The True Christians T est, Part 1 · Meditation 43
MEDITAT. XLIII. Of Immoderate Mourning, or Impatience.
IMmoderate Sorrow for the want or loſs of worldly things, ſprings from an intemperate love of the World. It is certainly a preferring of worldly things, before the Will and Wiſdom of God: Here by we contradict it, reſiſt it; we would deſtroy it if we could, and ſet up our own wills in its ſtead.
It is very fooliſh too: For if we bind up our hearts in worldly thing, and they happen to flie away, they carry away our hearts too, and leave us dead and beſotted.
It worketh death ſometimes in the plainest ſenſe; men go down into the Grave by mourning: but in a ſpiritual ſenſe certainly. It is fatal and damnable, if predominant
It muſt be confeſt, that many good People have had Fits, Paſſions of this; but this will not juſtifie, it was unſeemly in them; let us beware that that be not predominant and habitual in us, which in them was only a violence, a ſudden Fit or Paſſion, which they ſubdu'd preſently, and ever repented of.
This Impatience of Evils is very unreaſonable. Shall we receive good at the hands of God, and not evil? Who am I, poor, proud, ſinful Wretch, that I ſhould fanſie my ſelf to be ſuch a Darling of Heaven, that it ſhould not ſo much as ſuffer the cold Air to breathe upon me? Shall I be glad to receive the good which I have not deſerved, and be angry to bear the evil that I have?
It is unreaſonable upon God's account too. The degree and duration of all ſickneſs is weighed out exactly by an infinitely wiſe mind: The Cup that is given us to drink is mingled, and preſented by our heavenly Father. Moreover, this wiſe God is infinitely kind too; He doth not willingly afflict, nor delight to grieve the children of men, Lam. 3. 33. He would not afflict them, but for ſome good that he hath in view.
When we pray, That the Will of God may be done, it ſeems we mean his will of kindneſs onelyonly: Lord, we are willing that thou ſhouldſt bleſs us, and do us as much good as may be; but nothing of thy afflicting Will, oh No: Or if that muſt be done, let it be done upon others, not upon us. Oh rarely diſtinguiſht; as if we ſhould ſay, Our Father, we deſire that thy Will may be done and executed univerſally; but yet with this limitation and reſtriction, that it do not croſs our wills at any time. Or will we underſtand our Prayers ſo, as that all men ſhould be ready to do the Will of God, but not that God ſhould do his own Will? Rare Divinity!
Oh but my impatience and immoderate mourning over loſſes of Eſtate, Relations, Health, doth not proceed from any over-valuation of them, but from the ſenſe of God's diſpleaſure, he afflicts me for my ſin; this Providence is a judgment, a puniſhment; and may I not, ought I not to lay it to heart?
Anſw. You believe ſo; and therefore you infer, that it is reaſonable to be impatient: You do well, I warrant, to be angry, and intemperate. And I pray, why ſhould we not be content that God ſhould puniſh us for our faults? Ought we not to ſubmit to the Diſcipline of our heavenly Father, as well as to the Parents of our fleſh? It is hard to ſay when God puniſhes his Children for their faults; but be ſure however, that it is for their amendment. And to be impatient, that we are corrected for our faults, is an ill kind of Repentance, it adds faults to faults.
Good God, mold my will into thy holy Will! Thou art fatherly and friendly in thy Corrections; rather ſmite me, than not recover me; rather make up my way with thorns, than ſ…ffer me to wander from thee: make me willing to give my back to the Smiter, than to periſh for want of chaſtiſement! Let my afflictions bring forth the pleaſant fruits of Righteouſneſs, not the ſowre and harſh fruits of Impatience!