A Christian Library, Chapter 2
CHAP. 2.
Now, as this Merciless Miser is all for sparing, so his Heir is all … wasting: He lives poorly and penuriously all his life, that he may die rich Psal. 39.6. And what comes of it? As he hath reapt that which another sowed, so another shall thrash that which he hath reaped. He hords up, … knowing who shall enjoy it; and commonly they enjoy it who lay it out a… fast. He takes only the bitter, and leaves the sweet for others, perhap… those that wish him hanged, upon condition they had his means the sooner.
Or possible it is he may have children; which if he have, he loves them so much better then himself, that he will voluntarily be miserable here and hereafter, that they may be happy. He is willing to go in a thredbare coat, to starve his body, lose his credit, wound his conscience, torment his heart and minde with fears and cares; yea he can finde in his heart to damne his own soul and go to hell, that he may raise his house, and leave his heir a great estate, as thinking his house and habitation shall continue for ever, even from generation to generation, and call their lands by his name, as the Psalmist shews, Psalm 49.11. He is careful to provide his children portions, while he provide… no portion of comfort for his own welfare, either here or hereafter. He provides for his childrens bodies, not for their souls, to shew that he begat not their souls but their bodies. He leaves a fair estate for the worser part, nothing for the estate of the better part. He desires to leave his children great rather then good, and is more ambitious to have his sons Lords on earth, then Kings in heaven. But as he that provides no… for their temporal estate, is worse then an Infidel, 1 Tim. 5.8. So he that provides not for their eternal estate, is little better then a devil, which yet is the case of nine parts of the parents throughout the Land.
But observe how his children requite him again, and how God requi…es him in his children; for commonly they are such, as never give him thanks … the least lament his Loss; perhaps they mourn at his funeral, yet … for that he i… dead, but because he died no sooner. Nor is it any ra…e … for men to mourn, for him dead, whom they would by no means have still to be alive. Yea for the most part, it is but a fashionable sor…, which the son makes shew of at his fathers death; as having many … for that hour. A sorrow in shew onelyonly, like that of Iacobs sons when the… had sold their brother Ioseph, who profest a great deal of gre… … when inwardly they rejoyced. Have ye not heard of a pre… young heir? that incouraged his companions, with, come let us … revel, throw the house out at windows; the man in Scarlet will … …cious liquor into a Seeue, that will hold no liquid substance; which occasioned the Rhodians, and Lydians, to enact several laws; that those … which followed not their fathers in their vertues, but lived viciously, …uld be disinherited, and their lands given to the most verteous of that ra…e, not admiting any impious heir whatsoever to inherit, as Varro well notes. But it is otherwise in this case, for (in regard of Gods curse upon …his unmerciful Muckworm) if he have more sons then one, the eldest …roves a prodigal, and he inherits.
Every mans own experience can tell him, that for the most part a scatterer succeeds a gatherer, one that wasts vertues faster then riches, and riches faster then any vertues can get them; one that is as excessive in spending, as the other was in scraping; for as the father chooseth to fill his chests, so the son is given to satisfie his lusts. Nor could the one be more cunning at the rake, then the other will be at the pitchfork. The moneys which were formerly chested like caged Birds, will wing it merrily when the young heir sets them flying. And as Cicero speaks, he riotously spends that which the father had as wickedly gotten. The one would have all to keep, the other will keep nothing at all; the former gets and spends not, the latter spends and gets not. Yea the son being as greedy of expence, as the father was in scraping; he teddeth that with a fork in one year, which was not gathered with a rake in twenty. Yea how oft is that spent upon one Christmas revelling by the son, which was fourty years a getting by …he Father? Which Diogenes well considered, for whereas he would ask of a frugal Citizen but a penny, of a Prodigal he would beg a talent, and when the party asked him what he meant, to desire so much of him and so little of others, his answer should be, Quoniam tu habes, ille habebunt; because thou hast, and they will have. I shall beg of thee but once, thy estate will so soon vanish, of them often: yea give me now a talent, I may live to give thee a groat. And at another time, hearing that the house of a certain Prodigall was offered to sale, he said, I knew well that house was so accustomed to surfeiting, and drunkenness, that ere long it would spue out the Master.
Nay in all likelihood he foresees it himself; and therefore as he makes short work with his estate, so not long with his life, as knowing, that if he should live long, he must be a begger.
As seldom but he shortens his days some way; for he gives himself to all manner of vice, gluttony and drunkennesse, chambering and wantonness, pride, riot, contention, &c. He even banishes civility, and gives himself over to sensuality; and such a life seldom lasts long.
They may rightly be called spend-alls, for they not onelyonly spend all they have, but themselves also, in stead of quenching their thirsts, they … both their bodies, souls and estates in Drink. They will call, … us an Ocean, and then leave their wits rather then the wine beh…nde … Religion that should make them good men; but even reason that sho… make them men; And saving only on the Sea, they live without all c… pass; as a ship on the water, so they on the land re… too and fro, and … like a drunken man, Psal. 107.27.
All their felicity is in a Tavern, or brothell-house, where harlots … sicophants rifl…e their estates, and then send them to robbe, or teach th… how to cheat or borrow, which is all one, for to pay they never mean, … prodigality drives them to repair their too great lavishnesse in one thin… by too great covetousnesse and injustice in another. The greatest mispend…s for the most part are constrained to be as great misgetters, that they may feed one vice with another.
Now as if they had been bred among Bears, they know no other dialect then roaring, swearing and banning. It is the tongue or language of hell they speak; as men learn before hand the language of that Country whether they mean to travel.
By wine and surfeting they pour out their whole estates into their bellies. The father went to the devil one way, and the son will follow him another; and because he hath chosen the smoother way, he makes the more hast. The one so loved Money, that he could nor afford himself good Drink: the other so loves good Drink, that he scornes Money. The Father cannot finde in his heart to put a good morsel into his belly, but lives on roots, that his prodigal heir may feed on Phesants; he drinks water, that his son may drink wine, and that to drunkenness. The one dares not eat an egge, lest he should lose a chicken, and goes to hell with whay and carrots, the other follows after with Canary, Partridges, and Potatoes.
These are Epecures indeed, placing Paradise in their throats, and heaven in their guts; their shrine is their Kitchin, their Priest is their Cook, their Altar is their table, and their belly is their God. By wine and surfeit…ng, they pour out their whole estates into their bellies; yet nevertheless complain against nature for making their necks so short.
Aristippus gave to the value of sixteen shillings for a Patridge; his clownish neighbour told him, he held it too dear at two pence. Why, quoth Aristippus, I esteem less of a pound, then thou dost of a penny: the same in effect sayes the prodigal son, to his penurious father; for how else could be so soon bring a noble to nine pence, an inheritance of a thousand pounds …, to an anunity of five hundred shillings? besides, the one obtains … and pounds with more ease, then the other did a thousand pence; and by … much the l…ss he esteems of money, by so much the more noble and better m…n he esteems himself, and his father the more base; and here… …he co…any calling, and must go apparelled like a Prince.
… it as a perpetual law, In the sweat of thy Face (be it …) shall thou eat bread, till thou return to the earth, Gen. 3.19. … Gentleman to dis…se honest callings (mental or manual) … … ground of frugality. Besides, exercise is not more wholesome for the … then it is for the minde and soul; but this vain glorious Coxcombe …all for sports and pleasure, and seldom ceases hunting after sports (as Esau … venison) until he hath lost the Blessing. But he should (O that he would) consider, that medicines are no meat to live by.
Then for his pride in apparel, you may know that by this; he is like the Cinamon tree, whose barke is of more worth then his body; or like the …ridge or Bird of Paradise, whose feathers are more worth then her flesh: Or some Vermine, whose case is better then het carcass. And yet this swells him so, and makes him look as big, as if the river of his blood could not be bancked within the channel of his veins; and shift his attire he must, like the Islanders of Foolianna the ficle; or that King of Mexico, who was won… to change his cloths four times a day, and never wear them again, imploying his leavings and cast suits, for his continual liberalities and rewards, and who would also have neither pot nor dish, nor any implement in his Kitchin, or on his Table, be brought twice before him.
Indeed he cannot shift himself out of the Mercers books, until he hath sold the other Farm or Lordship; perhaps a dinner or supper at some Tavern, may cost him ten pounds or more; for he must pay the whole reckoning, that he may be counted the best man. Yea when the shot comes to be paid, for any man to draw in his company, is a just quarrel, and use hath made it unpleasant to him not to spend, and yet a bare head in the streets, does him more good, then a meals meat. He hath the Wolfe of vaine glory, and that he feeds untill himself becomes the food. Nor can it be long, first, for an excessive and successive impairing, alwayes importeth a fin… dissolution. Nor hath he ever the wit to think upon sparing, till he comes to the bottom of the purse, resembling Plautus that famous comical Poet, born in Umbria, who having spent all he had on plaiers apparel, was forced for his living, to serve a Baker in turning a hand mill. Like an hour glass turned up, he never leaves running till all be out; He never looks to the bottom of his patrimony, till it be quite unravelled; and then (too late) complains that the stock of his wealth ran coarse at the fag end ▪
His father had too good an opinion of the world, and he too much … daines it: onelyonly herein he speeds (as he thinks) a little the better … that those who barked at his father like curs, faune upon him, and … hand like Spaniels. Yea the Prodigalls case is herein better then the … sers, for the Prodigal shall only have nothing hereafter; but the … man, hath nothing here nor hereafter. He bestows upon his … gifts, thinking it good gain to receive for it good words, … ship. Thus by the frequent use of subtracting pounds out of …lings out of pounds, and pence out of shillings, the end of his account … all Cyphers.
Idleness is the Coach that brings, a man to Need… … the proverb) is no mans foe else; be he never so old, he never attai… … the yeers of discretion; And in case providence do not take him w…rd ▪ … heirs shall never be sought after. His Vessel hath three leaks, a lascivi… eye, a gaming hand, a deified belly; and to content these, he can neither rule his heart, his tongue, nor his purse. He never proves his … till he hath no other, and then perhaps when want, or good counsel, … time hath made him see as much as his father did, at last he sues for a Room in an Almeshouse, that his father built; else when he feels want (for till then he never sees it) he complains of greatness for ingratitude; that he was not thought of when promotions were a d…ling. Yet seeing there is no remedy but patience, when his last Acre lies in his purse, he projects strange things, and builds houses in the aire, having sold those on the ground. Not that he is a man of parts, for he is onelyonly witty to wrong and undoe himself; Ease, saith, Solomon, slayeth the foolish, and the prosperity of fools destroyeth them, Prov. 1.32.