Letters in Two Parts, Part 1 · LETTER 108 – LETTER 116
To ROBERT GORDON. Of Knockbrex. (108)
My very worthy & dear Friend.
GRace, mercy & peace be unto you: Though all Galloway should have forgotten me I would have expected a letter from you ere now: But I will not expound it to be forgetfulness of me. Now, My dear Brother, I cannot shew you how matters goe betwixt Christ and me: I finde my Lord going and coming seven times a day: His visits are short, but they are both frequent & sweet. I dare not for my life think of a challenge of my Lord: I hear ill tales, & hard reports of Christ from the Tempter and my flesh; but love beleeveth no evil: I may swear that they are lyars, and that apprehensions make lyes of Christ's honest and unalterable love to me. I dare not say that I am a dry tree, or that I have no room at all in the vineyard; but yet I often think that the sparrows are blessed who may resort to the house of God in Anwoth, from which I am banished. Temptations that I supposed to be striken dead and laid upon their back, rise again and revive upon me; yea. I see that while I live temptations will not die: The devil seemeth to brag & boast as much, as if he had more court with Christ then I have, & as if he had charmed & blasted my ministery that I shall doe no more good in publike; but his wind shaketh no corn: I will not beleeve Christ would have made such a mint to have me to himself, and have taken so much pains upon me as he hath done, and then slip so easily from possession, and lose the glory of what he had done; Nay, since I came to Aberden I have been taken up to see the new land, the fair palace of the Lamb: And will Christ let me see heaven to break my heart, & never give it to me? I shall not think my Lord Jesus giveth a dumb earnest, or putteth his seal… to blank paper, or intendeth to put me off with fair and false promises: I see that now, which I never saw well before. 1. I see faith's necessity in a fair day is never known aright; but now I miss nothing somuch as faith: Hunger in me runneth to fair and sweet promises, but when I come, I am like a hungry man that wanteth teeth, or a weak stomack having a sharp appetite that is filled with the very sight of meat; or lik one stupified with cold under the water that would fain come to land, but cannot grip any thing casten to him: I can let Christ grip me, but I cannot grip him: I love to be kissed and to sit on Christ's knee; but I cannot set my feet to the ground, for afflictions bring the cramp upon my faith: All I dow doe is to hold out a lame faith to Christ, like a begger holding out a stump in stead of an arm or leg and cry Lord Iesus work a miracle. O what would I give to have hands & arms to grip strongly & fold heart somly about Christ's neck, & to have my claim made good with reall possession! I think my love to Christ hath feet abundance, & ruinneth swiftly to be at him, but it wanteth hands and fingers to apprehend him. I think I would give Christ every morning my blessing, to have as much faith as I have love & hunger; at least I miss faith more then love & hunger. 2. I see mortification, & to be crucified to the world is not so highly accounted of by us as it should be. O how heavenly a thing is it to be dead & dumb & deaf to this world's sweet musick! I confess it hath pleased his Majesty to make me laugh at children who are wooing this world for their match: I see men lying about the world, as Nobles about a King's court; & I wonder what they are a doing there: As I am at this present I would scorn to court such a feckless & petty Princesse, or buy this world's kindness with a bow of my knee. I scarce now either hear or see what it is that this world offereth me; I know it's little it can take from me, & as little it can give me. I recommend Mortification to you above any thing: For alas we but chase feathers flying in the air, & tire our own spirits for the froth & overguilded clay of a dying life: One sight of what my Lord hath let me see within this short time is worth a world of worlds. 3. I thought courage in the time of trouble for Christ's sake, a t…ing that I might take up at my foot, I thought the very remembrance of the honesty of the cause would be enough; but I was a fool in so thinking: I have much adoe now, to win to one smile; but I see joy groweth up in heaven, & it is above our short arm: Christ will be steward & dispenser himself, & non… else but He: Therefore, now, I count much of one dram weight of spirituall joy; one smile of Christ's face, is now to me as a Kingdom, & yet he is no niggard to me of comforts: Truly I have no cause to say that I am pinched with penury or that the consolations of Christ are dried up, for he hath poured down rivers upon a dry wilderness the like of me to my admiration: & in my very swoonings he holdeth up my head, & stayeth me with flagons of wine & comforteth me with apples: My house & bed is strowed with kisses of love. Praise, praise with me. O if ye & I betwixt us could lift up Christ upon his throne, howbeit all Scotland should cast him down to the ground! My Brother's case toucheth me neer, I hope ye will be kinde to him & give him your best counsel: Remember my love to your Brother, to your wife & G. M. desire him to be faithfull & repent of his hypocrisie, and say that I wrote it to you: I wish him salvation: Write to me your minde anent. C. E. And C. Y. And their wives. & I. G. Or any others in my parish: I fear I am forgotten amongst them; but I cannot forget them. The prisoner's prayers and blessing come upon you: Grace, grace be with you.
Aberd. Feb, 9. 1637. Your Brother in the Lord Iesus▪ S. R.
To my Lord. BALMERINOCH. [109]
My very Noble & truly honourable Lord.
I Make bold to write newes to your Lo: from my prison, though your Lo: have experience more then I can have. At my first entry here, I was not a little casten down with challenges for old unrepented of sins, & Satan & my own apprehensions made a lye of Christ, that he had casten a dry withered tree over the dike of the vineyard; but it was my folly, blessed be his great name the fire cannot burn the dry tree: He is pleased no… to feast the exiled prisoner with his lovely presence, for it suiteth Christ well to be kinde, & he dineth & suppeth with such a sinner as I am. I am in Christ's tutouring here; He hath made me content with a borrowed fire-side, & it casteth as much heat, as mine own: I want nothing at all but reall possession of Christ: And he hath given me a pawne of that also, which I hope to keep till he come himself to loose the pawne. I cannot get help to praise his high name: He hath made me a King over my losses, imprisonment, banishment & onelyonly my dumb sabbaths stick in my throat: But I forgive Christ's wisdom in that: I dare not say one word: He hath done it & I will lay my hand upon my mouth: If any other had done it to me, I could not have born it. Now My Lord, I must tell your Lo: That I would not give a drink of cold water for this clay idol, this plaistered world. I testifie & give it under mine own hand, that Christ is most worthy to be suffered for. Our lazie flesh [which would have Christ to cry down crosses by open proclamation] hath but raised a slander upon the cross of Christ. My Lord, I hope ye i will not forget what he hath done for your soul: I think ye are n Christ's count-book as his obliged debter. Grace, grace be with your spirit.
Aberd. March. 13. 1637. Your Lo: obliged Servant, S. R.
To ALEXANDER GORDON. Of Knockgray. (110)
Dear. Brother.
GRace, mercy & peace, be to you: I long to hear how your soul prospereth: I expected letters from you ere now. As for my self I am here in good case, well feasted with a great King: At my first coming here, I was that bold as to to take up a jealousie of Christ's love: I said I was cast over the dike of the Lord's vineyard as a dry tree; but I see if I had been a withered branch, the fire would have burnt me long ere now: blessed be his high name who hath kept sap in the dry tree: & now as if Christ had done the wrong, he hath made the mends, & hath miskent my ravings [for a man under the water cannot well command his wit, far less his faith & love] because it was a fever, my Lord Jesus forgave me that among the rest: He knoweth, in our afflictions we can finde a spot in the fairest face that ever was, even in Christ's face: I would not have beleeved that a gloom should have made me to misken my old Master; But we must be whiles sick: Sickness is but kindly to both faith & Love. But O how execedingly is a poor dâted prisoner obliged to sweet Jesus! My tears are sweeter to me, then the laughter of the fourteen Prelats to them: The worst of Christ, even his chaff, is better then the world's corn. Dear Brother, I beseech you, I charge you in the name & authority of the Son of God, help me to praise his highness, & I charge you also to tell all your acquaintance, that my Master may get many thanks. O if my hairs, all my members and all my bones, were well tuned tongues to sing the high praises of my great & glorious King! Help me to lift Christ up upon his throne, & to lift him up above all the thrones of the clay Kings, the dying scepter-bearers of this world. The prisoner's blessing, the blessing of him that is separated from his brethren, be upon them all who will lend me a lift in this work: Shew this to that people with you to whom sometimes I preached. Brother, my Lord hath brought me to this, that I will not flatter the world for a drink of water: I am no debter to clay, Christ hath made me dead to that: I now wonder that ever I was such a Childe long since, as to beg at such beggers: Fy upon us, who wooe such a black skinned harlot; when we may get such a fair, fair match up in heaven. Oh that I could give up with this clay-idol, this masked painted overguilded dirt, that Adam's sons adore! We make an idol of our Will: as many iusts in us as many Gods: We are all God-makers: We are like to lose Christ the true God in the throng of these new & false Gods. Scotland hath cast her crown off her head: The virgin Daughter hath lost her garland: woe, woe to our harlot mother: Our day is coming, a time when women shall wish they had been childless, & fathers shall bless miscarrying wombs & dry breasts: many houses, great & fair, shall be desolate. This Kirk shall sit on the ground all the night & the tears shall run down her cheeks: The sun hath gone down upon her Prophets: Blessed are the prisoners of hope who can run in to their strong hold, & hide themselves for a little till the indignation be overpast. Commend me to your Wife, your Daughters, your Son in law, & to A. T. write to me of the case of your Kirk. Grace be with you. I am much moved for my Brother, I entreat for your kindness & counsel to him.
Aberd. Feb. 23. 1637. Yours in his sweet Lord Iesus, S. R.
To my Lady MARRE Younger. (111.)
My Very noble & dear Lady.
GRace, mercy & peace be to you: I received your La: letter, which hath comforted my soul. God give you to finde mercy in the day of Christ. I am in as good termes and court with Christ, as an exiled oppressed prisoner of Christ can be: I am still welcome to his house, he knoweth my knock & letteth in a poor friend: Under this black rough tree of the cross of Christ, he hath ravished me with his love, & taken my heart to heaven with him: well & long may he bruik it. I would not niffer Christ with all the joyes that man or Angel can devise beside him. Who hath such cause to speak honourably of Christ as I have? Christ is King of all crosses & he hath made his saints little Kings under him, & he can ride & triumph upon weaker bodies then I am [if any can be weaker] & his horse will neither fall nor stumble. Madam, your La: hath much adoe with Christ for your soul, husband, children, & house: Let him finde much employment for his calling with you; for he is such a friend as delighteth to be burdened with sutes and employments, and the more ye lay on him and the more homely ye be with him, the more welcome. O the depth of Christ's love! It hath neither brim nor bottom. O if this blinde world saw his beauty! When I count with him for his mercies to me, I must stand still & wonder & goe away as a poor dyvour who hath nothing to pay: Free forgiveness is my payment. I would I could get him set on high, for his love hath made me sick & I die except I get reall possession. Grace, grace be with you.
Aberd. March. 13. 1367. Your La: at all obedience in Christ. S. R.
To JAMES Mc ADAM. (112)
My very dear & worthyfriend.
GRace, mercy & peace be to you: I long to hear of your growing in grace, & of your advancing in your journey to heaven: It will be the joy of my heart to hear that ye hold your face up the brae & wade through tentations without fearing what man can doe. Christ shall, when he ariseth, mowe down his enemies & lay bulks [as they use to speak] on the green & fill the pits with dead bodies, Psal. 110: 6. they shall lie like handfulls of withered hay when he ariseth to the prey. Salvation, Salvation is the onelyonly necessary thing: this clay-idol, the World, is not to be sought, it is a morsel not for you, but for hunger-bitten bastards. Contend for Salvation: Your Master Christ, won heaven with strokes: It is a besieged castle, it must be taken with violence. Oh, this world thinketh heaven but at the next door, & that godliness may sleep in a bed of downs till it come to heaven; but that will not doe it. For my self, I am as well as Christ's prisoner can be: For by him, I am master & King of all my crosses; I am above the prison & the lash of mens tongues: Christ triumpheth in me. I have been casten down & heavie with fears & hunted with challenges, I was swimming in the depths; but Christ had his hand under my chin all the time & took good heed that I should not lose breath: And now I have gotten my feet again, & there are love-feasts of joy & spring-tides of consolation betwixt Christ & me: We agree well, I have court with him, I am still welcome to his house. O my short arms cannot fathom his love! I beseech you, I charge you help me to praise: Ye have a prisoner's prayers, therefore forget me not. I desire Sibilla to remember me dearly to all in that Parish who know Christ, as if I had named them. Grace, grace be with you.
Aberd. March. 13. 1637. Yours in his sweet Lord Iesus, S. R.
To my very dear Brother VVILLIAM LIVINGSTONE. (113)
My very dear Brother.
I Rejoyce to hear that Christ hath run away with your young love & that ye are so early in the morning matched with such a Lord; for a young man is often a dressed lodging for the devil to dwell in: be humble and thankfull for grace, & weigh it not so much by weight as if it be true: Christ will not cast water on your smoking coal, he never yet put out a dim candle that was lighted at the sun of righteousness. I recommend to you prayer & watching over the sins of your youth; for I know missive letters goe between the Devil & young blood; Satan hath a friend at court in the heart o… youth, & there, pride, luxury, lust, revenge, forgetfulness of God are hired as his agents: happy is your soul if Christ man the house & take the keys himself & command all [as it suiteth him full well to rule all where ever he is] keep him & entertain Christ well, cherish his grace, blow upon your own coal, & let him tutour you. Now for my self, know I am fully agreed with my Lord: Christ hath put the father & me in other's arms, many a sweet bargain he made before, & he hath made this among the rest. I reign as King over my crosses, I will not flatter a temptation nor give the Devil a good word, I defie Hell's iron gates: God hath past over my quarrelling of him at my entry here, & now he feedeth & feasteth with me: praise, praise with me & let us exalt his name together.
Aberd. March. 13. 1637. Your brother in Christ, S. R.
To WILLIAM GORDON. of VVhite parke. (114)
Worthy Sir.
GRace, mercy & peace be unto you: I long to hear from you: I am here the Lord's prisoner & patient, handled as softly by my Physician as if I were a sick man under cure. I was at hard terms with my Lord & pleaded with him; But I had the worst side: It is a wonder he should have suffered the like of me to have nicknamed the Son of his love Christ, & to call him a changed Lord who had forsaken me; but misbelief hath never a good word to speak of Christ. The dross of my cross, gathered a scum of fearsin the fire, doubtings, impatience, unbelief, challenging of providence as sleeping, & not regarding my sorrow; but my gold smith Christ was pleased to take off the scum & burn it in the fire: And blessed be my finer he hath made the metall better & furnished new supply of grace to cause me hold out weight & I hope hath not loosed one grain weight by burning his servant. Now his love in my heart casteth a mighty heat: He knoweth that the desire I have to be at hims…lf paineth me: I have sick nights & frequent fits of love-fevers for my welbeloved: Nothing paineth me now but want of presence: I think it long till day: I challenge time as too slow in it's pace, that holdeth my onelyonly, onelyonly fair one, my love, my welbeloved from me: O if we were together once! I am like an old crazed ship that hath endured many storms & that would fain be in the lee of the shore, & feareth new storms: I would be that nigh heaven, that the shadow of it might break the force of the storm & the crazed ship might win to land. My Lord's s…n casteth a heat of love & beam of light on my soul. My blessing thrice every day upon the sweet cross of Christ: I am not ashamed of my garland The banished …inister. [which is the term of Aberden] Love, Love defieth reproaches: The love of Christ hath a croslet of proof on it, & arrows will not draw blood of it: We are more then conquerours through the blood of him that hath loved us, Rom. 8. The devil, & the world they cannot wound the love of Christ. I am further from yeelding to the course of defection then when I came hither: sufferings blunt not the fiery edge of love: Cast love in the floods of hell it will swim above: it careth not for the world's busked and plaistered offers. It hath pleased my Lord so to lyne my heart with the love of my Lord Jesus, that as if the field were already won, & I on the other side of time, I laugh at the world's golden pleasures & at this dirtie Idol that the sons of Adam worship: This worm-eaten God, is that which my soul hath fallen out of love with. Sir, ye were once my hearer: I desire now to hear from you & your wife: I salute her & your children with blessings: I am glad that ye are still hand-fasted with Christ: goe on in your journey & take the city by violence: Keep your garments clean: Be clean virgins to your husband the Lamb: the world shall follow you to heaven's gates; & ye would not wish it to goe in with you: Keep fast Christ's love: Pray for me as I doe for you: the Lord Jesus be with your Spirit.
Aberd. March. 13. 1637. Yours in his sweet Lord Iesus. S. R.
To Mr GEORGE GILLESPIE. [115]
Reverend & dear Brother.
I Received your letter: as for my case Brother, I bless his glorious name, my losses are my gain, my prison a palace, & my sadness joyfulness. At my first entry, my apprehensions wrought so upon my cross, that I bec…me jealouse of the love of Christ, as being by him thrust out of the vineyard, & I was under great challenges, [as ordinarily melted gold casteth first a drossie scum, & Satan & our corruption form the first words that the heavy cross speaketh & say …od is angry. He loveth you not.] But our apprehensions are not cannonicall: they dite lyes' of God & Christ's love; but since my spirit was setled, & the clay fallen to the bottom of the well, I see better what Christ was doing: And now my Lord is returned with salvation under his wings, now I want little of half a heaven, & I finde Christ every day so sweet, comfortable, lovely & Kinde, as three things onelyonly trouble me. 1. I see not how to be thankfull, or how to get help to praise that royall King who raiseth up these that are bowed down. 2. His love paineth me & woundeth my soul, so as I am in a fever for want of reall presence. 3. An excessive desire to take instruments in God's name, that this is Christ & his truth I now suffer for, yea the apple of the eye of Christ's honour, even the Soveraignity & royall priviledges of our King & law-giver Christ: & therefore let no man scar at Christ's cross, or raise an ill report upon him or it; for he beareth the sufferer & it both. I am here troubled with the disputes of the great Doctors [especially with D. B. in Ceremoniall & Arminian controver…es for all are corrupt here] but I thank God, with no detriment to the truth, or discredit to my profession: So then I see that Christ can triumph in a weaker man nor I, & who can be more weak? But his grace is sufficient for me. Brother remember our old Covenant, & pray for me, & write to me your case. The Lord Jesus be with your spirit.
Aberd. March. 13. 1637. Yours in his sweet Lord Iesus, S. R.
To JOHN MEINE. (116)
Dear Brother.
GRace, mercy & peace be unto you: I wonder ye sent me …ot an answer to my last letter; for I stand in need of it: I am still … some piece of court with our great King, whose love would cause a dead man speak & live: whether my court will continue or not, I cannot well say; but I have his ear frequently & [to his glory onelyonly I speak it] no penurie of the love-kisses of the Son of God: He thinketh good to cast apples to me in my prison to play withall; lest I should think long & faint: I must give over all attempts to fathom the depth of his love: all I can doe is but to stand beside his great love, & look & wonder: my debts of thankfulness affright me: I fear my Creditor get a Dyvour-bill & a ragged account: I would be much the better of help: O for help, & that ye would take notice of my case: Your not writing to me maketh me think ye suppose that I am not to be bemoaned, because he is comfortable; but I have pain in my unthankfulness, & pain in the feeling of his love, while I am sick again for real presence, & reall possession of Christ; yet there is no gooked [if I may speak so] nor fond love in Christ: He casteth me down sometimes with challenges for old faults, & I know, he knoweth well that sweet comforts are swelling & therefore sorrow must make a vent to the wind: my dumb sabbaths are undercotting wounds: The condition of this oppressed kirk, & my brother's case [I thank you & your wife for your kindness to him] hold my sore smarting & keep my wounds bleeding; but the ground-work standeth sure. Pray for me. Grace be with you. Remember meto your wife.
Aberd. March. 14. 1637. Yours in his sweet Lord Iesus. S. R.