A Treatise of Family Instruction, Chapter 4 · Section 25
SECT. 25. How to deal with ſuch as refuſe Inſtruction.
Objects 25 I Would very willingly inſtruct my Family, if they were willing to be inſtructed, but my Family will not ſubmit to inſtruction; and what can I do in this caſe?
Anſw. 1. Enquire whence it comes to paſs, that God afflicts you with this ſore Judgment of rebellious Children and Servants, that will not ſubmit to inſtruction: When God makes any members of our Families prove Croſſes to us, he is uſually bringing ſome ſin to our remembrance, and chaſtiſing us for it, as hath been already hinted, Object. 5. Anſw. 1.
2. Pray to God to turn and bow their hearts to be willing to embrace inſtruction. What Solomon ſaith of the heart of a King, Prov. 21.1. The Kings heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the Rivers of Water, he turneth it whither ſoever he will. The ſame is true of the hearts of all other men, they are in the Lords hand, and he turneth and diſpoſeth of them as he pleaſeth. Though your Children or Servants ſhould be never ſo vile, perfect ſlaves to Sin and Satan, oppoſite to all that is good, God can change their hearts and make them come and ſubmit themſelves to you, and deſire to be inſtructed by you in thoſe things that concern their ſalvation, Rev. 3.9. Behold I will make them of the Synagogue of Satan,—behold I will make them to come and worſhip before thy feet.—What a great and ſudden change did God work on the Jayler's heart? Before God touched his heart, he dealt harſhly and ruggedly with the Apoſtles, He thruſt them into the inner priſon, and made their feet faſt in the ſtocks, Acts 16.24. but when God came to awaken him, before one night had paſſed over his head, he was ſo altered that he came trembling, and fell down at the Apoſtles feet, and deſired to be inſtructed what courſe he ſhould take to ſave his ſoul, verſ. 29, 30. He called for a light, and ſprang in, and came trembling, and fell down before Paul and Silas, and brought them out & ſaid, Sirs, what muſt I do to be ſaved?
3. After you have prayed to God, watch your opportunities, wherein it is moſt probable they will liſten to you, as in ſickneſs, or when they are under ſome other affliction, or in a great ſtorm of Thunder and Lightning, or under any other awakening Providence, and when you find them in a tractable frame, deal effectually with them, ſet home upon their hearts the greatneſs of their ſin, in refuſing inſtruction, and to that end put them in mind of theſe Scriptures, Prov. 1.24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 31. & 15.32. Jer. 6.8.
In times of diſtreſs God is wont to open mens ears to diſcipline, which are ſhut againſt good counſel in the day of proſperity; Job 36.8, 10. If they be holden in the cords of affliction, he openeth their ear to diſcipline. When there were mighty thundrings and lightnings in the Land of Egypt, Pharaoh though he was a man of a hard heart, ſent for Moſes and Aaron, and humbled himſelf for his ſins, and deſired their prayers, Exod. 9.27, 28. The Prophet Jeremiah likeneth unruly perſons that will not liſten to and obey ſuch Inſtructions as are given them out of the word, unto the wild Aſs, Jer. 2.24. A wild Aſs uſed to the Wilderneſs, that ſnuffeth up the wind at her pleaſure, in her occaſion who can turn her away? All they that ſeek her, will not weary themſelves: In her month they ſhall find her. As the wild Aſs that is uſed to the wilderneſs wanders up and down at her pleaſure, and cannot be tamed till her month come; that is, till ſhe grows big with young, and is weary and heavy pained with the burden that ſhe carries, and then it is eaſie to find her out, and deal with her. So it is with ſome ſinners, though they be as wild and as unruly as the Aſs that is uſed to the Wilderneſs, and there is no turning of them whilſt they are in their proſperity, and when they have their occaſions and opportunities of ſinning; yet when their month comes, when they are burdened with afflictions, and involved in ſuch ſtreights & difficulties, that they cannot tell what to do to wind out of them, then it is eaſie having acceſs to them. Wherefore if you have unruly Servants, or unruly Children, watch your ſeaſons to deal with them; and when God ſtrikes fear and terrour into their hearts by any providence, do you ſtrike in with your inſtruction.
4. If you cannot do any good to them by inſtruction, endeavour to win them to Chriſt by a pious, heavenly, exemplary converſation. There is great force in a godly converſation, to gain upon ſuch perſons as ſtand out againſt and ſhew much oppoſition to the word of God, 1 Pet. 3.1. Likewiſe ye Wives be in ſubjection to your own Husbands; that if any obey not the Word, they alſo may without the Word be won by the converſation of the Wives.
5. Deſire ſome godly Miniſters to deal with them, if you cannot prevail with them your ſelves to ſubmit to inſtruction. It may be God will bleſs the Counſel, the Reproof, the Exhortations that his Miniſters ſhall give your Children and Servants, if you make known your cafe to them, and deſire them to deal with your Families, and to convince them out of Gods word that it is their duty, and will conduce much unto their good, to ſubmit to inſtruction. It is ſaid of John Baptiſt, who was one of Chriſts Miniſters, Luke 1.17. He ſhall go before him in the ſpirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the Fathers to the Children, and the Diſobedient to the wiſdom of the Juſt. And the like is promiſed Mal. 4.6. He ſhall turn the hearts of the Fathers to the Children, and the hearts of the Children to the Fathers, leſt I come and ſmite the Earth with a Curſe. And what was promiſed to John the Baptiſt, the ſame good effect may we expect from the endeavours of other godly Miniſters, namely, that God will bleſs their labours to the converſion of our Children.
6. If they be your Children that refuſe to be inſtructed, correct them. The Rod may do that which words will not do. Solomon adviſeth to apply the Rod to ſuch as are fools, Prov. 26.3. — A Rod for the fools back. Now if you would know whom he accounts fools, you ſhall find they are ſuch as refuſe and deſpiſe inſtruction, Prov. 15.5. A fool deſpiſeth his fathers inſtruction: And Prov. 1.7. Fools deſpiſe wiſdom and inſtruction. Now the Rod of Correction will fetch this folly out of the hearts of your Children, Prov. 22.15. If they be your Servants that refuſe inſtruction, as ſoon as you can with a good conſcience, diſmiſs them from your ſervice. David's care was to get good Servants, and if any of them proved vitious, and would not be reclaimed, he caſt them out of his Family, Pſal. 101.6, 7. Mine eyes ſhall be upon the faithful of the Land, that they may dwell with me; he that walketh in a perfect way, he ſhall ſerve me; he that worketh deceit, ſhall not dwell within my Houſe; he that telleth lies, ſhall not tarry in my ſight. Imitate this example of David, get godly Servants, or at leaſt endeavour to make them godly after they are come under your Roof; and if they be ſuch as will not be inſtructed and reformed, remove them; and make this Covenant with all that you ſhall admit for time to come, That they ſubmit unto inſtruction.