Contentment Leading a Christian, Treatise 1 · Chapter 11
CHAP. XI. Of friends unkindnesse, or death, and Contentment therein.
WEe have spoken of private evils in the first kind, namely more spirituall, against all which we have heard how godlines fenceth the heart with contentment. Now we are to proceed to temporall: and they respect either others, or our selves.
The former is especially when we are afflicted in our friends, and that two wayes, either in the unkindnesse of them living, or losse of them by death.Grounds of Contentment in friends unkindnesse.
Godlinesse contenteth the Christian man in the former, upon these or the like grounds.
1 It lets him see, how unkinde 1himself hath bin to God, and well deserved that his friends should use him as he hath done his best friend.
2 It hath this good use to draw 2neer unto God & grow up into familiarity and acquaintance with him; as David, Ps. 27. 10. my father & mother forsooke me, but the Lord tooke me up. And a faithful heart knows, that Gods love is not so flitting, but loving once he loveth to the end. Al they who were Iohn 13. 1.bound in bonds of nature and other offices to David, were forced by Sauls malice and tyranny to leave him to himselfe: but then God stuck to him.
3 It seeth it self in no worse condition then the Saints of old. Who slew Abel, but his own brother? who mocked Noah, but his own son Cham? who sold Ioseph, & hated him, but his brethren? who unjustly blamed our Lord Iesus Christ, but his brethren & kindred according to the flesh? Ioh. 7. 3, 4. Who betrayed him, but one whō he had chosen to be his Disciple, & he that ate bread with him at his table? It Psal. 55. 13.was thou, my friend and familiar.
Oh but this is a great crosse, Ob.out of mine owne bosome, from husband or wife: or out of my own bowels, from childe: where should I looke for comfort, but from hence?
True: but first, So long as the combate Ans.is not with God, if he looke graciously on thy soule, if Christ thy husband smile upon thee, thou mayest beare the frownes of a froward husband or wife the better.
2 This is a great outward tryall: but perhaps other inferior ones have been neglected, and small things will not make great hearts stoupe. Besides, crosses of another kinde would not smart so much, nor sticke so long. Here is a continuall dropping. Bee sure to bee well softened.
3 It is neverthelesse no other then the deare Saints of God have bin humbled & bettered by. Was not Iobs greatest trouble out of his owne bosome? Was not his breath strange to his wife, who would not be intreated for their childrens sake? Was it not Sampsons overthrow? Was not David mocked by his Michal? Besides, had not Iacob his greatest exercise from his own bowels? his only daughter defloured, one sonne banished, another an adulterer, another incestuous, another; yea, sundry of them murtherers? Was not David exercised by his rebellious Absalom? See we not at this day most gracious Parents tryed & shamed with most gracelesse children? wherein is seene, that men beget children in their owne image, in corrupt nature, not according to grace, and that every good childe is of God?
In the losse and departure of our Grounds of Contentment in the death of friends. 1friends by death, godlinesse quieteth the Christian by these Motives.
1 The decease of our friends is not by chance, but by Gods disposing, who turneth man to dust; and Psal 90. 3.saith againe, Returne ye sons of men. And herein we must imitate holy Iob, who blessed God as well in taking away his children, as in giving them.
2 Our good friends perish not, neither have we lost them, but sent 2 N…n exitus … asitus Cypr.them before unto the Kingdome of Heaven. Their death is not an end, but a passage. They are blessed that are dead in the Lord, or rather sleep in the Lord, Ioh. 11. 11. We must not envy their happinesse, and quiet rest, into which they are arrived out of the restlesse sea of this world, nor immoderately mourne in blacke for them, who are clothed in long white robes, washed in the blood of the Lambe.
3 They shall be restored unto us in their bodies glorified, and made like 3the glorious body of Christ, and joyned for ever unto us again in a better and eternall life.
4 Our best friend never dyes, nor failes us, and therefore we may more 4contentedly part with other that are not so neer us, neither can doe us so much good. Strait is the knot between man and wife, which so long as it lasteth, other losses of acquaintance and kinsfolks are more tolerable, if the loving husband and wife remaine together. But the love of God cannot be broken: there is a neerer and straiter bond betweene him and the godly, then between man and wife. If we can see this bond tyed between God and our friends, and God and our selves, we shall in decease of our dearest friends comfort our selves: neither fearing to commit them into the hands of their best friend, God, the father of mercies, nor yet our selves without them to be destitute of friēds; seeing our best friend stands by us, in whom and for whom they are to bee loved.
This consideration may quiet those, … …oritur, q…ies ami…tit suos. 1 Sam. 1. 8who are as impatient in the death of their fr…ends, as Annah was in the wāt of children: to whom Elkanah said, Am not I better to thee then ten sons? Say with Elkanah, Is not God better to me then ten husbands, or ten thousand children? Simeon having Christ in his arms, could dy in peace.
5 We shall not want friends on earth, in stead of them who are taken 3from us, so farre as God seeth good for us. His hand is not shortened? …ee can rais… us better friends: and if men were wanting, faith in his promises would make the bruit beasts friendly to us, before we should faile. The Lyons shall preserve Daniel. The Ravens shall feed Elias. The dogges of the rich glutton shall licke Lazarus sores, and shew more mercy then their miserable master. A Whale shall preserve Ionas, and a Fish give Peter money to pay his tribute. Where God is a friend, all his creatures are friendly.
Imitate here holy Abraham: when God called him to sacrifice Isaac, hee willingly offers him up to God: he might have reasoned the case, and said, Where shal I have another Isaac, another sonne of the promise? but faith made him give over reasoning, and give up his sonne. And indeed, if wee would duely examine our hearts, we should finde, that our feare and griefe in giving up our friends in the time of their sickenesse, or death, proceeds commonly from want of faith, and contempt of life eternall.
6 The Saints have with faith 6and contentment borne part with us in the losse of their friends: Adam and Eve an heavy funerall for Abel: Noah mourned a whole yeare for the funerals of the whole world: Abraham saw the funerals of his Sarah, Iocob of Rachel. Ezekiel lost the delight Eze. 24. 16 St…temleg…, fle…tem non lego. Ambros.of his eyes, but must not mourn. The blessed Virgin stood by the Crosse of her onelyonly and deare Soune, and yet (as Ambrose notes) shee wept not.