Letters in Two Parts, Part 1 · LETTER 86
To ALEXANDER GORDON of Earlestoun. (86.)
Much honoured Sir.
GRace, mercy & peace be to you: I received your letter which refreshed me: Except from your son & my brother; I have seen few l…tters from my acquaintance in that countrey, which maketh me heavie: But I have the company of a Lord, who can teach us all to be kind & hath the right gate of it: though for the present I have seven up's & down's every day, yet I am abundantly comforted & feasted with my King & welbeloved d…ily. It pleaseth him to come & dine with a sad prisoner, & a solitary stranger: His spikenard casteth a smell, yet my sweet hath some sowre mixed with it; wherein I must acquiesce, for there is no reason that his comforts be too cheap, seeing they are delicates, why should he not make them so to his own? But I verily think now, Christ hath led me up to a nick in Christianity that I was never at before, I think all before vvas but child-hood & bairns-play. Since I departed from you, I have been scalded, vvhile the smoak of hell's fire vvent in at my throat, & I vvould have bought peace vvith a thousand years torment in hell: & I have been up also, after these deep dovvn-castings & sorrovvs, before the Lamb's vvhite throne in my father's inner court, the great King'… dininghall, & Christ did cast a cove…ing of love over me, he hath casten in a coal in my soul, & it is s…oking …mong the stravv & keeping the hearth warme: I look back to what I vvas before, & I laugh to see the sand-houses I built vvhen I vvas a child…. At first the remembrance of many fair feast-dayes vvith my Lord Jesus in publike, wich are now changed into silent sabbaths, raised a great tempest, & [if I may speak so] made the Devil a doe in my soul: the devil came in, & would prompt me to make a plea with Christ, & to lay the blame on him as a hard master: But now these mists are blowen away, & I am not onelyonly silenced as to all quarrelling, but fully satisfied. Now I wonder that any man living can laugh upon the world or give it a hearty good-day. The Lord Jesus hath handled me so, that as I am now disposed, I think never to be in this world's common again for a night's lodging: Christ beareth me good company; he hath eased me when I saw it not, lifting the cross off my shoulders, so that I think it to be but a feather, because underneath are everlasting arms. God forbid, it came to bartering or niffering of crosses, for I think my cross so sweet, that I know not where I would get the like of it. Christ's honey-combs drop so abundantly that they sweeten my gall: Nothing breaketh my heart but that I cannot get the daughters of Ierusalem to tell them of my bride-groom's glory: I charge you in the name of Christ, that ye tell all ye come to, of it, & yet it is above telling & understanding. Oh if all the kingdom were as I am, except my bonds! they know not the love-kisses that my onelyonly Lord Jesus wasteth on a dâted prisoner. On my salvation, this is the onelyonly way to the new city. I know Christ hath no dumb seals; would he put his privy seal upon blank paper? he hath sealed my sufferings with comforts. I write this to confirm you. I write now what I have seen as well as heard. Now & then my silence burneth up my spirit: But Christ hath said, thy stipend is running up with interest in heaven as if thou wert preaching: And this from a King's mouth rejoyceth my heart. At other times, I am sad for dwelling in Kedar's tents: There are none [that I yet know of] but two persons in this town, that I dare give my word for: And the Lord hath removed my brethren & my acquaintance far from me: & it may be, I be forgotten in the place, where the Lord made me the instrument to doe some good. But I see this is vanity in me: Let him make of me what he pleaseth, if he make salvation out of it to me. I am tempted & troubled that all the fourteen Prelats should have been armed of God against me onelyonly, while the rest of my brethren are still preaching: But I dare not say one word but this, it is good, Lord Iesus, beacuse thou hast done it. Wo is me for the virgin daughter, wo is me for the desolation of the virgin daughter of Scotland! O if my eyes were a fountain of tears to weep day & night for that poor widow Kirk, that poor miserable harlot! Alas that my father hath put to the door my poor harlot mother! Oh for that cloud of black wrath & fury of the indignation of the Lord, that is hanging over the Land. Sir, write to mel beseech you: I pray you also, be kind to my …fflicted brother. Remember my love to your wife: & The prayers & the blessin… of the prisoner of Christ be on you. Frequent your meetings for prayer & communion with God, they would be sweet meerings to me.
Aberd. 16. Febr. 1637. Yours in his sweet Lord Iesus. S. R.