A Persuasive to a Holy Life, Tract · Chapter 10
CHAP. X. Of Friends.
Sixthly, FRiends are no ſmall comfort and addition to our Happineſs or Well-being in this World: Scarce any outward Bleſſing ſo deſirable, uſeful, and beneficial as Friendſhip. Cicer… ſaith, Non aquâ non igni pluribus in l…cis utimur quàam amicitiâ: We have not more frequent uſe of Fire and Water, than we have of Friendſhip. Nothing ſo agreeable to Nature as it, (ſaith the ſame Author) nothing ſo convenient either for Proſperity, or Adverſity: Nothing more pleaſant and delightful than the ſincere love and affection of a Faithful Friend, and a reciprocal love of him; nothing more acceptable than his Society and Converſe.
But beſides the pleaſure and delight which Friendſhip affords us, we reap many and great Benefits from it. As,
1. Faithful Counſel and Advice, which is of great moment in any doubtful Matter; it being true, Plus vident oculi quàm oculus: Many Eyes ſee more than one: Or any Matter of weighty concernment, wherein it is not ſafe to truſt to our own Judgments, Prov. 27.9. Ointment and perfume rej…ice the heart; ſo doth the ſweetneſs of a man's friend by hearty counſel. How great comfort muſt it needs be to have one whom we may ſecurely unboſom our ſelves to, and truſt with a Secret? to whom we may open our Griefs? diſburthen our Minds, and ſo find eaſe and relief?
2. Seaſonable Reproof: This (ſaith the Author of the Whole Duty of Man) is of all others the moſt peculiar Duty of a Friend. I might add, the greateſt benefit he can beſtow upon his Friend, it being indeed that which none elſe is qualified for. Such an unwilingneſs there is in moſt men to hear of their faults, that thoſe that undertake that Work, had need have a great prepoſſeſſion of their Hearts to make them patient of it. Of the abſurdity and unreaſonableneſs of this unwillingneſs to be reproved, Cicero ſa…th very well, Atque illud abſurdum eſt, quod ii qui monentur, eam moleſt…am quam debent capere non capiunt, eam capiunt quâ debent carere. Pecc…ſſe enim ſe non anguntur, objurgari m…leſtè ferunt : qu…d c…ntra oportebat, delicto dolere, objurgatio…e gaudere. It is abſurd, that they which are admoniſhed receive not thence the trouble which they ought to have, but that which they ought to want. For they are not ſorry that they have ſinned, but they take it ill that they are reproved. Whereas on the contrary they ought to grieve for their Offence, but rejoice for their Reproof.
3. Condoleance and Co…ſolation in any Adverſity, Affliction, or Suffering; as Sickneſs, the Death of any near Relation or Friend, loſs of Worldly Goods by Fire, Shipwrack, Innundation, Invaſion of Enemies, or the like. He that condoles with his Friend in ſuch Accidents, doth as it were bear p…rt of his Burthen, and by conſolatory Conſiderations ſtrengthens his Spirit, and enables him to ſupport it. And there is great need of this to ſome Natures, which otherwiſe are in danger to be oppreſſed and overwhelmed with Grief, and even diſtracted by ſuch Calamities.
4. Relief and Supply of Want in caſe of Poverty and Neceſſity; a true Friend as well as a Brother is born for adverſity, and will rather rejoice in contributing liberally to the ſupport of his Friend, than deſert him, or deny his aſſiſtance. In this caſe Friends may be a ſnare to us, tempting us to put our confidence in Man rather than God, and to think our Security greater in the multitude of friends, than the providence and protection of God.
5. Prayers to God for us, recommending us to him for all Bleſſings, both Spiritual and Temporal.
Now all true Friendſhip is grounded upon Vertue: Virtus amicitiam & gignit & conti…et, nec ſine virtute Amicitia ull… pacto eſſe poteſt, Cic. de Amicitia. Virtue doth both beget and maintain friendſhip; nor can there poſſibly be any frienſhip without Vertue. True friends are ſuch as ſincerely deſire and endeavour each others real good, both ſpiritual and temporal; but ſuch friendſhip cannot be contracted and continued but only between perſons truly religious, that love and fear God. We cannot expect fidelity and the benefits before recited from any but thoſe who are ſo qualified: And thoſe that are ſo, their friendſhip is courted by all Men, and who ſo happy as they that can get an intereſt in it!