Eight Cases of Conscience, Case 2
The CASE of Marrying with a Recusant.
SIR,
YOurs of Iuly the 2d. I Yesterday Iuly the 6th. received. In Answer to the Contents whereof (desi…ing that my Services may withal be most humbly presented to my very much Honoured Lord) I return you what my pr…sent thoughts are concerning the particulars therein proposed. First, for Marrying a Daughter to a professed Papist (considered in Thesi, and as to the point of Lawfulness only) I am so far from thinking the thing in it self to be simply, and tot… genere, unlawful; that I dare not condemn the Marriage of a Christian with a Pagan (much less with any other Christian, of how different Perswasion soever) as simply evil and unlawful, inasmuch as there be Causes imaginable, wherein it may seem not only Lawful, but expedient also, and (as the exigence of Circumstances may be supposed) little less than necessary so to inter-marry But since things lawful in the General, and in Thesi, may become (by reason of their inexpediency) unl…wful pro hic & nu…c, and in Hypothe…i to particular persons; and that the expediency or inexpediency of any action to be done, is to be measured by the worthiness of the end, the conjuncture of present Circumstances, and the probability of good or evil consequents and effects, prudentially laid together, and weighed one against another; I conceive it altogether unsafe for a Conscienc…ous person (especially in a business of so great concernment, as the Marrying of a Child) to proceed upon the General Lawfulness of the thing, without due consideration of Circumstances, and other requisites for the warranting of particular Actions. Now, as for the Marriage of a Daughter with one of so different Perswasion (in point of Religion) as, that they cannot joyn together in the same way of God's Worship, which is the case of a Protestant and a Papist, it is very rare to find such a concurrence of Circumstances, as that a man can thence be clearly satisfied in his Judgment (without just cause of doubting the contrary) that it can be expedient to conclude upon such a Marriage; and how dangerous a thing it is to do any thing without a doubting Conscience, we may learn from Rom. 14.13.. For the evil consequents probably to ensue upon such Marriages, are so many and great, that the conveniences which men may promise to themselves from the same (if they should answer expectation, as seldom they do to the full) laid in an equal ballance there-against, would not turn the scale; and in one respect the danger is greater to marry with a Papist, than with one of a worse Religion; for that the main Principle of his Religion, (as a Papist) is more destructive of the comfort of a Conjugal Society, than are the Principles of most Hereticks; yea, than those of Pagans, or Atheists; for holding that there is no Salvability but in the Church; and that none is in the Church, but such as acknowledg Subjection to the See of Rome; it is not possible, but that the Husband must needs conclude his Wife to be in the state of Damnation, so long as she continueth Protestant: whence one of these two great inconveniences will unavoidably follow; that either he will use all endeavors, engins, and artifices, to draw her to the Church of Rome, (as indeed who can blame him to bring his Wife into a capacity of everlasting Salvation?) the restless importunity whereof (together with the ill advantages they of that party can make from the sad Confusions that are amongst us in these times) it will be very hard for one of the weaker …ex perpetually to resist; or else in case she stand firm in her Religion against all Assaults and Attempts to the contrary, whatsoever he may be towards her in outward carriage, he cannot but in his inmost thoughts, pass judgment upon her, as an obstinate and desperate Heretick, and (so living and dying) an accursed and damned Creature. These are sad things both; and it is not conceivable how a Woman so matched should live with any comfort, or ever hope to see a good day, wherein …he shall not either be tempted from her Religion, or censured for it; what assurance can she have of his good affections towards her, who is bound not to permit any better opinion of her, than of a Reprobate and Cast-a-way? Is it possible there may be so much good nature in the Husband, as to take off somewhat from that rigidness, which otherwise the Principles of his Religion would bind him to, or so much discretion, sweetness, and obligingness in the Wives demeanor towards him, as to preserve a good measure of Conjugal Affection between them, notwithstanding their different Perswasions: This I say, is possible; and where it happeneth so to be, it rendereth the condition of the Parties so much the less uncomfortable; and that is the utmost of the happiness that is to be hoped for from such Marriages: and I think there cannot be produced ma…y examples thereof; yet even there, there cannot be that cordial Affection, and fulness of Complacency (wherein yet the chiefest happiness of Conjugal Society consisteth) that would be, if the same Parties (supposed to be of the same Qualifications otherwise) were also of the same Religion. I omit other oeconomical differences, that may, and very frequently do (occasionally) arise, betwixt Husband and Wife from this difference in Religion, as concerning the Entertainment of Friends, the choice of Servants the education of Children (very considerable things all) besides sundry others perhaps of less moment; yet such as are apt to breed Discontents and Jealousies, and sometimes break out into great Distempers in the Family: Such Marriages therefore I should utterly disswade; especially in the Nobility, Gentry, and Commonalty, where there is choise enough otherwise to be had of Persons of equal Degree, Estate, and Education of the same Religion to match withal: Kings and Princes for reasons of State, and because there is little choice of Persons of equal Dignity with themselves, are therefore ofte…times by a kind of necessity, put upon such Marriages; yet even there, where they are certainly the most excusable, it hath been observed, that such Marriages have proved for the most part unfortunate.
The other Particular proposed in your Letter, is concerning the Mariage of a Daughter to one that profe…eth the Protestant Religion, but having had Popish Parents, may be suspected (though he deny it) to be that way inclined. The resolution whereof (as of most other Cases, and Practical Questions) will depend very much upon the consideration of Circumstances, whereunto being altogether a stranger, I am less able to give Judgment in the Case with any certainty; only in order to the resolution of the question, these (to my understanding) seem to be the most proper and important Enquiries.
First, whether the Parents of the young Person be living or no, one or both? if both be dead, the Temptations from them (which in such Cases are wont to prevail very much) are by their Death clearly superseded; and then the danger is by so much less: but if either be living, there can be little security of the Sons continuance in the Protestants Belief, (notwithstanding his present Profession thereof) when he shall be assaulted with the whole Authority of them, to whom he oweth Reverence.
Secondly, with what degree of Confidence, and with what kind of asseverations he professeth the one, and denieth the other Religion; for although they out of design put on a counterfeit vizor, use all the art they can to dissemble it; yet very seldom can it be done so cunningly, warily, and constantly, but that at some time or other, the dissimulation will unawares bewray it self to the eye of a curious observer.
Thirdly, what measure of understanding the young Person (who is, you say, of great Abilities for his Age) hath in the Fundamental Articles of the Christian Religion; those I mean, wherein the English and Romish Churches are at agreement, for in those the substance of Christianity consisteth; he that rightly understands those Catholick Truths taught in the Catechisms of both Churches, and concerning which all Christendom (in a manner) are at a perfect accord; and then will but suffer himself to consider, that the Church of England doth not impose upon the judgments and consciences of her Members, any thing to be believed, or received, as of necessity to Salvation, than what is truly Catholick, and by her Adversaries confessed so to be; and consequently, that the difference betwixt her and the Romish Party, is wholly about those Additionals or Superstructures, which they of the Roman Faith require to be believed, and received with like necessity as the former; but appear to us of this Church respectively, either evidently false, or of doubtful truth, or not of absolute necessity to be believed: I say, whosoever well considereth this, may rest satisfied in his judgment and conscience, that the Faith taught and professed in the Church of England, is a plain and safe way to lead a Christian Believer to Eternal Salvation, if he withal lead his life and conversation answerable thereunto.
To the last particular in your Letter, all the return I have to make, is no more but an humble acknowledgment and sense of his Lordships noble favors towards me, in entertaining an opinion of me more suitable to his own goodness and ingenuity, than to my merit: I know not, nor desire to know of any occasions likely to draw me into those parts so distant from me (being grown into years, and infirmities, that render me very unfit for long Journeys) unless the business of my Sons Marriage, which occasion'd my late Journey to London, require a second thither in Michaelmas Term. But I am so sensible both of the trouble and charge of such Journeys (besides some inconveniences to my affairs at home, whilst I am long absent) that I will avoid it, unless there be no other remedy: I shall not willingly decline any employment (within my low and narrow sphere, both of outward condition and parts) wherein my service may be any waies useful, or but acceptable, to that noble and excellent Person: but truly Sir, I conceive there will be little need of my further endeavors, as to that particular expressed in yours, whether what I have written now, give satisfaction, or not; there are persons nearer hand, whom I know to be much fitter for an employment of that nature, than my self, who have ever studied Peace more than Controversies; and namely, one at the next door to Hatton-House, whose sufficiency and readiness in that kind is well known to Mr. Geoffery Palmer. Sir, I wish you Happiness, desire your Prayers, and rest,
Your Faithful and Humble Servant, Iuly, 7. 1656.