Serious Reflections on Time and Eternity, Tract · Chapter 29
XXIX. Practical and Conſolatory Reflections on the preceding Self-dedication, or Covenant with God.
I Have this day ſolemnly avouched the Lord to be my God, to walk in his ways; thereby to fortifie my Reſolutions, that I and my Deut. 6. c. 17, 18.Houſe, (and All that I can perſuade to be of my mind) will ſerve the Lord. I intend, deſire, and hope never willfully to violate the Faith, which I have now plighted in the preſence of God; but to continue ſtedfaſt, unmoveable; always abounding in the work of the Lord, &c.
Should I undertake any new Imployment, or enter into any new Condition, or change the place of my Abode, where I might ſee more of God's diſhonour, and meet with more and ſtronger Temptations to Sin, and be called to the performance of more difficult duties, greater watchfulneſs and ſelf-denial, &c. I would hope hereby to ingage the preſence of God with me, and his Bleſſing on all my Affairs, (on which depends the ſucceſs of all that I undertake:) and would hope the better to preſerve my Integrity, not only This Year, but in all the remaining portion of my Time, by the abiding ſenſe of my Covenant with God; thus ſeriouſly renewed.
This is the method I have been often advis'd to, for Peace of Conſcience, under doubts and ſcruples concerning my ſpiritual State: to put the matter out of doubt, by again accepting the offered mercy and Grace of the Goſpel; and heartily conſenting to the new Covenant: giving up my ſelf to God in Chriſt, to be ruled and ſaved by him. Bleſſed be God, I have now done ſo. Lord, ſay Amen to thy part of the Covenant, that Thou art and wilt be my God; as I deſire unfeignedly to do to mine, that I will be thy Servant.
But beeauſe Articles are ſooner conſented to, than made good; (tho I ſeriouſly intend never to diſown this my ſolemn Act and Deed, but firmly to adhere to it as long as I live; that having ſworn, I will endeavour to perform it, that this ſhall be my Everlaſting Choice, never to be recanted or alter'd, yet) conſidering the ſad Inſtances of my former weakneſs, and the vigilance and ſubtle malice of my Great Adverſary, I again implore the ſuccour of Divine Grace, to keep it for ever in the purpoſe of my Heart, that it may be as the Laws of the Medes and Perſians, never to be reverſed. I have given up my name to be Thine; O put thy fear into my Heart, that I may never depart from Thee! Imprint thy Laws upon my Heart, that my obedience may be uniform and univerſal, unwavering and perpetual; ſuitable to ſo honourable and near a Relation to Thee! I am ſenſible I want Wiſdom and Strength to that purpoſe, but thou haſt bid me ask it of Thee, who giveſt liberally, to All without deſert, and upbraideſt not, with preſent unworthineſs, or former faults. O lead me not into Temptation, but deliver me from Evil. Stand by and Strengthen me in the Hour of Trial, leſt I forget my vows, and deny Thee. O that my Soul may never draw back, leſt Thine have no Pleaſure in me. I can ſerve no better Maſter; O let mine Ears be bored to the door of thine houſe, as the Token and Aſſurance of my being thy Servant unto Death. I know 'tis my Duty, I am ſenſible 'tis my Privilege and Honour; I am convinc'd, that 'tis my Intereſt and Felicity; my Soul, my Life, my preſent and everlaſting Welfare, and All depends upon it, that thou ſhouldſt be my God for ever: O conduct me by thy Holy Spirit of Grace, that I may walk and act, as having heartily conſented he ſhould be ſo: and direct my Heart into thy Love, and the faithful keeping of thy Commandments. That when ſo many Profeſſors make ſhipwrack of Faith, and a Good Conſcience, and diſcredit the Religion of my Lord, by their ſhameful Falls, thou mayſt make me to ſtand, and improve the warning of their Examples, to walk humbly; and while I ſtand, to take heed leaſt I fall.
Having thus ſurrendred my ſelf to God, what is there, O my Soul! that is ever like to prevail with me to go back, and revolt from him? Is the gratification of a Luſt, the ſecuring of an Eſtate, compliance with a Friend, the pleaſing of a Superior, living in Eaſe and Honour, and outward Proſperity for a little while, the ſaving my Body from Suffering, or my life from Violence, (or what ever elſe be the Motive of my unfaithfulneſs to God, and Apoſtacy from Him) Is Any, is All of theſe any way conſiderable, compared with the Bleſſedneſs of having God to be my God? For thereby I have the forgiveneſs of all my Sins, and the Aſſurance of his Favour; the certainty of preſent Protection, and Proviſion; all Creatures reconciled to me, and to be imployed for my Good, as the Friend of God; All things to work together for my Advantage; and by the evidence of my Adoption, a well grounded Hope of Eternal Life. God as my Sun and Shield, will give Grace and Glory, and with-hold no Good Thing. So unſpeakably Comprehenſive are the Privileges of ſo near a Relation to God in Chriſt. O happy are the People who are in ſuch a caſe! Bleſſed are the Perſons whoſe God is the Lord.
Do I reſolve to abide by my Choice, and to truſt in Chriſt, for perſevering Grace? and ſhall I not, ought I not to take Comfort in it? Shall I not give God the Glory of his infinite Goodneſs, by adhering to him, and rejoycing in him, notwithſtanding all Temptations to the Contrary? Caſting all my Care upon him, and quieting my ſelf in the Alſufficiency of my Heavenly Father: having a God in Covenant, who will ſupply all my wants, and take care of me as his own. Shall I not give him the glory of his Truth and Power, by truſting him in every Condition? By confidence in his Promiſe, Dependance on his Word, Faithfulneſs to his Intereſt, and Conſtancy in his Service to the end? Is it not a moſt encouraging Thought, That God doth never Abandon any, who do not firſt forſake him? And after ſuch ſtrict Engagements, as I have laid upon my ſelf, ſhall I ever ſtrike the fatal ſtroke with my own Hand? Shall I be off and on, ſay and unſay, promiſe and retract? And after I have proceeded thus far, ſhall I forſake the Fountain of Living Waters, and turn again to broken Ciſterns?
After I have examin'd my ſelf, conſider'd my ways, confeſt my Sins, and upon ſerious Deliberation am come to a Reſolve, and in purſuance of it have devoted my ſelf with ſuch ſolemnity to be the Lord's, ſhall I ever after this, forſake Him, and my own Mercies, and lightly eſteem the Rock of my Salvation? Now I have learn'd in ſome meaſure what Sin is, by the ſorrows and anguiſh of an Hearty Repentance; now I have diſcovered ſo much of the Snares and Devices of Satan, whereby I have formerly been betraid: now I am ſenſible of the dangerous and powerful influence and infection of bad Company; the Treachery of fleſhly Luſts; the bewitching Temptations of the World; and have taſted a little, by my own Experience, of the Pleaſantneſs of Wiſdom's Paths, the Peace and Satisfaction of Devotedneſs to God, by the preſent Rewards of a calm Conſcience, the communications of Divine Grace, and the Encouragement of an Holy Hope, &c. and am perſuaded of the Stability of his Word, and the Certainty of Eternal Life to all who continue in well-doing; ſhall I, after all this, ever break with God again? Shall I ever cancel this Engagement? violate this my Vow? and falſifie ſo many repeated Promiſes and Reſolutions? Oh that his Power may reſt upon me! and his Grace work in me both to will and to do! that this God may be my God for ever, and my Guide unto Death. Let me never reaſſume this Gift, and Surrender of my ſelf, or defraud God of his Right and Propriety. His I am, and Him I will ſerve: living wholly to Him; uſing all I have for him: being willing he ſhould do what he liſt with his own, and conſequently diſpoſe of me, and of all that any way belongs to me, as ſhall ſeem Good in his Eyes. I am Thine, O Lord ſave me. Command me my work, appoint me my Duty, direct my Station, order my Condition. Let me be Thine, tho imployed in the meaneſt ſervice, and the moſt laborious ſelf-denying work. Tho I ſhould be but a Doorkeeper in thine Houſe, an Hewer of Wood, or a Drawer of water; Tho I muſt pinch the fleſh, and ſwim againſt the Tide, and renounce what before I valued: yet This God ſhall be my God for ever.
By this means when I come to Dye, (if God ſhould add more years to the little number I have paſt, beſides this I have now begun) I may be able to ſay with Upright Hezekiah, Remember Lord, how I have walked before Thee in mine Integrity. That in the face of Death, and the Grave, in the view of another World, and the near proſpect of Eternity, I may be able to Rejoyce in Hope, and Say, Lord Jeſus, Receive my Spirit. Thou art my Saviour, and I have waited for thy Salvation. I have ſought Thee with my whole Heart; I have choſen thy Favour rather than Worldly Grandeur and Proſperity; I have prized thy Love, and endeavour'd to obey Thee, (as the beſt Expreſſion of my own) tho with many Imperfections, which I bewail; I have delighted more in thy Service and Preſence, than in the Pleaſures of Sin and vanity; thy Teſtimonies have been the Joy of my Heart; I took no delight in the Company of the ungodly, after I was devoted to Thee; O let me not have my Portion with them in the other World! Fortifie me now againſt the King of Terrors, ſtrengthen me in this my laſt Conflict, enable me to triumph over Death by the Croſs of Chriſt, (my victorious Redeemer) and carry me through the dark valley, at the divorce of Soul and Body; and grant me an abundant entrance into thine heavenly Kingdom; Let me be numbred among thy Choſen, and my Body wait in Hope, 'till the general Reſurrection, that I may then ſee thy Glory, and dwell with Thee for ever.
I gave up my ſelf to Thee, and do not Repent my Choice; acknowledg me now for Thine, and do not loſe that which is thy own. Lord Jeſus! Thou haſt paid my Ranſom, to deliver me from Satan, and from Eternal Wrath, oh do not now reject me, and caſt me off. Is it not thine Office and Covenant to ſave thoſe that Truſt in thee? Oh remembr thy Word unto thy Servant, wherein thou haſt cauſed me to Hope, when I ventur'd my Salvation on thy Promiſe, and truſted to thy Gracious Word for Eternal Life. Thy Love hath already overcome the greateſt impediments of my Salvation. 'Tis as eaſie now to receive me, as to Love me. Thou haſt prepared Glory for thy Redeemed ones; and haſt bid me believingly to follow thee, and wait for thy Salvation. Thou haſt begotten me to a lively hope, by the Incorruptible Seed of the Word; Let me not now be depriv'd of the Inheritance. Can that Love that pitied me in my Blood, and fetcht me from the Gates of Hell, now ſuffer me to fall into it? Oh Crown thy Grace, and perfect thy Preparatory Mercy, with Everlaſting Mercy.
By voluntary Conſent and Choice, thou art my God; and thy Preſence in Heaven, my ultimate Felicity; I have truſted to thy Gracious Promiſe, to prepare me for it, and bring me to it; O fulfil thy Word unto thy Servant, wherein thou haſt cauſed me to hope; and mercifully receive my departing Soul, that ſeeks Thee, that loves Thee, that breathes after Thee, and deſires nothing but to know Thee better, and love Thee more, and be more entirely conform'd to thine Image, and live always in thy Bleſſed Preſence. Thou haſt called me out of the World, plac'd thine Image upon me, enabled me to make it my Buſineſs, though with many Imperfections, to ſerve, and pleaſe, and honour Thee; Oh Receive me to the fulneſs of thy Love and Grace, and preſent me faultleſs before the Preſence of thy Glory, with exceeding Joy. Amen, Holy Father, be it unto me according to thy Word; through the Merits and Interceſſion of my Alſufficient Saviour, Jeſus Chriſt, the Faithful and True Witneſs, in whom all thy Promiſes are Yea, and Amen.