Of Domestical Duties, Treatise 5 · Section 39 – Section 43
§. 39. Of childrens Recompence.
The generall head whereunto al the duties which children owe to their parents in regard of their Neceſſity, is in one word Recompence, which is a dutie whereby children indeauour as much as in them lieth, to repay what they can for their parents kindneſſe, care, and coſt towards them, and that in way foreign. Ariſt. Ethic. l. 8. c. 14.of thankfulneſſe; which maketh a childe thinke he cannot doe too much for his parent, & well may he thinke ſo, for a parent doth much more for his childe before it is able to doe for it ſelfe, then the childe poſſibly can doe for the parent. So as if the parents authority were laid aſide, yet the law of equity requireth this dutie of Recompence: ſo alſo doth the law of piety and charity. Wherefore of all other Duties this is moſt due. 1 Tim. 5. 4. foreign.It is in expreſſe termes giuen in charge to children by the Apoſtle, who willeth them to learne to requite their parents.
Contrary is neglect of parents in their need, which is more It is monſtrous ingratitude for children to neglect their parents.then monſtrous ingratitude. As all ingratitude is odious to God and man, ſo this moſt of all, and yet very many are guilty thereof. In them the prouerbe is verified that louelove is weighty. For it is the property of weighty things to fall downe apace, out to aſcend ſlowly, and that not without ſome violence. Thus louelove from the parent to the childe falleth downe apace, …ut it hardly aſcendeth from children to parents. In which reſpect another prouerbe ſaith, One father will better nouriſh nine children, then nine children one father. Many children in his kinde doe no more for their parents, then for ſtrangers. They either conſider not how much their parents hauehave done for them; or elſe they conceit that what their parents did, was of meere dutie, and needeth no recompence. Fie vponupon ſuch barbarous and inhumane children!
§. 40. Of infirmities whereunto parents are ſubiect.
The rule of the forenamed recompence is on the one ſide A rule of recompence.the parents Neceſſity, and on the other, the childes Ability. So as in eueryevery thing wherein a parent needeth his childes helpe, the childe to his power muſt afford his beſt helpe. Beyond ones power nothing can be expected.Ultra poſſe non eſt eſſe.
| A parents Neceſſity may be through | Naturall infirmities. |
| Caſuall extremities. |
| Naturall infirmities are | Inward. |
| Outward. |
Inward Infirmities are weakeneſſe of iudgement, ſlipperineſſe of memory, violence of paſſion with the like; whence proceed frowardneſſe, teſtineſſe, ſuſpiciouſneſſe, iealouſie, feare, griefe, &c.
Outward Infirmities are ſuch as ariſe from ſome inſtant temptation, as were aGen. 9. 21.Noahs and b& 19. 33.Lots drunkenneſſe; b& 19. 33.Lots and c2 Sam. 11. 4.Dauids vncleaneſſe; dGen. 12. 13.Abrahams and e& 26. 7.Iſaakes diſſimulation; f& 37. 34, 35.Iaakobs and g2 Sam. 18. 33.Dauids exceſſiue lamentation, &c.
Some of theſe latter, which may ſeeme moſt heinous and odious ſinnes, are then to be accounted infirmities, when they who commit them make not a ſport of them, nor delight to liue and lie in them, as ſwine to wallow and lie in the mire: but only at ſome times, through ſome temptation, as it were vnawares, fall into them; and after they are committed they are themſelues more aſhamed of them, and more grieued for them, then any other that ſee them, or heare of them.
In regard of the naturall infirmities of parents, the dutie of children is both to beare with them, and alſo to couer them ſo farre as they can.
§. 41. Of childrens bearing with their parents infirmities.
Children beare with their parents infirmities when they doe not the leſſe reuerendly eſteeme their place, or perſon, nor performe the leſſe dutie to them becauſe of their infirmities.
This is the firſt particular branch of recompence. For children in their yonger and weaker yeares are ſubiect to many infirmities: if parents had the leſſe reſpected them for their infirmities, and from thence had taken occaſion to neglect them, and would not hauehave borne with them, ſurely they could not hauehave beene ſo well brought vp. That great patience, long-ſufferance, and much forbearance which parents hauehave ſhewed towards their children, requireth that children in way of recompence ſhew the like to their parents as occaſion is offered. It was a great infirmity in Iſaak to preferre Eſau a prophane childe, before Iaakob a religious childe, eſpecially againſt Gods expreſſe word concerning Iaakob; yet Iaakob reſpected not his father a whit the leſſe for it, as appeares by his aGen. 27. 12.feare to offend him, and by his b& 28. 5.readineſſe to obey him. c& 37. 10.Iaakobs vniuſt reproofe of Ioſeph was no ſmall infirmity, and yet how much Ioſeph reuerenced and eueryevery way reſpected his father the hiſtory following ſheweth. Sauls infirmities were farre more and much greater then any of theirs, yet what dutie and faithfulneſſe did Ionathan his ſonne performe to him, euen to their deaths? for d1 Sam. 31. 2.he died with him.
We hauehave herein the patterne of Chriſt himſelfe: how great infirmity did his mother bewray, when ouer-raſhly ſhe rebuked him being about a good worke, a bounden duty, his Fathers buſineſſe? yet immediatly thereupon it is noted that he went downe with his parents, and was ſubiect to them: which Luk. 2. 51.manifeſteth the honour he gaue to his mother, notwithſtanding her infirmitie.
Contrary to this duty doe they, who take occaſion from their parents infirmities to thinke baſely of their perſon and A childe may not diſpiſe a parent for any infirmity.their place, and thereupon grow careleſſe in duty, either refuſing to doe any duty at all, or elſe doing it careleſly, grudgingly, diſdainefully, and ſcornefully. Abſolom made a ſuppoſed infirmity of his father the ground of his rebellion. Had 2 Sam. 15. 3.his pretence beene true, yet had it not beene a ſufficient cauſe for him to diſgrace, and riſe againſt his father, as he did. The law that threatneth Gods vengeance againſt ſuch children as mocke at their father, or deſpiſe to obey their mother, maketh Pro. 30. 17.no exception of parents infirmities.
§. 42. Of childrens couering their parents infirmities.
Children couer their parents infirmities both by paſſing by them (as we ſpeake) and taking no notice of them, and alſo by concealing them from others as much as they can. The Scripture noteth it to be a property of louelove to couer a multitude 1 Pet. 4. 8.of ſinnes: now in whom ſhould louelove abound, if not in children? And who ſhould more manifeſt this property of louelove then children?
Of paſſing by and concealing from others a parents infirmity, we hauehave a worthy patterne in Shem and Iaphet: when Noah their father being drunken lay vncouered in the midſt of his tent, they went backward (that they might not themſelues Gen. 9. 23.ſee their fathers infirmity) and couered his nakedneſſe (that others might not ſee it.) The bleſſing which vponupon this occaſion was then promiſed to them and their poſterity, ſheweth how acceptable this dutie was to God.
Contrary was Chams practiſe, who diſcouered, and made A Sinne for a childe to diſcouer a parents infirmity.knowne his fathers nakedneſſe. The curſe thereupon denounced againſt him, ſheweth how odious that ſinne was vntounto God. Too many there be of Chams curſed brood, who blaze abroad their parents infirmities, and make ſuch things knowne of them, Gen. 9. 22. Verſ. 25.as otherwiſe would not be knowne: whereby they bring much diſhonour and ſhame vponupon their parents (which can be no honour Parent is imprecatione nihil pernicioſius excogitari poteſt. Plato de Leg. lib. 11.to the children,) and withall a curſe from their parents on themſelues, which the heathen accounted very dreadfull.
More contrary was Abſoloms practiſe, who raiſed a moſt malicious ſlander of his father, and thereby alienated his ſubiects hearts from him. Too many Abſolom-like ſeeke to raiſe a ſuppoſed More then monſtrous for a childe to raiſe a ſlander of a parent.reputation and honour to themſelues by vilifying and diſgracing their parents: but let them note Abſoloms end. Aſſuredly, if they hold on in that courſe, the like, or a worſe, ſhall be their end.
§. 43. Of childrens bearing with their parents caſuall neceſſities.2 Sam. 15. 3.
Caſuall extremities, are all manner of croſſes which by the prouidence of God are laid vponupon a man: whether vponupon his bodie, as blindneſſe, lameneſſe, ſickneſſe, &c. or on his perſon, as captiuitie, baniſhment, impriſonment, &c. or on his eſtate, as pouerrie, penurie, &c. In all theſe, children muſt beare with their parents, as in the forenamed infirmities; neither leſſe reuerendly eſteeme of them, nor performe the leſſe dutie becauſe of them. Theſe are ſuch neceſſities, as are not ſinfull in themſelues; and therefore in regard of theſe, parents are much more to be borne withall. Though Iſaak were blinde, yet did not Iaakob a whit the leſſe reſpect Gen 27. 1. Ruth 1, 16, 21.him. Though Naomi were poore, yet Ruth her daughter in law continued to doe a childs dutie and ſeruice vntounto her.
Contrary is the vnnaturall diſpoſition of ſuch children, as Vnnaturall to deſpiſe a parent for any caſuall infirmitie.take occaſion from theſe caſuall neceſſities of their parents to deſpiſe them. God hath made an expreſſe law againſt deſpiſing thoſe who are by any outward defects impotent, as deafe, blinde, &c. If no perſon may deſpiſe another, for theſe, much leſſe children Leu. 19. 14.their parents. They are worſe then Cham that doe ſo, and may looke for an heauier curſe.