Londons Resurrection, Discourse 43
DISCOURSE XLIII.
That the promoting of Love, and Amity throughout the whole nation, would much conduce to the rebuilding of the City.
IF England were at unity with it ſelf, if all the inhabitants thereof were in charity with one another, if fellow ſubjects had that love, each for other, that fellow members of the ſame body ſhould, and uſe to have, or which the members of each body uſe to have for their head, (for ſo is London to the other Cities and Towns of England) then might we confidently expect to ſee London up again in a very ſhort time, and like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, deckt, and trimmed. Whilſt our heats, and animoſities continue, whilſt we bite, and devour one another, methinks the fire of London is not quite out, but it doth reak, and ſmoke ſtill, ſo far is it from being perfectly reſtored, and compleatly rebuilt. But were we all of one heart (though not of one mind) could we hit upon it to love as brethren from Dan to Berſheba, (I mean from one end of England to the other) were all Engliſhmen compaſſionately affected with the loſs of London, and paſſionately deſirous of its reſtauration, London would ſpring up again like Jonah's gourd (as it withered like that) I mean in as ſhort a time, for a great City to ſpring up in, as one night was for a gourd.
No grace like that of love for matter of building, it builds up the body of Chriſt (the beſt of fabricks) From whom the whole body fitly joyned together, and compacted by that which every joynt ſupplieth, maketh increaſe of the body, unto the edifying of it ſelf is love. Eph. 4.16. and ſith it doth do ſo, what building is there that love cannot promote? How much concerned were the Iſraelites to reſtore the tribe of Benjamin, Judg. 23.6. They repented them …r Benjamin and ſaid, there is one tribe cut of from Iſrael this day. They deſtroyed the inhabitants of J…beſh-gilead, for not coming up to Mizpeh, and gave them their daughters to wives: to the number of four hundred, which proving not to be enough, they put them upon taking every man of them a wife of the daughters of Shiloh, when they came out to dance; practices which I know not how to juſtifie, and therefore propoſe to imitation no more but this, that others would be as earneſt for the reſtauration of London, as they for the reſtauration of Benjamin, (though not in the uſe of indirect means) and ſo it will be, if that love be found amongſt Engliſh men that ought to be. They ſaid (There muſt be an inheritance for them that are eſcaped of Benjamin, that a tribe be not deſtroyed out of Iſrael, Judg. 23, 17. So would hearty, and univerſal love, each to others, make all Engliſhmen to ſay, there muſt be houſes built for them that were burnt out of London; there muſt be another London, that a tribe (or what is more than ſo) may not be deſtroyed out of England, the utter deſtruction whereof we will labour to prevent with our heads, and hands, and purſes, and prayers, and with whatſoever elſe we can uſe and improve for that purpoſe.
Now if the whole nation would ingage it ſelf, one way or other, in the reſtauration of London, and put to its helping hand, how quick a diſpatch would be made, as if Orpheus with his harp had made the timber and bricks, and ſtones to come leaping together, and orderly to diſpoſe of themſelves one by another, as the Poets fained, that he made the woods, and mountains to dance after him.
But the great difficulty will be to ſhew how, and by what means, the people of England which are now ſo much at variance, and enmity, with one another, may be brought firſt not to hate (for that muſt be the firſt ſtep) and then to love, and affect one another.
Loving parents cannot indure to ſee feuds, and fallings out amongſt their children, to hear them wrangle one with another, much leſs to ſee them fight: nor if there be none of all that betwixt them, are they ſufficiently pleaſed, unleſs they obſerve them to have a hearty kindneſs each for other, and to love one another, as brethren and ſiſters ought to do, who ſprang from the ſame loyns, and lodged in the ſame womb: and when they ſee that, how great is their joy!
But (as I ſaid before) the firſt ſtep muſt be to take men off from hating one another (a diſeaſe to epidemical in England at this day) for which I would to God I could propound a ſure, & certain remedy. How and by what means, the father of a private family, may keep his children from hating, and maligning one another; from fighting or falling out each with other, is within my ſphere to diſcourſe of, and may be no preſumption in one who hath been, and is the father of ſo many children as God hath made my ſelf, to pretend experience in. I ſhall therefore make bold to direct in that caſe (though not to ſay what would deſtroy all, or the moſt of that enmity, which is between fellow ſubjects, who have all one common and political Father, and in that ſence are brethren.
If parents would not have their children to hate one another, they muſt carry an even hand towards them, not manifeſting much more of love, and reſpect to one of them, than to another, leaſt of all ſo carrying themſelves as if ſome of them had all their love, and they had none at all for the reſt. Parents ſhould temper their love and reſpect to their children, (or the expreſſions of either) though not, ad pondus yet ad juſtitiam, that is, though not to ſhew ſo much reſpect to thoſe that are but boies, and girles, as to thoſe of them, that are Men and Women, yet as much to the younger, in proportion to their years, as to the elder in proportion to theirs, and ſo to thoſe that are of meaner rank and quality, and apparently of leſs deſert, ought they according to their quality, and deſert, to give a reſpect proportionable, to what they give to the reſt. If this be not done, and if ſome children of the ſame parents, be uſed by them with too much reſpect, and tenderneſs, others with too much neglect, and hardſhip, the latter of theſe will certainly envy the former, as Joſeph's brethren envied him, becauſe his Father had made him a parti-coloured coat, which he had done for none of the reſt: eſpecially if parents do reſpect thoſe children moſt, which ſeem to deſerve leaſt, it will create a world of envy, witneſs that paſſage of the prodigals brother, who when he ſaw, how his broſter was treated beyond what himſelf had ever been, ſaid to his Father, Loe theſe many years do I ſerve thee, neither tranſgreſſed I at any time thy commandments, and yet thou never gaveſt me a Kid, that I might make merry with my friends, Luk. 15.29.
Brethren and ſiſters muſt not be ſuffered to father odious, and invidious names upon one another, leaſt thereby they be expoſed to each others hatred. We read of Joſephs brethren, that, They ſaid one to another, behold this dreamer, (or maſter of dreams) cometh, Gen. 37.19. and the next words are, Come now therefore and let us ſlay him, and caſt him into the pit. It was not for nothing that Chriſt was pleaſed to ſay, Whoſoever ſhall ſay to his brother Raca, ſhall be in danger of the councel, but whoſoever ſhall ſay thou fool ſhall be in danger of Hell fire, Mat. 5.22. Our Saviour well knowing the provoking nature of diſgraceful names.
Brethren muſt not be ſuffered to put enſnaring queſtions to one another, like that riddle which Sampſon put to the Philiſtines, merely to inſnare, and take an occaſion againſt them, Judg. 14.12. And Sampſon ſaid, I will now put forth a riddle, if ye cannot declare it me, ye ſhall give me thirty ſheets, and thirty chang of garments: but what came of it? ſee, v. 15. It came to paſs on the ſeventh day that they ſaid unto Sampſons wife, entice thy husband that he may declare unto us the riddle leaſt we burn thee, and thy Fathers houſe with fire, have ye called us to take what we have? is it not ſo? What did it end in but wrangling, when they ſaw themſelves inſnared? Therefore I ſay parents muſt not ſuffer their children, to pore and puzzle one another, with hard and unneceſſary queſtions, to ingage one another in intricate diſputes (upon great penalties, to the looſing ſide) for certain it is that will end in quarrelling, and that quarrelling in hatred and deteſtation.
Parents muſt not put their children upon doing ill offices one to another (though they are ſuch as are neceſſary to be done by ſome other hand) for that will make them hate one another. What wiſe Father if he had a Sergant to his ſon, would imploy him to arreſt his own brother? (though for ever ſo great and juſt a debt) as knowing it would be worſe taken from him, than from a ſtranger, and that it is an office ill taken from whomſoever doth it. How angry were Davids brethren with him when they did but ſuſpect him to have come towards them in the nature of a ſpy? It would be unſeemly for one brother to be made to ſcourg another (whatſoever his fault were) a Father would not be hated for doing it himſelf; upon a juſt occaſion, but ſo would a brother.
Parents muſt not incourage their children to complain of one another, and to tell tales of one another, unleſs the fault committed be manifeſt, and conſiderable. It is ſaid that Joſeph brought to his father their evil report, viz. The evil report of his brethren, with whom he fed ſheep: but did he not loſe their love by ſo doing? is it not probable that was one reaſon for which they hated him? viz. for that they lookt upon him as a tell-tale, and an informer, which ſort of people are always odious (eſpecially where the thing informed againſt is not univerſally odious) and therefore (ſaving in great caſes) had need to be taken up by none, but thoſe whoſe office it is, and they had need be well paid for it.
Greatly diſcountenance that hatred, and diſaffection which doth at any time diſcover it ſelf, in brethren or ſiſters one againſt another, and let them ſee you cannot bear it, eſpecially if you diſcern one to hate another, for that for which they ſhould love them, viz. for their goodneſs, for being better than themſelves. The ſpirit of Cain is in too many families, of whom we read that he was of that wicked one, and ſlew his brother, and wherefore ſlew be him? becauſe his own works were evil, and his brothers righteous, 1 John 3.12. There are that ſpeak evil of others, becauſe they run not with them into the ſame exceſs of riot.
Let all ſuperfluous occaſions of wrangling, be taken out of the way. Saul adjured the people, that when the Iſraelites were in purſuit of the Philiſtines, that no body ſhould eat any food, that day till the evening: now ſuppoſe that hundreds of the people, being faint, and weary had done as Jonathan did, and thereupon Saul had cauſed the reſt to have informed againſt them that had ſo done, what a deal of hatred, and heart-burning had that procured? and how much better had it been that the people had never been ſo adjured? Some humourſome ſchoolmaſters have made ſuch uſeleſs rules, and orders for their ſchollars to obſerve as have procured nothing but perpetual trouble to themſelves, from the complaints of boies given to tell tales, and hatred to thoſe boies that were ſo given. The like it may be have ſome parents done amongſt their own children, who afterwards have ſeen their errour.
If any differences ariſe amongſt your children, take notice of them, interpoſe, and compromiſe them preſently, leaſt the wound of anger, and diſſenſion, not taken in time ſhould feſter into hatred. As ſoon as they begin to be foes, make them friends again, for as Solomon ſaith The beginning of ſtrife, is as when one letteth out water, therefore leave of contention before it be medled with. Clap down the ſlluce preſently, remembring that proverb, Prov. 13.19. brother offended (viz. ſo long, as till he hath fortified himſelf in the Caſtle of his anger) is harder to be moon than a ſtrong City, and their contentions are like the bars of a Caſtle. Small heats and differences in the Church (I mean that were ſuch at firſt), when no courſe hath been taken for reconciliation, have in ſeveral ages broke out into a great flame, which hath made woful havock. How much more may a particular family be ruined by an unregarded difference, which was but ſmall at the firſt?
Laſtly, as you would not that your children ſhould hate one another, never ſuffer them to aveng themſelves, how much ſoever they be, or think themſelves to be wronged, I ſay let them never be their own judges, and avengers, but ſubmit themſelves to the determination of their parents. He upon whom wrong is taken for the preſent, will ſeek to be revenged again of him that took it, for though perſons will acquieſce in the deciſion of a lawful judg (as a Father is amongſt his children) yet they will never admit of him for a judg, whom they know to be a party. Duels are ſeldom the end of ſtrife, and boies that fight, and are beaten one day, will try to recover their credit another, not taking the victory before obtained againſt them, as any lawful determination.
Let parents when appealed to, always do their children right, though they have more affection for one than for another, let them never humour that child which they love more, by wronging that child which they love leſs: for juſtice is as due to one as to the other, and beſides that, the child whoſe injury is confirmed upon him, by the partiality of his parents, will be tempted to bear a greater grudg to the injurer, whoſe part is taken againſt him, than ever he did before, whereas he could eaſily have forgiven the wrong which his brother did him, if his Father would but have done him right.
Theſe rules may do ſervice in a family, and how much farther they are capable of being extended, or now far forth the practiſe of them may take of a publick and national enmity, I leave to others to judg.
It was needful to ſhew how hatred might be removed, or prevented, becauſe without that be done, there can be no love, but yet the meer abſence of a publick hatred, and enmity will not build our City, without the preſence of love. They that have no hatred to London, will not hinder the building of it, but enither will they help it, who have no love thereto.
But what can be done to make men love one another? what philtrum may be uſed in the caſe? I am reſolved, as I am a Father what to do: my children ſhall ſee, that next unto the expreſſing of their love to God, I am not better pleaſed with any thing than with the expreſſions of their love to one another. If they ſpeak kindly to one another, I will give them two good words for one, if they ſignifie their love by any handſome guift, or, token, I will take a time to give them twice the worth of it, if they incourage one another in any thing that is good, I will give them double incouragement when they do well. Let children but obſerve that their parents are greatly delighted with their loving one another, and that they with the hearts of their parents by it (who cannot indure to ſee them moroſe, and churliſh to one another, harſh and unkind, and are ſure to meet with them for it, as oft as they obſerve them in ſuch an humour, they conſtantly fare the worſe for it, and with them when they are froward one to another, their parents ſhew themſelves froward (as God is ſaid to do) I ſay when children ſhall come to underſtand and experiment this, thoſe ſparks of love to one another which they had before, will hereby be blown up into a flame.
Call upon children to condeſcend to one another, and cauſe them to bear with one another, if you would have them to love one another. Condeſcention may as well make way for love, as love for condeſcenſion: it may as well be the cauſe, as the effect of love. Where there is no yielding but each party ſtands upon his punctillio's, there can be no agreement, and where there is no agreement how can there be love? Perſons that are in treaty of marriage have ſometimes a mutual, and reciprocal love, but ſome things there are which both parties ſtand upon, and neither will condeſcend to, and ſo the match breaks off; whereas if any third perſon could have over-ruled them, as to the punctillio's they ſtood upon, and made them mutually condeſcend, the match had gone on, and their love had daily increaſed. I remember the time when a certain colledg, at that time full of factions and diviſions, of alſenations, and eſtrangments, betwixt party and party, did at laſt condeſcend to one thing, viz. To have a publick common chamber, to which it ſhould be free for all the ſellows of that houſe to reſort, every day, and converſe together, as much and as often as they pleaſed. This one condeſcention put in practice, brought them to a right underſtanding each of other, and made them (ſo far as I could obſerve) to love one another ever after: which inſtance I bring to ſhew that a little condeſcention may make way for a great deal of love. The uſe of a moderator (as ſuch) what is it but to make each party remit of its extreams, and condeſcend unto the other ſo far as is juſt and fit? that at laſt they may come to a good comprimiſe; and by that name his ſacred Majeſty is ſometimes called, being ſtiled ſupreme moderator. Pride is a great obſtruction of love and peace, for only of pride cometh contention, ſaith the ſcripture, now condeſcention is ſome abatement of pride, and therefore muſt needs tend to the advancement of love.
Another courſe I would take to promote love amongſt my children, ſhould be this. I would hainouſly reſent it, if I knew of any body that went about to ſet them together by the ears, to breed quarrels, and differences amongſt them: had I a ſervant ſo given, he ſhould never ſtay in my houſe; on the other hand, I would call upon thoſe that are about me, my Wife, my friends, my ſervants to exhort and admoniſh my children, to love one another, to let them know how great a duty it is, how pleaſing to God, how delightful to parents, and to preſs it much upon them: and but that I would not preſume to ſpeak like Abſalom, ſaying were I a great Magiſtrate, &c. I would ſay, were I ſuch a one, I would recommend it to Miniſters every where to preſs the great duty of love to our neighbour, which is a moity, or the one half of the Law of God, and hath as great a tendency to eſtabliſh a Kingdom, and to make it flouriſh, as any thing that I know, and to farther each particular grand deſign, ſuch as is the building of London.
I think of another honeſt policy I would uſe to make my children love one another, viz. I would put them upon doing good offices one for another, unbeknown to them that they were inſtigated thereto, any otherwiſe than by their own love, and good will. If I threaten to correct one child, I would get another brother or ſiſter to beg his pardon, with as much earneſtneſs, as if it were for himſelf. I would now and then put a token into one childs hand, to preſent his brother, or ſiſter with, as if it were of his own coſt and charg, that what he hath ſown at my coſt, he may reap in an increaſe of love to himſelf, as if it had been at his own. I know as my employing them in bad, and thankleſs offices one towards another, would purchaſe their mutual hatred to one another, ſo my putting them upon offices of love, and kindneſs each to other, would ingratiate them with one another, and increaſe their love, as being mutual benefactors, and promoters of each others good.
Did I ſee a child that were of a better humour than the reſt, who both by his example, and counſel, did moſt promote peace, and love amongſt the reſt of my children, I would let that child know that no natural, or moral excellency whatſoever, could more have indeared him to me than that hath done; and on the other hand, that the greateſt excellency of wit, and beauty would not with me expiate, and compenſate that vice, or ill temper, which is contrary thereunto, viz. a diſobliging, provoking carriage, a harſh and unkind diſpoſition.
Now what I have ſaid touching the way and means of promoting love in a particular family, will appear more pertinent to the title of this Chapter, if an expreſſion which St. Paul uſeth, 1 Cor. 4.6. be here conſidered of, theſe things I have in a figure transferred to my ſelf and to Apollos.
Having propounded divers other means for the promoting of an univerſal love (though not every where under that name) that of prayer to God (that univerſal remedy) ought by no means to be paſſed over in ſilence with which I ſhall cloſe this Chapter.
O God thou art ſtiled love it ſelf, for we read, 1 John. 4.16. that God is love, and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Gal. 5.21. We are variance emulations, wrath, ſtrife, envyings, &c. Theſe are the works of our fleſh which are manifeſt, howbeit thou haſt ſaid, He that loveth not his brother, abideth in death, and whoſoever hateth his brother is a murtherer, 1 John. 3.15. We pray thee do thou cauſe brotherly love to be, and to continue amongſt us, give us to be kindly affectioned one to another, then ſhall we experiment what thou haſt ſaid, viz. How good and how pleaſant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity, as the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that deſcended upon the mountains of Zion, for there the Lord commanded his bleſſing, even life for evermore, Pſ. 133.