Family Religion, Letter 2
Of Family Religion.
The SECOND LETTER.
SIR,
I Am ſenſible that a great deal more might be ſaid, and more Methodically, to prove and urge ſo important a Duty, as Family Religion and Worſhip, than what I have mentioned in the former Letter. What is done in the midſt of many Interruptions, now a little, and then a little, cannot be expected ſhould have that Beauty, Order, and Exactneſs of Method and Connexion, which you may think neceſſary. However, I proceed to what I promiſed, in anſwer to ſome Objections: Only let me premiſe, that it is foretold concerning the days of the Meſſiah, when the Spirit of Grace and Supplication ſhall be poured out on the Houſe of David, and on the Inhabitants of Jeruſalem; when the Multitude of the Iſles ſhall rejoyce, and all Fleſh ſhall ſee the Glory of the Lord; That Holineſs to the Lord, (which was the Inſcription on the Mitre of the High Priest) ſhall be upon the very Bells of the Horſes, and the Pots in the Lord's Houſe, or the Ordinary Pots in the Kitchins of the Temple, ſhall be like the Bowls before the Altar, *Zech. 12.10. chap. 14.20, 21.which received the Blood of the Sacrifices; Yea every Pot in Judah, and Jeruſalem, ſhall be Holineſs unto the Lord of Hoſts: That is, the Utenſils of Private Houſes ſhall be dedicated to God, every Family ſhall be a Temple, wherein God ſhall be worſhiped.
And as God required of the Jews a Continual Burnt-Offering, or a daily Sacrifice of two Lambs; the one in the Morning, the other in the Evening: It may be expected that ſo often (at leaſt) he ſhould be worſhiped every Day in the Families of his People. Our daily Sacrifices, by Prayer and Praiſe, under the fuller Diſpenſation of Goſpel-Grace, ſhould not be fewer or leſs frequent than theirs of another ſort.
But I hope I have ſaid enough in the Former Letter to recommend the Worſhip of God in Families; Doubtleſs one Advantage of it would be, to ſit us for thoſe other Duties, and Parts of Worſhip, which are ſometimes urged to excuſe the Neglect of this. For how many are ready to ſay, we pray to God every day in Secret, and we joyn every Week with others in Publick Worſhip; and what need of any more? Whereas one part of our Duty is ſo far from interfering with the other, that the one will help to the better performance of the other. By praying in Secret, you will be inabled to pray in your Family: and by both theſe may obtain Aſſiſtance and Succeſs in the Publick Worſhip of God; and by attending upon the Publick Worſhip, you will be fitted for the other parts of your Duty in Secret and Private. You are obliged to pray in Secret, if you had no Families; and it is very doubtful, in a numerous Family, whether all the Members of it do daily pray in Secret, or not.
If it be ſaid, that there are very many of thoſe who make a great Profeſſion of Religion, who yet live in the neglect of Family Worſhip; I anſwer, that is no wonder, becauſe there be many who profeſs to be what they are not; who have a Name to live, and are dead. But if they be real, upright Chriſtians, they are either under the Power of a preſent Temptation, or under the Conduct of an erring Mind, as miſled by ſome Falſe Teachers, &c. and ſo they will neglect this Duty no longer, than till their Errour be removed; or the preſent Difficulties in the way of this Practice are got over; which many ſay they would be glad of, but cannot yet attain.
As in ſome Families it is pretended they have not Time every day for ſuch Work: My Trade will not allow me, I have a Charge of Children that muſt be maintained, and my Buſineſs muſt be minded; or I am obliged to be Abroad early and late; I cannot read the Holy Scriptures in my Family, and pray every day with thoſe of the Family, for want of Time.
I have often thought of this Objection this Winter, and how the Providence of God has removed it, as to a great many Families, to their ſad Diſappointment and Sorrow. What elſe mean the many Complaints of Starving Families, for want of Trade? They have Time enough now to pray, for they have no Work. Let ſuch reflect upon themſelves, and conſider how righteous it is from God, that whereas, while they had Trade and Buſineſs, they would not find Time to pray, God ſhould puniſh their Neglect by blaſting their Endeavours; and now they want Trade, and would be glad of Work to employ their Time.
But what need is there for any to be ſo long in Family-Worſhip, as to hinder the Buſineſs of their particular Calling? Though it may be, all in the Family cannot come together, yet ſome may, and poſſibly the greater part, if a little Prudence, and Conſideration be uſed, as to the choice of the Time.
And if leſs time were ſpent in the Morning, in moſt caſes there might be more redeemed in the Evening. Many might redeem time from the Coffee-Houſe, and from the Tavern, and from time-waſting Clubs, and Meetings by appointment, without Buſineſs; while their Children and Servants at home are expoſed to Temptation, and the Worſhip of God neglected there, or hudled over ſlightly, towards midnight, between ſleeping and waking.
Every one will grant, that Succeſs in his Trade and Calling depends upon the Bleſſing of Heaven; but moſt live as if they believed nothing of it. For it can hardly be denied, that to begin the Day with God, and heartily implore his Bleſſing, is the beſt way to have it. If what you get be not accompanied with the Divine Bleſſing, you will have little Comfort in ſuch increaſe. And how can it be proved, that it is your Duty to graſp ſo much Worldly Buſineſs, as is inconſiſtent with the worſhiping of God in your Families, and having time to mind the Souls of thoſe committed to your Charge? Buſineſs, you ſay, muſt be minded. Your lawful proper Buſineſs, it is true, muſt be ſo, in its place: But, as one ſays, this Devil of (pretended) Buſineſs, has deſtroyed and damned more Souls, than all the Devils in Hell beſides.
How eaſily can God, by Sickneſs, or grievous Pains, unfit you for the buſineſs of your Calling, or diſable your Servants by Sickneſs, if he be provoked by your neglect of him in your Families? He may either blaſt all your Diligence; the Curſe of God ſhall blow upon you; you ſhall labour much and get nothing. Or he may diſable you and yours from following your Trade and Buſineſs. O how eaſily can God make you know, that if you will not find a time to pray, you muſt have a time to be ſick, as well as others! How ſoon, and ſuddenly may he ſummon you by Death to his Judgment-Seat! Think now, whether, when you ſhall appear there, you will pretend the want of time for this Work. Let Conſcience ſpeak the Truth; Is it not that you want a Heart? God allows us a ſufficient Time for our particular Calling. If our Hearts were filled with Love to God, and awed with his Holy Fear, we ſhould not rob him of that which belongs to his Service. The Grace of God to ſanctify our Hearts, would anſwer and remove a thouſand ſuch Pretences.
There be many, who cannot plead the want of Leaſure, who pretend the want of Parts, and Gifts to inſtruct and teach others, or to pray with them. But let them ſeriouſly accuſtom themſelves to ſecret Prayer, and they may quickly learn to pray in their Families. Get but your Hearts affected in a due manner with Family Wants, and Sins, and Mercies; and you will ſoon be able out of the abundance of the Heart, to expreſs your ſelves ſufficiently well: For it is not fine Words, and good Language that God regards, and is pleaſed with, but a ſerious, reverend, holy, thankful Heart. You do not want words to expreſs your Deſires in other Caſes; nor would you here, if you were to beg your own Life, or that of a dear Relation, of an earthly King or Judge. It is a ſhame for Chriſtians, who have lived long under the Miniſtry of the Goſpel, and have ſuch Advantages of the Bible in a known Tongue, and of ſo many uſeful practical Books, to pretend the want of Gifts for this Duty. However, rather uſe a Form, and take the Aſſiſtance of a Book for a while, than wholly neglect the Duty. Almoſt all the Old Divines (called Puritans) acknowledged the Lawfulneſs of a Form of Prayer, and adviſed the uſe of one in this Caſe. It is better to own and acknowledge God, and do ſomething in this kind, though with ſome Imperfection, than affront him, and deſpiſe him, by a total neglect. And for ſome Maſters of Families, (I know not, all Circumſtances conſidered, but) the uſe of a good Form, may be more adviſable, and more for the good of thoſe with whom they joyn, than to pray without One. All things ſhould be done for Edifieation; and for thoſe to uſe a Form, who cannot otherwiſe do ſo well, is for Edification: And Experience will prove that ſome cannot do ſo well without one.
I deny not, but the Spirit of Grace is a Spirit of Supplication, and ready to aſſiſt and enable us in ſome meaſure to pray: ſo that if you neglect not the Gift that is in you, you would increaſe in this, and other Gifts by Exerciſe. The Holy Scriptures will furniſh you with Matter and Expreſſions; and if you ſtudy your own Hearts, and obſerve the ſtate of your Family, you will be competontly able to apply them: And God will afford you that Aſſiſtance of his Holy Spirit which is needful. As in the Caſe of Moſes, he excuſes himſelf from ſpeaking to Pharoah, as God would have him, becauſe he was not cloquent, but ſlow of ſpeech. The Lord ſaid to Moſes, Exod. 4.11. Who veaketh the Dumb to ſpeak? Who hath made Man's Mouth? Have not I the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with thy Mouth, teach thee what thou ſhalt ſay. His Call to ſpeak to Pharach was Extraordinary, and ſo was his promiſed Aſſiſtance from God. Yours to Family Prayer is Ordinary; and the Ordinary Help, and Aſſiſtance you therein need, you may likewiſe expect.
It is a greater Diſconragement to others from the daily Worſhip of God in their Families, that they are often compoſed of ſuch Perſons, as care not to joyn in ſuch Duties: Or they are ſuch Scoffers, that it is a ſcruple whether they ſhould be ſuffered to be preſent, if they were willing. Some had rather pray alone, than indeavour, or deſire ſuch Company; they think they had better leave them out, than have their preſence, who will not heartily joyn in the Requeſts that are made to God, and who deſire not his Grace, or ſeek his Favour.
To ſuch it may be ſaid, That it is the Duty even of wicked Men to pray to God: and you know not what ſucceſs their joyning with you may be attended with. Some have dated their firſt Conviction and Converſion, from Family Prayer and Inſtruction. You knowing the Sins of thoſe in your Family, ſhould be very ſerious in the Confeſſion of Sin; and God may touch their Hearts, and give them Repentance. However, if you look to your own Hearts, and do not regard Iniquity there, the Wickedneſs of others in the Family ſhall not be laid to your Charge, while you do what lies in you for their Recovery. The Preſence of Judas with our Lord and Saviour, when he prayed with his Diſciples, did not render them unacceptable to God: For I know, ſays Chriſt to his Father, thou heareſt me always. If you are ſincere in your Worſhip, the Preſence of unworthy Perſons will not obſtruct your Acceptance with God. Another Man's Unbelief will not prejudice thy Faith. If you ſhould ſcruple to pray in your Families on that account; What think you of a Miniſter's Prayer in the Publick Congregation? If any neglect Family Worſhip on this Pretence, they are moſt likely to be ſuch, as refuſe to come to the Lord's Table, becauſe of the Admiſſion of ſuppoſed unworthy. Perſons, But how is it that they come to hear the Word, and join in publick Prayer in the Congregation, while this Objection is ſtronger there, than with reference to Prayer in their own Houſes?
The Authority of Parents as to their Children is ſo manifeſt, and their Duty to oblige them to join in the Worſhip of God is ſo plain; that it is principally as to ſcornful, or ſtubborn Servants, that this Objection ſpeaks. And as to them, unleſs they prove much otherwiſe than you thought they would, you were greatly to blame in admitting ſuch: And after trial of other Means for their Conviction and Cure, if they can be removed, you ought to do it, Pſal. 101.4, 5, 7. A froward Heart ſhall depart from me, a Slanderer will I cut off; He that telleth Lies ſhall not tarry in my ſight, or dwell in my Houſe. But where is the Authority of the Head of a Family all this while? Should they not obſerve your Orders in Matters of Trade and Buſineſs, you would quickly let them know you were their Maſters. And does that Relation ſignify nothing to them, while they dwell under your Roof, and are imployed in your Service? Doth not the Fourth Commandment ſuppoſe a Maſter's Authority to bring his Family to worſhip God with him? And your Concern for their Souls chligeth you to endeavour it.
There is one very common Objection, that I fear, has too much of ſad Truth for the Foundation of it, viz. That many of thoſe, who pray in their Families, and read the Holy Scriptures there, and keep up the Externals of Religion beyond their Neighbours, do yet live no better, than ſuch as pray not; their Children are no better than other Mens Children; their Servants are no better than other Mens Servants; they themſelves no better than their prayerleſs Neighbours: They are one thing on their Knees, and another on their Feet. They are as vain and worldly, as proud and paſſionate, as hard to the Poor, as falſe in their Dealings, as revengeful and inexorable, as others, &c.
Would to God there were no ground for this Objection. Wo be to the World becauſe of ſuch Offences, but wo be to them by whom they come. Who can tell what unſpeakable Miſchief ſuch do, who keep up the Worſhip of God in their Families, and yet walk diſorderly in their daily Converſations? Who begin with God in the Morning, and keep Company with the Devil all the Day after. What Stumbling-blocks do they lay in the way of ignorant Children, and ungodly Servants, and Neighbours, who are acquainted with it? They tempt them to be Atheiſts, and deny God, and make them queſtion the Reality of Religion. But whatever Hypocriſie any ſuch may be guilty of in ſuch like Duties, it will not diſcharge you from the Obligation to perform them ſincerely. You may as well refuſe to join in publick Worſhip, becauſe ſome conſtant Hearers are no better than ſome of thoſe who ſtay away, and turn their Backs upon all ſuch poſitive Inſtitutions.
However, it is not the Fruit of their praying, but the want of Seriouſneſs and Sincerity, which provokes God to leave them to the Power of Temptation. It is not long of Chriſt, and of the Holy Scriptures, and of Religion, and of Chriſtianity, that any profeſſing Chriſtians are ſo bad. No Ruler was ever ſo ſevere againſt Sin, as Jeſus Chriſt; no Law was ever ſo ſtrict in the forbidding Sin, as the Laws of Chriſt: The Rule is ſtreight, and the Chriſtian Religion is not to be blamed, becauſe ſome that profeſs it are not true to their own Profeſſion: They condemn themſelves, and diſhonour God, and reproach their Lord and Saviour, and without Repentance he will condemn them too; Pſal. 50.17. Theſe things baſt thou done, and I kept ſilence; thou thoughteſt I was altogether ſuch a one as thy ſelf; but I will reprove thee, and ſet thy Sins in order before thee. I will reject your Sacrifices, I will ſpread the Dung of your ſolemn Services before your Face; Your very Prayers ſhall witneſs againſt you.
A Caution yet is needful here, To take heed of bearing falſe Witneſs, or eaſily believing one againſt our Neighbour. Do not haſtily credit every Story you are told, againſt ſuch as profeſs Religion. For the Devil imploys a great many to do his Work, by defaming and diſcrediting ſuch. Every leſſer Fall of ſuch a one ſhall be blazoned: Though it were but a ſingle Fault, committed but once, and ſoon and heartily repented of, and ſeldom or never relapſed into; it ſhall yet be longer talk'd of, and more aggravated, than the cuſtomary, continued, foul Miſcarriages of others. This is ſeen daily among ſuch, whoſe Hearts are filled with Enmity againſt real Holineſs.
Granting therefore, (what is too notorious to be denied) that ſome Few, who pray to God every Day, do yet live as if they believed there were none; yet compare the Families of ſuch as daily worſhip God together, with the Families of others, that neglect God and Religion; and it is not ordinarily true, that the former are no better than the latter: The Families of ſuch are commonly the Nurſeries of Religion. Was not Noah's Family better than the drowned World, though there were one Cham in it? as there was one Judas in the Family of Chriſt Himſelf? What would you think of a Man, ſays Mr. Baxter, who, looking over his Neighbour's Garden, when his own is all over-run with Weeds, and wholly neglected, ſhould ſee in his Neighbour's Ground here and there a Weed, mixt with much better Stuff; and thereupon ſhould ſay, Theſe Men that beſtow ſo much Pains about their Gardens, in dunging and weeding, &c. yet they have Weeds in their Garden, as well as thoſe that do nothing; therefore who would be at ſo much pains? Thus fooliſhly do People talk of thoſe that pray, and read, and inſtruct their Families, and hear Sermons, &c. they have their Faults, as well as others; wicked Perſons amongſt them, as well as others; their Children and Servants are bad, as well as ours. But they conſider not, that it is not the whole Garden that is over-run with Weeds, as yours is, it is but here and there a Weed; and as ſoon as they ſpy any, they pluck them up, and do what they can to prevent their growth and ſpreading.
There is ſome Difficulty indeed as to thoſe whoſe Lot is caſt into prayerleſs Families, who would be glad with all their Hearts, to have the Worſhip of God kept up; but have either no power, or prevalency to bring it about. My Lot is caſt into ſuch an ignorant, worldly, prophane Family, ſays a religious Servant, where they call not upon the Name of God from Week to Week, or at moſt, never more than once a Week. If this be the Caſe of an Apprentice, and bound by his Parents, who ſhould have choſen better for him; he may bear it the better, as hoping God will not charge it as his Fault. But if you raſhly ingaged your ſelves into ſuch a Family, becauſe it was a place of more Eaſe, or more Profit; you ought to repent, and beg of God forgiveneſs; and be afraid leſt ſome ſpiritual Judgment, and it may be temporal too, ſhould follow you. You ought to remove into a better Air, as ſoon as you can conveniently. But let me beg you, as you tender the Honour of God, and the Credit of Religion; while you ſtay in ſuch a wicked family, indeavour with utmoſt Humility, Modeſty, Seriouſneſs, and Circumſpection, to adorn your Profeſſion; to leave a Conviction in the Conſcience of thoſe with whom you dwell, that ſerious Godlineſs doth make the beſt Servants. How ſad is it, if by you who profeſs Religion, your ungodly Maſters or Fellow-Servants ſhould be hardened, and ſtumbled, and prejudiced againſt the holy Ways of God! It may fall out that if you carry it ſo, as to win the Love of all, you ſhall have an Opportunity offered, humbly to ſuggeſt, and urge ſomething to promote Family-Prayer and Worſhip; and poſſibly obtain to have it begun. Be ſure, however, that you be more diligent and conſtant in ſecret Prayer. The leſs help you have in the Family, the more ſhould you redeem to be alone with God. But Servants who value the Welfare of their Souls, and their Improvement in Grace, ſhould take heed what Families they chuſe to dwell in. Do not, out of choice, place your ſelves in a Houſe where God doth not dwell; to which the Curſe of God according to his Word, is threatened. You know he dwells in the Houſe of Prayer; His own Houſe is ſuch, and ours ſhould be ſo too; and he inhabits the Praiſes of his People.
My caſe is yet worſe, may ſome object; I am Son to a prayerleſs Father, and I cannot leave the Houſe; Or I am Wife to a Husband that minds not God, or his own Soul, much leſs mine, or any in the Family. The like Advice as was given before to religious Servants, is fit to be taken here; viz. to ſpend the more time in ſecret Prayer, and Cloſet Devotion, and to pray the more earneſtly and fervently for ſuch a Relation, who is the Head of a Family, and yet neglects the Duty of his place. The holy fervent Prayer of a believing Child, or Wife, may help to ſave an unbelieving Parent, or Huſband; It may obtain Grace from God to turn his Heart. In the next Sickneſs, or under the next worldly Croſs or Diſappointment, or Family-ſtrait and Affliction, you may have a Seaſon offer'd with Meekneſs to ſuggeſt this, and other Duties; and who can tell the Succeſs? However, take heed to adorn your Profeſſion; and let ſuch near Relations, with whom you are obliged to dwell, be convinced by your Chriſtian Carriage, of the Amiableneſs and Excellency of a Holy Life, and be made to think and ſpeak well of practical Godlineſs.
If the Parent, or Husband be either unfit or unwilling to pray in the Family; can you not obtain that ſome other may do it in his room and ſtead? Though it be the proper Work of the Maſter of the Family, yet in many Caſes another may be ſubſtituted; even an holy Servant ſometimes, with the Maſter's leave and deſire. Or, in his Sickneſs or Abſence, I know not why, in divers Caſes, the Wife, who is to ſhare in the Government of the Family, may not perform Family-Prayer, at leaſt with thoſe of her own Sex; and with all the Family if ſhe be a Widow; and if ſhe be a Wife, why not in the Husband's Abſence? For if he do not his Duty in this particular, what reaſon is there, that ſhe may not be the Mouth of the Family to God in Prayer, rather than it ſhould be omitted?
Theſe plain things I offer'd and recommended with Seriouſneſs to remove the common Objections, Pleas, and Excuſes for the neglect of Family-Religion and Worſhip, and touching the Duty of the ſeveral Relations in Religious Families. If any may be hereby confirm'd, or convinc'd, I know you will rejoyce with me, and bleſs God.
I am Yours.