Right Thoughts, Part 1 · Trial 1
I. Tryal of Right Thoughts.
Sect. I.
Firſt,
1. Tryal of thoughts is b… their origin… Good thought… grow not in an evil heart. Luke 24.38.THen let us begin with thy Thoughts in their Original, and ſo judge the ſtreams, as near as we … to the Fountain head. Wouldſt thou approve thy thoughts to be right Thoughts, ſuch as indeed are the Righ co…s mans Evidence, let me ask thee plainly how th… cam…ſt to thy Thoughts? have they their Riſe in thy ſelf? (why do Thoughts ariſe in your hearts?) then know they are but Carnal at beſt, for all that is born of the fleſh is fleſh. John 3.6.The heart I know is a Vine that is alwayes bea…ing, a Fountain that is ever ſpringing up: Iſaiah 10.12. Mat. 15.19.and Thoughts are called the Fruit of the heart, as we ſaw before, and (as it were) the ſtreams of the Heart, they proceed from it, ſaith Chriſt; but, ſaith he,Mat. 7 18. James 3.22. a corrupt Tree cannot bring forth good fruit, nor a Fountain wel…, ſaith the Apoſtle James, ſalt water and freſh. Now every natural heart is a corrupt tree, a Vine of Sodom, and therefore its Crouds of thoughts naturally are but the Cluſters of Gomorrah,Deut. 32.32. Iſ…ah 57.20. a troubled Spring of Sea rather, that cannot …, but is ever caſting up mire and dirt. Amongſt all the Unbelievers in the world, there is not one pure mind, therefore not one pure thought; Titus 1.15. Job 14.4.for who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean? 'Tis a vain and ignorant boaſting that I have obſerved in ſome, that have thanked God that they were never troubled with evil thoughts in all their dayes: ſayeſt thou ſo? then I dare tell thee that thou never yet waſt owner of one good one, ſuch as God will own and accept for ſuch: That they think no body any hurt, who never truly thought themſelves or others any good: ſurely there are none greater ſtrangers to good thoughts, than ſuch as brag moſt of their good meanings, nay, that can tell you they hope to be ſaved by them, And how came they by them? why, they thank God, they have had them ever ſince they can remember, God forbid elſe. They have as good hearts to God, and think as well of Jeſus Chriſt as the beſt of them, though they cannot ſpeak ſo well. Yet do but ask theſe of the New birth, and you are unto them as a Barbarian, and ſpeak as it were in an unknown tongue, (as our Saviour to Nicodemus,) and ſhall only receive a frump or a frown for your freedome;Jam. 3.3, 4… what do you think they ſtand in need to be Catechized? if you do, they thank you, they do not think ſo meanly of themſelves, and this is one of their good thoughts.
Sect. II.
BUt let me plead with thee, O Man,No ſufficiency in our ſelves for one right thought. thou that findeſt good Thoughts, as free as the Rode, and as Common and eaſie as the high way: Art thou greater than the …poſtle Paul, he ſaith expreſly, that we are not ſufficient of our ſelves to Think any thing of Our ſelves. Therefore we muſt be taken off of Our ſelves before we can poſſibly Think one Right Thought. But our ſufficiency (ſaith the Text) is of God. As we cannot think at all Phyſically, nor exert one motion of the Mind in Thought, but by a ſufficiency of God, working by Nature: ſo much leſs can we think Morally, 2 Cor. 3.5. Amongſt all Unbelievers not one pure thought. Titus 1.15.Thoughts good in a ſpiritual notion, in the account of God, but by his own ſufficiency working by Grace. To the unbelieving, (ſaith the ſame Apoſtle,) there is nothing pure, but even their very Mind is defiled; And if their Mind drop its uncleanneſs and defilement upon all about it, ſurely much more upon the thoughts, that lie next unto it. Some men think their thoughts are certainly good, Reaſon why their thoughts trouble them not.becauſe they never trouble them. They do not complain of blaſphemous thoughts, and horrid injections, as many do; And alas! the only Reaſon why the thoughts, the Treaſures of their H arts, their goods are in peace, is becauſe the ſtrong Man Arm'd keeps the Palace, Luke 11.21.the Devil is Lord and Maſter there. But if ever that ſtronger one than he, the Lord Jeſus Chriſt,Verſe 22. 2 Cor. 10.5. (by the weapons of that warfare that are ſpiritual and mighty through God,) had come and prevailed upon thee, 'tis ſtrange if all would have continued ſo quiet in thee; thou wouldeſt likely have ſeen troubles, and heard amazing noiſes in thy own Soul, for there would have been the pulling down of ſtrong holds, and this would have awakened thee ſure to purpoſe, and raiſed Commotions in thy Thoughts: for the very Firſt motions of Grace, as I ſaid before, and ſtirs, would have appeared there. The caſting down of ſome, the bringing in others into captivity to the obedience of Chriſt, Luke 2.24.who is ſet as for the riſing and falling of many in Iſrael, ſo in the ſoul; the thoughts that thou wert beſt acquainted and pleaſed with, muſt have come tumbling down; and the thoughts, whoſe faces thou never ſaweſt before, would have riſen up in their room, own thoughts muſt have been unthoughts, Old thoughes amongſt other things, muſt have paſt away, 2 Cor. 5.17. Iſaiah 55.7.and all things muſt have become new. Let the unrighteous forſake his thoughts, His Thoughts, that is, Thoughts growing in corrupt natures Garden, for Regeneration is eſpecially called, a Renewing in the ſpirit of the Mind. Epheſ. 4.23Search the Scriptures and if things be not thus, then blame me, and think as well as ever thou thou didſt of thy ſelf, and as ill as ever thou canſt of the Author, for giving thy calm and quiet thoughts any needleſs trouble; But alas Reader! be not deceived, Gal. 6.7, 8.God is not mocked; but if a man think himſelf to be ſomething when he is nothing, he deceives himſelf. Let me tell thee, thy thinking well of thy own thoughts, will no more make them good, than thy thinking thy ſelf ſuch, will make God to think thee ſo. And yet, believe it, I beſeech thee, O Reader, that my end and deſign in all this is not to diſturb, but to direct thee. The Apoſtle delighted not in making the Corinthians ſorry, but that they ſorrowed after a godly ſort, 2 Cor. 7.9.It is no pleaſure to me, to think that thy thoughts are wrong, but deſirous I am to ſet them right, and to help thee how to judge rightly of them, and of thy ſelf by them.
Sect. II.
SEeing then, Reader,Seeing grace firſt ſtirs in thoughts. that we are now at the very root of the matter, and have told thee once again, that the grace of God firſt ſtirs in the Thoughts. Give me leave to lay before thee a plain Scheme and Map of ſuch Thoughts as Divine Grace doth uſually work in true Penitents, of ſuch Right Thoughts, as it doth firſt give in to thoſe whom it will accept, and own as Righteous perſons. And herein, that I may the more diſtinctly proceed, I ſhall premiſe ſomething, (Firſt,) Concerning the Seaſon and Occaſion,Premiſed two things, occaſion and method of Gods working them. Gods uſual ſeaſon to bring ſinners to right thoughts (ſuch as for mad men to right minds.) and the Method, (Secondly,) Of Gods working ſuch Thoughts as theſe in the Heart and Mind of Man. In all which, if thou wilt go along with me, I truſt thou wilt find both Scripture Evidence and Chriſtian Experience to bear thee Company.
Sect. IV.
FOr the Seaſon that God takes to bring Sinners to Right Thoughts, 'tis ſuch as the Phyſitian takes, to bring mad men to Right Minds, (for even this great and Inward Change in Scripture is called foreign,Acts 3.31. Repentance a coming to Right minds. a coming to our Right minds, ſo the word ſignifies) when they have them under Chains, and in the dark. If they be held in Cords of Affliction, and bound in Fetters; THEN he ſheweth them their work, &c. He openeth their Ear to Diſcipline, &c. For God ſpeaketh once, Job 36.8. Verſe 9.10. Job 33.14, 15. Verſe 19. Verſe 16.yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not; But in a viſion of the Night, (when he is chaſtened with pain upon his bed, as it there follows, &c.) then he openeth the Ears of men, and ſealeth their inſtruction, In the day of Adverſity, ſaith God, Conſider, when the Patriarchs were reduced to a ſore ſtrait, then they are brought to think ſeriouſly of their Sin againſt their Brother Joſeph; And 'twas he that brought them into it, for that very end; ſo doth our heavenly Joſeph, Jeſus Chriſt,Eccleſ. 7.14. Gen. 41.21. often do for the very ſame purpoſe; he ſends troubles oft times on the outward, for the reducing of the inner man; and ſtraitens the Garriſon, that he may take it in.1 King. 8.47. Luke 15.17. The Iſraelites by their Captivity muſt be taught to Bethink themſelves, and ſo the Prodigal by his Famine. Or however, when the mighty God takes the weapons of the ſpiritual warfare into his own hand,Hoſea 6.5. and hews men by his Prophets, and ſtays them by the words of his mouth, and his Judgments are as the light that came upon Saul (in his full ca…ar) and ſtruck him to the ground, Act. 9.3.and a …oice from Heaven with it, that ſtrikes him to the heart; Soul, ſoul, Verſe 6.what doſt thou mean by this hardening thy Heart again…t Heaven, and ſetting thy ſelf againſt God? Are thy heels harder than his pricks? canſt thou dwell with ever…aſting burnings? Verſe 4.5.The Commandment comes, Sin revives, the falſe conceited Righteous perſon is ſtruck dead (I dyed, ſaith Paul) knows not what to think;Rom. 7.9. w…o art thou Lord? nor what to do, Lord what wouldeſt thou have me to do? ſuch, I ſay, is the ſeaſon and occaſion that God takes for reducing ſinners to Right Thoughts.Act. 9.5.
I know indeed that Grace is a Soveraign agent, Grace not to be limited. Acts 16.15. Sometimes ſlips the lock of the heart with little noiſe.and works as it will: ſometimes It ſlips the Lock of the hear, as Lydia's, with little noiſe, and ſo makes …oom for Right Thoughts there, It may poſſibly ſteal into the heart, if I may ſay ſo, like Joſephs cup into Benjamins ſack, And he, that hath it, wonders when, or how, It firſt came thither. All women that do well too, have not the ſame troubles and pains in Child-bearing, that the moſt have; And ſo it is alſo in the new birth. And if thou be one that canſt ſay indeed, that there is a Change in thee from what thou waſt by Nature, one thing thou knoweſt that whereas thou waſt born blind, now thou ſe…ſt, John 9.25.(as the man in the Goſpel,) The grace of God hath brought t…ee to thy right ſight, a Right mind, Right Thoughts;Canſt thou ſay I was born blind, but God has brought me to Right ſight, mind, and thoughts with leſſe: do Bleſſe God for the thing, Repine not at the manner. Gen. 44.13. but by what Sickneſs, Sermon, Affliction, Conviction, it began with thee, thou canſt not ſay; which is the caſe of ſome (eſpecially ſome ſuch that have been all their lives, much under the power of the reſtraining Grace of God, and of a ſtrict and holy education), let me exhort thee rather to magnifie that Grace that hath appeared to thee, and (taught thee to deny ungodlineſs, &c. then to repine becauſe thou doſt not know, or by what means and gradations, the work of God hath grown up in thy heart, or to deny what God hath done for thy Soul. But yet withall, this I muſt add, that as it is obſerved that the coming of the Cup into the Sack, in an unknown way, left them in the more trouble and perturbations afterwards, though it came from a friendly hand; And thoſe women that have leſs fore-pains, then others, have many times greater After-pains, (as they call them). So they that have leſs ſignal Spiritual troubles preceding their converſion, and have known leaſt of the terrours of the Lord, are by ſo much the more full of Anxiety many times, almoſt all their dayes,2 Cor. 5.11. full of doubtful thoughts whether they were ever ſavingly wrought upon, becauſe not wrought upon as ſuch and ſuch; Haunted, many times with Hideous thoughts, and Temptations to Atheiſm, Blaſphemy, &c. which make them even weary of life, and afraid of death, and yet may be very pretious in the ſight of God, and dear to Jeſus Chriſt.
Sect. V.
ANd as Gods uſual Seaſon is the time of trouble, of ſpiritual trouble, to bring men to Right Thoughts:Pſal. 77.2.3. Verſe 16. To remember God, to Conſider the dayes of old, to commune with their own hearts, to make diligent ſearch into their own ſpirits, to take notice of their Infirmities, Verſe 10. Verſe 11.to Remember the years of the right hand of the moſt High; to Remember the works of the Lord, and to meditate of his doings, &c. (All which is Right-Thought-work, and which the Pſalmiſt was ſet upon in the day of his Trouble. Pſal. 77.2. Gods ordinary method to bring to right thoughts by ſetting home ſome particular ſin.) So the Method that God ordinarily uſeth, Is, to bring to their thoughts ſome one particular Sin, and to preſent it to their Souls view in all its ugly ſhape and monſtrous deformity, with its heightening circumſtances, and helliſh horrour, that, (like the tail of a Pr…digious Comet), it draws after it; now as Ghoſts are moſt terrible and confounding when they appear in the Dark, ſo is Sin when it ſtares a man in the face in his time of trouble. Thus the Patriarchs were ſtruck with the appaling thought of their ſavage cruelty to their innocent Brother when themſelves were in Diſtreſs; Gen. 42.21.no doubt, they had other Sins to trouble them, but this firſt flew in their face. Saul, with the thought of his furious perſecuting of Jeſus. Thus ſome for telling a known Lie, Acts 9.4.others for ſome Theft, or known Fraud, others for prophaning the Lords-Day, others for ſome prophane Oath, others for Diſobedience to Parents, And ſome, though few, like Mary Magdalene, for the foul ſin that brings a wound and a diſhonour, and a rep…oach that is hardly wiped away. Prov. 6.33.So that as men ordinarily ſingle out ſome one ſpecial Sin to ſet their heart upon, though they entertain and practice all the reſt,Rom. 7.8. with 24. ſo God ſingles out ſome ſpecial Sin to fix their thoughts upon, and thereby to bring them in due time to ſight and ſenſe of the whole Body of Death; nay ſometimes when men (by a blameleſs appearance, and moral converſation) have got the good thoughts of other men, & their own much more,Heb. 3.1. Luke 18.6. God ſometimes ſuffers civil men to fall into ſome foul act to diſcover t… …hem the plague of the heart 1 Kings 8 38. Sometimes thoughts are in an uproar, troubled, and diſtinct cares not known. Acts 19.32. Verſe 40. Yet God ſometimes out of this Chaos draws a new Creation. As in Geneſis. Reduceth thoughts to proper places and things to order. Rev. 3.20. Prov. 18.14. Acts 2.57. Prov. 38.4. truſting (as Chriſt ſpeaks) in themſelves, that they are righteous, God ſuffers them to fall into ſome groſs act of Sin, perhaps Drunkenneſs, perhaps making a mock at Godlineſs to pleaſe vile company, perhaps Perjury, or ſome other palpable act of wickedneſs, that by ſuch a riſing in the fleſh, he may bring them to know, and to bethink themſelves of the Plague of the heart that Scripture ſpeaks of.
Indeed I have ſometimes obſerved, ſome perſons troubled with a ſtrange unuſual throng and croud of Thoughts, Sermons trou…led them, and Sins troubled them, but their Thoughts w…re like that confuſed concourſe in the Acts, of which no diſtinct account could be given, and the Aſſembly knew not why they were come together. And as ſuch a croud of thoughts have been thus in an uproar for ſome ſpace of time, and they knew not diſtinctly why, ſo a little time hath brought it to they know not what, nothing for good hath come of it. And yet ſometimes the All-wiſe and powerful grace of God, even out of ſuch a Chaos of confuſion, is pleaſed to draw a New-Creation, reducing things to their proper places, and thoughts to their right order.
Sect. VI.
BUt generally, when Grace firſt knocks at the door of the heart, and finds the Sinner in diſtreſs, wounded in Spirit that he cannot bear it, prickt at the very heart, (the preſſing ſenſe of Sin lies upon him, and goes over him as a burthen too heavy for him;) It brings him to ſpeak within himſelf; Or, (which is all one) to think thus,The Scheme of a Converts firſt thought. Lament. 3.1. or to this effect;
I am the man that have ſeen Affliction by the Rod of his anger, and now I ſtand here a miſerable Malefactour before the Lord, who perfectly knows all my ſecrets, and infinitely hates all my Sins: My Conſcience hales me to his Bar, for my ſin hath found me out, Num. 32.23. Gen. 42.21. Prov. 28.13. Job 9.4.And I am verily guilty concerning this thing: ſhould I then either hide my ſin, or harden my ſelf againſt God? who ever did either of theſe, and proſpered? This then is my proper ſtation, though my feet be hurt with ſetters, and the Iron enters into my very Soul, though the Chain of Gods Indignation be heavy upon me, Micah 7.9.yet I muſt bear it, becauſe (it is my own Chain) I have ſinned againſt him. Excuſe my ſin. Alas, I cannot; I knew my Maſters will, Luke 12.57. Rom. 7.12. Malac. 1.6.and knew it to be Holy, juſt, and Good, and did it not; I call'd him Lord, yet fear'd him not; I knew he forbad the thing I did, yet I did it; I knew he looked on me, and yet I did it; I knew he would call me to an account for it, and yet I did it. Accuſe my Maſter, Alas, I dare not; No, no,Jam. 1.13, 14. He tempted me not, but I was drawn away of my own luſt and enticed; my own luſt, I may call it ſo, as much as I may call my Heart my own; an Heart ſo vile, but yet my own; ſuch a Fountain of Poyſon, ſuch a Cage of every unclean and hateful Bird; an Heart, nay an Hell; yea and worſe to me then all the Devils there; I ſhould bely them, as bad as they be, ſhould I ſay otherwiſe; an heart ſo deſperately wicked, Jorem. 17.9.that if all the men of the world had told me that I had ſuch a heart, or ſhould have done ſuch a thing,2 King. 8.13. I ſhould with diſdain have replyed (with Hazael) am I a Dog? or a Devil? that I ſhould do ſuch a thing; Nay, when Gods own word told me, till this curſed Sin told it me, I could not have thought that I carryed ſuch a heart about me. Is this the Heart I ſo long truſted? that I ſo often excuſed? that I ſo much applauded? Is this the honeſt, the good heart? the heart full of good meanings? the heart that thought no harm? O miſtery of Iniquity! O Hell of Hypocriſy! and unſearchable depth of deceipt! Well, deep as thou art, God hath now ſearched out thy deep things, O my ſoul! and now my Sin is ever before me, Pſalm 51.3. Gen. 4.7. Job 14.5.and my puniſhment is following hard after me, Sin lies at my door; My fatal moment is ſet, that I cannot paſs it; and yet ſecret, that I cannot know it, Mat. 24.42. Mat. 13.35. Heb. 9.27.whether in the evening, or at midnight, or at cock-crowing; only this I know, that after death (come it when it will) comes Judgment; Judgment unavoidable, before a Judge impartial and unexorable; The Crime naked; The Priſoner ſpeechleſs;Heb. 4.13. Mat. 22.12. The Sentence ſpeedy; The Execution certain; The Torment intolerable, yet muſt be born; without any eaſe, yet without all end;Mat. 18.13. through millions of millions of Ages; nay without help, or hope of help to all Eternity; And this not a Phantaſie, but a greater reality, then what I ſee with my outward eyes; nor a forrain concernment, but thy own caſe, O my own Soul.
Sect. VII.
UNder ſuch doleful thoughts as theſe, the penſive Sinners Life (for ſome part of it more or leſſe, even as it pleaſeth God) is ſpent with Grief; Pſalm 31.10.as Davids, yea ſometimes whole years with ſighing, ſo that his very ſtrength faileth becauſe of his Iniquity, and his very bones are conſumed. But then the working thoughts do not thus leave the ſpiritual mourner, But in ſuch like ſort as this they do proceed.
Alas then! what ſhall I do? Shall I think of giving my overwhelmed Spirit, my aking Heart ſome preſent eaſe by breaking away from Gods Bar? But whither, O whither ſhall I go? ſhall I fly out again to my curſed courſes, and riotous Company? Oh theſe have been my Bane already, and methinks I ſtill ſee upon the wall, over againſt the place where I too lately ſate amongſt them,Daniel 5 5. the Fingers of a mans hand writing and drawing up a bloody Indictment againſt me,Iam. 3.19. Prov. 7.23. I remember the Wormwood and the Gall, the Dart, that then and there ſtruck through my Liver, and the wound that hath been feſtring ever ſince becauſe of my fooliſhneſs. Pſal. 38 5.Shall I turn me then to the harmleſs creatures, and beg of them ſome relief? Alas! my Sins have engraven vanity there, with a pen of Iron,Eccleſ. 2.11. yea Vexation of Spirit, with the very point of a Diamond. Shall they eaſe my Servitude and cruel Bondage, who have wearyed them with mine Iniquities, Iſaiah 43.24.and made them ſerve with my Sins, and God in them? ſhall they help my groaning, who have made them all groan under the bondage of my corruption? Rom. 8.21. and 2…. Job 7.13, 14. Pſal. 102.4.No, no, If I ſay my bed ſhall comfort me, or my Couch eaſe my complaint, then am I ſca ed with Viſions, and terrified through Dreams. Sometimes I forget, ſometimes I fear to eat my Bread, leaſt the Morſel ſhould prove a Meſſenger of Death to me, and haſten me away to the place from whence I ſhall not return. Sometimes God holdeth my eyes waking that I cannot ſleep; Pſalm 77.4.and ſometimes I dare not, leaſt I ſhould awake no more, till Fire and Brimſtone are about mine ears. In vain then do I think of running away from God, for whither ſhall I fly from his preſence? Pſal. 139.7.Shall I think then of fleeing to him, and of b…wing the knee before him? Alas, He is a conſuming Fire, and the Mountains ſmoak, Heb. 12.29. Iſaiah 63.3. 1 King. 20.31.and the Hills flow down at his preſence. Yet have I heard that the God of Iſrael is a merciful God, I will put a Rope upon my head, and make my Supplication to my Judge. But Alas! wherewithal ſhall I come before him, Job 9.15. Mich. 6.6, 7.and bow my knee to the moſt High? Shall I think of Pilgrimages or Penances, of coming before him with burnt Offerings? to give him, If I had them, thouſands of Rams, or ten thouſands of Rivers of Oyl? or my firſt born for my tranſgreſſion, or the fruit of my Body for the ſin of my Soul? Will he take any Bullock out of my Houſe, Pſal. 9.50. Deut. 4.24. Prov. 6.35. Exod. 34.5.or He-Goats out of my Fold? No, no, He is a Iealous God, and Iealouſly regards not any Ranſom, or many Gifts; He will by no means clear him that is guilty, and I dare not plead Not Guilty, though I die for it. Shall I think then of ſtretching out my hand in the way of ſome Legal Righteouſneſs and ſelf-wrought Reformation, to take hold of the Tree of L fe, now that I have eaten of the forbidden Tree? Alas!Gen. 3.22. and 24. behold Cherubims with a Flaming Sword, blocking up the way of the Covenant of Works, ſo that by the works of the Law ſhall no fleſh be juſtified. Alas!Gal. 2.16. my Sights for Sin are an Impure vapour; and my Tears for Sin, need waſhing! my Righteouſneſs are filthy rags, Iſaiah 64 6.and like the cloths of a removed Woman; If I ſhould juſtify my ſelf, my own mouth would condemn me, Job 9.20.and prove me perverſe; And I have too long already added this ſin of perverſs R bellion to my other wretchedneſs, that I have gone about to eſtabliſh my own Righteouſneſs, Rom. 10.3.and have not ſubmitted to the Righteouſneſs of God.
But yet, O thou pure God, haſt not thou ſaid that there is Forgiveneſs with thee, Pſal. 130.4. Jer. 8.22. John 4.29.that thou mayeſt be feared? Is there no Balm in thy Gilead? is there no Phyſitian there? But this very day there was a Meſſenger of thine with me, of a truth he was none but thine, for he told all that was in my heart, is not this the Interpreter? the one of a thouſand? Job 33.23.He told me withall from thy own mouth, that though I could not, yet thou haſt found a Ranſome, and given a Name, Job 33.24. Acts 4.12. Mat. 9.13. and 18, 11.though but One under Heaven whereby men might be ſaved; Who came not to call the Righteous, but Sinners to Repentance; to ſeek and to ſave that which was loſt; That help was laid upon him, Pſal. 89.19. Hebr. 7.25.and that he it mighty, even able to ſave to the utmoſt. That therefore there was hope in Iſrael concerning my ſoul, a poſſibility, nay a probability, nay a Certainty that if I would agree quickly, even while I am in the way, Mat. 5.25. Job 22.25.acquaint now my ſelf with God, I ſhould be at peace: That thou art not only Reconcileable, but in Chriſt reconciling the world to thy ſelf; 2 Cor 5.15. V…rſe 20.And therefore as though thou wert beſeeching me by Him (thine Ambaſſadour) He did pray me in Chriſts ſtead, that I would be reconciled to God; And O my Soul was moved within me at that word; ſhall the Judge, though I (as it were) petition? and not I, the Offender entertain the motion?1 Kings 20 23. Lam. 3.29. nay catch at the words (as Benhadads Servants,) and put my mouth in the duſt if there may be hope.
But then withal he told me, That Chriſt muſt be Lord as well as Jeſus; Zach. 6.13. Rom. 3.27. Mat. 13.45. and 46. and 19.21. chap. 19.24. Hebr. 3.15. and 10.30. Luke 17.32.a Prieſt indeed, but a Prieſt upon his Throne; That Faith was not Libertiniſme, but a Law; That all muſt be ſold, and not a farthing would be abated, if I would buy the Pearl of great price: That there was a dear ſelf to be denyed; A da ly Croſs to be taken up, A crucified leader to be followed, a ſevere example to be imitated; No time to be delayed before I began, (to day if I would hear his Voice, &c.) nor looking back (with Lots Wife) to be endured, after I had once begun. Wherefore he charged me in thy Name, before I went farther, to ſit down, Luke 19.28.and conſider the Coſt.
But O the conſternation that this new Thought breeds in my perplexed Spirit! I had almoſt ſaid in my heart, 1 Sam. 15.32.like Agag, the bitterneſs of death is over; Alas! my Sea-ſick Soul would fain have been at ſhore any way, though ſhe ventured a drowning for it; But now I ſee there is no remedy, but I muſt out again into the tempeſtuous Ocean. But O the unexpreſſible torment of a divided diſtracted mind! Alas the contrary ſtruglings in my poor ſoul,Gen. 25.22. as if there were two Nations there! One throng of Thoughts breaks in Impetuouſly,Iſaiah 57.10. Luke 19.21. did not we tell thee from the very firſt, ſilly ſoul, that there is no hope in God for thee? we knew that he was an auſtere Lord, whatever others might tell thee, that his ſayings are hard, ſo that none could bear them; And ſhouldſt thou ſet out, thou couldſt never hold out, and ſo thy laſt end would be worſe than thy beginning; John 6.60. 2 Pet. 2.20.21. Jerem. 2.25. Iſa. 22.23.And now thou mayeſt find our words true; Come, come, there is no hope, no: but we will throw up all, Let us eat and drink, for to morrow we muſt die: did not we tell that theſe Micajahs though, at firſt, they might ſeem to ſooth thee in ſome flattering hopes, yet would never propheſie good concerning thee?
But let not thy heart ſay ſo, ſaith a contrary thought, And ſo flies (with indignation) in the face of the former; And behold a Troop cometh after it, which when it hath forc't them to give ſome ground, This new Troop ſeizeth upon mine heart, and ſpeaks thus to it.
Sect. VIII.
UNngrateful ſinner!Rom. 5.8. is this thy kindneſs to thy Friend (that herein commendeth his love to thee in that whilſt thou wort an enemy he dyed for thee) that thou art ſtill liſtening to the curſed Off-ſpring of that old and evil heart of unbelief that ever was,Heb. 3.12. and ever will be, for departing from the living God? who, had he had a mind to deſtroy thee, might have done it, and never have ſhewn thee ſuch things as theſe. Judg. 13.23. Phil. ….7. Iſaiah 30.18.He took upon himſelf the form of a ſervant; And he ſtill waiteth, that he may be gracious; He ſtretcht forth his arms, to open thee a way to his Boſome love, upon the Croſs; and he ſtretc…eth out his hands again to thee,Iſaiah 65.2. Mat 26.26. Rev. 3.20. in the Preaching of the word. It hath been ſaid, Ask, and have; 'tis now, Take, and have; Take, eat, this is my body broken for thee: Salvation knocks, 'tis but thy opening and the work is done.
A work indeed, ſaith the drooping ſoul; which before it be done, I am like for all this to be undone; 'tis but taking! but opening? a ſad BUT, God knows, for me who am weak, and cannot: Vile, and dare not. Alas what have Dogs to do with Childrens Bread? ſhould I preſume, thinking to believe, and Blaſpheme, thinking to pray; Mat. 15.26.call Chriſt my Saviour,Rev. 2.9. and God my Father, and be rejected of both, O whither ſhould I make my ſhame to go? No, no, had I an Hand fit to receive ſuch a Gueſt, gladly would I go through Fire and Water to open the door to Jeſus, and take him with ten thouſand welcomes into my Soul.
And is it ſuch Preſumption, ſaith a thought on the other hand, and ſuch pride to be dutifull and obedient (for this is Gods Commandment that thou believe on Jeſus Chriſt) what pride,1 John 4.13. what preſumption then is it to be undutifull and diſobedient? He that believeth not, the wrath of God abideth on him. And wilt thou needs be damned, that thou mayſt have the credit of being modeſt, and going mannerly to Hell? Thou ſayeſt,Luke 5.8. Mat. 9.12. depart from me, for I am a ſinfull man! Why, he is the Phyſician, what ſhould he do with thee, if thou wert not ſick? Chap. 8.8.Thou art not worthy Grace ſhould come under thy Roof; neither would it be Grace if thou wert worthy, for if it were of works, (ſaith the Apoſtle) it were no more grace. But whilſt thou ſpeakeſt thy Fears and diſmal dread of preſumption, Rom. 11.6.didſt thou never hear of ſuch a Sin as deſpair? preſumption indeed, were it ſo, might undo thee; but bold and blaſphemous deſpair, (which thou thinkeſt modeſt and humble) la…ours to undo Jeſus Chriſt, Other ſins make work for Chriſt, who came not to call the righteous but ſinners to repentance; Math 9.13. Chap. 13.58. and 17.20.but black deſperation ſhuts him out of work, as 'tis ſaid, he d…id not many works there, (that is, in his own Country) becauſe of their unbelief. And doſt thou thus requite the Lord? fooliſh ſinner, and unwiſe! as to ſpill the Wine of his precious blood, in thy proud humility and Impudent Modeſty (like water upon upon the ground,) and that for no other reaſon than this,Iſaiah 55.1. Job 15.11. that he offers it to thee that haſt no Money, nor price: Muſt the conſolations of God needs be ſmall with thee, that thy modeſty may be great? Thou haſt no money, but haſt thou mind? thou haſt no deſert, but haſt thou no deſire? Chriſt hath a healing hem in his garments for thee, be thy Iſſue never ſo foul,Mat 9.20. and 14.36. Mat. 5.25. Verſe 17. Zach. 9.1…. Mar. 9.27. ſo ſhameful, ſo inveterate. If thy deſires be creeping towards him, while that Iſſue of thine continues Running; Break then, O priſoner of hope, through the throng of all thy contradicting Thoughts, and ſteal … …he leaſt one bleſſed touch, till thou find virtue going one of him. Come, Come,Chap. 9.30. The Spirit ſaith Come, and the Bride ſaith Come, and l…t him that heareth ſay Come, And let him that is athi…ſt come, and whoſoever will, let him take of the water of Life freely. Rev. 22.17. Heb. 12.27.Now ſee that thou refuſe not him that ſpeaks from Heaven.
But alas thinks my Soul, after all this, I ſadly fear, that if Chriſt would indeed accept me, I ſhould never be able to accept Chriſt; I find now 'tis a hard thing to be a Chriſtian;Acts 26.38. Numb. 13 28, 31, 33. I thought I had been almoſt perſwaded; but O the ſons of Anak! The walled Towns in the way! the Croſs! the Yoke! not a Luſt, not a Thought, not a Word, not a Look, in all the remainder of my life, but by Law? Alas! who can bea… it? I dread to begin to draw, leaſt I ſhould draw back, and better then I had never known the way of truth; Heb 10.38. Iſaiah 38.14.I know thy Soul hath no pleaſure in ſuch; O Lord, I am now oppreſſed, undertake for one! I would believe, my God, but cannot, help thou my unbelief! I would take thy yoke upon me, Mark 9.24.but I dare not; for I have been a Bullock unaccuſtomed to the Yoke, But turn thou me and I ſhall be turned, Jer. 31.18.and thou ſhalt be the Lord my God: I ſee, O Lord, I muſt have my yoke, which way ſoever I turn my ſelf; Sins and Satans I have too long born; And ſhould I die under thine, I cannot bear the thought of going back to theirs: For I am ſure to die under theirs. I am indeed in a great ſtraight; 2 Sam. 24.14.let me now fall into the hand of the Lord, for with the Lord there are mercies, but as for Satan and Sin, the mercies of theſe are cruel.Prov. 12.10.
Sect. IX.
CAſt out then the Shete Anchor of thy hope, O thou afflicted, Iſaiah 54.11.toſſed with tempeſt, and not comforted; and caſt it O my ſoul, as near as thou canſt, into that within the Vail; Heb. 11.19.If thou venture not on Jeſus Chriſt, thou periſheſt: And if thou doſt, thou canſt but periſh; 2 King. 7 4.If he ſave thee alive, thou ſhalt live, And if he kill thee, thou canſt but die; There hath been high and hainous, and (in their own eyes) the very chief of ſinners, 1 Tim. 1.15. 1 Cor. 6.11.waſhed, …uſtified, ſanctified, in the name of the Lord Jeſus, and by the ſpirit of God, yea that hath been ſet forth even for a PATTERN to all that ſhould afterward believe of him, 1 Tim. 1.16. Iſaiah 26.12.who not onelyonly ORDAINETH peace for us, but alſo worketh all our Works in us; Wherefore O thou bleſſed Jeſus, with fear and with trembling, I caſt and …oul my ſelf upon thee,Heſter 4.16. And if I periſh, I will periſh at thoſe feet that were therefore p…ced, that whilſt I put my fingers into the print of the Nailes, John 20.27.the weak hand of my Faith may have the better hold.
Sect. X.
LO here the Reſtleſs Mind of Man toucht with the Load-ſtone of Divine Grace, tremblingly wavering, Numb. 24.17.ſeeking reſt but finding none, till the thoughts fix upon the Star out of Jacob, the Lord Jeſus Chriſt! Lo, here the Heavenly conduct of Divine light (newly ariſen in the mind of man) bringing his Thoughts from a far Country, Matthew 2. Verſe 5.and never leaving them till it leave them in the very place where the Holy Child lies, The ſweet boſom of the Fathers love. Lo, here the Celeſtial Call, Iſaiah 41.2.raiſing up the Righteous man from the Eaſt his Native Countrey, or (if you will) natural condition).Acts 11.23. Heb. 11.15. And bringing him to Gods foot, with full purpoſe, and fixed Thought of Heart, (ſhould opportunity of returning into the old Countrey, The old ſtate, The other Gods on the other ſide of the Flood) ſerve never ſo fair, yet) never by the Grace of God, to return unto them more; cleaving to Chriſt for fear of leaving of him, or being left by him, Leaning on its beloved, that it may not be loſt any more in the old Wilderneſs, Cant. 8.5.the perplexing maze of its old unbelieving thoughts; faſtening it ſelf upon him, that it may by no means be ſhaken off by him, with ſuch mental ſpeakings as theſe.
Intreat me not to leave thee, Ruth. 2.14.or to return from following after thee; neither ſay thou to me, let me go; Ah my Jeſus, I will let all go, rather then let thee go; for I ſhould let infinitely more than the Worlds All go, in letting thee go, I ſhould looſe my ſelf in looſing thee, and be caſt away, Luke 9.25.and that too in the very ſight of Harbour. No, mo, my heart is fixed, O Chriſt, my heart is fixed; whither thou goeſt I will go; be it to thy Crown, or to thy Croſs: and where thou lodgeſt I will lodge; Ruth 2.16, 17.be it a Paradiſe or a Priſon: Thy people ſhall be my people, (though the world hate them.) And thy God ſhall be my God, (notwithſtanding all the ungodlineſs that is in the world, and the world of ungodlineſs that is in my heart,) where thou dyeſt I will die,Rom. 6.4. Verſe 6. and there will I be buryed; thy death ſhall mortifie my members that are upon earth; My Luſts ſhall thy Croſs kill, and thy Grave bury; Nay, God forbid that death ſhould part, Col. 3.3.but more cloſely, yea unſeperably, eternally unite thee and me, And ſo ſhall I ever be with the Lord.
And thus have you ſeen the returning Shulamite; Cant. 6.16.and what will you ſee in the Shulamite, but as it were the company of two Armies? On the one hand the ſtruglings of unbelief, on the other, the work of Faith with power till at length the houſe of Dav d grows ſtronger and ſtronger, 2 Theſ 1.1. Iſaiah 23.33. Gen. 32.25, 28. Iſaiah 40.1, 2.and the houſe of Saul grows weaker and weaker: Old thoughts paſs away, and new prevail, the lame divides the ſpoil, the halting Jacob becomes a Prince with God, the mourner is comforted, the warfare accompliſhed, the ſin pardoned, the bruiſed Reed lifts up its hanging head,Chapter 42.3. the ſmoaking ſlax breaks out into a flame; In one word, …n the multitude of the thoughts within, Pſalm 94.19.Gods comforts they delight the Soul.
And thus the ſoul falling into a place where, all this while,Acts 27.41. Pſalm 143.10. two contrary Seas have met, runs at length a ground on the and of uprightneſs: where the ſore-part, the Thought that preſſeth forward toward the Lord Jeſus Chriſt, ſticks faſt and remains unremoveable, while the hinder part is broken with the violence of waves, O bleſſed H…art-breaking, O bleſſed ſtorm, that drives the tumbling Thoughts upon this ſhore!Pſalm 107.30. well mayſt thou be glad becauſe thou art quiet, for God hath brought thee to thy deſired Haven.
1 Pet. 1.8. Phil. 4.7.O ſweet ſerenity, Joy unſpeakable, peace paſſing all underſtanding, that now keeps the heart and mind! yea the heart, by the MIND; flowing down like the pretious Oyntme…t from the head of Aaron to the skirts of his garment, Luke 2.29, 36.perfuming and embalming, by the thoughts of the mind, all the inferior powers of the Soul and affections of the heart; That the former can now preſent unto the later, even a deaths head without horrour, nay with amiableneſs in its Aſpect, whilſt the Soul can think with Simeon, Pſalm 133 2.Lord now letteſt thou thy ſervant depart in peace, for mine eyes have ſeen thy Salvation. So that hardly could the Convert now be kept from impatient deſiring to be diſſo ved and to be with Chriſt, but that he THINKS withal of ſomething to be done for Chriſt before …e die, Pſalm. 51.13. Luke 22.3…. 2 C…r 1 Phil. 1.23.of teaching tranſgreſſors Gods wayes that ſinners may be …verted; of ſtrengthening Brethren: of comforting others with the ſame conſolations, and ſo be haſteneth to be doing, that he may alſo haſten to be dying.
Sect. XI.
BUt Alas! Theſe Thoughts cannot alwayes hold without interruption. This brood of Travailers dig up Wells as they go, Pſal. 84.5. Gen. 2.5.and the Philiſtines follow after as faſt as they can, to ſtop them up with earth and ſtones: worldlineſs and earthlineſs, deadneſs and dulneſs return and repoſſeſſes the Mind and Thoughts of the eager Convert, and threaten to undo whatever Grace hath been a doing. So that the confident young Chriſtian (who thought that if he had but once gotten the Red Sea on his back, his Saviours blood betwixt him and his ſoul oppreſſors, there would be but a few dayes direct and eaſy journey, through the Wilderneſs of the World, to the Land of Canaan, Deut. 8.15.) falling amongſt many fiery Serpents, violent and virulent temptations and luſts (not thought of at his firſt ſetting out) and being bitten by them, he proceeds as more heavily ſo more humbly; And his After-thoughts are ſuch as theſe.
Now woe is me that I ſhould ever put my hand unto Gods Plough,Luke 9.62. and thus look back O why was I not contented to have dwelt on the other ſide of Jordan, Nay, to have ſtayed by the Fleſh-Pots of Aegypt, Joſhua 7 7. Exod 16.3.rather than to die in this Wilderneſs? It had been better ſure for me not to have known the way of Righteouſneſs,2 Pet. 2.2. Gal. 4 15. then after I have known it, thus to turn from the holy Comman…ment. Where is then the bleſſedneſs that I ſpake of? The Scripture ſaith indeed, Job 17.9. Gal. 3.3, 4.that the Righteous ſhall hold on in his way; But alas! I have begun in the ſpirit, And after all muſt I fooliſhly end in the fleſh? Have I ſuffered ſo many things in vain, if ſo be that it be yet in vain? Have I ſuſtained ſuch corrections, and received ſuch convictions, and brought forth ſuch Purpoſes and Reſolutions with ſo great Pain and Difficu…ty, and to ſo little purpoſe? Hoſ. 10.12. Iſaiah 28.14.I cannot deny that the fallow ground of my heart hath been indeed broken up, and Gods Plo…s have plowed all day to ſow, and 'twas good ſeed at the S…ers did ſow, when they ſowed the Wo…d;Mark 4.14. But alas I now find, to my Woe, that it was not ſown in a good and honeſt heart, for no ſooner was the blade ſpring up, Luke 8.15. Mat. 13.16, 21. Luke 8.14. Mark 4.19.but early temptation made it …ither away, ſo that it brought no fruit to …erfection; the cares of the World, the decoiptfulneſs of Riches, and the luſts of other things, theſe coming in have choaked the word, and it …th become unprofitable,Job 4.6. And is this thy confidence, O my ſoul, the uprightneſs of thy wayes; and thy hope? O think then that the word will prove true to thee, though thou haſt not been ſo to it, for it told thee that the back-ſlider in heart ſhould be filled with his own wayes, and I am ſure thou haſt found it ſo.Prov. 14.14. Heb. 6.7. Thou art the ground that haſt drunk in the rain that came oft upon it, and haſt brought forth Thorns, and what can now be thy doom, but to be rejected of God, to be nigh unto curſing, and thine end, but to be burned? Thou art the Houſe out of which the unclean Spirit went,Math. 12.33, 44, 45. and into which He returned, taking others with him, which though he found empty, ſwept, garniſhed, yet leaveth the laſt ſtate worſe than the firſt. Thou haſt wearyed thy ſelf with lies,Ezek. 24.12, 13. and thy great ſcum went not forth of thee, what remains but that thy ſcum ſhall be in the fire? In thy filthineſs is lewdneſs, becauſe God hath purged thee, and thou waſt not purged, therefore how canſt thou hope to be purged from thy filthyneſs any more, till he have cauſed his Fury to reſt upon thee?2 Peter. 2.20. for if after Men have eſcaped the pollutions of the World, through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jeſus Chriſt, they are again entangled therein and overcome, the later end is worſe with them than the beginning. Thou art that girdle marred by lying in the Babiloniſh waters of worldly Luſts, Jer. 13.7, 11.and now profitable for nothing, who didſt ſometime ſeem to cleave ſo cloſely to the Lord Jeſus Chriſt, as the girdle cleaveth to the loines of a man.Jer. 6.28, 29, 30. Ah! grievous Revolter! Reprobate ſinner! the Bellows are burnt, the Lead is conſumed in the Fire, the Founder hath melted thee in vain, for the wicked are not plucked away, thy wicked pride, and worldlineſs, and wantonneſs, &c. and now what canſt thou think O my Soul, but that the Lord hath rejected thee?Jerem. 2.5. But what Iniquity haſt thou found in thy God, that thou art gone far from Him, and that thou haſt walked after vanity and art become vain?Micha 6.3. Ah my Soul! What hath he done unto thee? or wherein hath he wearyed thee? teſtifie againſt him. No, no, I am ſure thou canſt not, thou dareſt not reprove him, Jerem. 2.19.But thine own wickedneſs ſhall correct thee, and thy Back-ſlidings ſhall reprove thee, know therefore and ſee that it is an evil thing and a bitter, that thou ha…t forſaken the Lord thy God, and therefore ſurely his fear is not in thee. What fruit ha…t thou then of this foul Apoſtacy whereof thou h…ſt ſo great reaſon to be now aſhamed? Thou didſt run well,Rom. 6.21. Gal. 5.7. Jerem. 2.11, 12, 13. who did hinder thee? Hath a Nation changed their Gods, whi h yet are no Gods, but thou haſt changed thy glory for that which doth not profit; Be aſtonyed at this, and be horribly afraid, yea, be very deſolate O my heart, For thou haſt committed two Evils, Thou haſt forſaken the Fountain of living waters, and hewed thee broken Ciſterns that can hold no water. O prophane Heart, Heb. 12.16, 17.that for a morſel of meat haſt ſold thy Birth-right! How ſain wouldeſt thou now inherit the bleſſing, couldſt thou but find a place for repentance,Ezek. 37.11. Lam. 3.18. Job 19.10. chap. 8.13. though thou ſhouldſt ſeek it never ſo carefully with tears? But alas for thy part, thine hope is cut off, thine hope hath God removed like a tree; and indeed what elſe can be expected, but that the Hypocrites hope ſhould pe iſh? O falſe heart, and flattering hope!Exod. 14.13. muſt I be thus deceived by you both which I ſo much truſted? I ſaid (with Moſes) of my ſtrong corruptions, when I thought I ſaw them drowned in the Red Sea of my Saviours Blood, I ſhall ſee them again no more for ever, and (with David in his proſperity,) I ſhall never be moved;Pſalm 30.6. Luke 10.15. and muſt I now, like Capernaum, after I have been thus lifted up to Heaven, be thrown down to Hell? and ſo everlaſtingly ſeperated from the bleſſed preſence of the dear Jeſus; whom I fondly thought I had loved better then my life, but now find I did love him leſs than my lazineſs, and my luſts; and indeed I am convinced that if any man loves any thing more than Chriſt, He is not worthy of him.Mat. 10 37.
But, ah my dear and bleſſed Jeſus, muſt thou and I thus part? part Eternally? Oh no! not for a World, no not for a World of Worlds. Why then, Pſal. 88 14.O Lord, caſteſt thou off my ſoul? why hideſt thou thy face from me? Yea rather, O Lord, why haſt thou made me to erre from thy wayes,Pſal. 63.14. Job 10.1. and hardened my heart from thy fear? yet will I leave my complaint upon my ſelf, and I will ſpeak in the bitterneſs of my ſoul; I know indeed that God cannot be tempted with evil,J…m. 1.13, 14. neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own luſt and enticed. Therefore, Pſal. 42.6, 7.O my God, my Soul is caſt down within me, and deep calleth unto deep at the noiſe of thy water ſpouts;Verſe 4. thy waves and thy billows are gone over me. When I remember theſe things, I powre out my ſoul in me; For I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the houſe of God, with the voice of joy and praiſe; I call alſo to remembrance my ſong in the night,Pſal. 77.6. and commune with mine own heart, and my ſpirit makes diligent ſearch;Job 16.12. I was at eaſe, but God hath brok…n me aſunder; He hath alſo taken me by the neck, and ſhaken me in pieces and ſet me up for his mark.Job 29.3, 4, 5. Oh that I were as in moneths paſt, as in the da…es when God preſerved me, when his Candle ſhined upon my head, and when by his light I walked through darkneſs, when the ſecret of God was upon my Tabernacle, and when the Almighty was yet with me.Pſal. 42.3. But now alas my tears are my meat day and night while my returning Corruptions and prevailing Luſts ſay to me continually where is thy God? As with a Sword in my bones do they reproach me,Verſe 9. while they ſay daily to me where is thy God? But w…ll the Lord caſt off for ever? will he be favourable no more? Is his mercy clean gone for ever? and doth his Promiſe fail for evermore? Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath …e in anger ſhut up his tender mercies?2 Sam 23.5. Surely this is my infirmity; but I will remember the …ears of the right hand of the moſt High. Although my heart be not ſo with God, yet hath he made with me a Covenant, an everlaſting Covenant, ordered in all things and ſure; I will therefore ſay unto God,Pſal. 42.8, 9. my rock why haſt thou forgotten me? why go I mourning becauſe of the oppreſſion of the Enemy? Yet the Lord will command his loving kindneſs in the day-time, and in the night his ſong ſhall be with mo,Verſe 11. and my Prayer unto the God of my Life. Why art thou caſt down, O my ſoul, and why art thou diſquieted within me? Hope thou in God for I ſhall yet Praiſe him, who is the health of my Countenance, and my God. O Lord though mine iniquities teſtifie againſt me, do thou for thy Name ſake, for my back-ſlidings are many,Jerem. 14.7. Verſe 20. and 21. Pſal. 42.2. Pſalm 63.2. I have ſinned againſt thee: But I acknowledge O Lord my wickedneſs, Do not abl or me, for thy names ſake, Remember, break not thy Covenant with me. For truly my Soul thirſteth for God, for the living God, to ſee his Power and his Glory, ſo as I have ſeen him in the Sanctuary.
Be watchful therefore, O mine heart, Rev. 3.2.and ſtrengthen the things that remain, and are ready to die, for here is yet a Pillar of Fire before thee, Neh. 9.12, 19. Jer. 3.24.the token of a Divine preſence with thee. Hath not God ſaid, Return ye back-ſliding Children, and I will heal your back-ſliding? Behold I come unto thee for thou art the Lord my God.
But ſurely if God will allow me to ſet my hope on high, He will yet have me to keep mine Heart low, for though he be ſtill ſaying,H…ſea 14.4. Jerem. 3.14. I will heal thy back-ſliding, and love thee freely, and again, Turn O back-ſliding Child for I am married unto thee; yet he ſtill feeds me like the Iſraelites in the Wilderneſs, as it were, from hand to mouth; The water of his Rock, not my Ciſtern, muſt ſupply me, and I be undone if it do not follow me;1 Cor. 10.4. I muſt fetch my food by daily Faith, my Manna out of the Heaven of his Promiſes, not by Plowing, for it is in the earth of my ſ…lf-Righteo…ſneſs, and legal performances; and my Medicine too (for all venomous bitings by all ſorts of fiery temptations) from him only, who for that end was lifted up upon the Croſs,Joh… 3.14. and ſtill is on the pole of the Goſpel, and ſtill muſt be in the THOUGHTS of my heart, as my only ſtrength, my health, my life, my All; And if at any time he allow me but a touch or taſte of the hoped for Cluſters, Numb. 13.23.'tis to feed not my high, but my diligent Thoughts; Phil. 3.12, 13.and to mind me that I have not already attained, either am already perfect, but that I preſs forward, forgetting the things that are behind, towards the mark for the price of the high Calling of God which is in Chriſt Jeſus. What ſhall I then ſay to theſe things? The Lord hath both ſpoken unto me, and himſelf hath done it, Iſaiah 38.15.I will go (with him though I go but) ſoftly all my years, even in the bitterneſs of my Soul.
So then the Thoughts of the Righteous pick up encouragement,Numb. 14.9. as the Good Spies, from their very difficulties, They are Bread for us; I will go with this man, ſaith Rebeckah; I will go with this Jeſus, ſaith the fixed Thought of heart; Though I go ſadly, yet I will go, I will go though but ſoftly in my ſouls bitterneſs all my years; Iſaiah 38.16.But yet O Lord, by theſe things men live, And in all theſe is the life of my ſpirit, ſo wilt thou recover me, and make me to live (ſo ſaith the gracious Heart.) And thus is the ſoul fed with Manna, aad led about many years, it may be, in the Wilderneſs of Anxiety;Deut. 8.2. And all this to humble, to prove, to know what is in the heart, and to do it good in the later end.
The end of the draught or ſcheme of Thoughts. 1. Wrought in converſion.And thus have I given you as briefly as I could, though more largely then I thought, a Scheme or draught, of ſuch Thoughts in man as do ordinarily flow from the Grace of God, as I have received from that ſure Word, that is a diſcerner of the Thoughts, and a diſcoverer as well as a diſcerner, and as I have known, and perhaps felt in ſome ſmall experience, And the Holy Ghoſt,Prov. 27.19. that knows all hearts, ſaith expreſly, As in water, face anſwers to face, ſo the heart of man to man.
Regenerate mans thoughts flowing from a new nature agree with other natural motions in three things.Sect. XII.
NOw becauſe as I have ſaid, The Regenerate mans thoughts are ſparks from a new Fire, fruits of a new heart, ſtirrings of a new Nature, Therefore it muſt needs be, that they partake with all natural motions in theſe Three points.
I. Facility. Natural Acts and Motions,1. Facility, Good thoughts delightful, if from a right principle. Prov. 2.10. If Nature be not oppreſſed (as ſometimes the New nature ſeems to be) are facile, yea pleaſing and delightful, as to eat, to drink, to ſleep, &c. So are right Thoughts to a Righteous perſon. When wiſdome entereth into thy heart, and knowledge is pleaſant unto thy ſoul, &c. A naughty heart is like a vitious ſtomach, thoſe very thoughts that are as an hony Comb, Prov. 27.7.or as pleaſant bread to others, do make it turn, as it were, at the very ſight of them; Go thy way Paul, for this time, I have no ſtomach to think of Righteouſneſs or Judgment to come; No, no,Acts 14.25. Felix his Thoughts were another way, ſuitable to his Corruption; He thought (ſaith the Text) there was no money coming, Verſe 26.and 'twas the thought of money that made Muſick in his Mind; But ſaith David of his God, not of his Mammon, My meditation of HIM ſhall be SWEET,Pſal. 124 34. I will be glad in the Lord. When the Miſer receives his Mammon, Oh how it glads him? nay he loves the Thought of it, when he cannot come at it; Nay, he can Think with delight of the Bills or Bonds, he can lay them in his boſome, that do but Name it, Money is his God, and Worldlineſs his Nature: So doth a gracious heart with ſweetneſs entertain the Thought of his God, nay hide his word in his very Heart; Pſal. 119.11.It goes down with him with delight, as his food when he is moſt hungry; Thy words were found, and I did eat them, Jer. 15.16.and they were to me the joy and rejoycing of mine Heart. The Bar drinks in words, but it is the heart that eats them, by ſetting the Thoughts to chew upon them. And as it is with a man that is in health, if he want his ſet meals, ſo is it with a good Heart, kept in good order, without many gripes, and ſecret gnawings, it cannot want its ſet MEDITATIONS, And ſurely it would be better with moſt Chriſtians then it is, were they but careful with Iſaac, to ſet a part ſome little time of the day for Meditation, who are ſo little able to ſay with David, O how love I thy Law! Pſal. …19.67.It is my MEDITATION all the day. And this leads me to the
Sect. XIII.
Frequency Davids thoughts good all the day. Pſal. 119 97. How to be underſtood.II. ANd that is Frequency. A good pulſe ſtrikes many a good ſtroke in a day, and ſo doth a good heart, as you may ſee in David, when he was in a good ſtate of ſoul health; you cannot think that he thought of nothing but Gods Law in the whole day, when he ſayes, It was his Meditation all the day; his Crown was lined with Cares, And his Head with Thoughts as other mens: But he would allow no Thought in the day contrary to the Law; He would order all his Thoughts in conformity and ſubordination thereto; And his Thoughts thereof were better pleaſing to him then all other Thoughts, He was in his Element when in ſuch Meditations; and reckoned ſo much of the day loſt, as wherein he was hurryed by Temptations, to any contrary cogitations: If a Bird fall into the water, 'tis not her Element, ſhe neither uſeth nor delighteth to be there; If a Mole get above ground, he is not where he would be, or is wont to be.Tryal what Thoughts thy Element. Pſalm 77.5. Ask thine heart ſeriouſly what Element it is that thy thoughts moſt uſe, and with moſt eaſe; (My ſoul ſhall be ſatisfied as with marrow and fatneſs when I think upon thee, when I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate upon thee, &c.) And thereby diſcern whether it be a Bird of Paradiſe, or a meer Mole, for to be carrnally minded is death, but to be Spiritually minded is life and peace. Romans 8.6.A bad man may have a Thought of God now and then, and a Thought for God (or the moſt are very much miſtaken.) But a David can ſay of his divine Thoughts, how great is the ſum of them? Gods Thoughts of him, and his Thoughts of God, and the reflection of his Thoughts upon Gods Thoughts, Pſalm 137.17.for,
Sect. XIV.
III.3. Perpetuity. THere is Perpetuity as well as Facility and Frequency in Natural acts and motions. The pulſe beats not only all the day, but all a mans dayes: ſo do good thoughts in a Godly mind. What a bleſſed frame was holy David in when he could never awake, but he found his pulſe beating Heaven-ward? when I awake I am ſtill with thee. Pſam 139.18. Pſalm 1.12.The bleſſed mans delight is in the Law of the Lord, and therein doth he meditate day and night. O happy He whoſe Thoughts are holy day and night, that is, continually.
I know Grace is lyable to its languiſhings, Grace may languiſh, ſoul pulſe intermit, as the natural. But good Thoughts never quite die.as well as Nature, and the ſouls pulſe to its Intermiſſions, as the bodies is, whereof more hereafter; only the Pulſe of Nature may ceaſe totally, nay it muſt, becauſe Nature it ſelf muſt expire; But Grace is a Caeleſtial, an Heaven-born principle, an Immortal Fire, which can never be extinguiſhed, but burns brighteſt when Nature goeth out,Pſal. 146.4. as in Jacob and Joſeph when they lay a dying: ſo good thoughts do uſually moſt flouriſh in that very day when other Thoughts periſh, Heb. 11.21, 22.the day of Death, and after Death eſpecially. And thus much for the firſt Tryal of Thoughts, whether Right or no, from their Original: