A Treatise of Family Instruction, Chapter 4 · Section 5
SECT. 5. The Plea of ſuch as neglect Family-Inſtruction becauſe their Children or Servants are hard-hearted and rebellious, anſwered.
Object. 5 Mr Children and Servants are ſo hard-hearted that nothing that I ſay unto them, takes any impreſſion upon their hearts; yea, they are ſtubborn and rebellious, oppoſite, and ready to contradict and gainſay thoſe things which I teach them out of the word of God: And to what end ſhould I trouble my ſelf to teach hard-hearted, rebellious, gainſaying perſons?
Anſw. 1. Conſider whether God be not calling your ſin to remembrance, in ſuffering your Children to be ſtubborn and refractory in their carriage towards you. As for inſtance: Did not you in your your younger days carry your ſelves in a diſobedient ſtubborn manner towards your Parents? Or have you not been ſtubborn and diſobedient in your carriage towards God your heavenly Father? Or did you not neglect inſtructing your Children, and too much indulge them in their own wills and ways whilſt they were young? Or have you not ſome other way provoked God by your ſins, to afflict you with ſtubborn and diſobedient Children? If ſo, then humble your Souls before God for your ſins, and thereby you may prevail with God to remove this puniſhment from you, and to bow and bend your Childrens hearts ſo, as they ſhall come and humble themſelves before you, and ſubmit to thoſe inſtructions which you ſhall give them out of the word of God. We know God can work wonderful changes in the hearts of men; he can make thoſe that have been an affliction to us, to come and humble themſelves before us, Iſa. 60.14. The ſons of them that afflicted thee ſhall come bending unto thee, and all they that deſpiſed thee ſhall bow themſelves down at the ſoles of thy feet. And what more likely way is there to bring this about, then for us to bow down, and ſubmit our ſelves to God?
2. The Lord vouchſafes to teach hard-hearted rebellious gainſaying perſons, Neh. 9.16, 17.20. They and our Fathers dealt proudly, and hardened their necks, and hearkened not to thy Commandments, and refuſed to obey, neither were mindful of the Wonders thou didſt among them, but hardened their necks, and in their rebellion appointed a Captain to return to their Bondage. We ſee here what a rebellious people the Iſraelites were, but did this cauſe God to give over inſtructing them? No, for it is ſaid verſ. 20. Thou gaveſt thy good ſpirit to inſtruct them. And the like we may ſee Iſa. 65.2, 3. I have ſpread out my hands all the day unto a rebellious people, which walked in a way that was not good, after their own thoughts, a people that provoketh me to anger centinually to my face.— So alſo Rom. 10.21. To Iſrael he ſaith, All day long I have ſtretched forth my hands unto a diſobedient and gainſaying people. Stretching out of the hands was uſed by thoſe that taught and inſtructed the people, Prov. 1.24. Acts 26.1. So that where the Lord ſaith, I have ſtretched forth my hands to a gainſaying and rebellious people; the meaning is, that he inſtructed them, and invited them to repentance. Now if the Lord condeſcendeth to teach a rebellious gainſaying people, ſhall we think much to teach and inſtruct our Children or Servants, becauſe they are ſtubborn and rebellious?
3. Though our Children and Servants ſhould be hard-hearted and rebellious, yet we ſhould not forbear or ceaſe to inſtruct and teach them the good word of the Lord: For,
1. This will be a means to break their hard hearts, and lead them to Repentance, and keep them from being rebellious for time to come: It will break their hearts, though they be as hard as the Rock, Jer. 23.29. Is not my word lik as a fire, ſaith the Lord, and like a Hammer that breaketh the Rock in pieces? It will be a means to lead them to repentance, though they be of ſuch a refractory ſpirit as to oppoſe the the Truth, and ſhould be ſuch ſlaves to Satan, as to be led captive by him when and to what he pleaſeth, 2 Tim. 2.24, &c. The ſervant of the Lord muſt not ſtrive, but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, in meekneſs inſtructing thoſe that oppoſe themſelves, if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth, and that they may recover themſelves out of the ſnare of the Devil, who are taken captive at his will.—It may keep them from being rebellious for time to come, Pſal. 78.5, 7, 8. He eſtabliſhed a Teſtimony in Jacob, and appointed a Law in Iſrael, which he commanded our Fathers that they ſhould make them known to their Children, that they might ſet their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, and keep his Commandments, and might not be as their Fathers a ſtubborn and rebellious Generation.
2. We ſhould ſin againſt God if we ſhould leave off teaching our Children or Servants becauſe they carry themſelves unkindly and diſobediently towards us. The people of Iſrael carried themſelves ſtubbornly and rebelliouſly both againſt God and againſt Samuel, 1 Sam. 8.7, 19. yet Samuel tells them he would not ceaſe to pray for them and to teach them, leſt he ſhould ſin againſt God, 1 Sam. 12.23. Moreover as for me, God forbid that I ſhould ſin againſt the Lord, in ceaſing to pray for you, but I will teach you the good and the right way. It is the Will and Command of God that rebellious and hard-hearted perſons ſhould be taught his Word, as we may ſee Ezek. 2.3, 4, 7. where the Lord acknowledgeth the Children of Iſrael to be rebellious, impudent, and ſtiff-hearted, and yet he ſaith to the Prophet, Thou ſhalt ſpeak my words unto them whether they will hear, or whether they will forbear, for they are moſt rebellious. And if it be Gods Command that the Rebellious ſhould be taught his Word, it muſt needs be a ſin to forbear teaching our Families, though ſome or all of them are rebellious perſons; for then we ſin, when we tranſgreſs any of the Commandments of God, 1 John 3.4. Sin is the tranſgreſſion of the Law.
3. Though our Children ſhould for the preſent rebel againſt thoſe Inſtructions and Commands which they receive from us, yet afterward they may conſider their ways, and repent, and follow thoſe Counſels and Inſtructions which we have given them. The elder Son ſpoken of in the Parable at firſt refuſed to obey his Father, but afterwards he repented and did what his Father commanded him: Matth. 21.28, 29. A certain man had two Sons, and he came to the firſt, and ſaid, Son go work to day in my Vinyard; he anſwered and ſaid, I will not; but afterwards he repented and went.
4. If your Children be hard-hearted, weep over them when you inſtruct them, that may be a means to break their hearts; Acts 21.13. What mean you to weep, and to break my heart? It is ſaid Job 14.13. The Water wear the Stones: Seeing waters will wear the ſtones, why may not you hope by your tears to diſſolve and break the ſtony hearts of your Children?