Letters in Two Parts, Part 2 · LETTER 32
To my Lady BOYD. (32)
MADAM.
I Received your La: letter: but because I was still going through the countrey for the affairs of the Church, I have had no time to answer it. I had never more cause to fear then I have now, when my Lord hath restored me to my second created heaven on earth, & hath turned my apprehended fears into joyes and great deliverance to his Church, whereof I have my share and part. Alas that weeping prayers answered and sent back from heaven with joy, should not have laughing praises! O that this land would repent and lay burthens of praises upon the top of fair mount Zion. Madam, except this land be humbled, a Reformation is rather my wonder, then belief at this time: but surely it must be a wonder, and what is done already is a wonder: our Lord must restore beauty to his Churches without hire; for we were sold without money, and now our buyers repent them of the bargain, and would gladly give again better cheap then they bought us: they devoured Iacob and eat up his people as bread; now Iacob is grown a living childe in their womb, and they would fain be delivered of the childe and render the birth: Our Lord shall be midwife. O that this land be not like Ephraim an unwise son, that stayeth too long in the place of breaking forth of children! Your La: is blessed with children who are honoured to build up Christ's waste places again: I beleeve your La: will think them well bestowed on that work, and that Zion's beauty is your joy, this is a mark and evidence for heaven which helpeth weak ones to hold their grip when other marks fail them. I hope your La: is at a good understanding with Christ, and that, as becometh a Christian, ye take him up aright [for many mistake and misshape Christ] in his comings and goings: Your wants and falls proclaim ye have nothing of your own but what ye borrow (nay, your self is not your own) but Christ hath given himself to you: Put Christ to the bank and heaven shall be your interest and income: Love him, for ye cannot over-love him: Take up your house in Christ, let him dwell in you and abide ye in him, & then ye may look out of Christ and laugh at the clay-heavens that the sons of men are seeking after in this side of the water. Christ mindeth to make your losses grace's great advantage: Christ will lose nothing of you, nay, not your sins, for he hath an use for them aswell as for your service, howbeit ye are to loath your self for these. I hope ye fetch all the heaven ye have here in this life, from that which is up above, and that your anchor is casten as high and deep as Christ: O but it's far & many a mile to his bottom! If I had known long since as I doe now (though still, alas! I am ignorant) what was in Christ, I would not have been so late in starting to the gate to seek him. O what can I doe or say to him who hath made the North render me back again! A grave is no sure prison to him for the keeping of dry bones. Woe's me that my foolish sorrow and unbelief being on horse-back did ride so produly & witlesly over my Lord's Providence: but when my Faith was asleep, Christ was awake, & now when I am awake I say he did all things well. O infinite wisdom! O incomparable loving kindness! Alas that the heart I have is so little & worthless for such a Lord as Christ is! O what oddes finde the saints in hard trials, when they feel sap at their roots, betwixt them and sun-burnt withered professors: crosses and storms cause them to cast their blooms and leaves: poor worldlings what will ye doe when the spanlength of your forenoon's laughter is ended and when the weeping side of Providence is turned to you? I put up all the favours ye have bestowed on my Brother upon Christ's score, in whose book are many such counts & who will requite them. I wish you to be builded more and more upon the stone laid in Zion & then ye shall be the more fit to have a hand in rebuilding our Lord's fallen tabernacle in this land, in which ye shall finde great peace when ye come to grips with Death the King of terrouis. The God of peace be with your La: and keep you blameless till the day of our Lord Jesus.
St Andrews. Your La: at all obedience in his sweet Lord & Master, S. R.