A Body of Practical Divinity, Sermon 73
EXOD. XX.12.
Honour thy Father and thy Mother, &c.
If we are not just we cannot be holy. Having shown you how Servants are to honour their Masters, the Fathers of Families, I shall next show how Masters are to carry it towards their Servants, that they may gain Honour from them.
1. In General. Masters must remember that they have a Master in Heaven, who will call them to Account. Eph. 6.9. Knowing, that your Master is also in Heaven.
2. More Particularly.
(1.) Masters must have a care to provide for their Servants: As they cut them out Work, so they must give them their Meat in due season, Luke 17.7. And the Food should be wholsom and sufficing. It is an unworthy thing in some Governors of Families, to lay out so much upon their own Backs, as to pinch their Servants Bellies.
(2.) Masters should encourage their Servants in their Work, by commending them when they do well: Tho a Master is to tell a Servant of his Faults, yet he is not always to beat upon one string, but sometimes take notice of that which is praise-worthy. This makes a Servant more chearful in his Work, and gains the Master Love from his Servant.
(3.) Masters must not over-burden their Servants, but proportion their Work to their Strength. If you lay too much load on a Servant, he will faint under it. Christianity teacheth Compassion.
(4.) Masters must endeavour the Spiritual Good of their Servants; they must be Seraphims to kindle their Love to Religion: They must be Monitors to put them in mind of their Souls: They must bring them to the Pool of the Sanctuary, waiting till the Angel stir the Waters, Iohn 5.4. They must seek God for them, that their Servants may be his Servants: They must allow them Time convenient for secret Devotion. Some Masters are cruel to the Souls of their Servants; they look that they do the Work about the House, but abridge them of Time they should employ in working out Salvation.
(5.) Masters should use mild gentle Behaviour towards Servants, Eph. 6.9 Forbearing Threatning. Lev. 25.43. Thou shalt not rule over him with rigour, but fear thy God. It requires Wisdom in a Master to know how to keep up his Authority, yet lay down his Austerity. We have a good Copy to write after. Our Master in Heaven is slow to Anger, and of great Mercy, Psal. 145.8. Some Masters are so harsh and implacable, that they are enough to spoil a good Servant.
(6.) Be very exact and punctual in the Compacts and Agreements you make with your Servants: Do not prevaricate; keep not back any of their Wages, nor deal deceitfully with them, as Laban did with Iacob, changing his Wages, Gen. 31.7. Falseness in Promise is as as bad as False Weights.
(7.) Be careful of your Servants, not only in Health but in Sickness. They have got their Sickness in your Service; use what means you can for their Recovery. Be not like the Amalekite, who forsook his Servant when he was sick, 1 Sam. 30.13. but be as the good Centurion, who kept his sick Servant, and sought to Christ for a Cure, Mat. 8.6. If you have a Beast that falls sick, you will not turn it off, but have it look'd to, and pay for its Cure. Will you be kinder to your Horses than your Servants? Thus should Masters (the Fathers of the Family) carry themselves prudently and piously, that they may gain Honour from their Servants, and may give up their Accounts to God with Joy.
Fifthly, The Natural Father. The Father of the Flesh, Heb. 12.9. Honour thy Natural Father. This is so necessary a Duty, that Philo the Jew placed the Fifth Commandment in the First Table, as tho' we had not perform'd our whole Duty to God, till we had paid this Debt of Honour to our Natural Parents. Children are the Vineyard of the Parents planting, and Honour done to the Parent,1 Cor. 9.7. is some of the Fruit of the Vineyard.
Quest. Wherein are Children to show their Honour to their Parents?
Resp. I. In a Reverential Esteem of their Persons. They must *Arist.foreign, Give them a Civil Veneration. Therefore when the Apostle speaks of Fathers of our Bodies, he speaks also of giving them Reverence, Heb. 12.9. This Veneration or Reverence must be shown,
1. Inwardly, by Fear mixed with Love. Lev. 19.3. Ye shall fear every Man his Mother and his Father. In the Commandment the Father is named First, here the Mother is named First. (1.) Partly, to put the Honour upon her the Mother, because by reason of many Weaknesses incident to her Sex, she is apt to be more slighted by Children. And (2.) Partly, because the Mother endures more for the Child; therefore here God gives the Mother the Priority, names her first, Ye shall fear every one his Mother and his Father.
2. Reverence must be shown to Parents Outwardly, viz. In Word and Gesture.
(1.) In Word; and that either in speaking to Parents, or speaking of them.
First, Reverence in speaking to Parents. Children must speak to Parents respectively, and in decent Language. 1 Kings 2.20. Ask on my Mother, said King Solomon, to his Mother Bathsheba.
Secondly, Reverence in speaking of Parents. Children must speak of their Parents honourably; they ought to speak well of them if they deserve well. Prov. 31.28. Her Children rise up and call her Blessed. And in case a Parent betrays Weakness and Indiscretion, the Child should make the best of it, and by his wise Apologies for his Father, cover his Fathers Nakedness.
(2.) In Gesture. Children are to show their Reverence to their Parents by Submissive Behaviour, by uncovering the Head, bending the Knee. Ioseph, tho he were a Great Prince, and his Father grown poor, yet he bow'd to him, and behaved himself as humbly as if his Father had been the Prince, and he the poor Man, Gen. 48.46. And King Solomon, when his Mother came to him, rose off his Throne, and bowed himself to her, 1 Kings 2.19. Among the Lacedemonians, if a Child had carried himself arrogantly and sawcily to his Father, it was lawful for the Father to appoint whom he would to be his Heir. O how many Children are far from this giving Reverence to their Parents! They despise their Parents; they carry themselves with that Pride and Malapertness towards them, that they are a shame to Religion, and bring their Parents Grey Hairs with Sorrow to the Grave. Deut. 27.16. Cursed be he that setteth light by his Father or Mother. If all that set light by their Parents are Cursed, how many Children in our Age are under a Curse! If such as are disrespectful to their Parents live to have Children, they will be Thorns in their sides, and God will make them read their Sin in their Punishment.
II. The Second way of showing Honour to Parents, is in careful Obedience. Col. 3.20. Children obey your Parents in all things. Our Lord Christ herein set a Pattern to Children. Luke 2.51. He was subject to his Parents. He to whom Angels were subject, yet was subject to his Parents. This Obedience to Parents is shown three ways.
(1.) In hearkning to their Counsel. Prov. 1.8. Hear the Instruction of thy Father, and forsake not the Law of thy Mother. Parents are as it were in the room of God; if they would teach you the Fear of the Lord, you must listen to their Words as Oracles, and not be as the deaf Adder to stop your Ears. Ely's Sons hearkned not to the Voice of their Father, 1 Sam. 2.25. but they were called Sons of Belial, ver. 12.—And Children must hearken to the Counsel of their Parents, as in Spiritual Matters, so in other Affairs which relate to this Life, as in the Choice of a Calling, and in case of entring into Marriage. Iacob would not dispose of himself in Marriage, (tho he were Forty Years old) without the Advice and Consent of his Parents, Gen. 28.1, 2. Children are as it were the Parents proper Goods and Possession, and it is high Injustice in a Child to give away her self without the Parents leave. If Parents should indeed counsel a Child to match with one that is Irreligious or Popish, I think the case is plain; and many of the Learned are of Opinion, that here the Child may have a Negative Voice, and is not obliged to be ruled by the Parent. Children are to marry in the Lord, 1 Cor. 7.39. Therefore not with Persons Irreligious, for that is not to marry in the Lord.
(2.) Obedience to Parents is shown in subscribing to their Commands. A Child should be the Parents Eccho: When the Father speaks, the Child should Eccho back Obedience. The Rechabites were forbidden by their Father to drink Wine, and they did obey him, and were commended for it, Ier. 35.6. And Children must obey their Parents foreign, in all things, Col. 3.20. Things that are more against the Grain, and which they have some Reluctancy to, yet they must obey their Parents. Esau would obey his Father, when he commanded him to fetch him Venison, because it is probable he took pleasure in hunting; but refused to obey him in a matter of greater Concernment, namely, in the Choice of a Wife. But tho Children must obey their Parents in all things, yet *Davenantrestringitur ad licita & honesta, it is with this Limitation, Things just and honest. Obey in the Lord, Ephes. 6.1. That is, so far as the Commands of Parents agree with, and are consonant to Gods Commands. If they command against God, here they lose their Right of being obeyed, and in this Case we must unchild our selves.
(3.) Honour is to be shown to Parents in relieving their Wants. Ioseph cherished his Father in his Old Age, Gen. 47.12. It is but the paying a just Debt. Parents have brought up Children when they were young, and Children ought to nourish their Parents when they are old. The young Storks by the Instinct of Nature bring Meat to the Old Storks, when by reason of Age ther are not able to fly, Pliny. Lex Pelargica—The Memory of Aeneas was honoured, for carrying his Aged Father out of Troy when it was on Fire. I have read of a Daughter, whose Father being condemned to be starv'd to Death, she did in Prison give him Suck with her own Breasts, which being known to the Governours, procured his Freedom out of Prison. To blame are such, shall I say Children or Monsters, who are ashamed of their Parents when they are old, and fallen to decay. When Parents Tears and lean Cheeks may plead Pity, yet Children have no Compassion: When they ask for Bread they give them a Stone. When Houses are shut up, we say the Plague is there. When Childrens Hearts are shut up against their Parents, the Plague is in those Hearts. Our blessed Saviour took great Care for his Mother: When he was on the Cross, he charg'd his Disciple Iohn to take her home to him as his Mother, and see that she wanted nothing, Iohn 19.26, 27. The Reasons why Children should honour their Parents, are:
1. It is a Solemn Command of God, Honour thy Father, &c. As God's Word is the Rule, so his Will must be the Reason of our Obedience.Reason.
2. They deserve Honour, in respect of that great Love and Affection which they bear to their Children, and that Love is evidenced both by their Care and Cost. (1.) Their Care in bringing up their Children. A Sign their Hearts are full of Love, because their Heads are so full of Care. Parents oft take more Care for their Children than for themselves. They take Care of them when they are tender, least like Wall-Fruit they should be nip'd in the Bud. And as Children grow older, so the Care of Parents grows greater. They are afraid of their Childrens falling when young, and of worse Faults when they are older. (2.) Their Love is evidenced by their Cost. 1 Cor. 12.14. They lay up, and lay out for their Children. They are not like the Raven or Ostrich, Job. 39.14. which are cruel to their Young. Parents sometimes do impoverlsh themselves to enrich their Children. All this calls for Honour from the Children. Children can never parallel or equal Parents Love. Parents are the Instruments of Life to their Children, Children cannot be so to their Parents.
3. To honour Parents is foreign, well-pleasing to the Lord, Col. 3.20. As it is joyful to the Parents, so it is pleasing to the Lord. Children, is it not your Desire to please God? In honouring and obeying your Parents, you please God as well as when you Repent and Believe. And that you may see how well it pleaseth God, he bestows a Reward upon it, That thy Days may be long in the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Iacob would not let the Angel go till he had blessed him; nor God would not part with this Commandment till he had blessed it. Here is the Blessing, That thy Days may be long in the Land, &c. St. Paul calls this the First Commandment with Promise, Eph. 6.2. The Second Commandment hath a General Promise of Mercy. But this is the First Commandment that hath a Particular Promise made to it, That thy Days may be long in the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Long Life is mentioned as a Blessing, Psal. 128.6. Thou shalt see thy Childrens Children. It was a great Favour of God to Moses, that tho' he was an Hundred and Twenty Years old he needed no Spectacles, his Eye was not dim, nor his Natural Strength abated, Deut. 34.7. God threatned it as a Curse to Eli, That there should not be an Old Man in his Family, 1 Sam. 2.31. Since the Flood Life is much abbreviated and cut short: Some the Womb is their Tomb; others exchange their Cradle for their Grave; others die in the Flower of their Age; Death serves it's Warrant every Day upon one or other. Now when Death lies in Ambush continually for us, if God satisfie us with Long Life: Psal. 91.16. With long Life will I satisfie him: This is to be esteemed a Blessing. It is a Blessing that God gives a long time to repent, and a long time to do Service, and a long time to enjoy the Comfort of Relations; and who is this Blessing of Long Life entail'd upon, but Obedient Children? Honour thy Father, that thy Days may be long. Nothing sooner shortens Life than Disobedience to Parents. Absalom was a disobedient Son, who sought to deprive his Father of his Life and Crown, and he did not live out half his Days. The Mule he rode upon, as being weary of such a Burden, left him hanging in the Oak betwixt Heaven and Earth, as not fit to tread upon the one, or enter into the other. Obedience to Parents spins out thy Life, —That thy Days may be long. Nor doth Obedience to Parents only lengthen Life, but sweeten it: Therefore it follows, That thy Days may be long in the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. To live long, and not have a Foot of Land, is a Misery; but Obedience to Parents settles Land of Inheritance upon the Child. Hast thou but one Blessing, O my Father? said Esau. Behold, God hath more Blessings for an Obedient Child than one; not only shall he have a Long Life, but a Fruitful Land: And not only shall he have Land, but Land given in Love. The Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Thou shalt have thy Land not only with God's Leave, but with his Love. All which are cogent Arguments to make Children Honour and Obey their Parents.