Of the Childs Portion, Part 2 · Chapter 2
CHAP. II. Our inward frame of ſpirit; how, naturally, depraved.
THou muſt now take a view of thy inward frame, the frame of thy revolting heart: revolting, I ſay, from Him, who hath done all this for thee, whereof thou haſt heard; who ſummes up all things in Himſelf, being all-ſufficient, the fountain and Ocean of all our happineſſe; from Him are we parted, and to …iſternes we are come, to creature-comforts, which emptie faſter then they fill; yet, after them our hearts wander, from creature to creature (for ſo our comforts here lie ſcattered) like the Bee, from one flower to another, ſeeking fulneſſe but finding emptineſſe, for our owne findings are ſinne and death. Such a generation we are, and ſo degenerated, even from the day that we were born (for Grace makes the difference, and ſeparates, not the wombe) polluted in our owne blood, to the loathing of our perſons, and the magnifying of His grace, who regarded ſo low an eſtate, making it the object of His pitie. So here in this Chapter I can make no diviſion; for, though I am to ſpeak of a Body, which hath many members; of a Root, which puts forth many branches; yet is it but a body of death, a root of bitterneſſe. And ſo ſpirituall it is in working, ſo ſpeedy and quicke, and with ſuch conſent, and agreement alſo, that I can ſee no more reaſon to divide here, then Abraham did to divide the Birds, But them he divided bGen. 15. 10.not. It is ſufficient to ſhew this body, as in a glaſſe darkly, how filthy and lothſome it is. And for this purpoſe, we will look on the 16. Chapter of Ezechiel, which gives the cleareſt reflexion, and as fully ſheweth a man to himſelf, as any glaſſe in the world. But then the eye muſt have a property, which the outward hath not, to look inward, and to ſee its ſelf, which imployeth, it hath received an anoynting from above. But whether we have it, or have it not, (Ezek. 16.) a fit glaſſe it is to ſee our ſelves in. If we could lay our ſelves clo…e up on it, as the Prophet applyed himſelf to the child, the proud heart would fall, the haughtie looks would down. And therefore, That thou mayſt take ſhame to thy ſelf as thy juſt portion; and the more advance God, and the riches of His goodneſſe mHere is ground of cō fort, and for firme reſolution, ſaid Staupitius to Luth…r, in that you ſtand for that Doctrin, which gives All to God, to Man nothing at all: for this is according to the Truth of the Goſpel. And in ſure confidence hereof, I ſhall ſet my face…k… a fl…nt, ſaid Luther. Com. … Gal…. 1▪ 12. & ch. 2. 6.according to the doctrin of the Goſpel; (God is never exalted, till man is laid low; nor is Chriſt precious, till we are vile) Conſider thy ſelfe well, and begin there, where thou tookeſt thy beginning. There thou ſhalt finde the firſt Corner-ſtone, in thy foundation, was laid in bloody iniquities, in which thou waſt conceived; The very materialls of ſoul and body, whereof thou doſt conſiſt, were temper'd with ſinne, like the ſtone in the wall, and beame out of the timber; ſo as they cryed out, even the ſame moment thou waſt born, raſe this building, raſe it even to the ground. And the cry had been heard; and thou hadſt been ſent before this time to thy own place, but that mercy came betwixt, even the cry of that bloud, which ſpeaks better things, then the bloud of Abel. And that cry, was heard, ſo thou waſt graciouſly ſpared; and behold what riches of grace, here are ſhew'd unto thee; for, thou waſt then as wholly naked and ſtript of all goodneſſe, as thy body was being newly born; and as wholly inveſted with the worſt filthineſſe (for it is expreſſed by ſuch things, which are not comely to name) as thy body was with skin, and thy bones with fleſh.
So thou cameſt in, nTan…llus p…r, …a…us pecc…or.a very little childe, but a very great ſinner, not after the ſimilitude of Adams tranſgreſſion, for ſinne was actuall in him, breaking a Commandement; Originall in thee for thou broug…t'ſt it into the world with thee; And a world of wickedneſſe it is, defiling thy Body, & ſ…t…ing on fire, not t…in… ow… only, but the whole …ourſe of nature; …or thou ha…ſt an han… (to …ſe Mr. Boltons words) in that fire-work, which blew up all mankinde; he means in Adams tranſgreſſion (in whoſe …o…s thou waſt, as a branch in a common ſtock) which brought forth ſuch a bloudy ſea of ſinne and ſorrow into the world.
I will hold thy thoughts at the wombe, ſo may'ſt thou the better know thy ſelfe for ever after; From thence thou cam'ſt into the world, a finke, a Sodome of all filth and impuritie. Thou haſt inherent in thy bowels ſecret ſeeds, and …mbred inclinations of all ſinne. The principles of Hazaels bloudy cruelties, of Athaliahs treaſons, and I…zebels luſts; The wombe, the ſeed of all the villanies, that have been acted in the world, which Saint Paul hath ſum'd up together in his firſt chapter to the Romanes. 1 Tim. 1. 2 Tim. 3.
Thou haſt within thee the ſpawn, the ſomenter, the formative vertue of all that helliſh ſtuffe. All thoſe flouds of ungodlineſſe, have no other originall fountain, from which they iſſue, then this ſinne, thou art now taking a view off. Thy Heart is the Treaſury of all that wickedneſſe, and if the Lord ſhall rip up the foundations of thy nature, as He may and in mercy alſo, then wilt thou know I do not ſpeak parables. But if thou canſt not follow ſinne to its firſt originall (if thou could'ſt ſo do, thou would'ſt feare it more, and flie from it faſter, then Moſes from the ſerpent, for more active it is and hurtfull) if thou haſt not learnt ſo much, yet then learne now, and follow the ſtreames, they leade to the Spring-head. Know then, whatſoever vanitie, ignorance, or darkneſſe is in our minde; whatſoever ſwarmes of fooliſh thoughts, whatſoever inſenſibleneſſe in our conſcience, whatſoever diſabilitie or enmitie is in our Will; whatſoever unfaithfulneſſe oforeign. …eb. 2. 1.leaking or running out in our memory, whatever leaven or corruption in doctrine or manners; whatſoever bitterneſſe, diſſentions, wars, devouring words; To conclude, whatſoever we have found in our ſelves, or obſerved from others, to breake out of the mouth, at the eye, like the purging of a corps, now the ſoule is out; All this is but the iſſue of this body of ſinne, which thou carryeſt about thee; All that, hath no other originall fountain, from which they iſſue then this ſinne.
When we let our tongues, and eyes, and eares, looſe and at libertie, keeping no watch over the one, nor making no covenant▪ with the other; when, I ſay, we doe thus, ſet the doores, windows and all open; we then commonly excuſe our ſelves thus; That though we ſpeake merrily, yet our minde is good; And though our eyes wander, yet ou… heart walkes not after our eyes pJob 31. 7.; And though we let in vanitie by the …are, (as the wooll ſucks in water) yet we can keepe the inw…rd man cleane and pure; this is our excuſe, and we would be pardoned: But the excuſe is worſe then the fault; for we muſt know, That the tongue, the eare, and the eye (theſe doores and windows of the ſoule) The feet, and the fingers (there is a qProv. 6. 13.ſpeaking with the one, and a teaching with the other) All theſe are but as a little Comentary upon the great Text of the heart; they do but ſerve to make plaine, ſo as he that runs may read, what lewdneſſe and frowardneſſe lyes in that depth, involved there in more hid, darke and obſcure characters. Or, to uſe a plainer metaphor, and according to the ſacred Scripture; The heart is the treaſury, the ever going mint, wherein our thoughts rFabricatur. Prov. 6. 14.hammer miſchiefe. Out of that aboundance the mouth (ſo of the reſt) filleth and emptyeth it ſelfe. If there be a little vanitie upon the tongue, we muſt conclude there is much in the heart; if the eyes be full of adultery, then the meaſure of the heart *foreign.is preſſed down running over. That vanitie, which is ſhewed openly by the outward members, is but like the money a rich man carryes in his purſe, to be laid forth upon all occaſions, comparedChryſoſt. Tom. 6. Rel…g p. 597. What wickedneſſe will they ſtick at in ſ… cret, who p…ocl…ime th…ir folly openly; … ſaith Iſ…. Pel…ſit. lib. 2. p. 153. with that, which is in the bag or cheſt; there is the ſtore. The mouth is but as the ciſtern; the heart is the well, that fills it; The aboundance is in the heart, there is the treaſury: And this thou carryeſt about thee. Nay, it is within our earth, more inwrapped within our nature, then the Ivy within the wall, as faſt as with a band of Iron, and Braſſe. And it is (as was ſaid) the acting, ſinning, brooding ſinne, the fountaine and inlet of all we can call evill; The firſt matter of all our miſery; The tinder of luſt, diſpoſing us to evill, and cauſing an averſneſſe to all good: This is the treaſury, thus we have look'd into the aboundance, that is in the heart of every mothers childe: In all it doth not breake out alike, God in mercy to mankinde, and for preſervation of ſociety, reſtraining the dominion, and over-ruling it in ſome; And ſome again having received more grace, prevailing over the ſame, with the wreſtling of God; ſtrong wreſtlings ſGen. 30. 8.. But within us this aboundance is, I meane, this ſinne dwels within the beſt of men; The life thereof is prolong'd tDan. 7. 12., though the dominion is taken away. And its kingdome, (to allude to that place) is partly ſtrong and partly broken uDan. 2. 42.. And hence is that, which ever hath, and ever will make the people of God vile in their own eyes, and to loath themſelves, witneſſe their low and baſe account of themſelves; Duſt *Gen. 19. 27.and aſhes ſaith Abraham; (we may ſay that, and more, even what was ſaid of a bloudy perſecutor, we are earth mingled with bloud, and to the ſame fierceneſſe we ſhould proceed, were we not renewed or reſtrained.) xGen. 32. 10.Leſſe then the leaſt of Gods mercies, ſaid Iacob. What am I? a dog, fit to lye under the table; a dead y1 Sam. 24. 14.dog fit for the ditch; It was the loweſt expreſſion of humilitie, and we know whoſe it was. It is Thy zLam. 3. 22.mercy we are not conſum'd, ſo the Church makes her acknowledgement, when ſhe was brought even to the duſt of death: Though the Church be ſmitten to the place of Dragons, yet if it be above hell it is mercy▪ ſo ſhe accounts. Nothing, (ſaith Paul) not worthy to be accounted an Apoſtle aCor. 15 9.. And to mention but one neerer our own times, a true bAntipapas. Bright. on Rev. 2. 13.Antipas, a faithfull witneſſe, a holy-man, yet thus vile and abaſed in his own eyes, and feeling, I am as dry as a ſtone, a moſt miſerable hard-hearted man, an unthankfull ſinner; Thus ſubſcribed he his letters, Humble Iohn Bradford.
And this is the reaſon, why I would have thee, childe, look back to the rock, whence thou waſt taken, and ſtay thy thoughts there, even to humble thee, and to make thee ſee, how vile thou art, that thou mayſt exalt Chriſt. Certainly there is no ſuch ground for humiliation, that can be thought of. Search then this nature of thine, and ſearch it to the bottome; There is no quick fleſh, till we come as low in our ſearch as David did, to our conception and birth.
The plough muſt go ſo deep, as to ſtrike at that root, whereto ſinne is faſtned, elſe we ſow among thornes: Slight not ſinne here; bS. C. pag. 226."Corruption, the leſſe we ſee it, and lament it, the more it is; ſighes and groanes of the ſoule, are like the pores of the body, out of which the ſick humours ſpend and become leſſe. Here thou muſt begin thy repentance, for this ſin thou muſt be humbled, more then for actuall ſinnes; for this is the acting brooding ſinne, this, as was ſaid, is that which breeds and foments all our trouble.
"It is cSoules conflict, pag. 192.good to follow ſinne to the firſt Hold and Caſtle, which is corrupt nature; Indeed the moſt apparent diſcovery of ſinne is in the outward carriage; we ſee it in the fruit before in the root; as we ſee grace in the expreſſion before in the affection: But yet we ſhall never hate ſinne throughly, untill we conſider it in the poyſoned root, from whence it ariſeth. That, which leaſt troubles a naturall man, doth moſt of all trouble a true Chriſtian: A naturall man is ſometimes troubled with the fruit of his corruption, and the conſequents of guilt and puniſhment, that attend it, but a true-hearted Chriſtian, with corruption it ſelf; this drives him to complaine with Saint Paul: O wretched man that I am, who ſhall deliver me? not from the members only, but from this body of death.
We muſt be humbled for actuall ſinne, but that is not low enough; he that goes no lower, doth but, as if a man ſhould rub his noſe to make it leave bleeding. As in good things, the cauſe is better then the effect; ſo in ill things the cauſe is worſe. There is more heat in the furnace, then in the ſpark; more poyſon in the root, then in the branch; more bitterneſſe in the ſpring, then in the ſtreame. It is not actuall ſinne, that only or primarily defiles me, I muſt look back to my firſt originall, I was tainted in the ſpring of my Nature, that is worſe, then any of thoſe filthy ſtreames that come from it; my Nature is ſubject to break out continually upon any, upon all occaſions; pray we then, Lord ſtrike at the root, dry up the fountain in me.
"Oh, dDr. S: 8. C…p. 195. 196.if we could but one whole houre ſeriouſly think of the impure iſſue of our hearts, it would bring us down upon our knees in humiliation before God. But we can never, whilſt we live, ſee ſo throughly as we ſhould into this depth, nor yet be humbled enough for what we ſee. How ſhould it humble us, that the ſeeds of the vileſt ſinne, even of the ſinne againſt the holy-Ghoſt, is in us? And to heare of any great enormous ſinne in another man, conſidering what our own nature would proceed unto, if it were not reſtrained? we may ſee our own nature in them, as face anſwering face; If God ſhould take His Spirit from us, there is enough in us to defile a whole world.
We cannot ſee the Dregs in the bottome, before we ſee the veſſell ſhaken. Sinne may lye dormant, like a dog aſleep, for want of an occaſion to jog it, and all that while, we may keep clean, as a ſwine in a faire meadow. We know not our own hearts, till an occaſion be offer'd, nor then neither, unleſſe we plough with Gods Heifer, till His ſpirit bringeth a light to ours. I hold thee the longer at this point; Becauſe it is the maine point. The more we conſider the height, the depth, the breadth, & the length of this miſery, the more ſhal we be humbl…d in our ſelves, and magnifie the height, the depth, the breadth, and the length of Gods mercy in Chriſt. ePag. 213.The favourers of Nature, are alwayes the enemies of Grace; This, which ſome thinke and ſpeake ſo weakely, and faintly off, is a more enemy to us then the divell himſelfe; a more neere, a more reſtleſſe, a more traiterous enemy, for by intelligence with it, the divell doth us all the hurt he doth, and by it maintains forts in us againſt goodneſſe.
Therefore ſlight not ſinne here, nor thy miſery by ſinne; According to thoſe ſteps thou canſt go down into this depth of thy miſery by ſinne, thou ſhalt riſe upward again to the greatneſſe of Gods love in Chriſt, and ſo fetch happineſſe out of that depth alſo. Here it is moſt true, one depth calleth unto another depth. If every ſtep or Article in the firſt, (which is miſery by ſinne) do not more and more humble us in the ſight of our miſery; no Article in the ſecond part (which is our redemption by Chriſt) can comfort us.
Enlarge thy ſinne to the uttermoſt that thou may'ſt magnifie the grace of Chriſt. Leſſen not, mince not ſin, in hope of pardon. Little ſinne to forgive, will make Chriſt little loved. The height and depth of mercy cannot be ſounded, but by the meaſuring line of miſery.
We muſt be brought to Davids acknowledgement; fPſal. 38. & 7.There is no ſoundneſſe in this fleſh; no part of health or life in our ſinfull nature, which was moſt fully ſignified, in that, which was moſt remarkable (ſaith Mr. Ainſworth gAinſw. Levit: 13. 15. Plurimum profecit, qui ſibi plurimum diſplicere didicit. Cal. Inſt. 3 3. 20.) in the Law of Leproſie; "That quick or ſound fleſh in the ſore, ſhould be judged leproſie, and the man uncleane; whereas, if the leproſie covered all his fleſh, he was pronounced clean. Hope not then in ſmall ſinne, but in great mercy; and that it may not ſeeme ſmall (for that is the feare) think thus; Can that pollution be ſmall, which hath paſt through ſo many Iordans, yet cannot be cleanſed? Can that root be any other then a root of gall and bitterneſſe, which hath defiled all, and all parts and faculties of All? Can that Stump be ſmall, that hath thruſt out ſuch ſtrong branches, and thoſe ſo often cut, and hewed at, and yet growing again? Can any ſparke be little that comes from ſuch a Treaſury? Think on this, and think ſeriouſly, whether here be not cauſe of loathing; take it actively, that thou ſhouldſt loath thy ſelf, or paſſively, that thy perſon ſhould be loathed: Cauſe of loathing there is, & of deſpairing alſo, in thy ſelf, but not in another: Cauſe to go out of thy ſelf for mercy, no cauſe to deſpaire of mercy: A great ſinner hath a mighty Redeemer, but he wil not roul himſelf upon Him, That is mighty, till he feeles himſelf to be ſuch a ſinner as we heard, a great ſinner; which conſideration will drive the ſoule upon another rock; if we obſerve not how the Prophet pleads for mercy upon this very ground, Becauſe his ſin is great hPſal. 25. 11.. The glory of God is great in the ſalvation of great ſinners: And by putting confidence in Him, Who is mightie, we lay Glory and Majeſty upon HIm; for to thoſe words we may properly allude, iPſal. 21. 5.His glory is great in thy ſalvation, honour, and Majeſty haſt thou laid upon Him. Our thoughts are ſtraitened now, yet think we on the riches of His mercy, Who, when we were as out-caſts, to the loathing of our perſons, in the day that we were born, when we lay polluted in our own bloud, ſaid unto us at ſuch a time, as that (Ezek. 16.) Live. If we think k on this, we think on a Love, which paſſeth knowledge; on a mercy, whoſe height and depth, and breadth cannot be meaſured: but if we can ſpread it upon our ſinne, as the the Prophet himſelf upon the childe, we ſhall finde it equall to all dimenſions.
And this is the Love of Him, who gave His Sonne; and the obedience of that Sonne, who gave Him-ſelf for our ranſome, a price that cannot be valued, for it went to the worth of ſouls. And this He did, being made, as Luther ſaid well, the greateſt ſinner in the World, ſuffering what was due to ſuch a ſinner, eternall wrath; not in reſpect of its duration, for it was of a ſhort continuance; but yet eternall, in reſpect of the excellent dignitie of the perſon ſuffering, who was the eternall Sonne of God.
And this He ſuffer'd, even ſuch a weight of wrath, that He might free us from the ſame, I mean, that wrath, which is to come, which hath in it, the very life and ſpirits of wrath. The preſent wrath, though it lye heavy for ſinne, yet it is but for preſent, but the wrath to-come ſeizeth upon the ſoul, and lyeth upon it to all eternitie lOmnis peccator peccat in ſi…o aeterno.; And this is the life and ſpirit of this wrath, the thought whereof ſwallows us up, as a drop is ſwallowed in the wide Ocean. This weight He ſuffered as the greateſt ſinner, that He might ſave to the utmoſt thoſe, that come unto Him. Mark it, "for the houre may come (ſaith mDiſc. of Juſt. pag. 519.Mr. Hooker) when we ſhall think it a bleſſed thing to heare, "That, if our ſins, were the ſins of Popes and Cardinals (ours are very great, having had a clear ſunſhine of grace ſo long, & yet not walked as children of the Light) the bowels of the merciemercy of God are larger. I muſt reade his following words too, "I do not propoſe unto you a Pope with the neck of an Emperour under his feet: A Cardinall riding his horſe to the bridle, in the bloud of Saints: but a Pope or Cardinall ſorrowfull, penitent, diſrobed, ſtript not only of uſurped power; but alſo deliver'd and recalled from errour; Antichriſt converted, and lying proſtrate at the foot of Chriſt: And ſhall I think that Chriſt will ſpurn at him? No, He ſuffered to the utmoſt, that he might ſave to the utmoſt thoſe that beleeve, whom he maketh the righteouſneſſe of God; re-in…tateth in the Paradiſe, which they loſt, that there they may live ever, with their Lord, partaking with Him of an exceeding weight of glory.
And here (for the time would fail me, my underſtanding both) I would fix thy thoughts, even at this well of Salvation. On this Rock I would ſettle thee, but that my hands are too ſhort, but under the ſhadow of thy wings, my heartie deſire is that thou mayeſt truſt, and dwell for ever; then happie art thou, and for ever happie, for this Rocke is Chriſt, from Him iſſueth water of life, healing ſinne, waſhing away guilt; ſweetning ſorrow, ſwallowing up ſuch a Death (before mentioned) with all its iſſues. Chriſt, I ſay, get Him, thou haſt all, a Sea, an Ocean of good things (as Clemens cals Him:) cleave to Him, He hath ſtrength enough; enoughforeign. Protrep. p. 51. againſt all aſſaults from within, from without. He and His righteouſneſſe anſwers all, makes us firme and ſtedfaſt like an everlaſting foundation, the gates of hell, nor policie, nor ſtrength ſhall prevail: All in Him, all of Him, all from Him. And all this, as it is fully diſcovered in his Word (therefore let it be thy delight, and thy counſellour, and pray, that His Spirit ſtill would be thy Interpreter, for without Him, it is as a Book ſealed) ſo was it figured out and ſealed unto us in Baptiſme. But before I come to that Sacrament, we muſt look over what was ſaid touching our inward frame of ſpirit; Where we behold from what a dignitie we are falne, into what a depth of miſerie; That the Scripture ſpeaks not in vain, The oJ…r. 17. 9.heart is desperately wicked. It is for hardneſſe, like the nether mil-ſtone, the Rocke, the Adamant; It is in point of converſion or turning unto God, as dead as a doore-naile; as unchangeable as the ſpots of a Leopard. It is in point of that poyſon, malignity, and rage, that is in it, a Lyon, a Dogge, an Adder, a Dragon, an Aspe, a Viper; in point of uncleanneſſe, like a Leper, from head to the foot polluted. All this and much more, That we may remember and be confounded, and never open our mouth any more bEzek. 16. …., but in acknowledging our ſelves, unclean, vile, lothſome; and in magnifying the abundant treaſures of grace, and riches of mercies, in and through Chriſt, freely offered and ſecured unto us, in Baptiſme, which now comes to be treated of, &c.