A Treatise of Family Instruction, Chapter 3 · Section 15
SECT. 15. How to inſtil Grace into the Ʋnconverted. What Counſel to give to ſuch as profit by our Inſtructions. How to deal with ſuch as do not profit by our Inſtructions. How with ſuch as reſt in a Form of Godlineſs. How with ſuch as are in a declining condition.
Direct. 15 ACcording to the ſtate and condition that you find your Family to be in, apply your inſtruction ſuitable to the caſe of the ſeveral Members thereof: As for inſtance:
Firſt, If you find any of your Children or Servants to be in an unconverted condition, endeavour as far as in you lieth to inſtil Grace into their hearts, and to convert them to God; Pſal. 34.16. Come ye Children, hearken unto me, I will teach you the fear of the Lord. We ſhould not only teach our Children to know the Lord, but we muſt alſo teach them to fear the Lord. It may be you will ſay, Can we inſtil Grace into our Children? Can we put the fear of God into their hearts? Can we give them Repentance? I anſwer, No; but we may uſe the means, and in ſo doing we may hope for Gods bleſſing.
If you ask,
What means ſhould we uſe to inſtil Grace into, and convert ſuch of our Families as are in a graceleſs unconverted condition?
I anſwer:
1. Warn them of the danger of a graceleſs unconverted condition; tell them, That except they be converted, they cannot enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, Mat. 18.3. and that if they do not repent, they will moſt certainly periſh, & be caſt into everlaſting burnings, Luk. 13.3. Mat. 13.41, 42. And therefore warn them often of the danger of living and dying in an impenitent condition. Warning perſons of the danger and damnable nature of ſin, is an effectual means to prevent their dying in their ſins, and to bring them to repentance and ſalvation: 2 Chron. 19.10. Ye ſhall warn them that they treſpaſs not againſt the Lord: Ezek. 3.21. He ſhall ſurely live becauſe he is warned, Ezek. 33.5. He that taketh warning ſhall deliver his Soul. If you find that after many warnings there is no amendment, yet ceaſe not to warn them day after day, and year after year, and that with much tenderneſs, till you ſee ſome fruit of your labours, Act. 20.31. By the ſpace of three years I ceaſed not to warn every one night and day with tears.
2. Take all occaſions to diſcourſe with them about the things of God, eſpecially of thoſe things wherein you have formerly inſtructed them out of the Word of God. Good Diſcourſe is a means of conveying Grace to thoſe with whom we converſe; Epheſ. 4.29. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the uſe of edifying, that it may miniſter Grace to the Hearers.
3. Reprove them when they do that which is contrary to the Will of God; and if Reproofs will not make them reform, joyn Correction with Reproof: Reproof and Correction are means of inſtilling grace into our Children: Prov. 29.15. The Rod and Reproof give Wiſdom.
4. Stir them up to conſider their ways, how contrary they are to the Word of God, and what will be the fruit and effect of their ſins, if they repent not. A ſerious conſideration of our ways, is a means of leading us to repentance, Pſal. 119.59. I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy Teſtimonies: Ezek. 18.28. Becauſe he conſidereth and turneth away from all his tranſgreſſions.
5. Stir them up to read and meditate upon the Word of God, that may be a means of converting their Souls; Pſal. 19.7. The Law of the Lord is perfect, converting the Soul.
6. Cauſe them to attend upon the Publick Miniſtry of the Word: The preaching of the Word is the uſual means of working Grace in our hearts, Jam. 1.18. Of his own Will begat he us with the Word of Truth, Acts 10.44. While Peter yet ſpake theſe words, the holy Ghoſt fell on all them which heard the Word.
7. Exhort them to forſake ungodly company, and to walk and converſe with them that fear God, Prov. 9.6. Forſake the fooliſh and live, and walk in the way of underſtanding: Prov. 13.20. He that walketh with wiſe men ſhall be wiſe.
8. Be earneſt with God to give them ſaving Grace: By prayer to God, we may obtain Grace for others, as well as for our own Souls: 1 John 5.16. If any man ſee his Brother ſin a ſin which is not unto death, he ſhall ask, and he ſhall give him life, for them that ſin not unto death.
Secondly, If upon diſcourſing with your Families you find they profit by the Inſtructions you give them, and that they obey from the heart that Form of Doctrine which you deliver to them, and that they grow in Grace, and in the knowledge of JESUS CHRIST: Then,
1. Be thankful to God for bleſſing your Labours, Rom. 6.17. God be thanked that ye were the Servants of ſin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of Doctrine which was delivered you.
2. Love the Lord for cauſing your Family to flouriſh and proſper by thoſe inſtructions that you give them: Cant. 7.11, 12. Come my Beloved,—let us go up early to the Vineyards, let us ſee if the Vine flouriſh, whether the tender Grape appear, and the Pomegranates bud forth; there will I give thee my loves. Our Families may be compated to Vineyards; the Wife is reſembled by the Pſalmiſt to a Vine, and the Children to Olive-Plants, Pſal. 128.3. The Governour of the Family is placed in this Vineyard as Adam was in Eden, to dreſs it and to keep it: Now ſuch of us as are made keepers of Vineyards, ſhould be often looking whether the Vine flouriſh, whether the tender Grape appear; and when we go about this work, we ſhould call to CHRIST, to go with us, and aſſiſt us: And if we find any Grapes, though they be but tender; yea, if we perceive but any Buds, any thing that gives us hope of Fruit, we ſhould give the Lord JESUS not only our love, but our loves; that is, we ſhould love him abundantly; for 'tis He that gives a Bleſſing to our Labours; 1 Cor. 3.6. I have planted, Apollo watered, but God gave the increaſe.
3. Exhort them to look to themſelves, that they do not loſe what you have by Gods Bleſſing wrought in them, that ſo neither you nor they may loſe your Reward; 2 John 8. Look to your ſelves, that ye loſe not thoſe things which we have wrought, but that we may receive a full Reward. When Jeſus ſaw ſome of the Jews believing, he exhorted and incouraged them to continue in his word; John 8.30, 31. As he ſpake theſe words, many believed on him; then ſaid Jeſus to thoſe Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my Diſciples indeed.
4. Endeavour to make them more Fruitful. Thus God dealeth with his Children that bring forth fruit; he teacheth and helpeth them to bring forth more Fruit, John 15.2. Every Branch that beareth Fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more Fruit. The more fruitful any Chriſtian is, the more glory he bringeth to God: verſ. 8. Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit.
5. Direct them to the right end in bearing Fruit, which is not any ſelfiſh intereſt; for that Fruit which is brought forth for ſelfiſh ends, is in Gods account as good as none; Hoſ. 10.1. Iſrael is an empty Vine, he bringeth forth fruit unto himſelf. The glorifying and pleaſing God, is that which we muſt aim at in our bearing fruit; Rom. 7.4. That we ſhould bring forth fruit unto God.
6. Endeavour that they may bring their fruit to perfection; and to that end, put them in mind that it is the will of God that we ſhould not only labour to be holy, but that we ſhould labour to perfect holineſs in the fear of God, 2 Cor. 7.1. And caution them againſt thoſe things which do hinder the ſeed of the Word from growing to perfection, as the cares of this life, pleaſures, unmortified luſts, Luke 8.14. Mark 4.19. Keeping company with men of corrupt minds and corrupt converſations, 1 Cor. 15.33. Be not deceived, evil communications corrupt good manners. Giving heed to ſuch as teach falſe Doctrine, will endanger their overthrow, and prove deſtructive to them, 1 Tim. 4.1. Now the Spirit ſpeaketh expreſly, that in the latter times ſome ſhall depart from the faith, giving heed to ſeducing Spirits— Seducers are thoſe Foxes that ſpoil the Vine that hath tender Grapes, againſt whom the Church prays, Cant. 2.15. Take us the Foxes, the little Foxes that ſpoil the Vines, for our Vines have tender Grapes.
7. Counſel them well to conſider into what Families they diſpoſe themſelves, when God ſhall by his providence remove them out of your Family; That they do not for the gaining of more wages, or eaſier work, put themſelves into ſuch Families where they ſhall have no inſtruction; leſt that good Work which is begun in them ceaſe, and come to nothing: While Jehoaſh was inſtructed, he did that which was right in the ſight of the Lord, 2 Kings 12.2. Jehoaſh did that which was right in the ſight of the Lord all his days, wherein Jehoiada the Prieſt inſtructed him: But when Jehoiada that inſtructed him was dead, Jehoaſh fell into Idolatry, and other great ſins: 2 Chron. 24.17, 18, 19, 21.
8. If any of the Members of your Family do find that God hath done their Souls good by the Inſtructions that you have given them, counſel and exhort them by way of gratitude, if ever God ſhall give them Families, to teach and train up their Families in the knowledge of Gods Word.
Thirdly, If upon communing with your Families, you find they have gotten no good by thoſe Inſtructions and godly Leſſons which you have given them: Then,
1. Inform them what a great ſin, and how dangerous it is, to enjoy great means of Grace, and to remain graceleſs and barren under them. Heb. 6.7.8. The Earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it, and bringeth forth herbs meet for them by whom it is dreſſed, receiveth bleſſing from God; but that which beareth Thorns and Bryars is rejected, and is nigh unto curſing, whoſe end is to be burned. Matth. 3.10. And now alſo the Ax is laid to the Root of the Trees, therefore every Tree which bringeth not forth good fruit, is hewn down, and is caſt into the fire.
2. See whence their unprofitableneſs proceeds, whether the cauſe of it be in your ſelves, that you teach them things that are too high for them, or that you do not make things plain to their underſtandings, or that you do not teach them by your Example as well as Doctrine, or that yo do not water your Seed that you ſow, with your Prayers and tears, or that you teach them ſo ſeldom, or in ſuch a ſlight manner. Or whether the cauſe of their unprofitableneſs be in themſelves; as their not minding what you teach them, their forgetfulneſs, &c. And where-ever the ground of their unprofitableneſs lieth, endeavour to get it removed.
3. Direct them what means they ſhould uſe, that they may profit by what you teach them: as, 1. To look up to the Lord who alone can teach them to profit, Iſa. 48.17. 2. To mingle the Word of God with faith, Heb. 4.2. 3. To meditate often on thoſe things wherein they are inſtructed: Meditation on the Word of God will be a great help to their profiting both in knowledge and grace: 1 Tim. 4.15. Meditate on theſe things—that thy profiting may appear unto all.
Fourthly, If upon diſcourſing with them, you find they reſt in a form of Godlineſs, and have only a notional knowledge of the word of God, without the favour and practice of thoſe Truths that you have taught them: Then,
1. Inform them that knowledge without practice will never make them happy: Joh. 13.17. but will aggravate their condemnation, and cauſe God to beat them with many ſtripes, Luk. 12.47. And that the form of Godlineſs will profit them nothing, but the life and power of Godlineſs will be profitable for all things, and give them an intereſt in all Gods promiſes, whether they concern this life, or the life to come, 1 Tim. 4.8.
2. Direct them what means they ſhould uſe, that they may not only have a barren and unfruitful notional knowledge of the things of God, but that they may reliſh, ſavour and practiſe what they know. As namely, 1. Exhort them to get Faith, Temperance, Patience, Godlineſs, Brotherly Kindneſs, and Charity: The Apoſtle having ſpoken of theſe Graces, ſaith, (2 Pet. 1.8.) If theſe things be in you, and abound, they make you that you ſhall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jeſus Chriſt. 2. Exhort them to plead Gods Covenant, where God hath promiſed not only to put his Laws into our minds, that is, to give us the knowledge and remembrance of his will, but alſo to write them in our hearts; that is, to incline our wills to embrace, love, and obey his Laws; Heb. 8.10. I will put my Laws into their minds, and write them in their hearts.
3. Stir them up to cry unto God who hath taught them to know his will, to encline their hearts to do his will, and to keep his Commandments: Pſal. 119.36. Incline mine heart unto thy Teſtimonies: Pſal. 143.10. Teach me to do thy will.
Fifthly, If you find any of your Family in a declining withering condition:
1. Warn them betimes of the evil of a decaying declining frame of ſpirit. The Church of Epheſus had many things for which Chriſt gives her great commendations, Rev. 2.2, 3. yet having loſt her firſt love, he gives her a ſharp rebuke, verſ. 4.
2. Exhort them to remember whence they are fallen, and to repent and do their firſt works, leſt God ſend ſome ſudden and ſore Judgment upon them, Rev. 2.5.
3. Stir them up to act their faith upon ſuch promiſes where God hath promiſed to heal our backſlidings and reſtore our ſouls, and to recover us from a decayed frame of ſpirit, by cauſing us to grow in grace; as, Hoſ. 14.4, 5. I will heal their backſlidings, I will love them freely—I will be as the dew unto Iſrael, he ſhall be as the Lilly, and caſt forth his roots as Lebanon. This promiſe is made unto Iſrael, that was fallen into great decay: Verſ. 1. O Iſrael, thou haſt fallen by thine iniquity: Iſrael was ſo far fallen, that God complains, O Iſrael, thou haſt deſtroyed thy ſelf: Yet to Iſrael, that was fallen thus low, God promiſeth to heal their back-ſlidings, and to love them freely, and to be as the dew to them, and to cauſe them to grow as the Lily.