues of their ſons, and the husbands of their daughters) as their owne naturall children, and according to the age and place of theſe children to performe the forenamed duties, and eueryevery way to ſeeke their good (except in ſuch duties as after a peculiar manner belong to naturall parents, as nurſing to a naturall mother, leauing the inheritance to a naturall parent.)
For a patterne hereof take the forenamed examples of Ioſeph and Naomi. What naturall parents could doe more for their owne children then Ioſeph did for Ieſus, and Naomi for Ruth? The hiſtory noteth how Ioſeph tooke care to hauehave his wiues childe fLuk. 2. 21, 22.circumciſed, and preſented in the temple: how he gMat. 2. 14.fled from place to place to preſerue the childs life: how hLuk. 2. 48.perplexed he was when he thought the childe was loſt: how he iUerſ. 51.trained him vp in his owne houſe. The hiſtory alſo noteth how kRuth 1. 22.Naomi brought Ruth her ſonnes wife into her own countrey, and retained her with her ſelfe, and l& 2. 22.directed her whither to goe, and m& 3. 1.what husband to hauehave, and n& 4. 16.became a nurſe to her childe.
1. Mariage maketh man and wife one fleſh: in which reſpect Reaſons.they ought to hauehave one minde, and the ſame affections, as mutually each to other, ſo ioyntly to the children of each other. On which ground alſo the husband and wife of a childe, being one fleſh with the childe, ought as the childe to be reſpected. On this ground God counteth the Saints his oEph. 5. 1. foreign.deare children, becauſe they are p2 Cor. 11. 2.eſpouſed to his naturall ſon.
2. To reſpect the children of an husband or wife as their owne, is a great euidence of intire louelove to the husband and wife. And to reſpect the husband and wife of a childe is a great euidence of louelove to the childe it ſelfe. If the worlds prouerbe hold true (louelove me and louelove my dog) how much more true is this Chriſtian rule, louelove me and louelove my childe: or louelove me and louelove mine husband: or louelove me and louelove my wife.
3. This alſo is an eſpeciall meanes to kindle and preſerue mutuall louelove betwixt man and wife, who hauehave children of former husbands and wiues: as alſo betwixt parents and children.
§. 72. Of the peruerſe cariage of fathers and mothers in law to their children.
Contrary is the cariage of moſt fathers and mothers in law: eſpecially of thoſe who are maried to husbands or to wiues that had children before mariage: ſo farre they are from performing the forenamed duty, as rather they enuy at the proſperity of their husbands and wiues children: and ſecretly endeuour to hinder it in what they can: and cunningly leeke to alienate the naturall parents affection from them: whence Senecae Hippolytus.fearefull tragedies hauehave beene made, and lamentable miſchiefes hauehave followed. What other reaſon can be giuen hereof Ouid. Metamorph. l. 15. ſab. 45.but a plaine inſtigation of the deuill, who thus laboureth to diſunite thoſe whom God hath ioyned together? For auoiding this ſnare note the miſchiefes that follow from thence.
1. Such parents ſinne againſt Gods ordinance: and as Eue, leane more to Satans ſuggeſtion then to Gods direction.
2. They alienate the hearts and affections of one from another: not only from their children, but from themſelues.
3. They prouoke their children in law to contemne and deſpiſe them, and to yeeld no duty vntounto them.
Hence note into what an hell vnkinde fathers and mothers in law doe caſt themſelues. If this were duly weighed, I thinke they would be otherwiſe minded. But the god of this world doth ſo blinde their eies with ſelfe-louelove, and with enuy, that they cannot ſee the miſchiefes whereinto they implunge themſelues.
This is a point the more to be weighed, becauſe the fault here taxed is ſo common, and hath in all ages beene too common. Lurida terribiles miſcent aconita nouercae. Ouid. Metam. l. 1. fab. 4.What grieuous complaints hauehave in former times beene made, and ſtill are made by children againſt fathers and mothers in law? Whence alſo direfull imprecations hauehave followed. Let widowers and widowes that hauehave children ſeriouſly thinke of it before hand: and be the more circumſpect in taking a ſecond or third husband or wife: and after they are maried let them take heed of Satans ſnares: and let conſcience of dutie more preuaile with them, then corruption of nature.
§. 73. Of the faults of parents to their childrens husbands and wiues.
Many parents to the husbands and wiues of their children doe alſo much tranſgreſſe and ſwarue from their dutie: for
1. They will ſhew much more reſpect to their owne children then to the children of their husbands or wiues: as by comming to their daughters when their husbands are abroad, and neuer but then: and ſending for their ſonnes to their houſe, but not for their wiues.
2. In all differences they will take part with their owne children, though it be in the worſe part, and ſhew great partiality.
3. They will oft giuegive very ill counſell: aduiſing their ſons to keepe their wiues ſhort: aduiſing their daughters not to be too ſubiect to their husbands, yea priuily to purloine from their husbands.
4. If they liue with their children, they will ſo prie into eueryevery thing that their childrens husband or wife doth, and ſhew ſuch ſuſpicion and iealouſly in eueryevery thing, as they cannot but cauſe much diſcord: and hence it oft commeth to paſſe, that either parent and childe, or husband and wife muſt be parted: they cannot all in peace liue together.
Theſe faults I thus note, that they may the more carefully be auoided.
§. 74. Of their dutie who are in ſtead of parents to Orphants.
The next ſort of thoſe who are in ſtead of parents, are thoſe who in bloud and kindred are next to parents: as grandfathers, grand-mothers, vncles, aunts, elder brothers, or ſiſters, their husbands or wiues, and coſins.
Theſe commonly are counted to be in the place of parents, The next of kin to Orphants to be as naturall parents.when God taketh away naturall and immediate parents from their children: ſo as they are parents to Orphants.
The duties which were preſcribed to naturall parents appertaine to them (except *§. 71.before excepted.) Their dutie is to ſee theſe Orphants well educated, well placed in ſome good calling, well maried, and (if the Orphants be left deſtitute of meanes) well prouided for.
Mordecai is a worthy preſident and patterne for this kinde of parents. bEſt. 2. 7.He brought vp Eſther his vncles daughter (for ſhe had neither father nor mother) he tooke her for his owne daughter: when ſhe was taken from him, cVerſ. 11.he went to know how ſhe did, and what ſhould become of her: and dVerſ. 20, 22. Chap. 4. verſ. 13.he gaue her aduice from time to time how to carrie her ſelfe. Let ſuch as are parents to Orphants take this example as a direction, and as a motiue to performe the other duties preſcribed to naturall parents as need requireth, and occaſion is offered.
God by his prouidence taking away naturall parents committeth their Orphants as a charge to the next of kin: that as their naturall parents brought them forth, theſe ſhould bring them vp: therefore for their recompence let them looke to God, (who taketh vponupon himſelfe to be fPſal. 68. 5.a father of the fatherleſſe) and for their incouragement remember the reward which Mordecai receiued of the Lord: yea alſo let them remember the bleſſing that God beſtowed vponupon Eſther. God doth oft ſo bleſſe the meanes vſed for the education of Orphants, as they who take the care thereof hauehave no cauſe to repent their paines and coſt, but rather hauehave much matter of comfort, ioy and thankſgiuing.
§. 75. Of the common neglect of Orphants.
Too too common is the contrary diſpoſition of moſt kinſmen, and kinſwomen; they thinke they are bound to none but their owne children, and if they hauehave no children, to none at all. Many are of Ruths kinſmans minde, they feare to marre Ruth 4. 6.their owne inheritance. Though they be themſelues exceeding rich, and ſpend much in apparell, paſtimes and houſe-keeping, yet they can ſuffer the Orphants of their poore kindred to want, and to beg for need.
This is it that maketh the loſſe of naturall parents to be ſo much the greater. And herein many Chriſtians are more inhumane then the heathen: which the Apoſtle implieth, where he faith, they are worſe then infidels: for Orphants next of kinne 1 Tim. 5. 8.are to be reckoned among thoſe whom the Apoſtle termeth a mans *foreign.OVVNE.
§. 76. Of the dutie of Guardians.
The laſt ſort of thoſe who are in place of parents, are ſuch as hauehave the charge of children committed to them by voluntary appointment of parents, or are choſen by children themſelues, or by the magiſtrate when parents are dead, or lunatike, or any other way impotent, and vnable to traine vp their owne children.
Of theſe care and conſcience is rather required, then coſt and charges: for commonly both their charges are allowed, and their paines recompenced.
They who by reaſon of the death or impotency of naturall parents hauehave the charge of children committed to them, are commonly called Guardians: of whom two generall duties are required.
1. That they looke to their Pupils good education.
2. That they preſerue their patrimony and inheritance.
For their education, the directions giuen before to naturall parents are to be obſerued by them.
For preſeruation of their patrimonie, they muſt doe for their Pupils what they would doe for their owne children; and ſo carry themſelues, as with good conſcience they may giuegive that account to their Pupils, or any other, which the law requireth.
The two forenamed duties, are the rhaine ends for which Guardians are choſen: in performing whereof, if they be faithfull, great redreſſe will be made of the vntimely death of parents; and notwithſtanding parents die before their children be of diſcretion to manage their eſtate, yet will their houſes and families be maintained, and young heires kept from cunnie-catchers and cheaters.
It is noted of Iohn, who had the mother of Ieſus commended Ioh. 19. 27.to him, that he tooke her to his owne home: whereby is implied his prouident care for her good.
§. 77. Of the fraud of Guardians.
Contrary is the practiſe of moſt Guardians, who take Pupils Tutela ad vtilitatem eorum qui commiſſi ſunt, non ad corum quibus commiſſa, gerenda eſt. Cic. Offic. l. 1.for their owne aduantage, and make a prey of them. The heathen could ſay, that Guardianſhip is to be performed for the benefit of the Pupill, and not of the Guardian. Yet among Chriſtians is the forenamed fault of Guardians.
1. There are few children (that hauehave not naturall parents to looke to their good education) but are exceedingly neglected therein, and brought vp very rudely and licentiouſly: yea many times too ſparingly and …iggardly for diet, apparell, and other needfull things, though they hauehave ſufficient to diſcharge all that ſhall be laid out vponupon them.
2. The maine eſtate & patrimonie of many Pupils is much impaired: and if they hauehave lands, as much waſte is made vponupon them as poſſibly can be: and when a reckoning is to be giuen, it ſhall be a large, vniuſt, and moſt vnconſcionable reckoning of the Guardian can but get a generall releaſe, it is all that the caueth for.
3. Mariages are after a for forced vponupon many Pupils: and ſuch matches put vponupon them as they cannot like; yea ſuch as are no way fit for them, neither for eſtate, nor yeeres, nor proportion of bodie, nor qualities of minde.
Little doe theſe Guardians thinke of that account where unto they ſhall be brought an other day before the Lord, who ſtileth himſelfe the cPſal. 10. 14.helper of the fatherleſſe, and who beholdeth miſchiefe to requite it. Fearefull is that iudgement which the Lord hath dExo. 22. 22, &c.threatned againſt thoſe that oppreſſe the fatherleſſe. Let not therefore vniuſt Guardians thinke, that the gaine they get wrongfully from their Pupils ſhall proſper: but rather let them looke for Gods curſe vponupon their owne children, and goods.
If ſuch as parents themſelues hauehave vponupon their death-beds committed their children vntounto, in confidence of their faithfulneſſe, ſhall deale deceitfully with their Pupils, their ſinne is doubled, and trebled. For
1. They violate the bond of friendſhip, faithfulneſſe, and truſt repoſed vponupon them.
2. They ſinne directly againſt iuſtice.
3. Moſt monſtrouſly they tranſgreſſe the rules of charitie.
§. 78. Of the dutie of Schoolemaſters and Tutors.
Among thoſe who are by voluntarie appointment ſet in the place of parents, are Schoolemaſters and Tutors to be reckoned. The authoritie and charge of a parent is for a time committed to them: therefore for that time they ought to performe a parents dutie.
Their dutie is appropriated to education: it appertaineth not to them to maintaine the children committed to them: they are rather themſelues by their paines that way maintained.
All the duties which were before compriſed vnderunder nurture, belong to Schoolemaſters and Tutors. More particularly they are to inſtruct children in three things.
1. In learning.
2. In ciuilitie, and good manners.
3. In true pietie, and religion.
I ſhall not need to ſpeake more of theſe points then hath *§. 28, 34.before beene deliuered: only to prouoke them to be diligent in well nurturing children in thoſe three points, let the benefit of good Schoolemaſters and Tutors be well noted.
Schoolemaſters commonly caſt the firſt ſeed into the hearts of The benefit of a good Schoolmaſter.children: they firſt ſeaſon them: as the ſeed is, ſuch will the crop be: as the firſt ſeaſoning is, ſo will the ſauour continue to be. If they ſowe no good ſeed at all, what harueſt can be looked for? If they ſowe a corrupt ſeed of rudeneſſe, licentiouſneſſe, profaneneſſe, ſuperſtition, and any wickedneſſe, the crop muſt needs be anſwerable thereto. But if they ſowe the good ſeed of learning, ciuilitie, and pietie, there is great hope of a good crop.
Hence it followeth that they are of great vſe, and may bring much good, not only to the children themſelues, and their parents, Scholas & phrontiſteria virorum & mulierum philoſophiae ethnicae addictorum conſtru… it. Nicep. eccl. hiſt. l. 10. c. 21. The benefit of a good Tutor.but alſo to the Church and Common-wealth. Iulian the Apoſtat was not ignorant hereof: and therefore endeuouring to root Chriſtianitie out of the world, he ſuffered no man that profeſſed himſelfe a Chriſtian, to teach a ſchoole: but in ſtead of Chriſtian Schoolemaſters, he ſet vp in eueryevery part of his dominions, heatheniſh Schoolemaſters.
Tutors, to whoſe gouernment young ſchollers, that are ſent to the Vniuerſities, are committed, hauehave to deale with children in their riper yeeres; euen when the time of ſetling them in a courſe is come: the very time wherein much good may be done to children, or elſe wherein they may be vtterly peruerted. There will be little hope of bowing them, and drawing them into another courſe after they be freed from the gouernment of a Tutor. Tutors therefore, as they hauehave need of great wiſdome, ſo of good conſcience, that they may hauehave the greater care of their Pupils, and take the greater paines in teaching them the three forenamed points, learning, ciuilitie, and pietie. A good Tutor may doe much to repaire the negligence, and amend the defects of a Schoolemaſter: but there remaine none to redreſſe the failings of a Tutor: children for the moſt part are paſt redreſſing, when they ceaſe to hauehave a Tutor.