Six Sermons, Sermon 5
SERMON III. OF THE Education of Children.
PROV. XXII. 6.
Train up a child in the way he ſhould go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
I Proceed to the next general Head which I propoſed, namely,
III. To diſcover ſome of the more remarkable and common Miſcar…i…ges in the management of this W…k. I do not hereby mean groſs neglects for want of care, but miſtakes and miſcarriages for want of prudence and skill, even when there is no want of care and diligence in Parents and Inſtructers. And I ſhall for Method's ſake reduce the more conſiderable and common Miſcarriages to theſe three Heads.
Firſt, In matter of Inſtruction.
Secondly, In matter of Example.
Thirdly, In matter of Reproof and Correction.
I. In matter of Inſtruction. Parents do very often mainly miſcarry in not teaching their Children the true difference between Good and Evil, and the degrees of them: As when we teach them any thing is a Sin that really is not, or that any thing is not a Sin which in truth is ſo: Or when we teach them to lay more ſtreſs and weight upon things than they will bear; making that which perhaps is only covenient to be in the higheſt degree neceſſary, or that which it may be is only inconvenient, or may be an occaſion of Scandal to ſome weak Chriſtians, to be a Sin in its own nature damnable.
Parents do likewiſe lay too great a weight upon things, when they are as diligent to inſtruct them in leſſer things, and as ſtrict in enjoining them, and as ſevere in puniſhing the commiſſion or neglect of them, according as they eſteem them good or evil, as if they were the weightier things of the Law and matters of the greateſt moment in Religion.
Thus I have known very careful and well-meaning Parents that have with great ſeverity reſtrained their Children in the wearing of their hair: Nay I can remember ſince the wearing of it below their Ears was looked upon as a Sin of the firſt magnitude; and when Miniſters generally, whatever their Text was, did in every Sermon either find or make an occaſion with great ſeverity to reprove the great Sin of long hair; and if they ſaw any one in the Congregation guilty in that kind, they would point him out particularly, and let fly at him with great zeal.
I have likewiſe known ſome Parents that have ſtrictly forbidden their Children the uſe of ſome ſorts of Recreations and Games under the notion of heinous Sins, upon a miſtake that becauſe there was in them a mixture of Fortune and Skill they were therefore unlawful; a Reaſon which I think hath no weight and force in it, tho I do not deny but human Laws may for very prudent reaſons either reſtrain or forbid the uſe of theſe Games, becauſe of the boundleſs expence both of Money and Time which is many times occaſioned by them.
I have known others, nay perhaps the ſame Perſons, that would not only allow but even encourage their Children to deſpiſe the very Service of God under ſome Forms, which according to their ſeveral apprehenſions they eſteemed to be Superſtitious or Factious. But this I have ever thought to be a thing of moſt dangerous conſequence, and have often obſerved it to end either in the neglect or contempt of all Religion.
And how many Parents teach their Children dou…tful Opinions, and lay great ſtreſs upon them as if they were ſaving or damning Points; and hereby ſet ſuch an edge and keenneſs upon them for or againſt ſome indifferent modes and circumſtances of God's Worſhip as if the very Being of a Church and the Eſſence of Religion were concerned in them?
Theſe certainly are great Miſtakes, and many times have very pernicious effects, thus to confound things which are of ſo wide and vaſt a difference as good and evil, lawful and unlawful, indifferent and neceſſary. For when Children come to be Men, and to have a freer and larger view of the World, and ſhall find by the contrary practice of very wiſe and ſerious Perſons that they have quite different apprehenſions of theſe matters, and do not think that to be a Sin which their Parents have ſo ſtrictly forbidden them under that notion, and many times puniſhed them more ſeverely for the doing of it than if they had told a Lye, this may make them apt to queſtion whether any thing be a Sin: And the violence which they offer to their Conſciences, and the ſtrein that they give them upon ſuch an occaſion, by complying wi…h the general practice of others contrary to the Principles of their Education, doth many times open a gap for great and real Sins.
Beſides, that Children which are bred up in high Prejudices for or againſt indifferent Opinions or Practices in Religion, do uſually when they are grown up prove to be Men of narrow and contracted Spirits, peeviſh and froward and uncharitable, and many times great Bigots and Zealots either in the way of Superſtition or Faction, according to the Principles which have been inſtill'd into them to byaſs them either way: And very hardly do they ever quit themſelves ſo clearly of their Prejudices, as to become wiſe and peaceable and ſubſtantial Chriſtians.
In ſhort, if we carefully obſerve it, we ſhall find that when Children have been thus indiſcreetly educated, their Religion differs as much from that of ſober and judicious Chriſtians, as the Civil behaviour and converſation of thoſe who have been unskilfully and conceitedly taught how to carry themſelves, does from the behaviour of thoſe who have had a more free and generous Education.
II. In matter of Example. There are many Parents whoſe Lives are Exemplary in the main, who yet ſeem to uſe too great a freedom before their Children. It is an old Rule, and I think … very good one,
Maxima debetur pueris reverentia,
There is a very great reverence due to Children. There are many things which are not Sins, and therefore may lawfully be …one, which yet it may not be prudent and expedient to do before all perſons. There are ſome words and actions ſo trivial and light, that they are not fit to be ſaid or done before thoſe for whom we have a reverence. There is a certain freedom of Converſation which is only proper among Equals in Age and Quality, which if we uſe before our Superiors and Betters, we ſeem to contemn them; if before our Inferiors, they will go nigh to contemn us.
It ought to be conſider'd, that Children do not underſtand the exact limits of good and evil, ſo that if in our words or actions we go to the utmoſt bounds of that which is lawful, we ſhall be in danger of ſhewing them the way to that which is unlawful. Children are not wont to be careful of their ſteps, and therefore we will not venture them to play about a Precipice, or near a dangerous Place, where yet Men that will take care may go ſafely enough. And therefore Parents ſhould be very careful to keep their Children from the Confines of Evil, and at as great a diſtance from it as they can. And to this end their words and actions ſhould ever be temper'd with gravity and circumſpection, that Children may not ſee or hear any thing which may acquaint them with the approaches to Sin, or carry them to the Borders of Vice; leſt they ſhould not ſtop juſt there, but take a ſtep further than you intended they ſhould go.
III. In matter of Reproof and C…rrection; many Religious and careful Parents are guilty of two great Miſcarriages in this Part of Education.
Firſt, Of too much rigor and ſeverity; which, eſpecially with ſome ſort of Tem…ers, hath very ill ſucceſs. The firſt experiment that ſhould be made upon Children ſhould be to allure them to their Duty, and by reaſonable inducements to gain them to the love of Goodneſs; by Praiſe and Rew…rd, and ſometimes by Shame and Diſgnace: And if this will do, there will be no occaſion to proceed to Severity; eſpecially not to great Severities, which are very unſuitable to Human Nature. A mix…ure of prudent and ſeaſonable Reproof o… Correction when there is occaſion for it, may do very well; but Whips are not h… Cords of a Man: Human Nature may be driven by them, but it muſt be led by ſweeter and gentler ways.
Speuſippus cauſed the Pictures of Joy and Gladneſs to be ſet round about his School, to ſignify that the buſineſs of Education ought to be rendred as pleaſant as may be: And indeed Children ſtand in need of all the enticements and encouragements to Learning and Goodneſs. Metus haud diuturni Magiſter officij, ſays Tully; Fear alone will not teach a man his Duty and hold him to it for any long time: For when that is removed, Nature will break looſe and do like it ſelf: Beſides, that frequent Corrections make Puniſhments to loſe their Awe and force, and are apt to ſpoil the Diſpoſition of Children and to harden them againſt Shame; and after a while they will deſpiſe Correction, when they find they can endure it.
Great Severities do often work an effect quite contrary to that which was intended: And many times thoſe who were bred up in a very ſevere School, hate Learning ever after for the ſake of the cruelty that was uſed to force it upon them: And ſo likewiſe an endeavour to bring Children to Piety and Goodneſs by unreaſonable ſtrictneſs and rigor does often beget in them a laſting diſguſt and Prejudice againſt Religion, and teacheth them, as Eraſmus ſays, virtutem ſimul odiſſe & nôſſe, to bate Virtue at the ſame time that they teach them to know it: For by this means Virtue is repreſented to the minds of Children under a great diſadvantage, and good and …vil are brought too near together: So that whenever they think of Religion and Virtue, they remember the Severity which was wont to accompany the Inſtructions about it; and the natural hatred which men have for Puniſhment is by this means derived upon Religion it ſelf. And indeed how can it be expected that Children ſhould love their Duty, when they never hear of it but with a handful of Rods ſhak'd over them?
I inſiſt upon this the more, becauſe I do not remember to have obſerved more notorious Inſtances of great miſcarriage, than in the Children of very ſtrict and ſevere Parents. Of which I can give no other account but this, that Nature when it is thus overcharged recoils the more terribly: It hath ſomething in it like the Spring of an Engine, which being forcibly preſs'd does upon the firſt liberty return back with ſo much the greater violence: In like manner the vicious diſpoſitions of Children, when reſtrain'd merely by the ſeverity of Parents, do break forth ſtrangely aſſoon as ever they get looſe and from under their Diſcipline.
Secondly, Another Miſcarriage in this matter is, when Reproof and Correction are accompanied and managed with Paſſion. This is to betray one Fault, and perhaps a greater, in the puniſhment of another. Beſides, that this makes Reproof and Correction to look like Revenge and Hatred, which uſually does not perſuade and reform but provoke and exaſperate. And this probably may be one reaſon of the Apoſtle's admonition, Parents provoke not your Children unto wrath, becauſe that is never likely to have any good effect. Correction is a kind of Phyſick, which ought never to be adminiſtred in Paſſion, but upon counſel and good advice.
And that Paſſion is incident to Parents upon this occaſion, the Apoſtle tells us when he ſays, that the Parents of our fleſh chaſten us for their pleaſure, Heb. 10. 12. that is, they do it many times to gratify their Paſſion; but God chaſtens us for our profit, not in Anger but with a deſign to do us good: And can we have a better Patern than our heavenly Father to imitate?
A Father is as it were a Prince and a Judge in his Family: There he gives Laws, and inflicts Cenſures and Puniſhments upon Offenders. But how miſbecoming a thing would it be to ſee a Judge paſs Sentence upon a man in Choler? It is the ſame thing to ſee a Father in the heat and fury of his Paſſion correct his Child. If a Father could but ſee himſ…lf in this Mood, and how ill his Paſſion becomes him, inſtead of being Angry with his Child he would be out of Patience with himſelf. I proceed to the next thing I propoſed, namely,
IV. To make out the truth of the Propoſition contained in the Text, by ſhewing how the good Education of Children comes to be of ſo great advantage and to have ſo good and laſting an influence upon their whole Lives.
I confeſs there are ſome wild and ſavage Natures, monſtrous and prodigious Tempers, hard as the Rocks, and barren as the Sand upon the Sea-ſhore; which diſcover ſtrong and early propenſions to vice, and a violent antipathy to Goodneſs. Such Tempers are next to deſperate, but yet they are not utterly intractable to the Grace of God and the Religious Care of Parents.
I hope ſuch Tempers as theſe are very rare, though God is pleaſed they ſhould ſometimes appear in the World, as inſtances of the great corruption and degeneracy of Human Nature, and of the great need of D…vine Grace. But ſurely there is no Temper that is abſolutely and irrecoverably prejudiced againſt that which is good. This would be ſo terrible an Objection againſt the Providence of God as would be very hard to be anſwered. God be thanked, moſt Tempers are tractable to good Education, and there is very great p…obability of the good ſucce…s of it, if it be carefully and wiſely managed.
And for the Confirmation of this Truth I ſhall inſtance in two very great Advantages of a Religious and vir…uous Education of Children.
1ſt. It gives Religion and Virtue the advantage of the firſt Poſſeſſion.
2dly. The Advantage of Habit and Cuſtom.
Firſt, Good Education gives Religion and Virtue the Advantage of the firſt Poſſeſſion. The Mind of Man is an active Principle, and will be employed about ſomething or other. It cannot ſtand idle, and will therefore take up with that which firſt offers it ſelf. So ſoon as Reaſon puts forth it ſelf, and the Underſtanding begins to be exerciſed, the Mind of man diſcovers a natural thirſt after knowledge, and greedily drinks in that which comes firſt. If it have not the Waters of Life and the pure ſtreams of Goodneſs to allay that thirſt, it will ſeek to quench it in the filthy Puddles and impure Pleaſures of this World.
Now ſince Children will be buſying their Minds about ſomething, it is good that they ſhould be entertained with the beſt things, and with the beſt Notions and Principles of which their Underſtanding and Age are capable. It is a happy thing to be Principled, and, as I may ſay, Prejudiced the better way, and that Religion ſhould get the firſt poſſeſſion of their Hearts. For it is certainly a great Advantage to Religion to be planted in a tender and freſh Soil. And if Parents be careleſs and neglect this advantage, the Enemy will be ſure to ſow his Tares whilſt the Husbandman is aſleep.
Therefore we ſhould prevent the Devil by giving God and Goodneſs an early poſſeſſion of our Children, and by letting Him into their Hearts betimes. Poſſeſſion is a great Point, and it is of mighty conſequence to have Nature planted with good Seeds before vicious inclinations ſpring up and grow into ſtrength and Habit.
I know that there is a ſpiteful Proverb currant in the World, and the Devil hath taken care to ſpread it to the diſcouragement of an early Piety, A young Saint and an old Devil; but notwithſtanding this, a young Saint is moſt likely to prove an old one. Sol… mon to be ſure was of this mind, and I make no doubt but he made as wiſe and true Proverbs as any body hath done ſince: Him only excepted who was a much greater and wiſer Man than Solomon.
Secondly, Good Education gives likewiſe the Advantage of Habit and Cuſtom; and Cuſtom is of mighty force. It is, as Pliny in one of his Epiſtles ſays of it, efficaciſſimus omnium rerum Magiſter, the moſt powerful and effectual Maſter in every kind. It is an acquired and a ſort of Second Nature, and next to Nature it ſelf a principle of greateſt power. Cuſtom bears a huge ſway in all Human actions. Men love thoſe things and do them with eaſe to which they have been long inured and accuſtomed. And on the contrary men go againſt Cuſtom with great regret and uneaſineſs.
And among all others, that Cuſtom is moſt ſtrong which is begun in Childhood: And we ſee in Experience the ſtrange power of Education in forming perſons to Religion and Virtue. Now Education is nothing but certain Cuſtoms planted in Childhood, and which have taken deep Root whilſt Nature was tender.
We ſee likewiſe in common experience how dangerous an evil Habit and Cuſtom is, and how hard to be alter'd. Therefore the Cretians, when they would curſe a man to purpoſe, wiſh…d that the Gods would engage him in ſome bad Cuſtom, looking upon a man after that to be irrecoverably loſt. So on the other Side, to be engaged in a good Cuſtom is an unſpeakable advantage; eſpecially for Children to be habituated to a holy and virtuous courſe, before the Habits of Sin and Vice have taken root and are confirm'd in them.
We are too natu…ally inclined to that which is evil: But yet this ought not to diſcourage us, becauſe it is certain in Experience that a contrary Cu…om hath done much in many Caſes, even where Nature hath been ſtrongly inclined the other way. Demoſthenes did by great Reſolution and almoſt infinite Pains, and after a long Habit, alter the natural imperfection of his Speech, and even in deſpite of Nature became the moſt eloquent Man perhaps that ever lived. And this amounts even to a Demonſtration, for what hath been done may be done.
So that it is not univerſally true which Ariſtotle ſays, That Nature cannot be altered. It is true indeed in the Inſtance in which he gives of throwing a Stone upward; you cannot, ſays he, by any Cuſtom, nay though you fling it up never ſo often, teach a Stone to aſcend of it ſelf: And ſo it is in many other Inſtances in which Nature is peremptory: But Nature is not always ſo; but ſometimes hath a great latitude: As we ſee in young Trees, which though they naturally grow ſtraight up, yet being gently bent may be made to grow any way. But above all, Moral inclinations and habits do admit of great alteration, and are ſubject to the power of a contrary Cuſtom.
Indeed Children when they come to be Men ſhould take great care, that they do not owe their Religion only to Cuſtom; but they ſhould upon conſideration and due examination of the grounds of it, ſo far as they are capable of doing it, make it their Choice. And yet for all that we muſt not deny the beſt Religion in the World this greateſt advantage of all other. It is certainly a great happineſs for Children to be inclined to that which when they come to underſtand themſelves they would make their Choice, if they were indif…erent: But an indifferency cannot be preſerved in Children: And therefore, ſince they will certainly be biaſſed one way or other, there is all the reaſon in the World why we ſhould endeavour to byaſs them the better way. Parents may often miſtake about what is beſt, but if they love their Children they cannot but wiſh and endeavour that they may be good and do what is beſt.
I come now to the laſt Head. I propoſed which was.
V. To endeavour by the moſt powerful Arguments I can offer, to ſtir up and perſuade thoſe whoſe Duty this is, to diſcharge it with great Care and Conſcience.
If the foregoing Diſcourſe be true, what can be ſaid to thoſe who are guilty in the higheſt degree of the groſs neglect of this great Duty? Who, neither by Inſtruction, nor Example, nor Reſtraint from evil, do endeavour to make their Children good. Some Parents are ſuch Monſters, I had almoſt ſaid Devils, as not to know how to give good things to their Children; but inſtead of bread give them a ſtone, inſtead of fiſh give them a ſerpent, inſtead of an egg give them a ſcorpion, as our Saviour expreſſeth it.
Theſe are evil indeed, who train up their Children for ruin and deſtruction; in the ſervice of the Devil, and in the Trade and Myſtery of iniquity: Who, inſtead of teaching them the Fear of the Lord, infuſe into them the Principles of Atheiſm, and Irreligion, and Prophaneneſs: Inſtead of teaching them to love and reverence Religion, they teach them to hate and deſpiſe it, and to make a mock both of Sin and Holineſs: Inſtead of training them up in the knowledge of the H. Scriptures which are able to make men wiſe unto Salvation, they do aedificare ad Gehennam, they edify them for Hell, by teaching them to prophane that Holy Book, and to abuſe the Wor… of God which they ought to tremble at, by turning it into Jeſt and Raillery: Inſtead of teaching them to Pray and to bleſs the Name of God, they teach them to Blaſpheme that Great and terrible Name, and to prophane it by their continual Oaths and Imprecations: And inſtead of bringing them to God's Church, they carry them to the Devil's Chappels, to Playhouſes and Places of debauchery, thoſe Schools and Nurſeries of Lewdneſs and Vice.
Thus they, who ought to be the great Teachers and Examples of Holineſs and Virtue, are the chief encouragers and Patterns of Vice and wickedneſs in their Children; and inſtead of reſtraining them from evil, they countenance them in it, and check all forward inclinations to Goodneſs; till at laſt they make them ten times more the Children of Wrath, than they were by that corrupt Nature which they derived from them; and hereby treaſure up, both for their Children and themſelves, wrath againſt the Day of wrath and the Revelation of the righteous Judgment of God.
But I hope there are few or none ſuch here. They do not uſe to frequent God's Houſe and Worſhip. And therefore I ſhall apply my ſelf to thoſe who are not ſo notoriouſly guilty in this kind, though they are greatly faulty in neglecting the good Education of their Children. And for the greater conviction of ſuch Parents, I ſhall offer to them the following Conſiderations.
Firſt, Conſider what a ſad Inheritance you have conveyed to your Children. You have tranſmitted to them corrupt and depraved Natures, evil and vicious Inclinations… You have begotten them in your own Image and likeneſs, ſo that by Nature they are Children of wrath. Now methinks Parents that have a due ſenſe of this ſhould be very ſolicitous, by the beſt means they can uſe, to free …hem from that Curſe; by endeavouring to correct thoſe perverſe diſpoſitions and curſed inclinations which they have tranſmitted to them. Surely you ought to do all you can to repair that broken Eſtate which from you is deſcended upon them.
When a Man hath by Treaſon tainted his Blood and forfeited his Eſtate, with what grief and regret doth he look upon his Children, and think of the Injury which hath been done to them by his Fault? And how ſolicitous is he, before he dye, to petition the King for favour to his Children? How earneſtly doth he charge his Friends to be careful of them and kind to them? That by theſe means he may make the beſt reparation he can of their Fortune which hath been ruin'd by his Fault.
And have Parents ſuch a tenderneſs for their Children, in reference to their Eſtate and condition in this World; and have they none for the good eſtate of their Souls and their eternal condition in another World? If you are ſenſible that their Blood is tainted, and that their beſt Fortunes are ruin'd by your ſad Misfortune; Why do you not beſtir your ſelves for the repairing of God's Image in them? Why do you not travel in birth till Chriſt be formed in them? Why do you not pray earneſtly to God and give Him no reſt, who hath reprieved and it may be pardoned you, that He would extend his Grace to them alſo, and grant them the Bleſſings of his New Covenant?
All your Children are begotten of the Bond-woman; therefore we ſhould pray as Abraham did, O that Iſhmael may live in thy ſight: O that theſe Sons of Hagar may be Heirs of a Bleſſing.
Secondly, Conſider in the next place, that good Education is the very beſt Inheritance that you can leave to your Children. It is a wiſe Saying of Solom…n, Eccl. 7. 11. that Wiſdom is good with an Inh… ritance; but ſurely an Inheritance, without Wiſdom and Virtue to manage it, is a very pernicious thing. And yet how many Parents are there who omit no Care and Induſtry to get an Eſtate that they may leave it to their Children, but uſe no means to form their Minds and Manners for the right uſe and enjoyment of it; without which it had been much happier for them to have been left in great Poverty and ſtraits?
Doſt thou love thy Child? This is true love to any one, to do the beſt for him we can. Of all your toil and labour for your Children, this may be all the fruit they may reap, and all that they may live to enjoy, the advantage of a good Education. All other things are uncertain. You may raiſe your Children to Honour, and ſettle a Noble Eſtate upon them to ſupport it: You may leave them, as you think, to faithful Guardians, and by kindneſs and obligation procure them many Friends: And when you have done all this, their Guardians may prove unfaithful and treacherous, and in the Changes and Revolutions of the World their Honours may ſlip from under them, and their Riches may take to themſelves wings and fly away: And when theſe are gone, and they come to be nipp'd with the Froſts of Adverſity, their Friends will fall off like leaves in Autumn. This is a ſore evil, which yet I have ſeen under the Sun.
But if the good Education of your Children hath made them wiſe and virtuous, you have provided an Inheritance for them which is out of the reach of Fortune, and cannot be taken from them. Crates the Philoſopher uſed to ſtand in the higheſt Places of the City, and to cry out to the Inhabitants, O ye People! why do you toil to get Eſtates for your Children, when you take no care of their Education? This is, as Diogenes ſaid, to take care of the Shooe, but none of the foot that is to wear it; to …ake great pains for an Eſtate for your Children, but none at all to teach them how to uſe it; that is, to take great care to undo them, but none to make them happy.
Thirdly, Conſider that by a careful and Religious Education of your Children you provide for your own Comfort and Happineſs. However they happen to prove, you will have the comfort of a good Conſcience and of having done your Duty. If they be good, they are matter of great Comfort and Joy to their Parents. A wiſe Son, ſaith Solomon, maketh a glad Father. It is a great ſatisfaction to ſee that which we have planted to thrive and grow up; to find the good effect of our care and induſtry, and that the work of our hands doth proſper. The Son of Sirach, among ſeveral things for which he reckons a Man happy, mentions this in the firſt place, He that hath joy of his Children, Ecclus. 25. 7.
On the contrary, in wicked Children the honour of a Family fails, our Name withers, and in the next Generation will quite be blotted out: Whereas a hopeful Poſterity is a proſpect of a kind of Eternity. We cannot leave a better and more laſting Monument of our ſelves, than in wiſe and vir…uous Children. Buildings and Books are but dead things in compariſon of theſe living Memorials of our Selves.
By the good Education of your Children you provide for your Selves ſome of the beſt Comforts both for this World and the other. For this World; and that at ſuch a Time when you moſt ſtand in need of Comfort, I mean the Time of Sickn…ſs and old Age. Wiſe men have been wont to lay up ſome praeſidia S…n…ctutis, ſomething to ſupport them in that gloomy and melancholy Time, as Books, and Friends, or the like. But there is no ſuch external Comfort at ſuch a Time as good and dutiful Children. They will then be the light of our Eyes, and the Cordial of our fainting Spirits; and will recompence all our former care of th…m by their preſent care of us: And when we are decaying and withering away, we ſhall have the pleaſure to ſee our Youth as it were renewed, and our ſelves flouriſhing again in our Children. The Son of Sirach ſpeaking of the comfort which a good Father hath in a well educated Son, Though he dye, ſays he, yet he …s as if he were not dead, for he hath left one behind him that is like himſelf. While he lived he ſaw and rejoiced in him, and when he died he was not ſorrowful, Eccluſ. 30. 4, 5.
Whereas on the contrary, a fooliſh Son is, as Solomon tells us, a heavineſs to his Mother, the miſcarriage of a Child being apt moſt tenderly to affect the Mother. Such Parents as neglect their Children, do as it were provide ſo many pains and Aches for themſelves againſt they come to be Old. And rebellious Children are to their infirm and aged Parents ſo many aggravations of an evil Day, ſo many burthens of their Age: They help to bow them down and to bring their gray hairs ſo much the ſooner with ſorrow to the grave. They do uſually repay their Parents all the neglects of their Education by their undutiful carriage towards them.
And good Children will likewiſe be an unſpeakable Comfort to us in the Other World. When we come to appear before God at the Day of Judgment, to be able to ſay to Him, … here am I and the Children which thou haſt given me: How will this comfort our Hearts, and make us lift up our Heads with joy in that Day?
Fourthly, Conſider that the ſureſt Foundation of the publick welfare and happineſs is laid in the good Education of Children. Families are increaſed by Children, and Cities and Nations are made up of Families. And this is a matter of ſo great concernment both to Religion and the Civil happineſs of a Nation, that anciently the beſt conſtituted Commonwealths did commit this care to the Magiſtrate more than to Parents.
When Antipater demanded of the Spartans fifty of their Children for Hoſtages, they offer'd rather to deliver to Him twice as many Men; ſo much did they value the loſs of their Country's Education. But now amongſt us this Work lies chiefly upon Parents. There are ſeveral ways of reforming Men; by the Laws of the Civil Magiſtrate, and by the publick Preaching of Miniſters. But the moſt likely and hopeful Reformation of the World muſt begin with Children. Wholſome Laws and good Sermons are but ſlow and late ways: The timely and the moſt compendious way is good Education. This may be an effectual Prevention of evil, whereas all after-ways are but Remedies, which do always ſuppoſe ſome neglect and omiſſion of timely care.
And becauſe our Laws leave ſo much to Parents, our Care ſhould be ſo much the greater; and we ſhould remember that we bring up our Children for the Publick, and that if they live to be M…n, as they come out of our hands they will prove a publick Happineſs or Miſchief to the Age. So that we can no way better deſerve of Mankind and be greater Benefactors to the World, than by Peopling it with a Righteous Offſpring. Good Children are the hopes of Poſterity, and we cannot leave the World a better Legacy than well-diſciplin'd Children. This gives the World the beſt Security that Religion will be propagated to Poſterity, and that the Generations to come ſhall know God, and the Children that are to be born ſhall fear the Lord.
This was the great Glory of Abraham, next to his being the Friend of God, that he was the Father of the Faithful. And the careful Education of Children, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, is ſo honourable to Parents, that God himſelf would not paſs it by in Abraham without ſpecial mention of it to his …verlaſting commendation: I know Abraham, ſays God, that he will command his children and his Houſhold after him to keep the way of the Lord, and to do Juſtice and Judgment, Gen 18. 19.
Fifthly, Conſider yet further, the great Evils conſequent upon this neglect. And they are manifold. But not to enlarge particularly upon them, they all end in this, the final miſcarriage and ruin of Children. Do but leave depraved corrupt Nature to its ſelf, and it will take its own courſe, and the end of it in all probability will be miſerable.
If the generous Seeds of Religion and Virtue be not carefully ſown in the tender Minds of Children, and thoſe Seeds be not cultivated by good Education, there will certainly ſpring up Briars and Thorns, of which Parents will not only feel the inconvenience, but every body elſe that comes near them.
Neglectis urenda filix innaſcitur Agris.
If the Ground be not planted with ſomething that is good, it will bring forth that which is either uſeleſs or hurtful, or both: For Nature is ſeldom barren, it will either bring forth uſeful …lants, or Weeds.
We are naturally inclined to Evil, and the neglect of Education puts Children upon a kind of neceſſity of becoming what they are naturally inclin'd to be. Do but let them alone, and they will ſoon be habituated to Sin and Vice. And when they are once accuſtomed to do evil, they have loſt their Liberty and Choice: They are then hardly capable of good counſel and inſtruction: Or if they be patient to hear it, they have no power to follow it, being bound in the chains of their Sins, and led captive by Satan at his pleaſure. And when they have brought themſelves into this condition, their Ruin ſeems to be ſealed, and without a Miracle of God's Grace they are never to be reclaimed.
Nor doth the miſchief of this neglect end here, but it extends it ſelf to the Publick, and to Poſterity. If we neglect the good Education of our Children, they will in all probability prove bad Men; and theſe will neglect their Children; and ſo the Foundation of an endleſs Miſchief is laid; and our Poſterity will be bad Members both of Church and Commonwealth.
If they be neglected in matter of In…ction, they will either be ignorant or …rroneous: Either they will not mind Religion, or they will diſturb the Church with new and wild Opinions: And I fear that the neglect of inſtructing and Catechiſing Youth, of which this Age hath been ſo groſsly guilty, hath made it ſo fruitful of Errors and ſtrange Opinions.
But if beſides this, no care be taken of their Lives and Manners, they will become burthens of the Earth, and Peſts of Human Society, and ſo much Poiſon and infection let abroad into the World.
Sixthly and Laſtly, Parents ſhould often conſider that the neglect of this Duty will not only involve them in the inconvenience, and ſhame, and ſorrow, of their Childrens miſcarriage, but in a great meaſure in the guilt of it: They will have a great ſhare in all the Evil they do, and be in ſome ſort chargeable with all the Sins they commit. If the Children bring forth wild and ſowre Grapes, the Parents teeth will be ſet on edge.
The temporal Miſchiefs and inconveniences which come from the careleſs Education of Children as to Credit, Health and Eſtate, all which do uſually ſuffer by the vicious and lewd courſes of your Children; theſe methinks ſhould awaken your care and diligence: But what is this to the guilt which will redound to you upon their account? Part of all their wickedneſs will be put upon your ſcore; and poſſibly the Sins, which they commit many years afte… you are dead and gone, will follow you into the other World, and bring new fewel to Hell, to heat that … hotter upon you.
However, this is certain, that … muſt one Day be accountable for all their neglects of their Children: And ſo likewiſe ſhall Miniſters and Maſters of Families for their People and Servants, ſo far as they had the Charge of them.
And what will Parents be able to ſay to God at the Day of Judgment for all their neglects of their Children, in matter of Inſtruction, and Example, and Reſtraint from evil? How will it make your ears to tingle, when God ſhall ariſe terribly to Judgment, and ſay to you, Behold! the Children which I have given you; They were ignorant, and you inſtructed them not; They made themſelves vile, and you reſtrained them not: Why did not you teach them at Home, and bring them to Church to the publick Ordinances and Worſhip of God, and train them up to the exerciſe of Piety and Devotion? But you did not only neglect to give them good Inſtruction, but you gave them bad Example: And lo! they have followed you to Hell, to be an addition to your Torment there.
Unnatural Wretches! that have thus neglected, and by your neglect deſtroyed thoſe, whoſe Happineſs by ſo many bonds of Duty and Affection you were obliged to procure: Behold! the Books are now open, and there is not one Prayer upon Record that ever you put up for your Children: There is no Memorial, no not ſo much as of one Hour that ever was ſeriouſly ſpent to train them up to a ſenſe of God, and to the knowledge of their Duty: But on the contrary it appears, that you have many ways contrived their Miſery, and contributed to their Ruin, and help'd forward their Damnation. How could you …e thus unnatural? How could you thus hate your own Fl…ſh, and hate your own Souls? How much better had it been for them, and how much better for you, that they had never been born?
Would not ſuch a heavy Charge as this make every joint of you to tremble? Will it not cut you to the heart, and pierce your very Souls, to have your Children challenge you in that Day, and ſay to you one by one, Had you been as careful to teach me the good knowledge of the Lord, as I was capable of learning it: Had you been but as forward to inſtruct me in my Duty, as I was ready to have hearken'd to it, it had not been with me as it is at this Day: I had not now ſtood trembling here in a fearful expectation of the eternal Doom which is juſt ready to be paſs'd upon me. Curſed be the Man that begate me, and the Paps that gave me ſuck. 'Tis to You that I muſt in a great meaſure owe my everlaſting undoing. Would it not ſtrike any of us with horror to be thus challenged and reproached by our Children in that great and terrible Day of the Lord?
I am not able to make ſo dreadful a repreſentation of this matter as it deſerves. But I would by all this, if it be poſſible, awaken Parents to a ſenſe of their Duty, and terrify them out of this groſs and ſhameful neglect which ſo many are guilty of. For when I ſeriouſly conſider how ſupinely remiſs and unconcerned many Parents are as to the Religious Education of their Children, I cannot but think of that Saying of Auguſtus concerning Herod, Better be his Dog than his Child: I think it was ſpoken to another purpoſe, but is true likewiſe to the purpoſe I am ſpeaking of: Better to be ſome Mens Dogs, or Hawks, or Horſes, than their Children: For they take a greater care to breed and train up theſe to their ſeveral ends and uſes, than to breed up their Children for eternal Happineſs.
Upon all theſe accounts, Train up a Child in the way he ſhould go, that when …e is old he may not depart from it: That neither your Children may be miſerable by your Fault, nor you by the neglect of ſo natural and neceſſary a Du…y towards them. God grant that all …hat are concerned may lay theſe things ſeriouſly to heart: For his mercies ſake in Jeſus Chriſt; To Whom, with Th…e O Father, and the Holy Ghoſt, be all Honour and Glory both now and ever. Amen.