A Christian Library, Part 1 · Chapter 19
CHAP. XIX. That suffering is the only way to prevent suffering.
3. BEcause suffering is the only way to prevent suffering? Revenge being one of those remedies, which, not seldom, proves more grievous than the disease it selfe. When once Xantippe, the wife of Socrates, in the open street pluckt his cloak from his back; and some of his acquaintance counselled him to strike her: he answers, You say well; that while we are brawling and fighting together, every one of you may clap us on the back and cry; Hoe, well said, to it Socrates: yea well done Xantippe, the wisest of the twain. When Aristippus was asked by one in derision, where the great high friendship was become, that formerly had been be…ween him and Aeschi…es? he answers, It is asleep, but I will go and awaken it; and did so, lest their enemies should make it a matter of rejoycing. When Philip of Macedon was told that the Grecians spake evil words of him, notwithstanding he did them much good, and was withall counselled to chastise them; he answers, Your counsel is not good, for if they now speak evil of us, having done them good only; what would they then if we should do them any harm? And at another time, being counselled either to banish, or put to death one who had slandered him; he would do neither of both, saying, It was not a sufficient cause to condemn him: and for banishing, it was better not to let him stirre out of Macedoneia, where all men knew that he lyed; then to send him among strangers, who not knowing him, might admit his slanders for truth: better he speak where we are both known, then where we are both unknown. And this made Chrysippus, when one complained to him, that his friend had reproached him privately; answer, Ah, but chide him not, for then he will do as much in publike. Neglect will sooner kill an injury, than Revenge. These tonguesquibs, or crackers of the brain, will die alone, if we revive them not: the best way to have them forgotten by others, is first to forget them our selves. Yea, to contemn an enemy, is better then either to fear him, or answer him. When the Passenger gallops by, as if his fear made him speedy, the Cur followes him with open mouth and swiftnesse: let him turn to the brawling Cur, and he will be more fierce; but let him ride by in a confident neglect, and the Dog will never stir at him, or at least will soon give over and be quiet. Wherefore, when aspersed, labour as the eclipsed Moon, to keep on our motion, till we wade out of the shadow, and receive our former splendor. To vex other men, is but to prompt them how they should again vex us. Two earthen pots floating on the water, with this Inscription, If we knock, we crack; was long ago made the Emblem of England and the Low-Countreys. When two friends fall out, if one be not the wiser, they turn love into anger and passion, passion into evil words, words into blowes; and when they are fighting, a third adversary hath a fair advantage to insult over them both. As, have you not sometimes seen two neighbours, like two Cocks of the Game pick out one anothers eyes, to make the Lawyers sport; it may be kill them? As while Iudah was hot against Israel, and Israel hot against Iudah, the King of Syria smote them both. At least Sathan that common and arch enemy will have us at advantage. For as vain men delight when two Dogs, or two Cocks are a fighting, to encourage and prick them forward to the combate: Even so doth Satan deal with us; Controversies, like a pair of Cudgels, are thrown in by the Devill, and taken up by male-contents, who baste one another while he stands by and laughs. And we cannot please the Divell better: for as the Master of the Pit oft sets two Cocks to fight together, unto the death of them both; and then after mutuall conquest, suppeth perchance with the fighters bodies: Even so, saith Gregory, doth the Devill deal with men. He is an enemy that watcheth his time, and while we wound one another, he wounds and wins all our souls. Thus, like the Frog and the Mouse in the Fable; while men fight eagerly for a toy; the Kite comes (that Prince, and chief Foul that ruleth in the aire,) and snatcheth away both these great warriours. Or, like two Emmets in the mole hill of this earth, we fight for the mastery; in mean while comes the Robin-red breast and picks both up, and so devours them. But on the other side, by gentlenesse we may as much pleasure our selves. It is said of Aristides, when he perceived the open scandall which was like to arise, by reason of the contention sprung up between him and Themistocles, that he besought him mildly after this manner: Sir, we both are no mean men in this Common-wealth; our dissention will prove no small offence unto others, nor disparagement to our selves: wherefore good Themistocles, let us be at one again; and if we will needs strive, let us strive who shall excell other in vertue and love. And we read of Euclides, that when his Brother (in a variance between them) said, I would I might die if I be not revenged of thee; he answered again, Nay, let me die for it, if I perswade thee not otherwise before I have done: by which one word he presently so won his Brothers heart, that he changed his minde, and they parted friends. Milde words, and gentle behaviour may be resembled to Milk, that quencheth Wild-fire; or Oyl, that quencheth Lime which by water is kindled. And this was Davids way of overcoming, 1 Sam. 24. He whose Harp had wont to quiet Sauls frenzie, now by his kindnesse doth calm his fury, so that now he sheds tears instead of blood: here was a victory gotten, and no blow stricken. The King of Israel set bread and water before the host of the King of Syria, when he might have slain them, 2 King. 6.23. What did he lose by it? or, had he cause to repent himself? No, he did thereby so prevent succeeding quarrels, that as the Text saith, the bands of Aram came no more into the Land of Israel; so every wise Christian will do good to them that do hurt to him, yea blesse and pray for them that curse him, as our Saviour adviseth: neither is he a fool in it, for if grace comes (and nothing will procure it sooner than prayers and good examples) though before they were evil enemies; now they shall neither be evil, nor enemies. It was a witty answer of Socrates, who replied when one asked him, why he took such a mans bitter railing so patiently,; It is enough for one to be angry at a time. For if a wise man contend with a foolish man, saith Salomon, whether he be angry, or laugh, there is no rest, Prov. 29.9. whereas gentle speech appeaseth wrath, and patience bridleth the secret pratling of mockers, and blunteth the point of their reproach. Had not Gideon, Judg. 8. learned to speak fair as well as to smite, he had found work enough from the swords of Iosephs sonnes: but his good words are as victorious as his sword: his pacification of friends, better than his execution of enemies, Vers. 2, 3.
As it is not good to flatter or lye, no more is it in some cases, to speak the truth: we know the Asse and the Hound in the Fable, were both kild by the Lyon; the one for hi… slattery in commending the sweetnesse of his breath; the other for his plain dealing, when he affirmed, it had an ill savour; whereas the Fox, by pretending he could not smell, by reason of a cold he had got, saved his life.
Rage is not ingendred, but by the concurrence of cholers, which are easily produced one of another, and born at an instant. When the stone and the steel m…ets, the issue ingendred from thence is fire; whereas, the sword of anger being struck upon the soft pillow of a milde spirit, is broken. The shot of the Cannon hurts not Wool, and such like yeelding things; but that which is hard, stubborn, and resisting. He is fuller of passion than reason, that will flame at every vain tongues puff: A man that studies revenge, keeps his own wounds green and open, which otherwise would heal and do well. Anger to the soul, is like a coal on the flesh, or garment; cast it off suddenly, it doth little harm; but, let it lye, it frets deep. Wherefore saith one, their malice shall sooner cease than my unchanged patience. A small injury shall go as it comes; a great injury may dine or sup with me, but none at all shall lodge with me; for why should I vex my self, because another hath vexed me? That were to imitate the fool that would not come out of the Pound, saying, They had put him in by Law, and he he would come out again by Law: or Ahab, who because he could not have his will on Naboth, would be revenged on himself. As the mad-man tears his own hair, because he cannot come at his enemies: Or Thamar, who defiled her self, to be revenged of her Father in law Iudah. Or little children, who one while forbear their meat, if you anger them; another time, if you chance to take away but one of their gugawes, amongst many other toyes which they play withall, will throw away the rest, and then fall a puling and crying out-right: Or the Hedg-hog, which having laden himself with Nuts and fruits, if but the least Filberd chance to fall off, as he is going to disburden them in his store-house, will fling down all the rest, in a peevish humour, and beat the ground for anger, as Pliny writes: Or Dogs, which set upon the stone that hath hurt them, with such irefull teeth, that they hurt themselves more than the thrower hurt them; and feel greater smart from themselves, than from their enemy: which makes Archelaus say, it is a great evill, not to be able to suffer evill: And a worthy Divine of ours, I will rather suffer a thousand wrongs than offer one; I will suffer an hundred rather than return one; I will suffer many ere I will complain of one, and indeavour to right it by contending: for, saith he, I have ever found, that to strive with my superiour, is furious; with my equals, doubtfull; with my inferior, sordid and base; with any, full of unquietnesse. Satyrus, knowing himself cholerick ▪ and in that whirty of minde apt to transgresse; when he but suspected ill language from any, he would stop his ears with wax, lest the sense of it should cause his fierce blood to seeth in his distempered skin, And good reason; if not for wisdomes sake, yet for a mans own bodily healths sake: For the Emperour Nerva, by passionate anger got a Feaver that kild him. And the Emperour Valentinianus died by an eruption of blood through anger. And Vinceslaus King of Bohemia, in his rage of choler against his Cup-bearer, fell into a Palfie that killed him. Again, Caesar, although he could moderate his passions, having in that civil garboyl intercepted a Packet of Letters written to Pompey from his Favorites, brake them not open but burnt them immediately. And Pompey committed those Letters to the fire before he read them, wherein he expected to finde the cause of his grief. Both upon wise and mature ground, that they might not play booty against themselves, in furthering an enemies spite. And certainly if we well consider it, we shall meet with vexations enough that we cannot avoid if we would never so fain. We need not (like Cercion in Suidas) wrestle, or (with foolish Pannus) go to law with every man we meet. And yet some (as if they did delight to vex their own souls, like the Ethiopians, who, as Diodorus relates, lame themselves if their King be lame) will be very inquisitive to know what such a one said of them in private: but had they as much wit as jealousie, they would argue thus with themselves, Small injuries I would either not know, or not minde; or, knowing them, I would not know the Author; for by this I may mend my self and never malice the person.
I might go on, and shew you, that Greece and Asia were set on fire for an Apple: That, not a few have suffered a sword in their bowels, because they would not suffer the lye in their throats: As, how few of these Salamanders who are never well but when they are in the fire of contention, are long lived? Like Xenophilus, who as Pliny reports lived a hundred and five years without sicknesse: Whereas the Raven, the Elephant, the Hart and the Dove, which have no gall [Patient Christians] one of them outlive many of the other. And lastly, I might shew, that if we …uffer not here with patience, we shall suffer hereafter with grief; for the wages of anger is judgement, even the judgement of hell fire, Mat. 5.22. But two and twenty yards is enough for a piece.