A Cap of Grey Hairs for a Green Head, Text 1

A Cap of Grey Hairs for a Green Head · Text 1

p. 3SON,

HAving been at ſo much coſt and care to ſet you fairly out, to act your part upon the ſtage of this the preſent world; I was conſulting what might be further done, to give aſſiſtance to your fair come off. And now obſerving that you were gone out from under the obumbrage of the Fathers wing, when counſel was at hand as each occaſion did preſent it ſelf, and yet expoſed to a ſtanding much more ſlippery, through the great ſtore of powerful temptations; I thought it meet to ſend you up a ſtock of ſuch well-tried advice as might ſerve as a panoply, from whence to fetch ſupplies, as your occaſions ſhould impoſe a need.

And though ſome Fathers, and of them ſome perſons of great Note, have undertook to give advice unto their Sons; whoſe works in that kind are yet extant; and therefore this may ſeem p. 4more needleſs; yet there's not any (that I know of) hath ſtoopt ſo low, to give advice to an Apprentice, but did direct their thoughts to ſuch a pitch, as lay not in the level of the greateſt part of perſons; to whom advice was not leſs needful. However, you'll find here ſome ſtore of things not touched by their obſervation, and ſuch as when experimented, will be approv'd to need your warineſs, and caution. But what concerns you moſt, is not the Doctrine, but the Uſe; for 'tis not hard to give good Counſel, but to take it. Green Heads are apt to think themſelves the wiſeſt; but that were ſtrange, when as our wiſdome (for the moſt part) is bought by experience, and young men are too young to make an ample purchaſe. You have this advantage then, to have that ſtock, which hath been traded for by elder years, and thoſe too exerciſed not in a few concerns: adde theſe unto your own, and you may be as wiſe, as if you had already lived ſome more years.

If this care for you turn not to account, I'm ſure the error will be found your own; and if that hereby you're p. 5not made the wiſer, your follies will be more without excuſe. But I ſhall proſecute theſe my deſigns contrived for your benefit, with my unceſſant prayers, that God would ever do you good, and be your ſure and everlaſting Guide. For as our Actions ſhould be all done for his Glory; ſo ſhould our enterprizes be all undertaken with the expectance and invocation of the divine aſſiſtance. Therefore as in the diſpoſing of our affairs, reſpect ſhould be had by us that we may be ſerviceable to God in our Generations; ſo ſhould our eyes be up unto him for his bleſſing on us in thoſe affairs, whoſe overflowing hand doth blaſt them, or elſe make them flouriſh; the one or other even as he pleaſeth. And it ſhould be our moſt important care, that we ſo live, as that by our iniquity we give no cauſe that he ſhould bring a curſe on us and our endeavours.

The firſt thing therefore which I have to recommend to you, is Religion towards God; by which notion I do chiefly underſtand, All care to ſave a mans own Soul: for it ſeems an apparent irrationality, there to deſign the provident management of the affairs of this p. 6preſent life, where a man is utterly regardleſs of thoſe much more important concernments of a better. And if the Child in the womb had but the ſame reſentments of the life here, as we have of that which is to come, 'twould be eſteemed ſtrange, if it ſhould be more thoughtful for its eaſie lying the nine moneths there, than its comfortable living (it may be) an hundred years here. And much more groſs is our vanity and madneſs, in the neglect of thoſe things which are not ſeen, which are eternal; when we only care for thoſe things which are ſeen, which are temporal. But it is not my deſign here, to give you directions in this buſineſs, that would ſwell this little Manual into too great a Bulk; and there are almoſt innumerable pious labours of Learned men who have largely treated on this ſubject. But there is one main thing, which is in truth much wanting every where, which I have chiefly here to mind you of, to wit,

That you be ſerious in the matter of Religion: for he that is ſerious, thoughtful of thoſe affairs, according to that vaſt concernment that is in them, will p. 7not be much to ſeek in the expedients tending thither; yet let me ſet before you two or three things by way of caution.

Do not buſie your ſelf much about the Controverſal part of Religion, for that ingenders ſtrife, rather than edifying; and makes a man rather buſily inquiſitive, than uſefully practical. Faith and good works they are the things wherein a man can never unprofitably, never too abundantly be imployed. And the truth is, 'ts no hard matter for the talk of Religion, to ſupplant the practice of it; nor for a man to ſpeak handſomely of that, which he will never do; and like Seneca, to praiſe poverty, whileſt he heaps up millions. 'Tis infinitely better to be conſcientiouſly practiſing the plain truths we know, than curiouſly diſputing about thoſe things we know not; rather walking in the good old way of manifeſt holineſs, than in the new affected way of diſputed devotion.

Do not eſpouſe any opinion, faction, or way of men, to be led by them one ſtep farther, than the clear conviction of thine own judgment doth conduct p. 8thee. For how great indiſcretion is it to be hurried by the whirl of others motion, into thoſe precipices, whirl depth and dangers thine own conſiderate foreſight did not firſt ſound? And how great an injury is it to that Reaſon which God hath given us, to ſubject our Underſtanding to the Senſe of others, & jurare in verba Magiſtri, and like ſilly ſheep to bounſe into no ſmall inordinateneſs, only becauſe we ſaw ſome great Ram leap in before us? And verily 'twould vex one, to ſee thoſe who do deſign to draw diſciples after them, to lead a crew of Gulls into no ſmall puddles, by having obtained the repute of being no meanly underſtanding Ganders. For how many hens do we dayly ſee, following that Cock, who hath had the confidence to crow ſtoutly on his own dung-hill; out of danger of having his right diſputed by the dint of Weapon?

I confeſs it hath been no impolitick way to wealth and promotion, to be a ſtout abettor of the prevailing faction, and great aſſertor of the opinion in faſhion.

And we need not go far for examples p. 9of thoſe, who by this gale have proſperouſly ſailed to deſired Dignities. But if the Apoſtle make it a ſmall matter, to give carnal things in exchange for ſpiritual; ſurely 'tis abominable Traffick to give our ſpiritual things for carnal, and abet opinions to fill our purſes, not better our Souls.

But beſides, 'tis ſeldome but God takes theſe wiſe in their own craftineſs, and brings ſuch a turn which throws them out of Dignities ſhamefully, who brought themſelves in hypocritically.

Never ingage ſo far in any opinion, or way, as to ſuffer for it, without the clear conviction of thine own Conſcience, that it is thy duty ſo to do. For though there be a glory in ſuffering, overballancing to ſome humors the loſs and ſmart which accompanies it; and though there be much in a preoccupated judgment that we do well in ſuffering, eſpecially when we are clap't on the back, and incouraged by thoſe who abet the opnion: Though thus (I ſay) when in hot blood, and in the glory of the buſineſs, it was not hard to appear gallant in ſome herce incounters; yet when the wounds are ſtark, the p. 10ſpectators gone, and thou left in thy ſolitudes, and become ſerious, believe me, thy ſpirit will be intolerably dull, if it be not ſerened with a conſcience teſtifying from manifeſt truth, that thou haſt ſuffered according to the will of God.

But further, under this notion of Religion I have to recommend to you all acts of Devotion and ſervice towards God; all care to give unto him the inward adoration of the heart, and the outward worſhip which is well-pleaſing in his ſight. And this advice is the more neceſſary, becauſe the greateſt part of perſons among us, ſuch as are not factiouſly devout, are irreligiouſly profane. For from the one extreme, the moſt of men are run unto the other; contenting themſelves with the name of Chriſtians, and nothing but the name. In which reſpect (I think) they are not matcht by any generation of people in the world beſide. For whereas every Nation acknowledgeth ſome God which they worſhip after their manner, with a zealous devotion, even to the prodigal expending of their very lives; how many are there among p. 11us, which have not ſo much as a ſhew of Religion, not any Duty performed to God in their Families, not any invocation of his name, unleſs in curſed Blaſphemy and Oaths? And that wherein cuſtome hath ſo much prevailed, that it is a ſhame not to do it; (I mean giving of thanks at meat) what affected brevity is deſign'd, as if they intended rather a ſcoff of the Divine Majeſty, than otherwiſe? As for the attendance upon the Publike ſervice, verily that is as to a Play, more than ought elſe, doing meerly what the Poet ſaith Women came for to the Theatres, Spectatum veniunt, veniunt ſpectentur ut ipſae: the ends of moſt, at thoſe divine imployments, being to ſhew their own braveries, or ſee that of others; and the moſt exact account which they there take of any thing, is the new faſhion.

But do thou, in thy attendance upon Divine Worſhip, ſay, as Jacob of Bethel, How dreadful is this place! and remember the greatneſs of tha… God, who hath profeſſed himſelf to be a jealous God, and therefore moſt obſervant what manner of Addreſſes thou makeſt p. 12to him; doing the duty thou art engaged in with all thy might; as well knowing that that God who requireth thou ſhouldeſt love him with all thy heart, expecteth that thou ſhouldeſt apply thy ſelf to his ſervice, with the moſt united intention of all thy faculties.

And though the Apoſtle ſaith, that we ſhould pray foreign, without ceaſing, the heart being always in a frame of calling upon God, and in a continual deſire and expectance of ſupplies from him, in whom all our ſprings are; Yet our ſolemn applications unto him, in hearing him ſpeak to us, or our ſpeaking to him, ſhould be with that fear and reverence, as ſuits with his infinite and incomprehenſible greatneſs. And as our hearing of his Word read or preached, ſhould be not as of the ſound of words, but with obſervation of the importance of the ſenſe: So ſhould our calling upon him, not be the inconſiderate & formal mumbling over a parcel of prayers; but with that faith, affection, and earneſt deſire, as may approve thee to be otherwiſe than a vain babler.

p. 13Neither is Religion onelyonly of great uſe as to the advantages of the world to come, but alſo to the concernments of this preſent life: the Grace of God which bringeth Salvation, teaching us not only to live godly, but alſo righteouſly, and ſoberly.

Now as I have made it my care to diſpoſe you to ſuch a Maſter, as hath a good report of all men, and I hope of the truth it ſelf, that he is an honeſt good man, and able in his way; from whom you will receive dayly examples of the exerciſe of vertue; and who, as he will expect the duty of a ſervant from you, in your ſervice of him; ſo I know he will perform the duty of a Maſter to you, in your government and inſtruction: So it behooves you now to anſwer the end that was deſigned in your being ſo diſpoſed of, and ſo to take care to be a ſervant now, as that you may be a Maſter hereafter. To which end, it is not a little conducing, to come off the Stage with the clear applauſe of having acted the part of a ſervant well: for he that is turniſhed whit that report, goes a great way in p. 14the ſecond part (I mean) the ſetting up for himſelf.

He that will thus come off, muſt be much imployed in the exerciſe of thoſe vertues, which greatly tend to the obtaining a good name; and the firſt of theſe we may ſay is Veracity.

For not to ſpeak how great a ſin it is by a lie to deny the God of truth, and his omniſcience who knoweth all things; It is not to be imagined, how great a diſrepute is thereby contracted. For we thereby not onelyonly make our ſelves the ſcorn of thoſe that do diſcover us, but deprive our ſelves of that belief, which we might expect from thoſe which do not. The liar rendring himſelf perpetually ſuſpected, and even then when ſpeaking truth not believed.

Neither ſhall you find the liar any wiſe anſwered in that deſign of excuſing himſelf, which he propoſeth: For beſides that it argues much profaneneſs to back one ſin with another, and make recompence for what was ill done the firſt time, with doing ill the ſecond; it ſeldom proves, but that the falſhood is diſcovered, and what might at firſt be eaſily pardoned, upon a fair confeſſion, p. 15is made the ſubject of a ſevere animadverſion, by a repeated guiltineſs, And in very deed, it is very ſeldom. but that a ſoft anſwer, and confeſſion, obtains the diſmiſſion of that offender, whom a lve would have detained unto a future judgment.

Fidelity is another virtue ſo eſſentially neceſſary in this deſign, that to ſuppoſe a good ſervant without it, were to make a man without reaſon. Let it be therefore your principal care to keep your hand undefiled from the touch of whatſoever you cannot juſtly call your own. Neither let any opportunity, or probability of concealment ever tempt you to lay your fingers on that, which your conſcience tells you not, is warrantably yours. For a bird of the air will tell the matter, and what is ſo unrighteouſly detained, muſt either be with ſhame refunded, or (which is worſe) with impenitency kept, to the treaſuring up of wrath againſt the day of wrath. Beſides obſerve, how great an happineſs it is to be bold-faced in the conſcience of our own integrity in this behalf; when like Moſes and Samuel, we are able to preſent a challenge to the p. 16whole world, if they can charge our hands with any thing that is theirs.

But it concerns you alſo, to have no confederacy with any that have clammy hands; no nor any connivence: for it is not the leaſt part of fidelity to thoſe who do entruſt us, to be as their eyes, and ears, to prevent all injurious encroachments. And 'tis eaſie to conjecture, how great a conducement one truſty ſervant is, to the ſtifling the enterpriſes, and throwing water upon the gun-powder of thoſe evil deſignes, whereby unfaithful Servants abuſe their Maſters, and ſometimes even blow up their eſtates.

There is another ſort of Fidelity, though not of that conſequence, yet not leſs acceptable to thoſe who ſhall imploy you; when you ſhall be faithful to their reputations, not onelyonly avoiding all reports and ſpeeches which may caſt upon them any the leaſt blemiſh; but at all times interpoſing your ſelf in their vindication, againſt the obloquy of thoſe, who may traduce them.

And verily, as to ingenious ſpirits, nothing is more dear, than their reputations: p. 17ſo is there not any thing which endears a ſervant to ſuch Maſters more, than when he ſhall be overheard, either refuting ſuch calumnies whereby their good name was endangered, or giving the moſt favourable interpretation to thoſe juſt allegations to which their weakneſs, or overſight, might render them obnoxious.

Temperance is the next which here comes to be mentioned; a virtue of that expediency, that ſcarce any buſineſs is readily done without it: for he who wants this moderator, and too deeply drencheth himſelf in that which is too much, is like a man runing in boots, unfit for any imployment. For which cauſe Solomon ſaith, The ſluggard ſhall be cloathed with rags, becauſe he cryes, Yet a little more ſleep, a little more ſlumber. And truely it is not hard to declame againſt the intemperate uſe of ſleep, it being indeed, as it were, the abatement of our life, and as either returning us into that condition we were in in our mothers womb, or as anticipating that when in our graves; being as it were to that end ordained, to put us in mind of our p. 18own infirmity, and that we die dayly. To be ſure, we do not onelyonly deprive our ſelves of ſo much of our lives, as is thus unneceſſarily diſpoſed; but we do alſo cut off from our ſelves ſo much of opportunity to diſpatch our affairs, as is by us this way intemperately expended.

In both which reſpects of Health and Wealth, we may alſo adviſe you from intemperance in meats and drink; being ſuch, as moſt certainly decayes the body, and conſumes the purſe. Exceſs in theſe, being not onelyonly a pleaſurable evil, whereby we cut our own throats with no ſmall delight, and put out natural heat, with throwing on too much fuel. But it is alſo a coſtly vanity, the dainty tooths of ſome, corroding ſo far into their eſtates, as to reach the very vitals; and one mouth being more than enough for ſix pair of hands. For what would ſupply a temperate rectified appetite with what is wholſome, at the price of a few pence, will not allay the itch of one luxurious, with what it ſhall think toothſome, at as many pounds: the one intending the ſatisfying of hunger (which when it is p. 19done finds an end) the other like the itch of ſcabby parts, the more it is ſcratched, the more deſires it. And this caution deſerves your greater care, being in a City which abounds with fulneſs of bread; whither all the dainties of the Kingdome have their confluence; and exceſs in eating is uſhered in with the greateſt ſolemnity and abundance (I believe) of any place in the world beſides. The delights of Aſia, ſo much talked of, as the enervating poiſon heroick Spirits; being but as Kickſhawes to thoſe exceſſes which the preſent luxury hath excogiated; wherein the deſign, ſeems by repeated proritaments, to deal by ſtomacks, as Cock-maſters by their fainting duelliſts, hold them up, that cannot ſtand of themſelves, to a freſh encounter.

And though this exceſs of eating may be as hurtful to the body, and conſumptive to the purſe; yet it is not in many reſpects ſo pernicious, as that of drink; which by a ſad fatality proves a deluge to Reaſon, and commonly brings with it a floud of thoſe debaucheries, which render us the ſcorn of children, and deteſtation of p. 20ſober men. And though I want not reaſons of the higheſt remark, yet verily I want words to importune you to a juſt abhorrency of ſo great a miſchief, whereby we unman our ſelves of the reaſon God hath given us, like ſwine wallowing in our own vomits; and rendering our ſelves both the fitted inſtruments of every iniquity, and uncapable of any good counſel which might prevent us. As therefore your inclination now doth ſtand averſe to this vice, ſo let me adjure you, by all that is dear and ſacred, that you continue at the greateſt diſtance from it.

Here alſo let me put in a caution againſt intemperance and fantaſtickneſs in Apparel; wherein this Nation is ſo immoderate, that they are moſt witty how to be moſt antick. 'Tis not rare to ſee thoſe perſons expoſed like owls, to the ridiculous wonder of ſober men, ſtrut along, as if they drew after them the admiration, and not the laughter of thoſe that ſee them; when pitiful ſouls, they are the Ignes fatui, which intelligent men follow with their ſcorn, and uſually expire in the ſilly impertinencies of their own vanity. And p. 21therefore expenſiveneſs in Apparel, is certainly as great a foolery, as men are guilty of; when at huge rates, they purchaſe thoſe things, for which they are no more valued, than a fore-horſe for his feather. For if Apparel be beyond the Eſtate, the onelyonly eſteem you get thence, is of a prodigal fool; if but equal to it, you have that eſteem without it. For you may obſerve, that the value which we ſet upon perſons (beſide that due to the endowments of their mind) is according to their Rentals; and he that hath an ample revenue, ſhall be reſpected, however plainly clad: when a fine fellow without, by thoſe that know him, ſhall have no more eſteem, than a poor raſcal on a Stage, though in the array of a Prince: and he that came in to King Henry the Eighth with an hundred tenements on his back, ſold to make him brave, would have had twice as many hats off the next Term, if he had had the rent of them in his purſe. It is therefore wiſdom to be neat, not gallant; and to wear ſuch apparel as may ſhew you are not ſordid, and neglect your ſelf; not ſuch as may make your purſe look thin through p. 22the coſt, nor your judgement cenſured for the vanity.

What comes next to be laid before you, is the art of Silence; of no mean conſideration in the quietneſs of your life, and advantage of your affairs. And therefore as in general, that talkative humour ſhould be avoided, which expoſeth a man very much to the cenſure of others, it being very difficult to talk much and well: the Greek Adage being true, foreign, much ſpeaking is not without much folly. Neither is it a little hard, ſo to manage that ſlippery inſtrument, as that ſomething ſhall not thence eſcape, which may be retorted to your prejudice, eſpecially if perſons be talked of whom you cannot commend without envy, nor diſpraiſe without danger. Every one being ſmartly ſenſible of the ſtroak of the tongue; and none being ſo ready to amend for being beaten, as to be revenged of the beater.

But 'tis eſpecially dangerous to ſpeak any thing in the diſparagement of Womens Beauty, or Honour; for they are naturally waſpiſh Creatures, and p. 23apt to take pet; and by how much the more feeble, the more prone to revenge thoſe things, which an elated magnanimity would overlook, as too inferiour a mark. Through the conſciouſneſs of which imbecility, they lay their deſigns cloſe, and proſecute their mean concerns with more extreme revenges, than you can eaſily imagine: being ſure to do that at the firſt caſt, which they are ever in fear will not be effected by an after-game; and are fully taught that policie, to ſhoot with Bullets, and not Hail-ſhot; and level their blow at the head, and not the heel. Doing their buſineſs too, after the Italian mode; ſo that though their diſguſts, like that of Juno's upon the arbitrement of Paris, manetalta mente repoſtum, yet it ſhall not break forth till you are ſecur'd; like the cannon giving the blow, after the mark is torn in pieces. Therefore you may obſerve in all ſtory no Vindicts ſo tranſcendent as thoſe of women, clear particularly in Overburies Caſe, whom no indearments could ranſome from being a Victime of Feminine rage. Neither ſhall you find any thing of a more dire immanity than p. 24the Pariſian Nuptials on Bartholomew-Eve; which yet were hatcht under a French-Hood, and not a Helmet: for which cauſe thoſe Fathers of Invention repreſented all the Furies under the notion of women, and expreſly ordered, that Erinnys ſhould be foeminci gencris. Neither is it a farthing matter, whether what you have ſaid, be true or no; unleſs by how much the truer, by ſo much the more biting: it being with them, as the Hiſtorian ſaid of Nero, Quae facere gaudebat, audire gravabatur, their principal art being that of concealment; and therefore they hate no dog ſo much, as the bloodhound.

But this is not to be underſtood generally; for there are of that Sex, very many, whoſe ſentiments are ſuitable to the delicacy of their conſtitutions, being as innocent and harmleſs, as the moſt gentle Turtles, whoſe purer ſouls know nothing of ſin, more than what cannot be avoided by common infirmity; and therefore, ſweet creatures, are without any thing of gall; and are far from thoughts of revenge, becauſe they can think none ſo ill, as to deſerve an ill p. 25thought of them. To ſpeak any thing which might, though but obliquely, reflect upon ſuch as theſe, were an impiety not to be expiated by the moſt ſubmiſſive acknowledgments. But there are beſides theſe, thoſe whoſe hearts are branded with blackeſt Characters, by frequent commiſſions ſteeling their Conſciences to the perpetration of thoſe villanies, which 'tis their greateſt art to cover over with a different appearance; to which end they rack their curious wits (without doubt the moſt ſublimated of any intelligence below that of Spirits) to the greateſt keenneſs, in inventing expedients to hide that, which they fear not to commit; but hate ſhould be known, and therefore proſecute with as cruel ſpite him that ſhould pretend a diſcovery, as if you had undertaken the publick unplaiſtering of a painted face.

But you are very much to be careful, not to diſcover the concerns of that family wherein you live, for every mans houſe is his Caſtle, and ſhould be as his Cabinet; whence nothing ſhould be divulg'd but by his permiſſion. p. 27In the reaſon of which we have ſo many examples, even of ſome ſlaves, who have endured the extremeſt tortures, rather than diſcover their Maſters ſecrets. Neither is it any wiſe fit to babble of thoſe things which you may poſſibly conceive are of inconſiderable moment; for he that will indiſcreetly tell any thing, is ever ſuſpected that he will tell every thing. And they that have ſome truth from your mouth to begin upon, will thereon build ſuch ſuperſtructure, as is proportionable to their own imaginations: all which they ſtamp currant and paſſable upon the credit of that truth which you at firſt reported.

But eſpecially let what is committed to you as a ſecret, be lockt up by you in an incloſure, not to be opened, but by the key of him that gave it. For moſt intolerable is that vanity, which leaks out into the next company what was committed by his friend, or is eaſily drawn in to diſcover what was ſo entruſted; for no man but vilifies that perſon in his own eſtimate, who is looſe-bodied upon p. 27that account; and judges him a contemptible ſpunge, whom he finds facile to be ſqueez'd out of what he was ſo charg'd with.

And here you may alſo take notice, how expedient it is not to be talkative of ſuch deſignes, as are in your thoughts, of bargains to buy, or buſineſs to do; for thereby you give great occaſion for others to prevent you, if they judge it worth the while: and thoſe who come under the reach of your projects, are thereby alarmed to circumvent you, and defend themſelves; and 'tis no ſmall advantage in every affair, to take thoſe we are to deal with unprovided. For which cauſe the late Uſurpers did repreſent their great concerns as already done, rather than to be done; and there was no talk of what they purpoſed, till 'twas effected. And you may obſerve, that the ſly Fox who ſilently ſnaps his prey, ſhall alone troble the number, that a crew of babbling Beagles ſhall get by their out-cry: and 'tis your cloſe lads who commonly effect thoſe buſineſſes, which your great talkers can never compaſs.

p. 28Know alſo, that though there be a natural proneneſs to boaſt of our own abilities; yet he is very unwiſe that talks of them, or of his own arts. For 'tis one of the greateſt parts of cunning, to endeavour not to be thought ſo: and he that proclaims his own skill, beats the Drum to the alarming thoſe he hath to do with; and ſummons every man to come well provided to deal with him, that declares he goes always furniſhed with a ſword and Buckler. And 'tis the only benefit that an opinion of our wit and nimbleneſs begets us, that we are confronted with that reſolution which lies immoveable on its own baſis; or like an Hedg-hogg, ſhews nothing to the teeth of our art, but its ſharp prickles.

Nor is it fit to talk of our expectances, nor of our hope of ſuch ſucceſſes, which depend upon the good will of others, which are ſet in lubrico; and if we fall from ſuch hopes ſo diſcovered, we fall as much in our reputations, as if our caſuality had been real; and expoſe our ſelves as much to the deriſion of others. And ſuch imaginary diſappointments p. 29are not ſeldom retorted on us, as the true returns of our own unworthineſs: and 'tis but a juſt confidence that others take in this kinde to deny us, when they ſee us ſo rich in hopes, but not ſo in performance. However, he that antedates his own enjoyments, and pre-occupies them in his diſcourſes, doth truely according to the Proverb, Reckon his chicken before they are hatcht; And, Sell the bears skin ere it be caught.

But be warily ſilent in all ſuch things as are bandyed in difference between others: for he that blows the coals in others ſtrifes, ſhall be ſure to have the ſparks fly in his mouth. It being hard to make even ſuch an amicable interpoſition as ſhall not admit of a ſiniſter interpretation. All men almoſt being led by their paſſions and prejudices, and their own intereſt; and ſcarce a man that will weigh his own cauſe in the ballances of Juſtice. And therefore you will be neceſſitated in ſuch caſes either to deny your own reaſon, and be towed about at the pleaſure of others, or p. 30expoſe your ſelf to the diſguſts of thoſe, who judge of your ſentiments, not by the truth and reaſon of them, but by their own paſſions.

But it is vilely odious to be an inſtrument by incentive relations to add fuel to the animoſities of diſſenting parties, and be a tale-bearer to keep up that fewd, which might otherwiſe expire through want of nouriſhment. For beſide that ſuch practices uſually prove pernicious, and they that deal in them, as it were, hold a fox by the ears, and ſeldom part without a ſnap, or a ſcratch, if not worſe: It is the Devils work to blow the coal of diſſention; and on the contrary, the peace-makers are reckoned a part among the ſeven Beatitudes.

'Tis therefore every ones duty to bury all corroding language in eternal oblivion: and it will be your wiſdom to have your tongue dipt in Oyl always, in Vinegar never: I mean, not to convey any ſuch relations as ſhall have a bitterneſs in them; nor give any ſuch anſwers in your own cauſe, which ſhall not be lenitive. For how much a ſoft anſwer pacifieth wrath, I p. 31believe you need not look back upon antient examples, how thereby Gideon quieted the Ephraimites, or Abigail David, when Nabals churliſh anſwer had not a little incenſed him; your own occaſions will give you experience enough of this nature: neither will there need much to perſwade you, if in ſuch occurrents you conſult your reaſon, and not your paſſion. For the truth is, it is a fooliſh praefractorineſs that cannot ſtoop to a ſubmiſſion; and 'tis ſurely no leſs then madneſs to think that what was ill done by caſual over-ſight, will be made amends for by a ſtubborn reply.

And here 'twill not be impertinent to adviſe you to be of a meek and calm converſation, by no means apt to take pet at matters of leſs moment, for ſuch captious perſons are like the weathercock, which every winde diſturbs, and diſpoſes into a different Aſpect; by which, as they contract no ſmall diſquietneſs to themſelves, ſo they become very unacceptable to others. But where there is juſt cauſe given, 'tis much better to let the waſps alone, then by contending with them to bring a p. 32ſwarm about your ears: Yet much more inconvenient is it to be a man of ſtrifes, and to ſtudy occaſions to quarrel with others; ſo that none can come neer you without a collar of prickles. For by that means you'll be lookt upon as a fire in all companies, who make ready the hearth of a dry burnt diſcourſe for your entertainment, and ſet out of the way, as too combuſtible to come neer you, what is free and debonair.

And beſides too, ſuch tempers, by their frequent colliſion, do ſtrike fire out of thoſe flints, where otherwiſe none would have appeared, and raiſe up enemies out of that duſt, which if not ſtir'd, would never have flown in their eyes.

But it is an hundred times better to ſtudie the good will of all, rather then to make an enemy of any; and to be of that obliging ſpirit, as to gain the affection of every one (except, as Tacitus ſaith of Sejanus) Quorum voluntas non niſi ſcelere quaeritur: Whoſe kindneſs is to be had not but by a conſociation in wickedneſs. For there is not a Creature ſo contemptible, which may p. 33not be ſomething beneficial, and whoſe friendſhip may not be rather valuable then its enmity. And therefore kindneſſes done meet with requitals many times beyond what could be expected; and 'tis a ſtory well known, That he who prov'd a Chirurgion to the lame Lyon, had his life afterwards ſaved by the ſame Lyon.

And verily, how far a conſtant affability prevails for the gaining of men, make trial, and you'll finde: for daily experience ſhews, that we make thoſe creatures our play-fellowes, which are manſuete and gentle; but keep at a diſtance thoſe, which are fierce and cruel: and the ſurly grim Maſtiff lyes without doors, when we make a Lapdog of him tha tis affable.

What I have next to adviſe you to, is, the practice of Frugality, a virtue expedient for all, but chiefly for you, who like the Silk-worm, muſt ſp n your riches out of your own boſon, having ſuch mean expectations of helps from abroad. That that I have to leave you, being but little at the p. 34moſt; and if I had much, and you being the eldeſt, might challenge the greateſt ſhare, yet there are nine beſides, and a poſſibility of more, which muſt all be furniſhed out into the world as well as you: and well 'twill be, if God give me life and ability to do that. So that the caſe ſtands with you, as in Military affairs, where 'tis running but once, and no hopes of your ever rallying, if you be once routed. I have furniſhed you into the way that you are in, not onelyonly according to my power, but in truth beyond it; therefore if you ſhipwrack now, conclamatum eſt. Be careful then to play your fore-game well, for an after-game will have no place with you; and ſuch wit will be but Phrygian wiſdom, where they are wiſe too late. There will be no hopes of a ſecond ſetting forth, if your firſt miſcarry. And in truth, no man takes that courſe, but goes upon great diſadvantages. For like thoſe who intend to ſow Corn on woody grounds, not only exerciſe that Husbandry which is common to every …rop, but alſo …id out of the way with much labour thoſe p. 35buſhes and rubbiſh which cumber the the Land: So you will finde your ſelf not onelyonly to colluctate with thoſe difficulties which uſually occur in every deſigne, but alſo with thoſe prejudices which every one will take up, upon your firſt miſcarriage; and you'll finde it much more hard to repair a credit once impaired, then to keep that in a flouriſhing greenneſs which was never blaſted.

Be ſure therefore to go out into the world like a ſheet of clean paper, where no blurs or ſcribblements are to be diſcern'd; but let your reputation be like that Virgin purity, not ſtain'd with any thing which may render you ſuſpected to the time to come. For that is the beſt frugality which is ſparing of our credit, which can never be cuſtodited with too great jealouſie, nor expended but with the greateſt loſs. Nor yet think that credit which is gotten with the expence of mony, unleſs God ſhall ſo bleſs you, as that it ſhould be a ſhame to you not to be Noble: For he that expects repute, having a good eſtate, by being ſparing, is like the man who would bring his p. 36horſe to live with nothing; ſo he that would get credit by ſpending high, whilſt his Eſtate is low, doth but blow a Bladder, which will burſt with a ſtink. And be ſure of this, that the firſt ſtep to reputation (next to do virtuouſly) is to have ſomething: and therefore lay out no money, but what neceſſity extorts, or ſuch conveniencie as will be ſure to return with a good Cargo: For obſerve the old Rule, that A penny ſav'd is two pence got; and the way to much is by a little, for the greateſt ſum which can be imagined, was begun in a penny; and 'tis worth your minding, how much he had for his horſe, who ſold him but for an half-penny a nail doubled.

And therefore be skill'd in that part of Arithmetick, which is Addition, and not Subſtraction: for when there is an inclination to take out, and you think 'tis but a ſmall matter; conſider how many dry blows the poor Country-man gives, to earn no more in an whole day, to ſuſtain his Family with bread, then thou ſquandereſt away on thy ſweet tooth, or thy vanity.

And take notice, that as the moſt p. 37ample Structure had but one foreign at the firſt, a corner-ſtone at the beginning: So be certain, that an eſtate is caſilyer propagated from ſomething, though never ſo ſmall, then from nothing; and he that hath one ſhilling, may much ſooner get five, then he a penny, who hath not one farthing. Therefore that Graſier who left behinde him ſome thouſands of yearly Revenue, took care to ſave when he was a poor Drover ſo much, as bought a Calf to begin with. And you may obſerve, there is ſtill the ſame proportion from ſaving a little to make it more; and he that is not frugal in what is ſmall, no wiſe deſerveth to be truſted with much.

But this is of eſpecial conſideration, if you ſhall be intruſted with the keeping of your Maſters Caſh: For on that look with as jealous an eye, as you would do on a plague-ſore, if a thought come in your minde of imploying one penny of it for your own uſe. For know, all that is there muſt be accounted for; and 'twill be ten to one oddes between the eaſineſs of taking out, and of returning it back again.

p. 38A very fit Partner for Frugality, is Induſtry; That what is by ſparing ſaved, may be with diligence improved; and what is ſo improved, be again ſpared. For frugality alone is but ſingle getting; but joyned with induſtry, is double: like thoſe beams of the Sun, which by a repercuſſion from the earth, make that heat not to be indured, which would be hardly warmth otherwiſe. And there, where much cannot be done at once, diligence effects it by degrees, producing by a frequent repetition as great an heat, as more vaſt abilities but leſs active. And it hath been obſerved, that it is not leſs gainful to Navigate in a ſmall Veſſel, which makes quick and frequent returns, then in that which returns but ſeldom, though deeply laden. Therefore the wiſe Solomon directs the ſluggard to go to the Bee and Ant; which infirm creatures plainly ſhew how much the aſſiduity of an induſtrious labour can effect. And verily 'tis an ill homour, when becauſe our means ſuit not with our ends, we will not purſue thoſe ends, which ſuit with our means; and becauſe we cannot do p. 39what we will, we will not do what we can; depriving our ſelves of what is within our power, becauſe we cannot do the things that are above our power: When indeed that's the way to do much more then we can, by doing the many littles that we are able.

And this induſtry truely effects things beyond our own expectations, when we are not diſcouraged by diſſiculties, but incited; and throw not up the buſineſs as deſperate, becauſe not preſently pervious. And let me tell you, of all tempers there's none more to be avoided, the edge of whoſe activity is ſoon abated: for they vilely deſpond at thoſe things as impoſſible, which a more tough diligence doth eaſily ſuperate. For which cauſe, when the Hiſtorian had reckon'd up the many difficulties and dangers which Coſmus that firſt Duke of Etruria had to counflict with, in his Infant-government; he concludes with this Epiphonema: Haec omnia alioqui inexpugnabilia Coſmus patientia & induſtria ſua facile vicit. And verily 'tis no wiſe the part of a man, ſuccumbere difficultatibus, and give up the Set, becauſe the Cards prove p. 40croſs, but by a generous antiperiſtaſis, be hotteſt in our proſecutions, when the coldeſt air blows on our deſigns; and like true Spur-nags, amniti clivo, ſtrain hardeſt againſt the Hill; or like Thunder, tear it there moſt, where we meet with the ſturdieſt and moſt rugged Oak. You need never fear but even the talleſt Cedar will fall at your foot, to whoſe root you applyed inceſſant ſtrokes. On which conſideration I was much taken with his device, who plac'd for his Impreſs a pair of Compaſſ's, with this Motto, Conſtantia & labore; the one foot being fixt, the other in motion.

Beſides, let me tell you, that nothing ſhall conciliate to you more friends, while you are a ſervant, then an induduſtrious officiouſneſs, whilſt you are ready to do what the looks and nods of others intimate that they have a minde to: For as we love mettle in Brute creatures, and take delight when Dogs or Horſes ſhew their ready motion at our whiſtle or chirrup; ſo there's nothing we take more pleaſure in, then a diligent and willing ſervant: for he merits no thanks that doth what p. 41he is bidden, which otherwiſe would be exacted; but we ſet an eſtimate on him, as exceeding our expectations, who by his readineſs, as it were, anticipates our commands.

Neither let it moleſt thee, to do thoſe ſervices which are mean, if they be honeſt: For there is nothing vile, but what is wicked; nor cauſe to be aſhamed of that, which is not facinorous. In the ſenſe of which, we finde Fabritius, that illuſtrious Roman, then tending his own Gridiron, when the Samnite Ambaſſadors came to petition him for peace. And the truth is, 'tis the meer effect of our pride and vanity, that we ſtamp thoſe things as dedecorous, which are good: for bonum & honeſtum are terms convertible; and the Philoſopher defines that honeſtum, quod honore dignum eſt. Hence it is that very ſlight perſons among us ſcorn to put their hands to that, which formerly Kings Daughters made not dainty of. And you may take notice that ſhe is ſet out to us as skill'd in Cookery, whoſe Brother was Solomon in all his glory: but this is the abjectneſs of the age we live in, that idleneſs p. 42is an ornament, and the greateſt Gentility is to do nothing; when as 'tis action onelyonly that is noble; and not only the Celeſtial bodies are in continual motion, but he that is moſt high, is puriſſimus actus.

The next principal conſideration wherein your care is requiſite, is the choice of your Company, wherein every perſon receives as great an allay, both in his reputation and diſpoſition, as waters which paſs through Minerals do, in their taſtes and operations: For we ſee it common, for the world to judge what men are by their familiarities. And that it ſhould be ſo, depends upon the moſt natural reaſon: for we ſee that all things avoid that which is heterogeneous; and not onelyonly Animals, but even conflated Metals eject out of their ſubſtances the leſs ſolid parts: and the liquid bodies of Water and Oyl, are as preciſe in their ſeparations: ſo that as they are all concording in general principles, ſo are they each as ſchiſmatical in their private natures; whereby they not onelyonly preſerve their ſpecifical differences, but p. 43prevent a confuſion, and final reduction to their Original Choas. Hence we ſee that promiſcuous commixtures are Monſters in Nature; and as what God hath joyned, he will have none to put aſunder: ſo what he hath thus put aſunder, will he that none ſhould joyn together. And for this cauſe we read thoſe Analogical injunctions, not to Plow with an Ox and an Aſs, nor wear Garments of Linſey and Woolſey mixt together. I have ſaid all this, onelyonly to let you ſee, how impoſſible 'twill be for you to be thought a perſon of integrity, whilſt you converſe with thoſe that are vitious: And this the rather, becauſe we ſee that all perſons affect ſuch as are like themſelves, or thoſe that they may make ſuch; and if you be neither, you either condemn them as being different, or are condemned by them, becauſe of your difference; and you will finde the ſame cenſure paſt upon you, by all that make judgement of you.

But you will alſo finde that the danger of evil company, is not leſs then the diſcredit. In matters criminal it many times falls out, that our laws p. 44involve a guilt, not onelyonly upon the principal Actors, but alſo upon all the company; as in matters of riot and murther. And in caſes of treaſon even ſilence is capital; and in ſuch company you'll be ingaged, either to betray your friends life, or expoſe your own. Thus Jaureguius who attempted the murther of the Prince of Orange, did not onelyonly bring deſtruction upon himſelf, but on Venerus alſo, who though he dreaded to commit the fact, yet kept his counſel that attempted it: and the diſcovery of the laſt was made meerly by obſervation, that he was ſeen keep company with the former.

But this is not the greateſt danger that evil company brings with it; a deeper miſchief is, that it depraves the minde, and leaves that tang and filth upon the intellectuals and affections, as is not to be abſters'd without much ado by better counſels. And the fatality of this miſchief is ſeen by the contagion of it upon the pureſt mindes: Joſeph having learn'd in Egypt to ſwear by the life of Pharaoh. And the natural proneneſs that is in us to evil, makes p. 45us ſpungy to receive this unhappy tincture, and ſpreads the venome of it at ſuch a rate, that there are few that finde an antidote ſtrong enough to prevent it. And the diſmal overthrows of many, coming out into the world well diſpoſed, who have been profligated hereby, ring ſo ſhrill a peal to all that are obſerving, as that we may well condemn him as brutiſh, who is not affected with it. For if you beſpeak thoſe whoſe fortunes are deplored, and ask the reaſon why they are ſo, ſcarce one of them but ſhall tell you, that it was evil company that did it.

There being therefore an innate propenſity in man to aſſociation; Anachoriſm being an affect rather of muſt and melancholy, then of choice and election: It being alſo a part of our belief, the Communion of Saints; which conſiſteth not onelyonly in that of the ſpirit, but alſo in perſonal converſe. And Earl Goodwyns obſervation of the Confeſſors Cup-bearer, when he ſtumbled with the one foot, and recovered himſelf with the other, ſhewing that we have need of the aſſiſtances of p. 46one another: For if one fall, the other ſhall help his fellow; but woe be to him that is alone. 'Tis not therefore the leaſt part of our wiſdom, to make choice of ſuch company, as may be of uſe to us, and not an hindrance in our concerns.

It is therefore good to chuſe ſuch for your familiars, as (if otherwiſe well qualified) excel in their Way: for as it is a felicity by fate beſtowed on ſome to lead the Cry in every Art and Science, and ingenious Myſterie; ſo there is an innate diſpoſition in ſuch, ad captandam laudem, to skim off the Cream of their abilities, and beſtow them as a largeſs upon the company they converſe with; by which means you may obtain thoſe excellencies in Epitome, which they got together with much rubbiſh and cumber. We read therefore, that upon this account the rarer Artiſts of ancient time in Philoſophy, Zography and Sculpture, thought it worth the while to undertake long and dangerous peregrination… into forraign parts, onelyonly to converſe with thoſe whom fame reported to excel. And without doubt theſe walking p. 47Libraries are of the greateſt uſe; and knowledge never comes in more richly fraighted, then when it ſets ſail from ſuch continents. 'Tis therefore obſerved, that Francis the firſt King of France, though he came to the Crown young and unlearned; yet by his delight in the diſcourſes or Learned men, (whom he would always have about him) he attained ſo great ability, as exceeded the proportion of the moſt learned Princes of his time. And I my ſelf knew a perſon taken raw from his ſtudies (being choſen into the Houſe of Commons before he was twenty one) and who from that time very much laid aſide reading; yet by aſſociating himſelf with the moſt knowing men, contracted ſo great a ſufficiencie, that I have heard him diſcourſe of Philoſophical and Theological controverſies, as much to my admiration, as it was beyond what I did expect. And I alſo obſerved, that he did greatly vindicate himſelf from that contempt which his youth might ſubject him to, by his accompanying with ſuch perſons as were eſteemed wiſe: for the world could not but conclude, that p. 48he either was wiſe, or would ſoon be ſo, whoſe company was ſuch. And you will ſinde this a rare advantage in converſing with knowing men, that you will have at hand thoſe who are able to adviſe you, and willing too, if you be but ſo to take it. For there is a natural indulgence that every knowing perſon hath over thoſe that are ignorant, which makes them willing and ready to enlarge to them the relief of good counſel, when they need it. And if counſel be the ſtrength of Kingdoms, it can be of no leſs uſe in our private concerns, if God give us an heart to ask and take it: for when young men are adviſed by thoſe like themſelves, giddy headed, and precipitate (which commonly they like beſt, becauſe it ſuits their humours) they are intangled like young Rehoboam in thoſe incumbrances, whence they cannot explicate themſelves by a too late repentance: therefore take ſuch for your companions, who have already ſow'd their wilde oats, and are by long hunting grown too ſtanch to ſet an haunt; by which means you'll reap the benefit of their dear-bought experience, and prevent your own.

p. 49But chiefly take care to fix upon ſuch company, who are perſons ſtudious of their reputations, men not of a dirty and degenerous temper: For ſome there are, whom nature hath moulded up of the courſeſt clay; whoſe not onelyonly brains repreſent meer rubbiſh, but their very diſpoſitions are of thoſe ſordid faeces, which give a tendencie to condeſcend to the moſt ignoble and abject things; whence they'll never think much (howſoever vilely) to abuſe, or betray you; when as thoſe who are of an elate and generous ſpirit, have a natural reluctancie to thoſe things which they judge unworthy; and are hardly induc'd by the extremeſt neceſſity, to comply with that, which degenerate tempers never make dainty of.

And upon this account alſo, never ſort your ſelf with ſuch perſons as are below you; for as their reputations will not bear an equal ballance with yours, ſo muſt yours be as much depreſt, as may make it even with theirs; and ſo muſt your expences be as much beyond your own proportion, as their quality is below that which you pretend to: and p. 50they will have a confidence to ſlip their heads out of the collar, and leave you to pay all, as if they had done you a kinde of courteſie, in acknowledging your ſuperiority. And 'tis pretty to obſerve how ſuch will claw the itch of your petty ambition with ſuch titles of dignity as they think will pleaſe you, till they have laid you in a ſweat, and made your pores open, and you become melted to effund according to their humour.

But above all, avoid ſuch company as are given to drink; for with whom are wounds without cauſe, but with them that are mighty to drink ſtrong drink? The drunken man being fera humana ſpecie, and therefore ſuch are as unfit for converſe as ſhe-Bears and Lyons, who conſcious of their own ferity, walk alone; while more manſuete Creatures aſſociate themſelves in Flocks and Herds. Clitus ſlain by Alexander, and an hundred more examples, tell what a Devil is drink; which if it raign any where in the poſſeſſed moſt, it is in our own Country; where they ply their buſineſs beyond compare, and are computed to p. 51drink more Sack in a year, then any other Nation doth in three. And though the German did bear away the Bell for drinking; yet it was rather long, then much, being content to pelt his enemy at a diſtance: Whereas we are after the modern way of fight, altogether for down-blows, being impatient till the oppoſite have a total rout. The drinking of Healths too, being a deſigne like that of the ſervants of David and Saul at the Pool of Gibeon, where they took each other by the Beards, and every one ſmote his fellow under the fifth rib, that they fell down together. If therefore you love your body, your ſoul, your credit, or your purſe, let ſuch perſons be impriſon'd (for the moſt part they are) in the Tavern or Ale-houſe, and do not you come neer them.

Neither let ſuch be your aſſociates as have been nefarious, or have a brand of guilt upon them; for judgement, though it be ſlow, yet 'tis ſure. And though God have long patience, yet he hath long hands too, and reacheth the guilty at a great diſtance, between the ſin and the puniſhment; which doth not p. 52ſeldom involve with it, after the Perſian mode, their familiars too. Neither do we read any other immediate cauſe of the death of Ahaziah, then that he was in the company of King Joram, then, when God was executing judgement upon the houſe of Ahab. In the ſenſe of which, ſtory tells of St. John the Apoſtle, that he run out of the Bath into which the Heretick Cerinthus came, leſt, as Corah and his company, he ſhould be involv'd with him in the ſame judgement. For which cauſe we read of that advice, Come out of her my people, and be ye not partakers of her ſins, leſt ye be partakers alſo of her plagues.

But let ſuch be your company, as for whoſe ſakes God may bleſs you alſo; ſuch as Joſeph, of whom 'tis ſaid, Gen. 39.5. That after the time that Joſeph was made overſeer of Potiphars houſe, that God bleſſed the Egyptian for Joſephs ſake: and the bleſſing of the Lord was upon all that he had, in the houſe, and in the field. And verily, when we read that God would have ſpared five Cities, for the ſake but of ten perſons, Gen. 18. and that God did p. 53ſpare one of them for but the conveniencie of Lot, Gen. 19.21. we cannot ſufficiently take a ſeantling how far the intereſt of a good man doth impoſe upon the Almighty; and what an advantage it is to have a ſhare in their prayers, who have ſo much of favour in the Court of Heaven. But beſides, conſider what a benefit it is to be conducted in the ways that are good, by the ſplendor of the vertue of thoſe that are our familiars; to have ſuch about us as ſhall be ready to ſay, Come let us go up to the houſe of the Lord; and preſent thee with motions of well-doing, inſtead of thoſe, who ſhall play the Devils part, and tempt thee to evil.

Now in thy converſation with thy familiars, be adviſed in a few things.

1. Let not thy friendſhip to them induce thee at any time, to do that which is evil. The ſaying of St. Auguſtine may well be applyed, Amicus Plato, amicus Cicero, ſed magis amicus Chriſtus. The greateſt friendſhip is to be uſeful for heaven. And where the higheſt relations wherein nature hath obliged us, intrench upon that intereſt, p. 54we have a warrant to ſuperſede our complyance: For he that loveth father or mother more then me, is not worthy of me.

2. Let not thy affection over-ballance thy prudence, and draw thee to things prejudicial to thy credit, or dangerous to thy eſtate: For he is none of thy friend, that would injure thy reputation; nor art thou thine own, if thou wouldeſt damage thine own concerns for another. Friendſhip indeed is a ſacred thing, and deſerves our deareſt acknowledgement; nor any one thing is there, wherein a man ſhews himſelf more a man: But alas, (that I may ſpeak like a School-maſter) Ʋbi gentium, quo terrarum abiit? If thy ſpirit ſhould be ſo generous, as to engage thee beyond thine own intereſt, in the relation of a friend; where wilt thou finde a correlative? Ancient ſtory tells indeed of a Damon and Pythias, Pylades and Oreſtes, which mutually contended which ſhould dye for other; and Talkative Greece hath not been ſparing to tell their praiſes: But now terras Aſtraea reliquit. And the preſent age is ſo far from this kinde of p. 55friendſhip, that it is hardly found reſponſible in common gratitude; but moſt men then ſhake off their friends, when they have no need of their friends, or their friends have need of them. Beſides, if you go to Ludgaie or the Counters, you ſhall not finde ſo many perſons blaming the prodigalities of themſelves, as curſing the ingratitude of their friends; who left them in the lurch, when then they had drawn them in to be obliged. And verily 'tis a pitiful ſolace for a man, whom ſuretiſhip hath made ſure, and intricated in the confinements of a loathſome priſon, to conſider, that he is become ſo, for thoſe who frollick it in that liberty, which they obtain'd by bringing him into the net; or that the world ſhould ſay of him, he was a man of a good nature, and no bodies foe but his own.

3. Diſcover not thoſe concerns to any of thy familiars, which may revert either to thy damage, or diſcredit, if preſent friendſhip ſhall be changed into unexpected enmity: For 'tis a pitiful and precarious life, which depends upon the taciturnity of another; p. 56and that is a ſlender credit which holds by the weak thred of anothers ſilence; who may diſcloſe thy counſel, either by a natural talkative humour, or by the power of Wine, or a deſigne to oblige another by thy betraying: For beſides that there is an impoſſibility in ſome tempers to ſtand out a ſiege, and not be expugn'd, when cloſely ply'd, as we ſee Sampſon himſelf twice in this kinde routed; ſo is it a miſerable captivity to lye at the merciemercy of another, and at his diſcretion to be hang'd, drawn and quartered, with thoſe very inſtruments which were of thy own ſupplying. And men generally upon ſuch advantages are as imperious, as a Maid that is heir to her Miſtreſs; and take pleaſure to make that yoke pinch and wring, into which thine own folly thruſt thy head, and from whence thou haſt not confidence enough to pull it out.

4. Reſerve to thy ſelf always a liberty of breaking company; and give up the purſuit, when the Cry hunts not according to thy judgement, or thy private concerns ſound a retreat: For as it is little prudence to buy, by p. 57what another bids; ſo is he as little wiſe, that to keep pace with anothers expences, will put his own purſe out of breath. And verily, as I have thought it unjuſt that another ſhould force me to pledge an whole one, becauſe he began it, without reſpect had whether my body or head will bear it; ſo I think 'tis then wiſdom to leave thy friend, when he proves an Ignis fatuus, and would lead thee into a quagmire, intangle thee in conteſts and animoſities not eaſily explicated; or, expect that thou for company ſhould bleed as many ounces as he; the repleated veins of whoſe eſtate may allow phlebotomy, when thine wants juyce of Raiſons. Therefore ballance thou thine expences, not by the poiſe of anothers ſpending, but by the juſter weight of thine own abilities; and think it good manners then to break company, when to put on were like the accompanying with a foul woman, for which thou muſt dearly ſmart afterwards.

But be eſpecially adviſed, not to have any familiarity with the Maidſervants p. 58of the family where you are, more then what conduceth to the diſpatching of general affairs, and ſuch an affability as is common and due to all: for thoſe kinde of cattle have commonly the Stuttle-bee, and are as weary of a ſingle life, as Nuns of their Cloiſters, and therefore catch at the very appearance of a match; and if you ſhew them any kindneſs more then ordinary, they interpret it affection, and make no dainty to challenge you upon that account: wherein if you correſpond not, they hate you worſe then an old decayed woman doth a young flouriſhing beauty. And therefore they rake Hell to finde out inventions to reck their ſpite on you, and value not how they wound their own reputation, ſo that they might ſtick yours through it; like Richard the Third, who ſcrupl'd not to make his Mother an whore, that he might prove his Brother illegitimate. Neither will their malice thus have its bellyful, but refuſeth ſatiety till you be ruined. Of which the City of London hath given too many, and too pertinent examples, where have been thoſe, who by falſe p. 59accuſations have brought thoſe young men to ſhameful exits, whom they could not bring down to their unworthy deſignes.

There is therefore ſcarce any ſubject deſerves your more abundant caution, unleſs it be the treachery of a fellow-Prentice; who if he be facinorous, you may well hang up votivas tabulas, if you do eſcape him: For the Devil is not a much more cunning tempter, then ſuch an one proves, whoſe deſigne is to leſſen his own crime by your copartnerſhip, or to facilitate the excentions of his wickedneſs by thy conſociation; wherein he congratulates himſelf in this at leaſt, that he ſhall have company in his puniſhment, and that thou art involv'd in the ſame condemnation: Though his deſigne be, by thy betraying to excuſe himſelf, and expoſe thee, like the Turkiſh Aſapi, to blunt the edge of the rage of the offended. Therefore incredible are the Artifices that thoſe blouded miſcreants have to betray innocent Lads, and decoy them into deſtruction. And happy is he whom God keeps, and indues with ſo much prudence as p. 60to avoid the danger: But if ſuch occurrent ſhould befal you, be ſetled upon the baſis of faithfulneſs and honeſty; and like the German, when he hath to deal with the nimble Italian, be reſolv'd that nothing ſhall raviſh thee from thoſe principles of Truth and Juſtice, which thy judgement is convinc'd of.

To this advice concerning your company, I may ſubjoyn that which relateth to your diſcourſe, wherein obſerve,

1. That your diſcourſe be rather little then much; for a fool is known by his much ſpeaking: and it is much better to be eſteemed too moroſe and reſerv'd, then by an impertinen babling, to be the ſubject of others deriſion; beſides the danger of ſpeaking that which may be queſtioned, cannot be recall'd; whereas, Little ſaid may be ſoon amended.

3. Let it be rather free then affected; for there is nothing acceptable of this ſort that is not natural; for a very clown in his own language comes off better, then he that by a Romantick p. 61Bumbaſte doth thunder-thump his hearer into an aequilibrium between ſcorn and wonder.

3. Let it be rather wiſe then witty, for much wit hath commonly much froth; and 'tis hard to jeſt, and not ſometimes jeer too; which many times ſinks deeper then was intended or expected; and what was deſign'd for mirth, ends in ſadneſs.

4. Let it be of that Virgin-parity, which knows no ſtain of that which is obſcene: for if evil communications corrupt good manners, 'tis in nothing more, then if they be filthy. And as it is a double iniquity to talk filthily of what was done wickedly; ſo is he juſtly condemned as vile, whoſe diſcourſe is obſcoene; becauſe out of the abundance of the heart the mouth ſpeaketh.

5. Let not thy diſcourſe be to deride the infirmities, or natural imperfections of another: For in this caſe, what our Lord ſaid to the accuſers of the woman, may be ſaid to all: He that is without ſin, let him throw the firſt ſtone. There being no man that blames another, but himſelf comes under p. 62the laſh in ſome other kinde. It being as natural for men to erre, as to be; and the pureſt Gold of upright men, that ever we read extant, had yet ſomething of an allay. And no doubt but thine own conſcience will condemn thy ſelf, while thou art the ſharp reprehender of anothers folly. Beſides, it argues a dirty temper, to be ſo Sive-like, as to let paſs the finer Flour, and take pleaſure onelyonly to toſs about the Bran, and refuſe, which even the beſt Wheat is not without.

But to make a ſcoff of natural defects, is to make a mock of the God of nature; who acts nothing in vain, or without its reaſon. It might (it may be) be ſomewhat excuſable for thee to deride the wants of another, if thou hadſt been the workman in thine own compoſure; but while that thou wer't fearfully and wonderfully made, and now canſt not add one cubit to thy Stature: So ſhould anothers defects be the motive of thy thankfulneſs, and not the object of thy laughter; conſidering that thy perfection is the effect, p. 63not of thine own care, but the Divine goodneſs.

6. Do not concern thy ſelf in thy diſcourſe, with the publick management of affairs of State: For it is a kinde of ſerious madneſs, to intereſt our ſelves in the diſpoſure of thoſe things which are ſo much above us, in the judgement whereof we are generally deceived: It being the intent of States-men to reſerve their deſignes conceal'd, and ſtudy to appear what they leaſt intend. But ſhouldſt thou be in the right, thou art never like to be askt thy counſel; and ſo all thy contrivance is but to make a man of clouts for thy ſelf to play with. But the humour of ſome is abominable, to murmur at Authorities, and pleaſe themſelves in complaining of their Superiours: Whereas 'tis the principal part of ſubjection, to ſubmit our ſelves to the diſcretion of thoſe that rule us; and the firſt ſtep to Rebellion, is, when inſtead of doing commands, we diſpute them. The beſt way to prevent the evil effects of Government, is, not to quarrel with their actions, but amend our own. For as p. 64that Engliſhman anſwered ſeriouſly, who (when the Engliſh were driven out of France, in the time of Henry the Sixth, being upbraidingly askt by a Frenchman, when they intended to return into France again) ſaid, When your ſins are greater then ours: So will the removing of evil government (when at any time God ſhall bring it) be, not the effect of thy murmur, but repentance; for which cauſe the Hiſtorian doth well reckon up evil Magiſtrates among the effects Divinae actionis, as Famines and Peſtilences, which we cannot otherwiſe prevent, but by repenting.

7. But eſpecially let not thy diſcourſe intrench upon that veneration, which is always due to the Divine Being, his Attributes, Ordinances and Words: for as it argues a great profaneneſs, not to dread him that ought to be feared, who ſhakes not the earth onelyonly, but alſo heaven: ſo can it be never ſafe to play with ſuch edge-tools, as cannot be unwiſely uſed without danger; or make a jeſting buſineſs of that, for which God hath ſaid he will in no wiſe hold a man guiltleſs. And verily, p. 65it is a ſtrange impiety our days are grown to, whereby not onelyonly as formerly, men make a ſport of jeering Godlineſs, but they make no ſpare of jeering God himſelf; and ſeem to know the Scriptures for no other end, but to uſe them as Tennis-balls for recreation. But if God be in heaven, and thou upon the earth, and therefore ſhould thy words be few, there's a greater reaſon that they ſhould be reverend.

My next advice ſhould be for the choice of your Recreations, wherein perhaps you may think advice is not ſo pertinent; becauſe trahit ſua quem que voluptas, and every man chuſes recreation as he is inclin'd; yet, I ſuppoſe, 'tis not amiſs to deſire, that here, you ſhould love with diſcretion, and direct your thoughts that way, from whence may (if not the moſt of emolument) yet certainly the leaſt of damage enſue. That you ſhould not make your recreation your buſineſs, nor (as one quibled not unwittily) your vacation your vocation, I need not admoniſh. Neceſſity hath impos'd that p. 66law upon you, to work or not eat. You being, I hope, of too much ſpirit to play the paraſite, and pitch up toyls to catch Dear in a platter: But were it not ſo, I ſhould abhor the thought of your living uſeleſly; and be like a Spunge, which breeds no moiſture, but onelyonly is ſqueez'd out of that which it extraneouſly contracteth. And ſurely more deſpicable creatures the world bears not, then thoſe Gráſhoppers and Butterflies, which are onelyonly imploy'd to ſing away their time, and buz about in the warm Sunſhine.

Therefore in general, ſuch recreation is to be choſen, as may relax, or unbend the minde or body from their too intent devoires, not ſuch as may retund and weary them. For which cauſe, as I always thought, that they would give a pitiful account of their time ſpent, who ſit up till midnight at Cards and Dice: So had I never any fancie to thoſe recreations, which as they exerciſe not the body, ſo they rather diſturb, then relax the minde. Beſides the provocation to paſſion and vain ſpeaking, whereby we highly diſpleaſe God, while we deſigne to pleaſe p. 67our ſelves. Without doubt thoſe recreations are beſt, which mix pleaſure and profit together.

For which cauſe, the reading of Hiſtory or Geography, are not of the leaſt note, and proper for thoſe whoſe trade (as yours) being for ſtanding and motion of the body, have a meet relaxation in the ſedentary poſture of reading. Beſides the delight which the minde may take in the account of paſſed times, or the diſcovery of remote Lands, and enjoy with eaſe and quiet the diſcoveries which others have made with care and travail, and manifold hazards: Whereby you will not onelyonly reap a greater delight, then thoſe that go to viſit curious Structures, or beautified Gardens; but alſo attain ſo great accompliſhment, as may render you acceptable to all ingenious perſons; compleating not onelyonly your own knowledge in the affairs of the world and forreign parts, but alſo enabling you to diſcourſe with thoſe, who at their great coſts, have been ocular ſpectators of remote Regions. And moreover (which is not a ſmall advantage) you will be furniſhed p. 68with ſuch a ſtock of examples, of the ſucceſſes which good and bad have had before you, as may be not of a little conduct to you in your own affairs; and as lights on a rocky ſhore, be uſeful to prevent your ſhip wrack.

And further too, you will not be interrupted by this kinde of divertiſement from being at hand, to attend upon ſuch occurrents as may accidently preſent themſelves: for he verily was not out, whoſe Proverb was, Keep thy ſhop, and thy ſhop will keep thee. Attendance to him that drives a Trade, being as neceſſary to thriving, as the eye of a Maſter to make an Horſe fat; not onelyonly preventing thereby the miſhaps, which many times befal through abſence; but alſo being ready to take occaſion by the forelock, and make uſe of any thing which comes to your advantage: which if you're out of the way, goes to another place, and never inquires after you any further; meeting with ſuch things as quite juſtle out all thoſe thoughts which they had of you. It is therefore very expedient (like a ſhort bowl) to lye in the way, p. 69and in likelihood to be knockt up neerer the Miſtreſs.

But if this be lookt upon as too melancholy and reſtrain'd, and you ſeem to need more of motion, and a freer Air; to walk with ſome friend in the open Air, is a pleaſurable and healthful recreation; when you have not only the pleaſure of diſcourſe to delight the minde, but alſo the agitation of the walk, to exerciſe the body: For the way which ſome delight in, when buſineſs is over, to ſit and tope at a Club, is like the hanging of a Blote-Herring in the ſmoke, when a cloſe room, and the ſteam of Tobacco, muſt needs be as conducing to health, as Lincolnſhire-Fens are expedient to prevent an Ague.

The Dancing and the Fencing-School (the recreations of ſome) are both ſubject to alike inconvenience in this, that they draw to company (for the moſt part) not commendable; and the refunding of ſuch conventions, is (for the moſt part) into a Tavern; Such company ſeldom breaking up, without a parting cup. But they have beſides too, their particular evils. The p. 70firſt inducing thee to ſhew thine abilities among the Ladies; where, if not advis'd, thou art drawn in, beyond a retreat; or at leaſt, to frisk away much of thy time and eſtate. The other expoſing thee to ſuch conteſts, wherein, while it pretends to enable thee, thou art often left in the lurch; thy skill being beaten out of the field by a reſolute fool-hardineſs, and thine art (uſed to conflict with art) findes it ſelf oppoſed with that courage and paſſion which with unlearned blows deſignes not ſo much its own defence, as thy ruine. So that not a few more, taught in the art of Fencing, have miſcarried, ingaging upon the confidence of their skill, then ever were by that their skill defended.

But the great divertiſement of the preſent age, is the frequenting of Plays; which in the practice of it among us, doubleſs is very vitious, where the deſigne is laid, rather to corrupt youth, then to inform it; and matter is ſo apparelled, as ſeems rather to irritate luſt, then to ab… it: Perſons generally coming from thence, not often p. 71much the wiſer, very often much the viler.

The courting of Ladies is a pleaſant (indeed) and gentile divertiſement; ſo I call it; for he is mad that makes it his buſineſs, or thinks it worth his while, to ſet a ſeal upon a bubble: yet I muſt tell you, it is accompanyed with not a few, nor ſmall inconveniences: for you can hardly be fantaſtick enough in your attire, to ſuit their fancie; nor your diſcourſe vain enough to fit their humour: for though ſome few of them will Philoſophize, the generality of them are ſo futile, that you have little cauſe to wonder the Poets imagin'd Venus concreta ſpumâ. Beſides, for the expence, a Coach and ſix Horſes is not more coſtly; for he that courts a Lady without gifts, calls an Hawk without a Lure; which they are free to receive, not to requite; looking upon what you give, not as the effect of your bounty, but their merit; and that you are richly rewarded with ſome kinder ſneer, or more affable compliance.

But alſo, a Treat is as neceſſary an Appendix of this practice, as a good p. 72Log for Chriſtmas, which they value meerly by its coſt; wherein to be provident, is eſteemed baſe; and you are dirty, if you examine how you are particularly cheated.

Moreover, this practice is not without its danger: for if it be a beauty under covert, 'tis impoſſible to act your love ſo Platonically, as not to give offence to the yellow ſtockens; and then remember, Jealouſie is the rage of a man; and if it be poſſible to know when it began, you ſhall never know when 'twill end.

If it be an aſſociated beauty which you wait upon, you are ſure to finde that ſtock dear to buy, becauſe 'tis vy'd for. And they have the art to raiſe the commodity, by the contention of the bidders: So that there's nothing to be had there, but what's inhanc'd. Beſides, in this you're certain either to quarrel with your Rivals for the feather of her fancie in dangerous conteſts, or be reflected upon (if you are wiſer) as cowardly, degenerous.

If it be a ſolitary beauty you court, which as yet is intemerata virgo; ſo p. 73that none beſides take to the ſent; ſhe will not long be ſo: for your attendance will be but like the Fowlers Stale, the appearance of which, brings but others to the net. And therefore they delight to have ſuch an one ſhew'd, and how related; which though it may be you are ſhy of, and would enjoy yours by your ſelf, yet they hate this kinde of privacy, thinking that ware judg'd marketable, that hath ſtore of cuſtomers. But beſides, though your intentions perhaps are general, yet the facile woman thinks you have a particular affection, and judges that while you but court her as a Miſtreſs, you woe her as a wife; and ſo is apt, either to engage her own affection beyond the reach of an honourable retreat, or hath thence confidence enough to challenge you with thoſe promiſes and obligations, which your frolick tongue might be free to utter, but you not free to make good. And which is worſe, the world is apt to impoſe upon you too, and either judge you vain, to level at that mark which you intended not to hit; or perfidious, to deſert thoſe colours for want p. 74of Pay, under which you liſted your ſelf as a Volunteer. But this is not all; for fair faces, and taking behaviours, are apt to enkindle irregular deſires, and engage the fancie in thoſe amorous Flames, which if thoſe you treat are too honourable and chaſte to comply with, you may be induc'd to quench in the Barathrum of a common ſewer; and then into how deep a Ditch you plunge your ſelf, Solomon will tell you; whence we muſt not expect you to emerge, but with a carbonadoed body, and decocted eſtate; which God forbid.

But of all Recreations, there's none more healthful or more delightful, then to ride abroad on a good horſe; whereby you have not onelyonly the freſh Air, and the delightful proſpect of pleaſant Fields, variated as you make your journey; but your body is exerciſed without its own labour, and the ſpirits actuated without wearineſs. An Horſe being a creature deſtinated by the Divine appointment for the eaſe and delight of man: Of that Air and generous ſpirit, that while his loftineſs ſcorns ſervitude, he yet ſeems to take pleaſure to do ſervice to you, and acts not p. 75out of a forreign compulſion, but an innate metal, being for eaſe and ornament; and therein going beyond that of gay apparel.

But to buy an Horſe, and not be able to judge of him; or to keep an Horſe, and not be acquainted with his concerns, whether he be well or ill, duly ordered, or otherwiſe; is the highway to be abus'd, and to make a vexation of your pleaſure: For in putting off an Horſe, men commonly uſe the largeſt conſciences; and thoſe which will ſcruple at the Tithing of Aniſe and Cummin otherwiſe, will in this caſe make no bones of a Sirloyn of Beef. 'Tis therefore beſt to buy, not upon report, but your own judgement; which you may eaſily attain by obſervation, and the comparing of an unſound Horſe with a ſound one; having a curious eye, that letteth paſs not any thing without note, from the lip to the very heels, bringing every part to a ſtrict examination. And be adviſed never to buy an Horſe which you ſee hath a fault; for 'tis a chance (when you have bought him) if he have not faults which you did not ſee.

p. 76In the experience which I have had in this kinde, I have obſerved, that it is better to buy an Horſe that is fat, then otherwiſe; becauſe then you may be ſure good meat will make him ſo, which 'twill never do with ſome: and 'tis to be ſuppos'd, that no man will bring his Horſe to market out of fleſh, if a ſmall matter will make him ſo: Moreover, ſtore of fleſh is an argument that that Horſe hath not been ſurfeited; or if he hath, that it is well worn out.

I have further taken notice, that it is not good to buy an Horſe that hath any diſparity in his ſhape, as, long poſtern'd, inward knee'd, narrowwaſted; becauſe the principal excellencie in an Horſe, being his ſtrength and nimbleneſs; what may render him defective in theſe, makes him ſo much uſeleſs.

'Tis alſo beſt, not to lay out money upon an Horſe that hath not good going. For that being the end, for which commonly men buy, that they may be accommodated in their eaſie carriage, you will finde that Horſe hard to put off, which hath not this to p. 77recommend him. 'Tis therefore very good always before you buy, to feel the Horſes going under you; for you thereby may not onelyonly beſt judge of his pace and mettle, but alſo diſcover any lameneſs or imperfection, which he would not diſcover when manag'd by a Rider, who endeavours its concealment: For which cauſe alſo, 'tis very expedient to run an Horſe in hand upon the ſtones or ſome hard gound while another rides him; for the Horſe having his tread free, to make his complaint with it, and preſt with the weight of the Rider, will diſcover any foundring, ſtrain, or old infirmity, which otherwiſe he would make no ſhew of. But this diſcourſe may be more ſeaſonable many years hence, if it ſhall pleaſe God ſo to bleſs your ſubſtance, as that you may bear the charge of ſuch a convenience: For an Horſe is a great eater, and will not be maintained without a very conſiderable coſt; which no wiſe agrees with him, that hath not a purſe proportionable to bear it. Indeed, when out of the eater comes forth meat, and an Horſe is for profit, as well as convenience, the caſe p. 78is altered; but this ſeldom happens to thoſe in the City. And as ſeldom is it, if ever, that thoſe who are not very fluſh men, and keep houſe in Town, do not therewith ride their Eſtates off their legs, and bring themſelves to a ſpeedie ruine.

As to what concerns your converſe with men, let it be your choice to deal with thoſe which are honeſt; which yet ſo deal with, as to prevent the miſchief, if they ſhould deceive you, and prove to be Knaves. For as there are many, to whom conſcience of their duty is as forcible as an hundred obligations to binde them to do uprightly; ſo are there not a few, who make pretended ſincerity, as a cloak to cover their deceit, and make it their buſineſs to fiſh with that bait; whom to diſcern is as diſſicult, as the invention of the Philoſophers Stone; and you will be never taught it, but by dearbought experience.

But be moſt cautious of thoſe that ſpeak the faireſt, eſpecially if that be ſubitane, or extraordinary: for though it be a common way to give pills in p. 79pap, and adminiſter that which is bitter, wrapt up in ſweet-meat; yet this is ſo natural, that it is ſtill in uſe; and ſtratagems are all in general thus contriv'd, though diverſifyed in mode and figure. And what he ſaid by his own experience ſo many years ago, Tuta frequenſ que via eſt, per amici fallere nomen; you may meet with five hundred, who can by their own experience tell you the ſame ſtill.

But then be wary to conceal your ſuſpitions, leſt of a dubious friend you make a doubtleſs enemy; and he that before onelyonly intended to ſerve his own ends of you, now deſignes to vent his malice too.

Yet however, do not profeſs animoſities with any man: for beſides that it is moſt unchriſtian to keep anger over-night; and we have no other promiſe of being forgiven of God, then as we forgive one another; it is doubtleſs very imprudent: For there is no creature ſo inconſiderable, which may not finde an opportunity to vent its ſpite, with thy miſchief; which God hath admoniſhed us of, in that he p. 80hath made the Elephant, the biggeſt of Beaſts, obnoxious to the Mouſe, the leaſt of them; by whoſe running up his Trunk, he is more plagued, then by any of his ſtouteſt adverſaries. And ſtory tells of the moſt valiant Kings, who have fallen by the hand of the meaneſt Raſcals: and I remember I read of a Turkiſh Viſier ſlain in the very Divan by a Gregarian Souldier, whom he had many years before abuſed, who by a long perplext contrivance, had from that very time laid a train for the execution of his revenge; which he reſolved to effect, though certain to periſh in the adventure. Therefore if any diſputes or offences do occur, which it is hard alwayes to avoid; let them be acted with as little paſſion as may be; that the concerned perſon may plainly ſee, that the conteſt was not the effect of thine envie, but intereſt; and then too, let thy next congreſſion be with as ſerene a look as may be: For as we uſe to ſay; The ſecond blow makes the fray; ſo the next meeting either makes up a quarrel, or perpetuates it.

But on the other hand, be ready to p. 81oblige all with real kindneſſes, at leaſt kinde words: For, as William Prince of Orange was wont to ſay, That man is little worth, who is not worth a ſalutation: So may we ſay, That man is of little remark, who is not worth a few fair words, that coſt nothing. And verily, this kinde of affability and officious reſpect to men, conduceth not a little to attract their good opinion: And the contrary diſguſteth thoſe many times, who are not unwiſe men; and cauſeth them to ſet a note of diſlike upon thoſe, who have paſſed by them without that acknowledgement of reſpect, which they conceived due to themſelves.

You ſhall moreover finde a principal way of obliging others to conſiſt in the art of conferring courteſies handſomely; ſo to beſtow them, as that they may have the beſt ſide turn'd outwards, and be made moſt acceptable. In which reſpect 'tis beſt to anticipate the expectation of the receiver, and do before you're askt: For there are many modeſt tempers, that ſtrain ſo much upon their own inclinations to intreat a kindeneſs, that they think p. 82in ſo doing they have dearly bought it. But if you are requeſted, what you intend to do, delay not; for hope deferred makes the heart ſad; and 'twas Seneca's obſervation, Qui cito dat, his dat. But if thou art askt, and muſt deny, let the party ſee 'twas not out of choice, but neceſſity; and hand it to him with ſuch ſoft words, as may even oblige him, in the handſomneſs of the repulſe.

Yet in this, and indeed in all other affairs, the tempers of thoſe perſons you deal with muſt be carefully obſerv'd: for many ſpirits are like gravelly Land, whoſe heat and barrenneſs is ſuch, as never requites the charge beſtow'd on it. You will therefore generally finde courteſies thrown away upon perſons that are proud or covetous: the one being of that fondneſs, as to think all but his own deſert; the other of that baſeneſs, as to ſet a very low value upon the higheſt merit. To do a benefit therefore for ſuch as theſe, that will be coſtly to you, with hope of requital, proves like money and pains expended in the queſt of the Philoſophers ſtone; which hath p. 83hitherto evaporated in ſmoak and fruſtration.

You may hence obſerve, that the ſtudying of the diſpoſitions of men, is of great uſe; not onelyonly in what I have ſaid, but alſo in the management of all affairs: For it is much more eaſie to act a deſigne upon a man, to which he is naturally inclin'd, then otherwiſe. Therefore he that intends to bring a covetous man to act liberally, may as well expect to make a Water Spaniel of a Sheep, or good meat of a Whetſtone. 'Tis beſt then to make uſe of ſuch in the chanel wherein they run; and thoſe commonly are free of their words, who are cloſe of their coyn; and will be ready to do you any kindneſs wherein they may ſpeak for you, when they had rather part from their blouds, then let you have a penny of their money. And if you expect that ſuch as theſe ſhould do handſomely, when in the fag-end of a bargain you leave a piece of Plate, or ſuchlike gratuity to their diſpoſition; you are as certainly diſappointed, as if you ſhould look that a dogs tail ſhould afford you frankincenſe. And verily that ſtory p. 84is here worth the remembring, of the Juſtices Clerk ſent by his Maſter to preſent an whole Boar to him, who lately dyed worth ſo many thouſands, got by ſaving. The young man gives a Porter eighteen pence to bear it thither, big with expectation that the gratuity would be proportionate to ſo fair a preſent; which having preſented with ſuch words as were likely to give it the beſt acceptance, the rich Chuff draws his purſe, and after a long preamble of good counſel, that he ſhould be a provident husband of what was in this kinde beſtow'd upon him, gives him twopence: and as the man was requited, ſo was the Maſter.

On the other hand, 'tis no ſinall prudence to make choice of ſuch, if you are concern'd in an Arbitration wherein matter of money may be in controverſie: for thoſe of a free ſpirit with eaſe part from ſuch ſums as not much, which your cloſe Sirs would ſtrain at like a Camel.

To this purpoſe 'tis very expedient to be skill'd in Phyſiognomy; I mean the art of diſcovering the tempers of perſons by their looks: from whence p. 85no doubt there is a more exact diſcovery to be made, then by any relations or reports whatſoever: and for my own part (I may ſay) I have been in this reſpect the leaſt deceived: For though it be poſſible for men to cover their paſſions, and conceal their croſs diſpoſitions from any betray their words may make of them, till they are ready to act; yet it is not poſſible for them to obliterate thoſe Characters of Nature, whereby 'tis not hard to read them without their leave. And though it ſometimes falls out, that by cuſtom and vice; men are not (ſometimes) what Nature made them; yet that alteration is made by ſuch habits, as leave a ſufficient mark of themſelves behinde, and make the diſcovery rather more eaſie then difficult. The attainment of this Art is not ſo eaſie by any documents whereby you may be inſtructed, as by your own private obſervation, and the comparing of the experiences of mens actions, with the former judgement which you paſſed on their looks; or à poſteriore comparing your apprehenſions of their preſent looks, with what you know of their p. 86paſſed actions; which transfer as a direction to your conceipt on all parallel Phyfiognomies.

Neither will you finde it leſs expedient to diſcover mens preſent thoughts by their preſent looks, then their inclinations by their features: For if he that carped at the form of man, found fault onelyonly in this, that he wanted a window in his heart; Nature hath ſomething clear'd her ſelf in that, for that Vultus eſt indicium quid vultis: diſcovering (do what we can) in ſudden appearances, thoſe ſentiments of our minde, which we would ſhould be for ever conceal'd; and commonly we diſcover them ſo much the more, in being vext that we cannot but diſcover them. To do which, there muſt be a quick application of the eye, to the looks of him whoſe ſentiments you would diſcover, at that very time when you think he is pincht; that you may judge by the face which he makes, whether it wrings him or no. There is alſo much of diſcovery to be made of the reſentments of others by their ſudden ſpeeches, which even from very diſcreet perſons ſometimes p. 87bluſter forth, and are not examined by the Court of guard; and then eſpecially, when paſſions are up, or affections violent. 'Tis therefore the part of a wiſe man, to be a diligent obſerver of every word that paſſes, though with as little obſervation from others as may be, that you do obſerve: For all ſuch ſuſpition begets caution; and in vain is the net laid in the ſight of the bird.

And here on the other hand, 'tis of great uſe to conceal your own reſentments, not to winch when you are toucht to the quick; but to diſſemble your ſenſe, till you have a due opportunity to diſcover it to your advantage. For it very often is, that we ſpoil our affairs by diſcloſing them before they are hatcht; and turning them out into the world (as ripe for execution) which have ſtill need of the ſecundine of further advice and conſideration. For which cauſe, as time is the firſt of all things, ſo is it the principal too; it being almoſt impoſſible to do any thing well, that is not done timely.

Neither is it leſs uſeful, many times, p. 88to cover altogether our apprehenſions, and ſeem to take no notice of thoſe things, which indeed do give us juſt cauſe of regret; eſpecially too, when thoſe we are to deal with, are either too mighty for us, or we expect may be beneficial to us. Upon which account, I remember I have read of Coſmus, that it was not the leaſt thing conducing to the inurement of his infant-dominion, that he had the art of diſſembling the inſults of the Spaniſh pride, and the envie of his ſuſpitious Neighbours. And therefore thoſe forward tongues, or peeviſh tempers, which fling as ſoon as toucht; and make it more to vent their preſent heats, then conſult their future conveniences; Not onelyonly create to themſelves many troubles, but alſo pull off the hair of thoſe opportunities, which otherwiſe in due time might have fairly preſented themſelves.

Yet on the other ſide, there is no greater remora to mens affairs, then that delatory ſlowneſs, which, however the fair gale of opportunity blows, yet love to put off till to morrow; and then ſet out like a Coach and ſix p. 89Horſes, with ſuch tedious preparation, that before all things are ready, the Game's ſtarted to their hand, and they come juſt the day after the fair; when with an irkſom difficulty they are put to't to retreive thoſe things, which but a while ago flew fair before them.

And here you may take notice, that in the uſe of men, 'tis of huge advantage to obſerve the time: for there is not that man to be found, whoſe temper is ſo even, as not to expoſe him ſometimes more waxy for impreſſion, then at other times. And if it were not ſo, the very contingencies that happen, do differently diſpoſe us: For which cauſe we are more inclin'd to be free to others, when a proſperous gale hath breathed upon us; and are ready then to give a crabbed anſwer, when ſome peeviſh occaſion before hath angred us. And the Craſis of men, as it is very divers; ſo are they more or leſs complying, as the preſent predominant humour is accidentally ſedated, or made ſharper. And therefore as cholerick perſons are commonly peeviſh till they have din'd, that p. 90the ſtomack have ſomething in't, to imploy the active humour; ſo are thoſe that are flegmatick, or melancholy, rarely free, or debonair, till their more ponderous and dull ingredients are warm'd and made more active by the adventitious heat, which wine, or ſome ſtrong liquor contributeth; or their ſpirits awakened by ſome ſuch pleaſant company or diſcourſe, as may leave ſome tang behinde it. And therefore choice of time will as much difference the ſucceſs of your applications which you make to perſons, as wind and tide with or againſt, ſhall ſpeed or retard a paſſage.

And for this very cauſe, in ſuch caſes, 'tis not ground enough to give up your hopes as deſperate, becauſe you ſucceeded not at the firſt; for a ſecond or third time may finde the humour better diſpos'd to receive the impreſſions which you intended.

But however, be always adviſed never to reſiſt one humour with the like: For it is excellently advantagious when paſſion is up, to look on, and with a ſedated minde to obſerve the indiſcreet paſſages which then occur, whereby p. 91every perſon lays himſelf open at ſuch a rate, as renders him not a little obnoxious to the retorts of him, that with a compoſed ſpirit takes notice of them. And that this is ſo, is eaſily diſcovered, if you reflect, when you are return'd to your own bent, upon that exorbitance and indiſcretion, which in thoſe wilde fits you flew out into. For which cauſe, to oppoſe paſſion with paſſion, ſeldom produceth other effect then a too-late repentance for both. And 'twill be found abundantly better to put on your Mittens, and handle the paſſionate with as much ſoftneſs as may be. And I have known men of that tune, whom in the fit you'd have thought irrefragable, plan'd by this means to as much ſmoothneſs, as could reaſonably be expected. And whereas if in ſnuff and diſtaſte you may fling away from ſuch re infecta; a little patience and good words may do your buſineſs, and ſend you away with what you come for.

But take this as a general caution, to deal as little as may be with thoſe over topping men, to whom a man p. 92cannot with confidence come and demand his own. Upon which account I'll tell you a publick ſtory, of which you may make a private application. It was diſputed in the days of Queen Mary, in a Parliament then holden, whether if the Queen ſhould have a Childe, the Tutelage of it, and ſome places of ſtrength, ſhould be put in King Philips hand; the King offering his Bond, faithfully to deliver up his truſt, if the Childe ſhould dye. And the greater number of the Houſe inclining to the affirmative, as concluding that ſo great a Kings Bond was an ample ſecurity; the Lord Paget ſtands up, and demands, if the King ſhould refuſe to do as he is bound, upon the death of the Childe, who ſhall put his Bond in ſuit, and where? which demand was ſo difficult to finde an anſwer, that the buſineſs fell without more ado.

And 'tis much one, to have dealings with thoſe, who have ſo great an influence on our affairs, that we muſt be content with what meaſure they'll give us: for to knock off, or conteſt, if we like not our matters, is p. 93the loſs of our friend, and a greater advantage.

Be alſo adviſed in all dealings of importance, to manage them by Letter, and not by Meſſage; which do ſo frequently forget, or miſtake, that your buſineſs is made a quite different matter, then 'twas when you ſent it.

But this ſhould be eſpecially obſerv'd, when ſuch anſwers are given, as you may ſuſpect may prove offenſive; for ſent by the mouth of another, there may be a word put in, which may ſo inflame the ſenſe, as to make that intolerable, which out of your mouth was directed with a paſſable contrivance.

And for the ſame reaſon, 'tis not good to take pet at any ſuch returns as come at ſecond-hand, when you may be deny'd in ſome eaſie requeſt: for I ſometimes have known, when an anſwer hath been brought, enough to divide the moſt intimate friends; which when 'twas inquir'd into, prov'd no more to the minde of the party that ſent it, then George a Green, to the man in the Moon.

And you'll finde it as falſe to judge p. 94by report, when the actions of men come under diſpute: For the miſapprehenſions of men, not ſeldom diſtort and wring that out of joynt to make it moſt monſtrous, when the party that did it was candid in his thoughts. And the prejudice of men adds ſo much to this ſcore, that they will have often a bunch for an horn: and the matter is not much, there, to finde a knot, where 'tis before-hand reſolv'd to finde it or make it. Therefore, as in matters of news, I have always obſerv'd to make ſuch an abatement, as may bear a proportion with the faction of the relater; ſo you'll finde that as needful in the reports made of men; for you may be ſure, that ill-will doth never ſpeak well.

But becauſe I ſpake before of treating by Letter, you muſt be adviſed to be therein very wary, becauſe there is your hand as a witneſs againſt you; ſo that as to matter of weight, which may produce ſuit, 'tis not amiſs to obſerve what is ſaid of Tiberius Caeſar, That ſome of his Letters to the Senate were ex conſulto ambiguae ſuch as he intended ſhould be interpreted, not p. 95according to the plain words, but the concernments of thoſe whom he had to deal with: For ſuch words may be found out, and ſo plac'd, as ſhall amount to a promiſe in the apprehenſion of the Reader, who is conſcious of the matter you treat of, which will not be ſo conſtrued in the judgement of thoſe who may come to take cognizance of the matter in queſtion.

If God ſhall ſo bleſs you, as that you live to ſerve out your time, with ſuch approbation of induſtry and faithfulneſs as ſhall manumit you with a good report; 'twill not be amiſs to have by you ſome general advice concerning your ſetting up, becauſe God knoweth whether I ſhall then be alive to judge of thoſe particular concerns, which may induce or diſſwade it.

What I have therefore here firſt to adviſe you of, is, that you look upon this buſineſs, as that which deſerves much advice. There being not a few, who by their haſte, and precipitation in this affair, have ruined their fortunes; and while they have been weary of being ſervants, have made p. 96themſelves in a ſhort time perpetual ſlaves to indigence and want. For if having once ſet up, you then miſcarry, it proves like the blaſting of a young ſprout, which, if not thereby utterly kill'd, yet becomes ſo checkt and dejected, that it never attains a freſh and flouriſhing condition after. It concerns you therefore to look before you leap, and not to be induc'd by the name of Maſter and a Shop, to skip into that in haſte, from whence you will be ſhortly turn'd out with ſhame.

It hath been obſerv'd, that they ſeldom prove well, who ſet up young; that age being for the moſt part precipitate, and forwarder to do then to conſider, and alſo apt to pre-occupy the ſucceſs of things, by a too promiſing hope; and like young Setters, to ſet an Haunt inſtead of a Covie; whereby they are many times groſly abuſed, and erre at ſuch a rate, as admits of (onelyonly, if any, yet) a difficult recovery. Whereas thoſe that like Bobbed Partridges have been ruſt in the net of deception, by what they have obſerv'd at others charge, are much more wary, p. 97and cautelous of being again trapan'd. Beſides, age doth give a natural allay, like a Bartholomew-dew, cooling the immoderate heat and raſhneſs of younger years.

It is therefore taken notice of, that young men do then proſper beſt, when they have either ſerved as Journey-men unto ſome wary Stagers; or have the happineſs to be taken in as partners unto ſuch. Whereby, as Bears by their grown Cubs, they are taught to catch the prey with the greateſt cleverneſs and certainty, and with the leaſt hazard.

'Tis not amiſs here alſo to admoniſh you, that great Rents have very often broke the back of young beginners; who before they could get acquaintance, and gain cuſtom to defray the charge of ſo great expence, are drain'd dry, to the very vital bloud, and expire like a Candle for want of fat to feed the fire on't. Conſider therefore, that omne principium eſt debile; and 'tis wiſdom to diſpoſe all thy projects in a proportion to that infirmity: For he that arms himſelf beyond his own dimenſions, is incumbred p. 98with his own Furniture, and commonly falls the more ridiculous ſubject of others ſcorne and triumph. Be therefore adviſed to begin warily, having as the firſt, ſo the laſt game to play; and as one jeſted, it being all one, and one all; it concerns you ſo to diſpoſe it, as may admit of the leaſt hazard.

Nor is it leſs good counſel, to begin low, according to the advice of the Country-man, to eat your brown Bread firſt: If there were no other reaſon, at leaſt, becauſe 'tis ſhameful to come lower. And experience tells us, that that Bullock which hath been fed with Hay, will almoſt ſtarve before 'twill be kept with Straw: for though there be nothing more eaſie then to come down, ſo there's nothing more difficult then to bring our mindes to it.

But further, as thoſe Structures which are raiſed higheſt, have always their foundations laid loweſt; ſo you can hardly inſtance in any great eſtate, whoſe beginning was not with ſuch a providence, as conſulted for mean things. And this doubtleſs may be rendred as the principal cauſe, that ſo very few of thoſe prove ſucceſsful, p. 99who have been furniſh'd out into the world plentifully, by their friends: For building thereupon with too much confidence, they ſet out at ſuch a rate, as before they have run far, breaks their wind: whereas they who come forth under-hatcht, conſcious of their own infirmity, ride with a ſtrait hand; and if they are wiſe, put not into a gallop, till their wind be well rackt; and by that means prove of good ſpur-mettle to the laſt.

And now let me tell you, there's no one thing deſerves the care of a young beginner more then his ſervants; who, if they be beaten to the world, and know how to do any thing, they're cunning enough to abuſe and cheat you: Their opportunities too being ſuch as are hard to avoid. Let me therefore in this particular give you ſomething of advice.

1. Be ſure never to truſt any of them that have a colloguing, fawning way: For they are perſons whom nature hath, as it were, cut out for deceit, and not onelyonly fitted with habiliaments, but alſo a natural promptneſs thereto: p. 100and if I may tell you mine own experience, I remember not that I ever had to do with any of them, which proved otherwiſe. And they are generally of that impudence, that like thoſe at Cape Bon Speranz, they'll pick your pocket, and look in your face; pretending always moſt, what they intend leaſt. And therefor there is eſpecial need of your caution in thoſe very things, which they profeſs moſt againſt; they being generally like her, who made the world believe ſhe could endure no Eggs, till it was found that her uſual breakfaſt was a groatsworth.

2. Never make your ſelf over-familiar with your ſervants, nor take them for your play-fellows; for familiarity begets contempt, and contempt breaks the neck of obedience: It being very rare that thoſe ſervants are ready to do, that are not kept in aw; but will be rather diſputing your commands then doing them; which beware that you admit not: It being better in many reſpects, to erre in commanding what is not convenient, then to amend it upon the advice of an ordinary ſervant, p. 101they being incouraged by ſuch a condeſcenſion, to argue with you the expediencie of your commands ever after, and upon that account to uſe ſuch language, as is not to be indured; which to remedy, when got an head, you'll be neceſſitated to uſe ſuch ſharp corroſives, as may againſt your minde, if for your turn, part you and your patient.

3. Never acquaint a ſervant with that ſecret which may be to your prejudice if reveal'd: For when once you ſtand upon their courteſie, they then grow inſolent, and make no bones to retract their ſervice, when they know you dare not exact it. Beſide, how baſe a ſervitude is it to have our noſes held to the Grind-ſtone by thoſe, which we know are bound to obey us? and ſo to ſtand in fear of their diſcovery, that however abus'd, we muſt be mealymouth'd.

4. Expect not to oblige an ordinary ſervant by your kindneſſes. For I could never ſee any of them, but were like thoſe fera animalia, which upon every diſtaſte return to their natural ferity, and forget all bonds of kindneſs p. 102they received from you. Beſides, they have a general comment, whereby they interpret all your favours; which they judge to be the effect, not of your goodneſs, but their own deſert; and conclude, that you are therefore kinde to them, becauſe you cannot be without them; which conception having once imagined, they grow as touchy as Waſps, and upon every ruffle bid you provide your ſelf.

5. Be not in a ſervants debt, if you can make any ſhiſt to come out of it: For they look upon the forbearance of their mony, as ſo great a kindneſs, which if you take not care to requite, they'll take care to do it themſelves; and aſſure your ſelf, 'tis no good Huſbandry in any thing to let them be their own Carvers. And which is worſe, they take occaſion thence to grow refractory, and inſult; which by all expedients ſhould be avoided, in a Country where Laws are ſo little ſevere in this reſpect, and wherein what they are, 'tis dedecorous to uſe them.

6. Let your behaviour to your ſervants be with a general equanimity, p. 103and even temper; not finding fault through the peeviſhneſs of your own humour, but the juſtneſs of their demerit: For no one thing doth more impair authority, and abate a readineſs to amend thoſe things for which they are increpated, then when 'tis obſerv'd, we are of ſuch a temper, as we call in Dock out Nottle: ſometimes ſtumbling at a ſtraw, and another time leaping over a block.

7. Let your ſervants be ſupplyed in all things meet for them, in ſickneſs and in health: For all ſuch things are what they bargain for. And 'tis great iniquity to require ſervice from them, while you give not what you contracted for, to them. And truely in this caſe 'tis better rather to exceed then otherwiſe, if it be done with due providence and caution: For it is naſtily baſe, that the world ſhould ſay, we increaſed our wealth, with what ſhould have been put into our ſevants bellies.

8. Be not inclin'd to an Eveſdropping, and underhand hearkning what your ſervants ſay in their privacies: For it is rare (even though they love you) p. 104but at one time or other you ſhall hear them curſe you. And at ſuch times, I have obſerv'd, they are apt to prattle that which they never mean, and pleaſe themſelves in a way of ſpeaking freely, as the Collier that call'd my Lord Mayor knave, when he was got upon Briſtow-cauſey.

9. Obſerve that due decorum which our Laws require, not to turn away a ſervant without a quarters warning, unleſs in ſuch caſes wherein 'tis perilous to keep them: it being indeed very unjuſt, that thoſe whoſe livelihoods depend upon imployment, ſhould at your pleaſure be expoſed to want, without ſuch foreknowledge, as that they may provide for themſelves. And 'twill alſo condemn you of ſuch raſhneſs, as will not eaſily finde a fair excuſe: All ſuch occurrents too, as they diſaccommodate them, not failing to bring along with them their inconveniences on you.

Laſtly, let your care be, that in all things your ſervants give God his due: for 'tis in vain to expect that they ſhould be juſt to you, when they obſerve that you are careleſs whether they are ſo to God; and will never ſcruple p. 105to abuſe you their Maſter below, when they have liberty given them to offend thine and their Maſter above. And verily in this caſe, the danger's great, where there's a freedome given to do wickedly: For beſides that all righteouſneſs is like a Golden-chain, ſo depending upon one another, that he who makes no conſcience of breaking one, may upon the ſame account break all: 'Tis juſt with God to puniſh one ſin with another, and permit thoſe to deal unrighteouſly with you, whom thou permitteſt to behave themſelves wickedly to him. And moreover, 'tis not to be doubted, but as God bleſſed the houſe of Potiphar for good Joſephs ſake: ſo he hath a proportionableneſs of vengeance to execute upon thoſe families, where his name by any one is much diſhonoured.

But now there is a different manner of acting to be exerciſed towards thoſe, who ſhall be taken by you as Apprentices; for their concerns are much different from thoſe of an ordinary ſervant, you being become to them loco parentis: They giving no ſmall part of their portion for your Education, p. 106and expending no ſmall part of their lives in doing you ſervice; and therefore you are concern'd to own ſuch in a more then ordinary acknowledgement. And as they to that end became your ſervants, that they might in due time become Maſters, ſo are they to be uſed in all reſpects as thoſe ſlips futurae ſpei, which juſtly exact your care and incouragement; and therefore to be managed, not tyrannized over: and ſo to be uſed, that while you drive on by them your own advantages, you remember alſo, that you are bound to promote theirs. And therefore I cannot but congratulate the integrity of thoſe, whom I have heard rejoyce in the proſperity of thoſe who had been their Apprentices. And with as much deteſtation have I abhor'd the unworthineſs of thoſe, who by cunning practices have blaſted the hopeful fortunes of their young ſervants; envying the thriving of ſuch as have eſcaped their hands; grudging that any Water ſhould go by their Mill, to help the Griſt of thoſe, who were ſo many years ſervants to theirs.

p. 107And indeed conſider, how many arguments there are to induce your tenderneſs and care, when the hopes and future joyes of a careful Father ſhall be put into your hands, to ſtand or fall at your diſcretion; who hath (it may be) drain'd himſelf beyond his ability, to furniſh his ſon into your ſervice; and hath been willing to deny himſelf of his preſent conveniences, upon the account of his future hopes; which ſhall either flouriſh, or be blaſted, as your diſcretion and care ſhall be diſpoſed. And verily, as we lament the fall of a Family that hath been undone à poſteriore, and mourn over the ruines of a blown-up Eſtate; ſo I think we may the more juſtly bemoan an anticipated undoing, when that eſtate is nipt in the bud or flower, which if kindly and cautelouſly dealt with, might have grown to that vaſtneſs, that the Birds of the Air might have lodged under the Branches of it.

And truely, who can without laments conſider, how many hopeful Youths come up to that great City, who are miſerably expos'd to ruine, by the neglect of thoſe they are bound p. 108to, who being ſecur'd in their own concerns, by the ſecurity given by friends, leave the young men to run riot at their own wills, and undo themſelves with the opportunities which they put into their hands, while they are jolly at their Country-houſes, and give them rope enough to hang themſelves; whereby the wretched Father is not onelyonly diſappointed of his pregnant hopes which he had conceived, but (poor heart) is involved in a debt which he never feared. Therefore to ſuch as theſe, it behooves you to behave your ſelf with ſuch a prudence, as may conduce not onelyonly to the effecting of your own buſineſs, but alſo the promoting of their concerns.

Your next thoughts (it may be) are concerning a Wife; and 'tis poſſible you may diſpute with your ſelf, whether you ſhall marry or no; wherein to give you advice, were as pertinent as the directions of Almanack-makers, who may tell you, that in March you muſt ſow Seeds; when in that month the weather may prove ſo unkinde, p. 109as that to ſow them in the ground, were all one as to throw them in the Kennel: many circumſtances very much altering the caſe in the expediencie of wiving: Therefore what our Lord ſpeaks in this matter, Matth. 19.12. he ſpeaks foreign, to him that is able to receive it.

'Tis true, the marryed life is charged with many incumbrances; and I think 'tis without diſpute, that the ſingle man (if he can ſo content himſelf) lives much the freer. But yet doubtleſs much may be ſaid on the other ſide: for the trouble of buſineſs hath a kinde of delight in it: And if I may ſpeak mine own experiences, who have had in this kinde as much as moſt men; I may truely ſay, that I never was better Fleas'd, then when I had moſt to do. Buſineſs by its motion adding an heat to the ſpirits, while the unimployed, like ſtanding water, corrupt with their own idleneſs. Seceſs, through our pravity, not affording us ſo much opportunity for Divine Contemplation, as laying … open to the illaqueations of Satanical ſuggeſtion. Wherefore, we read David never in worſe caſe, then p. 110when idle on the roof of his houſe; and doubtleſs there is no good man but thinks him in better tune, when he ſaid of himſelf, that he was perſecuted as a Partridge upon the Mountains. Beſides, there is a natural tendencie, whereby God hath inclin'd all things living to a delightful paintaking in this kinde: whence we ſee the Beaſts of the Field, but eſpecially the Fowls of the Air, denying their own conveniences, and with ſo much affection making proviſion for their many young ones. And if God have not indu'd us with as paſſionate inſtincts, 'tis becauſe we have reaſon to produce in us more powerful effects.

But if we ſhould here fall into a diſcourſe, how much the diſcommodities of the marryed life are compenſated with the conveniences which a good wife brings; we might poſſibly be involv'd beyond our deſigne: For not to ſpeak of that content, which is to be had in reciprocal indearments, where acts of love endeavour to outvy each other, and you are attended upon ſick and well, with that affection, which like Musk and Amber gives p. 111a moſt pleaſing acceptableneſs: what a ſatisfaction is it to have a friend, which as Paul ſaid of Timothy is foreign, and doth naturally care for our affairs? into whoſe boſome we may freely diſcharge our thoughts, and expect ſuch ſecreſie, care, and aſſiſtance, as none elſe have a like inducement to afford.

If therefore ſuch thoughts as theſe ſhall prevail with you, to enter upon the marryed life; yet be advis'd not to engage therein, but with ſuch conſideration as becomes a buſineſs, wherein you muſt know a very great meaſure of the contentment of your future days depends.

And here let me firſt give you a caution againſt that abominable baſeneſs, which trapans innocent women to their utter undoing: When thoſe Citizens (which in truth have nothing) make ſhew of much, and draw in great matches, with that appearance, to the ſhame and miſery of a broken Fortune. Whereby women of good Eſtates, are not onelyonly brought to nothing; but made worſe then nothing, being intangled with the incombrance and p. 112charge of Children, for whoſe maintenance there is no proviſion. And therefore I adjure you, that with a juſt abhorrencie of ſo great and ſuch unchriſtian perfidiouſneſs, if your endeavours ſhould be ſo blaſted (which God forbid) that you muſt ſink, you ſink alone, rather then involve in your calamity the innocence of a Wife and Children, which ſhould be of that dear reſpect to you; and be guilty of that curſed treachery, to leave her without houſe and home, who leſt her Fathers houſe to come to yours.

And for this cauſe, do not marry 'till you finde that you can ſtand on your own Legs; being in ſuch a thriving way, as with the continuance of Gods bleſſing, may afford an handſome ſupply for ſuch expences, as a marryed life brings with it. Being in ſuch a capacity, your thoughts may then be imployed in the care how to chuſe a good Wife; when choſen, how to obtain her; and when had, how with diſcretion to behave your ſelf to her.

As for the firſt, be adviſed to chuſe ſuch for a Wife, whoſe fame is like that p. 113Chriſtal, which hath not ſo much as a ſand-ſpot in't, not onelyonly in reſpect of her own Reputation, but alſo of her Relations: there being a kinde of immortality in a good name, which doth over-live us, and is intail'd by the ſureſt conveyance upon our Poſterities; ſo as that there is no fine and recovery in this caſe allow'd; no time wearing out this blemiſh, nor merit ſufficient to waſh it off. Therefore it ſhould be your care, that this may run in the pureſt channel, where no ſoyl nor mud may defile it; but that you may receive it, as uncontaminated from others, as it ought to be your care ſo to tranſmit it unto yours. And if thoſe who breed horſes, have an eſpicial caution to prevent (even thoſe onelyonly ocular) blemiſhes which may be traduced to the Foles; it concerns us doubtleſs much more, to be wary of bringing that into our Families which may ſtick as a blemiſh into following Generations.

And upon this account, ſuch choice is to be eſchewed, as may bring an hereditary deformity or diſeaſe: For what an unkind ſight is it to ſee a mans p. 114houſe ſtockt with crook-backs, when the Gibbous Children ſhall repreſent the diſtorted crook-ſhoulder of their Mother, and carry always about them the publick teſtimony of your indiſcretion? For though ſome emolument might preſent its ſelf, which might induce you to make ſuch an one your bed-fellow; yet ſurely nothing ſhould prevail to take her for a breeder, and leave your name running in the winding-Chanel of a crooked deformity. The like may be adviſed concerning Hereditary diſeaſes, when the King evil, or ſuchlike which the Mother hath, may run in the bloud of her off-ſpring; and you may ſee that fleſh rotting before its time, which you expected would have been ſome ſupport to your memory, when you ſhould be dead and gone.

And truely upon this ſcore of our Poſterity, it is very expedient to make choice of an handſome venter: For that we ſee, that comely Mothers have, for the moſt part, as comely Children; and as rare is it, that thoſe who are not, have other Children then ſuch as are like themſelves. And though p. 115beauty be of its ſelf, an object fitted for our affection, being a perfection not apprehended but by a rational Creature; yet doubtleſs it is for this reaſon even prudentially eligible, becauſe a beautiful Mother gives hopes of a fair breed; and Daughters that are handſome, are either put off with leſs portions, or to better Fortunes. And ſuch men are not a little advantaged in finding that ſuit facile, wherein their own comelyneſs hath been their ſpokeſman.

Let your next care, which I ſhould have made the firſt, be her Religion; whereby I underſtand not onelyonly the profeſſion of the truth, but ſuch a Principle infus'd from above, as doth diſpoſe to an holy and circumſpect converſation: For as not one of theſe leaſt advantages of the marryed life, is mutual ſociety; ſo doubtleſs there can be no ſuch communion, as where God himſelf makes up the third party. And the fellowſhip is not onelyonly that of affection, whereby as Jonathan and David they become one ſoul; but that alſo, whereby they become oneſpirit, and p. 116are mutual helpers of one anothers faith and joy.

And beſides too, there is from this Principle ſo much of inducement, not onelyonly to bear with ſuch things, and act upon ſuch accounts, as will not be done upon any other ſcore; but alſo to avoid ſuch temptations, as morality would ſtoop to; and to ſay as Joſeph, How ſhall I do this great wickedneſs, and ſin againſt God!

Her diſpoſition alſo doth require your eſpecial care, being a matter not a little conducing to your peace and comfort: For ſome perſons are of that uneven temper, that they are not one whole day friends with themſelves; and therefore when they are in the frets, will finde a Gall in a Dove, and take occaſion to quarrel at a Ball-ruſh, not becauſe it hath ſome knots in it, but becauſe it hath none; and have enough to charge upon your ſcore of what they want, if not of what they ſhould have, to be ſure of what they would have. Whereas there are others again, that nature hath allaid with an unwillingneſs to quarrel, and can hardly tell how far their patience p. 117can be extended; but if provokt beyond that bent, they'll tear like thunder; and are as ſoon return'd again to as clear a Sunſhine, as gives no remembrance that it was fowl weather. And this ſurely is not an inconvenient temper: For whereas thoſe that are ſheepiſh, can very difficultly preſerve themſelves from being weather-born; and thoſe that are waſpiſh, are, as Solomon ſaith, a continual dropping; and the poutiſh are like a charnel-houſe, where ſorrowful and glum ſilence make a ſolemn mourning: Theſe, like a ſmart April-ſhower, rain to make the earth look greener, and uſe frowns and tharp words, as Kings do Souldiers and hounds, onelyonly when they are neceſſary, and in ſeaſon: Then onelyonly appearing to be angry, when they lye under a neceſſity of vindicating their concerns from neglect, or themſelves from contempt.

And under this title of diſpoſition, we may alſo bring in her frugal inclination, which is not the leaſt of the feminine vertues: for all that Sex is much for outward ornament, becauſe conſcious there's not much within: p. 118Wherein every thing is valued not by the decet, ſo much as the conſtitit; and all is thought mean, that doth not exceed: and for you to interpoſe to moderate the expence, would be an argument of either want of affection, or a generous ſpirit. Such an one therefore whoſe natural compoſure is an allay to that extravagance, is like Mother of Pearl, which breeds its own treaſures, being very fine, and fed to as much content, with the third of that coſt, which muſt be laid out upon the ſoft back, and dainty tooth of another. And let me tell you, there is much in the education of young women, when they have been bred up frugally, and not nurtured in that ſenſuality, which imploys all thoughts, rather how to pleaſe the appetite, then appeaſe hunger; and how to be vain and gallant, then decent and comely. And let me alſo tell you, there is much in the natural neatneſs of ſome women, who are cut out, as it were, to make a fair ſhew with a little, and will appear very neat and handſome in that which is but ordinary, and evince their Gentility by their gate and behaviour. Whereas, ſome p. 119others are like a Sow with a Saddle, on whom whatſoever coſt you beſtow, they ſhall never look otherwiſe, then like Gold in Ore, which may be rich, but is unpolliſhed; their bravery hanging on, as if ſhak'd there with a fork, and they in their rich apparel look as like Gentlewomen, as a Clown in a Buff-coat and Bandeleers, doth like a Souldier. And therefore on ſuch as theſe, your expence muſt be laviſh, and coſt extream: For they know that what they wear is onelyonly handſome, becauſe rich; and that they are as careful in preſerving, as they are neat in wearing, ſhewing no more courteſie to a Sattin-gown, then ſome would do to a Ruſſet-coat; ſlattering out that in a few months, which would have done another credit, it may be, as many years.

What is next to be thought for, is a portion, wherein as your care ſhould be wary and provident; ſo ſhould it be alſo gentile and noble: not on the one hand to take in a charge without what to maintain it; nor on the other hand, to bargain for a wiſe, as if you were higling for an Horſe in Smithfield: p. 120For as prudence would teach to conſult by a good portion, for ſuch a charge as all Wives bring with them; ſo the nature of ſuch a tranſaction ſhould induce us to behave our ſelves in it, with ſuch a nobleneſs as becomes it.

And in the matter of wiving, things being for the moſt part carryed on by affection, ſo in this reſpect are we chiefly concern'd to make uſe of our diſcretion: For a fair Wife without a Portion, is like a brave Houſe without Furniture, where a man may pleaſe himſelf with the proſpect, but there is nothing within to keep him warm: and a Wife with a good portion, but with conditions unſuitable, is like the fat land in the Wilde, where there may be wealth, but in truth little pleaſure beſides. Therefore let a good face perſwade you to call, good conditions to alight and enter, and a good portion put you to bed: For where wealth onelyonly is, there will be a cold affection; and where affection onelyonly is, there will be a cold content: For as he obſerv'd, ſine Cerere & Baccho, friget Venus; ſo will content look pale, and love p. 121wax feeble, where there is not an Eſtate to keep them plump and fair.

'Tis true indeed, to marry an unendowed Wife is more diſpenſable, where there is ſuch an Eſtate as doth not need a portion: For in ſuch a caſe your love hath a greater proof, and may be ſuppos'd to lay a greater obligation; and poſſibly you may expect a ſubmiſſion to your will more, and a greater compliance to your deſires. Though I muſt tell you that many in that reſpect have found themſelves miſtaken; no perſons being more exorbitant in their exceſſes, then thoſe which brought the leaſt with them. And as thoſe are commonly the proudeſt when preferr'd, who before were the meaneſt; ſo thoſe wives are generally the coſtlyeſt, who put leaſt into the bag to maintain it. But in truth, this whole affair depends ſo much upon the good temper and prudence of the Wife, that no other Argument; or conſideration will anſwer your deſires, if they be wanting.

But be advis'd; however unendowed the woman be, let not her kindred be neceſſitous; I mean falling from what p. 122they had: For in confidence of your relation, they will not fail to hang upon you: and in caſe that you think it much, you'll be judged unkinde and churliſh; and the wife for their ſupply, muſt either prove unnatural to them, or elſe be tempted to become leſs faithful to you.

But if it be your purpoſe to raiſe your Fortunes by a Wife; 'tis the firſt advice to look high enough, becauſe 'tis poſſible ſuch an application may prove; and if it do not, the diſcredit is the leſs, to be diſappointed in an arduous attempt. And however, the probability is the greater; for he that hews at a well-ſpread Oak, though his ſtrength may fail to get it down, yet is more likely to be ſupply'd, then he that onelyonly aim'd at ſome ſimple Ha….

It is beſt too, to fix upon ſome growing Fortune; ſuch a perſon whoſe Relations by proſpering in their way, make a fair addition to the preſent portion; for all that comes in on free coſt: and though not to be truſted in, as no dead mens Shooes are; yet if it comes, it p. 123doth well; and ſo much the better, becauſe not lookt for.

And the ſame reaſon ſhould induce to marry ſuch as are akin to Land; I mean, that have not many Heirs to ſtand between them and an Inheritance: For money is a diſpoſable commodity, and in the paſſage doth eaſily ſtick to the hands of thoſe who have the power to tranſmit it. But Land is an apparent viſible Eſtate, which the Law hath ſo provided for, that it cannot be diverted, or conceal'd. And therefore is found ſometimes running in thoſe chanels, which lay off, in a great unlikelyhood, in reſpect of the firſt Fountains; as I could particularly give inſtance in a perſon well known to me, into whoſe hands an Eſtate fell in leſs then twenty years, between whom and it, there were ſix and twenty perſons who intervened.

And here alſo may regard be had, to ſuch Relations whoſe good word and countenance may be an help and furtherance to you in your way: For it is an old ſaying, A friend at Court, is as good as a pound in a mans purſe: and there is a kinde of Smock-Simony, p. 124which may be more lawful and more gainful then that of the Black-coat; when a man may be Son-in-law, or kinſman to the next good place that falls, or at leaſt may be handed in to ſuch a convenience, as where one may converſe with gain, or by experience and counſel may be fairly put on; or by the reflection of the Sun which ſhines on ſuch a friend, may be made more lightſome and perſpicuous to the view of thoſe, which we have a minde ſhould ſee us.

Having thus fixt upon your choice, the next conſideration is how to obtain her: Wherein 'tis of principal uſe, to diſcover the higheſt affection: for as there is no perſon ſo unlovely, but thinks her ſelf worſhy to be loved; ſo is there a natural inclination in love …o beget love, and (unleſs in ſome particular exceptions) ſeldom fails of procuring, if not ſo much kindneſs, at leaſt ſo much commiſeration, as gives an aptitude to condeſcenſion.

Eſpecially too, if love be recommended with ſuch becoming importunity, as well admits of no denial; when p. 125Rhetorick is not ſtrained by a bumbaſte expreſſion; but ſuch words are found out, as ſeem to be onelyonly dictated by affection, wherein the heart hath the greateſt, and wit no other ſhare, then to give them a lovely pronunciation.

Wherein ſuch conſtancie muſt be obſerv'd, as may give the greateſt evidence of your affection: for women being ſenſible that this is that wherein their ſtrength lyeth, and that they are never likely ſo to domineer, as now, when your hopes are dead or alive as they ſmile or frown; they take pleaſure to Tantalize you, and ſhew their own preheminence; and do by you, as thoſe Chirurgions, who though they intend to make a cure at laſt, yet to ſerve their own turns, keep you long in hand, and intermit their lenitive emplaiſters, with thoſe which may corrode and vex you. And in truth, women never ſo well revenge themſelves on men, as when they ſend them ſneaking away, diſappointed in their expectations: and that which is the miſchief on't, the buſineſs is not acted in a corner, but the world muſt be a publick p. 126witneſs of the defeat; when in the midſt of all your gallantry, you are routed Horſe and Foot, and triumphed over by ſuch an enemy, as gives no other reaſon why ſhe will not, but becauſe ſhe will not.

And therefore in ſuch caſes, they muſt be dealt with, as Stalkers do with bobbed Partridges, give them time till they may be brought about again: for their own inconſtancie will not let them be long in the ſame minde, but that Weather-cock which ſtands to the cold North to day, you my finde (perhaps) to the warm South to morrow.

And here obſerve alſo, that there is not a little Rhetorick in gifts; of which Solomon ſaith, That they blinde the eyes of the wiſe: Wherein 'tis diſcretion to make choice of ſuch, as may be not ſo much coſtly as pertinent; ſuch as are likely to gain her acceptance, by fitting her humour, rather then by drayning your purſe; and ſuch too, as may moſt and longeſt be expos'd to view, and be the opportuneſt Orators in your behalf. And for this cauſe your coſtly treats muſt be of rarer uſe, which are almoſt forgotten as ſoon as the taſte p. 127is off the Palate; and are then onelyonly uſeful, when by their jollity they may allay an auſterer temper, or you are in hopes that by a more publick condeſcenſion, there may be a ſtop given to any purpoſes of retracting: Otherwiſe doubtleſs privacie affords the beſt woing; and they will then comply moſt, when they may hide their bluſhes in your boſome.

But if you fail of your expectation, and your ſuit want ſucceſs; let it be your care to come fairly off, by no means indeavouring to abate your diſgrace in the diſappointment, by caſting any blemiſh upon the perſon you have made ſervice to: For as I always abhorred that love, which becauſe it could not ſpeed, was converted into hate; ſo have I thought their come-off no leſs unworthy, who to qualifie the blemiſh of their being denyed, have made no bones to throw dirt in their faces, where before in their officiouſneſs they would have kiſs'd their breeches. It is therefore doubtleſs more noble to let the world ſee, that you had integrity in your intentions, and were rather unfortunate then baſe; miſtaken p. 128rather in the thoughts of your own worth, which is common to men, then in the conceptions of her worthineſs; and being ſtill deſirous to keep thoſe as friends, whom you cannot obtain as neerer relations: For verily methinks 'tis very unjuſt, not to proſecute thoſe ever with all common courteſies, to whom one ever preſented any conjugal pretenſions.

But if you be ſo ſucceſsful as to obtain, be remembred 'tis now the time to be conſiderately joyful, and to obſerve the golden mean of moderated freeneſs: not to laſh out into ſuch extravagance, as may render you ſuſpected to the ſober; nor guilty of any ſuch poorneſs, as may juſtly ſubject you to the cenſure of the wiſer: For as the day of our eſpouſals, ſhould be the day of the gladneſs of our hearts; ſo is it great folly to let the ſtream then overflow its banks at ſuch a rate, as that the Chanel ſhould be the ſhallower for it ever after. For though I am no enemy to Nuptial Feaſts, yet I have thought them no leſs then mad, which to fit others with Wedding-Gloves, have brought themſelves in p. 129a few years to want working-day Shooes; running ſo far in debt, to make that one day joyous and paunch-gutted, as hath made all the reſt of their days mournful and pinch-bellyed. Whilſt others therefore wiſh you joy, know the foundation of it muſt be in your ſelves; and that is likely to be moſt, which ſo begins, as that it may hold out, and taketh care that the Garments of the following years may be made (at leaſt) by the pattern of the Wedding Clothes.

Being now ſafely moared in the happy harbour of a well-diſpoſed wife, let it be your firſt care to promote her Piety; which I do not ſpeak of as 'tis thy duty, but as expedient to advance your content and well-fare: For as doubtleſs 'tis no mean policie to be good; God either giving ſuch his bleſſing in the things of this life, or recompencing the want of theſe with the things of a better: So is Religion not the leaſt of thoſe means, whereby all ſocieties are preſerved in their particular intereſt, being call'd Religio (as ſome will) à religando, binding our mindes p. 130in the conſcience of ſuch duties, wherein no other conſideration would prevail with us.

And upon the ſame ſcore, 'tis great prudence to preſerve in the freſheſt greenneſs, that conjugal affection, which if it did not at firſt bring you together, yet doubtleſs ſhould be of prime deſigne in this condition; Love being like that Salt and Sugar which doth ſeaſon, and make acceptable thoſe occurrents, which without it would bite upon the Tongue, and beget diſguſts moſt indiſpenſible. And verily thoſe Husbands are Fools, who think to have the ſubjection of their Wives, not by the exerciſes of affection, but the aſſerting their own authorities: For whatever is compell'd, waits for an opportunity to be deny'd; and they that rule over the unwilling, finde the trouble as great to keep in obedience, as the pleaſure to be obey'd. All compulſory being a violent motion, which upon every ceſſation of the vis motiva, returns again to its natural bent; when as that which is from a principle within, moves regularly, and is commonly moſt active in oppoſition. For which p. 131cauſe we read that Love is as ſtrong as Death, and many Waters cannot quench Love; it being that active affection which makes us willing to do, willing to ſuffer, willing to give, and willing to forgive: for Love covers a multitude of ſins, not onelyonly by overlooking them, and allowing the faireſt interpretation to all that will admit it; but by being ready to condone what might be done amiſs, and accepting of any acknowledgement for ſatisfaction: Thus ſodering by a ſpeedy compoſure thoſe caſual breaches, which diſaffection ſtill makes wider; ſo that what was at firſt but accidentally offenſive, by after-exaggeration proves to be the cauſe of a final ſeparation. And therefore without doubt there ſhould be the greateſt caution to preſerve this affection like the Apple of the Eye, which no mote may offend; and to compoſe thoſe ſtrifes with the greateſt ſpeed, which may give an allay to a mutual kindeneſs: for doubtleſs they are inexcuſable, who upon occaſional diſcontents affect a ſullenneſs, & think to give a weight to their anger by the continuance; whereas in very deed, all that p. 132time the Heart frets; and Love, if it do not lye a bleeding, yet grows faint, for want of the exerciſe of kindeneſs; and will not be long ere it fall into a conſumption, if ſuch occurrents be but as frequent, as they are pernicious. And ſurely in this caſe 'tis vain to ſtrain ceremony, and expect who ſhall comply firſt: for we will not ſay who is the ſtouteſt; but of this we are ſure, they that comply firſt, they are the wiſeſt.

And here obſerve too, that 'tis greatly expedient (if ſuch diſputes happen) to avoid all ſuch language as hath any bitterneſs in it: For all ſuch ſinks deep into the minde, and is hardly obliterated with any after-excuſe, giving cauſe to ſuſpect that it was the iſſue of a feſtered heart, and that a precipitate paſſion did not produce it, but diſcover it: ſo that what might eaſily be compos'd, as to the matter of the offence, proves almoſt remedileſs, as to the words.

And with this, you may take notice, that nothing is more miſchievous then ſuch an expreſſion, as may profeſs a diſaffection: For aſſure your ſelf, there's p. 133much of wiſdom, even there to make ſemblance of the higheſt love, where 'tis but indifferent; and to behave your ſelf with all ſuch expreſſions of kindeneſs, as may give no cauſe to ſuſpect that you love not: For if once they are perſwaded of that, they take you for an enemy, and make it their buſineſs to plot againſt you, and lay contrivances to advance their own intereſt with whatſoever hazard of yours. And if once it come to that paſs, you may bid farewel to your peace and content while you live together: For the joynt intereſt between the man and the Wife is the great ſoder of their affairs, that which doth cement their deſignes, and concenter their purpoſes. For as it was ſaid that they twain ſhall be one fleſh; ſo is it intended therewith, that their intereſt (twofold before) ſhould become one, that with a joynt endeavour they may drive on the good of both; which therefore ſhould be tendred with as great a caution, as that Rin'd which cauſes the Graft and Stock coaleſcere, and thrive together.

p. 134For which cauſe, I ever thought it no prudence for man and wife to have two purſes. The Bed and the Purſe being two things, wherein a mutual ſharing breeds kindneſs and confidence; and they are ſeldom double, where there is not diviſion. For, as without doubt there is all the reaſon, that ſhe who joyn'd hey Stock to yours, and put in her Portion, ſhould enjoy ſo much of her own, as to pleaſe her ſelf in that to which ſhe hath a particular liking: So is it beſt, that ſhe do that out of the common Purſe; wherein 'tis like ſhe'll uſe greater prudence and moderation, then where ſhe is her own carver without inſpection. And as on the one hand, a private purſe doth incline to a private deſigne, and tends to promote an intereſt that is too particularly their own: So on the other hand, where they are kept ſhort, and depriv'd of that freedom to command your purſe in a meaſure that is convenient, they repine at their reſtraint, and either wiſh in their hearts that you were removed, or apply themſelves to ſuch ſhifts as are baſe and degenerous; ſupplying their deſires by ſuch unhandſome p. 135means, as many times prove not onelyonly dedecorous to them, but pernicious to you: For while you refuſe to ſupply their expences on the ſcore of your kindneſs, they are induc'd to ſeek for thoſe that will; and think it juſt to make repayment in that coyn, which whether you will or no, they muſt have in their own keeping.

And for this cauſe, it is greatly expedient to be as accommodated (as prudence will allow) to the humour of the wife, ſo as may be moſt to her content. For there is none of them which marry with an intent to be ſlaves, but promiſe to themſelves that pleaſure and convenience in your Society, which they conceive themſelves uncapable to enjoy without you; which if they want from you, their own wit induceth them to ſeek elſewhere. Whence it is, that I have known ſome who came to the Bride-houſe with the greateſt affection, promiſing to themſelves as much content in an Husband as their love and good opinion had rais'd their expectations up to; but after, being diſappointed in their experience, and finding the Tavern and p. 136company ſharing ſo deep in what they lookt for, they grew deſperately diſcontent; and thinking it equal to requite their neglect with the like, they ſoon found out thoſe who would attend upon them with that courtſhip and complacence which their grumbals would not. And verily who could think the thing unreaſonable? for while friends on both ſides did lament the miſhap, they could not but acknowledge that the thing was juſt: For by our nature, home is animal politicum, and eſpecially the woman, whoſe very creation was for ſociety, and with the deſigne that man might not be alone; and therefore above all things, they hate Anachoriſm, and can with no patience indure to be mew'd up till midnight, while you, it may be, are clubbing it at a Tavern: and you cannot think it a wonder, if at ſuch a time they ſport with your ſervants at home, when you are abroad; which you may judge done not for knavery, but meer divertiſement.

And further, do but conſider how long that love is like to laſt, where the blundring Husband comes home like p. 137a ſous'd Hogs-head, with a ſteam of ſmoke and drink would almoſt choak a Greenlander, who hath been fed with blubber: Imagine now how acceptable ſuch a Porpiſe muſt needs be to the neatneſs and curioſity of a well-bred woman, who cannot but loath a ſpectacle of that deformity; and cannot but contemn that ridiculous poll, which blatters forth any thing that comes next, to the juſt provocation of a more ſtayed and temperate judgment; ſo that what ſhould deſerve their love and reſpect, becomes the loathed object of their contempt and ſcorn.

And that which is the miſchief on't too, to ſee the codled fool take upon him in that tune, and exerciſe his Husbandly authority, like a Mayor of Queenborow, and with as much diſcretion: when the diſcreet woman ſees her head nodding out his commands, with leſs wit then a Gander on a Green; which ſhe does, and laughs at, grieving in her heart that providence hath joyn'd her, where an Horſe and an Aſs muſt draw together: And then you may bid farewel, not onelyonly to p. 138that love which you might have had, but alſo that authority you ſhould have: for never think that that woman ſubmitteth willingly, to whom her Husband behaves not himſelf like a man of underſtanding.

And by this you may perceive how much the diſcretion of the man conduceth to the marring or making of the Wife. For of how many hopeful women doth daily experience give us an account, whom their Husbands folly hath miſerably undone, while they have cared rather to be ſerviceable to their own preſent humours, then their future content; or have thought it better to deal in hacking and hewing, then in a gentle bending thoſe plyant Oſiers, which might eaſily have been wrought, as prudence would have had them?

And I believe you will finde with an eaſie obſervation, that wives generally are eaſier drawn then driven; and that there are very few, even of the beſt of them, which will fairly bear to be ſowrely told of thoſe things, which yet they are willing to mend. And therefore all ſuch plaiſters muſt be p. 139ſoftly applyed; and a warineſs had, not to finde fault in the hearing of others, which may beget a diſtaſt in thoſe things, where no unkindneſs would be taken upon a private rebuke. And in very deed, the reputation of a Wife in this point of her ſufficiencie, ſhould be tendred by us as a choice concern, eſpecially among thoſe over whom ſhe exerciſeth any thing of command: For you will ſoon finde a very ſmall matter will give thoſe occaſion to deſpiſe her authority, who by your conviction ſhall be judg'd worthy of blame. And truely 'tis hard to vindicate young Wives from the contempt of their Servants; who will much more readily deride their petty indiſcretions, then obey their reaſonable commands; eſpecially when the new maid is an old play-follow, and is almoſt to learn the difference between ſport and obedience; or is ſome ſtanch Trout that hath been ſo beaten to the world, as hath put her, though not out of the need, yet out of the conceit of being commanded. And therefore to aſſert the Wives authority the more, 'tis beſt that ſhe rule the roaſt altogether p. 140in the houſe; and if you interpoſe, it ſhould be rather by way of advice and aſſiſtance, then ſuperiority. And in very deed they are pittiful ſouls, which can't let the women alone with their Pipkins and Pies, but are peeping to finde fault in the feminine juriſdiction; and eſteem it one of their eminent virtues, that they are very frugal in Dripping and Kitchinſtuff.

But the truth is, there's a great deal of reaſon that the Wife ſhould always be born with, as the infirmer; there being many occaſions not onelyonly to diſturb their diſcretion, but alſo to perturb their paſſion; the craſis of their bodies being more humid, and ſubject to that Planet which is moſt mutable. Beſides the many infirmities which Child-bearing bringeth; the obſtructions, fumes, and opilations which befal their more delicate conſtitutions: upon all which it is meet, we ſhould give honour to the wife, as the weaker veſſel; not contending with them, becauſe we are more robuſt, but bearing with them becauſe we are ſo.

Yet in all ſuch things wherein you p. 141comply with the deſires of the Wife, 'tis much the beſt to act in it freely: For if they muſt watch to take you in the humour, or work it out of you by their own art, they congratulate their own skill, and acknowledge no kindeneſs; ſo you loſe the thanks, and lay no obligation: whereas the main deſigne ſhould be to ingage affection by kindneſſes flowing, and not ſtrain'd; and even there, where neceſſity denyes, the refuſal ſhould be ſo convey'd, as that ſhe may perceive 'twas ſo, becauſe it could not be, not becauſe you would not that it ſhould be.

If providence ſo diſpoſe of you, as that you marry a Wife that brings Children with her by another Husband, as your concerns are more, ſo ought the exerciſes of your prudence too: And the rather, becauſe there lyes on you that general ſuſpition, which all Father-in-laws labour under. And therefore to prevent that, 'tis good to walk by that general rule, To do by them in all things, as if they were your own. And verily this (not onelyonly a conſcience of your duty ſhould induce you p. 142to) being plac'd by providence in the room of a Father; but alſo a dread, leſt ſuch a ſucceſſor ſhould be given you, who may retaliate on yours the unkindneſs or injuſtice you have exerciſed to them. And doubtleſs, if ill-gotten goods bring ſuch a canker with them, as ſoon eats out the eſtates they come to; there's none devours with a greater greedineſs, then that of the Orphans and Widows money; God having taken that title upon him, that he is the God of the fatherleſs and widow, to let the world know, that he hath a peculiar Guardianſhip of the concernments of ſuch, and will himſelf revenge their injuries, though their impotence make them more liable to ſuffer, and leſs able to vindicate their ſufferings. And withal, your care ſhould be as ſtudious for their education, that being not the leaſt wherein we ſhew our paternal kindeneſs to thoſe that are ours. And if the Fowls of the Air leave not their youngs ones, till they have ſhew'd them the way to get their own livings; it ſhould be your chief endeavour to do that buſineſs for them, which death prevented their own Father in, that he p. 143could not do. Neither think much that the Mothers kindneſs ſeems moſt to theſe: for there's reaſon that ſhe ſhould compenſate the Fathers loſs with a more abundant tenderneſs, and expreſs that a double-portioned affection, which before ran in a duplicated, now but in a ſingle chanel.

Now ſuppoſing you to be in the way of Houſe-keeping, let me give you ſome of my experiments for your direction: and the firſt ſhall be a caution to avoid thoſe Hangers on, that are the flies which attend the fleſh of others Tables, and requite you with their maggots; ſuch as your chare-women, and men at a call, who make it their work to rob you under a finer notion then that of plain ſtealing; or at beſt, like thoſe beggers who give you an half-farthing wand, that they may receive your twopence. Such as theſe ſhall your ſervants have to ſerve their turn with a wet-finger; and pay them largely, not with their own money, but your meat: which if you connive at, they praiſe you highly, and you are their very good Maſter; and when p. 144they have undone you, ſhall do you this kindeneſs, to ſay 'tis pitty, for you were no bodies foe but your own.

Yet think not much to be free in the relief of thoſe you know to be poor, and labour with induſtry to get their own livings: For Alms to the idle, is like greaſe to a Cart-wheel, which makes it go round the eaſier, but ſtill upon the ſame axle; whereas ſupply to thoſe who are wanting, yet laborious, or impotently neceſſitous, is a debt due to their want; yet of that nature, that while we pay what is their due, God accepts it as a loan, and hath put himſelf under an obligation to make repayment. And truely I have obſerved, that while I have known many undo themſelves with riotous Houſe-keeping, entertaining needleſs gueſts, and idle-bellies; I could never yet meet with any, who could ſay he he was the poorer, nay, not the richer, for ſuch acts of charity, as were done to the needy: But that ſuch diſtributions, like the loaves of our Saviour among the 4000, leave behinde them more baskets of fragments, for the heirs p. 145to give away, then the principal was in quantity, which the Father ſo expended.

Yet let me tell you, 'tis no wiſdom to make your ſervants your Almoners, and allow them the liberty of diſpoſing your Charity; for one hand to give, is enough in a purſe. And that Charity is the beſt, which hath the ſpirit of diſcerning; and like that Boy, gives Hony to the Bees, but hath a whip to drive away the drones.

Be here adviſed too, not to be given to the humour of coſtly entertainments: For I have often ſeen that men of that fancie, have inverted the Calendar, and have found their Faſts after their Feſtivals; who when they have ſpent all, have been as welcome to their gueſts, as a former Wives old Cloathes to a new-marryed Bride. Beſides, the obligation which you lay by your coſt on thoſe which are entertained, is for the moſt part as far below it, as the Church of St. Faiths is beneath Pauls Steeple. For the moſt at ſuch encounters, are more concern'd to cenſure your expence, then acknowledge your kindneſs; and generally jeer at ſome p. 146things you might fail in, rather then fairly accept what you courteouſly intended.

But the entertaiment of great perſons is a greater vanity: For ſuch think they oblige you, in doing you the honour to eat up your Cheer; which to them who fare ſumptuouſly every day, is ſcarce lookt upon as extraordinary; ſo that inſtead of accepting your civility, they reſent it as an affront that it was no richer; and what ſhall be indeed profuſion in you, will be lookt upon but as the Wrens piſſing in the Sea to them.

But what I have here ſaid of entertainment, I intend not of ſuch as are accidentally gueſts, perſons that come to viſit in kindeneſs: for unto ſuch as theſe, entertainment is due, and ought to be free, and proportioned to the quality of the perſons concerned, with that heartineſs and plenty, as may abundantly ſpeak for you, that they are welcome: and in very deed, ſuch intercourſes as theſe, are neceſſary to preſerve a mutual friendſhip, and keep alive the remembrance of that kindred and relation, which otherwiſe, p. 147like unremoved Logs, would grow into that earth, which at firſt begat them.

But what houſe ſoever you keep when friends are with you, let your ordinary and private fare be never coſtly; but ſuch, as though the beſt in its kinde, yet plain and wholeſome, to fortifie Nature, and nouriſh, not to tickle the Palate: for to pleaſe the dainty tooth, is an expenſive humour, and doubles that charge which Houſe-keeping bringeth; while the ſauce is more then the Meat; and 'tis as dear to cook a Diſh, as to provide it. And verily the vanity of ſome deſerves our wonder, who are of that Heliogabalian ſtomack, to which nothing doth reliſh which is not dear, and fancie fiſh moſt when fartheſt from ſhoar; then onelyonly loving Peaſe, when they are ſearce to be had; and Cherries, when they are ty'd on ſticks.

In buying proviſions, be your own Caterer; wherein at leaſt you may have this convenience, that you may pleaſe your ſelt. Beſide, however faithful your ſervant may be, ſo that he lets down no g…ats without a ſtrain; you p. 148cannot expect that he ſhould part with your coyn, with that care and difficulty as you would your ſelf, whoſe daily feeling how much proviſion doth pinch, makes wary, and hard to be drawn to expence.

But be chiefly advis'd not to run on the ſcore; for you may be aſſured, that with greater advantage you may take up money at uſe to pay ready down: For there's none of them all, but reckon how they forbear, and will be ſure to be allow'd, not onelyonly becauſe they muſt ſtay for their money, but truſt; there being nothing ſo certain in this world, as that which is preſent. You will alſo finde that a true Proverb, That the beſt is beſt cheap: For beſides that in fleſh, there's much the leſs quantity of bones for the weight, where they are covered almoſt twice of the thickneſs; in all other things you'll finde much the leſs waſte, becauſe that which is good goes down without ſcraps, while parings and refuſe go a great way in what is not. Servants making no ſcruple to caſt that to the Dogs, which they are ſoon apt to think is not good enough to themſelves.

p. 149Be you alſo aſſur'd, that the beſt of Servants muſt be over-lookt: for it is rare to finde thoſe, who will not make waſte: and as it is fit they ſhould have to the full, their meat being a great part of the wages of their work; ſo are there few, but do labour under fulneſs of bread; and none that conſider of what they would be glad, when they come to keep a poor houſe of their own.

In your buying Proviſions, you'll finde it the beſt to go to their Fountains: for the farther from thence, ſo much the dearer. There being no ſecond-hand but ſo licks his own fingers, as that while he hath his gains, the Commodity is inhanc'd; and that which is his livelihood, muſt be what you give more then he paid.

'Tis alſo beſt to buy by the great: All Chapmen complying much ſooner for much then for a little; their gains by ſo much being the more conſiderable, and their put-off the greater. But then muſt your expenditor be wary, and ſo give out the ſtore which you have provided, as remembring the place to ſpare, is never at the bottom. p. 150Beſide the much more eaſineſs to lurch the greater quantities, where a little taken is not diſcerned: for which cauſe, it is not ſafe to truſt a Servant at an whole heap; there being very few of that integrity, as then to keep their hands from picking, when none can witneſs they did prevaricate; or if they be ſuch, it is not ſafe to tempt with opportunity.

If God ſhall give you Children, it is the duty which each Mother to her off-ſpring owes, to be its Nurſe, as well as Bearer; and therefore not to be neglected, but then onelyonly when neceſſity makes the excuſe: but if you put them abroad, chuſe out a Nurſe by theſe directions; whereof I have had ſo good experience, that in the placing out of fourteen of you, I never yet had cauſe to remove one, till it was time that you ſhould be brought home.

1. Let her be a lively woman; thoſe ſtiring ſpirits not onelyonly having fewer dregs to make their milk unwholeſome, but their cheerfulneſs exhilarates the Babe, and gives it a more pleaſurable life and motion too; while p. 151ſuch whoſe mettle can't abide to ſit, muſt dance the childe about, or give it ſome ſuch agitation and divertiſement; when lumpiſh women let it hang in arms, till it be almoſt cripled for want of change.

2. Then let her be healthy complexioned, of ſuch freſh ruddineſs, as gives account ſhe's not infirm: But chiefly care that ſhe have no hereditary miſchief, ſuch as may be ſuckt in by yours unto its detriment, may be remedileſs.

3. Let her be ſuch a woman too as is much given to be cleanly; ſo great conducement unto health, depending upon neatneſs in us all: But eſpecially in ſuch little ones, whom Nature hath not moulded to perfection; but that 'tis purging out a more abundant excrement: For which cauſe, we may daily ſee the very Brutes officious in this kinde of care.

4. Then be ſhe ſuch an one as lives not by the penny, but hath a Cow or two at leaſt, or ſuch ſupplies as may prevent the pinching of the belly through want: For where the purſe p. 152muſt bleed for every pint of Milk the Childe muſt eat, 'twill be not much improbable it many times may go without. Whence 'tis obſerv'd, that meant is much leſs free in all ſuch houſes (howſoever rich) where all comes in by daily purchaſe, then at the Farmers, from whoſe Barns and Stores there come ſupplies, for which no preſent money was expended.

Be careful too, the Husband be not given unto drink: for at ſome time or other, he'll come home in ſuch a tune, as may indanger much the little weakling. And if in ſuch diſturbances they many times do miſchief to themſelves, 'tis not but to be feared a greater miſchief may accrue to ſuch a little one as cannot help its ſelf.

And it is beſt there be agreement 'twixt the man and wife: for none can tell what hair-brain'd tricks there may be done, when they are in a rage; or how the Childe may ſuffer then, when they can ſcarcely be diſtinguiſhed from thoſe are mad: For ſuch conteſts which happen between men and wives, are moſtly managed in ſo much heat, p. 153as frequently produce ſuch actions as we then repent of, when we cannot help.

If thus you are provided, be not then too haſty in the fetching of it home: at two years end is ſoon enough; and that's confirm'd by my experience in not a few, all kept abroad till they could run about the houſe alone.

But when they are brought home, be not a means to ſpoil your hopes with too much fondneſs. The leſs the Childe is loll'd in Arms, the better. And by ſo much the food of it be good & plainer, by ſo much healthier you ſhall have it: For all ſweet things do cloy the Stomack; and dyet multiplyed in variety, doth poſe concoction to digeſt it, which better deals with ſimple food; from whence much eaſier, and more ſurely, it doth contract a firmer nourithment. And though Phyſicians generally decry the uſe of Milk, as too too Phleginatick, and not convenient; yet doth mine own experience as much aſſert it; there being ten of you, who I believe may vye with ſuch a number of p. 154any one mans in the world beſide, for health, ſtrength and ſtraitneſs, who have been all true Trojans at a Milkbowl.

And ſurely it is beſt, not to ſtint Children in their food; ſo that ſuppers be light, and not too neer to bedward: For thoſe that are, are generally made more greedy by denyal; and if they light on opportunity, will gorge themſelves into a ſurfeit; when they that uſually feed while they will, know when they have enough; and make not much then to give out, when as their fare is of the daintieſtieſt.

'Tis alſo beſt to break your Children of their wills, e'en with the ſooneſt; and bring them to that paſs, to know your will, not theirs, muſt be their Law: For 'tis a plague that's moſt intolerable, to pleaſe them in their humours; and as pernicious to themſelves, there being ſometimes a neceſſity their mindes ſhould not be followed, which then they fret and ſume at to their hurt; when as, when once they're taught but to ſubmit, and kept to that, they forthwith leave off to diſpute, and readily comply with that, which not p. 155their fancie, but your judgement ſhall think fit; and without blubbering, and ſtir, and cryes, give up themſelves to a ſilent obedience: which is moſt eaſily effected by ſuch a conſtant tenor of behaviour, as is not in and out, but they made certain what to truſt to.

Be alſo here advis'd, not to torment your Children with the curioſity of Apparel, when they (to keep their cloaths neat) muſt be reſtrained from exerciſe, as neceſſary for their health, as is their meat. Nature having ſo diſpos'd the inclination of young things, that they are game ſome all in ſuch a meaſure, that the more ſlothful creatures are very lively in then youths; and the young Calves and Lambs do skip and play, while their more ſober dams look gravely on: And 'tis becauſe there are more moſt and cruder h…nours ordained to afford a freer nouriſhment for ſupply of growth, that ſtand in need of a diſcuſſion, and digeſtion more abundant. And veray …fe's none of us, though much in lined to deny our ſelves to ſerve our pride, but think it a reſtraint, vexatious enough, p. 156to be confin'd to touch not, raſte not, handle not. And 'tis well worth the laughter, when the mimick Dame is trickt as neat as hands can make her, to ſee with what a caution ſhe's aware, leſt ought ſhould touch her that defiles; and is in need of a glaſs cover, where bravery may well be ſeen, and yet ſecur'd. Then what vexation is it for a childe that's full of life, and fond of play, to be kept in without a motion, leſt it ſhould foul its apron, or put a knot or curl out of its proper ſcituation!

When they're grown big enough to ſend to School, 'tis beſt to place them out at board: for Children when put out to board, are taught be times to make their party good with others; and learn ſome meaſure in that art, to overſee their own concerns, which they have ſo much need of in the world. For in a kinde of little Commonwealth they learn thoſe ſubtilties in ſmaller Volumes, which afterward doth help their practice in their weightier affairs; when thoſe more elderly trapan the younger, till they abus'd, grow wiſer, and learn more wit by their experience, p. 157which they ſoon exerciſe upon the reſt. And ſurely I have ſeen ſo much of craft among theſe young ones, to bring to paſs their projects, and cunning warineſs to ſhun and diſappoint an oppoſite contrivement; that I have thought it could not be, that any Cat ſhould mouſe ſo well, as that thus practis'd in all taking arts, when but a kitling.

Beſides the great advantage of their mutual deriſion, when 'tis a ſhame to do thoſe things which are unhandſome, which they'll not fail to vex the faulty with; by which means I have known ſome ſoon reclaim'd, when ſober counſel, yea too, and correction was without effect.

Nor is the help which they afford each other in their learning leſs conſiderable; when thoſe leſs knowing may conſult the wiſer, and have a ſatisfaction more accommodate unto their underſtanding, then by inſtruction that is ſupereminent.

They are too, under ſuch a conſtant Diſcipline, ſo over-lookt, and ſixt to mulde the main deſigne, and ſet beſide occaſions of diverſion; that without p. 158doubt, if God do give wherewith to bear the charge, there's no expedient like this for their Education; provided that you uſe the greateſt caution, both for their manners, and their learning: For great are the impreſſions that exa…pre gives in that to waxy age, which generally is prone to cloſe with that which in its conſequences is pernicious.

For which cauſe I've obſerved many tincted with ſuch looſer habits, as have undone their Fathers hopes, and proſtituted them to ſuch a dirſolution, was irrecoverable. Beſides too, the loſs of time, when plac'd with thoſe whoſe faculties afford not, or negligence indeavours not that he ſhould be improv'd, is of that ſort which hardly can admit of a redemption; when ſeaſons of inſtruction are knockt out by following caſts, which are more fit to kiſs the miſtreſs of their preſent age.

'Tis therefore beſt to place them where they may be in a conſtant courſe of pions government, with ſuch who are not factiouſly Religious, but rather for the practice of it then the prattle, p. 159and for the power of it then the ſhew: For you muſt know, an high concernment is depending here, and the eternal intereſt of a ſoul. Good Education having ſuch an influence on the future life, that God takes Abrahams ſeed as members of his Covenant, becauſe he knew their nurture would be pions, that he would teach his children, and his houſhold after him. And truely this might be perſwaſive, not onelyonly with the ſober-minded, but with thoſe too, lets piouſly affected: For there are few ſent out from Schools, where a prof…er Genius hath been predominant, which have not proved very diſſolute; as might be inſtane'd in, in many hundreds, … convenient.

Therefore let the Maſter be of that unblameableneſs, as may give greateſt confidence no ill example may be given: For if the beſt of us are more inclin'd to follow thoſe that lead us by practiſe, then by precept; ſurely thoſe tender years, (leſs capable to judge the verity of what is ſaid, and have their will conducted by their underſtanding) may well be tincted with that p. 160dye they ſee their leaders coloured with.

Let him be alſo not a Linguiſt onelyonly, a perſon skill'd in, and able to teach the Tongues; but alſo one that hath a lively fan…ie, and expreſſive: for little is it for to ſpeak, if not to ſpeak to purpoſe, or with ſuch taking efficacie as may lead captive the affections: and truely matter moſt important, if not laid down with ſuch array of words and elegancie as becomes it, doth ſeldom take even wiſer judgements, unleſs in the immediate exerciſe of a ſevere diſcretion, and odds as much, as beauty cloath'd in rags, and ſet out in its rich attire. And ſuch a witty Genius thus inſtill'd into thoſe greener heads when firſt inform'd, is like a daſh of Musk and Amber, which gathers ſtrength by atter-uſe, and gives an excellent perfume unto thoſe things, which otherwiſe would prove but mean.

And let him have an art to mould the Tongue unto a graceful Elocution, and ſuch a way of Speech as runs like Oyl, and ſmoothly ſtroaks the Ear unto an itch would ſtill be farther ſcratcht; p. 161For what advantage is't, when tender Tongues are timely ſet in tune! which makes the ſelf-ſame matter differ from its ſelf, as much as Bowbel chimes do from the clanging of a Kettle.

Let him be too of a Gentile and generous demean, a perſon ſet beyond the ſtate of a meer Scholar, whom Learning hath no farther favour'd then the head; but one that fetcheth thence a fair accompliſhment for all concerns; when like to woaded Cloth, he takes all other dyes with greater luſtre and more eaſe: One that may ſet impreſſions on their youth of all gentiler qualities, and give them ſuch a taſt of noble-mindedneſs, as may beget in them a value of their reputations; and takes them off from what's unhandſome, with giving them a ſenſe that it's below them. Which way to deal with youth, is as far beyond the courſe of that ſeverity which onelyonly practiſeth with them as with ſlaves, fit for no other nurture then of blows, as is a principle of inward life, above that motion which is onelyonly violent: For when as the one ceaſeth with the force, and is no longer then the fear p. 162indures; the other (when once habited) will bear them company unto their Graves; and when they're men, reſtrain their thoughts from what is vile, and be a ſpur to ſuch deſignes as may prove noble and heroick. And who can think it is a mean to breed up liberal Children and ingenuous, to cow their ſpirits, and depreſs them to ſuch a dirty ſervileneſs, as knows no ſpur, but that of ſmart, and acts all duty ſtill in the Bridewel of ſevere correction? And Government, which ſhould have following obedience drawn after it by ſence of benefit and kindeneſs, is like to tyranny with hang and draw, driving before it thoſe, who onelyonly do, becauſe they muſt; being beaten out of love with what they ſhould delight in, by being beaten. When the proud Poedagogue ſtruts in his ſtate, his Lads like quaking puddings all about him; and thinks that Boy will prove a Rebel, which looks not with as much abjectedneſs, as Venus when trapan'd by Vulcan. And don't you think that Youths when thus brought to their poſtures, to ſtand like Vagabonds faſt at a Whipping-poſt; or at the beſt, like ſneaking p. 163Taylors, are in a mighty forwardneſs to act their parts on the Worlds Stage, and be brought forth to ſuch preheminence, as by their birth and wealth they may have hopes of!

And verily it is of great importance, that he who hath the government of youth, ſhould be a perſon of a great diſcretion; as being (not onelyonly to bend their irregularities by the rectitude and ſtraitneſs of unerring principles, & give fixation to the fluctuating of their wilde and looſer thoughts by ſuch a Diſcipline as keeps them ſtill intent to all the documents and exerciſes of vertue) but alſo to over-ſee the manners of ſo many, and with all vigilancie to prevent the pullulating of thoſe roots of bitterneſs their hearts are full of: To deal in bending every ſlip, accordingly as it can bear it: To have diſcerning of their different affections, and move them all, by ſuch expedients as are accommodated moſt unto their ſeveral inclinations: To moderate in all their differences, and give ſuch judgement as may eaſily evince his equanimity unto them all. How great his prudence ſhould be, and his moderation, p. 164that ſhall be judge without Law, of what ſhall be done amiſs, making what he pleaſe an offence, and puniſhing that offence as he pleaſe. What judgement to diſcern the difference of tempers, and chuſe out that diverſity of application, which is to be diſpens'd as is moſt ſuitable to each particular Genius; withal the condeſcention too, to the infirmities of youth, and the allowance muſt be made unto thoſe brains which are but griſtles, and difficultly apprehend what conceiv'd is as plain as is a Pike-ſtaff, there being nothing-hard to thoſe that do already know it.

But verily you'll find no choicer requiſite, then that his ſpirit be elate and generous, and ſuch as naturally ſcorns to ſtoop to thoſe things that are unhandſome, though no eye be conſcious: For great are opportunities which do occur to thoſe that have the Tutorage of Youth, to over-bear them for their own advantage, and to compenſate that wherein they looſe, by freedom from thoſe puniſhments, which like the Papal Pargatory they carry in their keeping. Beſide the manifold temptations to pinch them in their dyet, which p. 165no expedient can prevent in the degenerous and ſordid-ſpirited: and no man wiſely can commit the ſuſtenance of his, which ſhould be free, and of the largeſt, to ſupply the growth of younger years, unto ſuch baſe and avaritious tempers, as think there's nothing vile which doth bring gain.

When placed thus abroad, be careful that you don't divert their ſtudies, nor interrupt their ſtrict attendance by avocations home, at any time which is not general: for all ſuch callings off, don't onelyonly intermit the buſineſs they're imploy'd in, and looſe that time which might be profitably ſpent; but they go retrograde, and looſe thoſe things which they had got: Their Memories, like leakie Casks, ſoon letting out thoſe rudiments which were with greateſt difficulty there inſtil'd. And which is worſe, they're thereby taken off and made leſs apt for thoſe impreſſions which Learning gives, while love of idleneſs and play is more habituate, and they diſturb'd in application of their thoughts, by the remembrance of that pleaſure which they had at home.

p. 166But though you keep them thus abroad, yet let them ſtill be furniſhed with ſuch ſupplies of money as you may conceive are ſuitable to ſuch expence as Children uſe: for thereby they'll be well inſtructed in that warineſs and caution, which is required in all bargain-making, and in that petty trading that's among themſelves, and loſs, it may be of to them ſome precious pence, they learn the art to deal in greater matters, and ſhun decoys which might draw in to things of diſadvantage.

But when at home, or when abroad, be careful ever to exact an abſolute obedience, to have your will obſerved as a law; for by that means you'll much facilitate your government of them, and make by cuſtom much more tractable all their deſignes to you; which may be done with as much eaſe as love, provided that the courſe be conſtant, whence Youth like Naggs which are well pac'd, will take pleaſure and delight in't.

When now they're fit to put into the World, be careful that, and now, you p. 167do diſpoſe them; for there's no loſs ſo great, as not to be put in a Way; nor can there be a greater miſchiet done us, then not to be bred up to ſome convenient imployment; nay though provided for with a moſt large ſubſiſtence: For doubtleſs there's not one whom God deſignes to be an idle drone, when we read Adam, though in Paradiſe, was ſet to fill the Ground; nor any that was made onelyonly for ſport and recreation. And verily, a viler race we hardly know, then thoſe among us, whoſe paſtime is their onelyonly buſineſs, and their conſults how they may ſpend their time and their eſtates, in Riot, Cards and Dice; and rack their labouring Tenants, to ſupply their prodigal exceſſes: Contemning thoſe as pittiful Mechanicks, who by ſome uſeful art conduce to Commonwealth, while they themſelves are without any Myſterie, and onelyonly know ſuch arts as make them vile. Therefore if God ſhall ſo far bleſs you, as that you have an ample patrimony to bequeath to yours; yet bring them up in ſome ſuch way, wherein they may be uſeful unto common good, and able to promote their p. 168own concerns: For there's no reaſon that's more evident (except Gods curſe upon ill-gotten goods) why ſuch Eſtates which Fathers in the City get, are quickly run out by their Heirs, then that they're bred up, not to get, but ſpend. Beſide the common penury of thoſe (even in their large revenues) who have no means to add to, but do ſpend their yearly income, whereby their wants of money greater are, then thoſe who by ſome gainful Trade provide for their own maintenance. Hence do we daily ſee thoſe Gentlemen out-vy'd, who onelyonly live upon their means, though of ſome hundreds by the year, by ſuch mean Trades, which by a wary and induſtrious management, afford a fairer and more free ſubſiſtence, and have a ready caſh ſupply'd by daily gettings; when thoſe with empty pockets long for the rent-day, with an anxious expectance. And which is worſe, their Children, which have been bred up to bear a ſhare in ſport and prodigal profuſion, are at the end turn'd off without any portions ſuitable to the quality they have been bred in; whereby p. 169they become pittiful Paraſites, to lick their fingers at elder Brothers Tables; or if they have more ſpirit, ſeek their Fortunes by ſuch expedients, as do conclude them in untimely ends.

But be advis'd of two things, in the diſpoſing of your Children into the World.

1. Weaken not your Eſtate ſo far for their proviſion, as that it grow faint, and not able to hold out for your own handſome ſubſiſtence: For though the ſtock ſhould be free for the ſupply of the Branches; yet ſo, as that there may be to keep its ſelf lively. I my ſelf knew a perſon of good worth, the gray Hairs of whoſe Eſtate lookt thin for lack of moiſture, which was too freely expended upon his numerous off-ſpring; and I have often griev'd at the ſight of his retrenchments, to ſee his Chanel brought ſo low, as unable to bear a weighty Veſſel, meerly to afford a larger current for his derivations.

p. 1702. So order your matters, that your Children may ever know, that the branches bear not the root, but the root them; and ſo reſerve your Eſtate in your own hands, as to command their obedience by their future expectances. For as 'tis retrograde, that the River ſhould go back to feed the Fountain, and Children treaſure up for their Parents; ſo is it rare to finde out that affection, which ſhall aſcend to ſuch a proportion as it deſcended. And the vaſt experience which the World affords of perſons whoſe indulgence hath undone them, and laid them proſtrate unto their contempts, whom (had they ſtill reſerved what to beſtow) they might have found as ſervient to their nods; may well induce the warieſt caution here, and make you wiſe ſtill to retain the power, as to command the ſpitting in your Parlour while you live.

And now you are ſuppos'd to be in the laſt paſſage of your life, like p. 171ripened Corn in ſuch a tendencie, as gives back to the Earth that bare it. And here be not concern'd in ſuch contrivancie, as may deſigne a pompous Funeral; for coſt expenſively laid out on that, will very little turn unto account; and don't agree with ſuch reflects as ſhould be made by us upon our Graves. It more concerns us to take care to make us friends of the unrighteous Mammon, and be ſuch Stewards of thoſe things with which the heavenly providence hath intruſted us, as beſt agrees with thoſe deſignes, for which he hath profeſt that he doth give them to us. And though there be no merit in Alms-deeds, as Popiſh Doctrine would perſwade us; yet to do good, and to communicate, are ſuch ſacrifices wherewith God is well pleaſed. And there is much in that Speech of the Angel to Cornelius, Thy prayers and alms-deeds are come up in remembrance before God; being there rendred as the reaſon why Peter with the Goſpel is ſent unto him, beſides the many promiſes made of repayment p. 172of what ſhall be ſo laid out; ſo that it is not to be doubted, but the beſt uſe that we can make of our goods, is, that they be imployed in the relief of the neceſſitous; and that the beſt way to treaſure up, is ſo to ſpend. If therefore God ſhall bleſs your ſubſtance with increaſe, remember that there is always this intereſt due to him; and while you take care to provide for your own Family, let not Gods Houſhold (the poor) be unprovided for: which will be an expedient ſo to take your leave of this the preſent world, as that your exit may be with a plaudite. And ten times better 'twill be for you to have the poor to follow your dead corpſe, with their acknowledgements of your Charity and Almsdeeds, then to have the Town-talk of you, that you left thouſands behinde you in your Coffers. And verily, that is an unthrifty providence, that with a many bags deſignes to make a purchaſe of the Town-talk, which for the moſt part proves to be ſiniſtrous, when much more happily we may be carryed hence, perfum'd with that acceptable p. 173remembrance which our perſpicuous vertues leave behind us; and if we may call this ambition, there's certainly no better can befal us.