Letters in Two Parts, Part 1 · LETTER 125
To Mr WILLIAM DALGLEISH. (125)
Reverend & welbeloved Brother.
GRace, mercy & peace be unto you: I have heard somewhat of your trials in Galloway: I bless the Lord who hath begun first in that corner to make you a new Kirk to himself: Christ hath the less adoe behinde, when he hath refined you. Let me entreat you, my dearly beloved, to be fast to Christ: My witness is above, My dearest Brother, that ye have added much joy to me in my bonds, when I hear that ye grow in the grace and zeal of God for your Master. Our ministery whether by preaching or suffering, will cast a smell through the world both of heaven & hell, 2 Cor. 2: 15, 16. I perswade you, my dear Brother, there is nothing out of heaven, next to Christ, dearer to me then my ministery, & the worth of it in my estimation is swelled & paineth me exceedingly; yet I am content for the honour of my Lord, to surrender it back again to the Lord of the vineyard: let him doe with me & it both what he thinketh good: I think my self too little for him: & let me speak to you, how kinde a fellow prisoner is Christ to me! Beleeve me, this kinde of cross [that would not goe by my door, but would needs visite me,] is still the longer the more welcome to me: It's true my silent sabbaths have been & are still as glassy yee, whereon my faith can scarce hold it's feet, & I am often blowen on my back, and off my feet, with a storm of doubting; yet truly my bonds all this time cast a mighty and ranck smell of high and deep love in Christ: I cannot indeed see through my cross to the far end; Yet I beleeve I am in Christ's books, & in his decree [not yet unfolded to me] a man triumphing, dancing & singing over on the other side of the red sea, & laughing & praising the lamb over beyond time, sorrow, deprivation, prelat's indignation, losses, want of friends & death: Heaven is not a foul flying in the air (as men use to speak of things that are uncertain) nay it is well paid for, Christ's comprizement lieth on Glory, for all the mourners in Zion, & shall never be loosed: Let us be glad & rejoyce that we have blood, losses, & wounds to show our Master & Captain at his appearance, and what we suffered for his cause. Woe is me, my dear Brother, that I say often I am but dry bones, which my Lord will not bring out of the grave again, & that my faithless fears say, Oh I am a dry tree that can bear no fruit, I am an useless body who …an beget no children to the Lord in his house. Hopes of deliverance look cold & uncertain & afar off, as if I had done with it: it is much for Christ [if I may say so] to get Lawborrows of my sorrow, & of my quarrelous heart: Christ's love playeth me fair play, I am not wronged at all; but there is a tricking and false heart within me, that still playeth Christ foul play: I am a cumbersom neighbour to Christ: It is a wonder that he dwelleth beside the like of me; yet I often get the advantage of the hill above my temptations, & then I despise the temptation, even hell it self & the stink of it, & the instruments of it, and am proud of my honourable Master: And I resolve whether contrary winds will or not to fetch Christ's harbour: & I think a willfull & stiff contention with my Lord Jesus for his love very lawfull: it's sometimes hard to me to win my meat upon Christ's love, because my faith is sick, & my hope withereth, & my eyes wax dim, & unkinde & comfort-eclipsing clouds goe over the fair, & bright, & light S…n-Jesus: And then when I & my temptation tryste the matter together, we spill all through unbelief: Sweet, sweet for evermore would my life be, if I could keep faith in exercise: But I see my fire cannot alwayes cast light. I have even a poor man's hard world, when he goeth away: But surely since my entry hither, many a time hath my fair sun shined without a cloud: Hot & burning hath Christ's love been to me: I have no vent to the expression of it: I must be content with stoln & smothered desires of Christ's glory: O how far is his love behinde the hand with me! I am just like a man, who hath nothing to pay his thousands of debt: All that can be gotten of him is to se…e upon his person: Except Christ would se…e upon my self, & make the readiest payment that can be of my heart & love to himself, I have no other thing to give him: If my sufferings could doe beholders good, & edifie his Kirk, & proclaim the incomparable worth of Christ's love to the world, O then how would my soul be overjoyed, & my sad heart cheered and calmed! Dear Brother, I cannot tell what is become of my labours among that people: If all that my Lord builded by me be casten down, & the bottom fallen out of the profession of that parish, & none stand by Christ, whose love I once preached, as clearly & plainly as I could [though far below it's worth & excellency] to that people; if so, how can I bear it? & If another make a foul harvest where I have made a painfull & honest sowing, it will not soon digest with me: but I know his wayes pass finding out: Yet my witness both within me & above me knoweth, & my pained breast upon the Lord's day at night, my desire to have had Christ awfull & amiable & sweet to that people, is now my joy: & it was my desire & aime to make Christ & them one: If I see my hopes die in the bud ere they bloom a little, & come to no fruit I die with grief. O my God seek not an account of the violence done to me by my brethren; whose salvation I love & desire: I pray that they & I be not heard as contrary parties in the day of our compearance before our judge, in that process led by them against my ministery, which I received from Christ: I know a little inch, & less then the third part of this span-length & handbreadth of time which is posting away will put me without the stroke & above the reach of either brethren or foes: And it is a short-lasting injurie done to me & to my pains in that part of my Lord's vineyard: O how silly an advantage is my deprivation to men, seeing my Lord Jesus hath many wayes to recover his own losses, & is irresistible to compass his own glorious ends, that his lilie may grow amongst thorns, & his little Kingdom exalt it self, even under the swords & spears of contrary powers! But, my dear Brother, goe on in the strength of his rich grace whom ye serve: Stand fast for Christ: Deliver the Gospel off your hand, & your ministery to your Master with a clean & undefiled conscience: Loose not a pin of Christ's tabernacle: Doe not so much as picke with your naile at one board or border of the ark: Have no part or dealing upon any terms, in a hoof, in a closed window, or in a bowing of your …nce, in casting down of the temple: But be a mourning & speaking witness again them who now ruine Zion. Our Master will be on us all in a clap ere ever we wit: That day will discover all our white's & our black's concerning this controversie of poor oppressed Zion: Let us make our part of it good, that it may be able to abide the fire when hay and stuble shall be burnt to ashes: Nothing, nothing [I say nothing] but sound sanctification can abide the Lord's fan: I stand to my testimony that I preached often of Scotland: Lamentation, mourning & woe abideth th… O Scotland: O Scotland, the fearfull quarrell of a broken Covenant standeth good with thy Lord. Now, remember my love to all friends, & to all my parishoners as if I named each one of them particularly: I recommend you & God's people committed by Christ to your trust, to the rich grace of our alsufficient Lord. Remember my bonds: Praise my Lord who beareth me up in my sufferings: As ye sinde occasion [accorcording to the wisdom given you] shew our acquaintance what the Lord hath done to my soul: This I seek not verily to hunt my own praise, but that my sweetest & dearest Master may be magnified in my sufferings I rest.
Aberd. June 17. 1637. Your brother in his sweet Lord Iesus. S. R.