Exposition Upon 1 Peter, Biblical exegesis · Chapter 3 · Verse 1
CHAP. III. Verse 1. Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.
IN this and the following Verses, unto the eight, the duties of wives and husbands are laid down, and enforced with many fit and weighty Arguments. Whence note,
1. That Marriage in Gods account is an high and honorable state;Doctor. all things prove it,Marriage in Gods account is an high and honorable state. Author, Time, Place, Persons, &c. God hath said it; and who can tell the worth of things so well as the Author and Maker of them? Such are blame-worthy that disgrace it,Heb. 13. 4. as they are that live basely and dishonorably in it.
2. That both husbands and wives must learn to know their duty,Use. How else shall they teach their children and servants?Doctor. God puts children and servants to us as Apprentices,Both husbands and wives must learn to know their duty. to be trained up in the trade of Christianity, whom we teach very much by our good Example. If husbands and wives should not learn their duties, they may live like a pair of Creatures, not like a pair of Christians.
Touching the wives duties,The duties of wives. he exhorteth them, 1. To subjection, ver. 1. 2. To chastity and reverence, ver. 2. Then having disswaded them from curiosity, and over much setting out themselves in apparel (faults whereunto naturally women are too much addicted) ver. 3. he perswadeth them on the contrary to deck themselves rather with grace, especially meekness and quietness, as not onelyonly being in the sight of God of great price, but that which will hold out; whereas the outward adorning is corruptible and vain, ver. 4. Those he further presseth by the examples of ancient godly women, ver. 5. and particularly of Sarah, whose daughters they were if they did perform their duties to their husbands as she did to hers, in a right maner, namely, for love and conscience sake, and not moved thereto out of any slavish fear, ver. 6.
Herein our Apostle insisteth the more largely,Why the Apostle insisteth so largely about the duties of wives. for that upon his and the other Apostles preaching, That Believers were not to marry with Infidels, and that some wives which were converted to christianity brake off society with their husbands because of their beastly and strange lusts; a slander arose, that the Apostles taught, That wives were not to be subject to their husbands, especially if they were Infidels; against this our Apostle here cleareth himself and his Doctrine.
Thus hath it been with Gods Ministers from time to time (even Christ himself was slandered) and therefore when the like befals us,Obs. we must not be discouraged.Gods Ministers have been at all times lyable to be slandered.
But let people take heed how they slander a Minister; for if it be a wicked part to bear false witness against any man,See 2 Cor. 6. how much more against a Minister,Use. being a publique person, and whereby much hurt may redound? Such slanderers work Journey-work for the Devil in an high degree; take heed that you slander them not out of ignorance, but especially out of malice: Neither censure before you know the matter fully;Prov. 18. 13. for, He that answereth a matter before he heareth it (that is, advisedly considereth thereof) it is folly and shame unto him.
Likewise, &c.] There's subjection required of Inferiors towards their Superiors, so of Servants towards their Masters, and here of Wives towards their Husbands;The prevention of an objection. but this must be considered according to their places. This I note, because some base minded husbands do insult over, and abuse their wives in most tyrannous maner, looking for as much subjection of them, as of any servant or drudge, which is not the minde of the holy Ghost.
Ye wives, Doctr.be in subjection to your own husbands,] Here's required of wives,Wives must be subject to their husbands subjection towards their husbands; though God made them in many things equal, yet in wisdom he thought meet to make some little inequality, and appointed the husband to be the Superior and Head, and so to rule,1 Cor. 11. 8, 9. and the wife to be subject to him; yet not so, but that he hath his Rules to bound his rule,1 Tim. 2. 13. that it exceed not. It was Gods will even in the state of innocency, that the wife should have been subject, though it should have been more willing, free and pleasant, then it is now (for now its not done without difficulty) but after the Fall,1 Tim. 2. 14. God laid it on her as a punishment, for being deceived, she was first in the transgression.
This is often required,Eph. 5. 22, 23. and hence it is that the husband is called the wives Head,Col. 3. 18. and for this cause was the vail, betokening her subjection. Neither is this without Reason;Reasons. for if all were equals in the Commonwealth, there would be confusion; and if all Bells were of a bigness, and all the strings of an instrument of one size, there would be a harsh sound, and no melody: So were there not some small inequality between husbands and wives, there could not but be contention. Its Gods order that wives be subject, as its his order the Sun should shine, the Earth bear fruit, the Heavens cover us: If these things should not do thus, it were monstrous; so, unless wives will be Monsters, they must be subject. Accordingly God hath provided to make man the stronger, the woman the weaker vessel, that he might be the fitter to rule; she (feeling her own weakness) the more willing to be ruled. This she ought to account an especial mercy, as having a Head to guide her, who else, having had the rule in her own hand, had been unable to manage it aright; yea, as this is no servile or base subjection, but joyned with equality in many things (which is signified in her making, not of mans head, lest she should be superior, nor of his Foot, lest she should be much inferior, but of his Ribs, to shew equality:) So hereby they are freed from all other subjections, as of Parents, Masters, &c. yea, in many things are not subject as it were to Law, as for whom their husbands must answer.
This subjection must guide the whole Conversation,Wherein their subjection consisteth. besprinkle the speech, and cause a right Affection and quiet Spirit. This stands in reverencing their husbands in their hearts, and shewing it in words and behavior, as its in the following Verse: She must also submit her self to the advice, counsel and direction of her husband for her dyet, apparel, &c. not doing things of her own minde, but with his counsel.
As the Moon hath all her light from the Sun,Simil. so must she have her direction from her husband; and as the great Wheel of the Clock must guide about all the rest; so must he be to her, and she must not have a proper motion by her self: If he do any thing, she must take liking, and not thwart or control the same; nay, if she should know a thing to be better then that he is about (as concerning removing to this place ot that, buying this, or selling that, &c.) yet being not in a thing simply unlawful, she must not cross him (gently perswade him she may) much less stand upon her own wit and will contrary to his minde: And if she should see him impatient, yet is it not her part to requite like for like, neither to carry her self unreverently; nay, though she see he doth that which is unlawful, she must not check him at her pleasure, but by fair means endeavor that he may see and leave the same; she must also be obedient to all his lawful commands, and frame herself to his nature and liking, so far as she may with a good conscience: Indeed to consent to his evil, or to do evil at his command,Acts 5. 29. that she may not by any means (for God is to be obeyed rather then man) yet even in these she must refuse with humility and due respect to her husband: Though she have a good cause, yet she may handle it ill.
This rebuketh the contrary unreverence and base esteem which too too many wives have of their Husbands;Use. O how unseemly and stout is their behavior towards them? Not a few having many good qualities in them, yet are curst, snappish, stand too stifly in their own conceit, will carry away the day, and have the last word, especially if they have a good cause; such do grosly forget themselves: Whatsoever parts a woman hath, yet if she be not subject and dutiful to her husband,Simile. they are nothing, she is as a curst Cow that gives a good pail of milk, and kicks it down with her foot: Let such endeavor to see this fault in themselves, and repent thereof from their heart, striving against their froward nature; let such know, that as subjection is Gods Ordinance,Simil. so its the very being of a wife. Whats an hand, if it have no power of handling? or any eye, if it see not? so a wife without subjection: Though there may be Parentage, Portion, Beauty, Housewifery, &c. yet if this be wanting, there is nothing of a wife: There are also others which be so unreasonable, so froward, so mad, and bedlem-like, which do so scold and brawl, as they care not what they say,Prov. 12. 4. being a vexation to their Husbands hearts, and corruption to their bones, that are as it were a whipping stock and house of correction to them continually: the contention of such is a continual dropping,Prov. 19. 13. and 21. 9. and it is better to dwell in the corner of a house top, then with such in a wide house: But hereof I have heretofore spoken at large.
That if any obey not the Word, Doctr.&c.] Not onelyonly must wives be subject that have good Husbands,Wives must be subject even unto bad husbands. but even they which have infidel husbands, cross, unkinde, and most irreligious Husbands; for they are their husbands whom they have chosen, and are now in covenant of God withal, and which God hath laid out for them as a blessing or cross:See Mat. 5. 41. if any shall say, This is very hard, let such know, that Christians mnst do difficult things, and such as no other can do, whether Papist,Simile. Hypocrite, or Civil persons; every Bungler can make good work of good straight Timber, but he that can make good work of that which is crooked and knotty, is worthy commendation.
1. This rebuketh those that except against their husbands:Use 1. Oh, will some say, if my husband were as such a womans husband, kinde, courteous, religious, &c. it would not grieve me to do any thing for him, I could lay my hand under his feet, but mine is thus and thus. Ans. Ye must not look what others be, but what your own is; though they fail in their duties towards you, yet must not you in yours towards them, stoppage is no payment, Gods Word must be your rule.
2. If they that have such ill husbands,Use 2. yet must do their duty willingly, how much more they that have loving, godly, careful husbands? How great is their sin that do not their duty to such, but are ever finding fault, complaining, murmuring, unquiet? such may justly fear, lest God take away those, and send them such as will be a cross to them: If any have found it so, let it lead them to repentance, and let others take heed by their example.
But howsoever it be necessary for wives to do their duties to unbelieving husbands,Doctr. yet it follows not that they may lawfully match themselves with such:Wives are not to marry irreligious husbands. This were an unequal match, which is often spoken against in the holy Scriptures; This were to make league with the wicked and Gods enemies,See Gen. 6. 2, 3 This were the way to pollute our selves;Ezra 9. & 10. Thus was Solomon himself beguiled: This is the means of a corrupt and sinful generation,2 Cor. 6. 14. for commonly children do follow the steps of their parents;2 Chron. 19. 2 Such as were thus born, Neh. 13. 24.spake half the language of Canaan, and half of Ashdod: When both Parents be godly, their children for the most part prove gracious, God vouchsafing to draw the threed of his election through the loyns of the faithful; when both be wicked, their children are for the most part ungracious; yea, if but one of them be wicked, most children prove after the worse side.
Let therefore Parents as they regard their own comfort,Use. and the wel-doing of their posterity, be careful with whom they match them; and those that intend to marry, let them in their matching not so much regard wealth, beauty, birth, &c. as Gods fear; yet how many are carryed away with those, not caring to please God herein, matching themselves even with such as are most irreligious?
But how doth our Apostle decipher an unbeliever?Doctr. by his fruit, disobedience,Such as live in disobedience are unbelievers he is such a one as doth not obey the Word: Whosoever he is that liveth in flat disobedience to any of Gods Commandments, is yet an unbeliever, and without Faith.
In vain therefore do they boast of Faith,Use. whosoever they be, that live in open disobedience and known sins.
May without the Word be won by the conversation of the wives.]Doctr. In general note we, Good examples are excellent preparatives to conversion.that
Although the work of conversion is to be ascribed to the preaching of the Word (For faith cometh by hearing, and its the Interpreter one of a thousand,Rom. 10. 17. that must declare unto man his righteousness) yet are good examples excellent preparatives hereunto (as fire that heats the iron,Iob 33. 23. and makes it fit to be fashioned) by them a man may be brought to a better liking of Religion,Simile. and of the Word,See Deut. 4. 6. and so to the hearing thereof,Mat. 5. 16. whereby he may be converted.Iames 3. 13. Davids constant and true carriage of himself towards Saul, 1 Pet. 2. 12.made him confess he was more righteous then himself.1 Sam 24. 17.
Do not we then content our selves with forwardness in profession and other good gifts, but look that our conversation be such, so holy, modest, godly, &c. as that we may stop the mouthes of the bad, and draw on the backward,Doctr. so much as in us lies, and thus shall we adorn the Gospel;Wives professing religion, must shew it by their behavior towards their husbands for their conversion. but the contrary in most is every day too too manifest.
In particular, that Wives professing Religion shew it in all meekness, subjection and good behavior towards their Husbands, according to the rule of Gods Word, may in time be a means to bring home their Husbands to God (What knowest thou, O wife, whether, thou shalt save thine Husband? 1 Cor. 7. 16.saith the Apostle) If not, yet they shall so restrain them, as that they shall be nothing so bad as else they would be, or at least they shall procure their own liberty to hear, read, pray, &c. when their Husbands shall observe, that no hurt comes thereby, but rather that all things prosper well.
O therfore let wives labor to be humble and meek;Use 1. that as David was renowned for delivering Israel out of Goliah's hand,1 Sam. 18. 7. they may be much more, by delivering their Husbands through their godly conversation out of the hands of Satan and Hell: O this is the happiest gains, to gain men unto God! Thus to put out our talents, will be to our Masters greatest advantage, and turn most to our glory: some Christians scatter away from God, through whose ill and undiscreet carriage, God and the Gospel lose much; Assuredly, such can have but little joy of themselves.
And for Husbands that have such good and godly Wives,Use 2. let them be careful to be bettered by them, and won to God, else they shall be brought against them as their Judges; yea, and against such also as live near them,Heb. 11. 7. and yet are not bettered by them: They shall condemn them, as Noah did the old world.