The Doubting Believer, Chapter 1
CAP. I. The nature of Doubtings.
TO underſtand this, you Four qualities in the ſoule. Joh. 12. 48 Heb. 12. 25muſt know, that in the worſt part of the ſoul, there are ſeverall qualities, viz. 1. Infidelity, which ſtrictly and amongſt thoſe which profeſſe the Goſpel, is a poſitive rejecting of heavenly truths, with their ſecret goodneſſe; herein men forſake their owne mercies by plain diſſents and ſleightings of the good word of grace: as is evident in the Phariſees, Luk. 7. 30. who rejected the counſell of God, &c.
2. Deſpaire, which is a manifeſt diſſent, not ſo much in reſpect of the thing, or object, (for this is aſſented unto as true in reſpect of it ſelfe, viz. That God is mercifull, and Chriſt did die for ſinners) but in reſpect of the perſon or ſubject, wherein the ſoule gives up it ſelf as loſt, as without the compaſſe and As Jer. 2. 25. There is no hope: no.hopefulneſſe of the divine proclamation: It is perſwaded that there is no poſſibility for it to recover the ſhore, and therefore ſinks in the depths: My meaning is, That ſuch a ſoule, Eſa. 38. 18 They that goe down into the pit cannot hope for thy truth: This holds not onelyonly in the pit of the grave, but alſo in the pit of deſpaire.though it ſees that in God, and that in Chriſt which can ſave, and doth ſave others, yet cuts off it ſelf as not at all capable of any intereſt in the merciemercy of God, or bloud of Chriſt, and ſo eternally falls under its owne weight, as is evident in Judas and Cain.
Now Deſpaire, ſo farre as it makes aſſent unto Truths, it is oppoſed unto Infidelity; and ſo farre as it diſſents from ſpeciall goodneſſe in them, it is oppoſed to Faith; and ſo farre as it concludes impoſſibility of that good unto it ſelfe, it is oppoſed to Hope.
3. Fearfull opinions, which are poſitive aſſents unto Truths, yet raiſed upon ſuch probable inducements onelyonly, that the ſoule is left with a ſuſpition, that the contrary may be true. They are like a man upon a Simile.weak plank in a great river, there he ſits, and there he fears, becauſe he knows not certainly how long he ſhall ſit there.
4. Doubtings, which are the ſuſpenſions or inhibitions (the holdings up) of the ſoule from any determinate inclinations one way or other: they are the pawſings of the mind.
As take a man in a journey, Simile.where he meets with two waies, he looks on this, and inclines it may be the right, and then he looks on that, and ſuppoſeth that it may be the right, and then he looks upon both, and …akes a ſtand, and goes on in neither: So it is with the ſo…le in doubtings (ſpiritually) There are two wayes before it, two objects, two works, to beleeve, …r not to beleeve, and *Dictated from the ſpirit, and from the fleſh; from that, by way of perſwaſion; from this, by way of diſſwaſion.arguments to incline to the one, and …o the other, drawing into ſome equality of ſtrength and weight; …uſt like a paire of ſcales, anſwerably ballanced, ſo that both are …at a ſtand, there is no turning either to the right hand nor to the left. Therefore the Schoolmen ſay well, that Dubitatio eſt motus ſupra utram que partem contradictionis, cum formidine determinandi alteram partem ejus.
That you may yet conceive 3. Things to be further obſerved.this clearly, remember 1. In our minds there are Aſſentings, which are the adherents of the underſtanding to truths known: And there are Diſſentings, which are the bearings off from thoſe truths. There the ſoule poſitively inclines, here it declines; there it puts out the hand, and here it keeps it in.
2. Doubtings properly ſtand betweene them both; they are not plainly the one, nor plainly the other: If I may ſpeak freely, I conceive them to have a twang of either; they are a medium, a middle thing, as your mixt colours are which you cannot ſtyle directly white, or directly black.
The ſoule hath a deſire to joyne unto Truth, it hath a deſire to ſhare in that goodneſſe which it apprehends; yet it neither Doubtings are ſtagge…ings. Rom. 4. 20faſtens, nor yet rejects, but like the fiſh to the bait, it likes it, and is ſtriking at it, but dares not, and ſwims about; or like Simile.a wave of the ſea, (that is the Apoſtles compariſon, James 1. 6.) thruſting to the ſhore, and yet drawing back; or like a Meteor hovering in the aire twixt up and downe: Such rowling, reeling actions of the ſoule are doubtings; they are a recoyling adventuring: The ſoule ſees reaſon of either ſide, to draw, and withdraw, to give on, and to give back. It ſees Chriſt and the promiſes, knowes the goodneſſe and bounty in the one and the other, whereupon it is giving on upon them, and putting out the hand, but then inſtantly it checks it ſelfe, and is ſtayed with contrary arguments and feares; I may not be ſo bold, Perhaps they belong not unto me.
So that the perſon is hanging betwixt hope and feare, I would, but I may not; I may, but I dare not: It is juſt with the ſoul as with thoſe at Cheſſe, they ſet out a man, and think to take a King, but then preſently they are checked, and draw him back againe: God he is my Lord and my King, nay and yet he is not; He will do me good, yet I feare he will not; He hath pardoned my ſins, and yet I fear he hath not; He doth heare my prayer, yet I doubt he doth not; My eſtate is good and happy, nevertheleſſe I ſuſpect it is not.
Thus doth a man waver, and rowle, and is like a man in the Simile.ungrounded places, he no ſooner plucks up one leg out of the dirt, but the other …inks in▪ the ſoule is not determined one way or other.
3. One thing know more, that though the mind doth not pitch or riſe unto a determinate action in ſpirituall doubtings, yet it ever inclines towards a determinate object: That is, Note.though the doubting Chriſtian cannot come yet to quit thoſe uncertaine, and trembling, and ſhivering motions, and bring them to a ſtayedneſſe, and poſitive fixing, yet his mind hones, it lookes after Chriſt and the promiſes; it doth not reject, nor doth it give up all hopes; it keeps in it two things, which Infideli…y and Deſpaire want.
1. One is, that it priſeth 2. Things.Chriſt and the promiſes, though it cannot claſpe them.
2. Another is, that it gives not up the caſe as deſperate and impoſſible; but though it cannot fixe, yet it will be hovering about them.