Six Sermons, Sermon 3
SERMON I. OF THE Education of Children.
PROV. XXII. 6.
Train up a child in the way he ſhould go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
I Have on purpoſe choſen this Text for the ſubject of a Preparatory Diſcourſe in order to the reviving of that ſo ſhamefully neglected and yet moſt uſeful and neceſſary Duty of Catechiſing children and young perſons: But I ſhall extend it to the conſideration of the Education of Children in general, as a matter of the greateſt conſequence both to Religion and the Publick welfare.
For we who are the Miniſters of God ought not only to inſtruct thoſe who are committed to our charge in the common Duties of Chriſtianity, ſuch as belong to all Chriſtians, but likewiſe in all the particular Duties which the ſeveral Relations in which they ſtand to one another do reſpectively require and call for from them.
And amongſt all theſe I know none that is of greater concernment to Religion and to the good Order of the World than the careful Education of Children. And there is hardly any thing that is more difficult, and which requires a more prudent and diligent and conſtant application of our beſt care and endeavour.
It is a known Saying of Melancthon that there are three things which are extremely difficult, parturire, docere, regere; to bear and bring forth Children, to inſtruct and bring them up to be Men, and to govern them when they arrive at Man's eſtate. The inſtruction and good Education of Children is none of the leaſt difficult of theſe. For to do it to the beſt advantage does not only require great ſagacity to diſcern their particular diſpoſition and temper, but great diſcretion to deal with them and manage them, and likewiſe continual care and diligent attendance to form them by degrees to Religion and Virtue.
It requires great wiſdom and induſtry to advance a conſiderable Eſtate, much art and contrivance and pains to raiſe a great and regular Building: But the greateſt and nobleſt Work in the World, and an effect of the greateſt prudence and care is to rear and build up a Man, and to form and faſhion him to Piety, and Juſtice, and Temperance, and all kind of honeſt and worthy actions. Now the Foundations of this great Work are to be carefully laid in the tender years of Children, that it may riſe and grow up with them; according to the advice of the Wiſeman here in the Text, Train up a Child in the way he ſhould go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
In which words are contained theſe two things.
Firſt, The Duty of Parents and Inſtructers of Children, Train up a Child, &c. By Childhood here I underſtand the Age of Perſons from their Birth, but more eſpecially from their firſt capacity of Inſtruction till they arrive at the State and Age which next ſucceeds Childhood, and which we call Youth; and which is the proper Seaſon for Confirmation. For when Children have been well Catechiſed and inſtructed in Religion, then is the fitteſt Time for them to take upon themſelves and in their own Perſons to confirm that ſolemn Vow which by their Sureties they made at their Baptiſm.
Train up a Child in the way he ſhould go, that is, in the courſe of Life that he ought to lead; inſtruct him carefully in the knowledge and practice of his whole duty to God and Men, which he ought to obſerve and perform all the days of his Life.
Secondly, Here is the conſequent fruit and benefit of good Education: And when he is old he will not depart from it. This we are to underſtand according to the moral probability of things: Not as if this happy effect did always and infallibly follow upon the good Education of a Child, but that this very frequently is, and may probably be preſumed and hoped to be the fruit and effect of a pious and prudent Education. Solomon means that from the very nature of the thing this is the moſt hopeful and likely way to train up a Child to be a good Man. For as Ariſtotle truly obſerves, Moral Sayings and Proverbial Speeches are to be underſtood only foreign, that is, to be uſually and for the moſt part true. And though there may be ſeveral exceptions made, and inſtances given to the contrary, yet this doth not infringe the general truth of them: But if in frequent and common experience they be found true, this is all the truth that is expected in them, becauſe it is all that was intended by them.
And of this nature is this Aphoriſm or Proverb of Solomon in the Text; and ſo likewiſe are moſt of the wiſe Sayings of this Book of the Proverbs, as alſo of Eccleaſiſtes: And we do greatly miſtake the deſign and meaning of them when ever we go about to exact them to a more ſtrict and rigorous truth, and ſhall upon due conſideration find it impoſſible to bring them to it.
So that the true meaning of the Text may be fully compriſed in the following Propoſition.
That the careful, and prudent, and religious Education of Children hath for the moſt part a very good influence upon the whole courſe of their lives.
In the handling of this Argument I deſign, by God's aſſiſtance, to reduce my Diſcourſe to theſe Five Heads.
I. I ſhall ſhew more generally wherein the good Education of Children doth conſiſt, and ſeverally conſider the principal parts of it.
II. I ſhall give ſome more particular Directions for the management of this work in ſuch a way as may be moſt effectual for its end.
III. I ſhall take notice of ſome of the common and more remarkable miſcarriages in the performance of this Duty.
IV. I ſhall endeavour to make out the truth of this Propoſition, by ſhewing how the good Education of Children comes to be of ſo great advantage and to have ſo powerful and laſting an influence upon their whole Lives.
V. and Laſtly; I ſhall by the moſt powerful Arguments I can offer, endeavour to ſtir up and perſuade thoſe whoſe Duty this is, to diſcharge it with great care and conſcience.
I. I ſhall ſhew more generally wherein the good Education of Children doth conſiſt, and ſeverally conſider the principal Parts of it. And under this Head I ſhall comprehend promiſcuouſly the Duty of Parents, and, in caſe of their death, of Guardians; and of God-fathers and God-mothers; though this for the moſt part ſignifies very little more than a pious and charitable care and concernment for them, becauſe the Children for whom they are Sureties are ſeldom under their power: And the Duty likewiſe of thoſe who are the Teachers and Inſtructers of them: And the Duty alſo of Maſters of Families towards Servants in their childhood and younger years: And laſtly the Duty of Miniſters, under whoſe Parochial care and inſpection Children are as members of the Families committed to their charge: I ſay, under this Head I ſhall comprehend the Duties of all theſe reſpectively, according to the ſeveral obligations which lie upon each of them in their ſeveral relations to them. And I ſhall reduce them to theſe eight particulars, as the principal parts wherein the Education of Children doth conſiſt.
Firſt, In the tender and careful nurſing of them.
Secondly, In bringing them to be baptiſed and admitted Members of Chriſt's Church, at the times appointed or accuſtomed in the National Church of which the Parents are Members.
Thirdly, In a due care to inform and inſtruct them in the whole compaſs of their Duty to God and to their Neighbour.
Fourthly, And more eſpecially in a prudent and diligent care to form their Lives and Manners to Religion and Virtue.
Fifthly, In giving them good Example.
Sixthly, In wiſe reſtraints from that which is Evil, by ſeaſonable Reproof and Correction.
Seventhly, In bringing them to be publickly Catechiſed by the Miniſter in order to Confirmation.
Eighthly, In bringing them to the Biſhop to be ſolemnly Confirmed, by their taking upon themſelves the Vow which by their Sureties they enter'd into at their Baptiſm.
I. In the tender and careful nurſing of Children. I mention this firſt, becauſe it is the firſt and moſt natural Duty incumbent upon Parents towards their Children: And this is particularly the Duty of Mothers. This affection and tenderneſs, Nature which is our ſureſt guide and director, hath implanted in all living Creatures towards their young ones: And there cannot be a greater reproach to Creatures that are endued with Reaſon, than to neglect a Duty to which Nature directs even the Brute Creatures by a blind and unthinking Inſtinct. So that it is ſuch a Duty as cannot be neglected without a downright affront to Nature, and from which nothing can excuſe but diſability, or ſickneſs, or the evident danger of the Mother, or the interpoſition of the Father's Authority, or ſome very extraordinary and publick neceſſity.
This I foreſee will ſeem a very hard Saying to nice and delicate Mothers, who prefer their own eaſe and pleaſure to the fruit of their own Bodies: But whether they will hear, or whether they will forbear, I think my ſelfobliged to deal plainly in this matter, and to be ſo faithful as to tell them that this is a natural Duty; and becauſe it is ſo, of a more neceſſary and indiſpenſable obligation than any poſitive Precept of reveal'd Religion; and that the general neglect of it is one of the great and crying Sins of this Age and Nation; and which as much as any Sin whatſoever is evidently a puniſhment to it ſelf in the palpable ill effects and conſequences of it: Which I ſhall, as briefly as I can, endeavour to repreſent; that if it be poſſible, we may in this firſt Point of Education, ſo fundamental and neceſſary to the happineſs both of Parents and Children, and conſequently to the Publick Good of Human Society, be brought to comply with the uner…ing Inſtinct of Nature, and with the plain Dictate of the common Reaſon of Mankind, and the general practice of all Ages and Nations.
Firſt, The neglect of this Duty is a …ort of expoſing of Children; eſpecially when it is not done, as very often it is not, with more than ordinary care and choice. It always expoſeth them to manifeſt inconvenience, and ſometimes to great danger; even to that degree as in the conſequence of it is but little better than the laying a Child in the Streets, and leaving it to the care and compaſſion of a Pariſh. There are two very viſible inconveniencies which …o commonly attend it.
1ſt, Strange Milk, which is often very diſagreeable to the Child, and with which …he Child to be ſure ſucks in the natural in…irmities of the Nurſe, together with a great deal of her natural inclinations and irregular paſſions, which many times ſtick by the Child for a long time after: And which is worſe than all this, it ſometimes happens that ſome ſecret Diſeaſe of the Nurſe is conveyed to the Child.
2dly, A ſhameful and dangerous neglect of the Child, eſpecially by ſuch Nurſes as make a Trade of it; of whom there are great numbers in and about this great City: Who after they have made their firſt and main advantage of the Child, by the exceſſive, not to ſay extravagant vailes, which uſually here in England, above all places in the Wo…ld, are given at Chriſtenings… And then by the ſtrait allowances which are commonly made afterwards for the nurſing and keeping of the Child, are often tempted, not to ſay worſe, to a great neglect of the Child; which, if it happen to dye for want of due care, …ets the Nurſe at liberty to make a new advantage by taking another Child.
Nor can it well be otherwiſe expected than that a Nurſe, who by this courſe is firſt made to be unnatural to her own Child, ſhould have no great care and tenderneſs for a Child which is not her own.
I have heard a very ſad Obſervation made by thoſe who have had the opportunity to know it, that in ſeveral of the Towns and Villages about London, where this Trade of nurſing Children is chiefly driven, hardly one in five of theſe Children lives out the year: And this ſurely is a danger which natural affection as well as duty does oblige Parents to take all poſſible care to prevent.
Secondly, This courſe doth moſt certainly tend very much to the eſtranging and weakning of natural affection on both ſides; I mean both on the part of the Mother and of the Child. The pains of nurſing as well as of bearing Children doth inſenſibly create a ſtrange tenderneſs of affection and care in the Mother. Can a woman, ſays God, forget her ſucking child, that ſhe ſhould not have compaſſion on the ſon of her womb? Iſa. 49. 15. Can a Woman? that is, a Mother, not a Nurſe; for the ſucking child is ſaid to be the ſon of her womb. God ſpeaks of this as a thing next to impoſſible.
And this likewiſe is a great endearment of the Mother to the Child: Which endearment, when the Child is put out, is transferr'd from the Mother to the Nurſe, and many times continues to be ſo for a great many years after; yea, and often to that degree as if the Nurſe were the true Mother, and the true Mother a meer ſtranger. So that by this means natural affection muſt be extremely weaken'd; which is great pity, becauſe when it is kept up in its full ſtrength it often proves one of the beſt ſecurities of the Duty of a Child.
But becauſe this ſevere Doctrine will go down but very hardly with a great many, I muſt take the more care to guard it againſt the Objections which will be made to it. Thoſe from natural diſability, or ſickneſs; from evident and apparent danger of the Mother, or from the interpoſition of the Father's Authority, or from plain neceſſity; or if there be any other that have an equal Reaſon with theſe, I have prevented already by allowing them to be juſt and reaſonable exceptions from the general Rule, when they are real, and not made Pretences to ſhake off our Duty.
But there are beſides theſe, two Objections which indeed are real, but yet ſeem to have too great a weight with thoſe who would fain decline this Duty, and are by no means ſufficient to excuſe Mothers, no not thoſe of the higheſt Rank and Quality, from the natural obligation of it. And they are theſe. The manifeſt trouble, and the manifold reſtraint which the careful diſcharge of this Duty does unavoidably bring upon thoſe who ſubmit themſelves to it.
1ſt. For the trouble of it, I have only this to ſay, and I think that no more need to be ſaid about it; that no body is diſcharged from any Duty by reaſon of the trouble which neceſſarily attends it, and is inſeparable from it; ſince God who made it a Duty foreſaw the trouble of it when he made it ſo.
2dly. As to the manifold reſtraint which it lays upon Mothers; this will beſt be anſwer'd by conſidering of what nature theſe reſtraints are. And they are chiefly in theſe and the like inſtances. This Duty reſtrains Mothers from ſpending their Morning and their Money in curious and coſtly Dreſſing; from miſſpending the reſt of the Day in formal and for the moſt part impertinent Viſits, and in ſeeing and hearing Plays, many of which are neither fit to be ſeen or heard by modeſt Perſons and thoſe who pretend to Religion and Virtue; as I hope all Chriſtians do, eſpecially Perſons of higher Rank and Quality: And it reſtrains them likewiſe from trifling away a great part of the Night in Gaming, and in Revelling till paſt Midnight, I am loth to ſay how much.
Theſe are thoſe terrible reſtraints which this natural Duty, of Mothers nurſing their Children, lays upon them. Now I cannot but think all theſe to be very happy reſtraints: Happy ſurely for the Child; and in many reſpects happy for the Father, and for the whole Family, which by this means will be kept in much better order: But happieſt of all for the Mother, who does herein not only diſcharge a great and neceſſary Duty, but is hereby alſo hinder'd from running into many great Faults, which before they will be forgiven muſt coſt her a deep Contrition, and a very bitter Repentance.
Perhaps I may have gone further in this unuſual Argument, than will pleaſe the preſent Age: But I hope Poſterity will be ſo wiſe as to conſider it and lay it to heart. For I am greatly afraid that the World will never be much better till this great Fault be mended. I proceed to the next Particular wherein the good Education of Children doth conſiſt, namely
II. In bringing them to be Baptized and admitted Members of Chriſt's Church, at the times appointed or accuſtomed in the National Church of which the Parents are Members. I mean, to bring them to the Church to be there publickly initiated, and ſolemnly admitted by Baptiſm. And this the Rules of the Church of England do ſtrictly enjoyn, unleſs the Child be in danger of death; and in that caſe only it is allow'd to adminiſter Baptiſm privately, and in a ſummary way without performing the whole Office: But then if the Child live, it is ordered that it ſhall be brought to the Church, where the remainder of the Office is to be ſolemnly perform'd.
I know that of late years, ſince our unhappy Confuſions, this Sacrament hath very frequently been adminiſtred in private: And Miniſters have been in a manner, and to avoid the greater miſchief of Separation, neceſſitated to comply with the obſtinacy of the greater and more powerful of their Pariſhioners; who for their eaſe, or humour, or for the convenience of a pompous Chriſtening, will either have their Children baptized at home by their Miniſter; or if he refuſe, will get ſome other Miniſter to do it; which is very irregular.
Now I would intreat ſuch perſons calmly to conſider how contrary to Reaſon, and to the plain deſign of the inſtitution of this Sacrament, this perverſe cuſtom, and their obſtinate reſolution in it, is. For is there any Civil Society or Corporation into which perſons are admitted without ſome kind of Solemnity? And is the Privilege of being admitted Members of the Chriſtian Church, and Heirs of the great and glorious Promiſes and Bleſſings of the New Covenant of the Goſpel leſs conſiderable and fit to be conferr'd with leſs Solemnity? I ſpeak to Chriſtians, and they who are ſo in good earneſt, will without my uſing more words about it, conſider what I …y in this Particular.
III. Another and very neceſſary Part of the good Education of Children is, by degrees to inform and carefully to inſtruct them in the whole compaſs of their Duty to God, their Neighbour, and Themſelves: That ſo they may be taught how to behave themſelves in all the ſteps of their Life, from their firſt capacity of Reaſon till they arrive at the more perfect uſe and exerciſe of that Faculty; when, if at firſt they be well inſtructed, they will be better able to direct and govern themſelves afterwards.
This Duty God does expreſly and very particularly charge upon his own peculiar People, the People of Iſrael, ſpeaking of the Laws which he had given them: Duet. 6. 7, Thou ſhalt, ſays He, teach them diligently unto thy Children, and ſhalt talk of them when thou ſitteſt in thine houſe, and when thou walkeſt by the way; when thou lieſt down, and when thou riſeſt up. And this God long before promiſed that Abraham the Father of the faithful, would do. Gen. 18. 19. I know Abraham, ſays He, that he will command his Children and his Houſhold after him to keep the way of the Lord.
This Work ought to be begun very early, upon the firſt budding and appearance of Reaſon and Underſtanding in Children. So the Prophet directs; Iſa. 28. 9, 10. Whom ſhall he teach knowledge? Whom ſhall he make to underſtand doctrine? Them that are weaned from the milk, and drawn from the breaſts: For precept muſt be upon precept, &c.
To this end we muſt, by ſuch degrees as they are capable, bring them acquainted with God and themſelves. And in the firſt place we muſt inform them, that there is ſuch a Being as God, whom we ought to honour and reverence above all things? And then, that we are all his Creatures and the work of his hands, that it is He that hath made us, and not we our ſelves: That He continually preſerves us, and gives us all the good things that we enjoy; and therefore we ought to ask every thing of Him by Prayer, becauſe this is an acknowledgment of our dependance upon Him; and to return thanks to Him for all that we have and hope for, becauſe this is a juſt and eaſy Tribute, and all that we can render to Him for his numberleſs favours and benefits.
And after this, they are to be inſtructed more particularly in their Duty to God and Men, as I ſhall ſhew more fully afterwards. And becauſe Fear and Hope are the two Paſſions which do chiefly ſway and govern Human Nature, and the main ſprings and Principles of action; therefore Children are to be carefully inform'd that there is a Life after Death, wherein men ſhall receive from God a mighty and eternal Reward, or a terrible and endleſs Puniſhment, according as they have done or neglected their Duty in this Life: That God will love and reward thoſe who do his will and keep his commandments, but will execute a dreadful puniſhment upon the workers of iniquity and the wilful tranſgreſſors of his Laws.
And, according as they are capable, they are to be made ſenſible of the great degeneracy and corruption of Human Nature, derived to us by the Fall and wilful tranſgreſſion of our firſt Parents; and of the way of our Recovery out of this miſerable ſtate by Jeſus Chriſt; whom God hath ſent in our Nature to purchaſe and accompliſh the Redemption and Salvation of Mankind, from the Captivity of Sin and Satan, and from the Damnation of Hell.
IV. The good Education of Children conſiſts not only in informing their Minds in the knowledge of God and their Duty, but more eſpecially in endeavouring with the greateſt care and prudence to form their Lives and Manners to Religion and Virtue. And this muſt be done by training them up to the exerciſe of the following Graces and Virtues.
Firſt, To Obedience and Modeſty; to Diligence and Sincerity; and to Tenderneſs and Pity, as the general diſpoſitions to Religion and Virtue.
Secondly, To the good government of their Paſſions, and of their Tongue; and particularly to ſpeak truth, and to hate Lying as a baſe and vile quality; theſe being as it were the foundations of Religion and Virtue.
Thirdly, To Piety and Devotion towards God; to Sobriety and Chaſtity with regard to themſelves; and to Juſtice and Charity towards all men; as the principal and eſſential Parts of Religion and Virtue.
Firſt, As the general diſpoſitions to Religion and Virtue, we muſt train them up,
1ſt. To Obedience. Parents muſt take great care to maintain their Authority over their Children; otherwiſe they will neither regard their Commands, nor hearken to and follow their Inſtructions. If they once get head and grow ſtubborn and diſobedient, there is very little hope left of doing any great good upon them.
2dly. To Modeſty, which is a fear of Shame and Diſgrace. This diſpoſition, which is proper to Children, is a marvellous advantage to all good purpoſes. They are modeſt, ſays Ariſtotle, who are afraid to offend, and they are afraid to offend who are moſt apt to do it; as Children are, becauſe they are much under the power of their Paſſions, without a proportionable ſtrength of Reaſon to govern them and keep them under.
Now Modeſty is not properly a Virtue, but it is a very good Sign of a tractable and towardly Diſpoſition, and a great preſervative and ſecurity againſt Sin and Vice: And thoſe Children, who are much under the reſtraint of Modeſty, we look upon as moſt hopeful and likely to prove good: Whereas Immodeſty is a vicious temper broke looſe and got free from all reſtraint: So that there is nothing left to keep an impudent perſon from Sin, when fear of Shame is gone: For Sin will ſoon take poſſeſſion of that perſon whom Shame hath left. He that is once become ſhameleſs hath proſtituted himſelf. Therefore preſerve this Diſpoſition in Children as much as is poſſible, as one of the beſt means to preſerve their innocency, and to bring them to goodneſs.
3dly. To diligence, ſine quâ vir magnus nunquam extitit… without which, ſays one, there never was any great and excellent perſon. When the Roman Hiſtorians deſcribe an extraordinary man, this always enters into his Character as an eſſential part of it, that he was incredibili induſtriâ, diligentiâ ſingulari, of incredible induſtry, of ſingular diligence; or ſomething to that purpoſe. And indeed a Perſon can neither be excellently good, nor extremely bad without this quality. The Devil himſelf could not be ſo bad and miſchievous as he is, if he were not ſo ſtirring and reſtleſs a Spirit, and did not compaſs the Earth and go to and fro ſeeking whom he might devour.
This is part of the Character of Sylla, and Marius, and Cataline, thoſe great Diſturbers of the Roman State; as well as of Ceſar and Pompey, who were much greater and better men, but yet gave trouble enough to their Countrey, and at laſt diſſolved the Roman Commonwealth, by their Ambition and Contention for Superiority: This, I ſay, enters into all their Characters, that they were of a vigorous and indefatigable ſpirit. So that Diligence in it ſelf is neither a Virtue nor a Vice, but may be applied either way, to good or bad purpoſes; and yet where all other requiſites do concur it is a very proper Inſtrument and Diſpoſition for Virtue.
Therefore train up Children to diligence, if ever you deſire they ſhould excel in any kind. The diligent hand, ſaith Solomon, maketh rich, Prov. 10. 4. Rich in eſtate, Rich in knowledge. Seeſt thou a man diligent in his buſineſs, as the ſame Wiſe-man obſerves, Prov. 22. 29. he ſhall ſtand before Princes, he ſhall not ſtand before mean, or obſcure men. And again, Prov. 12. 24. The hand of the diligent ſhall bear rule, but the ſlothful ſhall be under Tribute. Diligence puts almoſt every thing into our power, and will in time make Children capable of the beſt and greateſt things.
Whereas Idleneſs is the bane and ruin of Children; it is the unbending of their Spirits, the Ruſt of their Faculties, and as it were the laying of their Minds fallow; not as Husbandmen do their Lands that they may get new heart and ſtrength, but to impair and loſe that which they have. Children that are bred up in lazineſs are almoſt neceſſarily bad, becauſe they cannot take the pains to be good; and they cannot take pains, becauſe they have never been inured and accuſtomed to it; which makes their Spirits reſtive, and when you have occaſion to quicken them and ſpur them up to buſineſs they will ſtand ſtock ſtill.
Therefore never let your Children be without a Calling, or without ſome uſeful, or at leaſt innocent employment that will take them up; that they may not be put upon a kind of neceſſity of being vicious for want of ſomething better to do. The Devil tempts the active and vigorous into his ſervice, knowing what …it and proper inſtruments they are to do his drudgery: But the ſlothful and idle, no body having hired them and ſet them on work, lie in his way, and he ſtumbles upon them as he goes about; and they do as it were offer themſelves to his ſervice, and having nothing to do they even tempt the Devil himſelf to tempt them, and to take them in his way.
4thly. To ſincerity; which is not ſo properly a ſingle Virtue, as the life and ſoul of all other Graces and Virtues; and without which, what ſhew of goodneſs ſoever a man may make, he is un…ound and rotten at the heart. Cheriſh therefore this diſpoſition in Children, as that which when they come to be men will be the great ſecurity and ornament of their lives, and will render them acceptable both to God and Men.
5thly. To tenderneſs and pity: Which, when they come to engage in buſineſs and to have dealings in the World, will be a good bar againſt Injuſtice and Oppreſſion; and will be continually prompting us to Charity, and will fetch powerful Arguments for it from our own bowels.
To preſerve this goodneſs and tenderneſs of nature, this ſo very human and uſeful affection, keep Children, as much as is poſſible, out of the way of bloody Sights and Spectacles of cruelty; and diſcountenance in them all cruel and barbarous uſage of Creatures under their power: do not allow them to torture and kill them for their ſport and pleaſure; becauſe this will inſenſibly and by degrees hard…n their hearts, and make them leſs apt to compaſſionate the wants of the poor and the ſufferings and afflictions of the miſerable.
Secondly, As the main Foundations of Religion and Vertue, Children muſt be carefully train'd up to the Government of their Paſſions, and of their Tongues; and particularly to ſpeak truth, and to hate lying as a baſe and vile quality.
1ſt. To the good Government of their Paſſions. It is the diſorder of theſe, more eſpecially of Deſire, and Fear, and Anger, which betrays us to many evils… Anger prompts men to contention and murther: Inordinate Deſire, to covetouſneſs and fraud and oppreſſion: And Fear many times awes men into Sin, and deters them from their Duty.
Now if theſe Paſſions be cheriſh'd, or even but let alone in Children, they will in a ſhort time grow headſtrong and unruly, and when they come to be men will corrupt the judgment, and turn good nature into humour, and the underſtanding into prejudice and wilfulneſs: But if they be carefully obſerved and prudently reſtrained, they may by degrees be managed and brought under government; and the inordinacy of them being prun'd away, they may prove excellent Inſtruments… of Virtue.
Therefore be careful to diſcountenance in Children any thing that looks like Rage and furious Anger, and to ſhew them the unreaſonableneſs and deformity of it. Check their longing Deſires after things pleaſant, and uſe them to frequent diſappointments in that kind; that when you think fit to gratify them they may take it for a favour, and not challenge every thing they have a mind to as their due; and by degrees may learn to ſubmit to the more prudent choice of their Parents, as being much better able to judge what is good and fit for them.
And when you ſee them at any time apt out of Fear to neglect their Duty, or to fall into any Sin, or to be tempted by telling a Lye to commit one fault to hide and excuſe another, which Children are very apt to do: The beſt Remedy of this Evil will be to plant a greater Fear againſt a leſs, and to tell them what and whom they ſhould chiefly fear; not him who can hurt and kill the Body, but Him who after He hath kill'd can deſtroy both Body and Soul in Hell.
The neglect of Children in this matter, I mean in not teaching them to govern their Paſſions, is the true cauſe why many that have proved ſincere Chriſtians when they came to be Men, have yet been very imperfect in their converſation, and their Lives have been full of inequalities and breaches, which have not only been matter of great trouble and diſquiet to themſelves, but of great ſcandal to Religion; when their light which ſhould ſhine before men is ſo often darken'd and obſcured by theſe frequent and viſible infirmities.
2dly, To the government of their Tongues. To this end teach Children Silence, eſpecially in the preſence of their Betters:: And aſſoon as they are capable of ſuch a Leſſon, let them be taught not to ſpeak but upon conſ…deration, both of what they ſay, and before whom. And above all, inculcate upon them that moſt neceſſary Duty and Vertue of ſpeaking truth, as one of the beſt and ſtrongeſt bands of Human Society and Commerce: And poſſeſs them with the baſeneſs and vileneſs of telling a Lye; for if it be ſo great a provocation to give a man the Lye, then ſurely to be guilty of that Fault muſt be a mighty Reproach.
They who write of Japan tell us that thoſe People, though mere Heathens, take ſuch an effectual courſe in the Education of their Children as to render a Lye and breach of Faith above all things odious to them: Inſomuch that it is a very rare thing for any Perſon among them to be taken in a Lye, or found guilty of breach of Faith. And cannot the Rules of Chriſtianity be render'd as effectual to reſtrain men from theſe Faults which are ſcandalous even to Nature, and much more ſo to the Chriſtian Religion?
To the Government of the Tongue does likewiſe belong the reſtraining of Children from lewd and obſcene words, from vain and profane talk; and eſpecially from horrid Oaths and Imprecations: From all which they are eaſily kept at firſt, but if they are once accuſtomed to them it will be found no ſuch eaſy matter for them to get quit of theſe evil Habits. It will require great attention and watchfulneſs over themſelves, to keep Oaths out of their common diſcourſe; but if they be heated and in paſſion, they throw out Oaths and Curſes as naturally as men that are highly provoked fling ſtones, or any thing that comes next to hand at one another: So dangerous a thing is it to let any thing that is bad in Children to grow up into a Habit.
Thirdly, As the principal and eſſential Parts of Religion and Virtue, let Children be carefully bred up,
1ſt, To Sobriety and Temperance in regard to themſelves; under which I comprehend likewiſe Purity and Chaſtity. The government of the ſenſual Appetite as to all kind of Bodily pleaſures is not only a great part of Religion, but an excellent inſtrument of it, and a neceſſary foundation of Piety and Juſtice. For he that cannot govern himſelf is not like to diſcharge his Duty either to God or Men. And therefore St. Paul puts Sobriety firſt, as a primary and principal Virtue in which men are inſtructed by the Chriſtian Religion, and which muſt be laid as the foundation both of Piety towards God, and of Righteouſneſs to Men. The Grace of God, for ſo he calls the Goſpel, that brings Salvation unto all men, hath appeared; teaching us that denying ungodlineſs and worldly luſts we ſhould live ſoberly, and righteouſly, and godly in this preſent world. It firſt teacheth us to live ſoberly; and unleſs we train up Children to this Vertue we muſt never expect that they will either live righteouſly or godly in this preſent World.
Eſpecially, Children muſt be bred up to great Sobriety and Temperance in their Diet, which will retrench the fewel of other inordinate Appetites. It is a good Saying I have met with ſomewhere, Magna pars virtutis eſt bene moratus venter, a well manner'd and well govern'd Appetite, in matter of meats and drinks, is a great part of Virtue. I do not mean, that Children ſhould be brought up according to the Rules of a Leſſian Diet, which ſets an equal ſtint to all Stomachs, and is as ſenſeleſs a thing as a Law would be which ſhould enjoin that Shooes for all Mankind ſhould be made upon one and the ſame Laſt.
2dly, To a ſerious and unaffected Piety and Devotion towards God, ſtill and quiet, real and ſubſtantial, without much ſhew and noiſe; and as free, as may be, from all tricks of Superſtition, or freaks of Enthuſiaſm; which, if Parents and Teachers be not very prudent, will almoſt unavoidably inſinuate themſelves into the Religion of Children; and when they are grown up will make them appear, to wiſe and ſober Perſons, phantaſtical and conceited; and render them very apt to impoſe their own fooliſh Superſtitions and wild Conceits upon others, who underſtand Religion much better than themſelves.
Let them be taught to honour and love God above all things, to ſerve him in private, and to attend conſtantly upon his publick Worſhip, and to keep their minds intent upon the ſeveral parts of it, without wandring and diſtraction: To Pray to God as the Fountain of all Grace and the giver of every good and perfect… gift: And to acknowledge Him and to …render Thanks to Him, as our moſt gracious and conſtant Benefactor, and the great Patron and Preſerver of our Lives: To be careful to do what He commands, and to avoid what He hath forbidden: To be always under a lively ſenſe and appreh…nſion of his pure and all-ſeeing Eye, which beholds us in ſecret: And to do every thing in obedience to the Authority of that Great Lawgiver, who is able to ſave and to deſtroy; and with an awful regard to the ſtrict and impartial Judgment of the Great Day.
3dly, To Juſtice and honeſty: To defraud and oppreſs no man; to be as good as their word, and to perform all their Promiſes and Contracts: and endeavour to imprint upon their minds the Equity of that Great Rule, which is ſo natural, and ſo eaſy, that even Children are capable of it; I mean that Rule which our B. Saviour tells us is the Law and the Prophets, namely, that we ſhould do to others as we would have others do to us if we were in their Caſe and Circumſtances, and they in ours.
You that are Parents and have to do in the World, ought to be juſt and equal in all your dealings: In the firſt place for the ſake of your own Souls, and next for the ſake of your Children: Not only that you may entail no Curſe upon the Eſtate you leave them, but likewiſe that you may teach them no Injuſtice by the Example you ſet before them; which in this particular they will be as apt to imitate as in any one thing; becauſe of the preſent worldly advantage which it ſeems to bring, and becauſe Juſtice is in truth a manly Virtue, and leaſt underſtood by Children; and therefore Injuſtice is a Vice which they will ſooneſt practiſe and with the leaſt reluctancy, becauſe they have the leaſt knowledge of it in many particular Caſes: And becauſe they have ſo little ſenſe of this great Virtue, they ſhould not be allowed to cheat, no not in play and ſport, even when they play for little or nothing: For if they practice it in that Caſe, and be unjuſt in a little, they will be much more tempted to be ſo when they can gain a great deal by it.
I remember that Xenophon in his Inſtitution of Cyrus, which he deſigned for the Idea of a well educated Prince, tells us this little but very inſtructive Story concerning young Cyrus: That his Governor, the better to make him to underſtand the nature of Juſtice, puts this Caſe to him: You ſee there, ſays he to Cyrus, two Boys playing, of different ſtature; the leſſer of them hath a very long Coat, and the bigger a very ſhort one: Now, ſays he, if you were a Judge how would you diſpoſe of theſe two Garments? Cyrus immediately, and with very good reaſon as he thought, paſſeth this ſudden Sentence, That the taller Boy ſhould have the longer Garment, and he that was of lower ſtature the ſhorter, becauſe this certainly was fitteſt for them both: Upon which his Governor ſharply rebukes him to this purpoſe; telling him, that if he were to make two Coats for them he ſaid well; but he did not put this Caſe to him as a Tailor but as a Judge, and as ſuch he had given a very wrong Sentence: For a Judge, ſays he, ought not to conſider what is moſt fit, but what is juſt; not who could make the beſt uſe of a thing, but who hath the moſt right to it.
This I bring, partly to ſhew in what familiar ways the Principles of Virtue may be inſtill'd into Children; but chiefly to prove that Juſtice is a manly Virtue, and that there is nothing wherein Children may be more eaſily miſled, than in matter of Right and Wrong: Therefore Children ſhould be taught the general Principles and Rules of Juſtice and Righteouſneſs, becauſe if we would teach them to do Juſtice we muſt teach them to know what Juſtice is. For many are unjuſt merely out of Ignorance and for want of knowing better, and cannot help it.
4thly, To Charity; I mean chiefly to the poor and deſtitute; becauſe this, as it is an eſſential ſo is it a moſt ſubſtantial Part of Religion. Now to encourage this Diſpoſition in Children we muſt not only give them the Example of it, but muſt frequently inculcate upon them ſuch Paſſages of Scripture as theſe, That pure Religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to viſit the fatherleſs and the widows in their affliction: That as we ſow in this kind, ſo we ſhall reap: That he ſhall have judgment without mercy who hath ſhewed no mercy: That at the Judgment of the Great Day we ſhall in a very particular manner be call'd to an account for the practice or omiſſion of this Duty, and ſhall then be abſolved or condemned according as we have exerciſed or neglected this great Virtue of the Chriſtian Religion.