Trouble of the Mind and the Disease of Melancholy, Discourse · Part 1 · Chapter 11
CHAP. XI.
Shewing, That preſent Diſtreſs of Conſcience is no ſign of Reprobation. There may be too great Trouble for Sin: And when it is exceſſive, former Experiences may be helpful to Afflicted People. And that God will not judge Perſons that have been good, according to what they are in the woful Diſeaſe of Melancholly.
XI. JUdge not of your Eternal State, by what you now feel; you may by the Terrors of the Lord, be in Anguiſh and Tribulation, in the very Suburbs of Hell, and yet never go thither: God may be diſpleaſed, and yet after a moments ſorrow you may find him to be your Gracious and your Everlaſting Friend: You are now, it may be, thrown down; but his hand and his promiſe can quickly raiſe you up again. You may conclude your ſelves, through the Power of your diſmal thoughts, to be Reprobates; and yet God may bring you to Salvation at the laſt: You may for many years lye in terror, but you cannot, you ought not to ſay that it will be ſo for ever. I my ſelf have been ſo afflicted, in ſo great Anguiſh and Perplexity, under ſuch dreadful apprehenſions of the Wrath of God, and of his Power and Greatneſs, as I thought, employed againſt me, that I thought my ſelf in Hell; knowing that it is not ſo much a Place, as a State. I thought that my Soul would be gathered with Sinners, and that I ſhould be found at the left hand of Chriſt. I thought I was cut down for ever; baniſhed from the Courts, and from the Preſence of the Lord, and ſhould never ſee Light, nor Comfort, nor Refreſhment any more; and yet through the Grace of God you ſee I am revived, and am not now without hope, as I once was; and from the very Gates of Death, from the very door of Deſtruction, I come to tell you, That tho God be Juſt, yet he is alſo Gracious. There is mercy with him that he may be feared; and that as the Night comes, ſo will the Morning too; for tho we have provoked him, which was our Folly, yet he will not contend for ever, which is our Comfort. Pſal. 31.21, 22, 23, 24. Bleſſed be the Lord, for he hath ſhewed me his marvellous loving-kindneſs, &c. For I ſaid in my haſte, I am cut off from hefore thine eyes; nevertheleſs thou heardeſt the voice of my Supplications, when I cried unto thee. O love the Lord all ye his ſaints, — Be of good courage, and he ſhall ſtrengthen your hearts, all ye that hope in the Lord. When we are in deep and ſore Affliction, that ſmarts, and makes us groan, 'tis hard indeed to believe, that what makes us ſo ſick, will promote our health; or what breaks us to pieces, will joint our bones again: But our ſenſe and preſent feeling is not to guide our thoughts: We feel our ſelves indeed miſerable, but we ought to believe that our preſent Miſery may promote our Happineſs, tho by ways that we do not for the preſent ſee; we are not to judge of God by the Darkneſs of his Providences, but by the Light of his Word; not by his afflicting Strokes only, but by his Promiſe; which obliges him to correct us for our Sin, but yet not altogether to deſtroy us.
XII. Remember that it is an evil thing to be over-much troubled, even for Sin it ſelf; tho this advice does not concern the greateſt part of men; the moſt are ſecure; they break the Laws of God, and do not tremble; they pollute themſelves with manifold abominations, and are not aſhamed; they ſin with lofty looks, and with hardned hearts; and do evil with both hands earneſtly: They take the Name of God in vain; they profane his Sabbaths, they ſcorn his Word, they defy his Threats, they ſcorn his Meſſengers, and yet few or none ſtrikes upon his Thigh, and ſays, What have I done? They are daring, where they ought to fear; and rejoice, where they ought to mourn: The greateſt part of the world are in a deep ſlumber, in miſery and in danger; but they are inſenſible, they know not that the end of theſe things will be very bitter and vexatious. But I now ſpeak to ſuch whoſe Conſciences are awakened with a ſenſe of the Greatneſs, the Majeſty, the Juſtice of God, and the Strictneſs and Holineſs of his Law, and have at the ſame time a deep ſenſe of their own Gulit, and liableneſs to Condemnation; their thoughts in ſuch troubles are too much apt to ſink, and to be over-whelmed; and indeed the view of all their ſins ſet in order before them, is too terrible for them to look upon. The burden and the weight of them is too heavy for any mortal men to bear: But they ſhould conſider, That God is not only ſevere, but very good; that he is not only angry, but reconcilable and willing to be at Peace again: This will repreſent his love to us and it is that, and that alone that will melt our Hearts with a kindly grief, and keep our ſorrow from overflowing the due bounds, as it is very prone to do. And it does ſo in ſeveral Caſes:
1: When our ſorrow for ſin hinders our regular proceeding in the true judgments of things. We know, that in dark and cloudy ſeaſons we cannot diſtinctly perceive the ſeveral Objects that we clearly diſcern in fair weather; ſo when our ſorrows have raiſed a miſt before our eyes, we dim our reaſon, and weaken our faculties, and ſee not things as they really are, but as they do appear, in a dark and confuſed manner: When we are not able to apprehend things as they are in themſelves, but as our Afflictions repreſent them; that is a falſe Medium whereby to form our Judgments, when they do make us heighten our troubles, and it may be, make them greater than they really are; and when they make us altogether inattentive to thoſe directions, methods, and advices that are ſuggeſted for our help.
2. When our ſorrow for ſin drives us away from God, the ſight of our Wounds ſhould make us haſte to the Great Phyſician for a ſpeedy relief. When I have throughly beheld my ſin, the next thought ſhould be, Oh what need have I of a God to forgive me, of a Saviour to plead my Cauſe, and of the Holy Spirit to renew me! and to throw my ſelf at his feet, whom I have provoked, in the ſubmiſſive terms of the poor Prodigal, ſaying. Father, I have ſinned againſt heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy ſon. And not becauſe I have once wandred, ſtill to wander in a ſtrange Countrey, far from my proper home. Our grief for ſin is too great, when it cauſes us totally to deſpair, to give our ſelves over, as hopeleſs and loſt for ever: This we never ought to do; we weep too much when we cannot ſee the Goodneſs and the Mercy of God, as well as his Juſtice and Severity. When we think that it is good to him that he ſhould oppreſs and cruſh the works of his own hands; and when we judge him to be Tyrannical and Cruel, as if he intended nothing but our Ruin; and when we peremptorily ſay, that he will not hear our Prayers, nor ſhew us any Favour; When we have no ſuitable thoughts of his Amiable Nature, his Covenant, and his Promiſe: When by the Painfulneſs of the Rod, we call in queſtion all that he has ever done for us; and when becauſe he frowns, we ſay he has thrown us off: When becauſe he delays his help, we ſay that he will be gracious and favourable no more for ever: When we charge him fooliſhly, and either deny his Providence, or blame his Conduct, becauſe he uſes not ſo gentle a method towards us, as we would have him to take; or when from our diſtreſs we make deſperate Concluſions of him, or of our ſelves: And moſt of all, when ſeeing that others whom we reckon as great ſinners as our ſelves, to be in health and peace, whilſt we groan and languiſh. we are apt to ſay, Pſal. 73 11. We have cleanſed our hearts in vain. That it is a vain thing to be Religious; to fear ſuch a God, who ſuffers his Servants to be ſo very much afflicted, and with ſuch ſort of ſorrows that are more ſpiritual, and conſequently more bitter than the reſt of the world is acquainted withal.
3. We are then too much troubled for our ſins when that trouble does not only indiſpoſe us for duty; for if it be attended with pain and trouble, if will be apt ſo to do; but when it …kes us altogether to omit our duty that we owe to God; when our ſorrows damp our affections which are the wings of our ſouls, to carry us up to God: When it cauſes us to mind nothing elſe but what is ſad and grievous: When our ſorrow ſwells to ſo great a height, that it covers with its imperious Waves, all the foundations and grounds of Peace and Comfort; it was not ſo, as ſome have obſerved, with our Bleſſed Lord; for when he was upon the Croſs, he was in extreme, in a mighty pain, and violent agonies; and yet did not theſe take away from him his care for his Mother: So the Good Thief in the midſt of his pangs, laboured to gain his fellow, and to ſave his own ſoul, and to glorify Chriſt. Theſe were indeed extraordinary inſtances; for our ſickneſs may be ſuch, that all that we can perform to God, is a quiet ſubmiſſion to his will, and a deſire of the Prayers of others; thus our forrows for ſin are exceſſive, when they make us to give over Prayer, or Hearing, or the like Duties; when they unſtring our Harps, and dull our Traiſes, and make us unfit for our Calling.
4. When our ſorrow puts us upon indirect means for relief; when we put that truſt in men that ſhould be placed in God; when we expect that Cure from them, which he alone is able to give; when we ſeek it in vain Company, in Recreations, or the things of this World; but if our fenſe of God's diſpleaſure be very great, we ſoon know that all theſe things are of no value.
XIII. Call to mind thoſe experiences that you have heretofore had of the goodneſs of God; remember the years of the right hand of the moſt High; you are now fearing his Wrath; But can you not remember the time, when his Love was your dayly ſolace and delight? You are now complaining, that he does not hear your cry; But how many Prayers has he ſent back with a gracious anſwer? How many times have you laid at his feet, in humiliation and tears, and his hand has wiped your tears away? How many times, when you have been fainting, has his Word revived your poor troubled ſouls? And tho' his Word be now bitter to your taſte, and fill you with Gall and Wormwood, yet it is ſtill able to revive you. Thoſe places of Scripture that heretofore revived you, are ſtill able to refreſh you; thoſe breaſts are ſtill as full of conſolation as they ever were; but only you are for the preſent under a decay of ſpirits, and have loſt your appetite, that you cannot draw that conſolation thence as you uſed to do. Do not forget the many Mercies of your Infancy, your Childhood, your Youth, and your Riper Age; how ſeaſonable, how unexpected, how neceſſary have your Mercies been, both for your bodies and your ſouls; and tho' I know it is your abuſe of them that grieves and troubles you, yet remember that he that once forgave you, can forgive you ſtill; and that he that did you once ſo much good, is ſtill able to do you good. Judg. 13.23. If the Lord had meant to deſtroy us, he would not have received a ſacrifice at our hands, nor have done all this for us. Shall we diſtruſt, ſhall we forſake, ſhall we limit a God that has been heretofore ſo very mericful and ſo gracious? And tho it is very true, that it is no comfort to a poor man to think, that he was once rich; or to a ſick man, to think that he was once in health; for the bitterneſs of his preſent evils takes away the reliſh of his former comforts; and when a Man has loſt God in his terrible apprehenſions, it makes it to be more intollerable than if he had never enjoyed him: yet the having once had Communion with him by his Grace, and by his Spirit, may give us ſome reaſon to hope that the root of the matter is in us, and that God will cauſe it to bud and ſpring forth again, tho' it now lye under water, and be covered with many ſtorms and tribulations: And I may add alſo, with many ſins and corruptions with which we were not troubled before.
XIV. Remember that God will not judge you according to what you are in ſuch a woful diſtemper as that of Melancholly; but it will go with you as you were in the time of your health: This is highly neceſſary to be conſidered; for many good people, when they are under the diſeaſe of Melancholly, which can no more be prevented, than a Conſumption or a Fever; they are very apt to expreſs themſelves after this or the like manner: I thought I had once been ſerious, but now I ſee, that all was a deceit; I ſee that I heard, and prayed, and received the Sacrament in vain; for had I been a true Believer, this would never have befallen me. This is a very falſe way of arguing,; for if you had been never ſo ſincere, that ſincerity would not have kept away diſeaſes, nor this in particular; for in Melancholly we think and we ſpeak according to our preſent apprehenſions and our fears, and theſe are greatly cauſed by the diſorder of our Imaginations, which is owing to the confuſion and the hurry of our thoughts, and that confuſion is the product of a great and unuſual ſtagnation or fixing of the Spirits, when the blood is corrupted, and the body indiſpoſed; and this moſt frequently, occaſioned by the want of reſt or ſleep. And 'tis commonly ſaid by others that know not what Melancholly is, Why do you think and pore ſo much? Divert your ſelves, think of ſomething elſe: But it is no more poſſible for people, where this diſeaſe comes with violence, to divert their thoughts, than 'tis poſſible for a Man to be wakeful in an Apoplexy, and calm in a raging Fever; no more than a Man that has a broken Arm or Leg, can walk and act as he uſed to do before. And indeed*Mr. Baxter's 32. Dir. p. 6. rational and ſpiritual methods will not ſuffice for the cure of this; for you may as well expect that a good Sermon or comfortable words ſhould cure the Falling-ſickneſs, or Palſie, or a broken Head, only becauſe this diſeaſe works on the ſpirits and phantaſie, on which words of advice do alſo work; therefore ſuch Words, and Scripture, and Reaſon, may ſomewhat reſiſt it, or may palliate, or allay ſome of the effects at preſent; but as ſoon as time hath worn off the force and effects of theſe Reaſons, the diſtemper preſently returns; and 'tis as natural for a Melancholly perſon to fear, and to meditate terror, as 'tis for a ſick Man to groan, or for one in health to breathe: 'tis certain, that tenacious, obſtinate diſtempers, ſuch as this of Melancholly, will not be relieved by meer words or ſentences; they cannot indeed caſt out their troubled thoughts; they cannot turn away their minds; they can think of nothing but what they do think of, no more than a Man in the Tooth-ach can forbear to think of his pain; and not ſo to think, is to be cured, which they would be glad to be: And tho' others urge us to rule our thoughts, it gives us no relief, but only adds to our miſery, to be frequently urged to that which we cannot do. But my advice to ſuch is, That in the uſe of ſuch things as they find to yield a natural refreſhment to their ſpirits, they would look up to God, who can make the Winds and Storms to ceaſe, and make that unquiet agitation that is in the Blood and Humours, to be ſtill again; and when he ſhall be pleaſed to give you the reſt of night, and the clearneſs and activity of your natural ſpirits, then your troubleſome and uneaſie thoughts, by the help they will then receive by reading or advice, will wear away. I ſpeak nothing but what I my ſelf have experienced to be true; for this Diſeaſe does magnify our ſorrows: What I aim at is this, That when any are in deep Melancholly, ſo far as they have any Reaſon left, they ſhould not encreaſe their own terror, by thinking that all their former Prayers and endeavours have been to no purpoſe, becauſe they do not then perceive what effect they have had. God is certainly more gracious than to reckon the una voidable attendants of a diſeaſe, that none can cure but himſelf, to be a ſin; Men are not to be judged by what ſtrange actions or expreſſions they are guilty of in a violent ſickneſs; and among all that are ſo, I think this to be moſt violent.