The Spiritual Chemist, Meditations · Meditation 17
Meditation XVII. VponUpon a Chancery Bi…l.
ONe cauſe and original can have but one orderly and genuine birth, elſe what means our Saviours queſtion, Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thiſtles? Or that of S…. James, Doth a fountain at the ſame place ſend forth water ſweet and bitter? May it not then juſtly be the opinion and mind of many, that the leaſt fruit of any holy Meditation can never grow from ſuch a bramble of Contention as a Chancery Bill? And that from ſuch a ſpring of Marah, a ſweet and delightful ſtream can never iſſue? Yea, who will not be ready to take up Nathanaels queſtion, Can any good thing come out of Nazareth? And then what better anſwer can I return to ſuch than Philips, Come and ſee? And now let me ſay what I have often thought, That between ſuch a Bill and moſt mens Confeſſions of ſin in prayer, in which they implead themſelves to God, there is too great a likeneſs in this reſpect, that the complaints in both have more of courſe and form than truth and reality. In the one it is Mos curiae, the uſage and cuſtome of the Court for the Plaintiffe to pretend Fraud, Rapines, Combinations, Concealments done and made to the prejudice of his right, which yet he never intends to prove againſt the Defendant, but only to make uſe of as a ground of inquiry. And is it not thus alſo in the other? Are there not in Prayer large Catalogues and Enumerations of ſin, which many charge themſelves with before God, as if it were their great work to juſtifie God in their ſelf condemnation? Pride, Wantonneſs, Hypocricy, Contumacy, are the black, ſhall I ſay, or Scarlet ſins, that are among others inſtanced in? And yet what other thing is intended by them than to make up the outſide of a Prayer? Theſe ſins are only placed in it, as dark ſhadows in a Picture to ſet it off with more advantage, and to commend it rather to men than to God. In the doing of the duty they think not in the leaſt the worſe of themſelves for what they ſay againſt themſelves, nor would have others ſo to do; elſe how comes it to paſs, that in charging themſelves ſo deeply at Gods Tribunal, there is as little appearance of ſhame or ſorrow in their face, as there was of a Cloud in the Heavens when Elijahs Servant returned this Anſwer, that there was nothing? Now though it be no part either of my work or purpoſe to juſtifie or condemn the practiſes of humane Judicatories, which admit looſe ſuggeſtions, that are Arrows ſhot at random, becauſe that now and then they ſerve for a diſcovery: Yet I cannot but condemn and abhor that the confeſſion of ſin in prayer ſhould be as ſlight and overly as the complaints of a Chancery Bill, and that particular ſins ſpecified in it, and aggravated with hainous Circumſtances, ſhould be no other than things of courſe, done rather to lengthen out the duty then affect the heart; to diſcover quickneſs of Parts rather then truth of grace. What is this but to make Prayer i… ſelf, which ſhould be as ſweet Incenſe burning upon the Golden Altar, to be as an Offering of Sulpher, or Aſſafaetida? What is this but to mock God, the great ſearcher of the heart, with vain words, and to publiſh to the World how little they fear his anger, or vallue his pardon? for if the Confeſſion of Sin be formal, how can the ſeeking of forgiveneſs be real? O holy Lord preſerve me from ſuch hypocriſie, and remember not what in this kind I have been guilty of: my deſire is to judg my ſelf, not in word, but in truth, and unfeignedly to beg, that I, who am in the court of thy juſtice wholly inexcuſable, may in the Chancery of thy Mercy become altogether inaccuſable.