The Burning of London, Part 4 · Discourse 12
DISCOURSE XII. Of training up children in Religion, that they may come to have God for their portion.
HAve we not heard ſome parents ſince this Fire, bitterly crying out, Alas! what ſhall they do for their poor children? They are grown up, and ready for portions to diſpoſe in the world; and their portions, the fruit of many years care and ſore travel, were not long ſince as ready for them: but in came the Fire like a giant refreſhed with wine, mighty to run his race, and ſwept them all away. And now where ſhall they have ſtocks for their ſons that were about to ſet up for themſelves? where ſhall they have portions for their daughters to beſtow them in marriage? wherewithall ſhall they breed their younger children like themſelves, as they have done the reſt? To them that ask theſe queſtions, give me leave to anſwer thus: If your children want nothing elſe but hanſome breeding, as to curious works, Muſick, Dancing, and ſuch like; if your ſons want nothing but great ſtocks to ſet up their Trades; and your daughters nothing but ſo many hundreds to prefer them to rich husbands, you are happy parents. For if that be all they want, they muſt needs be poſſeſſed of the one thing neceſſary, of that better part which Mary choſe for her ſelf, that can never be taken away from them. If ſo, though your affliction be great, yet the mercy ſhewed you in reference to them, is ſo much greater, that it is a ſhame for you to make any great complaint. But if you ſay that your children are ſome of them ſtark naught, manifeſtly in the gall of bitterneſs, and band of iniquity; others of them towardly, yet but ſlenderly hopeful for matter of grace: I am ſure by your own confeſſion there is ſomething incomparablie more needful than ſtocks and portions to be ſought out for them, as to which you may take as effectual a care, and make as ſufficient a proviſion (all your loſſes notwithſtanding) as if no ſuch thing had ever befallen you. And what is it, but that your children may become wiſe unto ſalvation, that they may know the God of their fathers, and may ſerve him with a perfect heart, and with a willing mind, as David exhorteth Salomon, 1 Chron. 28 9. That the diſobedient may be reduced to the wiſdom of the juſt, that they may be born again, and may be found in Chriſt, having the righteouſneſs of God, which is by faith: In a word, that they may attain that holineſs, without which no man ſhall ſee the Lord. For this care God commends Abraham, Gen. 18.19. I know Abraham, that he will command his children, and his houſhold after him, and they ſhall keep the way of the Lord, &c. As for giving your younger children high and genteele breeding: may not that be ſpared? if God hath taken away the eſtates you had provided for them, what would ſuch breeding do, but raiſe their ſpirits above what their condition is like to be, as the caſe now ſtands? and may not a plainer education better fit them for that courſe of life, to which the providence of God is like to call them? As for your elder children, either they are thoſe bad ones you ſpeak of, thoſe Children of Belial, and why ſhould you covet great eſtates for them? would they not conſume them upon their luſts? would not the proſperity of ſuch fooles ſlay them? (as it hath done many others) and would not all thoſe great things be converted by them either into the luſts of the fleſh, or the luſt of the eye, or the pride of life? As for thoſe of your children that are now towardly, but not religious; either they will come to have grace in time, or not: If not, there will be a ſmaller accompt to give for a ſmall eſtate, than for a great one, and it may be leſs of a ſnare in it; but on the other hand, if God ſhall firſt or laſt beſtow his ſaving grace, either on your children that are meerly civil, or on them that are prophane, or on both, trouble not your heads any further about them, godlineſs hath the promiſe of the life that now is, and of that which is to come: God will withhold no good thing from them that do, or ſhall walk uprightly before him, Pſal. 84.
Now from theſe premiſes, how naturally may we …nfer, that the great care that is incumbent upon Parents, is, that their children may come to be truly gracious. Grace without eſtates will certainly make them, (though an eſtate with grace, like an inheritance with wiſdome, would add ſomething to them for the preſent) but an eſtate without grace would probably undo them; or if not be their very undoing, yet would aggravate their condemnation very much. It may be your childrens advantage, that you are ſenſible, that if God be not their portion, they will have none at all, (or very little) becauſe otherwiſe it may be you had intruſted them with the World, and never lookt after an intereſt in God for them. That your children may be ſeaſoned with Grace, if you educate them by a proxy, let me adviſe you to make choice of thoſe that will truly concern themſelves for the good of their ſouls, and as much to breed them chriſtians as ſcholars; and make it your earneſt requeſt to them ſo to do. Having committed them to the tuition of thoſe that are pious and prudent, by no meanes conjure them (as ſome fond Parents have done) alwayes to ſpare the Rod, leſt they ſpoile the Childe. Whereſoever you ſend them, let your earneſt prayers daily follow them: and for this above all things, that God would write his Law in their hearts, and put his fear into them, that they may never depart from him. If you train them up at home, bring them betimes acquainted with the holy Scriptures (which Timothy is ſaid to have been inſtructed in from a Childe) alſo with the Grounds and Principles of Religion, that they may underſtand both Scripture and Sermons: be droping wholſome counſel into them ever and anon; be poſſeſſing them with the danger of ſin, the excellency of holineſs, the neceſſity of being new creatures, the doctrines of heaven and hell, and ſuch like great truths; fill their memories with ſuch paſſages of Scripture as do moſt concern them, which may both direct their practiſe, and keep out bad thoughts; Diſcountenance all the manifeſt ſin you ſee by them, as lying, filthy ſpeaking, pride, envy, paſſion, ſtubbornneſs, and …th like: and encourage all the good you ſee …y them, and reward them for it, ſpeak to them warmly and affectionately of the matters of region, that they may ſee you are in good earneſt. Keep no ſervants that may debauch them, but …ch as are honeſtly inclined, and will help them …n Religion, rather than hinder them. See they get no baunt of ill company. Conceale your own infirmities from them all you can, (Debetur …ueris Reverentia) that they may not copy them but. Let what concerns the ſouls of your children receive a ſanction from both Parents: and to make it more forcible, let one Parent if preſent, alwayes ſecond the other, as to thoſe matters. Let them every day, that you are with them, hear more or leſs from you concerning God. Whet the Vitals of Religion upon them, rather than inable them to tell you who was ſuch a ones Father, or how long ſuch a Patriarch lived. Remember them daily and fervently both in your Families and Cloſets. Bewail their ſins next your own, and beg pardon for them. Not only pray for them your ſelves, but beſpeak the prayers of others, together with your own for them, and take that for one of the greateſt kindneſſes that can be done for you. Principle them againſt the moſt dangerous errours of the times and places they live in: (as Popery where that ſpreads, &c.) Intice them to be much in reading good books, and for that end furniſh them with thoſe that are pleaſant, as well as profitable. Acquaint them with ſignal paſſages of divine providence, thereby to breed in them awfull apprehenſions of God, as the Jewes were commanded to tell their children the reaſon of the Paſſeover, Exod. 12.26. Verſe them in the Hiſtory of Martyrs, which may ſhew them the faith and patience of the Saints, and acquaint them with the doctrine of the croſs. Keep them alwayes in action, to prevent the miſchiefes that come by idleneſs. Get Maſters for them as ſoon as they are fit to go out, and before they grow too ſturdy to bear the Yoak, or make them ſo ſubject and ſerviceable, in their nonage, in your own houſes, that they may diſcern no great difference betwixt home and an Apprentiſhip, or betwixt a Fathers and a Maſters houſe. Breed them rather beneathe, than above what you can do for them: uſe them to be contented with any thing that is fitting, for matter of cloaths & diet. Let morning and evening be (as it were) your medicinal times, in which to give them ſomething for their ſouls health, next their heart in a morning, next their reſt at night. Be ever and anon phyſicking them for wormes, that is, take heed of ſuffering them to be humourſome, troubleſome, and hard to pleaſe. Make them pay reſpect to your perſons, that they may reverence your counſel. Give them thoſe repreſentations of God, as may cauſe them as well to thirſt after him, to love and delight in him, as to fear and ſtand in awe of him: and thoſe characters of Religion, as may cauſe them to look upon all its ways as pleaſantneſs, & all its paths as peace, as an eaſie Yoak and a light burthen. Teach them to be humble, and then God will teach them, Pſal. 25.9. Sin as little as may be for their ſakes, as well as your own, leſt God ſhould lay up your iniquity for your children, as it is, Job 11.19. And whereas in many things we do all offend, begge we earneſtly of God that our Children may fare the better for our prayers, and not the worſe for our ſins.
And now Lord that I have been writing what Parents ſhould do for their Children's ſouls, I dare not ſay with that young man in the Goſpel, all theſe things have I done; but only that all theſe things I deſire to do, for, and in reference to my Children, by the aſſiſtance of thy grace. As Peter ſaid to Chriſt, Lord thou knoweſt I love thee, ſo can I appeale and ſay? Lord thou knoweſt I love my Children's ſouls, and am more tranſported with deſires it might be well with them, than that they might proſper upon all other accounts. The only riches that I inſiſt upon for them, (and Lord turn not away that prayer of thy ſervant, which comes ſwiming to thee in melting teares, and may it alſo in the blood of thy Son) I ſay Lord, the only riches I inſiſt upon for my children (whateſer others do for theirs) is, that they may be rich in faith, and heires of the Kigndome, which thou haſt promiſed to them that love thee, James 2.5.