Remains, Preface · Part 1
WADSWORTH's Remains: BEING A COLLECTION Of ſome few MEDITATIONS With reſpect to the LORDS SUPPER.
Three Pious LETTERS when a young Student at Cambridg.
Two Practical SERMONS, much deſired by the Hearers.
Several Sacred Poems and private Ejaculations.
By that late Eminent Miniſter of the Goſpel, Mr. THOMAS WADSWORTH.
With a PREFACE containing ſeveral Remarkables of his Holy LIFE and DEATH, from his own Note-book, and thoſe that knew him beſt.
Heb. 13.7. Remember them which have the rule over you, [or are the guides to you] who have ſpoken unto you the word of God: whoſe faith follow, conſidering the end of their converſation.
Aliud eſt locis communibus laudare defunctum; aliud deſuncti proprias narrare virtutes. Hieronim…s in vitâ Hilarionis.
LONDON, Printed for Tho. Parkhurſt at the Bible and Three Crowns in Cheapſide near Mercers-Chappel, 1680.
THE CONTENTS OF THE PREFACE.
THE Introduction, Sect. 1. His Birth and Youth, Sect. 2, 3. His Life at the Ʋniverſity, Sect. 4. His thankefulneſs to God, and reſolution from experience, Sect. 5 His experimentally differencing 'twixt carnal and ſpiritual love and joy, Sect. 6, 7 8, 9. His experience upon the diſcovery of the Divine Majeſty, Sect. 10. His check to the lightneſs of his ſpirit, Sect. 11. Obſervation about doubting and examining Chriſtians, Sect. 12, 13. About a multitude of ſins, Sect. 14. About Security, Sect. 15. Mortification. Sect. 16, 17. Riſing of pride in the heart, Sect. 18. Living above Duties, Sect. 19. About a dull and dead ſtate, Sect. 20. And enjoyments, Sect. 21. Concerning ſelf-abaſement, and the exerciſe of humility in ſpeaking, Sect. 22. And the ſhunning of pride, Sect. 23. The frame of his ſpirit in prayer, with ſome ſpecial caſes about prayer, Sect. 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29. About raiſedneſs and dejection, removing Objections, Sect. 30, 31. About carnal reaſonings, and Satans ſuggeſtions Sect. 32. 33. Of Gods love in outward mercies and waiting, Sect. 34. Of not meeting God in Ordinances, Sect. 35. Of mourning for others ſins, and praying for mortification of a particular corruption. Sect. 36. Of his Call to Newington, Sect. 37, 38. His obſerving the fruit of his Miniſtry, Sect. 39. His recommending Catechiſing, Sect. 40. His unwearied and ſeaſonable induſtry at, and removal from Newington, Sect. 41. His Lecturing and Preaching in London, and ejection at Laurence Poultney, Sect. 42. His holy, prudent, and cheerful converſation; with a Caſe or two about merrineſs, and tentations therein, Sect. 43, 44, 45, 46, 47. Of raiſing Chriſtian affections, Sect. 48. And outward mercies, Sect. 49. Of his Sabbath Sanctification, Sect. 50. Of his affections to, and prayers for his Relatives with thankefulneſs, Sect. 51. Of his reſpect to his people, and charity, Sect. 52. Of his Marriages and Children, Sect. 53. Of his Sickneſſes, Sect. 54. Of his laſt Sickneſs, Sect 55, 56, 57, 58, 59. His Death, Sect. 60. His Works formerly publiſhed, Sect. 61. And his Remains, with the Concluſion, Sect. 62.
SECTION I.
TO the Publication of theſe Remains of that Man of God, Mr. Thomas Wadſworth, a large Preface of his holy Life and Death would have been acceptable; but a Melchior Adam well inſtructed with materials cannot readily be found, who might in a proper ſtile give him his due. Yet as an Addition to what hath been already written by Mr. Bragge in a Sermon, and an Epiſtle to it upon his Funerals; by Mr. Baxter, and Mr. Parſons Prefactory to the two laſt Sermons he himſelf Preached to his people; it may not be amiſs to acquaint the world,
II. That he was born of honeſt Parents, Decemb. 15. 1630, in the Pariſh of Saviours, or Mary Overees Southwark. But it ſeems whiles an Infant, he had ſuch a dangerous Thruſh in his Throat, that the Milk taken into his mouth (not having a right paſſage) came out at his Noſe: and he was grown ſo weak within the mouth, that they even gave him over for dead. Yea the nurſe having him on her knee, thought to have laid him out as a dead corpſe, only ſtaid till after Dinner; in which ſpace (ſhe thinking he had expir'd with a groan) he gave a Keck; whereupon ſhe preſently put her finger into his throat, and pull'd out a core, which being remov'd, open'd a free paſſage for the breaſt-milk, in this weakneſs his Parents ſeeking God earneſtly …or his life, did dedicate him to the Miniſtry, if capable, as Hannah did her Samuel to the Lord. When his Mother (to whom he did evermore ſhew himſelf very obedient, and of whoſe tenderneſs he would ſpeak with thankfulneſs to the laſt ſome…imes towards her latter end would ſay, He had …oſt her more pains in bearing and nurſing, than any …f her other Children. He would ſay pleaſantly, …et far from any conceitedneſs (but with an hearty …cknowledgment of her motherly love and kind…eſs) Ah Mother! when you brought forth me, you …ought a great Soul into the world. They that knew him beſt, had abundant proof that he really was ſuch an one. He did timely ſhew himſelf to be an ingenious and apt Scholar in the Free-ſchool of that place of his Nativity; where the ſtrict and skilful Maſter encourag'd by his Fathers liberality, found him every way ready to receive inſtruction, till about the 10th year of his age, he was fitted for Academical Studies. When upon his Fathers frequent converſe with the Reverend and Pious Dr. Samuel Bolton, then the famous Lecturer of the Pariſh, and the worthy Maſter of Chriſt-Colledg in Cambridg, who had often examin'd him at his Fathers houſe, and found him not only very Religiouſly diſpos'd, but well accompliſht with School-learning; He was then remov'd to that Colledg under the Tutoridg of (him who was afterwards) Dr. Outram, who had a great value for him as long as he liv'd.
III. Before he went to the Ʋniverſity, he ſhew'd himſelf to be one of a tender conſcience; for when a Boy having took a fair Tulip out of anothers Garden, and given it to his Father, who ſometime after askt him where he had it? upon his Father's admonition, and his own acknowledgment of his youthful folly (as Auguſtine did his) 'twas often after a great trouble to his ſpirit, and did keep him humble and watchful. So early did he begin to ſtartle at the committing of the leaſt ſin. For on a Lords-day going into the Work-houſe in his Fathers yard, and there a little loitering, he heedleſly clapt his hand on a Tenter-hook, and tore his hand much. Whereupon he reſolv'd no more to miſ-ſpend his time on the Lords-day, but to addict himſelf wholly to the Religious Obſervance of it; which reſolution he was known to keep ſtrictly ever after both at home and abroad.
IV. When at the Ʋniverſity he made good Proficiency in that learning which might make him moſtly inſtrumental for the winning of Souls to Chriſt, that being mainly deſign'd by him in the ſervice of his generation. In order to which, we find this young Student early aſſociating with an honeſt Club of Scholars of his own and other Colledges, as were not only daily converſant in Philoſophical Exerciſes, but did frequently meet to promote the great buſineſs of real godlineſs and growth in grace; and to make experiments on their own hearts of that Religion they ſhould be called to impart to others. And it ſeems he began betimes to impart what he had received of the grace of God; for not long after he had been of the Colledg, he obſerv'd a young Scholar of good parts, and a good humour, but having nothing of real godlineſs, whom he would often ſeek and ſingle out, and talk with, to draw him off from vanity, and to engage him to mind the concerns of his precious ſoul; and as it pleaſed God in ſome ſhort time, that ſame Scholar fell ſick unto death, and upon his Death-bed ſent for this young Mr. Wadſworth (as his ſpiritual Father) to whom he declar'd he was much affected with what he had formerly ſpoken to him in his health giving him hearty thanks for the love he had ſhew'd to his ſoul, and bewailing his own folly in his formerly declining ſuch an ones company, and importuning his earneſt prayers to God with him and for him. Whereupon this early ſpiritual Father, dealt freely and moſt compaſſionately with him in farther inſtructing, and then comforting of that ſpiritual penitent, who gave good evidence that he had a true work of grace wrought upon his heart, was a new creature, and died very comfortably, to the great rejoicing of the inſtrument.
V. Whom we find in a piece of his own Journal or Note-book, Aug. 8. 1650. on a day of Thankſgiving to God, for his mercies in exalting the Throne of Chriſt in the Land, the Ʋniverſity, and Colledg to which he did then relate, recording the frame of his heart, That it was pretty ſpiritual in the former and later part of the day, but in communion of ſome choice Servants of Chriſt, whom he and his Aſſociates had invited to Supper, he was exceedingly rais'd in joy, ſo full that his mouth could not expreſs his heart, (and ſo was another of his friends then) but he obſerv'd, that the Devil did ſuggeſt to him there was much carnalneſs in his joy, which made him afraid, though ſtill he was perſuaded there was much ſpiritual joy mixt with it; for (he adds) Oh! how ſweet was the Communion of Saints to me! Truly it was ſo pleaſant that I remember I wiſht I could have always liv'd in that ſtate, and was loth to leave this company. The next day reviewing the temper of his ſpirit, he notes, he was very freely carried out for the good of Saints: Whereupon he reſolv'd, firſt to mortifie carnal joy, in which he had been before immers'd; in that he found it very deſtructive to his ſpiritual comfort; and ſecondly, to be more active for God in the company, to ſelect ſome out, and diſcourſe with them, to inflame their ſouls in love to God in Chriſt, and to the Children of God, praying for ſtrength thereunto from Heaven.
VI. The next Lords-day after, he records to the exaltation of the riches of Gods grace, That he appeared very clearly to him as a Father in Chriſt. I may truly ſay, I never found ſuch a diſcovery of the mortification of carnal joy, and carnal love, as then, when I was exceeding melted with a ſenſe of love, and with the remembrance of Gods dealings with me. Further,
VII. If any would have me diſtinguiſh 'twixt carnal love, and ſpiritual; let them firſt conſider, that ſpiritual love is carried out only to a Saint, as the image of God appears in him; now carnal love to a Saint appears when it is upon account of a ſweet diſpoſition, humility, meekneſs, and lovelineſs of body, uſually accompanied with a propenſity to laughter, and lightneſs of ſpirit; but ſpiritual love is accompanied with abundance of ſeriouſneſs of ſpirit, and compoſedneſs of mind, as I found at that time. Carnal love, and carnal joy in Saints, is a great rock againſt which they are very apt to run. You ſhall have Saints ſometimes ſo extaſied with joy, that they know not why, nor for what; and it is commonly in meltings of ſoul. 'Tis true, there may be the ſpirit there working, as he is often; and likewiſe there is the fleſh mixed with it, therefore 'tis good to conſider that rapture of St. Paul carried into the third Heavens, where were things unutterable. There was joy with an high diſcovery of God; but thou waſt joyful, and (may be) ſaweſt nothing. Whence may be this Inference:
VIII. That the more diſcovery of God and thine own nothingneſs, take them together; the joy comming in upon ſuch diſcovery is the more ſpiritual; but the leſs the diſcovery of thoſe things, the more carnality in that joy. 'Tis true, it is the common complaining of Saints, Oh I want comforts, joys, diſcoveries of love, and theſe they daily pray for; but becauſe they have them not ſo given in as they us'd to be, they wonder. Alas! they little conceive, that there is ſome luſt, ſome corruptions that they cheriſh in their boſom, which ſupplies the room of grace and comfort; and therefore note, God doth or would do thee a greater kindneſs to ſubdue thy corruption, than in giving thee in the comfort thou prayeſt for.
IX. As to carnal love, mark whether thy love to other Saints comes from diſcovery of grace in them, or from the ſweetneſs of their diſpoſitions, (for the carriage and ſweetneſs of their natural temper is excellent) and be ſure the more love doth ariſe from the ſweetneſs of their natural diſpoſitions, the more that love is carnal, becauſe ſuch is common to any carnal man.
And as to the effect, that love which ariſeth from their carriage, doth decay and flag upon more familiarity with them; but ſpiritual love decays not, yea, it increaſeth by more acquaintance. And again, ſpiritual love to Saints is accompanied with a compoſedneſs and ſerenity of ſoul; and doth not ſo much expreſs it ſelf in other outward joy, as in merrineſs of the countenance. The ſame may be ſaid of that ſpiritual love in ſoul to God; it is not ſo much carried out in joy, which is external, but in the inward man; and the more thy love is ſpiritual, and thy joy ſpiritual as to God, the more it is accompanied with a diſcovery of ſelf-emptineſs and ſelf-vileneſs; and this kind of love is maſculine, and far more durable than that love which ariſeth from the apprehenſions of Gods love, and a leſs of ſelf-vileneſs. Theſe are Truths much diſcovered to me, Aug. 12. 1650.
X. On the 14th. ſaith he: I cannot but remember, that being drawn out then (as two or three days before) for a diſcovery of the Majeſty of God, to keep me from ſin: I had ſuch a ſtrong perſuaſion ſet home upon my ſoul, that if God ſhould have anſwer'd my prayers in ſuch a meaſure as I beg'd, I ſhould not have endur'd his preſence; for that glimpſe I had then, though it was but confus'd and vail'd, it put me into a kind of fear. And I could then ſay, If God had not mixed a diſcovery of Love with Majeſty, I could not have been able to endure the ſight of his glory. Therefore it is the beſt way for a ſoul in this caſe, to beg earneſtly for a diſcovery of Love and Majeſty, leaving it to the wiſe God (who knows how to compound theſe together, for the comfort and eſtabliſhment of his Saints) to meaſure out the degrees of them. Oh! I cannot, I cannot but admire the greatneſs and goodneſs of God, and the poorneſs and meanneſs of the creature; and I can ſet my ſeal to that truth, That, They know not what to ask aright.
XI. That Afternoon going to a friend, with whom we met ſome others, who diſcours'd of the aſperſions which carnal men caſt upon our meetings, calling us, Blockheads, Sots, deſpiſers of learning, mine heart did fly out into vanity in laughing at ſuch things, which ſhould rather have drawn out my ſoul to mourning and ſighing; to conſider how my God, whom I profeſſed ſo much love to, ſhould be diſhonoured by wicked men. After which being come home, I was dead in prayer, which I lookt upon as a check to the lightneſs of my ſpirit. Yet, before I went to bed, God did as eminently raiſe me, and draw me out in meltings for that forementioned vanity, that I could not but ſay the Spirit of God helped me with ſighs and groans unutterable; for mine heart was ſo full, that I could not utter it in words. I was very much humbled, and truly I may ſay, to his honour, God did lift up my ſoul in a great meaſure above mine humiliation, ſo that I lookt upon it as nothing, but as given in upon the account of Chriſt. Oh my ſoul! Praiſe the Lord!
XII. It is very natural for young Converts to think they are never better than when doubting, and calling their ſtate in queſtion Ah! poor ſouls! let me ask you, what do you get by theſe vexatious Queſtions? If they come with power, they terrifie, and then thoſe that have them deſire heartily they might be off again, (inſtance O.) Again, what aſſurance of Gods love and comforts to your ſouls, do you get by them? If thou ſay'ſt, thereby thou ſhakeſt off ſecurity: Let me tell thee, that in ſhunning that rock, thou falleſt upon one as bad. For in cheriſhing of ſuch doubts, thou cheriſheſt unbelief. And I dare ſay, there is no ſin doth more vail that myſtery of Juſtification of God in Chriſt reconciling the world unto himſelf, than unbelief. We are to live upon Chriſt above all fears, and are not to cheriſh a doubt, any more than a temptation.
XIII. Object. But you'l ſay, What uſe ſhould we then make of the examination of our hearts?
Anſw. This ſhould be the Ʋſe: By it learn thine own miſery, that by the ſight of it, thou maiſt the more exalt Free-grace. For this is the great myſtery of the Goſpel to exalt the love and free grace of God: In order to which, mans ſelf muſt be abaſed. Now by this abaſement is not meant a ſorrowful, troubled, and vexatious temper; but ſuch an one as is joined with humility; and for tears, ſobs, and ſighs, they are but accidental, or rather a conſequent of this Humiliation and ſelf-abaſement, and not eſſential. Wherefore you ſhall obſerve, that your higheſt Chriſtians, they can live cheerily, and yet enjoy abundantly more of God, than a doubting Chriſtian. Be careful therefore of being too ſolicitous for troubles of ſpirit.
XIV. There is another miſcarriage in Saints, which keeps them from a full cloſing with Chriſt, and that is, the multitude of their ſins. If, think they, my ſins bad been but petty ſins, I could have gone to Chriſt; but they are aggravated ſins, againſt love; I have had hard thoughts of God, blaſphemous riſings of heart againſt God; (ſuch had O.) who after this manner reaſoned.
I anſwer, That thou lookeſt upon Gods pardoning of ſins with too carnal an eye, and thinkeſt that in this he is like to man, that becauſe it is hard to man who is unwilling to put up the third offence, as he hath done the firſt and ſecond, therefore it is ſo to God. Alas! this is a moſt groſs miſtake; wherefore know, as there be no degrees of hatred in God; who is infinite, ſo God is as fully angry at one ſin as at ten thouſand, and may as ſoon puniſh a man for one as for a million; becauſe he who is abſolutely perfect, admits no degrees of love or hatred. Therefore when thou lookeſt upon thy ſelf, as offending love, as ſinning againſt mercy, eye God as making the Covenant of Grace in Chriſt immediately, and to thee in Chriſt, and from that aſpect thou maiſt draw this Inference, That though I change, yet God cannot change. For the Covenant of Grace ſtands firm ſtill; for he with whom God made it (taking in that which ſome call the Covenant of Redemption) ſtands as firmly as himſelf, and ſo unmovable. Whereupon my ſtate is firm by virtue of that Covenant. Now this conſideration is very rational, for if God made his Covenant immediately with us, every time we ſhould ſin, God muſt renew his Covenant, for we ſhould lack ſtill a New Mediator; but ſaith God, I have made an everlaſting Covenant with you, which is upon the conſideration of an ever-ſtanding Chriſt.
XV. If you would know whether there be ſecurity mixed with your Faith, and your dependance upon God as for the welfare of your ſoul; 'Twill be a good way to put this Queſtion to the ſoul; Whether it could truſt God with its body in caſe of exigency? Suppoſe thou didſt want outward ſuſtinence: ſuppoſe God ſhould call thee out, to lay thy body at the ſtake for him. For this is very common to Saints, they can find in themſelves, that they do fully reſign up their ſouls to God; yet in the propoſals of ſuch caſes, they will find their faith begin to ſtagger. Wherefore if thou findeſt thy ſelf in this caſe to doubt, truſt God. And aſſure thy ſelf, that he who hath drawn out thy ſoul in dependance as for the one, will alſo do it for the other. See as to this caſe, Pſal. 78. and compare the condition of the Iſraelites to thine, and ſee whether thou couldeſt have believed God in thoſe things which they did not.
XVI. Sometimes Saints are ſtill and quiet as to the riſings of corruptions, as paſſions, viz. anger, &c. and think it is mortified becauſe it's ſtill upon applying of the ſoul to the blood of Chriſt; yet if ſo be that particular corruption do afterwards riſe again, they are apt to conclude, that ſin was not mortified.
Anſw. Yet firſt we may conclude, That mortification, and the riſing of corruption, are not wholly inconſiſtent, but may be in the ſame ſubject, in different degrees. For this is certain, that corruptions cannot be totally ſubdued in this life. If thou ſaiſt, Why may they not be totally mortified as to the riſings of them, as well as for a time? For I remember they were ſtill, as to the riſings of them for a time.
Anſw. Thou hadſt better conclude, that thou waſt blind rather as to the diſcovery of them, than that they did not at all riſe at that time. But for more narrow ſearch into this caſe, conſider, whether thy corruptions now riſing are reſiſted by thee, more than they were before; if ſo, conclude then the mortification of them. Secondly, It is not beſt in this caſe to ask the queſtion too deeply, whether they were mortified before? becauſe the Devil hereby will take advantage of the ſoul to vex it; but rather apply thy ſelf to Chriſt by new acts of faith as to the mortificationof them.
XVII. Often times ſouls are puzled in their enquiries into the mortification of corruptions, and know not what to conclude of them. For if they look upon their hearts, they find corruptions either bubling and riſing up, and impetuous; or elſe they are ſtill. If riſing, that makes againſt the mortification of them; if they riſe not, they are apt to conclude they are rather ſtill than mortified. To reſolve ſuch a ſoul, I think it is beſt for it to look upon that in the ſoul, which is oppoſite to ſin, and to examine whether there is greater love to God in him? whether he loves Saints more? and is more deſirous that his ſins ſhould be mortified than formerly? If he find theſe things in him, he may conclude that his ſins are in a greater meaſure mortified. For ſins and grace, or love to God, are like two ſcales, and if you can but diſcover that grace is higher, or your love and breathings are greater, you may conclude that ſin is lower, and mortified.
XVIII. On Saturday, Auguſt 17, 1650. He records, I was exceedingly troubled with riſings of a proud heart, and on Sabath-day in the morning I found the like accompanied with envying againſt the raiſements of other Saints, as if I would have none higher than my ſelf. Yea, and in the afternoon was exceeding troubled with lightneſs of ſpirit, ſo that I could ſcarce forbear laughing at Church, and after when I came home; for one of Trinity being with me, I was fain to leave him in the Chamber, and enter my Study, leſt I ſhould betray the nakedneſs of mine heart! Oh curſed heart! But for this ſpiritual diſtemper mine heart was ſuddenly troubled; and I had juſt ſuch a ſorrow as if I had loſt ſome outward friend, and I did exceedingly take on in mourning for my folly.
XIX. On the 22d following, I had an ingenuous melting poſſeſt my ſoul on a ſudden, reflecting upon my want of diſcovery of the love of God; theſe three or four days and the day following I was in a pretty good frame of ſpirit: Whereupon I came to conſider, if a man would know, whether he lives above all his duties; let him ſee whether or no (in a ſearch after Sanctification) he doth not lay more ſtreſs upon one duty than another; For this Souls are very apt to do, eſpecially on thoſe duties which are extraordinary. As for inſtance, if thou keepeſt a private faſt with ſome other Chriſtians, or elſe prayeſt at ſome part in the day different from the ſe… -times, or prayeſt more times a day than ordinary, either by thy ſelf, or with other Chriſtians, or ſuch times as thoſe above, praying at the Chappel; if thou doſt, it is a ſign that there is a tincture of ſelf-dependence. Therefore it is the beſt way to make an equal conſcience of them all, as for performance of them; and look on them all with the ſame eye, and ſay that thou art unprofitable in them all. And that thou maiſt attain to this temper after every duty, examine what vanity of thoughts, what formality in ſpirit thou hadſt in the doing of them, that thou maiſt ſee they are all nothing without Chriſt.
XX. What ſhould I do in a dull and dead ſtate? Anſw. (1) Double the watch over thine own heart a…d affections, it is common to ſee a ſoul dead and careleſs. (2) Labour to ſtrengthen faith in the Promiſes of Gods love, and willingneſs to receive ſouls. The Parable of the Prodigal, and that if a child a…k his father bread, will he give him a ſtone? &c. ſhould be conſider'd. (3) Make this improvement of thy preſent deadneſs, to humble thy ſoul, and ſee thine own vileneſs, that thou ſhouldſt abuſe ſuch riches of grace, as it may be thou haſt done, and by that ſin ſhouldſt cauſe that deadneſs. Take heed of ſlighting the deadneſs of your heart; if you do, you grow careleſs of Gods anger; for deadneſs is a ſign that God is angry.
XXI. What ſhould a man do in enjoyments? Anſw. It is common for ſuch ſouls preſently to grow ſo confident of themſelves, as to let go their watch; and ſo oftentimes are betray'd by their enemies. (1) Be then as earneſt for the enjoying of more of God when thou art raiſed, as thou waſt to enjoy any thing of God when thou waſt not. Let not a diſcovery of love ſtop thy breathing. Saints often ſit down here, and ſo fall back again. (2) Seek to redouble thy faith, to make it ſtronger than ever; for time will be, that thou maiſt have uſe of it. (3) Labour to humble thy ſelf under thine enjoyments. Let not the thoughts of Sonſhip dry up thine eyes, but be ſure the more of ſelf-abhorrency the more evidence of thy Sonſhip.
XXII. On Saturday the 5th, and Sabbath-day the 6th of Octob. 1650, (He records) The Lord humbled me much in the ſight of unworthy dealings with God, and I may ſay God was in me of a truth; this grace was then ſo lively in me, that I preſt it much to the company. But yet, Oh wretched heart! before I came out of the company, that night I was taken with a violent paſſion of pride and anger. Yet by this fall (I may bleſs my God) God humbled me more than I was before; yea, and it cauſed me to have more contemptible thoughts of my ſelf than ever. Whereupon we find this ſell-abaſing Chriſtian ſtudent to ſet down how he may get the victory over head-ſtrong Paſſions, when he adds: Humility of ſpirit is attainable by getting quick and ſprightful apprehenſions of ſelf weakneſs to grace, and diſcovering the evil of a carnal heart, which may be diſcern'd in ſpiritual duties by its ſallying often into the world; and much ſuſpected when it is readier to cloſe with a promiſe of God that ſpeaks comfort, than with a command of God, which ſpeaks obedience. Oh! pray againſt ſuch a diſtemper as ſavours of ſelf ſeeking, and labour to get holy Principles, ſuch as love to God to be the ſpring of all thy words, actions, and walkings, and then thou maiſt take comfort in them: for if any other humility which is carnal be found prevailing in thee, it will argue hypocriſie. There is ſo much pride in men naturally, that when God begins to work upon the ſoul, he finds no greater an enemy to it than pride; and of nothing more do Saints complain than it; which makes them unfit for any company, any diſcourſe; and therefore you ſhall have many poor ſouls afraid to ſpeak of any thing, leſt they ſhould diſcover a proud heart; and eſpecially in ſuch conferences wherein men are diſcourſing of the things of God. And you that experience this, ſhall find it moſtly to riſe in ſuch diſcourſe, when you are able to diſcover the experiences of your ſoul more clearly than other poor Saints. For you ſhall have ſome that are real Saints, yet but babes newly converted, that will ſpeak of God but very confuſedly, by reaſon that God hath but in a very ſmall manner diſcover'd himſelf to them; and withal they are afraid to ſpeak leſt they ſhould diſcover an hypocritical heart in ſpeaking. To direct him that hath had more clear diſcoveries of God: Let him conſider, 1 Pet. 4.2. If any man ſpeak, let him ſpeak as the Oracles of God, as of the ability which God giveth. Let him labour to ſet the crown of all his diſcoveries on Gods head, and ſo let him go on to ſpeak; and without doubt if a man for fear of diſcovering his proud heart, ceaſe to ſpeak for God; in ſo doing he doth only labour to cut off the branch, but ſuffereth the root to grow; and goes about only to ſtill the corruption not to mortifie it. And on the other hand, let the poor weak Saint take heed of ceaſing to ſpeak to other Saints for fear of diſcovering his hypocriſie; but let him go on to ſpeak and pray againſt his hypocriſie, and conclude it to be a temptation.
XXIII. From this experience, and the Rule upon it, we have this very obſervant Divine, reſolving this practical caſe or enquiry: viz. How a man may ſhun pride in the mind, and the appearance of of it in the body? To which he anſwers, The incitements and fomentings of pride, ariſe either from what a mans ſelf enjoys, or what he apprehends other men think he enjoys. Examine it chiefly as to the firſt head; for if it be cured there, there is no fear of it in the other; if thou thinkeſt thou art rich, beautiful, and well-parted, and doſt make theſe fewel for an high conceit of ſelf, it argues a vain, yea a lighter than vain ſpirit. For conſider,
(1) What thou haſt, thou didſt receive it; it's none of thine own. What credit is it for thee to have an hundred pounds of another mans? wilt thou ſay therefore thou art rich of that which may be taken away from thee the next moment? Wilt thou be proud of an alms? me thinks to conſider ſeriouſly that it's an alms, ſhould humble thee.
(2) Conſider, thou haſt not ſo much of any of theſe enjoyments, but others have as much, and many have more. And therefore if thou art eſteemed for theſe, many have as much, and others have more than thou haſt; and if it were put to their choice, they would leave thee and cleave to another, as one to be prefer'd.
(3) Conſider if ſome do eſteem thee, others do diſlike thee as much; few know thee, of thoſe that know thee; few conſider thee, of them that conſider thee; ſome ſlight thee, ſome revile thee, ſome envy thee; and a fool art thou then to mind either what thou haſt, or what others think thou haſt.
Take Rules to keep the heart from pride.
[1] Never think of what thou haſt, but think that others have more, and what thou haſt was given thee; praiſe therefore the Donor.
[2] Whenever thou thinkeſt of what thou haſt, ſhun the thought that ſhall repreſent thee with what other men think thou haſt; this is an effectual means to mortifie thee.
[3] Be much in thinking of thy defects, and thine unworthy improving of that thou haſt; this will be a good means to humble thee.
[4] Think if men knew all, they would abate and ſlacken of their eſteem, if they would not ſink into a diſeſteem of thy baſe heart.