A Christian Library, Chapter 17
CHAP. XVII:
NInthly, the next is, That as the unmerciful Miser is all for spa…ing, so his heir shall be all for wasting, He lives poorly and penuriously all his life, that he may dye rich. He walks in a shaddow (saith the Psalmist) and disquieteth …imself in vain, heaping up riches, not knowing who shall gather them, Psal. 39.6. As he hath reapt that which another sowed, so another shall thrash that which he hath reaped. He hordes up, not knowing who shall injoy it; and commonly they injoy it who lay it out as fast. He takes onelyonly the bitter, and leaves the sweet for others, perhaps those that wish him hanged, upon condition they had his means the sooner.
Or possible it is he may have children; which if he have, he loves them so much better then himself, that he will voluntarily be miserable here and hereafter, that they may be happy. He is willing to go in a thredbare coat, to starve his body, lose his credit, wound his conscience, torment his heart and minde with fears and cares; yea he can finde in his heart to damne his own soul and go to hell, that he may raise his house, leave his heir a great estate, as thinking his house and habitation shall continue for ever, even from generation to generation and call their lands by his name, as the Psalmist shews, Psalm 49.11. He is careful to provide his children portions, while he provides no portion of comfort for his own welfare, either here or hereafter. He provides for his childrens bodies, not for their souls, to shew that he begat not their souls but their bodies. He leaves a fair estate for the worser part, nothing for the estate of the better part. He desires to leave his children great rather then good, and is more ambitious to have his sons Lords on earth, then Kings in heaven. But as he that provides not for their temporal estate, is worse then an infidel, 1 Tim. 5.8. So he that provides not for their eternal estate, is little better then a devil, which yet is the cace of nine parts of the parents throughout the Land.
But observe how his children requite him again, and how God requites him in his children; for commonly they are such, as never give him thanks, nor in the least lament his loss; perhaps they mourn at his funeral, yet not for that he is dead, but because he died no sooner. Nor is it any rare thing for men to mourn for him dead, whom they would by no means have still to be alive. Yea for the most part, it is but a fashionable sorrow, which the son makes shew of at his fathers death; as having many a day wisht for that hour. A sorrow in shew onelyonly, like that of Iacobs sons when they had sold their brother Ioseph, who profest a great deal of grief for his loss, when inwardly they rejoyced. Have ye not heard of a prodigal young heir? that incouraged his companion…, with come let us drink, revel, throw the house out at windows; the man in Scarlet will pay for all; meaning his father who was a Iudge, but he adjudged the patrimony from him to one of his yonger sons more obedient; And good reason he had for it, for to give riches to the ryotous, is all one as to pour precious liquor into a seeve, that will hold no liquid substance; which occasioned the Rhodians, and Lydians, to enact several laws; that those sons which followed not their fathers in their vertues, but lived viciously, should be disinherited, and their lands given to the most vertuous of that race, not admiting any impious heir whatsoever, to inherit, as Varro well notes. But it is otherwise in this case, for (in regard of Gods curse upon this unmerciful Muckworm) if he have more sons then one, the eldest proves a prodigal, and he inherits.
Every mans own experience can tell him, that for the most part a scatterer succeeds a gatherer; one that wasts vertues faster then riches, and riches faster then any vertues can get them; one that is as excessive in spending, as the other was in scraping; for as the father choseth to fill his chests, so the son is given to satisfie his lusts. Nor could the one be more cunning at the rake, then the other will be at the pitchfork. The moneys which were formerly chested like caged birds, will wing it merrily when the young heir sets them flying. And as Cicero speaks, he roituously spends that which the father had wickedly gotten. The one would have all to keep, the other will keep nothing at all; the former gets and spends not, the latter spends and gets not. Yea the son being as greedy of expence, as the father was in scraping; he teddeth that with a fork in one year, which was not gathered with a rake in twenty. Yea how oft is that spent upon one Christmas revelling by the son, which was fourty yeers a getting by the Father? Which Diogenes well considered, for whereas he would ask of a frugal Citizen but a penny, of a Prodigal he would beg a talent, and when the party asked him what he meant, to desire so much of him and so little of others, his answer should be, Quoniam tu habes, illi habebunt; because thou hast, and they will have. I shall begg of thee but once, thy estate will so soon vanish, o… them often, yea give me now a talent, I may live to give thee a gro… And at another time, hearing that the house of a certain Prodigal was offered to sale, he said, I knew well that house was so accustomed to surfeting, and drunkenness, that ere long it would spue out the master.
Nay in all likelihood he foresees it himself; and therefore as he makes short work with his estate, so not long with his life, as knowing, that if he should live long, he must be a begger.
As seldom but he shortens his days some way; for he gives himself to all manner of vice, gluttony and drunkenness, chambering and wantonness, pride, riot, contention, &c. He even banishes civility, and gives himself over to sensuality; and such a life seldom lasts long.
They may rightly be called spend-alls, for they not onelyonly spend all they have, but themselves also; instead of quenching their thirsts, they drown both their bodies, souls and estates in drink. They will call drawer give us an Ocean, and then leave their wits rather then the wine behinde them. One cryes to his fellow do me reason; but the drink answers, I will leave thee no reason, no not so much as a beast hath; for these Nabals cannot abound, but they must be drunk and surfet They have not onelyonly cast off Religion that should make them good men; but even reason that should make them men; And saving only on the Sea, they live without all compass; as a ship on the water, so they on the land reel too and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, Psal. 107.27.
All their felicity is in a Tavern, or brothell house, where harlots and sicophants rifle their estates, and then send them to robbe, or teach them how to cheat or borrow, which is all one, for to pay they never mean, and prodigallity drives them to repair their too great lavishness in one thing, by too great covetousness and injustice in another. The greatest mispenders for the most part, are constrained to be as great misgetters that they may feed one vice with another.
Now as if they had been bred among Bears, they know no other dialect then roaring, swearing and banning. It is the tongue or language of hell they speak; as men learn before hand the language of that Country whether they mean to travel.
By wine and surfetings they pour out their whole estates into the… bellies. The father went to the devil one way, and the son will follo… him another; and because he hath chosen the smoother way, he mak… the more hast. The father cannot finde in his heart to put a good morsel into his belly, but lives on roots, that his prodigal heir may feed … Phesants; he drinks water, that his son may drink wine, and that … drunkenness. The one dares not eat an egge, least he should lose a chicken, and goes to hell with whay and carrots, the other follows after with Canary, Partridges, and Potatoes ▪
These are Epicures indeed, placing Paradise in their throats, and …aven in their guts; their shrine is their Kitchin, their Priest ▪ is their …ok their Altar is their table, and their belly is their God. By wine …d surfeiting, they pour out their whole estates into their bellies; yet nevertheles complain against nature for making their necks so …rt.
Aristippus gave to the value of sixteen shillings for a Patridge; his clownish neighbor told him, he held it too dear at two pence. Why, quoth Aristippus, I esteem less of a pound, then thou dost of a penny: the same in effect sayes the prodigal son, to his penurious father; for how else could he so soon bring a noble to nine pence, an inheritance of a thousand pounds per ann…m, to an annuity of five hundred shillings? besides, the one obtains a thousand pounds with more ease, then the other did a thousand pence; and by how much the less he esteems of money, by so much the more noble and better man he esteems himself, and his father the more base; and hereupon he scorns any calling, and must go apparelled like a Prince.
God hath inacted it as a perpetual law▪. In the sweat of thy face (beit brow or brain) shalt thou eat bread, till thou return to the earth, Gen. 3.19. And for the best Gentleman to despise honest callings (mental or manual) is a pride without wit or grace. Even gallant Absalom was a great sheep…master: the bravery and magnificence of a Courtier, must be built upon the ground of frugality. Besides, exercise is not more wholsome for the body, then it is for the minde and soul; but this vain glorious Cox-combe is all for sports and pleasure, and seldom ceases hunting after sports (as Esau for venison) untill he hath lost the blessing. But he should (O that he would) consider, that medicines are no meat to live by.
Th…n for his pride in apparel, you may know that by this; he is like the Cinamon tree, whose barke is of more worth then his body; or like the Estridge or Bird of Paradise, whose feathers are more worth then her flesh: Or some Vermine, whose case is better then her carcass. And yet this swells him so, and makes him look as big, as if the river of his blood could not be bancked within his veins; and shift his attire he must, like the Islanders of Foolianna the ficle; or that King of Mexico, who was wont to change his cloths four times a day, and never wear them again, imploying his leavings and cast suits, for his continual liberalities and rewards, and who would also have neither pot nor dish, nor any implement in his Citchen, or on his table, be brought twice before him.
Indeed he cannot shift himself out of the Mercers books, untill he hath sold the other Lordship; perhaps a dinner or supper at some Tavern, may cost him ten pounds or more; for he must pay the whole reckoning, that he may be counted the best man. Yea when the shot comes to be paid, for any man to draw in his company, is a just quarrel; and use hath …de is unpleasant to him not to spend, and yet a …a… head in the streets, does him more good, then a meals meat. He hath the Wolfe … vaine glory, and that he feeds untill himself becomes the food. Nor … it be long first, for an excessive and successive impairing, alwayes imp…teth a final dissolution. Nor hath he ever the wit to think upon spar… till he comes to the bottom of the purse, resembling Plautus that fam… comical Poet, born in Vmbria, who having spent all he had on pla… apparel, was forced for his living, to serve a Baker in turning a ha… millpunc; Like an hour-glass turned up, he never leaves running till all … out; He never looks to the bottom of his patrimony, till it be quite unravelled; and then (too late) complains that the stock of his wea… ran coarse at the fag end.
His father had too good an opinion of the world, and he too much disdaines it: onelyonly herein he speeds (as he thinks) a little the better, for that those who barked at his father like curs, faune upon him, and lick his hand like spaniels. He bestows upon his inferiors liberal gifts, thinki… it good gain to receive for it good words, and your Worship. Thus by the frequent use of substracting pounds out of hundreds, shillings out of pounds, and pence out of shillings, the end of his account proves all Cifers.
Ideness is the Coach, that brings, a man to Needam; prodigality the posthorse. His father was no mans friend but his own, and he (sayes the proverb) is no mans foe else; be he never so old, he never attaine… to the yeers of discretion; And in case providence do not take him ward, his heirs shall never be sought after. His Vessel hath three leaks a lascivoious eye, a gaming hand, a deified belly, and to content these, he can neither rule his heart, his tongue, nor his purse. He never proves his own man, till he hath no other, and then perhaps when want, or good counsel, or time hath made him see as much as his father did, at last he sues for a Room in an Almeshouse, that his father built; else when he feels want (for till then he never sees it) he complains of greatness for ingratitude; that he was not thought of when promotions were a dealing. Yet seeing there is no remedy but patience, when his last Acre lies in his purse, he projects strange things, and build… houses in the aire, having sold those on the ground.
Not that he is a man of parts, for he is onelyonly witty to wrong and u… doe himself, Ease, saith, Solomon, slayeth the foolish, and the prosperity of fools destroyeth them, Prov. 1.32.