Letters in Two Parts, Part 1 · LETTER 179 – LETTER 180
To my Lady BOYD. [179]
MADAM.
I Would have written to your La: ere now, but peoples beleeving there is in me that which I know there is not, hath put me out of love with writing to any; for it is easie to put religion to a market & publick fair, but alas it is not so soon made eyesweet for Christ: My Lord seeth me a tired man far behinde: I have gotten much love from Christ, but I give him little or none again: My whiteside cometh out in paper to men, but at home & within, I finde much black work, & great cause of a low sail & of little boasting; & yet Howbeit I see challenges to be true, the manner of the Tempter's pressing of them is unhonest, & in my own thoughts knavish-like: My peace is, that Christ may finde sale & …uting of his wares in the like of me, I mean for saving grace: I wish all professors to fall in love with Grace; All ou… songs should be of his free-Grace: We are but too lazie and careless in seeking of it: It is all our riches we have here, & glory in the bud: I wish I could set out …ree Grace: I was the Law's man & under the Law, & under a curse; but Grace brought me from under that hard Lord, & I rejoyce that I am Grace's Free-holder: I pay tribute to none for heaven, seeing my land & heritage holdeth of Christ my new King: Infinite wisdom hath devised this excellent way of Free-holding for sinners: It is a better way to heaven then the old way that was in Adam's dayes: It hath this fair advantage that no man's emptiness & want layeth an inhibition upon Christ or hindereth his salvation: [& that is far best for me] but our new Land-Lord putteth the names of Dyvours & Adam's forlorn Heirs, & beggers & crooked & blinde in the free charters: Heaven & Angels may wonder that we have gotten such a gate of sin & hell: Such a back-entry out of hell as Christ made & brought out the captives by, is, more then my poor shallow thoughts can comprehend: I would think sufferings, glory [& I am sometimes not far from it] if my Lord would give me a new almes of free grace. I hear that the Prelats are intending banishment for me; but for more grace, & no other hire, I would make it welcome: The bits of this clay-house, the earth, & the other side of the sea, are my father's: If my sweet Lord Jesus would bud my sufferings with a new measure of grace, I were a rich man: But I have not now of a long time found such high spring-tides as formerly: The sea is out, & the wind of his Spirit calm, & I cannot buy a wind, or by requesting the sea cause it to flow again; onelyonly I wait on, upon the banks & shore-side, till the Lord send a full sea, that with up-sailes I may lift up Christ: Yet sorrow for his absence is sweet, & sighes with Saw ye him whom my soul loveth, have their own delights: Oh that I might gather hunger against his long-looked for return! Well were my soul if Christ were the element, mine own element, & that I loved & breathed in him, & if I could not live without him: I allow not laughter upon my self when He is away; yet He never leaveth the house, but the leaveth drink-money behinde him, & a pawne that he will return: Woe, woe to me if he should goe away & take all his flitting with him: Even to dream of him is sweet: To build a house of pining wishes for his return, to spin out a web of sorrow & care & languishing & sighes, either dry or wet as they may be, because he hath no leisure (if I may sp…a… so) to make a visite, or to see a poor friend, sweetneth & refre…heth the thoughts of the heart: A mistie dew will stand for rain, & doe some good, & keep some greenness in the herbs, till our Lord's clouds …ue upon the earth, & send down a watering of rain: Truly I think Christ's mistie dew a welcome message from heaven till my Lor…'s rain fall: Woe, woe is me for the Lord's vineyard in Scotland: Howbeit the Father of the house embrace a childe, & feed him & kiss him; yet it is sorrow and sadness to the children, that our poor mother hath gotten her leave, & that our Father hath given up house: It is an unheartsom thing to see our Father & mother agree so ill, yet the Bastards if they be fed care not: O Lord cait not water on Scotland's smoking coal. It is a strange gate the saints goe to heaven, our enemies often eat & drink us, & we goe to heaven through their bellies & stomacks, & they vomit the church of God undigested among their hands, & even while we are shut up in prisons by them, we advance in our j…urney. Remember my service to my Lord, your kinde Son, who was kinde to me in my bonds, & was not ashamed to own me: I would be glad that Christ got the morning-service of his life now in his young years: It would sute him well to give Christ his young & green love: Christ's stamp and seal would goe far down in a young soul, If he would receive the thrust of Christ's stamp: I would desire him to make search for Christ, for Nobles now are but dry friends to Christ. The Grace of God our Father, & the goodwill of him who dwelt in the bush be with your La.
Aberd. 1637. Yours in his sweet Lord Iesus. S. R.
To the Lady CARDONNESS ELDER. (180.)
Worthy & welbeloved in the Lord
GRace, mercy & peace be to you: I long to hear from you in paper, that I may know how your soul prospereth: My desire & longing in, to hear that ye walk in the truth, & that ye are content to follow the despised, but most lovely Son of God: I cannot but recommend him unto you as your husband, your welbeloved, your portion, your comfort & your joy: I speak this of that lovely one, because I praise & commend the foord [as we use to speak] as I finde it: He hath watered with his sweet comforts an oppressed prisoner: He was alwayes kinde to my soul, but never so kinde as now in my greatest extremittes: I dine & sup with Christ: He visiteth my soul with the visitations of love in the night-watches. I perswade my soul that this is the way to heaven, & his own Truth, I now suffer for: I exhort you in the name of Christ to continue in the truth which I delivered to you: Make Christ sure to your soul; for your day draweth nigh to an end: Many slide back now, who seemed to be Christ's friends, & prove dishonest to him: But be ye faithfull to the death, & ye shall have the crown of life: This span-length of your dayes, whereof the Spirit of God speaketh, Psal. 39. will within a short time, come to a finger-breadth & at length to nothing: O how sweet & comfortable shall the feast of a good conscience be to you, when your eye-strings shall break, your face wax pale, & the breath turn cold, & your poor soul come sighing to the windows of the house of clay of your dying body, & shall long to be out, & to have the jaylor to open the door, that the prisoner may be set at liberty: Ye draw nigh the water-side, look your accounts: Ask for your guide to take you to the other side: Let not the world be your portion; What have ye to doe with dead clay? Ye are not a bastard but a lawfull begotten childe; therefore set your heart on the inheritance; Goe up before hand and see your lodging: Look through all your father's rooms in heaven, in your father's house are many dwelling-places: Men take a sight of lands ere they buy them: I know Christ hath made the bargain already: But be kinde to the house ye are going to, & see it often: Set your heart on things that are above, where Christ is, at the right hand of God: Stir up your husband to minde his own countrey at home: Counsel him to deal mercifully with the poor people of God under him: They are Christ's & not his; therefore desire him to shew them mercifull dealing & kindness, & to be good to their souls. I desire you to write to me: It may be that my Parish forget me; but my witness is in heaven I dow, not, I doe not forget them: They'are my sighes in the night & my tears in the day: I think my self like an husband plucked from the wife of his youth: O Lord be my Judge what joy it would be to my soul to hear, that my ministery hath left the Son of God among them, & that they are walking in Christ! Remember my love to your Son and Daughtre: Desire them from me to seek the Lord in their youth, and to give him the morning of their dayes: Acquaint them with the word of God & prayer. Grace be with you. Pray for the prisoner of Christ: In my heart I forget you not.
Aberd. March. 6. 1637. Your lawfull & loving Pastor, in his onelyonly Lord Iesus, S. R.