A Sovereign Antidote for Recovery of Souls, Part 2
The Blemiſh of Government, the Shame of Religion, the Diſgrace of Mankind; or a Charge drawn up againſt Drunkards, and preſented to his Majeſty, in the name of all the ſober Party in the three Nations. Humbly craving, that they may be kept alone by themſelves from infecting others; compelled to work and earn what they conſume: And that none may be ſuffered to ſell Drink, who ſhall either Swear, or be Drunk themſelves, or ſuffer Others within their Wals.
1. BRANCH of the Charge.
THat as the Baſilisk is chief of Serpents: ſo of ſinners, the Drunkard is chief. That Drunkenneſs is of ſins the Queen: as the Gowt is of diſeaſes: even the root of all evil, the rot of all good. A ſin which turns a man wholly into ſin. That all ſins, all beaſt-like, all ſerpentine qualities meet in a Drunkard, as rivers in the ſea: and that it were far better to be a Toad, or a Serpent, then a Drunkard. That the Drunkard is like Ahab, who ſold himſelf to work wickedneſs. That he wholly dedicates, reſigns, ſurrenders, and gives himſelf up to ſerve ſin and Satan. That his only employment is to drink, drab, quarrel, ſwear, curſe, ſcoff, ſlander and ſeduce: as if to ſin were his Trade, and he could do nothing elſe; like the Devil, who was a ſinner from the beginning, a ſinner to the end. That theſe ſons of Belial, are all for the belly: for to drink God out of their hearts, health out of their bodies, wit out of their heads, ſtrength out of their joynts, all the money out of their purſes, all the drink out of the Brewers barrels, wife and children out of doors, the houſe out at windows, the Land out of quiet, plenty out of the Nation, is all their buſineſs. In vvhichwhich their ſwiniſh ſwilling, they reſemble ſo many frogs in a puddle, or water-ſnakes in a pond: for their vvhole exerciſe, yea, Religion, is to drink; they even drown themſelves on the dry land. That they drink more ſpirits in one night, then their fleſh and brains be worth. That more is thrown out of one ſwines noſe, and mouth, and guts, then vvould maintain five ſufficient families.
2. Br. That it is not to be imagined, vvhat all the Drunkards in one Shire or County do devour, and vvorſe then throvv away in one year: vvhen it hath been knovvn (if vve may give credit to Authours, and the Oaths of others) that two and thirty in one cluſter have made themſelves drunk; that ſix and thirty have drank themſelves dead in the place, vvith carovvſing of healths; that at one Supper, one and forty have killed themſelves, vvith ſtriving for the conqueſt: that two have drank each of them a peck at a draught: that four men have drank four gallons of vvine at a ſitting: that one man hath drank two gallons of vvine; and two more, three gallons of vvine a piece at a time: that one Drunkard in a fevv hours, drank four gallons of vvine: that four ancient men drank as many cups of vvine at one ſitting, as they had lived years, vvhichwhich vvas in all three hundred cups of vvine amongſt four men: and laſtly, that three women came into a Tavern in Fleet-ſtreet (vvhen I vvas a boy, take it upon Claptons Oath and credit, vvho drevv the Wine) and drank forty nine quarts of Sack; tvvo of them ſixteen a piece, & the third to get the victory, ſeventeen quarts of Sack. Which being ſo, vvhat may the many millions of theſe ding-thrifty dearth-makers conſume in a year in all the three Nations? It is much to be feared, that as we turn the ſanctuary of life into the ſhambles of death: ſo God may ſend a famine after ſuch a ſatiety, and peſtilence after famine. Or rather, that our Land, which hath been ſo long ſick of this diſeaſe, and ſo often ſurfeted of this ſin, ſhould ſpue us all out who are the Inhabitants.
Nor need it ſeem incredible, that common drunkards ſhould drink thus: for they can diſgorge themſelves at pleaſure, by only putting their finger to their throat; and they will vomit, as if they were ſo many live Whales ſpuing up the Ocean: which done, they can drink a freſh.
Or if not ſo, yet cuſtome hath made it to paſs through them, as through a tunnel, or ſtreiner; whereby it comes out again as ſheer wine as it went in, as hath been obſerved.
Nor hath the richeſt Sherry or old Canary any more operation with them, than a cup of ſix hath with me. And no marvel! for, if Phyſick be taken too oft, it will not work like Phyſick: but nature entertains it as a friend, not as a Phyſician. Yea, poyſon by a familiar uſe becomes natural food. As Ariſtotle (in an example of a Maid, who uſed to pick ſpiders off the walls and eat them,) makes plain.
3. Br. That as Drunkards have loſt the prerogative of their Creation, and are changed (with Nebuchadnezzar, Dan. 4.16.) from men into beaſts, ſo they turn the ſanctuary of life into the ſhambles of death: yea, thouſands (when they have made up the meaſure of their wickedneſs) are taken away in Gods juſt wrath in their drink; (as it were with the weapo… in their bellies) it faring with them as it did with that Pope, whom the Devil is ſaid to have ſlain in the very inſtant of his Adultery, and carry him quick to hell, being ſuddenly ſtruck with death, as if the execution were no leſs intended to the ſoul, than to the body.
That by the Law of God in both Teſtaments; He that will not labour, ſhould not eat, Gen. 3.19. Pro. 20.4. 2 Theſ. 3.10. becauſe he robs the Common-wealth of that which is altogether as profitable as land, or treaſure. But Drunkards are not only lazie get-nothings, but they are alſo riotous ſpend-alls; and yet theſe drunken drones, theſe gut-mongers, theſe Quagmiriſts, like vagrants and vermine, do nothing all their life-long that may tend to any good, as is ſtoried of Margites, and yet devour more of the fat of the Land, than would plentifully maintain thoſe millions of poor in the Nation that are ready to fami…h. A thing not fit to be ſuffered in any Chriſtian Commo…-wealth: yea, far ſitter they were ſtoned to death, as by the Law of God they ought, Deut. 21.20, 21. ſince this might bring them to repentance; whereas now they ſpend their days in mirth, and ſuddenly they go down into hell, Job 21.13. Drunkards being thoſe ſwine whom the legion carries headlong into the Sea, or pit of perdition.
4. Br. That every hour ſeems a day, and every day a month to a drunkard, that is not ſpent in a Tap-houſe; yea, they ſeem to have nailed their ears to the door of ſome Tavern or Tap-houſe, and to have agreed with Satan, Maſter, it is good being here. That where ever the Drunkards houſe is, his dwelling is at the Ale-houſe, except all his money be ſpent, and then if his wife will fetch him home with a lanthorn, and his men with a barrow, he comes vvith as much ſence as Michals image had.
That the pot is no ſooner from their lips, but they are melancholy, and their hearts as heavy, as if a milſtone lay upon it. Or rather they are vexed like Saul, with an evil ſpirit, which nothing will drive away but drink and Tobacco. They ſo wound their conſciences with all kind of prodigious wickedneſs, and ſo exceedingly provoke God, that they are rackt in conſcience, and tortured with the very flaſhes of bell-fire. That they drink to the end only, that they may forget God, his threats & judgments; that they may drown conſcience, and put off all thoughts of death and hell; and to hearten and harden themſelves againſt all the meſſages of God, and threats of the Law: which is no other in mitigating the pangs of conſcience, than as a ſaddle of gold to a galled-horſe, or a draught of poiſon to quench a mans thirſt. That if they might have their wills, none ſhould refuſe to be drunk unpuniſhed, or be drunk unrewarded at the common charge. As how will they boaſt what they drank, and how many they conquered at ſuch a meeting, making it their only glory. That the utmoſt of a Drunkards honeſty is good-fellowſhip: that temperance and ſobriety with them is nothing but humour and ſingularity; and that they drink not for ſtrength or need, but for luſt and pride; to ſhew how full of Satan they are, and how near to ſwine.
That though theſe ſwiniſh ſwill-bowls make their gullet their god, and ſacrifice more to their god-belly, than thoſe Babylo…ians did to their god Bel, Bel and the Drago…, v. 3. yet they will ſay, yea ſwear, that they drink not for love of drink; though they love it above health, wealth, credit, child, wife, life, heaven, ſalvation, All. They no more care for wine, than Eſau did for his pottage, for which he ſold his birthright, Iſa. 56.12.
5. Br. That Drunkards are the Devils capti…es, at his command, and ready to do his will; and that he rules over, and works in them his pleaſure, 2 Tim. 2.26. Eph. 2.2. that he enters into them, and puts it into their hearts what he will have them to do, Joh. 13.2. Acts 5.3. 1 Chron. 21.1. opens their mouths, ſpeaks in and by them, Gen. 3.1, to 6. ſtretcheth out their hands, and they act as he will have them, Act. 12.1, 2. Rev. 1.10. he being their father, Gen. 3.15. Joh. 8.44. their king, Joh. 12.31. & 14.30. and their god, 2 Cor. 4.4. Eph. 2.2. And which is worſt of all, that drunkenneſs not only dulls and dams up the head and ſpirits with mud, but it beaſtiates the heart, and (being worſe than the ſting of an Aſp) poyſoneth the very ſoul and reaſon of a man, whereby the faculties and organs of repentance and reſolution are ſo corrupted and captivated, that it makes men utterly uncapable of returning, unleſs God ſhould work a greater miracle upon them, than was the creating of the whole world. Whence Auſtin compares it to the very pit of hell, out of which (when a man is once fallen into) there is no hope of redemption.
That Drunkenneſs is like ſome deſperate plague, which knows no cure. As what ſaies Baſil, Shall we ſpeak to drunkards? we had as good ſpeak to liveleſs ſtones, or ſenceleſs plants, or witleſs beaſts, as to them; for they no more believe the threats of Gods Word, than if ſome Impoſtor had ſpoken them. They will fear nothing, till they be in hell-fire; reſembling the Sodomites, who would take no warning, though they were all ſtruck blind; but perſiſted in their courſe, untill they felt fire and brimſtone about their ears, Gen. 19.11.
That there is no Waſhing theſe Black-moors white, no charming of theſe deaf Adders; blind men never bluſh; fools are never troubled in conſcience, neither are beaſts ever aſhamed of their deeds.
That a man ſhall never hear of an habituated, infatuated, incorrigible, cauterized Drunkard, that is reclaimed with age.
6. Br. That as at firſt, and before cuſtom in ſin hath hardened theſe Drunkards, they ſuffer themſelves to be transformed from men into ſwine; as Elpenor was transformed by Circes into a hog; ſo by degrees they are of ſwine transformed again into Devils, as Cadmus and his wife were into ſerpents, as palpably appears by their tempting to ſin, and drawing to perdition.
That theſe Age its for the Devil, Drunkards, practiſe nothing but the Art of d…baunching men; that to turn others into beaſts, they will make themſelves devils, wherein they have a notable dexterity, as it is admirable how they will wind men in, and draw men on by drinking firſt a health to ſuch a man, then to ſuch a woman my miſtreſs, then to every ones miſtreſs; then to ſome Lord or Lady; their Maſter, their Magiſtrate, their Captain, Commander, &c. and never ceaſe, until their brains, their wits, their tongues, their eyes, their feet, their ſenſe, and all their members fa…l them: that they will drink until they vomit up their ſhame again, like a filthy dog, or lie wallowing in their beaſtlineſs like a bru…iſh ſwine. That they think nothing too much either to do or ſpend, that they may make a ſober man a drunkard, or to drink another drunkard under the table; which is to brag how far they are become the Devils children: that in caſe they can make a ſober and religious man exceed his bounds, they will ſing and rejoyce, as in the diviſion of a ſpoil; and boaſt that they have d…eached ſobriety, and blinded the light; and ever after be a ſnuffing of this tape…, Pſal. 13.4. But what a barbarous, graceleſs, and unchriſtian-like practice is this, to make it their glory, pastime, and delight, to ſee God diſhonoured, his Spirit grieved, his Name blasphemed, his creatures abuſed, themſelves and their friends ſouls damned. Doubtleſs ſuch men have climbed the higheſt ſtep of the ladder of wickedneſs; as thinking their own ſins will not preſs them deep enough into hell, except they load themſelves with other mens; which is Devil-like indeed! whoſe aim it hath ever been, ſeeing he muſt of neceſſity be wretched, not to be wretched alone.
That as they make theſe healths ſerve as a pulley, or ſhooing-horn to draw men on to drink more, then elſe they would or ſhould do: ſo a health being once begun, they will be ſure that every one preſent ſhall pledge the ſame, in the ſame manner and meaſure, be they thirſty, or not thirſty, willing, or not willing, able, or unable: be it againſt their ſtomacks, healths, natures, judgments, hearts and conſciences, which do utterly abhor, and ſecretly condemn the ſame. That in caſe a man will not for company grievouſly ſin againſt God, wrong his own body, deſtroy his ſoul, and wilfully leap into hell-fire with them; they will hate him worſe then the hang-man; and will ſooner adventure their blood in the field, upon refuſing or croſſing their healths, then in the cauſe and quarrel of their Countrey.
7. Br. How they are ſo pernicious, that to damn their own ſouls, is the leaſt part of their miſchief; and that they draw vengeance upon thouſands, by ſeducing ſome, and giving ill example to others. That one Drunkard makes a multitude, being like the bramble, Judg. 9.15. which firſt ſet it ſelf on fire, and then fired all the Wood. Or like a malicious man ſick of the plague, that runs into the throng to diſperſe his infection: whoſe miſchief out-weighs all penalty. And this ſhews, that they not only partake of the Devils nature, but that they are very Devils in the likeneſs of men: and that the very wickedneſs of one that feareth God, is far better than the good intreaty of a Drunkard.
That with ſweet words they will tole men on to deſtruction, as we tole beaſts with fodder to the ſlaughter-houſe: And that to take away all ſuſpicion, they will ſo mollifie the ſtiffneſs of a mans prejudice, ſo temper and fit him to their own mold, that once to ſuſpect them, requires the ſpirit of diſcerning. And that withal, they ſo confirm the profeſſion of their love with oaths, proteſtations, and promiſes, that you would think, Jonathans love to David nothing to it. That theſe pernicious ſeducers, devils in the ſhape of men, have learned to handle a man ſo ſweetly, that one would think it a pleaſure to be ſeduced.
But little do they think, how they advance their own damnations, when the bloud of ſo many ſouls, as they have drawn away, will be required at their hands! For know this thou tempter, that thou doſt not more increaſe other mens wickedneſs on earth, (whether by perſwaſion, or pro…ocation, or example) than their wickedneſs ſhall increaſe thy damnation in hell, Luke 16.27, 28. Non fratres dilexit, ſed ſeipſum reſpexit. And this let me ſay to the horrour of their conſciences, that make merchandize of ſouls; that it is a queſtion when ſuch an one comes to hell, whether Judas himſelf would change torments with him.
8. Br. That the Drunkard is ſo pleaſing a murtherer, that he tickles a man to death, and makes him (like Solomons fool) die laughing. Whence it is, that many who hate their other enemies (yea, and their friends too) embrace this enemy, becauſe he kiſſeth when he betrayeth. And indeed, what fence for a piſtol charged with the bullet of friendſhip? Hence it is alſo, that thouſands have confeſt at the Gallows, I had never come to this, but for ſuch and ſuch a Drunkard. For commonly the Drunkards progreſs is, from luxury to beggery, from beggery to thievery, from the Tavern to Tyburn, from the Ale-houſe to the Gallows. Briefly, That theſe Bawds and Panders of vice breathe nothing but infection, and ſtudy nothing but their own, and other mens deſtruction. That the Drunkard is like Julian, who never did a man a good turn, but it was to damn his ſoul. That his proffers are like the Fowlers ſhrap, when he caſts meat to birds, which is not out of pity to relieve, but out of treachery to enſ…are them. Or like traps we ſet for vermine, ſeeming charitable, when they intend to kill, Jer. 5.26. And thou mayeſt anſwer theſe curſed tempters, who delight in the murther of ſouls, as the woman of Endor did Saul, 1 Sam. 28. Wherefore ſeekeſt thou to take me in a ſnare, to cauſe me to die? ver. 9.
That he is another Abſalom, who made a feaſt for Amnon, whom he meant to kill. And there is no ſubtilty like that which deceives a man, and hath thanks for the labour. For as our Saviour ſaith, Bleſſed is the man that is not offended at their ſcoffs, Mat. 11.6. So bleſſed is the man that is not taken with their wiles. For herein alone conſiſts the difference, He whom the Lord loves, ſhall be delivered from their meretricious allurements, Eccleſ. 7.26. And he whom the Lord abhors, ſhall fall into their ſnares, Pro. 22.14.
9. Br. That Taverns and Tap-houſes are the drinking-ſchools where they learn this their skill, and are trained up in this trade of tempting. For Satan does not work them to this heighth of impiety all at once, but by degrees: When cuſtom of ſin hath deaded all remorſe for ſin; as it is admirable how the ſoul that takes delight in lewdneſs, is gained upon by cuſtom. They grow up in ſin, as worldlings grow in wealth and honour. They wax worſe and worſe, ſaies the Apoſtle, 2 Tim. 3.13. they go firſt over ſhoes, then over boots, then over ſhoulders; and at length over head and ears in ſin, as ſome do in debt. Now theſe Tap-houſes are their meeting places, where they hear the Devils lectures read; the ſhops and markets where Satan drives his trade; the ſchools where they take their degrees: theſe are the Guild-hals where all ſorts of ſinners gather together, as the humours do in the ſtomach before an Ague ſit; and where is projected all the wickedneſs that breaks forth in the Nation, as our reverend Judges do find in their ſeveral Circuits.
That theſe Taverns and Ale-houſes (or rather hell-houſes) are the fountains and well-heads from whence ſpring all our miſeries and miſchiefs: theſe are the Nurſ…ries of all riot, exceſs and idleneſs, making our Land another Sodom, and furniſhing yearly our Jayls and Gallowſes. Here they ſit all day in troops, doing that in … which we have ſeen boys do in ſport; ſtand on their head, and ſhake their heels againſt heaven; where, even to hear how the Name of the Lord Jeſus is pierced, and God's Name blaſphemed, would make a dumb man ſpeak, a dead man almoſt to quake.
10. Br. That it were endleſs to repeat their vain babling, ſcurrilous jeſting, wicked talking, impious ſwearing and curſing: that when the drink hath once bit them, and ſet their tongues at liberty, their hearts come up as eaſily as ſome of their drink; yea, their limitleſs tongues do then clatter like ſo many windows looſe in the wind, and you may as ſoon perſwade a ſtone to ſpeak, as them to be ſilent: it faring with their clappers as with a ſick mans pulſe, which always beats, but ever out of order. That one Drunkard hath tongue enough for twenty men; for let but three of them be in a room, they will make a noiſe, as if all the thirty Bels in Antwerp ſteeple were rung at once: or do but paſs by the door, you would think your ſelf in the Land of Parrats. That it is the property of a drunkard to diſgorge his boſom with his ſtomack, to empty his mind with his maw: His tongue reſembles Bacchus his Liber pater, and goes like the ſayl of a Wind-mill: For as a great gale of wind whirleth the ſayls about, ſo abundance of drink whirleth his tongue about, and keeps it in continual motion. Now he rayls, now he ſcoffs, now he lies, now he ſlanders, now he ſeduces; talks bawdy, ſwears, bans, foams, and cannot be quiet, till his tongue be wormed. So that from the beginning to the end, he belcheth forth nothing, but what is as far from truth, piety, reaſon, modeſty; as that the Moon came down from heaven to viſit Mahomet: As oh! the beaſtlineſs which burns in their unchaſte and impure minds, that ſmoaks out at their polluted mouths! A man would think, that even the Devil himſelf ſhould bluſh, to hear his child ſo talk. How doth his mouth run over with falſhoods againſt both Magiſtrates, Miniſters, and Chriſtians: what ſpeaks he leſs then whoredoms, adulteries, inceſts at every word; yea, hear two or three of them talk, you would change the Lycaotians language, and ſay. Devils are come up in the likeneſs of Men.
11. Br. That at theſe places men learn to contemn Authority, as Boyes grown tall and ſtubborn, contemn the rod; here it is that they utter ſwelling and proud words againſt ſuch as are in dignity, as St. Peter, and St. Jude have it. They ſet their mouths againſt Heaven, and their tongues walk through the Earth, Pſalm 73.9. So that many a good Miniſter and Chriſtian may ſay vvith holy David, I became a ſong of the drunkards, Pſal. 69.12. And in caſe any of them have wit, here they vvill ſhew it in ſcoffing at Religion, and flouting at holineſs. From whence it is that we have ſo many Atheiſts, and ſo few Chriſtians amongſt us (notwithſtanding our ſo much means of grace) and that the Magiſtracy and Miniſtry are ſo wofully contemned by all ſorts of people.
That theſe tippling Tap-houſes are the common Quagmires of all filthineſs, where too many drawing their patrimonies through their throats, exhauſ… and laviſh out their ſubſtance, and lay plots and devices how to get more. For hence they fall, either to open courſes of violence, or ſecret miſchief, till at laſt the Jayl prepares them for the Gibbet; for likely they ſing through a Red Lattice, before they cry through a Grate.
12. Br. I ſpeak not of all, I know the calling to be good, and that there are good of that calling; (and theſe will thank me, becauſe vvhat I have ſaid, makes for their honour and profit too:) but ſure I am too many of theſe drinking houſes are the very dens and ſhops, yea, the thrones of Satan; very ſinks of ſin, which like ſo many Common-ſhores, refuſe not to welcome and incourage any, in the moſt loathſome polutions they are able to invent, and put in practice: as did you but hear, and ſee, and ſmell, and know what is done in theſe Taverns and Ale-houſes, you would wonder that the earth ſhould bear the houſes, or the Sun endure to look upon them. That leſt they ſhould not in all this, do homage enough to Satan, they not ſeldom drink their healths upon their knees, as the Heathen-witches and Sorcerers (of whom theſe have learned it) uſed to do, when they offered drink-offerings to Beelzeoub the Prince of Devils, and other their Devil-gods.
That theſe godleſs Ale-drapers, and other ſellers of drink, in entertaining into their houſes, and complying with thoſe Traytors againſt God, and in ſuffering ſo much impiety to reſt within their walls, do make themſelves guilty of all, by ſuffering the ſame, and that a fearful curſe hangs over their heads, ſo long as they remain ſuch. For if one ſin of theft, or perjury, is enough to rot the rafters, to grinde the ſtones, to level the walls and roof of any houſe vvith the ground; as it is Zech. 5.4. What are the oaths, the lies, the thefts, the whoredoms, the murthers, the damnable drunkenneſs, the numberleſs, and nameleſs abominations that are committed there. For theſe Ale-houſe-keepers are acceſſary to the drunkards ſin, and have a fearful account to give for their tolerating ſuch, ſince they might, and ought to redreſs it: ſo that their gain is moſt unjuſt, and all they have is by the ſins of the people; as Diogenes ſaid of the ſt…umpe… P…rine.
13. Br. That of all ſeducing drunkards, theſe drink-ſellers are the chief: their …hole life being nought elſe but a viciſſitude of devouring and venting, and their whole ſtudy, how to tole in cuſtomers, and then egg them on to drink: For as if drinking and tempting were their trade; they are alwayes guzling within doors, or elſe tempting at the door, where they ſpend their vacant hours, watching for a companion, as a ſpider would watch for a poor fly; or as the whoriſh woman in the Proverbs, laid wait for the young novice, until with her great craft, and flattering lips, ſhe had cauſed him to yeeld, Prov. 7.6, to 24. Though when he ſees a Drunkard, if he but hold up his finger, the other follows him into his Borough, juſt like a fool to the ſtocks, and as an Ox to the ſlaughter-houſe, having no power to withſtand the temptation. So in he goes, and there continues as one bewitch'd, or conjur'd with a ſpell; out of which he returns not, until he hath emptied his purſe of money, and his head of reaſon: while, in the mean time, his poor wife, children and ſervants want bread.
That did Sellers of drink aim at the glory of God, and good of others, as they ought, 1 Cor. 10.31. there would not be an hundredth part of the drunkards, beggars, brawls, and famiſhed-families there are: whereas now thouſands do in ſheer drink, ſpend all the cloaths on their beds and backs. As be they poor labouring men, that muſt dearly earn it before they have it, theſe Ale-houſe-keepers, theſe vice-breeders, theſe ſo…l-murtherers, will make them drink away as much in a day, as they can get in a week; ſpend twelve pence, ſooner then earn two-pence, as St. Ambroſe obſerves.
That thouſands of theſe Labouring men may be found in the very Suburbs of this City, that drink the very blood of their wives and children, who are near famiſhed, to ſatisfie the Drunkards throat, or gut, wherein they are worſe then Infidel…, or Cannibals, 1 Tim. 5.8. who again are juſtly met withall: For as if God would pay them in their own coyn, how often ſhall you ſee vermine ſucking the Drunkards blood, as faſt as he the others.
14. Br. That theſe Drunkards and Al…-drapers are always laying their heads together, plotting and conſulting how to charm and tame their poor wives, (for the Drunkard and his wife agree like the harp and the harrow) which if maids did but hear, they would rather make choice of an Ape-carrier, or a Jakes-farmers ſervant, than of one that will be drawn to the Ale-houſe. For let them take this for a Rule, He that is a tame devil abroad, will be a roaring devil at home; and he that hath begun to be a Drunkard, will ever be a Drunkard. True, they will promiſe a maid fair, and bind themſelves by an hundred oaths and pro…ſtations; and ſhe (when love hath blinded and beſotted her) will believe them; yea, promiſe her ſelf the victory, not doubting but ſhe ſhall reclaim him from his evil company; but not one of a thouſand, ſcarce one of ten thouſand that ever finds it ſo, but the contrary. For let Drunkards promiſe, yea, and purpoſe what they will; Experience ſhews, that they mend as ſowre Ale does in Summer; or as a dead hedg, which the longer it ſtands is the rottener. And how ſhould it be other, when they cannot go the length of a ſtreet, but they muſt paſs by perhaps an hundred Ale-houſes, where they ſhall be called in. And all the while they are in the drinking-ſchool, they are bound by their law of good fellowſhip to be pouring in at their mouths, or whiffing out at their noſes: one ſerving as a ſhooing-horn to the other; which makes them like rats-ban'd Rats, drink and vent, vent and drink, S…llengers round, and the ſame again. Oh that a maids fore-wit were but ſo good as her after-wi… ! then the Drunkard ſhould never have wife more to make a ſlave of, nor wives ſuch cauſe to curſe Ale-houſe-keepers, as now they have. And indeed, if I may ſpeak my thoughts, or what reaſon propounds to me, Drunkards are ſuch children and fools (to what Governours of families ought to be) that a rod is fitter for them than a wife. But of this by the way only, that maids may not ſo miſerably caſt away themſelves; for they had better be buried alive, than ſo married, as moſt poor mens wives can inform them.
15. Br. That to ſpeak to theſe Demetriuſes, that get their wealth by drinking; yea, by helping to conſume their drink, and that live only by ſin, and the ſins of the people, were to ſpeed as Paul did at Epheſus, after ſome one of them had told the reſt of their occupation. Yea, to expect amendment from ſuch, in a manner were to expect amendment from a Witch, who hath already given her ſoul to the devil. That to what hath been ſpoken of Drunkards and Drinkſellers in the particular caſes of drinking and tempting, might be added ſeventy times ſeven more of the like abominations. For the Drunkard is like ſome putrid grave, the deeper you dig, the fuller you ſhall find him both of ſtench and horror: Or like Hercules's monſter, wherein were freſh heads ſtill ariſing one after the cutting off of another. But there needs no more then this taſte, to make any wiſe man (or any that love their own ſouls) to deteſt and beware theſe Bawds and panders of vice, that breathe nothing but infection, and ſtudy nothing but their own, and other mens deſtruction. Theſe Brokers of villany, whoſe very acquaintance is deſtruction: As how can they be other then dangerouſly infectious, and desperately wicked, whoſe very mercies are cruelty?
16. Br. That I have unmasked their faces, is to infa…uate their purpoſe: that I have inveighed and declaimed againſt Drunkenneſs, is to keep men ſober; For vices true picture, makes us vice deteſt.
O that I had Dehortation anſwerable to my deteſtation of it! Only here is a diſcovery how Drunkards tempt; if you will ſee directions how to avoid their temptations, read my Sovereign Antidote againſt the contagion of evil company. Only take notice for the preſent, that the beſt way to avoid evil, is to ſhun the occaſions: Do not only ſhun Drunkenneſs, but the means to come to it; and to avoid hurt, keep thy ſelf out of ſhot; come not in drunken company, nor to drinking places: As for their love and friendſhip, conſider but whoſe Factors they are, and thou wilt ſurely hate them. Conſider what I ſay, and the Lord give you underſtanding in all things.
That (by the bleſſing of God) our children, and childrens children may loath drunkenneſs, and love ſobriety; let this be fixed to ſome place convenient in every houſe, for all to read. The Perſians, Parthians, Spartans, and Lacedemonians did the like, and found it exceeding efficacious: And Anacharſis holds it the moſt effectual means to that end.