The Spiritual Chemist, Meditations · Meditation 44
Meditation XLIV. VponUpon a Phyſicians feeling the Pulſe.
HOw often and how exactly do Phyſicians feel the Pulſe of their Patients? Not a day paſſeth without a ſtrict obſervation of the motions that it makes, according unto which they judge both of the greatneſs and danger of the diſtemper, and what the Iſſues are like to be both in reſpect of life and death. They do not as other Viſitors, ask the Patient how he doth, but inform him rather how he is, and from the report which they make of his malady, his fears and hopes are the more or leſs. And yet how rarely do they feel their own pulſe, who are ſo ſeemingly anxious about anothers? Daies, Weeks, Months do Elapſe, and paſs away without any ſuch ſtudious heeding of themſelves, as they continually in their profeſſion Exerciſe towards others. And yet happily in ſo doing they are as the Prieſts in the Temple, who (as our Saviour ſaith) prophane the Sabbath and are blameleſs. But they occaſion me to think of the practiſe of many, who cannot ſo eaſily be acquitted; Such who are ſevere obſervers of other mens waies and actions, and as great neglectors of their own; who are far more glad that they can eſpy a fault in others, than grieved that it is committed: who preſume to look into the breaſt, and to diſcover how the Affections, which are the pulſe of the ſoul, do bear and work in every duty. In ſome they miſlike the heat of their Zeal, as too much reſembling an high and vehement pulſe, whoſe ſtrength and quickneſs comes not from health, but from a Feaver. In others they condemn lukewarmneſs, an indifferency, whoſe affections they judge to be as a weak and ſlow pulſe, or as the Spring of a Watch that is wellnigh down, which Clicks and moves very faintly. In ſome again they obſerve an inequality in their Profeſſion, which is accompanied with frequent ſtands and pauſes that they make; like Aſthmatical and ſhortbreathed perſons, they run a while and blow longer, before they can move again. And upon theſe they look with as ſad a countenance as a Phyſician doth upon his Patient that hath a falſe and intermitting pulſe. Few or none can be found to eſcape their cenſure, who obſerve the failings of others, as ſome ancient Criticks did the imperfect Verſes of Homer, which they learned by heart, not at all regarding the many good. But what can be more contrary to the Law and rule of Chriſtianity than ſuch practiſes? How many Prohibitions are gone out of the Court of Heaven to ſtay ſuch irregular proceedings? Are we not by Chriſt forbid to judge that we be not judged? To judge nothing before the time untill the Lord come? And yet what if any man could know the true temper of the affections of others, as fully as a Phyſician c…n diſtinguiſh a well & a ſick pulſe, would this knowledg be any advantage unto him while he is both ignorant and regardleſs of his own eſtate? Would he thereby find ſuch joy and comfort in himſelf, as he that by an impartial examination of himſelf can diſcover the truth and ſincerity of his own heart to Chriſt, though he can ſay nothing of others? Surely this man, as the hungry, would be filled with good things, when the other, as the rich, ſhould be ſent empty away. He, as the humble Publican, would be juſtified, when the other, as the proud Phariſee, ſhould be condemned. Let others then, Phyſician like, ſtudy the condition of others, I ſhall look upon it as my duty, and make it my work, not to find out what others are, but what I am in regard of my unfained love and affection unto Chriſt, who hath tranſcendently merited my love, though I am wholly unworthy of his. Eraſiſtratus is famed in Hiſtory for diſcovering the love of Antiochus to his Mother-in-law which ſhame forced him to conceal, by the motion of his pulſe, which he obſerved to move differently in her preſence from what it did at other times. O how happy ſhould I deem my ſelf if I could find the pulſe of my affections alwaies working more quick and lively in me whenever I behold my Saviour preſent in the feaſt of love, in which he is pleaſed not only to let me ſee him, but to enjoy him; or when I hear his name mentioned in a duty, or when I read his name written in his Word, which is therefore the ſweeter becauſe his name is ſo often in it; but I have cauſe to be aſhamed at the uneven temper of my heart, which diſcovers it ſelf in thoſe intermiſſions of love and affection that I too often labour under; how often am I chill and cold in the ſame duty? At what poor trifles do I often ſtick, when my love to him ſhould bluſh at the name of difficulty? Can I ever do, or ſuffer for him too much, whoſe perfections render him wholly uncapable of being loved too much? If I were melted in the Flames and Ardors of Divine Love, might I not ſay ſtill there are degrees and intentions of heat, which I want, and others have? Chriſtians ſhould be the rivalls of Seraphims; whoſe Name expreſſeth them to be of a flaming Nature, and whoſe Imployment, in Iſaiahs Myſterious Viſion, is to cry one to another holy, holy, holy Lord God of hoſts: he is the object to which thoſe Flames that warm them do aſpire and tend. O that my heart, like the Prophets Lips, were touched by ſome Seraphim, that I might love Chriſt, which is the beſt of Duties, with an heart flaming with the Fire of Heavenly Love, which is the beſt of tempers.