An Earnest Call to Family Religion, Text (6 of 6)

An Earnest Call to Family Religion · Text (6 of 6)

p. 262But insisth much among them upon that Life which is to come, that will know no end, but hath an Eternal duration. O, Eternity, Eternity, maist thou strike us all with astonishment, and fill our Souls with an aweful regard. There will be another state into which we must every one pass at death, that will be unalterable, a state that is altogether a stranger to hope, or to fear, that will know nothing to abate its sorrows, or to lessen its comforts; that p. 263hath either Meridian brightness without any obscuring shade, or scorching Flames without the least refreshing drop; such a state as will be either inconceivably Happy, or unspeakbly Miserable, and that to all everlasting. The Blessed shall from their heighth of Bliss look down without any danger of falling, and the Damned shall in their Abyss of Misery and Woe look up without any possibility of rising. So Abraham told the Rich Glutton in Hell, Between us and you there is a great gulf fixed, so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot, neither can they pass to us that would come from thence.

Now as there is a double end, so there is a double way leading to them. That way which leads to Life is a narrow way, and the Gate strait, there is not room enough for a Man and his Lusts, Nature must be curb'd, and the Flesh Crucified, and the Body kept under, and self denied. That way which leads to Hell is broad, and the Gate wide; there a Man may take with him his Sins, and his Pleasures, he may fare deliciously every day, and be wicked every day; he may live without God in the World, and have Fellowship with Devils, and fulfil the Wills of the Flesh. He need not care what he doth, who doth not care what becomes of him. Well, assure them of this, that Sin ushers in Misery, and the ways of Sin go down to death, its steps take hold of Hell; but a Life of Holiness and Duty, a Life of Faith and Obedience to God carrieth to Heaven and the Happiness above. Mark the perfect Man, and behold the upright; see the last of him, for the end of that man is peace: Though the way have its difficulties, an up-hill way that calls for great pains and labour; though it be hedg'd up with Thorns, and lin'd with Enemies, yet it hath a good end. The good Servant that Trades with his Talent, minds p. 264his business, and is faithful in his little, shall be made Ruler over much; and when he hath finished his work enter into the Joy of his Lord. The Reward will be sure and great, what will both issue in abundant satisfaction, and raise the highest admirings; so that the glorified Soul shall think, and say as David did upon another account, O Lord, who and what are all my services, and what my Fathers house, that thou hast brought me hitherto.

Bring them by degrees to understand something of what it is to behold God's Face in Righteousness, and to be satisfied with his Likeness; to lye at the Fountain-head of Happiness, and to delight ones self in the bottomless, boundless Ocean of Goodness. How pleasant it will be to reflect upon the troubles of the past Life, the violent Storms they past thorough, the scorns and abuses of a foolish and mad World, the rage and fury of wicked, unreasonable Men, and what a change is made; how ill it was, how well it is; how sweet it must needs be to be above the reach of all sorrows and wants, of all Enemies and fears, and to be incompast, feasted fill'd with the best and choicest delights. What a priviledge will it be to sit down as welcom Guests with Abraham, Isaac and Iacob in the Kingdom of God at a Feast of Glory, there to take your fill of Love to all Eternity, when you shall see so many shut out? What an Honour will it be to sit upon Christ's Throne? How easie to lye in the Bosom of Abraham? How comfortable to be ever with the Lord? How infinitely is this beyond all the Pleasures that Sin can afford its Votaries, beyond having the Belly filled with hid Treasures? Will you do this, you that are Governours of Families? Oh! How good is it! How much your Duty, and how much good may you do! This is the way to render p. 265them serious and thoughtful, the way to make Sin odious and abominable to them, so that they shall not desire to taste of those Dainties, this is the way to commend Godliness and Religion to them, so that they shall be like the Chariots of Amminadab; this also is the way to blunt the edge, and break the force of a Temptation, when it would at any time draw them away from God, and take them off from the performance of that duty which they owe unto him. I will here add these two things, and desire you to put them in practice, in order to the rendering these Instructions or Teachings the more effectual.

First; Go over with these things again and again; and insist much upon them; yea, though they be unwilling to hear, yet be not you weary of speaking; nay, though they cast your words behind their Backs, do you still follow them with more. The Prophet Ezekiel was to continue speaking to the People of Israel, though they were a Rebellious House, nor might he be silent till God shut up his Mouth, and struck him Dumb; so must you do with your Families; though they be dull and slow to learn, yet teach; though they be obstinate and stiff necked, yet counsel and perswade; let there be frequent repetitions of the same Truths, and the same Advice, and the same Arguments. Gutta cavat lapidem. Drops of Rain often falling make an impression upon a Stone. Immortal Souls are so exceeding precious, that the gaining, the saving of one is worth the labour of a Life. How long did God wait upon you? And how often did he speak to you before you would hear; do you the like to yours. As Children must be often fed, so they must be often taught. Precept must be upon Precept, and Line upon Line, here a little and there a little.

The understandings of young ones are weak, and p. 266therefore you must deal with them in all plainness, and by degrees. They are like narrow mouth'd Bottles, not receptive of much at a time, and you cannot pour in much at once, but by little and little. Drop in Truths, Counsels, and Instructions into them according to their ability to receive them. Their Memories also are labil and slippery, too tenacious of bad things, but not of the best, like Sieves that let the Flower go, and only retain the Bran; as they are not capable of receiving much at once, so but weak in keeping that which they have received. The Apostle saw cause of writing thus to the Hebrews, Ye have forgotten the Exhortation which speaks to you as unto Children, Heb. 12.5. It is certain there is too much of this to be found among Men, grown Men, yea, grown Saints; we read the Word, and forget what we read; we hear Sermons, and forget the Sermons we hear, we forget the Promises we make, and the Mercies we receive, and the Experiences we have had of the power, care, and goodness of God. Men and Women are apt to forget Truths, Precepts, Counsels and Exhortation; we did stand in need of an Ordinance; the blessed Sacrament to put us in mind of Christ himself; and it is no wonder then if young ones be so, their Memories are leaking Vessels, and those impressions which are made upon their Minds and Affections do quickly wear out again; and therefore there is an absolute necessity of our going over with the same things again; upon this account, as well as that of the backwardness and great natural aversness of their wills from that which is good, daily Instructions are as needful for them as their daily Bread.

Secondly; Back your holy Instructions with holy Exhortations; and let all your gracious Counsels be followed and prest upon them with earnest perswasions p. 267and intreaties, and so give forth and accompany the light with a due measure of heat, by that means endeavouring to work upon their Hearts as well as upon their Heads, that you may bring them to the knowledge of the Truth, yea, and to a receiving it in the love thereof; to an understanding of the way wherein they ought to go, and likewise to a sincere desire and fixed resolution, through Divine Assistance of walking therein. Whatsoever there is of wholesom and gracious Counsel which you apply to them, be sure to chafe it in with a warm Hand; it is sad to think how coldly some Ministers preach, so that their Auditors may sit and freeze under them; and also how some speak of God, and the things of God in their Houses, as if they were not concerned in them, or rather, as if they were ashamed of them; do you so discourse of these things, as become those who believe your selves, and are affected your selves, and do-know the Terrours of the Lord, and are indeed in good earnest; do what you can to convince them of these two things.

First; That you have an high esteem and valuation of Religion, and all that appertains and belongs to it. The Truths of God, and the Ordinances of God, and the Day of God, and the Ways of God, that you do not look upon these things as trivial matters, of none, or but little importance, but of a more excellent nature and higher concernment than any thing else in the World. Again, manage these Exhortations with so much prudence, love, and fervour, as that they may be convinced.

Secondly; That you are really and heartily set for the doing of them good; and that your great aim is as the approving of your selves to God in the consciencious and faithful discharge of your duty, so the doing of them good, and the promoting of the Spiritual p. 268and Eternal welfare of their Souls; and herein imitate David's example in the counselling of his Son Solomon, 1 Chron. 28.9. And thou Solomon my Son, know thou the God of thy Father, and serve him with a perfect heart, and with a willing mind, for the Lord searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts; if thou seek him he will be found of thee, but if thou forsake him he will cast thee off for ever. So much may suffice to be by me spoken as to these parts of your duty, Family-Prayer, and Family-Instruction; the good Lord grant that what hath been declared and proved to be your duty may be forthwith and always put in practice by every one whose duty it is.

I now proceed to the third part of that Counsel which I purposed and promised to give unto you who are the Parents and Governours of Families; and Oh! let it be acceptable to you, and prevalent with you. It is this, Look wisely and carefully to your own Carriages and Conversations, and be sure that you order them aright; be circumspect, curious, exact, think not that you may do what you please, but labour to do what you should; what becomes both your place and your profession; in Psal. 123.2. the Prophet speaks of the Eyes of Servants looking to the hands of their Masters, and the Eyes of a Maiden looking unto the hand of her Mistress, for direction and supply, for help and assistance. I may likewise say, the Eyes both of Children and of Servants are and will be upon the Lives and Actions of their Father and Mother, of their Master and Mistress, and therefore your Eyes should be very much upon your selves, and I count it your wisdom and duty to weigh the words you speak in their hearing, and the actions you do in their sight, as well as in the hearing and sight of any other graver and greater Persons. p. 269Never think it enough to speak to them good things, as long as you set before them bad examples; for they will sooner do as you do than as you say. Praecepta docent, exempla trahunt; Precepts do but teach, Examples draw. This was Christ's manner of teaching, he said, Learn of me, for I am meek and lowly. Learn this by my Doctrine, yea, and by my Disposition also; in his Mind, Life and Death, he sets us an example that we should tread in his steps; and since that was his way of teaching it should be ours. That was a good saying, Oh! that it were at this day true of all those upon whom the Name of God is called. Non magna loquimur sed magna vivimus; we do not only speak great things, but we live great things; we speak of Christ, and we live Christ; we speak of the Gospel, and we live the Gospel; we profess Godliness, yea, and we practice Godliness; know for certain, it is your practising that which is good, that is the best and most probable way of commending it to others; by this means they may be induced to believe that Religion is not meer notion but a reality; that it is a thing practicable, yea, and that it is pleasant. It is your drawing up in your own lives a beautiful, lovely Picture of Religion, that is the most likely way to make them full in love with it, and make it your business to see to it that there be as few spots in it as possible; for however some vain Persons do absurdly think spots in their Faces are their Ornaments, and set them off; yet sure all will believe and grant that spots in the Life are blemishes, and a meer deformity. Hence it is that Wives are commanded to carry as becomes them in their Conjugal Relation, Being in subjection to their own Husbands, and of a chast conversation coupled with fear, that if any do not obey the word, they may without the word be won by the conversations of p. 270their Wives, 1 Pet. 3.1, 2. And this, Oh! this is that which I would gladly have among all upon whom the Name of Christ is called; as for the wicked and profane of the Age, if they hate to be reformed, and are resolved upon their way, they may go on. He that is unjust, let him be unjust still, and he that is filthy, let him be filthy still, Rev. 22.11. Yes, if he will, let him, and see what will come of it. But, I say, as for Professors, let them live up to the Principles of their Religion, let them abstain from all appearance of evil, let their Conversation be as it becomes the Gospel of Christ, and in all things adorn the Doctrine of our God and Saviour, let your Conversation be a God-honouring Conversation, and a World-condemning Conversation, and a Soul-winning Conversation; Oh! the good that might by this be done, how much might the Credit and Honour of Religion be retrieved, which hath sunk and lost so much in this Degenerate, Atheistical, and Wicked Generation in which there is nothing more common, though most unjust, than for vile Wretches to take up all the dirt which they find in the Lives of some Professors, and throw it in the Face of our glorious Religion? but woe be to the Men and Women who give the occasion, and by whom the offence cometh, it had been better for them they had never been Born. Woe to the Men and Women that pray in their Families, and then contradict their own Prayers by an unsuitable Conversation, that give very wholesom Counsel and Advice, but live quite contrary to it. What these Men Build with one hand, they pull down with the other; these are the Persons that do Religion a mischief; through them it is that the Name of God is Blasphemed among others, Rom. 2.24. p. 271Therefore here also I will give you some Directions, and desire you carefully to follow them.

First; Look to it that you be of an unblameable Conversation. I know that while you are here you cannot be altogether sinless. Paul groaned under a Body of Death, but he could not get rid of it; but if you will walk so wisely and circumspectly as you ought, and have power to do, you may be blameless; Daniel was so, so accurate in the management of himself, so true to his trust, that though his great Preferment drew upon him the Envy of the Court, and his high Place render'd him the more conspicuous and visible, and those that were his Enemies watch'd him narrowly, yet they despair'd of finding any occasion against him, save in the matter of his God, Dan. 6.5. He would break the Laws of Men when they did cross the Law of God, and that was his Duty, and still will be his Honour.

It is an excellent thing, that which nearly, greatly concerns us all, so to carry as that our own Consciences may not blame us; one of which is more than a Thousand Witnesses, and will be a greater evidence; see that you do not arm them against you, that they do not reproach you; this was Paul's daily care and study; his constant Employment and Exercise, to keep his Conscience void of offence, Acts 24.16. he would by no means offend his Conscience, nor give it any cause of chiding and being angry with him.

It is also highly our Interest so to carry as that God may not blame us at the last; that he may not reproach us when we come to appear in open Court before Angels, Men, and Devils, and to be Tryed for our Lives, and Sentence as to our Eternal State; that God may not say, You called your selves my Children, but you were a company of disobedient p. 272Children; you were a dishonour to me, and now before all I do disown you, you are none of mine, I know you not. Oh! do you please God now, and obey him now, and honour him now, that he may not blame you at the last, 1 Pet. 3.14. Be diligent that ye may be found of him in peace, without spot, and blameless; this doth require and deserve all the diligence you can use.

But that which I would press upon you now is an unblameable walking before Men; that you may be able to look any Man in the face, and being righteous, be as bold as a Lion; and do so in your Families; behave your selves wisely by walking within your houses with a perfect heart, and in a perfect way. Some when they go abroad put on a Cloak of Morality, and Religion, but when they come home again they put it off; they look like Saints, good Men, sweet temper'd Men in other folks, in other Mens houses, but they are Tygers or Devils in their own. Be you every where what you should be, in the fear of God all the day, and in all places, good every where, best at home. Let Godliness be no Underling, but Commander in chief, ordering and ruling both your words and actions. See that your selves be not guilty of Lying, Swearing, Cursing, Gaming, Drunkenness, Uncleanness, neither let any filthy Communication proceed out of your mouths, for it is infectious, tending to the debauching of others, and the corrupting of good manners.

The holy Scriptures, which are the best, and most exact Rule of Faith and Manners, do very much insist upon this, and loudly call for it; 2 Tim. 2.19. Let every one that nameth the Name of Christ depart from Iniquity. Whatever he did before while he was an Atheist, an Heathen, though he loved Iniquity, and liv'd in it, though he drew Iniquity with Cords p. 273of Vanity, and Sin as with Cart-ropes, yet now that he is a Christian, he must turn over another Leaf, if he would prove himself a Man in Christ, he must lead a new Life, and be a new Creature; he must now be divorced from Iniquity, and depart from it, from all Iniquity, from all sorts of Iniquity, and that as far as ever he can, saying of his Iniquity, what Ephraim said of his Idols, What have I to do any more with them? Hos. 14.8. His very naming the Name of Christ, professing Faith in that Name, and calling himself by it, doth strictly oblige him thereunto. Again, this blessed Scripture (which is as Gold tryed seven times in the Fire) doth require you to have the same Mind in you that was in Christ Iesus, and to work out your Salvation with fear and trembling, and also to be blameless and harmless, the Sons of God, without rebuke in the midst of a crooked and perverse Generation among whom ye live, and to hold forth the Word of Life; Phil. 2.15, 16. Though your Lines are cast in a debauched place, though you live among a company of profligate Wretches, yet do not you learn their Manners; they will not be the better for you, be not you the worse for them; keep you your selves pure, though you live in a dirty World that lieth in wickedness, be you as spotless as is possible, imitating Noah, of whom this admirable account is given, that when the wickedness of Man was great upon the Earth, which was filled with violence, and all flesh had corrupted their way; Gen. 6.5, 12. yet he was a just Man, and perfect in his Generation, and walked with God; Gen. 6.9. Indeed even he miscarried afterward; for there is not a just Man upon Earth that liveth and sinneth not, but hitherto he pleased God, and set you an excellent Copy, write after him. This, my dear Friends, is the least that all Men have to expect from you who call your selves Christians, and make a Profession p. 274of Godliness, therefore, I beseech you not to fail herein; be sure to do this, be ye blameless.

Secondly; Be you always grave and serious. Keep not only clear of Sin, but also of Vanity, which will abate your esteem, and render you less valuable. Really, I have not seldom thought it more than enough to offend and turn the Stomachs of sober and wise persons, to see the foolish tricks and Antick gestures of some whose Age and Stature did speak them Men. That is evidently true which Elihu said, Great Men are not always wise, neither do the aged understand Iudgment; Iob 32.9. There may be, and too often is want of Brains in an hoary Head. Paul saith, when he was a Child, he did as a Child, and spake as a Child: Neither was it a thing to be blamed or wondred at; what else was to be expected from him? Though sometimes excellent Wisdom appears in Young ones, as in Timothy, who knew the Scriptures of a Child. And Ambrose saith of Agnes, Corpore juvencula, animo cana fuit; she had a youthful Body, and an aged Mind. Young Samuel had in Grace out-striped old Eli: But, saith Paul, When I came to be a Man, I put away childish things: And it is greatly to be wished, that all would do the same, and not be Children all their days. That when they write Man, they would act like Men, bidding an everlasting farewel to childish Tricks, and childish Discourses, childish Pleasures, childish Actions and Carriages. Yea and if there be any such things as manly follies, have nothing to do with them. How do any think to train and bring up their Young ones to the Wisdom, and Discretion, and holy Prudence of Men, when they themselves are playing the Children before them. Therefore, as I said before, be you grave and serious; let Wisdom breath in all your discourses; speak much the Language of Heaven; p. 275let it be stampt upon all your actions; for one act of folly will detract more from your Reputation, than twenty prudent ones will be able to repair and make up again; let it shew it self in all your Converses; be so familiar as to know your place; so let out your Love to Man, as still to keep up your Fear of God; so converse with Friends here, as not to interrupt your Communion with your heavenly Father; be so courteous, as still to be Religious; so sociable, as to keep within those bounds which God hath set you.

I would not be understood as speaking one word, no not a syllable against cheerfulness, a sober and well regulated Mirth; for it is not only allowed by God, which is enough to prove its lawfulness, but also commanded, which renders it a Duty; Eat thy Bread with a merry Heart, rejoice with the Wife of thy Youth, yea, and of thy Age too; and Paul doubles the Precept, Rejoice evermore, and again I say rejoice; and the Psalmist tells us, Praise is comely for the upright; not Complaints, but Songs; not always Prayer, but Praise; the Garment of Praise is the Beautiful Garment which sits most neatly upon a Saints Back, and with this they shall be Invested when taken up to Glory, and admitted into the Joy of their Lord; and this I desire them to consider who please themselves in a dejected, melancholick Temper, and think they never look well, and as becomes them, unless it be when they have a Cloud upon their Countenances, and Tears trickling down their Cheeks, and if ever they would speak properly, it must be in sighs. I wonder who told them so, it must be no other than the Devil, who is an inveterate and implacable Enemy as to their Holiness, so to their Peace and Comfort. Sure I am, that alacrity and cheerfulness is your Friend, and promotes p. 276the Health of your Bodies, and furthers the lively, vigorous motions of your Souls in their most noble Employments; it is Health to your Navels, and Marrow to your Bones, and Oil to your Wheels.

And this is also sure, that chearfulness doth become you; it is most becoming because most proper for you most suitable to that God who is your Father, to that Jesus who is your Head and Husband, to that Covenant upon which you have laid hold, to those Promises in which you are interested, to those Hopes under which you are planted, and to that safe, sweet, blessed state into which you by Grace are brought; and that it doth become you is evident from hence, because it doth belong to you. Light is sown for the righteous, and joy for the upright in heart; and it is fit you should reap that which Heavens Hand hath sown for you. There are no Persons in the World that have such a Right and Title to Joy as Believers have; wicked Men indeed have none at all, no, though they be Rich, yet are commanded to weep and howl for the Miseries that shall come upon them, Iames 5.1. For a Temporal Heaven, they shall have an Eternal Hell.

And further it is sure, that chearfulness is one way to commend Religion to others: The World is mistaken about it, and hath taken up a wrong notion of it, which it holds fast, viz. that it is a dull, heavy, mopish, and melancholick thing; that it is morose and ill-natur'd, an Enemy to Manners and Mirth; but that is a false notion, a grand mistake; it doth not forbid chearfulness, but directs and orders it, it teacheth Men to be merry and wise; and I do heartily wish all that chearfulness were quite banished which is inconsistent with the Rules and Principles of our Religion. The World would be far better p. 277without it; what need is there of that Laughter which Solomon call'd Madness, or what good comes of it; away with all that Iesting which the Scripture calls vain. It is a sad thing for Men to live Iesting, and after that go to Hell in Earnest; you will find it best to be Merry and Religious. R…s severa est verum gaudium; true joy is a severe, grave, and serious thing, and let that measure your days; let there be lightsomness, but nothing of lightness; solidity, but no froth; let your Families be witnesses of your Integrity, and see nothing in your Conversation that is below understanding Men, nothing unworthy of gracious Christians. But this is not enough.

Thirdly; Let your Carriages be holy. Our Saviour said to his Hearers, what do ye more than others? Mat. 5.47. You that have received more than others must do more than others; you that have been made partakers of Grace must out do, and out go, and out-shine those that have no more than Nature; it is not enough for you that you do nothing contrary to the Divine Precepts, that you do not point-blank run cross to the Rule of the Gospel. Negative Religion will never commend you to God, nor carry you to Heaven; you must conform to those Precepts, and walk up to that Rule, so shall you have Peace, and find Mercy. I have hoped for thy Salvation, and done thy Commandments; not legally, but Evangelically, Psal. 119.166. Yea, he that hath the Commandments of God in his Heart may have Salvation in his Eye. He that leads a Life of obedience may live a Life of Hope; and so godliliness richly pays for the pains it calls for; therefore I say unto you walk in print, so walk as to set Copies for others to write after, so that you may say to them, Walk so as you have us for an Example.

p. 278You do very well know how ready young ones are to produce you for their warrant, and they think your Example is sufficient authority, and should signifie as much as an foreign did formerly in the Schools, which stopt the Mouth of Contradiction, no Argument to the contrary was to be admitted; so here, young ones think the day is their own when they can say, I heard my Father or my Master speak such a word, or I saw him do such a thing; and from thence they strongly conclude, that without all peradventure they may speak and do the same; where as poor Creatures they are greatly mistaken, that is a very sorry Plea, a weak, pitiful Argument that cannot justifie them, nor will it satisfie God; if the thing done be amiss, your doing it will not bear them out when the matter comes to be tryed before the Judgment-Seat of Christ; nay, your Example alone is so far from being sufficient to justifie them, that your command will not do it. I do indeed know it hath been said, If Superiors command what is unlawful, Inferiors are bound to obey them; and in such a case, Though the Superiors shall be damned for their command, yet the Inferiors shall be saved for their Obedience; but it is a Cursed Opinion; we are bound to obey God rather than all the Men in the World; their Examples are not for us to follow, nor doth their commands oblige us to active Obedience, when they run cross to the Law of God: and the Wrath of God hath broken out, and will still break out against Persons and People for such their Obedience, Hos. 5.11, 12. Ephraim is oppressed and broken in judgment, because he willingly walked after the Commandment, therefore will I be unto Ephraim as a Moth, and to the House of Judah as Rottenness.

Wherefore I advise and beseech you that ye would be holy, that so ye may be exemplary; be you sure p. 279to keep the way of God, that they may safely tread in your steps; do you follow Christ that ye may with boldness call upon them to be followers of you. I cannot but again mention that resolution of David, and desire you to remember it, and make it your fixed resolve too; Psal. 101.2. I will behave my self wisely in a perfect way, I will walk within my House with a perfect Heart; do you the same? Behave your selves graciously, that is, behaving your selves wisely, walk in the Scripture-way, for that is the perfect way; then you may humbly invite God to come unto you, and comfortably hope that he will. Do this, I say, in your House, in your Families, and before your Domesticks, where, and with whom, you do most frequently and intimately converse; and in order to the more firm fastening of this Resolution, and your better putting it in practice, I advise you often to call to mind that excellent Question propounded by the Apostle Peter in his second Epistle, Chap. 3. ver. 11. Seeing all these things shall be dissolved, all what things? All those things that he had spoken of in the former part of that Chapter, all these things that are within your sight; your Families shall be dissolved, your nearest and dearest Relations, Civil, Conjugal, Natural, shall be dissolved; the Union between your Souls and Bodies shall be dissolved, those two old dear Friends must part, the whole Frame and Fabrick of Nature must be dissolved, The Heavens, i. e. these visible Heavens, shall pass away with a great noise, and the Elements shall melt with fervent heat, for the Lord Jesus will be revealed from Heaven in flaming Fire; the Earth also and the works therein shall be burnt up; what Works? Gods Works, and Mens Works; well, what then? One Question I would ask you, and have you to ask your selves, that is p. 280this, What are you? Are you fire proof? Are you Gold? Can you endure the Burning? Can you dwell with devouring Fire, and not be devoured by it? Another Question is, What should you be? Take it in the same Apostles words, What manner of Persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness? not of the ordinary make and common size of Professors, See that you be Saints of the first rate; let your godliness be of the highest pitch, and most lovely complexion. See that you be excellent and eminent for your Holiness, that every step of your way be no other than a walking with God, that every one of your actions be right and regular, and that your whole Conversation, all the windings and turnings of your Lives be plain and evident demonstrations of your holiness and godliness.

Fourthly; Be humble and meek in your Deportments. As you are commanded to put on Christ, that lie may be visible in your Tempers and Lives, and others may love Christum habitantem in vobis, Christ dwelling in you; so you are commanded to be cloathed with Humility. This should be the upper Garment, and through this your Graces, and Gifts, all your Excellencies and Accomplishments will shine with the greater and more taking Beauty.

I must and do most readily grant there is a distance between the Rulers and the Ruled, between Parents and Children, Masters and Servants, Mistresses and Maids; Nature it self teacheth it, and God himself hath order'd it; and Superiors should know their places, and be known in them; it is fit, it becomes them, yea, it is their duty, and they ought not to part with any of that honour, and power, and authority, with which God hath invested them, so to do would be sin. And on the other side, Inferiours are to understand themselves, and to know their p. 281places, and to keep their distance. There is an honour owing from Children to Parents, and they ought most chearfully to pay it. There is a fear, a reverence, an awe due from Servants to their Masters and Mistresses, and they are bound with all readiness to give it, they sin if they do it not; they must not think to be (as the Proverb hath it) hail Fellows well met; the Sacred Scripture knoweth no such thing, the Great and Holy God doth not allow it; see how his Will in this matter is revealed in his Word, Eph. 6.1, 2. Children obey your Parents in the Lord, for this is right; honour thy Father and Mother that it may be well with thee, and thou maist live long upon the earth; ver. 5. Servants, be obedient to them that are your Masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ. The like you may read in Col. 3.20, 21, 22. And again, 1 Tim. 6.1. Let as many Servants as are under the yoke, count their own Masters worthy of all honour, that the Name of God, and his Doctrine be not blasphemed. God is not the God of Confusion, but of Order, and it is his Will that Order should be maintained and kept up in Churches, and Nations, and Families.

Yet notwithstanding all this, it is the duty and very becoming of Superiours as to be low in their own Eyes, so to be humble in their Behaviour toward those below them, and to condescend to those who are of low degree. Christ Iesus was Master, though he took upon him the form of a Servant, he was Lord of all, yea, the Lord of Glory, yet he was meek and lowly; and it was his Will that all his Disciples should of him learn to be so, Mat. 11.29. The highest Heaven is not so much above the Earth as the great and glorious God is above Angels and Men; there is an infinite distance between him and p. 282us, yet how low doth he stoop, how wonderfully doth he condescend to his poor Creatures, to Worms, to Dust and Ashes, to whom he looks, with whom he dwells, whom he gives leave to lay hold upon his strength, to wrestle with him, to come with boldness to his throne of Grace, to whom he saith, Ask me of things to come concerning my Sons, and concerning the work of my hands command ye me! Isa. 45.11. Mind these things, and be astonished that so great a Majesty should so greatly bow to such pitiful shreds of Being; Psal. 8.4. What is man that thou art mindful of him, or the Son of Man that thou visitest him? Now certainly since the great God, and our Saviour, do thus stoop and humble themselves, we cannot but conclude, that Pride becomes no body, but it is the shame and disgrace of all that are guilty of it; and generally those Persons are highest in Pride who are lowest in Worth; Pride and Frowardness turn Men and Women into Monsters, yea, into a kind of ugly Devils, for as such they appear in the Eyes of those that have to do with them, yea, let their other accomplishments be never so great, yet this one thing spoils all. Such a Man is an Understanding Man, a Learned Man, a Wise Man, an Active Man, a very Useful Man; this is an high Encomium, but he is a Self-conceited Man, a Proud, Lofty Man, it is a great blot in his Escutcheon, Men do not like him, and God will resist him; whereas Humility is an Ornament wheresoever it is found, but it sets them off most who are highest. God delights to see such a Man, he will dwell with him that is of a contrite and humble Spirit, Isa. 57.15. And that is an evident sign he likes and loves them well, and as he will dwell with him, so will be good and liberal to them, he will revive his spirit, and give him grace, Jam. 4.6. He hath a special favour for them, he will smile lovingly p. 283upon them, he will give forth plentifully of his Spirit unto them, they shall have fresh influences, and blessed assistances, grace for grace. Thus an humble Spirit renders you pleasing to God, in and through Jesus Christ, and a kind, affable, courteous behaviour will commend you to Men, to all those with whom you Converse.

But while I am commending humility to Family Governours, I would not have them to do any thing unworthy of that place in which God hath set them. Stoop, but not basely, not below your place, shew your selves humble and kind, but do not make your selves mean, and cheap. Remember you are Parents, and Master and Mistress, and carry as such, and let not Inferiours forget themselves, nor turn kindness into wantonness and neglect; there are due bounds and limits unto which they may go, and beyond which they cannot pass without being Transgressors. It is not fit that Servants should be all tongue in the presence of their Master, or their Mistress, or boldly mingle them selves with their Discourses; yet they may be permitted to speak before them, so that they open their mouths with wisdom, in a due season, and in a right manner. It is not fit that Servants should usurp Authority, or take into their own hands the reins of Government, as if they had a right to dictate and give order; no, no, their business is to do the work, and not to cut it out; yet they may sometimes, and in some cases modestly shew their Opinion. Servants are to be obedient to their Masters, pleasing them well in all things, not answering again; not quarelling and murmuring against their Orders or Corrections, not thwarting and contradicting them, and thereby provoking their anger and indignation against them; yet when they p. 284are spoken to, they must not be sullenly silent, but give respective answers; yet when they have received wrong, and are unjustly charged, they may seasonably with due submission, and soft words (which turn away wrath) assert their own innocency, and clear themselves of that blame which was laid upon them. An instance hereof we have in David, 1 Sam. 24.8, 9, 10, 11. When Saul looked behind him, David stooped with his face to the earth, and bowed himself; and David said to Saul, wherefore hearest thou mens words, saying, behold, David seeketh thy hurt? Behold, this day thine eyes have seen how that the Lord had delivered thee to day into my hand in the Cave, and some bid me kill thee, but mine eye spared thee: and I said, I will not put forth my hand against my Lord, for he is the Lords Anointed. Moreover, my Father, see, yea see the skirt of thy Robe in my hand; for in that I cut off the skirt of thy Robe, and killed thee not, know thou and see, that there is neither evil nor transgression in mine hand, and I hav… not sinned against thee; thus he did, and so Servants may humbly clear and vindicate themselves when innocent. And Saul himself, as bad as he was, did hearken to him, and owned his integrity; saying, thou art more righteous than I, for thou hast rewarded me good, whereas I have rewarded thee evil.

Before I pass on and leave this particular, I shall propound to your consideration the practice of Iob, who was a Mirrour of Patience, and a Non-such for Piety. He tells us, it was far from him to despise the cause of his Man-Servant, or his Maid Servant, when they contended with him. If I had done so, saith he, what shall I do when God riseth up, and what shall I answer when he visiteth? Iob 31.13, 14. We must needs speak something to that p. 285word contended; when they contended with me. May Servants contend with their Masters and Mistresses? they do often, too too often contend among themselves, one with another, more shame for them; but would Iob allow them to contend with himself? if he did, indeed we may admire his Patience, but have no reason to commend his Prudence. What therefore are we to understand by this their contending? let Holy and Reverend Mr. Caryl answer the question, which he doth, in these Particulars.

First, We are not to understand this, of a bold and saucy contending, doubtless Iob was a Wiser Man than to endure such unmannerly Servants in his House; such sacucie carriage deserves and calls for sower returns; nor

Secondly, Are we to understand hereby contention in a way of gainsaying, thwarting him in his Orders, and contradicting his Commands; a Master who knows his place, will not bear with that, he is not to have them for his Controulers, nor

Thirdly, are we to understand it of any unreasonable murmuring and dislike upon every trivial and frivolous occasion; these things, saith he, are not to be permitted in any well-govern'd Family, such as Iob was. If Servants will thus contend with their Masters, they have, saith he, not only reason to despise and dislike them, but unless they amend, to rid their hands of them, and put them out of their Houses. Therefore we have cause to conclude Iobs meaning was this.

Fourthly, When any Servant had matter of complaint as to any Household grievance, he gave them free liberty to acquaint him with it; they needed not be afraid to present their case to him, whom they should find to be their Patron, as well p. 286as their Master, and as ready to do them right, as to expect service from them, as the same Author saith. Sometimes Servants complain that their Reward or Wages is too little, sometimes that their Work is too much, and lieth too hard or heavy upon them. When Iobs Servants contended with him about those, or any such matters, he did not bid them hold their tongue, or get them gone, much less did he say as Pharaoh did, there shall be more work laid upon you, that you may labour therein, but he heard them patiently, and gave them redress, if their Complaints were just, which many Masters would not do; or else he convinced them by his Wisdom, and the weight of his Arguments, that their Complaints were causeless, and unreasonable, which most Masters could not do. He was always willing and ready to rectifie whatever was amiss, and to remove every thing that was really a grievance; go ye and do likewise.

It is past dispute, that Masters and Mistresses have a place above their Servants; God himself hath by the all-disposing hand of his wise Providence, set them upon the upper ground, and they have a power over their Servants, so long as they continue such; but yet they are not to abuse them, nor trample them under their feet; no, no, you ought to be humble, meek, and lowly, though never so great, so high, and rich. The Sun is a glorious Creature, and much above the Earth, yet how comfortable is it to the things therein, how kind and benign its Beams and Influences? be you so in your Places, not only righteous to them, but courteous, not Labans, not Nabals. To this end, frequently remember and consider, that as you are Persons in Authority, so you are under Authority, you your selves have a Master too; you are above your Servants, but there is p. 287a God in Heaven who is infinitely more above you, and hath Persons, Times, and Things, in his own hand, and at his own dispose, and doth make frequent turns and changes in the World, and it is his delight to abase the Proud. If any of you will pride it in the place of Masters, and Mistresses, God can easily, and he quickly may bring you down into the place, rank and condition of poor Servants, and such an alteration will be very uneasie to you, unless God brings your Spirits down to your Condition, it will be very uneasie; a strait Shooe drawn upon a big foot, pincheth it, and puts it to pain.

Fifthly, Be loving and Kind in all your Carriages. Love like Varnish puts a beauty and gloss upon all things, and like Sugar or Honey a sweetness into them, it is a most glorious representation of God to us, the Scripture saith, he is Love. It was an excellent Chariot which King Solomon made for himself, Cant. 3.9, 10. of the Wood of Lebanon, there was sweetness, the Pillars thereof were Silver, and the bottom was Gold, and the covering of it of purple, there was Richness, and Princely State, but what follows sets off and commends all the rest; the middest of it was paved with Love for the Daughters of Ierusalem. Yes, had there been no love there, one might as well have rode in a Cart, as in Solomons Chariot. Love goeth with the Holy Soul to Heaven, and there it is perfected, and there it eternally abides, and is the Heaven of Heaven, it is the brightness of its glory, and the sweetness of all its delights. Faith and Hope are two excellent Graces, and of singular use here, but they will both cease; Faith being swallowed up of Vision, and Hope most gladly resigning its place to Fruition, but Love remains. Heaven would not be Heaven without Love; call that place Hell where Love is not, that House Hell where Love dwells not.

p. 288You that are Husbands, and Wives be loving and kind to one another, in your looks and in your lips let there be the law of kindness▪ that will strengthen your interest in your Family, and power over it, as well as sweeten your own life, and Relations; whereas your quarrels and contentions do and will render you mean, cheap and contemptible in the eyes of your Inferiours. Some may think it great to ride Master, and to have their will, but they lose much more in their honour than that comes to. Therefore if at any time there happen a disagreement between you, keep it close and private between your selves, not suffering it to take air; if there be a spark of discontent kindled▪ put it out with all speed, and let it not break forth into a flame.

Be also kind and loving to your Servants, and to your Children; when you give out your Orders to them, do not do it in an imperious way; some think it becomes them to speak altogether in thunder, but let them remember, that it pleased the great God to speak to his Servant Elijah in a still voice. To command with Love, is the most likely way to be obeyed with delight, and cheerfulness.

When you Teach and Instruct them, do it with gentleness; the moderate Rain doth more sweetly soak into the Earth, and refresh the Fruit of it, than Thunder-Showers, which falling with violence, lay the Corn, and the Grass, and damnifie both; it is better to instill into them knowledge and good Principles, than to knock and beat them in. Love doth most sweetly unlock and open the ear, and makes a free and easie passage for Instructions, and Councels to enter in, and it doth mollifie and soften the heart, so that it is rendred more ready to receive impressions, more faithful and careful to retain them.

p. 289When you do reprove them, as reprove them you must when they do deserve it, silence in such a case is sinful. He that suffers Sin to rest upon his Child or Servant, brings guilt upon himself, and becomes a partaker with him in his evil deeds. He that doth not reprove for Sin, encourageth in it, and for not reproving, shall be reproved. But whensoever you do reprove, let it be done in Love. Adam had disobeyed God in eating the forbidden Fruit, God did not wink at it, resolved to punish him for it, and did, yet he came to him in the cool of the day. Always dip the Nail in Oyl, for that is the way to make it drive best, and pierce deepest, otherwise the Board may split, or the Nail bow and break, through a stubborn resistance.

When you are angry with them, moderate your passion, and mingle it, do not stir up all your wrath, but in the midst thereof remember Mercy; even then let them see that you love them, and that though their sinful Practices be odious to you, yet their Persons are dear, and all the fruit you aim at, is the taking away their Sin, and that you design your hottest anger for nothing else but a refining fire, to separate their dross from them, that afterwards they may come out like Gold.

When you chide them, be sure it is not without a cause, nor more than it doth deserve. He is no Wise Man, that for the roasting of an Egg, makes a fire big enough to roast an Ox, all that cost might have been saved, and the thing better done. In such a case a holy warmth is necessary, and highly desirable; but let not your tongue be set on fire with the fire of Hell, no, no, let Grace be poured into your lips, and out of them too; mix your severest Chidings with convincing Discourses, gracious Counsels, and perswasive Arguments; and p. 290while you would drive them from Sin, at the same time draw them to Vertue, and Godliness.

When you Correct them, do it in Wisdom; if Rods will do, make no use of Scorpions; yea, and let Love lay on the Rod, remembring God, who contends in measure; let them see clearly that your chastning of them is not for your pleasure, but their own profit, that they might be reduced from the errour of their way, and made partakers of Gods holiness, and when you Correct, pray for them. It is Gods Ordinance, therefore beg a blessing of him upon his own Ordinance, that through him it may prosper, to the destruction of the corrupt Flesh, and so the Spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Iesus, 1 Cor. 5.5.

This is the ready way to gain them a most proper course, to render all the means you use effectual upon them, then will they look upon your very smitings as a kindness, and upon your reproofs as an excellent Oyl, that will not break their heads. This is the way to make your Counsels theirs, and to make them yet more your own, by gaining their hearts. As kindness makes subjection most easie to the inferiour, and most pleasant; the Yoak will not gaul if it be lin'd with Velvet; so it commands with the greatest power, it draws suaviter, & fortiter, sweetly, and strongly, so that the Soul runs; it allures and constrains too: and at the same time it makes Government pleasant to the Superiour, plucking Thorns out of the Crown, and instead of them, sticking it with Roses. Whereas an imperious froward Lord or Master doth not only make his Family uneasie, but himself too; as their Yoak is heavy, so his Seat will be hard, and while he is all for Whip and Spur, it will make both his arm and his heart ake to hold the Bridle. Remember p. 291that Gods way is to draw with the Cords of a Man, i. e. with rational Arguments for the convincing of the Judgement, and with loving kindness, in order to a moving upon, and winning of the affections; be ye followers of him as dear Children. The more there is of love in your hearts and lives, the more there is of God, the more do you express and glorifie him; and here let me add that which followeth hereupon, or rather most sweetly accompanies it.

Sixthly, Be not severe and rigid in your dealings with them, but tender and compassionate. It is said of the Egyptians, that they made the Children of Israel serve with rigour, and they made their lives bitter with hard bondage, in Mortar, and in Brick, and in all manner of service in the Field, all their Service wherein they made them serve was with rigour; Tyranny, Violence, Fierceness, citra ullam clementiam aut misericordiam, without any clemency, or mercy, Exod. 13.14. therefore Egypt is called an Iron Furnace, Deut. 4.20. but Israelites were forbidden to rule over one another after this manner; If thy Brother be waxen poor, and sold unto thee, thou shalt not compell him to serve as a Bonds Servant, Levit. 25.39. Thou shalt not rule over him with rigour, but shalt fear thy God, ver. 43. over your Brethren the Children of Israel, ye shall not rule one over another with rigour v. 46. ye shall not rack him with labour, nor with blows, nor with threatnings; ye Masters forbear threatnings, Ephesians 6.9. not altogether, sometimes they may be necessary, but do not use them always, nor often. Well then, God would have you not rigorous and oppressive, but tender; be so then, as to instance in some particulars.

In their Sickness, let them have what you can afford, and their case doth require; give them convenient p. 292Lodging, due Attendance, with all that is necessary both for Food, and Physick, that so they may see their Lives are valued by you, and precious to you, and that it is your will they should not want any thing that is fit for them. How did the good Centurion regard his sick Servant? Luke 7.2, 3. His Servant who was dear unto him was sick, and when he heard of Iesus, he sent unto him the Elders of the Iews, beseeching him that he would come and heal his Servant. By taking care of them under their Distempers, you will gain their hearts yet more, and engage them to take the greater care of your business when their health shall be restored them.

In their Work do not over-task them, do not call them to that which you know they have not skill to do, nor lay upon them such heavy burthens as are above their strength to bear, though such Task-Masters have been found among Egyptians, let there be none such among professed Christians. It is more becoming the Servants of Pharaoh, who is called a Dragon-Leviathan, than the followers of Iesus who is the Lamb of God, a Lyon indeed for strength in his defending of them, but a Lamb for meekness in his dealings with them; when he invites Men and Women to take his Yoak upon them, he tells them it is easie, and his burthen is light; and whether it be so or no, ask one of his Servants who did draw in it, and was able to speak from his own experience, and he hath past his word for it, and left it upon Record, that his Commands are not grievious.

And in their failings be ye merciful to them; if you are only concerned, bear as much as is fit, but if God be concerned too, make them know your deep resentment; but withall, do what you can to restore them with a Spirit of meekness, trample not p. 293upon them when down, but lend them your hand toward the raising them up again to Repentance. And by it, I would not have you (as I said before) wink at Sin, either in your Children, or in your Servants; for who knows how great a matter a little fire kindles? how many Unclean Spirits may follow one that was admitted and found entertainment before? Besides, to bear with Sin in them, is the way to provoke the anger of God against your selves, because you do not punish Sin in them, God will punish that neglect in you. Yet even in that case, you ought to act with prudence, and Christian moderation, and let the offending Parties find, that while your wrath burns against their sin, your bowels yearn over them. As when God threatned Adam and Eve for their Disobedience, yet he threw out to them a plank after the Ship-wreck, and before he turned them out of Paradise, he opened to them a door of hope in that early and most gracious Promise, the Seed of the Woman shall break the Serpents head.

And for the promoting of this tenderness in you, consider your own obnoxiousness to God, they have their miscarriages, and you are not without, but do offend in many things; you did so when you were young as they are, and to this day you are not faultless, but if the Lord should be strict to mark iniquities, you would never be able to abide it, and therefore have need to go down upon your knees every day, and humbly sue out your pardon; and it is a plain case, such as stand in need of a Pardon themselves should be very free to give it out to others: and upon those terms only it is to be expected, our Saviour having told us, that if we forgive not men their trespasses, neither will our Heavenly Father forgive us our trespasses. 6. Mat. 15. That King was justly p. 294severe with his cruel Servant, who owed him Ten thousand Talents, and upon his intreaty had that vast debt forgiven him; but meeting with his fellow Servant who owed him no more than Five hundred Pence, laid hold on him, took him by the Throat and cast him into Prison; whereupon his Lord was wrath and delivered him to the Tormentors, till he should pay all that was due. So, saith Christ shall my Heave…ly Father do also unto you, if ye from your heart forgive not every one his brother their trespasses. Matthew 18 23. So that your Lives, your Pardon, your Salvation depend upon this: if you will shew no mercy, you are not like to find any, that measure which you meet to others shall be meeted out to you again; neither is this forgiveness to be past to a Brother only, but to an Enemy, to a Servant, upon profession of Repentance, and the promise of amendment. How Pathetically did the Apostle Paul plead with Philemon for his forgiving of Onesimus, and receiving him again into his favour and Family, who had before been an unfaithful Servant, but was at that time a Penitent and Convert.

Eightly and Lastly, In the measuring out of your love and kindness, make no difference but where the merit and desert of Persons did make one first; This is the way to encourage virtue, without discouraging any one. Indeed it is too common and ordinary a fault, and too frequently visible in Families for Parents to be partial, unequal, yea and unjust in the distribution of their favours, when by-standers are not able to give any; no not the least shadow nor colour of Reason for it▪ One Child, and possibly that too none of the best shall be the Darling, and have all the countenance and respect, and all the attendance, and abundance of good things given it, when the p. 295others are slighted and neglected as if they were not their own, or not worthy to be owned; though they have cost the Mothers much sickness in breeding them, and as much pain in bringing them forth; and as much care and trouble in their rearing of them up, yet after all they are looked upon as the refuse and off-scouring of the Family; and whereas they have a right to the priviledges of Children, they are debased to the condition of Servants, if not of Slaves. This I my self have been a mournful spectator of, feeling in me the workings of those p…ssions of grief and displeasure which such a matter might well raise; and as for those Parents which are herein guilty, I desire them seriously to consider these few things which I shall but briefly touch upon.

First, What a great discouragement this is to th…se poor neglected Children. Hereby you damp their Spirits, and take off their edge; possibly they are dull and heavy already, and you take a course to make them more so; if they be naturally quick and lively, they are the more apprehensive and sensible of your unkindness, and that causeth the greater dejection.

Secondly, You create in them a grudge against him who is your fondling. And lay the foundation of a present and future, if not a perpetual breach, and he or she who is the object of your unequal love, may for that very reason be the sole object of their envy and rage. I suppose you know how Ioseph's dreams did incense his Brethren against him, and how do you know but your dreaming or rather doating folly, may have as diresul an effect of one kind or another?

Thirdly, You do provoke those Children to be less respective and dutiful to you. Truly Parents, if they be wise, will so carry as to get their Childrens love; p. 296for as they depend upon you now, so you may when they are grown up stand in need of them; though now they are but little ones, yet remember they may come to be Men and Women, and be great supports and comforts to you when you can do little for your selves, and it is not your bringing of them forth, not their meer having a being from you that will endear you to them; in case there be afterward an apparent defect in your love, you will find their memories are tenacious. I heartily wish, this may never be your case, but there is too much reason to fear it, and if it should come to pass, you will see cause to repent, but alas! then it will be too late, the matter is past cure.

Fourthly, This partial and unequal affection of Parents may provoke against them the Divine displeasure. Yea, and make them to feel the smarting effects thereof. God may write his anger in such plain and leigible Characters that they may run and read their sin in the punishment. As in another case, when God saw that Iacob loved Rachel, but not Leah, or Rachel more than Leah, he opened the Womb of Leah, and gave her Power to Concieve and bring forth, but shut up Rachels ▪ Womb and struck her with Barreness, 29. Genesis 31. and I will appeal to you, have not some of you known Parents herein chargeable; the Father or Mother have set their Hearts too much upon one Child, and their Affections have run with a strong and violent stream in that Channel; and it hath issued in lamentation and woe, one of these two things have followed thereupon. Either,

First, God hath taken away that Child from them. They hugg'd it to death, as the Ape doth her young ones. Ionah was exceeding glad because of the gou…d that shadowed his head, and in some measure p. 297helped and relieved him against the vehement scorching heat of the Sun; here joyced with great joy, he was overjoyed, and what followed? God prepared a Worm, when the Morning rose the next day, and it smote the gourd that it withered. 4. Ionah 6, 7. He joyed too much, and his enjoyment was short; over-loving a Child is over laying it. It is as killing it with kindness. Or

Secondly, If that Child hath been continued to them it hath been in wrath. They have the life of it, but they want the comfort of it; for it hath proved naught and vicious, and so been a Thorn in their side, an Heart-break to them. They had better while it was Young have followed it to the Grave, than see it now notoriously wicked, an Enemy to God and all goodness, disobedient to them, and galloping to Hell with full speed, as if it thought it could not get thither soon enough.

Therefore upon all these accounts the advice which I give unto Parents is this; observe the spirits and carriages of your Children, and also of your Servants, which of them do most fear God, and respect you; which of them are most tractable and diligent, and let them have most love and respect who do deserve it best; bestow your greatest cost upon that Soil which makes the best returns, by this means they will have no just cause of quarreling you. By this you will prevent envy, discontent and breaches among them; and also promote Piety and Goodness in your Families, by stirring up in them all an excellent, sweet and Friendly Emulation. So that there shall be a striving together without wrath and bitterness, how they may excel in Godliness and Virtue, and in all those things which you require of them, and which will render them acceptable and pleasant unto you; this will sweeten and commend obedience p. 298to them, it will encrease and add to their endeavours, it will be as a Golden Spur to quicken their pace in the way that they should go.

Now for a Coronis or conclusion of this my Discourse, upon this great, and (specially at this day) necessary Subject of Family Duties, I shall add some Miscellany Counsels, and make a kind of Medley, inviting whoever will to come and take, and apply those of them to themselves, which they shall judge most proper and pertinent to their case; and the God of Heaven bless them to them.

First, Look diligently, lest any fail or fall short of the grace of God, 12 Hebrews 15. You see there it is the Apostle's Advice, it will be your wisdom to take and follow it; see that the Spirit of Christ dwell in you, else you are none of his; and that you have been made partakers of his renewing sanctifying Influences: without the Spirit of God you will never be fit for the Work of God: Without Christ's breathing upon his Apostles, and their receiving from him the Holy Ghost, they could never have done the work of an Apostle; so without Christs breathing upon you, and your receiving his Spirit, you will never rightly perform the work of a Christian.; where there is not the Spirit of Grace, there is not the Spirit of Supplication.

Nor will a person void of the Spirit and Grace be welcom to God, nor his Service pleasing. Such an one indeed may peform the External Duties of Reliligion, and set up the Worship of God in his Family, and it is no more than what he owes to God, and to himself, and to his House, yet that which he doth will not be accepted; if the man be bad, what he doth cannot be good, but is quite spoil'd by his doing it: The Sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord: Though the Sacrifice for the matter of it be p. 299rich and costly, yet God's soul loaths and abhors, it because a wicked man brings it; The Lord had respect unto Abel, and to his offering, 4 Gen. 4. first to the person, and then to the thing.

Besides, unless you have the Spirit and Grace, you will not be constant in Duty, a small matter shall take you off, and stop you in your course; the question is, Will the hypocrite pray always, will he always call upon God? The Answer is easy and ready; no, he will not, and the Reason is plain, because there is not a spring to feed the stream, not an inward principle to keep on the motion: God complain'd of old, That the people drew nigh unto him with their lips, but their hearts were far from him: Mark, though there were appearances before God, yet their hearts and God did never meet together in the Duty, and therefore the day will most certainly come when there will be a parting between such people and their duties, they never cordially and throughly agreed with God himself, never came to a full closure with his terms, never lov'd him for his holiness, nor rejoyced at the remembrance of it, and therefore for something or other they will fall out with his Works and Ways.

Consider my dearly beloved, and again consider what the Scripture saith. It is a good thing that the Heart be establisht with Grace, Heb. 13.9. both with the Doctrine of Grace, and with an internal Principle of Grace, for the one will not do without the other, nothing short of Grace can strengthen, stablish and settle the Heart, till Grace be infused into the Soul, and becomes a new nature in it, till it comes to be commander in chief, the Heart of man will be fluttering and unstable, off and on playing fast and loose with God, it will look toward the holy Temple, and take some steps in the Way of God, and that with p. 300seeming life and vigour, as much zeal for the Lord of Hosts as Iehu pretended to have, but being only a preternatural heat, it cools again, and the man jades and tires.

But when once Grace comes in truth and with Power it fixeth the Soul, and as when the Rulers of the People and Elders of Israel commanded the Apostles not to speak at all, nor teach in the name of Iesus. Peter and Iohn answered them thus, we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard, Acts 4.20. so when there is an holy frame wrought in any, they cannot but wait upon God, converse and walk with God, they cannot but Read and Hear and Pray: they cannot live a spiritual life without these spiritual breathings more than another life without natural breathing, an holy fear will powerfully drive them to their duty, a filial love will sweetly draw them to it, and Faith will mightily encourage them in it, while they do really and firmly believe that God is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him; they cannot but be a seeking People, while they do believe that let them be stedfast and immoveable, and never so much abounding in the Work of the Lord, their labour shall not be in vain in the Lord, they cannot but be an industrious and diligent People: and while they do believe that in the keeping of Gods Commandments there is great reward, besides all that which shall be hereafter, they will delight themselves greatly in them, and it will be their meat and drink to do them, and yet more when besides this Faith in God, they themselves have tasted that God is gracious, and had experience of that advantage which comes in by religious duties. I Love the Lord, said David, because he hath heard my Voice. He hath experience of Gods goodness and a love to him, because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore p. 301will I call upon him as long as I live, Psal. 116.1, 2. His mercy to me hath drawn out my love to him, and my love shall influence my obedience. I love him, and I will cleave to him and follow after him.

Secondly, While you are young covet after those gifts which may in some good measure accomplish you for the filling up of your duties and places, and the performance of every duty. It is an excellent thing for Christians to be well furnished, and youth is a golden season for that purpose, as for those, who are not studious while they are in the morning of their age, there is too much ground of fear, that they will continue Fools to their latter end.

It is indeed too apparent, that some, yea, too many who have good natural parts, and attained to some Knowledge and Learning, are thereupon wretchedly self-conceited, and puft up, knowing neither themselves, nor any body else; their pride testifieth against them to their very faces, and this is their folly, and their shame; they have no reason to swell, for they are empty, and the opinion they have taken up of themselves, is far above their abilities; when a Wise Man comes to fathom them, he finds they are very shallow, and their real intrinsick worth doth fall extreamly below that price, which they set upon themselves.

On the other side, there are many that pretend to nothing, and indeed there is nothing which they may pretend to, being altogether ignorant, weak, and poor, their upper room is wholly destitute and unfurnished, they are not able to discourse of God, and the things of God; they cannot pray, but want both matter and words, whereas they should be rich, and increased in goods, they are blind and wretched, and poor, and miserable; and whereas they should be thoroughly furnished for every good p. 302work, they are furnished for none at all: And from whence doth this proceed, but from their own gross neglect? they have not meditated as they should, nor read the Scriptures, nor heard Sermons as they should; they did not labour to stock and store themselves while they are young, and so they come to be poor and beggarly when they are old; they squandred away their Golden Age, and now they are come to their Silver hairs, their heads and hearts are little worth.

I do therefore now direct my Discourse to you young ones of both Sexes, and would have you better to befriend your selves, and as you do now learn your Trades, and your Books, and to manage Household business, and labour to get betimes a good insight into your several Callings, and so to understand them, as that you may be able afterward to set them up, and carry them on with Credit, and to advantage; go away and do the like as to Religion, and the things of God. Begin betimes to mind those things which do most deserve your minding, now acquaint your selves with God, look into your own hearts, and States, and study them well, get the knowledge of your Sins and Wants, when you read or hear, or are in company with good Men, see that it turn to account, and you get something by it, make something your own; be continually laying up, though it be but by little at at a time, yet it may come to something. The Evangelical Prophet hath this expression, Isa. 42.23. Who among you will give ear to this, who will hearken and hear for the time to come? Truly that is excellent Husbandry, very good for Men to be before hand; will you study this really? it is your best way, it is your interest. I would advise you to nothing, but what doth one way or another make for your own interest; p. 303this doth so; to read for the time to come, and to hear for the time to come; and to this end consider what you do in other cases: you will labour to get Money and Land for the time to come; and some of you to stock your selves with Cloaths and Linnen for the time to come: and give me if you can, a Reason why you should not be as desirous to get Knowledge, and Gifts, and Grace for the time to come? are not these things as good as the other? are they not better? O! do it then, I beseech you do it: be not Wise for your Bodies, and Fools for your Souls; Wise for time, and Fools for Eternity. See that you do things now in your single capacity, while you have the greatest leisure, and briskness of Parts; that so when you come to be Married, and have Families to order and govern, you may be Workmen that need not be ashamed, and able to do all your Work and Duty: And have a treasury out of which you may bring forth good things new and old, for the inriching of others; whom it should be your desire, and will be your comfort to see thriving under you. A Christian rich in gifts and grace, is most like to do good.

Thirdly, Study well how things stand with your selves and with them that are yours. Though I might also add with the Nation and Church of God, which are the Body of which you are Members, the Ship, in which you have so great a venture; and since you have a concernment in them, you ought to be daily and earnest supplicants for them. If I forget thee, O Ierusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning, if I do not remember thee, let my Tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth, if I prefer not Ierusalem above my chief Ioy. 137. Psalm 5, 6. But that which I advise you at present is a care within doors; see how matters stand with your Heart and with your House. p. 304Be thou diligent to know the state of thy stocks, and look well to thy herds. 27. Proverbs 23. And if such diligence should be used, such knowledge to be got of Flocks, and Herds, then Men should study and labour to understand their own state, and the state of their yoak fellows, and Children, and Servants, be strict observers of them, and frequent in your inquiries concerning them, and all that are under your charge, and see how matters have been with you, and them, and how they are, what are the providences of the day, and the dispensations of God toward you, and them.

This will supply you with matter of Prayer, yea, probably with variety of matter, and he that hath good store of matter, is most like to find good store of words to express it. Though a full Vessel may for a time want vent, yet when a little is given, it runs apace at the tap. This you may gather from those passages of Elihu, Iob 23.18, 19.20. I am full of matter, the Spirit within me constraineth me; behold my Belly is as Wine which hath not vent, it is ready to burst like new Bottles; and what now? there was no need of any squeezing him to get a drop out; no need of pouring some water in, in order to the pumping more out; no, he was resolved to ease himself. I will speak that I may be refreshed, I will open my Lips, and answer. The informing and rectifying of others, the correcting of their errours and mistakes, was an ease, delight and refreshing to Elihu himself.

Yea, and as this is the way to supply you with matter for Prayer, so to furnish you with suitable affections also; without which, Praying is no better than trifling, a losing of time, and a mocking of God. When your hearts are dead and dull, this considering of things is the way to excite and quicken them in the Duty, Psal. 39.4. My heart was hot within me, while p. 305I was musing the fire burned, than spake I with my Tongue. I shall give you two or three instances; when you consider your own personal sins, or those which have been committed by any of your Family, it will help you in Confession, which is a special part of Prayer, and a giving Glory to God; and very much conduce to the humbling, softning and melting of your Hearts, and then you will appear before the Throne of Grace as becomes you, and cannot carry with you a more acceptable and welcome present. Psal. 51.17. The Sacrifices of God are a broken Spirit, a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. When you ponder upon your own and your Families wants, necessities, burdens and afflictions, it will draw forth desires and longings; hungrings and thristings, and God fills the hungry with good things, it will raise an Holy fervor and heat, and as in Manoahs, so in the flame of thy Sacrifices the Father of Mercies, the Angel of the Covenant may do wonderfully. And when you are considering of the mercy and goodness to you, and commended by such and such circumstances, it may tune both Heart and Tongue to a Song of praise; and not only afford you just matter of thankfulness, but also raise up your Souls to a God-blessing, God-admiring, and God-exalting frame, and while you are much in Offering praise; you may comfortably hope, and expect that God will more and more shew you his Salvation, and compass you about with his favour as a Shield, and so sweeten your lives to you with farther instances of his care, and evidences of his Love, as shall further and raise your after comfort and joy.

Many are spoil'd, ruin'd, and for ever lost through want of consideration. They do not repent because they do not consider, they do not reform nor amend their ways and their doings, because they do not p. 306consider; so in the present case, many cannot pray, because they do not consider. The most thinking Men are, and not without good Reason, look'd upon as the wisest Men. So the most thinking Christian is the best Christian, most fit for the great work of Prayer, and most like to prosper in that or in any thing else, unto which he shall turn his hand. Only do not rest here, nor take up with your own Thoughts and Studies as if they would be sufficient, but let your Eyes ever be to the Everlasting Hills, from which cometh your help, and humbly beg of God the gracious assistance and influence of his blessed Spirit, who is (as you have heard) a Spirit of Grace and Supplication; and whose work it is to help the infirmities of his poor People, without he fill your Sails you will lye Wind-bound, but if he be in you as he was in Elihu, he will both constrain and enable you; and think with your selves how acceptable you must needs be to God, and how powerful, yea, prevalent your Prayers with him, if you be some of those blessed ones, who have the Spirit of God making intercession in them, and Jesus Christ the Son of God, at his Fathers right hand in Heaven making intercession for them.

Fourthly, While you are in the conscientious performance of Family duties; curiously take notice and observe what comes of all. A wise Man would do nothing in vain, no more would a wise and serious Christian. I run, said Paul, Corinth. 1.10. Not as uncertainly, so fight I not as one that beateth the Air. He did run as one that hoped to get the price, and he did fight not meerly to exercise himself, or to shew his Strength and Valour, but with a design and in hope to obtain the Victory. Thus it should be with you and all the Children of God, with reference to duty: you have been Praying, but what answer is p. 307there, what return? The Dove hath been sent out is he returned with an Olive-branch. You have let down your bucket into the Well of Salvation, have you drawn Water with joy? inquire what you your selves are the better for it? and whether your Families are the better; do you see less vanity in your young Ones, and more solidity and seriousness than there was before? What amendment is there, and Reformation of things amiss? What Conquests and Victories over Passions? What Patience and contetnment under Crosses, Losses, Afflictions, Provocations? What more Reverence and Humility in Duties of Worship. More taking up of the Bible and other good Books to Read? What more attentiveness to wholesom Instructions, and Counsels? What more dutifulness and respect to you in reward? What token of Love from above, what increase of goodness below? It is not good after vows to make enquiry, but to do it after Prayer is very good.

It hath been the practice of Holy Men that are recorded in the Word; when David resolved in the morning to direct his Prayer unto God; he did at the same resolve to look up: Psalm 5.3. He look'd to see what would, become of his Prayer, and what God would send in to him after it. When the Prophet Elijah had been Praying for Rain; He sent his Servant to look toward the Sea seven times, and left not till he saw a little Cloud; Kings 1.18.44. and that was to him a token of his speeding. And so again when Habakuk had been mightily wrestling with God in Prayer for Israel, and against the Caldeans, that bitter and hasty Nation, which should march thorough the breadth of the Land, and gather Captives as the Sand. He said in Habukuk 2.2. I will stand upon my watch, and set me upon my Tower, and will watch to see what he will say unto me. He that Prays much p. 308expects much and where there is an hopeful expectation there will be a curious Observation; if any of you do not look after your Prayers when you have put them to God, it is a sign you did not mind them while you made them.

And as I advise you to do thus after Praying, so do the same after your Reading and repeating, and instructing and counselling your Families; the great God doth thus, when he had been at much cost and charge upon his Vineyard. He looked it should bring forth Grapes, and what Grapes it did bring forth? Isaiah 5. our Lord Iesus doth so too. Cant. 6.11. I went down into the garden of nuts, to seek fruits of the valley, and to see whether the vine flourished and the pomegranates budded. And when the laborious Countryman hath Sown his Seed, and committed it to the Earth, he freequently goeth into the Field to see how it comes up, and what crop he is like to have. So when the Merchant hath sent his Commodities to Sea▪ he longs to hear of their safe arrival at the intended Haven, and then waits for a rich return: and what shall your Prayers and pains be neglected and forgotten as things meerly thrown away? I grant, they are not worthy God's regarding; but are they not worthy your own? Therefore, I say, when you have been taking pains in your Families, and scattering holy truths and counsels there which are as so much precious Seed; take notice, what place it hath in them, and what power upon them; whether it passeth away as a tale that is told, or roots and abides, and what good comes of it, what fruit there is like to be.

And though you meet with no success as yet, be not weary of well doing; but go on, duty is yours, success is Gods, who gives it when, where, and as he pleaseth: follow one counsel with another, one p. 309instruction with another, one reproof with another, and one prayer with another; do not sin in ceasing and giving over. Something may come of it at the last. The Husbandman waiteth f…r the precious fruit of the Earth, and hath long patience. Iames 5.7. He … not Sow and Reap in a day, the Seed lies a considerable time in the Furrows buried under the clods; follow then the Wiseman's advise. In the morning Sowe thy Seed, and in the evening withold not thine hand, for thou knowest not whether shall prosper this or that, or whether they both shall be alike good. Eccles 11.6.

Fifthly, When you set upon holy duties (particularly, that of prayer) see that you be well composed, and enjoy a calmness of Soul; we are required to lift up holy hands, as in faith, without doubting ▪ so in love without wrath. I have known and heard of some that would go chiding and scolding to their Prayer, in a chafe and fret; but are they like to be welcome? Sure, it would be more adviseable to stay till they were cooler. God did in a most tremendous manner destroy Nadab, and Abihu for Offering Incense with strange fire; what then must thou expect, who Offerest thine with Hell-fire?

The same Persons will fall into a scolding fit again as soon as the Prayer is over; what think you, doth this speak Grace in their Hearts? did they pray their Hearts into Heaven? had they any communion with God, sure if they had, they would have risen off their knees more like to him. When Moses had been in the Mount with God Forty days, at his coming down his face shone; there was a Light, Beauty, and Glory upon his Countenance he did not look, speak, nor act like a fury; besides▪ how can such an … think, that others should get good by his Prayer… when he himself gets none, or that he should … any one of this Family into Godliness, when he doth no… pray himself into quietness? Thou O Man, being p. 310under such a distemper, wouldest not go to thy King, how then darest thou go to thy God? If thou beest touchy and froward at, in, and after thy Prayer, God is not like to be pleased: Psal 18.26. With the froward He will shew himself froward.

Sixthly, Do not chuse to live in those Families, where there is not the Worship of God, nor Religious exercises, if thou art only a Lodger in such an house, deal with the Master, and in a Friendly manner put him upon it, if he will not be persuaded, thou hast cleared thine own Soul, that Family is none of thy charge, therefore that neglect shall not be charg'd upon thee, only be thou careful to pray by thy self and with thy Family if thou hast one, yea and with his too if he either desires it or will permit it, but why dost thou chuse to lodge there? couldst thou find no other place to pitch thy Tent in? If thou canst, why dost not go to it? Suppose there be where thou now art more outward conveniencies, consider God is not there, and it cannot be good living where God is not: for the pleasantness of the place Lot had a mind to dwell in Sodom, but had not God been more merciful to him, he had been consumed in the Flames of that vile City. It was a dismal time with the Egyptians …en in every one of their Houses there was one dead, and must it not of neccessity be very uncomfortable to thee, if alive unto God, to live in a Family where they are all dead? How did David bemoan himself while in the House of Saul, though a Family unto which he was related, yet because wicked he reckon'd it his unhappiness to be there? Psalm 120.5. Wo is me that I sojourn in Mesech, that I dwell in the Tents of Kedar.

Seventhly, Take none into your Family but those who will keep you company while walking with God. Carnal respect sway with many, after which much mischief follows and the repentance of an whole Life. Accept p. 311not of him for thy Husband who cannot or will not live with thee as a man of Knowledge, a Child of God. How shall He help thee on in thy journey to Heaven, who will not himself walk in the way that leads thither. Neither, do thou, O man if fearing God, take her for thy Wife, who will not draw with thee in the Yoke of Christ, but rather despise thee in her Heart, or mock and flout at thee when serving and honouring of the Lord. Some indeed, good natur'd men do take such in hope of gaining them afterward, but for certain they run a desperate venture, let the Portion be never so great, thou hadst better be without it, than fasten a Clog to thy Heel, or take a Viper into thy Bosom: let Birds of a Feather get together, what have Birds of Paradise to do with Vultures and Owls? Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a Woman that fears the Lord shall be praised and should be chosen. The like for Servants their skill, parts, strength and fitness are to be look'd to, but Godliness is not to be overlook'd. A wicked Servant may be a curse, a moth to the house, whereas a gracious one will be a blessing, a treasure.

Lastly, You that are Servants in Prayerless Families, supply that defect if you may have leave, only do it humbly, and double your respects to your Governours, if leave for that be denied, be more in secret Communion with your God, tho' they keep a bad House keep you a good Chamber, and if thou mayest honestly remove, do it, the sooner the better. Let not meer secular advantages keep thee there. It is better being out of the warm Sun than out of Gods blessing.

And you that are fixed, as a Wife, Child, an Apprentice, count the want of Family-duty as your Affliction, and groan under it as such, and in your private addresses beg down, if possible, Mercy and Grace upon them. Pray heartily for them who will neither pray for you nor for themselves, the godly p. 312Wife for the ungodly Husband, the gracious Child for the profane Parent, and the Religious Servant for the Wicked Master or Mistress, yea, wrestle mightily in Prayer for them, and with Iacob weep as well as make supplication, and be sure to live up to the Laws of the Relations you stand in, filling up your days with the duties of your places, that though they will not practise Godliness, they may see the power of it in its influences upon you. If the Wife be peaceable and quiet, loyal and loving, respecting and reverencing her Husband, the Children very dutiful and obedient, the servants submissive, diligent and faithful, every one walking in the fear of God, giving no cause of quarrelling with you, or blaspheming Religion for your sakes. In a word, let your whole conversation be as it becometh the Gospel of Christ.

You see I have spent a great deal of time and taken no small pains in studying, preaching, and writing out all this discourse. Oh! that it may not be in vain, but all the better that have heard or shall read it; to that end the good Lord accompany it with his Spirit and blessing▪ bring you to this work, keep you at it, and help you so to manage your selves and families, that after a Life of Prayer on Earth, you may be taken up to a Life of Praise in Heaven where all your Wants shall be supplied, all your Prayers answered, and all your hopes accomplished, then you will see the Word was your best rule, the Ministers of Christ your real Friends, and Religion your grand Interest, when fury shall be poured out upon them that know not God, and Hell shall receive the Families that call not upon his Name, where there shall be no end of their torment and pain, nor of their roaring, cursing, and blaspheming, of that holy, and righteous, but terrible God, whom they would not be persuaded to love, seek and serve.

foreign.