A Discourse Grounded on Proverbs, Part 1 · Trial 1

A Discourse Grounded on Proverbs · Part 1 · Trial 1

p. 87I. Tryal of Right Thoughts.

Sect. I.

First,

THen let us begin with thy Thoughts in their Original,1 Tryal ofthoughts is by their original. Good thoughts grow not in an evil heart: and ſo judge the streams, as near as we can to the Fountain head. Wouldeſt thou approve thy thoughts to be right Thoughts, ſuch as indeed are the Righteous mans Evidence, let me ask thee plainly how thou camest to thy Thoughts? have they their Riſe p. 88in thy ſelf?Luke 24, 38Luke 24:38 (why do Thoughts ariſe in your hearts?) then know they are but Carnal at beſt, for all that is born of fleſh is fleſh. John 3, 6John 3:6The heart I know is a Vine that is always bearing, a Fountain that is ever ſpringing up: and Thoughts are called the Fruit of the heart, as we ſaw before,Iſaia. 10.12 & (as it were) the ſtreams of the Heart, they proceed from it, Matt, 15.19ſaith Chriſt; but ſaith he,Matth 7.18Matt 7:18 a corrupt tree cannot bring forth good fruit, not a Fountain yield, James 3 12Jas 3:12ſaith the Apoſtle Iames, ſalt water and freſh. Now every natural heart is a corrupt tree, a Vine of Sodom, and therefore its Crouds of thoughts naturally are but the Cluſters of Gomorrah,Deu: 32 32 a troubled Spring or Sea rather, that cannot reſt, but is ever casting up mire and dirt. Iſaia 57.20Amongſt all the Unbelievers in the world, there is not one pure mind, therefore not one pure thought; Thus 1, 15for who can p. 89bring a clean thing out of an unclean? Job 14 4Job 14:4'Tis a vain and ignorant boaſting that I have obſerved in ſome, that have thanked God that they were never troubled with evil thoughts in all their days: ſayeſt thou ſo? then I dare tell thee that thou never yet waſt owner of one good one, …uch as God will own and accept for ſuch: That they think no body …ny hurt, who never truly …hought themſelves or others any good: ſurely there are none greater ſtrangers to good thoughts, than …uch as brag moſt of their good meanings, nay that can tell you …hey hope to ſaved by them. And …ow came they by them? why, …hey thank God▪ they have had …hem ever ſince they can remember, God forbid elſe. They have as …ood hearts to God, and think as well …f Ieſus Chriſt as the beſt of them, …hough they cannot ſpeak ſo well. Yet do but ask theſe of the New-birth, p. 90and you are unto them as a Barbarian, and ſpeak as it were in an unknown tongue, (as our Saviour to Nicodemus,) and ſhall onelyonly receive a frump or a frown for your freedom;Jam, 3, 3, 4 what do you think they ſtand in need to be Catechized? if you do, they thank you, they do not think ſo meanly of themſelves, and this is one of their good thoughts.

Sect. II.

No ſufficiency in our ſelves, for one right thought,BUt let me plead with thee, O man, thou that findeſt good Thoughts, as free as the Rode and as Common and eaſy as the high-way: Art thou greater th… the Apoſtle Paul, he ſaith expre… ly, that we are not ſufficient of ou… ſelves to Think any thing of O… ſelves. Therefore we muſt b… taken off of Our ſelves before w… can poſſibly Think one Rig… p. 91…hought. But our ſufficiency (ſaith …he Text) is of God. As we can…ot think at all Phyſically, not ex…rt one motion of the Mind in Thought, but by a ſufficiency of God, working by Nature: ſo much leſs can we think Morally, 2 Cor, 3.5 Amongſt all unbelievers not one pure thoughtThoughts good in a ſpiritual notion, in the account of God, but by his own ſufficiency working by Grace. To the unbelieving, (ſaith the ſame Apoſtle,) there is nothing pure, but even their very Mind is defiled; And if their Mind drop its uncleaneſs and defilement upon all about it, Titus 1.15Titus 1:15ſurely much more upon the thoughts, that lie next unto it Some men think their thoughts are certainly good, Reaſon why their thoughts trouble them not.becauſe they never trouble them. They do not complain of blaſphemous thoughts, and horrid injections as many do; And alas! the onelyonly Reaſon why the thoughts, the Treaſures of their Hearts, their p. 92goods are in peace, Luk. 11, 21Luke 11:21is becauſe the ſtrong Man Arm'd keeps the Palace, the Devil is Lord and Maſter there. But if ever that ſtronger one than he, Verſe 22the Lord Ieſus Chriſt, (by the weapons of that warfare tha… are ſpiritual and mighty through God, 2 Cor. 10, 52 Cor 10:5) had come and prevailed upon thee, 'tis ſtrange if all would have continued ſo quiet it thee; thou wouldeſt likely have ſeen troubles, and heard amazing noiſes in thy own Soul, for there would have been the pulling down of ſtrong holds, and this would have awakened thee ſure to purpoſe, and raiſed Commotions in thy Thoughts; for the very Firſt motions of Grace, as I ſaid before, and ſtirs, would have appeared there. The caſting down of ſome, the bringing in others into captivity to the obedience of Christ, who is ſet as for the riſing and falling of many in Iſrael, Luke 2, 24Luke 2:24ſo in the ſoul; the p. 93…houghts that thou wert best ac…ainted and pleaſed with, muſt …ave come tumbling down; and …e thoughts, whoſe faces thou …ver ſaweſt before, would have ſen up in their room, own …oughts muſt have been un…oughts, Old thoughts amongſt …her things, muſt have paſt away, 2 Cor. 5.272 Cor 5:27…d all things muſt have become new. …t the unrighteous forſake his …oughts, His Thoughts, that is,Iſaiah 55 7Isa 55:7 …houghts growing in corrupt na…es Garden, for Regeneration is …pecially called, a Renewing in … ſpirit of the Mind. Epheſ. 4, 23Eph 4:23Search the …riptures, and if things be not …s, then blame me, and think as …l as ever thou didſt of thy ſelf, …d as ill as ever thou canst of the …thor, for giving thy calm and …et thoughts any needleſs trou…; But alas Reader! be not …eived, God is not mocked; Gal. 6, 7, 8Gal 6:7Gal 6:8but if …an think himſelf to be ſomething p. 90when he is nothing, he deceives himſelf. Let me tell thee, thy thinking well of thy own thoughts, will no more make them good, than thy thinking thy ſelf ſuch, will make God to think thee ſo. And ye… believe it I beſeech thee, O Reader, that my end and deſign in all this is not to diſturb but to direc… thee. The Apoſtle delighted no… in making the Corinthians ſorry but that they ſorr…wed after a godl… ſort. 2 Cor. 7 92 Cor 7:9It is no pleaſure to me, to think that thy thoughts are wrong but deſirous I am to ſet them right and to help thee how to judg… rightly of them, and of thy ſelf b… them.

Sect. III.

Seing grace firſt ſtirres in thoughtsSEeing then, Reader, that … are now at the very root of … matter, and have tould th… once and again that the grace p. 95God firſt ſtirs in the Thoughts. Give me leave to lay before thee plain Scheme and Map of ſuch Thoughts as Divine Grace, doth …ſually work in true Penitents, of …uch Right Thoughts, as it doth …rſt give in to thoſe whom it will …ccept, and own as Righteous per…ons. And herein that I may the …ore diſtinctly proceed, I ſhall …remiſe ſomething, (Firſt,) Con…erning the Seaſon and Occaſion, …nd the Method, (Secondly,Premſſed a two things, occaſion & method of Gods working them) Of Gods working ſuch Thoughts as …heſe in the Heart and Mind of …an. In all which if thou wilt …o along with me, I truſt thou …ilt find both Scripture Evidence …nd Christian Experience to bear …hee Company.

p. 96Sect. IV.

Gods uſual ſeaſon to bring ſiners to Right thoughts (ſuch as for mad men to right minds)FOr the Seaſon that God take to bring Sinners to Righ… Thoughts, 'tis ſuch as the Pa… ſitian takes, to bring mad men t… Right Minds, (for even this gre… and Inward Change in Scriptu… is called foreign, a coming … our Right minds, Acts 3, 31 Repentance a comming to, Right minds.Acts 3:31ſo the word ſi… nifyes) when they have them u… der Chains, and in the dark. they be held in Cords of Afflictio… and bound in fetters; THEN ſheweth them their work, &c. … openeth their ear to Diſcipline, & For God ſpeaketh once, Job 3 68Job 3:68yea twice, y… man perceiveth it not; But inviſion of the night, (when he is ch… ſtened with pain upon his bed, Verſe 9, 10as there follows,Job 33.14 15Job 33:14 &c.) then he ope… eth the ears of men, and ſealeth th… inſtruction. Verſe 19In the day of adverſi… ſaith God,Verſe 16 Conſider, when t… p. 97…atriarchs were reduced to a ſore …rait, then they are brought to …hink ſeriouſly of their Sin againſt …heir Brother Ioſeph;Eccle. 7 …8Eccl 7:8 And 'twas …e that brought them into it, for …hat very end; ſo doth our hea…enly Ioſeph, Ieſus Chriſt,Gen. 42.81Gen 42:81 often …o for the very ſame purpoſe; …e ſends troubles oft times on the …utward, for the reducing of the …ner man; and ſtraitens the Gar…ſon, that he may take it in.1 Kin. 8 47.1 Kgs 8:47 …he Iſraelites by their Captivity …uſt be taught to Bethink them…lves,Luke. 15.…7.Luke 15:7 and ſo the Prodigal by his …amine. Or however, when the …ighty God takes the weapons of …e ſpiritual warfar into his own and, and hews men by his Prophets …d ſlays them by the words of his …outh, Hoſea 6, 5Hos 6:5and his Iudgements are as …e light that came upon Saul (in …s full earear) and ſtruck him the ground, Acts 9, 5Acts 9:5and a voice from …eaven with it, that ſtrikes him p. 98to the heart; Verſe 4, 5Soul, ſoul, what doſt thou mean by this hardening thy Heart againſt Heaven, and ſetting thy ſelf againſt God? Are thy heels harder than his pricks? canſt thou dwell with everlaſting burnings? Rom. 7 9Rom 7:9The Commandment comes, Sin revives, the falſe conceited Righteous perſon is ſtruck dead (I dyed, ſaith Paul) knows not what to think, who art tho… Lord? nor what to do, Lord wha… wouldeſt thou have me to do? Acts 9, 5Acts 9:5ſuch I ſay, is the ſeaſon and occaſion that God takes for reducing ſinners to Right Thoughts.Verſe 6

Grace not to be limited,I know indeed that Grace is a Soveraign agent, and works as i… will: ſometimes It ſlips the Loc… of the heart, Acts 16, 15Acts 16:15as Lydia's, with littl… noiſe, and ſo makes room fo… Right Thoughts there.Sometimes ſlips the lock of the heart with little noiſe It may may poſſibly ſteal into the heart if I may ſ y ſo, like Ioſephs cup int… Benjamins ſack, And he, tha… p. 99h…th i…, wonders when, or how, I… firſt came thither. All women that do well too, have not the ſame troubles and pains in Child-bearing, that the moſt have; And ſo it is alſo in the new birth. And if thou be one that canſt ſay indeed, that there is a Change in thee from what thou waſt by Nature, one thing thou knowest that whereas thou waſt born blind, now thou ſeeſt, John 9 25John 9:25(as the man in the Goſpel,) The grace of God hath brought thee to thy right ſight, a Right mind, Right thoughts; but by what Sickneſs, Sermon, Canſt thou ſay I was born blind but God has brought me to Right ſight, mind, & thoughts with leſs adoAffliction, Conviction, it began with thee, thou canſt not ſay; which is the caſe of ſome (eſpecially ſome ſuch that have been all their lives, much under the power of the reſtraining Grace of God,Bleſs God for the thing Repine not at the manner. and of a ſtrict and holy education) let me exhort thee rather to magnify that Grace that hath appeared p. 100to thee, and (taught thee to deny ungodlineſs, &c.) then to repine becauſe thou doſt not know, or by what means and gradations, the work of God hath grown up in thy heart, or to deny what God hath done for thy Soul. Gen. 44.13Gen 44:13But yet withal this I muſt adde, that as it is obſerved that the comming of the Cup into the Sack, in an unknown way, left them in the more trouble and perturbations afterwards, though it came from a friendly hand; And thoſe women that have leſs fore-pains, then others, have many times greater After-paines, (as they call th…m) So they that have leſs ſignal Spiritual troubles preceding their converſion, and have known leaſt of the terrours of the Lord, 2 Cor: 5, 11are by ſo much the more full of Anxiety many times almoſt all their days, full of doubtful thoughts whether they were p. 101ever ſavingly wrough… upon, becauſe not wrought upon as ſuch, and ſuch; Haunted, many times with Hideous thoughts, and Temptations to Atheiſm, Blaſphemy. &c. which m…ke them even weary of life, and afraid of death, and yet may be very pretious in the ſight of God, and dear to Ieſus Chriſt.

Sect. V.

ANd as Gods uſual Seaſon is the time of trouble, of ſpiritual trouble, to bring men to Right Thoughts: To remember God, to Conſider the days of old, Pſal: 77, 2▪ … Verſe 16to commune with their own hearts, to make dilige…t ſearch into their own ſpirits, to take notice of their Infirmities, to Remember the years of the right hand of the most High; Verſe 10to Remember the works of the Lord, Verſe 11and to meditate of his doings, &c. p. 102(All which is Right-Thought-work, and which the Pſalmiſt was ſet upon in the day of his Trouble. Pſal: 77:2) So the Method that God ordinarily uſeth,Gods ordinary method to bring to right thoughts by ſetting home ſome particuler ſin. Is, to bring to their thoughts ſome one particular S n, and to preſent it to their Souls view in all its ugly ſhape and monſtrous deformity, with its heightening circumſtances, and helliſh horrour, that, like the tail of a Prodigious Comet, it draws after it; now as Ghoſts are moſt terrible and confounding when they appear in the Dark, ſo is Sin when it ſtares a man in the face in his time of trouble. Thus the Patriarchs were ſtruck with the apaling thought of their ſavage cruelty to their innocent Brother when themſelves were in Diſtreſs; Gen. 42.21Gen 42:21no doubt, they had other Sins to trouble them, but this firſt flew in their face. Saul, with the thought of his furious perſecuting of Jeſus.Acts 9 4Acts 9:4 Thus p. 103ſome for telling a known Lie, others for ſome Theft, or known Fraud, others for pro…haning the Lords-Day, others for ſome prophane Oath, others for Diſobedience to Parents, And ſome, though few, like Mary Magdelene, for the foul fin that brings a wound and a diſhonour, Prov: 6.33and a reproach that is hardly wiped away. So that as men ordinarily ſingle out ſome one ſpecial Sin to ſet their heart upon, though they entertain and practice all the reſt, ſo God ſingles out ſome ſpecial Sin to fix their thoughts upon, Roma. 7 8 with 24,and thereby to bring them in due time to ſight and ſenſe of the whole Body of Death; nay ſometimes when men (by a blameleſs appearance, and moral converſation) have got the good thoughts of other men, and their own much more, truſting (as Chriſt ſpeaks) in themſelves, Heb 3.1 Luke 18 6Heb 3:1Luke 18:6that they are righteous, God ſuffers p. 104them to fall into ſome groſs act of Sin,God ſometimes ſuffers civil men to fall into ſome foul act …o diſver to them the Plague of the heart perhaps Drunkeneſs, perhaps making a mock at Godlineſs to pleaſe vile company, perhaps Perjury, or ſome other palpable act of wickedneſs, that by ſuch a riſing in the fleſh, he may bring them to know, and to bethink themſelves of the Plague of the heart that Scripture ſpeaks of.1 Kin. 8.381 Kgs 8:38

Indeed I have ſometimes obſerved,Sometimes thoughts ar in an uproar, troubled, and diſtinctcaus not known: ſome perſons troubled with a ſtrange unuſual throng and croud of Thoughts, Sermons troubled them, and Sins troubled them, but their Thoughts were like that confuſed concourſe in the Acts, of which no diſtinct account could be given, and the Aſſembly knew not why they were come together. Acts 19.32 Verſe 40 Yet God ſometimes out of this chaos draws a new Creation. As in Gen,Acts 19:32And as ſuch a croud of thoughts have been thus in an uproar for ſome ſpace of time, and they knew not diſtinctly why, ſo a little time hath brought it to p. 105they know not what, nothing for good hath come of it. And yet ſometimes the Allwiſe and powerful grace of God, even out of ſuch a Chaos of confuſion,Reduceth thoughts to proper places and things to order. is pleaſed to draw a New Creation, reducing things to their proper places, and thoughts to their right order.

Sect. VI.

BUt Generally,Reve. 3.20:Rev 3:20 when Grace firſt knocks at the door of the heart,Pro 18.14Prov 18:14 and finds the Sinner in diſtreſs,Acts …:37 wounded in Spirit that he cannot bear it,Pſal. 38.4Ps 38:4 prickt at the very heart, (the preſſing ſenſe of Sin lies upon him, and goes over him as a burthen too heavy for him;) …t brings him to ſpeak within himſelf; Or,the Scheme of a Converts firſt thought. Lamen. 3 1 (which is all one) to Think thus, or to this effect;

I am the man that have ſeen Affliction by the R…d of his anger; and now I ſtand here a miſerable p. 106Malefactour before the Lord, who perfectly knows all my ſecrets, and infinitely hates all my Sins: My Conſcience hales me to his Barre, for my ſin ha… found me out, Num▪ 32:23Num 32:23Gen 42:21Gen 42:21And I am veri… guilty concerning this thing ſhould I then either hide my ſin or harden my ſelf againſt God who ever did either of theſe,Pro: 28:3 Job 9.4Job 9:4 an… proſpered? This then is my proper ſtation, though my feet l… hurt with fetters, and the Iro… enters into my very Soul, thoug… the chain of Gods Indignatio… be heavy upon me, Iſica… ▪ 7, 9yet I muſt bea… it, becauſe (it is my own chain… I have ſinned againſt him. Excuſ… my ſin. Alas! I cannot; I kne… my Masters will, and knew it t… be Holy, Luk. 12:47 Rom. 7.12 Malac, 1, 6Luke 12:47Rom 7:12Iuſt, and Good, and di… it not; I call'd him Lord, ye… fear'd him not; I knew he for… bad the thing I did, yet did it; I knew he looked on me p. 107…nd yet I did it; I knew he would call me to an account for it, …nd yet I did it. Accuſe my Maſter, Alas! I dare not; No no,Ja. 1.13:14 He tempted me not, but I was drawn away of my own luſt and enticed, my own luſt, I may call …t ſo, as much as I may call my Heart my own; an Heart ſo vile, but yet my own; ſuch a Fountain of Poyſon, ſuch a Cage of every unclean and hateful Bird; an heart, nay an Hell; yea and worſe to me then all the Devils there, I ſhould bely them, as bad as they be, ſhould I ſay otherwiſe; an heart ſo deſperately wicked, Jerem: 17.9that if all the men of the world had told me that I had had ſuch a heart, or ſhould have done ſuch a thing, I ſhould with diſdain have replyed (with Hazael) am I a dog? or a Devil?2 Kin, 8:13 that I ſhould do ſuch a thing; Nay, when Gods own word told me, p. 108till this curſed Sin told it me, could not have thought that carryed ſuch a heart about m… Is this the heart I ſo long truſted? that I ſo often excuſed that I ſo much applauded? I this the honeſt, the good heart the heart full of good meanings the heart that thought no harm O miſtery of iniquity! O H… of Hypocriſy! and unſearchable depth of deceipt! Well deep as thou art, God hath no… ſearched out thy deep things, O m… Soul! and now my Sin is eve… before me, Pſalm 51, 3Ps 51:3and my puniſhmen… is following hard after me, S… lies at my door; My fatal moment is ſet, Gen 4 7Gen 4:7that I cannot paſs it and yet ſecret, Job 14, 5Job 14:5that I canno… know it, whether in the evening, Mal. 24:42or at midnight, or at coc… crowing; Mar. 13 35Mark 13:35onelyonly this I know that after death (come it wh… it will) comes Iudgement; Hebr. 9.27Heb 9:27Iudgment p. 109unavoidable, before a Iudge impa…tial and unexorable; The Crime naked;Hebr: 4.13 The Priſoner ſpeechleſs; The Sentence ſpeedy, The Executi…n certain; The Torment intole…able,Mat. 22.12Matt 22:12 yet muſt be born; without any eaſe, yet without all end; through millions of millions of ages;Mar, 18:13 nay without help or hope of help to all Eternity; And this not a Phantaſie, but a greater reality. …hen what I ſee with my outward eyes; nor a forrain con…ernment, but thy own caſe, O …y own Soul!

Sect. VII.

VNderUnder ſuch doleful thoughts as theſe, the penſive Sinners Life (for ſome part of more or leſs, even as it pleaſeth …od) is ſpent with Grief; Pſal. 31.1…Ps 31:1as Da…s, yea ſometimes whole years p. 110with ſighing, ſo that his very strength faileth becauſe of his Iniquity, and his very bones are conſumed. But then the working thoughts do not thus leave the ſpiritual mourner, But in ſuch lik… ſort as this they do proceed.

Alas then! What ſhall do? Shall I think of giving m… overwhelmed Spirit, my akin… Heart ſome preſent eaſe b… breaking away from Gods Ba… But whither, O whither ſhall I g… ſhall I fly out again to my curſe… courſes, and riotous company? O… theſe have been my Bane alre… dy, and me thinks I ſtill ſee u… on the wall, Daniel 5, 5Dan 5:5over against the pl… where I too lately ſate among them, the Fingers of a mans ha… writing and drawing up a bloo… Indictment againſt me, I reme… ber the Wormwood and the Ga… the Dart, …am. 3, 19that then and th… p. 111ſtruck through my Liver, Prov, 7, 23and the wound that hath been feſtring ever ſince becauſe of my fooliſhneſs. Pſal, …8, 5Shall I turn me then to the harmleſs creatures, and beg of them ſome relief? Alas! my Sins have engraven vanity there, with a pen of Iron, yea,Eccleſ. … 11Eccl 11 Vexation of Spirit, with the very point of a Diamond. Shall they eaſe my Servitude and cruel Bondage, who have wearyed them with mine Iniquities, Iſaia ….…and made them ſerve with my Sins, yea, and God in them? ſhall they help my groaning, who have made them all groan under the bondage of my corruption? No, no,Rom. 8 21 and 22Rom 8:21Rom 8:22 If I ſay my bed ſhall comfort me, Job. 7.13, 14Job 7:13Job 7:14or my Couch eaſe my complaint, then am I ſcarred with viſions, and terrifyed through dreams. Sometimes I forget, Pſal. 102, 4Ps 102:4ſometimes I fear to eat my bread, leaſt the Morſel ſhould prove a Meſsenger of Death to me, p. 112and haſten me away to the place from whence I ſhall not return. Sometimes God holdeth mine ey waking that I cannot ſleep; Pſalm 77 4Ps 77:4and ſometimes I dare not, leaſt I ſhould awake no more, till Fire and Brimſtone are about mine eares. In vain then do I think of running away from God, for whither ſhall I flee from his preſence? Pſal. 139 7Ps 139:7Shall I think then of fleeing to him, and of bowing the knee before him? Alas! He is a conſuming Fire, Heb. 12 29Heb 12:29and the Mountains ſmoak, and the Hills flow down at his preſence. Iſaia 63, 3Yet have I heard that the God of Iſrael is a merciful God, I will put a Rope upon my head, 1 Kin. 20.311 Kgs 20:31and make my Supplication to my Iudge. But Alas! wherewithal ſhall I come before him, Job 9 15Job 9:15and bow my knee to the moſt High? Mic. 6, 6, 7Mic 6:6Mic 6:7Shall I think of Pilgrimages or Penances, of coming before him with burnt Offerings? to give him, If p. 113I had them, thouſands of Rams, or ten thouſands of Rivers of Oyl? or my firſt born for my tranſgreſſion, or the fruit of my body for the ſin of my Soul? Pſal. 9 50Ps 9:50Will he take any Bullock out of my Houſe, or Hee Goats out of my Fold? No, no,Deut. 4.24Deut 4:24 He is a Iealous God, and Iealouſly regards not any Ranſom, Prov: 6.35or many Gifts; He will by no means clear him that is guilty, Exod. 34 7Exod 34:7and I dare not plead Not Guilty, though I die for it. Shall I think then of ſtretching out my hand in the way of ſome Legal Righteouſneſs and ſelf-wrought Reformation, to take hold of the Tree of Life, Gen. 3:22 and 24Gen 3:22Gen 3:24now that I have eaten of the forbidden Tree? Alas! behold Cherubims with a Flaming Sword, blocking up the way of the Covenant of Works, Gal: 2:16ſo that by the works of the Law ſhall no fleſh be justifyed. Alas! my Sighs for Sin, are an Impure vapour; and p. 114my Tears for Sin, need waſhing! my Righteouſneſſes are filthy rags, and like the cloaths of a removed Woman; Iſaia, 64, 6If I ſhould juſtify my ſelf, Job 9, 20Job 9:20my own mouth would condemn me, and prove me perverſe; And I have too long already added this ſin of perverſe Rebellion to my other wretchedneſs, that I have gone about to eſtabliſh my own Righteouſneſs, Rom, 10, 3and have not ſubmitted to the Righteouſneſs of God.

But yet O thou pure God, haſt not thou ſaid that there is Forgiveneſs with thee, Pſa. 130.4Ps 130:4that thou mayeſt be feared? Is there no Balm in thy Gilead?Jer. 8, 22Jer 8:22 is there no Phyſician there? But this very day there was a Meſſenger of thine with me,John 4.29John 4:29 of a truth he was none but thine, for he told all that was in my heart, is not this the Interpreter? Job 33 23Job 33:23the one of a thouſand? He told me withal from thy own p. 115mouth, that though I could not, yet thou hadſt found a Ranſom, and given a Name, Job 33.24Job 33:24though but One under Heaven whereby men might be ſaved; Acts 4.…2Acts 4:2Who came not to call the Righteous, Matt. 9.13 and 18, 11Matt 9:13Matt 18:11but Sinners to Repentance; to ſeek and to ſave that which was loſt; That help was laid upon him, and that he is mighty, Pſal. 19, 19 Hebr. 7, 25Ps 19:19Heb 7:25even able to ſave to the utmost. That therefore there was hope in Iſrael concerning my ſoul, a poſsibility, nay a probability, nay a Certainty that if I would agree quickly even while I am in the way, Matt. 5 25Matt 5:25acquaint now my ſelf with God, I ſhould be at peace: Job 22, 21Job 22:21That thou art not onelyonly Reconcileable, but in Christ reconciling the world to thy ſelf; 2 Cor. 5, 19 Verſe 202 Cor 5:19And therefore as though thou wert beſeeching me by Him (thine Ambaſsadour) He did pray me in Chriſts stead, that I would be reconciled to God; And O my Soul was moved p. 116within me at that word; ſhall the Iudge, thought I (as it were) petition? and not I, the Offender entertain the motion? nay catch at the words (as Benhadads ſervants,… Kin. 20.23) and put my mouth in the auſt …f there may be hope.Lam. 3, 29Lam 3:29

But then withal he told me, That Chriſt muſt be Lord as well as Ieſus; Zach. 6.13Zech 6:13a Prieſt indeed, but a Prieſt upon his throne; Rom. 3, 27Rom 3:27That Faith was not Libertiniſme, but a Law, Mat 13 45 and 46 and 19.21Matt 13:45Matt 13:46Matt 19:21That all muſt be ſold, and not a farthing would be abated, if I would buy the Pearl of great price; chap 36, 24That there was a dear ſelf to be denyed; A daily Croſs to be taken up, A Crucifyed leader to be followed, Hebr. 3, 15 and 10.30Heb 3:15Heb 10:30a ſevere example to be imitated; No time to be delayed before I began, (to day if I would hear his voice, &c.) nor looking back (with Lots Wife)Luke 17 32Luke 17:32 to be endured, after I had once begun. Wherefore he charged me p. 117in thy Name, before I went farther, to ſit down, Luke 19, 28Luke 19:28and conſider the Coſt.

But O the conſternation that this new Thought breeds in my perplexed Spirit! I had almoſt ſaid in my heart, like Agag, Isa. 15 3…Isa 15:3the bitterneſs of death is over; Alas! my Sea ſick ſoul would fain have been at ſhore any way, though ſhe ventured a drowning for it; But now I ſee there is no remedy but I muſt out again into the tempeſtuous Ocean. But O the unexpreſſible torment of a divided diſtracted mind! Alas the contrary ſtruglings in my poor ſoul,Gen. 2….22Gen 2:22 as if there were two Nations there! One throng of Thoughts breaks in Impetuouſly, did not we tell thee from the very firſt,Iſai. 57.10Isa 57:10 ſilly ſoul,Luke 19 21Luke 19:21 that there is no hope in God for thee? we knew that he was an austere Lord whatever others might tell thee, that his p. 118ſayings were hard, ſo that none could bear them; And ſhouldſt thou ſet out, thou couldſt never hold out, and ſo thy laſt end would would be worſe than thy beginning; John 6, 60 2 Pet. 2.20 21John 6:602 Pet 2:20And now thou mayeſt find our words true; Come, come, there is no hope, Jerem. 2.25Jer 2:25no: but we will throw up all, Let us eat and drink, for to morrow we must die: Iſai. 22, 13Isa 22:13did not we tell thee that theſe Micajahs though, at firſt, they might ſeem to ſooth thee in ſome flattering hopes,1 Kin. 22, 81 Kgs 22:8 yet would never propheſy good concerning thee?

But let not thy heart ſay ſo, ſaith a contrary thought, And ſo flies (with indignation) in the face of the former, And behold a Troop cometh after it, which when it hath forc't them to give ſome ground, This new Troop ſeizeth upon mine heart, and ſpeaks thus to it.

p. 119Sect. VIII.

VNgrateful ſinner,Rom. 5.8Rom 5:8 is this thy kindneſs to thy friend (that herein commendeth his love to thee in that whilst thou wert an enemy he dyed for thee) that thou art ſtill liſtening to the curſed Off-ſpring of that old and evil heart of unbelief that ever was,Hebr. … 1.Heb 1 and ever will be, for departing from the living God? who, had he had a mind to deſtroy thee, might have done it,Judg. 13, 2.Judg 13:2 and never had ſhewn thee ſuch things as theſe. He took upon himſelf the form of a ſervant; And he ſtill waiteth, Phil. 2, 7Phil 2:7that he may be gracious; Iſai, 30, 18He ſtretcht forth his arms, to open thee a way to his Boſome love, upon the Croſs; Iſaia. 65, …and he ſtretcheth out his hands again to thee, in the Preaching of the word. It hath been ſaid Ask, and have; 'tis now, Take, Matt. 26, 26Matt 26:26and have; Take, eat, this is my body p. 120broken for thee: Rev. 3, 20Rev 3:20Salvation knocks, 'tis but thy opening and the work is done.

A work indeed, ſaith the drooping ſoul; which before it be done, I am like for all this to be undone; 'tis but taking! but opening? a ſad BUT, God knows, for me who am weak, and cannot: Vile, and dare not. Alas what have Dogs to do with Childrens bread? ſhould I preſume,Mat: 25, 26 thinking to believe, and Blaſpheme, thinking to pray; call Chriſt my Saviour,Revel: 2:9 and God my Father, and be rejected of both, O whither ſhould I make my ſhame to go? No, no, had I an Hand fit to receive ſuch a Gueſt, gladly would I go through Fire and Water to open the door to Jeſus, and take him with ten thouſand welcomes into my Soul.

And is it ſuch preſumption, p. 121ſaith a thought on the other hand, and ſuch pride to be dutiful and obedient (for this is Gods Commandment that thou believe on Ieſus Chriſt) what pride,1 Joh 4:1…1 John 4:1 what preſumption then is it to be undutiful and diſobedient? He that believeth not, the wrath of God abideth on him. And wilt thou needs be damned, that thou mayſt have the credit of being modest, and going mannerly to Hell? Thou ſaveſt, depart from me, for I am a ſinful man! Why,Luke 5, 8Luke 5:8 he is the Phyſician, Matt: 9, 12what ſhould he do with thee, if thou wert not ſick? chapt: 8, 8Thou art not worthy Grace ſhould come under thy Roof; neither would it be Grace if thou wert worthy, for if it were of works, (ſaith the Apoſtle) it were no more grace. Rom, 11, 6But whilſt thou ſpeakeſt thy Fears and diſmal dread of preſumption, didſt thou never hear of ſuch a Sin … p. 122as deſpair? preſumption indeed, were it ſo, might undo thee; but bold and blaſphemous deſpair, (which thou thinkeſt modeſt and humble) labours to undo Ieſus Chriſt. Other ſins make work for Chriſt who came not to call the righteous but ſinners to repentance; Matth. 9, 13Matt 9:13but black deſperation ſhuts him out of work, chap. 13, 58as 'tis ſaid, he did not many works there, and 17, 20(that is, in his own Countrey) becauſe of their unbelief. And dost thou thus requite the Lord? fooliſh ſinner, and unwiſe! as to ſpill the Wine of his precious bloud, in thy proud humility and Impudent Modeſty (like water upon the ground,) and that for no other reaſon than this, that he offers it to thee that haſt no money, Iſaia: 55, 1nor price: Job 15, 11Job 15:11Muſt the Conſolations of of God needs be ſmall with thee, that thy modeſty may be great? Thou haſt no money, but haſt p. 123…hou mind? thou haſt no deſert, …ut haſt thou no deſire? Chriſt …ath a healing hem in his gar…ent for thee,Matt, 9, 20 and 14, 36 be thy Iſſue never …o foul, ſo ſhameful,Mar: 5, 25 Verſe 17 ſo invete…ate, If thy deſires be creeping towards him, while that Iſſue of mine continues Running; Zach. 9, 11 Mar. … 27Zech 9:11Break …en, O priſoner of hope, through …he throng of all thy contradict…ng Thoughts, and ſteal at the …eaſt one bleſſed touch, till thou …ind vertue going out of him. chapt: 9, 3…Come, Come, The Spirit ſaith Come, and the Bride ſaith Come, …nd let him that heareth ſay come, And let him that is athirst come, …nd whoſoever will, Rev. 22, 17Rev 22:17let him take …f the water of Life freely Now …e that thou refuſe not him that …peaks from Heaven.Heb. 12, 25Heb 12:25

But Alas thinks my Soul, …fter all this, I ſadly fear, that …f Chriſt would indeed accept me, I ſhould never be able to accept p. 124Chriſt; I find now 'tis hard thing to be a Chriſtian;Acts 26, 38Acts 26:38 thought I had been almoſt perſuaded; Num: 13 28 …5, …but O the ſons of Anak… The walled Towns in the way … the Croſs! the Yoke! not a Lus… not a Thought, not a Word, n… a Look, in all the remainder … my life, but by Law? Alas who can bear it? I dread to beg… to draw, leaſt I ſhould dra… back, and better then I had nev… known the way of truth; Heb. 10 38Heb 10:38I kno… thy Soul hath no pleaſure in ſuch O Lord,Iſai: 38, 4 I am now oppreſſed u… dertake for me! I would believ… my God, but cannot, help th… my unbelief! I would take thy yo… upon me, Mark 9, 24Mark 9:24but I dare not; for have been a Bullock unaccuſtom… to the Yoke, … …1:18But turn thou me a… I ſhall be turned, and thou ſhalt … the Lord my God: I ſee, Lord, I muſt have my yoke which way ſoever I turn m… p. 123ſelf; Sins and Satans I have too long born; And ſhould I die under thine, I cannot bear the thought of going back to theirs; For I am ſure to die, under theirs. I am indeed in a great ſtraight; 2 Sam. … …let me now fall into the hand of the Lord for with the Lord there are mercyes, Pro: 12, …but as for Satan and Sin the mercyes of theſe are cruel.

Sect. IX.

CAſt out then the She…e Anchor of thy hope O thou afflicted, toſſed with tempeſt, Iſaia. 54, …and not comforted; and caſt …t O my ſoul, …s near as thou canſt,Heb, 22, 19 into that within the Veil; If thou venture not on Jeſus Chriſt, thou periſh…ſt; And if thou doſt, thou canſt but periſh; If he ſave thee alive, thou ſhalt live, 2 Kin: …And if he kill thee, thou canſt but die;

There have been high and hainous p. 126and (in their own eyes) th… very chief of ſinners, 1 Tim: 1, 15waſhed, juſt… fyed, … Cor. 6, 1…ſanctifyed, in the name o… the Lord Ieſus, and by the ſpirit … God, yea that have been ſet fort… even for a PATTERN to all th… ſhould afterward believe on him who not onelyonly ORDAINETH pe… for us, 1 Tim. 1, 161 Tim 1:16Iſai: 26:12but alſo worketh all ou… Works in us; Wherefore … thou bleſſed Ieſus, with fea… and with trembling, I caſt an… roul my ſelf upon thee, And … I periſh, Heſt: 4 16I will periſh at thoſe fea… that were therefore pierced, tha… whilſt I put my fingers into th… print of the Nailes, John 20.27John 20:27the wea… hand of my Faith may have th… better hold.

Sect. X.

LO here the Reſtleſs Mind o… Man toucht with the Loa… stone of Divine Grace, trembling p. 127… wavering, ſeeking reſt but finding …one till the thoughts fix upon the …tar out of Iacob,Mum 24 17 the Lord Ieſus …hriſt! Lo here the Heavenly …onduct of Divine light (newly …riſen in the mind of man)Matth … … bring…g his Thoughts from a far coun…ey, and never leaving them till … leave them in the very place …here the Holy Child lies, Verſe 9The …weet boſom of the Fathers love. …o here the Celeſtial Call, Iſaiah 4… …Isa 4raiſing … the Righteous man from the Eaſt …is Native Countrey, or (if you …ill) natural condition) And …inging him to Gods foot, Acts 11 23Acts 11:23with full …rpoſe, Heb 11 19Heb 11:19and fixed Thought of …eart, (ſhould opportunity of return…g into the old Countrey, The old …ate, The other Gods on the other …de of the Flood) ſerve never ſo …ir, yet) never by the Grace of …od, to return unto them more; …eaving to Chriſt for fear of …ving of him, or being left by p. 128him, Leaning on its beloved, th… it may not be loſt any more in th… old Wilderneſs, Cant. 8 5Song 8:5the perplexin… maze of its old unbelieving tho… ghts; faſtening it ſelf upon him that it may by no means be ſh… ken off by him, with ſuch me… tal ſpeakings as theſe.

Ruth 2 14Ruth 2:14Intreat me not to leave thee, to return from following aft… thee; neither ſay thou to m… let me go; Ah my Ieſus, I wi… let all go, rather then let thee g… for I ſhould let infinitely mo… than the Worlds All go, in lettin… thee go,Luke 9 25Luke 9:25 I ſhould looſe my ſelf looſing thee, and be caſt awa… and that too in the very ſight Harbour. No, no, my heart fixed, O Chriſt, my heart is fixe… whither thou goest I will go; b… to thy Crown, Ruth 2 16 17Ruth 2:16or to thy Croſ… and where thou lodgeſt I will lodg… be it a Paradiſe or a Priſon: T… people ſhall be my people, (thoug… p. 129the world hate them.) And thy God ſhall be my God, (notwithſtanding all the ungodlineſs that is in the world, and the world of ungodlineſs that is in my heart, where thou dyeſt I will die,Rom. 6 …Rom 6 and there will I be buryed;Verſe 6 thy death ſhall mortify my members that are upon earth; My Luſts ſhall thy Croſs kill, and thy Grave burie; Nay,Col. 3, 3.Col 3:3 God forbid that death ſhould part, but more cloſely, yea unſeperably, eternally unite thee and me, And ſo ſhall I ever be with the Lord.

And thus have you ſeen the returning Shulamite; Cant. 4:1…Song 4:1and what will you ſee in the Shulamite, but as it were the company of two Armies? On the one hand the ſtruglings of unbelief, on the other, the work of Faith with power, till at length the houſe of David grows ſtronger and ſtronger, 2 Theſ. 1:1…2 Thess 1:1and the houſe … Saul grows weaker and weaker, p. 130Old thoughts paſs away,Iſai: 23 33 and new prevail,Gen. 32:2:28Gen 32:2Gen 32:28 the lame divides the ſpoil, the halting Iacob becomes a Prince with God, the mourner is comforted, the warfare accompliſhed, Iſai. 40 1.2Isa 40:1Isa 40:2the ſin pardoned, Chap: 42, 3the bruiſed reed lifts up its hanging head, the ſmoaking flax breaks out into a flame; In one word, In the multitude of the thoughts within, Gods comforts they delight the Soul.Pſal. 94 19Ps 94:19

And thus the ſoul falling into a place where, all this while, two contrary Seas have met, Acts 2:41Acts 2:41runs at length a ground on the land of uprightneſs: Pſa. 143.10Ps 143:10where the fore-part, the Thought that preſseth forward toward the Lord Ieſus Chriſt, ſticks faſt and remaines unremoveable, while the hinder part is broken with the violence of waves, O bleſſed Heart-breaking, O bleſſed ſtorm, that drives the tumbling Thoughts upon this ſhore!Pſ… 107, 30Ps 107:30 well mayſt thou be glad becauſe p. 131thou art quiet, for God hath brought thee to thy deſired Haven.

O ſweet ſerenity,1 Pet. 1.8 Phil. 4, 71 Pet 1:8Phil 4:7 Ioy unſpeakable, peace paſsing all underſtanding, that now keeps the heart and mind! yea the heart, by the MIND; flowing down like the pretious ointment from the head of Aaron to the skirts of his garment, Lu 2.29 3…perfuming and embalming, by the thoughts of the mind, all the inferior powers of the Soul and affections of the heart; That the former can now preſent unto the latter, even a deaths head without horrour, nay with amiableneſs in its Aſpect, whilſt the Soul can think with Simeon, Lord now letteſt thou thy ſervant depart in peace, Pſal. 133, …Ps 133for mine eys have ſeen thy ſalvation. So that hardly could the Convert now be kept from impatient deſiring to be diſſolved and to be with Christ, but that he THINKS withal… p. 132of ſomething to be done for Chriſt before he die, Pſal. 51.13 Luke 22, 32Ps 51:13Luke 22:32of teaching tranſgreſſours Gods ways, that ſinners may be converted: of ſtrengthening Brethren: 2 Cor. 1, 42 Cor 1:4of comforting others with the ſame conſolations, Phil, 1.23and ſo he haſteneth to be doing, that he may alſo haſten to be dying.

Sect. XI

BUt Alas! Theſe Thoughts cannot always hold without interruption. This brood of Travailers dig up wells as they go, Pſal: 84.5And the Philiſtines follow after as faſt as they can,Gen, 2…, 5 to ſtop them up again with earth and ſtones: worldlineſs and earthlineſs, deadneſs and dulneſs return and repoſſeſſes the Mind and Thoughts of the eager Convert, and threaten to undo whatever Grace hath been a doing. So that the confident young Chriſtian (who thought that if p. 123he had but once gotten the Red Sea on his back, his Saviours blood betwixt him and his ſoul oppreſſours, there would be but a few dayes direct and eaſy journey, through the Wilderneſs of the World, to the L…nd of Canaan, Deut 8.15Deut 8:15) falling amongſt many fierie Serpents, violent and virulent temptations and luſts (not thought of at his firſt ſetting out) and being bitten by them, he proceeds as more heavily ſo more humbly; And his After-thoughts are ſuch as theſe.

Now wo is me that I ſhould ever put my hand unto Gods plough, Luke 9 62Luke 9:62and thus look back. O why was I not contented to have dwelt on the other ſide of Jordan, Nay,Joſua 7, 7Josh 7:7 to have ſtayed by the fleſh pots of Aegypt,Exod. 16.2Exod 16:2 rather than to die in this Wilderneſs? It had better ſure for me not to have known the way of Righteouſneſs, 2 Pet. 2, 32 Pet 2:3then after I have p. 124known it, thus to turn from the holy Commandment. Gal. 4 15Gal 4:15Where is the… the bleſſedneſs that I ſpake of? The Scripture ſaith indeed that the righteous ſhall hold on in his way, Job 17, 9Job 17:9But alas I have begun in the ſpirit, Gal. 3, 3 4Gal 3:3And after all muſt I fooliſhly end in the fleſh? Have I ſuffered ſo many things in vain, if ſo be that it be yet in vain? Have I ſuſtained ſuch corrections, and received ſuch Convictions, and brought forth ſuch purpoſes and reſolutions with ſo great pain and difficulty, Hoſ, 10, 12and to ſo little purpoſe? I canot deny that the fallow ground of mine heart hath been indeed broken up, Iſai. 28, 24Isa 28:24and Gods plowes have plowed all day to ſow, & 'twas good ſeed that the ſowers did ſow, when they ſowed the word, But alas I now find,Mark 4.14Mark 4:14 to my Wo, that it was not ſown in a good & honeſt heart, Luke 8:15Luke 8:15for no ſooner was the blade ſprung up, but early temptation p. 125made it wither away, Mat. 13, 16 21 Luke 8:14Matt 13:16Luke 8:14ſo that it brought no fruit to perfection; the cares of the world, Mark 4 19Mark 4:19the deceiptfulneſs of riches, and the luſts of other things, theſe coming in have choaked the word, and it hath become unprofitable. And is this thy confidence, O my ſoul,Job 4 6Job 4:6 the uprightneſs of thy ways; and thy hope? O think then that the word will prove true to thee, though thou haſt not been ſo to it,Prov. 14 14Prov 14:14 for it tould thee that the backſlider in heart ſhould be filled with his own ways, and I am ſure thou haſt found it ſo. Thou art the ground that haſt drunk in the rain that came oft upon it, Hebr. 6.7.8Heb 6:7Heb 6:8and haſt brought forth Thorns, and what can now be thy doom, but to be rejected of God, to be nigh unto curſing, and thine end, but to be burned? Thou art the Houſe out of which the unclean Spirit went, Mat. 12, 33 44, 45.Matt 12:33and into which He returned, taking others p. 126with him, which though he found empty, ſwept, and garniſhed, yet leaveth the laſt ſtate worſe than the firſt. Thou hast wearyed thy ſelf with lyes, Ezek. 24, 12 13Ezek 24:12and thy great ſcum wen… not forth of thee, what remain… but that thy ſcum ſhall be in th… fire? In thy filthineſs is lewdneſs, becauſe God hath purged thee, and thou wast not purged, therefore how canſt thou hope to be purged from thy filthineſs any more, th… he have cauſed his Fury to reſt upon thee? for if after Men have eſcaped the pollutions of the World, … Pet. 2 20through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Ieſus Chriſt, they are again entangled therein and overcome, the latter end is worſe with them than the beginning. Thou art that girdle marred by lying in the Babiloniſh waters of worldly Luſts,Jer. 13, 7, 11Jer 13:7Jer 13:11 and now profitable for nothing, who didſt ſometime ſeem to cleave ſo cloſely to the Lord p. 127Ieſus Chriſt, as the girdle cleaveth to the loins of a man. Ah!Jer, 6.28 29, 30 grievous Revolter! Reprobate ſinner! the Bellows are burnt, the Lead is conſumed in the Fre, the Founder hath melted thee in vain, for the wicked are not plucked away, thy wicked pride, and worldlineſs, and wantoneſs, &c. and now what canſt thou think O my Soul, but that the Lord hath rejected thee? Jerem: 2.5But what Iniquity haſt thou found in thy God, that thou art gone far from Him, and that thou haſt walked after vanity and art become vain? Ah my Soul! What hath he done unto thee? Micha 6, 3Mic 6:3or wherein hath he wearyed thee? testify againſt him. No, no, I am ſure thou canſt not, thou dareſt not reprove him, But thine own wickedneſs ſhall correct thee, Jerem. 2, 19Jer 2:19and thy Backſldings ſhall reprove thee, know therefore and ſee that it is an evil thing and a bitter, that thou p. 128hast forſaken the Lord thy God, and therefore ſurely his fear is not in thee. Rom, 6, 21What fruit haſt thou then of this foul Apoſtacy whereof thou hast ſo great reaſon to be now aſhamed? Galat. 5 7Gal 5:7Thou didst run well who did hinder thee? Hath a Nation changed their Gods, which yet are no Gods, Jer: 2, 11, 12, 13but thou haſt changed thy glory for that which doth not profit; Be aſtonyed at this, and be horribly afraid, yea, be very deſolate, O mine heart, For thou hast committed two Evils, Thou hast forſaken the Fountain of living waters, and hewed thee broken Cisterns that can hold no water. O prophane Heart,Heb. 12.16 17.Heb 12:16 that for a morſel of meat hast ſold thy Birth-right! How fain wouldſt thou now inherit the bleſsing, couldſt thou but find a place for repentance, though thou ſhouldeſt ſeek it never ſo carefully with tears? But alas for thy part, Ezek, 37, 11thine hope is cut off, thine p. 129hope hath God removed like a tree; Lam. 3, 18 Job 29.10 chap: 8.13Lam 3:18Job 29:10and indeed what elſe can be expected but that the Hypocrites hope ſhould periſh? O falſe heart, and flattering hope! muſt I be thus deceived by you both which I ſo much truſted? I ſaid (with Moſes)Exod, 14, 13 of my ſtrong corruptions, when I thought I ſaw them drowned in the Red Sea of my Saviours Bloud, I ſhall ſee them again no more for ever, and (wi…h David in his proſperity,Pſal, 30, 6) I ſhall never be moved; and muſt I now, like Capernaum, Luke 10, 15Luke 10:15after I have been thus lifted up to heaven, be thrown down to Hell? and ſo everlaſtingly ſeperated from the bleſſed preſence of the dear Ieſus, whom I fondly thought I had loved better then my life, but now find I did love him leſs than my lazineſs, and my luſts;Mat: 10 37 and indeed I am convinced that if any man loves any thing p. 130more than Chriſt, He is not worthy of him.

But, ah my dear and bleſſed Ieſus, muſt thou & I thus par? part Eternally? Oh no! not for a World, no not for a World of Worlds.Pſal. 88, 14Ps 88:14 Why then, O Lord, caſteſt thou off my ſoul? why hidest thou thy face from me? Yea rather, O Lord, why haſt thou made me to erre from thy ways, Pſal. 63 14Ps 63:14and hardened my heart from thy fear? yet will I leave my complaint upon my ſelf, Job 10.1Job 10:1and will ſpeak in the bitterneſs of my ſoul, I know indeed that God cannot be tempted with evil, Jam, 11 13 14neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own luſt and enticed. Therefore, O my God, my Soul is caſt down within me, Pſal. 42, 6, 7Ps 42:6Ps 42:7and deep calleth unto deep at the noiſe of thy water ſpouts; Verſe 4thy waves and thy billows are gone over me. When I remember theſe things I power out p. 131my ſoul in me; For I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the houſe of God, with the voice of joy and praiſe; Pſal. 7…, 6Ps 7:6I call alſo to remembrance my ſong in the night, and commune with mine own heart, and my ſpirit makes diligent ſearch, I was at eaſe but God hath broken me aſunder; Job 16, 1…Job 16:1He hath alſo taken me by the neck, and ſhaken me in pieces, and ſet me up for his mark. Job 29, 3, 4 5Job 29:3Job 29:4Oh that I were as in months past, as in the days when God preſerved me, when his Candle ſhined upon my head, and when by his light I walked through darkneſs, when the ſecret of God was upon my Tabernacle, Pſal. 42, …Ps 42and when the Almighty was yet with me But now alas my tears are my meat day and night while my ret…rning Corruptions and prevailing Luſts ſay to me continually where is thy God? Verſe …As with a Sword in my bones do they reproach me while they ſay daily to p. 132me where is thy God? But will the Lord caſt off for ever? will he be favourable no more? Is his mercy clean gone for ever? and doth his promiſe fail for evermore? Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger ſhut up his tender mercyes? 2 Sam. 23, 5,2 Sam 23:5Surely this is my infirmity; but I will remember the years of the right hand of the moſt High? Although my heart be not ſo with God, yet hath he made with me a Covenant, an everlaſting Covenant, ordered in all things, and ſure; I will therefore ſay unto God, my rock, Pſal. 42.8, 9Ps 42:8Ps 42:9why haſt thou forgotten me? why go I mourning becauſe of the oppreſſion of the Enemy? Yet the Lord will command his loving kindneſs in the day-time, and in the night his ſong ſhall be with me and my prayer unto the God of my Life, Verſe 11Why art thou caſt down, O my ſoul, and why art thou diſquieted within me? Hope thou in God p. 133for I ſhall yet praiſe him, who is the health of my Countenance, and my God. O Lord though mine iniquities testifie againſt me, do thou for thy names ſake, Jerem, 14, 7for my backſlidings are many, I have ſinned againſt thee: Verſe 20But I acknowledge O Lord my wickedneſs, Do not abhor me, and 21for thy names ſake, Remember, break not thy Covenant with me. For truly my Soul thirſteth for God, Pſal. 42, 2Ps 42:2for the liveing God, Pſalm 63, …Ps 63to ſee his Power and his Glory, ſo as I have ſeen him in the Sanctuarie.

Be watchful therefore, Rev. 3, 2Rev 3:2O mine heart, and ſtrengthen the things that …main, and are readie to die, for here is yet a Pillar of Fire before thee,Neh. 9.12 13Neh 9:12 the token of a Divine preſence with thee. Hath not God ſaid,Jer: 3:24 Return ye backſliding Children, and I will heal your backſlidings? Behold I come unto thee for thou art the Lord my God.

p. 134But ſurely if God will allow me to ſet mine hope on high, He will yet have me to keep mine Heart low, for though he be ſtill ſaying,Hoſea 14 4Hos 14:4 I will heal thy backſliding, and love thee freely, and again Turn, Jerem. 3 14Jer 3:14O backſliding Child, for … am marryed unto thee; yet he ſtil… feeds me like the Iſrae ites in th… Wilderneſs, as it were, from han… to mouth; The water of hi… Rock, 1 Cor: 10, 4not my Ciſtern, muſt ſupply me, and I be undone if it d… not follow me; I muſt fetch m… food by daily Faith, my Mann… out of the Heaven of his Promiſe not by Plowing, for it … in th… earth of my ſelf Righteouſneſs and legal performances; and m… Medicine too (for all venimo… bitings by all ſorts of fiery Temptations) from him onelyonly, wh… for that end was lifted up upo… the Croſs,John 3… 24John 3:24 and ſtill is on the p… of the Goſpel, and ſtill muſt … p. 135in the THOUGHTS of my heart, as my onelyonly ſtrength, my health, my life, my All; And if at any time he allow me but a touch or a taſt of the hoped for Clusters, Num. 13 23Num 13:23'tis to feed not my high, but my diligent Thoughts; and to mind me that I have not already attained either am already perfect, Ph. 3, 12, 13but that I preſs forward, forgetting the things that are behind, towards the mark for the price of the high Calling of God which is in Christ Ieſus. What ſhall I then ſay to theſe things? The Lord hath both ſpoken unto me, and himſelf hath done it, I will go (with him,Iſai. 38, 1…Isa 38:1 though I go but) ſoftly all my years, even in the bitterneſs of my Soul.

So then the Thoughts of the Righteous pick up encouragement, as the Good Spies, from their very difficulties, They are Bread for us; Numb 14 …Num 14I will go with this man, ſaith Rebeckah; I will go p. 136with this Ieſus, ſaith the fixed Thought of heart; Though I muſt go ſadly, yet I will go, I will go though but ſoftlie in my ſouls bitterneſs all my years; But yet O Lord, by theſe things man live, Iſai 38 16Isa 38:16And in all theſe is the life of my ſpirit, ſo wilt thou recover me, and make me to live (ſo ſaith the gracious Heart.) And thus is the ſoul fed with Manna, and led about many years, it may b…, in the Wilderneſs of Anxiety; And all this to humble, to prove, to know what is in the heart, and to do it good in the latter end.Deuter 8 2Deut 8:2

The end of the dra…ght or ſcheme of Thoughts … wrought in converſion,And thus have I given you as briefly as I could, though more largely then I thought, a Scheme or draught, of ſuch Thoughts in man as do ordinarily flow from the Grace of God, as I have received from that ſure Word, that is a diſcerner of the Thoughts, and a diſcoverer as well as a diſcerner, p. 137and as I have known, and perhaps felt in ſome ſmall experience, And the Holy-Ghoſt, that knows all hearts, ſaith expreſsly, As in water, face anſwers to face, Prov 27 19Prov 27:19ſo the heart of man to man.

Sect. XII.

NOw becauſe as I have ſaid,Regenerate mans thoughts flowing from a new nature agree with orher natural motions in 3 things. The Regenerate mans thoughts are ſparks from a new Fire, fruits of a new heart, stirrings of a new Nature, Therefore It muſt needs be, that they partake with all natural motions in theſe Three points.

I. Facility. 1 Facility, Good thoughts delightful, if from a right principleNatural Acts and motions, If Nature be not oppreſſed (as ſometimes the New nature ſeems to be) are facile, yea pleaſ…ng and delightful, as to eat, to drink, to ſleep, &c. So are right Thoughts to a Righteous perſon. When wiſdom entereth into thy heart, p. 138Prov 2, …Prov 2& knowledg is pleaſant unto thy ſoul, &c, A naughty heart is like a vitious ſtomach, thoſe very thoughts that are as an honey-combe, or as pleaſant bread to others,Prov 27 7Prov 27:7 do make it turn, as it were, at the very ſight of them; Go thy way Paul, for this time, I have no ſtomack to think of Righteouſneſs or Iudgement to come; Acts 24 25Acts 24:25No, no, Felix his Thoughts were another way, ſuitable to his Corruption; He thought (ſaith the text) there was money coming, Verſe 26and 'twas the thought of money that made muſick in his Mind; But ſaith a David of his God, not of his Mammon, My meditation of HIM ſhall be SVVEET,Pſal 124 34Ps 124:34 I will be glad in the Lord. When the Miſer… receives his Mammon, Oh how it glads him? nay he loves the Thought of it, when he canno… come at it; Nay, he can Thin… with delight of the Bills or Bonds he can lay them in his boſome p. 139that do but Name it, Money is his God, and Worldlineſs his Nature: So doth a gracious heart with ſweetneſs entertain the Thought of his God,Pſal 119 1…Ps 119:1 nay hide his word in his very Heart; It goes down with him with delight, as his food when he is moſt hungry; Thy words were found and I did eat them, Jer 15 16Jer 15:16and they were to me the joy and rejoicing of mine Heart, The Ear drinks in words, but it is the heart that eats them, by ſetting the Thoughts to chew upon them. And as it is with a man that is in health, if he want his ſet meals, ſo is it with a good Heart, kept in good order, without many gripes and ſecret gnawings, it cannot want its ſet MEDITATIONS, And ſurely it would be better with moſt Chriſtians then it is, were they but careful with Iſaack, to ſet a part ſome little time of the day for Meditation, who are ſo little p. 140able to ſay with David, O how love I thy Law! Pſal 119 67Ps 119:67It is my MEDITATION all the day. And this leads me to the

Sect XIII.

Frequency Davids thoughts good all the day.II. And that is Frequencie. A good pulſe ſtrikes many a good ſtroak in a day, and ſo doth a good heart, as you may ſee in David, when he was in good ſtate of ſoul health; Pſal 119 97Ps 119:97you cannot think that he thought of nothing but Gods Law in the whole day, when he ſays It was his Meditation all the day; his Crown was lined with cares, How to be underſtood,And his Head with Thoughts as other mens: But he would allow no Thought in the day contrary to the Law; He would order all his Thoughts in conformity and ſubordination thereto, And his Thoughts thereof were better pleaſing to him then all other other p. 141Thoughts, He was in his Element when in ſuch Meditations; and reckoned ſo much of the day loſt, as wherein he was hurryed, by Temptations, to any contrary cogitations: If a Bird fall into the water, 'tis not her Element, ſhe neither uſeth nor delighteth to be there; If a Mole get above ground, he is not where he would be, or is wont be.Tryal what thoughts thy element Ask thine heart ſeriouſly what Element it is that thy Thoughts moſt uſe, and with moſt eaſe; Pſalm 77 5Ps 77:5(My ſoul ſhall be ſatisfied as with marrow and fatneſs when I think upon thee, when I remember thee upon my bed, & meditate upon thee, &c.) And thereby diſcern whether it be a Bird of Paradiſe, or a meer Mole, for to be carnally minded is death, Romans 8 6.Rom 8:6but to be ſpiritually minded is life and peace. A bad man may have a Thought of God now and then, and a Thought for God (or the moſt are very much miſtaken) p. 142But a David can ſay of his divine Thoughts, how great is the ſum of them? Gods Thoughts of him, and his Thoughts of God, and the reflection of his Thoughts upon Gods Thoughts, Pſal 13, 17Ps 13:17for,

Sect. XIV.

3 perpetuityIII. There is Perpetuity as well as Facility and Frequency in Natural acts and motions. The pulſe beats not onelyonly all the day, but all a mans days: ſo do good thoughts in a Godly mind. What a bleſſed frame was holy David in when he could never awake, but he found his pulſe beating Heaven-ward? when I awake I am ſtill with thee. Pſa 139 18Ps 139:18The bleſſed mans delight is in the Law of the Lord, Pſal 1 12Ps 1:12and therein doth he meditate day and night. O happy He whoſe Thoughts are holy day and night, that is, continually.

p. 143I know Grace is lyable to its languiſhings, as well as Nature, Grace may languiſh, for pulſe intermit, as the natural, But good Thoughts never quite die,and the ſouls pulſe to its Intermiſsions, as the bodyes is, whereof more hereafter; onelyonly the Pulſe of Nature may ceaſe totally, nay it muſt, becauſe Nature it ſelf muſt expire; But Grace is a Coeleſtial, an Heaven-born principle, an Immortal Fire, which can never be extinguiſhed, but burns brighteſt when Nature goeth out, as in Iacob & Ioſeph when they lay a dying: Pſal 146 …Ps 146ſo good thoughts do uſually moſt flouriſh in that very day when other Thoughts periſh, Heb 11, 21 22Heb 11:21the day of Death, and after Death eſpecially. And thus much for the firſt Tryal of Thoughts, whether Right or no, from their Original.