Letters in Two Parts, Part 1 · LETTER 155
To WILLIAM GLENDINING. (155.)
Dear Brother.
YE are heartily welcome to that honour that Christ hath made common to us both, which is to suffer for his name: Verily I think it my garland & crown, & if the Lord should ask of me my blood & life for this cause, I would gladly in his strength pay due debt to Christ's honour & glory in that kinde. Acquaint your self with Christ's love & ye shall not miss to finde new goldē mines & treasures in Christ: Nay truly, we but stand beside Christ, we goe not in to him to take our fill of him. But if he should doe two things, 1. Draw the curtains & make bare his holy face, & then 2. Clear our dim & bleared eyes to see his beauty & glory, he should finde many lovers. I would seek no more happiness but a sight of him so near hand as to see, hear, smell, & touch & embrace him: But oh, closed doors & vails & curtains & thick clouds hold me in pain while I finde the sweet burning of his love that many waters cannot quench! O what sad hours have I when I think, that love of Christ scarreth at me & bloweth by me! If my Lord Jesus would come to bargaining for his love, I think he should make price himself, I should not refuse ten thousand years in hell, to have a wide soul enlarged & made wider, that I might be exceedingly [even to the running over] filled with his love. O what am I to love such an one, or to be loved by that high & lofty One! I think the Angels may blush to look upon him, & what am I to file such infinite brightness with my sinfull eyes? O that Christ would come near & stand still & give me leave to look upon him! For to look seemeth the poor man's priviledge, since he may for nothing & without hire behold the sun. I should have a King's life, if I had no other thing to doe, but for evermore to behold & eye my fair Lord Jesus: Nay, suppose I were holden out, at heaven's fair entry, I should be happy for evermore to look through an hole in the door & see my dearest & fairest Lord's face. O great King, why standest thou aloof? Why remainest thou beyond the mountains? O welbeloved, why doest thou pain a poor soul with delayes? a long time out of thy glorious presence is two deaths & two hells to me; We must meet, I must see him, I dow not want him: hunger & longing for Christ hath brought on such a necessity of enjoying Christ, that cost me what it will, I cannot but assure Christ, I will not, I dow not want him: For I cannot master or command Christ's love: nay, hell [as I now think] & all the pains in it laid on me alone, would not put me from loving: Yea, suppose my Lord Jesus would not love me, it is above my strength or power to keep back or imprison the weak love I have, but it must be out to Christ: I would set heaven's joy aside, & live upon Christ's love it's alone: Let me have no joy but the warmness & fire of God's love, I seek no other: God knoweth, if this love be taken from me, the bottom is fallen out of all my happiness & joy; & therefore I beleeve, Christ will never doe me that, as to bereave a poor prisoner of his love, it were cruelty to take it from me, & he who is kindness it self cannot be cruel. Dear Brother, weary not of my sweet Master's chains, we are so much the sibber to Christ that we suffer: Lodge not a hard thought of my royal King: rejoyce in his cross: Your deliverance sleepeth not, he that will come is not slack of his promise: Wait on for God's timeous salvation, ask not when or How long? I hope he shall lose nothing of you in the furnace, but dross: Commit your cause in meekness [forgiving your oppressours] to God, and your sentence shall come back from him laughing: Our Bridegroom's day is posting fast on, & this world, that seemeth to goe with a long and a short foot, shall be put in two ranks: Wait till your ten dayes be ended and hope for the crown, Christ will not give you a blinde in the end. Commend me to your wife and father, & to Bailiffe M. A. And send this letter to him. The prayers of Christ's prisoner be upon you, & the Lord's presence accompany you.
Aberd. July. 6. 1637. Yours in his sweet Lord Iesus. S. R.