Of Domestical Duties, Treatise 3 · Section 1 – Section 10
§. 1. Of the generall heads of this treatiſe.
EPHES. 5. 22.
Wiues ſubmit your ſelues vntounto your owne husbands as vntounto the Lord.
Verſ. 23. For the husband is the head of the wife, euen as Chriſt is the head of the Church: and he is the Sauiour of the bodie.
Verſ. 24. Therefore as the Church is ſubject to Chriſt, ſo let wiues be ſubiect to their husbands in euerie thing.
IN the particular declaration of wiues duties, the Apoſtle noteth two points,
1. The dutie required.
2. The reaſon to enforce it.
In ſetting forth the dutie, he declareth
1. The matter wherin it conſiſteth.
2. The manner how it is to be performed.
In the matter we may note,
1. The thing required, aforeign.ſubiection.
2. The perſon whom it reſpecteth, their bforeign.owne husbands.
| The manner reſpecteth, | 1. The qualitie | of that ſubiection. |
| 2. The extent |
To declare the qualitie of wiues ſubiection to their huſbands, two rules are ſet downe.
1. That it be ſuch a ſubiection, as cAs vntounto the Lord.ſhould be performed to Chriſt.
2. That it be ſuch a ſubiection as the dAs the Church is ſubiect to Chriſt.Church performeth vntounto Chriſt.
The extent of wiues ſubiection doth ſtretch it ſelfe verie farre, euen to eforeign, In euerie thing.all things.
The reaſon to enforce all theſe points is taken from that place of eminencie and authoritie, wherein the husband is ſet aboue his wife: which is,
1. Propounded vnderunder the metaphor of an head (for the huſband is the head of the wife.)
2. Amplified by that reſemblance which therein he hath vntounto Chriſt.
In which reſemblance two points are noted.
1. That the husband, by vertue of his place, carrieth the verie image of Chriſt (euen as Chriſt is the head of the Church.)
2. That the husband by vertue of his office is a protector of his wife (and he is the ſauiour of the body.)
§. 2. Of a wiues *Treat. 4. §. 2.ſubiection in generall.
The firſt point to be handled in the treatiſe of wiues particular duties is the generall matter of all (Subiection) vnderunder which all other particulars are compriſed, for it hath as large Maritum habere Dominum meruit mulieris culpa, quod tamen niſi ſeruetur, deprauabitur ampliùs natura, & augebitur culpa. Aug. de Gen. ad lit. lib. 11. c. 37. Ante peccatum non aliter factam fuiſſe decet credere mulierem niſi vt vir ei dominaretur. Ibid.an extent as that Honour which is required in the firſt commandement, being applied to wiues. When firſt the Lord declared vntounto woman her dutie, he ſet it downe vnderunder this phraſe, Thy deſire ſhall be ſubiect to thine husband, Gen. 3. 16.
Obiect. That was a puniſhment inflicted on her for her tranſgreſſion?
Anſw. And a law too, for triall of her obedience, which if it be not obſerued, her nature will be more depraued, and her fault more increaſed. Beſides, we cannot but thinke that the woman was made before the fall, that the man might rule ouer her. VponUpon this ground the Prophets and Apoſtles hauehave oft vrged the ſame. Sarah is commended for this, that ſhe was ſubiect to her husband (1. Pet. 3. 6.) Hereby the holy Ghoſt would teach wiues, that Subiection ought to be as ſalt to ſeaſon eueryevery dutie which they performe to their husband. Their very opinion, affection, ſpeech, action, and all that concerneth the husband, muſt ſauour of ſubiection. Contrary is the diſpoſition of many wiues, whom ambition hath tainted and corrupted within and without: they cannot endure to heare of ſubiection: they imagine that they are made ſlaues thereby. But I hope partly by that which hath beene before deliuered concerning thoſe common duties which man and wife doe mutually owe each to other, and partly by the particulars which vnderunder this generall are compriſed, but moſt eſpecially Quem vocavit ad culpam mulier, iuſtum eſt vt eum gubernatorem aſſuma…, ne iterum foeminea facilitate labatur. Ambr. Hexaem. l. 5. c. 7.by the duties which the husband in particular oweth to his wife, it will euidently appeare, that this ſubiection is no ſeruitude. But were it more then it is, ſeeing God requireth ſubiection of a wife to her husband, the wife is bound to yeeld it. And good reaſon it is that ſhe who firſt drew man into ſin, ſhould be now ſubiect to him, leſt by the like womaniſh weakneſſe ſhe fall againe.
§. 3. Of an husbands *Treat. 4. §. 6, 7.ſuperioritie ouer a wife, to be acknowledged by a wife.
The ſubiection which is required of a wife to her husband implieth two things.
1. That ſhe acknowledge her husband to be her ſuperiour.
2. That ſhe reſpect him as her ſuperiour.
| That acknowledgement of the husbands ſuperioritie is twofold, | 1. Generall of any husband. |
| 2. Particular of her owne husband. |
The generall is the ground of the particular: for till a wife be informed that an husband, by vertue of his place, is his wiues ſuperiour, ſhe will not be perſwaded that her owne huſband is aboue her, or hath any authoritie ouer her.
Firſt therefore concerning the generall, I will lay downe Proofes that the husband is aboue the wifeſome euident and vndeniable proofes, to ſhew that an husband is his wiues ſuperiour, and hath authoritie ouer her. The proofes are theſe following.
1. God of whom, bRom. 13. 1.the powers that be ordained, are, hath power to place his Image in whom he will, and to whom God giueth ſuperioritie and authority, the ſame ought to be acknowledged to be due vntounto them. But God ſaid of the man to the woman, he ſhall rule ouer thee, (Gen. 3. 16.)
2. Nature hath placed an eminencie in the male ouer the Mari & foeminae ae natura tribuium eſt, vt hi, praeſit, illa obediat, cum mas praeſtantior ſit. Ariſt. Pol. lib. 1.female: ſo as where they are linked together in one yoake, it is giuen by nature that he should gouerne, ſhe obey. This did the heathen by light of nature obſerue.
3. The titles and names, whereby an husband is ſet forth, doe implie a ſuperiority and authority in him, as cforeign.Lord, (1 Pet. 3. 6.) dforeignMaſter, (Eſt. 1. 17.) eforeignGuide, (Prou. 2. 17.) fforeign.Head, (1 Cor. 11. 3.) gforeign.Image and glory of God, (1 Cor. 11. 7.)
4. The perſons whom the husband by vertue of his place, and whom the wife by vertue of her place, repreſent, moſt euidently proue as much: for an husband repreſenteth Christ, and a wife, the Church, (Eph. 5. 23.)
5. The circumſtances noted by the holy Ghoſt at the womans creation implie no leſſe, as that ſhe was created after man, for mans good, and out of mans ſide, (Gen. 2. 18, &c.)
6. The very hSicapilli pro velamine dati ſunt, qua gratia aliud addendū eſt velamen? Vt non tantum natura, ſed etiam voluntate ſubiectam ſe eſſe confiteatur. Chryſ. in 1 Cor. hom. 26.attire which nature and cuſtome of all times and places hauehave taught women to put on, confirmeth the ſame: as long haire, vailes, and other couerings ouer the head: this and the former argument doth the Apoſtle himſelfe vſe to this very purpoſe, 1 Cor. 11. 7, &c.
The point then being ſo cleere, wiues ought in conſcience to acknowledge as much: namely that an husband hath ſuperiority 1. Wiues muſt acknowledge a ſuperioritie in husbands.and authoritie ouer a wife. The acknowledgement hereof is a maine and principall dutie, and a ground of all other duties. Till a wife be fully inſtructed therein and truly perſwaded thereof, no dutie can be performed by her as it ought: for ſubiection hath relation to ſuperioritie and authoritie. The very notation of the word implieth as much. How then can ſubiection be yeelded, if husbands be not acknowledged ſuperiors? It may be forced, as one King conquered in battell by another, may be compelled to yeeld homage to the conqueror, but yet becauſe he ſtill thinketh with himſelfe, that he is no whit inferiour, he will hardly be brought willingly to yeeld a ſubiects dutie to him, but rather expect a time when he may free himſelfe and take reuenge of the conqueror.
§. 4. Of a fond conceit, that husband and wife are equall.
Contrary to the forenamed ſubiection is the opinion of many wiues, who thinke themſelues eueryevery way as good as their husbands, and no way inferiour to them.
The reaſon whereof ſeemeth to be that ſmall inequalitie Of all that are inferiours, the wife commeth neereſt to a paritic.which is betwixt the husband and the wife: for of all degrees wherein there is any difference betwixt perſon and perſon, there is the leaſt diſparitie betwixt man and wife. Though the man be as the head, yet is the woman as the heart, which is the moſt excellent part of the body next the head, farre more excellent then any other member vnderunder the head, and almoſt equall to the head in many reſpects, and as neceſſary as the head. As an euidence, that a wife is to man as the heart to the head, ſhe was at her bGen. 2. 21.firſt creation taken out of the ſide of man where his heart lieth; and though the woman was at firſt c1 Cor. 11. 12.of the man created out of his ſide, yet is the man alſo by the woman. Euer ſince the firſt creation man hath beene borne and brought forth out of the womans wombe: ſo as neither the man is without the woman, nor the woman without the man: yea, as d1 Cor. 7. 4. Cùm de pudicitia ſermonem habet, magna paritas. Chryſ. hom. 19. in 1 Cor. 7.the wife hath not power of her owne body, but the husband, ſo the husband hath not power of his owne body, but the wife. They are alſo e1 Pet. 3. 7. foreign.heires together of the grace of life. Beſides, wiues are mothers of the ſame children, whereof their husbands are fathers (for God ſaid to both, fGen. 1. 28.multiplie and increaſe) and miſtreſſes of the ſame ſeruants whereof they are maſters (for Sarah is called g& 16. 4. Obiect. Anſw.miſtreſſe) and in many other reſpects there is a common equitie betwixt husbands and wiues; whence many wiues gather that in all things there ought to be a mutuall equalitie.
But from ſome particulars to inferre a generall is a very weake argument.
1. Doth it follow, that becauſe in many things there is a common equitie betwixt Iudges of Aſſiſe, Iuſtices of peace, and Conſtables of townes, that therefore there is in all things an equalitie betwixt them?
2. In many things there is not a common equitie: for the husband may command his wife, but not ſhe him.
3. Euen in thoſe things wherein there is a common equity, there is not an equality: for the husband hath euer euen in all things a ſuperioritie: as if there be any difference euen in the forenamed inſtances, the husband muſt hauehave the ſtroake: as in giuing the name of Rachels youngeſt childe, where the wife would hauehave one name, the husband another, that name which the husband gaue, ſtood, (Gen. 35. 18.)
Though there ſeeme to be neuer ſo little diſparitie, yet God hauing ſo expreſly appointed ſubiection, it ought to be acknowledged: and hPoſſunt coniuges per charitatem ſeruire inuicem, ſed mulierem non permittit Apoſtolus dominari in virum. Aug. de Gen. ad lit. l. 11. c. 37.though husband and wife may mutually ſerue one another through louelove: yet the Apoſtle ſuffereth not a woman to rule ouer the man.
§. 5. Of a wiues acknowledgement of her *Treat. 4 §. 9.owne husbands ſuperioritie.
The truth and life of that generall acknowledgement of husbands honour, conſiſteth in the particular application therof vntounto their owne proper husbands.
The next dutie therefore is, that wiues acknowledge their All wiues muſt acknowledge their owne husbands worthy of honour.owne husbands, euen thoſe to whom by Gods prouidence they are ioyned in mariage, to be worthy of an husbands honour, and to be their ſuperiour: thus much the Apoſtle intendeth by that particle of reſtraint (bforeign. Eph. 5. 22, 24. owne) which he vſeth very often: ſo likewiſe doth c1 Pet. 3. 1, 5.S. Peter, exhorting wiues to be in ſubiection 1 Cor. 7. 2.to their owne husbands: and hereunto reſtraining the commendation of the ancient good wiues, that they were in ſubiection to their owne husbands.
Obiect. What if a man of meane place be maried to a woman of eminent place, or a ſeruant be maried to his miſtreſſe, or an aged woman to a youth, muſt ſuch a wife acknowledge ſuch an husband her ſuperiour?
Anſw. Yea verily: for in giuing her ſelfe to be his wife, and Wiues inferiour to thoſe ouer whom they were before mariage.taking him to be her husband, ſhe aduanceth him aboue herſelfe, and ſubiecteth her ſelfe vntounto him. It booteth nothing what either of them were before mariage: by vertue of the matrimoniall bond the husband is made the head of his wife, though the husband were before mariage a very begger, and of meane parentage, and the wife very wealthy and of a noble ſtocke; or though he were her prentiſe, or bondſlaue; which alſo holdeth in the caſe betwixt an aged woman and a youth: for the Scripture hath made no exception in any of thoſe caſes.
2. Obiect. But what if a man of lewd and beaſtly conditions, as a drunkard, a glutton, a profane ſwaggerer, an impious ſwearer, and blaſphemer, be maried to a wife, ſober, religious Matron, muſt ſhe account him her ſuperiour, and worthy of an husbands honour?
Anſw. Surely ſhe muſt. For the euill qualitie and diſpoſition Subiection due to huſbands of euill qualities.of his heart and life, doth not depriue a man of that ciuill honour which God hath giuen vntounto him. Though an husband in regard of euill qualities may carrie the Image of the deuill, yet in regard of his place and office he beareth the …mage of God: ſo doe Magiſtrates in the common-wealth, Miniſters in the Church, parents and maſters in the familie. Note for our preſent purpoſe, the exhortation of S. Peter to Chriſtian wiues which had infidell husbands, d1 Pet 3. 1, 2.Be in ſubiection to them: let your conuerſation be in feare. If Infidels carrie …ot the deuils Image, and are not, ſo long as they are Infidels, …aſſals of Satan, who are? yet wiues muſt be ſubiect to them, and feare them.
§. 6. Of wiues denying honour to their owne husbands.
Contrary thereunto is a very peruerſe diſpoſition in ſome A peruerſe opinion to thinke other husbands worthy of honour, and not their owne.wiues, who thinke they could better ſubiect themſelues to any husband, then their owne. Though in generall they acknowledge that an husband is his wiues ſuperiour, yet when the application commeth to themſelues they faile, and cannot be brought to yeeld, that they are their husbands inferiours. This is a vice worſe then the former. For to acknowledge no husband to be ſuperiour ouer his wife, but to thinke man and wife in all things equall, may proceed from ignorance of hinde, and error of iudgement. But for a wife who knoweth and acknowledgeth the generall, that an husband is aboue his wife, to imagine that ſhe her ſelfe is not inferiour to her huſband, ariſeth from monſtrous ſelfe-conceit, and intolerable …rrogancy, as if ſhe her ſelfe were aboue her owne ſex, and …ore then a woman.
Contrary alſo is the practiſe of ſuch *See Treat. 2. part. 1. §. 9.women, as purpoſely …ary men of farre lower ranke then themſelues, for this very end, that they may rule ouer their owne husbands: and of others who being *See Ibid.aged, for that end mary youths, if not very boyes. A minde and practiſe very vnſeemely, and cleaneth warting Gods ordinance. But let them thinke of ruling Indecens eſt vt mulier magiſtra viri fiat. Orig. in Iſa. hom. 7.what they liſt, the truth is, that they make themſelues ſubiects both by Gods law and mans: of which ſubiection ſuch wiues doe oft feele the heauieſt burden. Salomon noteth this to be one of the things for which the earth is diſquieted, when Prou. 30. 21, 22.a ſeruant reigneth. Now when can a ſeruant more dominere, then when he hath maried his miſtreſſe? As for aged women who are maried to youths, I may ſay (as in another caſe it was ſaid) woe to thee ô wife whoſe husband is a childe. Vnmeet it is Eccle. 10. 16.that an aged man ſhould be maried to a young maid, but much more vnmeet for an aged woman to be maried to a youth.
§. 7. Of a wiues *Treat. 4. §. 11inward feare of her husband.
Hitherto of a wiues acknowledgement of her husbands ſuperioritie. It followeth to ſpeake of that anſwerable reſpect which ſhe ought to beare towards him.
| A wiue-like reſpect of her huſband conſiſteth in two points: | 1. Reuerence. |
| 2. Obedience. |
| The reuerence which ſhe oweth to him is Wiue-like feare. | 1. Inward. |
| 2. Outward. |
Inward reuerence is an awfull reſpect which a wife in her heart hath of her husband, eſteeming him worthy of all honour for his place, and office ſake, becauſe he is her husband. Doubtleſſe Sarah had in her heart a reuerend reſpect and honourable eſteeme of her husband, when aGen. 18. 12.being alone, and thinking of him in her very thought ſhe gaue him this title Lord. This inward reuerence the Scripture compriſeth vnderunder this word Feare: as where our Apoſtle ſaith, bEph. 5. 33. foreign.Let the wife ſee that ſhe feare her husband: and where c1 Pet. 3. 2. foreign.S. Peter exhorteth wiues to hauehave their conuerſation in Feare. It is no ſlauiſh feare of her husband which ought to poſſeſſe the heart of a wife, dreading blowes, frownes, ſpightfull words, or the like; but ſuch an awfull reſpect of him as maketh her (to vſe the Apoſtles word) d1 Cor. 7. 34.care how ſhe may pleaſe him. This wiue-like Feare is manifeſted by two effects: one is Ioy, when ſhe giueth contentment to her husband, and obſerueth him to be pleaſed with that which ſhe doth: the other is griefe, when he is iuſtly offended and grieued, eſpecially with any thing that ſhe her ſelfe hath done.
Vnleſſe this inward reuerence and due reſpect of an huſband True feare a ground of other duties.be firſt placed in the heart of a wife, either no outward reuerence and obedience will be performed at all, or if it be performed, it will be very vnſound, only in ſhew, hypocriticall and deceitfull: ſo that as good neuer a whit as neuer the better. For according to ones inward affection and diſpoſition will the outward action and conuerſation be framed. e2 Sam. 6. 16.Michal firſt deſpiſed Dauid in her heart, and thence it followed that ſhe fUerſ. 20. How feare may be wrought in a wiues heart.vtteredmoſt vnreuerend and vile ſpeeches of him, euen to his face. Wherefore after the iudgement of a wife is rightly informed of an husbands ſuperioritie, and her will perſwaded to account her owne husband her head and guide, it is very needfull that her heart and affection be accordingly ſeaſoned with the ſalt of good reſpect, and high eſteeme, which breedeth feare: and that thus her heart may be ſeaſoned, ſhe ought oft and ſeriouſly to meditate of his place and office, and of that honour which the Lord by vertue thereof hath planted in him. And if he hauehave gifts worthie his place, as knowledge, wiſdome, pietie, temperance, louelove, and the like, ſhe ought to take notice thereof, and to thinke him worthie of double honour.
§. 8. Of a wiues baſe eſteeme of her husband.
Contrary to this inward reuerence of the heart is a baſe and wile eſteeme which many hauehave of their husbands, thinking no better of them then of other men; nay worſe then of others; deſpiſing their husbands in their heart, like Michal, of whom we heard before. This, as it is in it ſelfe a vile vice, ſo is …t a cauſe of many other vices, as of preſumption, rebellion, A baſe eſteem which wiues hauehave of their husbands, ariſethyea and of adultery it ſelfe many times: and it is alſo a maine hinderance of all dutie.
It commonly riſeth either from ſelfe-conceit (whereby wiues ouerweene their owne gifts, thinking them ſo excellent 1. From ſelfeconceit.is they need no guide or head, but are rather fit to guide and rule both their husband and all the houſhold: of which proud and preſumptuous ſpirit Iezabel ſeemeth to be, who with an audacious and impudent face ſaid to Ahab her husband, g1 King. 21. 7.Doſt thou now gouerne the kingdome of Iſrael? Up, I will giuegive thee the vineyard of Naboth. So alſo all thoſe wiues which are noted to draw away their husbands hearts from the Lord, as the wiues of h1 King. 11. 4.Salomon, i2 King. 8. 18.Iehoram, and others: which they learned of their great grandmother kGen. 3. 6.Euah:) or elſe from ſome infirmities of minde or body, or of life, which they behold in their 2. From their husbands infirmities.husbands (whence it commeth to paſſe, that many husbands who are highly honoured and greatly accounted of by others, are much deſpiſed by their wiues, becauſe their wiues alwaies conuerſing with them are priuie to ſuch infirmities as are concealed from others:) or, which is worſt of all, from vniuſt ſurmizes 3. From vniuſt ſuſpicions.and ſuſpicions, ſuſpecting many euill things of their husbands whereof they are no way guiltie, and miſinterpreting, and peruerting things well done, as l2 Sam. 6. 20.Michal peruerted Dauids holy zeale.
For redreſſe of this enormous vice, wiues ought firſt in regard How wiues may redreſſe a light eſteeme of their huſbands.of themſelues to purge out of their hearts pride, and ſelfe-conceit, thinking humbly and lowly of themſelues, and that euen in regard of their ſex and the weakneſſe thereof: and if the Lord hauehave endued them with any gift aboue the ordinary ſort of women, to note well their owne infirmities, and to lay them by their eminent gifts: thus by looking on their blacke feet, their proud-peacock-feathers may be caſt downe. Yea alſo when they behold any infirmities in their husbands, they ought to reflect their eies on their owne infirmities, which it may be are euen as many and as grieuous, if not more in number, and more hainous in their nature and kinde: at leaſt let them conſider that they are ſubiect to the ſame, if God leaue them to the ſway of their owne corruption.
Secondly, wiues ought in regard of their husbands to ſurmize no euill whereof they hauehave not ſure proofe and euidence: but rather interpret eueryevery thing in better part: and follow the rule of louelove, m1 Cor. 13. 7.which beareth all things, beleeueth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. If they note any defects of nature, and deformity of body, or any enormous and notorious vices in their husband, then ought they to turne their eies and thoughts from his perſon to his place, and from his vicious qualities to his honourable office (which is to be an husband) and this will abate that vile eſteeme which otherwiſe might be occaſioned from the forenamed meanes.
§. 9. Of *Treat. 4. §. 4.wiue-like ſobriety.
A wiues outward reuerence towards her husband is a manifeſtation of her inward due reſpect of him. Now then ſeeing A wiues outward reuerence.the intent of the heart, and inward diſpoſition cannot be diſcerned by man ſimply in it ſelfe, that the husband may know his wiues good affection towards him, it is behouefull that ſhe manifeſt the ſame by her outward reuerence.
| A wiues outward reuerence conſiſteth in her reuerend | Geſture. |
| Speech. |
For the firſt, that a reuerend geſture & carriage of her ſelfe to A wiues reuerence in her geſture.her husband, and in her husbands preſence, beſeemeth a wife, was of old implied by the vaile which the woman vſed to put on, when ſhe was brought vntounto her husband, as is noted in the aGen. 24. 65.example of Rebekah: whereunto the Apoſtle alludeth in theſe words, b1 Cor. 11. 10.the woman ought to hauehave power on her head. That couer on the womans head, as in generall it implied ſubiection, ſo in particular this kinde of ſubiection, viz. a reuerend carriage and geſture. But moſt expreſly is this dutie ſet downe by c1 Pet. 3. 1. foreign.Saint Peter who exhorteth wiues to order their conuerſation before their husbands, ſo as it be pure, with reuerence.
This reuerend conuerſation conſiſteth in a wiue-like ſobrietie, mildneſſe, courteſie, and modeſtie.
By ſobriety I meane ſuch a comely, graue, and gratious carriage, as giueth euidence to the husband that his wife reſpecteth his place & the authority which God hath giuen him. Sobriety in generall is required of all women by reaſon of their ſexe; and ſurely it doth well become them all: but much more doth it become wiues: moſt of all, in their husbands preſence. d1 Tim. 3. 11.The Apoſtle in particular enioyneth it to Deacons wiues, yet not ſo as proper vntounto them, but in a further reſpect appertaining to them not only as wiues, but as the wiues of Deacons.
Contrary to this ſobriety is lightneſſe and wantonneſſe: which vices in a wife, eſpecially before her husband, argueth little reſpect, if not a plaine contempt of him.
Obiect. Thus ſhall all delightfull familiarity betwixt huſband and wife be taken away.
Anſw. Though the forenamed ſobriety be oppoſed to lightneſſe Difference betwixt wantonneſſe and familiarity.and wantonneſſe, yet not to matrimoniall familiarity: which is ſo farre permitted to man and wife, as if any other man and woman ſhould ſo behaue themſelues one towards another as an husband and wife lawfully may, it might iuſtly be counted lightneſſe and ſinne: inſtance the example of Iſaak and Rebekah, who ſo ſported together, as Abimelech, Gen. 26. 8, 9.knowing them to be ſuch as feared God, gathered by that ſporting that they were man and wife: for he thought that otherwiſe they would not hauehave beene ſo familiar together.
*See Treat. 4. §. 42.This familiarity argueth both liking and louelove: and ſheweth that the man and wife delight in one anothers perſon. But the lightneſſe here condemned in a wife, is not ſo much a mutuall familiarity with her husband by his good liking, as a wanton dallying with others to his griefe and diſgrace.
§. 10. Of *Treat. 4. §. 13, 22.wiue-like mildneſſe.
Mildneſſe in a wife hath reſpect alſo to the ordering of her countenance, geſture, and whole cariage before her husband, whereby ſhe manifeſteth a pleaſingneſſe to him, and a contentedneſſe and willingneſſe to be vnderunder him and ruled by him. Excellently is this ſet forth in the ſpouſe of Chriſt whoſe eies are ſaid to be as doues eies, her lips to drop as honie combs, and Cant. 4. & 6. & 7.ſhe her ſelfe eueryevery way pleaſant: whereupon it is noted that ſhe appeared to her husband as the bright morning, and that his heart was wounded with her. Aſſuredly the cleere skie is not more pleaſant in time of harueſt, then a milde and amiable countenance and carriage of a wife in her husbands preſence. Is cui leonum cura commiſſa eſt, blanda manu, mollique verborum ſono permulſos domat. Greg. Naz. ad Olymp.And though her husband ſhould be of an harſh and cruell diſpoſition, yet by this means might he be made meeke and gentle. For the keepers of Lions are ſaid to bring them to ſome tameneſſe by handling them gently and ſpeaking to them fairely.
Contrary to this mildneſſe is a frowning brow, a lowring eie, a ſullen looke, a powting lip, a ſwelling face, a deriding mouth, a ſcornefull caſt of the armes and hands, a diſdainfull turning of this ſide and that ſide of the body, and a fretfull flinging out of her husbands preſence: all which and other like contemptuous geſtures are as thicke clouds ouerſpreading the heauens in a Summers day, which make it very vncomfortable. They oft ſtirre vp much paſſion in the man, and bring much miſchiefe vponupon the wife her ſelfe.