Meditations on the Fall and Rising of Peter, Meditations
MEDITATIONS ON THE Fall and Rising OF PETER.
MEDITAT. I.
PRide and Presumption have been ever, as well in the godly as in the wicked, the forerunners of a Fall. The first man, Adam, the first Apostle, Peter, both fell by these. Had Adam given less ear to the proud perswasion of a weak Sex, and Peter to the presumptions of a weak Confidence, the one had not plung'd his posterity into a depth of wretchedness; nor both, themselves into a depth of sorrow. High conceits and resolutions built on shallow ground, can promise nothing but ruin on the head of him that rais'd them.
MED. II.
WHat can we expect from Peter but a triple denial of his Masters person amongst his enemies, who dares even to his own face make a double denial of his Truth? He that will adventure to deny the truth of Christs Word, will quickly upon temptation deny the profession of his Truth. You all (saith Christ) shall be offended because of me this night. Nay, Lord, answers Peter, though all, yet never I. Yes, Peter, thou more than any: for this very night thou shalt thrice deny me. O no Lord, I know mine own strength, I am so confident of my love unto thee, that neither life nor death can separate me from it. I have a sword in my hand, and I have a sword in my mouth; my Blade and my Profession shall both follow thee unto death. Peter hath not yet learn'd, not to contradict his Master, though once he got nothing but a Satan for it. It is not one either rebuke or disgrace, can root up the untowardness of a corrupt disposition. Weak man! seest thou not how thou hast already begun to deny thy Lord? and even then hast enter'd upon a revolt, when thou seemest most fortified and constant in thy resolution? That man denies him, who denies his Word, he being no longer Christ than he is true. Why then shouldest thou either distrust thy Masters word, which told thee, that all should be offended? or else have any such confident presumption of thine own strength, or uncharitable conceit of thy fellows weakness, as to believe his prediction touching their falling, and yet think he was deceiv'd in thee, who art peremptory and confident of thine own standing? That God which out of true weakness hath ordained strength, doth here out of presumed strength foretel weakness; and as he can make the mouths of babes and sucklings to confess him, so can he suffer the mouth of an Apostle, a Peter, to deny him. Shewing in both the dependance as well of strong as of weak on his Goodness: The strongest Apostle being not able without his sustaining-grace to confess him; and with it, the weakest infant in the street being enabled to cry Hosanna unto him.
MED. III.
I Cannot be so uncharitable as not to believe, That it was Peters Faith and Love which made unto Christ this promise of perseverance in his profession: such fruit and sweetness had he found in those words of eternal life, such power in that Son of the living God, that he could not but think it blessedness to follow and enjoy his society even unto death, who was able to sweeten and sanctifie death it self. But behold, in the same soul, nay in the same action, a mixture, I had almost said a predominancy, of faith and flesh! The desire and the purpose come from faith, the confidence and resolution came from flesh. Self-dependance, pride, or any other carnal affection which is more deeply rooted in the particular nature of any man, do often intermix themselves in his most holy actions. It was faith that made Peter go down upon the Water, but it was flesh that made him begin to sink: Faith made him zealous in Christs Cause, but flesh drew hls sword at Malchus his ear: Faith made him follow Christ, but flesh made him follow afar off: Faith made him accompany Christ to the garden, but flesh made him sleep when he should have sorrowed: Faith made him promise perseverance, but flesh made him peremptory in that promise: in a word, Faith made him resolute to confess, but flesh to contradict his Master. Vows and Promises unconditionally addressed, cannot but prove dangerous to the strongest Faith. God must first give us perseverance, before we can promise it; It is not in our power, though it be our duty to perform it. Though Peter may in the vertue of Christs promise be sure not to fall into Hell, he cannot in the vertue of his own promise be sure not to fall into temptation; though he can be secure that Faith shall have the last victory; yet he cannot that it shall have every victory: though it cannot die and be finally dried up, yet it may ebb, and languish; and though even now it can look undauntedly on the nails of a Cross, yet presently it may be affrighted at the voice of a Maid. He only that hath given faith unto us, can give life and action unto our faith. Christ is both the quickner, and the object of our Faith, by whose power it worketh, and on whose merits it relyeth. When He therefore is pleas'd to remove and withdraw himself, Faith must needs be there unoperative, where both its Object and its Mover is absent. As we cannot see the Sun but by the light of the Sun, so neither can we believe in Christ but by the Grace of Christ. Who can wonder that the outward parts of the body should be benum'd and stupid, when the spirits and animal vertues which should enliven them, have retir'd themselves? Lord! let me never barely promise, but let me withal pray unto thee; and let ever my purpose to die for thee, be seconded with a supplication that I may not deny thee; when ever I have an arm of confidence to lift up in defence of thy Truth, let me have a knee of humility to bow down before thy Throne: Lord, give me what I may promise, and I will promise what thou requirest.
MED. IV.
WEre not the other Disciples taught from the same holy mouth? did they not with the same holy faith receive what they had been taught? Why then should Peter give credit to the word of Christ so far as concern'd their weakness, and yet distrust it in the presumption of his own strength? What though he be the chief in following his Master, may he not as well be the chief in falling from him? I never knew a priority of Order priviledg'd with a precedence of Grace. Yet such is the nature of Greatness, that it conceits it self secure from danger, and apprehends spiritual immunity in temporal honour. How erroneous is the frailty of mans nature! How ready to trust upon an arm of flesh, confidence, free-will, supremacy, even against divine predictions of danger, and thinks it self sufficiently arm'd with that, than which there is no greater cause of its weakness and ruin!
MED. V.
ONE would have thought that Peter upon the noise of a denial, should have begun to tremble, and not to boast; to arm, and not to presume; to suspect his strength, and not promise it: But that a double warning should find a double presumption, would make a man confident to expect an invincible resolution; and believe that even naked and empty nature, being so deeply engaged, would have, if not courage, yet shame enough to persist in such a purpose, which being broken, could not but infer the discredit not only of a weak, but of an inconstant spirit; more faithless in the execution of a promise, more impotent in its contempt of death, than could well stand with the honestly or courage of a Peter. But it is the justice of God to give over nature to faintings and falls, when it relyes upon it self; and to make him fear the least assault, who hath not arm'd himself with that which should defend him against the greatest. One tear or sigh, though emblems of weakness, could more have prevailed to strengthen Peter's Faith, than so many fruitless boasts, the gildings and flourishings of a rotten confidence. A little Peblestone will overturn and sink down a Goliah, when all the Armor of Saul will rather cumber than profit in such a conflict.
MED. VI.
GReat Promises require great cares; and he who hath deeply engag'd himself in any service, must needs be either very vigilant, or very faithless. How is it then that after so many promises I find Peter sleeping even then when his Master is sweating? and that that Garden should be the bed of so secure a rest, which was the Theater of so exquisite and unimitable an anguish? Can he follow Christ a whole night to his Judgment, that cannot watch one hour for his comfort? can he command his life to be laid down for Christs Truth, that cannot command his eyes to be the witnesses of his sorrow? so long as we are out of the view of danger, we can make large promises of our strength to bear it; but when once it draws near, and creeps upon us, we begin to look with another colour both on it and our selves, and become either desperately fearful, or supinely stupid. Like untoward and forgetful children, which never fear the Rod till they feel it.
MED. VII.
I Cannot wonder that Peter should fall off, being tempted, who is already, though unquestion'd, so far behind; that he should tremble at the terror of Death, who cannot endure the trouble of a Watch. He must learn more to deny himself, before he can take up his Cross. The nights of a resolved Martyr, must be spent in the studies of patience, not in security and ease; he must first be a persecutor of himself, and exercise a holy cruelty on his own flesh, by cruncifying the lusts thereof, before he can be able to overcome the wit, and most exquisite inventions of his tormentors, in a holy and undaunted patience. The Soul must be first rais'd unto Heaven, before the body can be willing to go down into the earth. Had Peter watch'd and accompanied his Master, he might have receiv'd further encouragement in his resolution to die for him, and learn'd from the extremity of his anguish, if not to hate life, which could make a man subject to such expressless sorrow; yet at least willingly to embrace the present opportunity of glorifying God by a constant death; even for this respect, that thereby he might be freed from the capacity and danger of those afflictions, which he should there have seen flesh and blood lyable unto. Of how many precious occasions of good does the too great love of our flesh and ease deprive us? Every man would love God more, if he could be more out of love with himself.
MED. VIII.
I Cannot expect other, but that he should follow Christ afar off, who goes sleepily after him; nor can I hope for courage from his tongue, whose feet begin so soon to play the Cowards. It is not likely that he will come near Christ in Golgotha, that follows him afar off in the Judgment-hall: if he be unwilling to seem his, he will be quickly ready to deny him. Behold the beginnings of Peter's backsliding in his very following of Christ! To follow him indeed is a work of Faith; but to follow afar off, is nothing else but by little and little to go back from him. See how the preparations unto Peter's fall second each other. After sleeping, he follows afar off; and from that, he comes to sitting still; and that not in private to pray or repent, but in publick to warm himself at that fire, where his Conscience, though not seared, was yet made more hard. He which prefers the heat of a fire, compassed in with the blasphemies of wicked men (the nearest pattern that can be of Hell) to the sweet society of his Saviour, with the discommodity of a cold air, and an ensuing Judgment, cannot be far from denying of him. That man whom the enjoying of any temporal benefit, or the opportunity of any sensual and worldly delight, can induce to forsake the company of Christ, (who is ever present in his Ordinances) is at the next door (if occasion were given) to Apostacy and backsliding.
MED. IX.
THE Devil hath a kind of method and colour of modesty in his Temptations. He knew that it would not sort with the Holiness of Peter, to shoot at the first a fiery dart towards him, and tempt him in the very beginning of his onset, unto a perjur'd and blasphemous denial of his Master. Peter would have at the first trembled at so fearful a suggestion. And therefore, like a cunning Captain, he so ranks and musters up his forces, as that the first Temptation shall like weaker Soldiers make way for the latter, which are the old experienced and sturdy fighters; the former serve only to weaken Peter, the latter to overthrow him. At the first the Devil tempts us to small sins, to remit something of our wonted vigor, to indulge a little unto our corrupt desires, to unbend our thoughts, and to slacken our pace in prosecution of good courses, that by cooling our selves we may be able to hold out the better; but when he hath drawn us thus far, he hath gotten the advantage of us; and having a door open, lets in his more ugly and horrid Temptations. Sin hath its several ages and growths; first, it is but conceiv'd and shap'd in the womb of Concupiscence; then it is nourished and given suck by the embraces and delights of the Will, as of a Nurse; then lastly, it grows into a strong man, and doth of it self run up and down our little World, invade all the faculties of Soul and Body, which are at last made the instruments of Satan to act and fulfill it. Satan at the first leads us downward towards Hell, as it were, by steps and stairs, which though they go lower and lower, yet we seem still to have firm footing, and to be able to go back at pleasure. But at last we find, as the way more and more slippery, so the enemy ready at hand to push us down into a dungeon of unrecoverable misery, did not Gods mercy pluck us as a brand out of the fire. Peter first sleeps only, that seemed the exigence of his nature; then he followed afar off, that haply was pretended to be only the drowsiness of his sleeping; then he sits down at the sire, and that was but the coldness of the air: But then comes denying, swearing, cursing; and had not Christ in time looked back upon him, the next step and regress, would have reach'd unto the jaws of Hell. But it was the great Wisdom and Mercy of Christ to honour the estate of his ignominy and reproach, his death and judgment, with two of his greatest Miracles, The assuming of a repentant Thief, and the re-assuming of a revolted Disciple.
MED. X.
IT is no wonder if Peter be tempted to forsake his Master, when he is far off from him. How can he chuse but stumble and fall, who hideth himself from the Sun of Righteousness, who is absent from the Light of the World, who wanders out of the way of Life, who is beyond the voice of that word of Truth which only succoreth, directeth, leadeth, instructeth in Holiness and Security? He which testifieth his Faith by following, and yet lays open his flesh and weakness by following afar off, shall be sure to meet with such an enemy as hates our Faith, and therefore takes advantage by our weakness to oppose it. Our Faith provokes him to enmity, for he is adversary to none so much as those that are out of his power; and our weakness invites him to an assault, for he trembles and flies from opposition. Had Peter abode in the company of his Lord, Satan would not have dar'd to tempt him unto a Tripledenial in the presence of such a power, whence he had formerly received such a Triple-overthrow, having been himself broken with those stones, and hurled down from that Pinacle and Mountain, in which he thought to have batter'd and broken in pieces the Salvation of the World by the overthrow of its Saviour. Or if perhaps he would have been so impudent, or so venturous, as to thrust into the presence of his Maker, and before him to issue forth his Temptations; yet this advantage should Peter have had, that he should have been directed with more light, and assisted with greater strength to resist so impudent an assault; his Faith haply should bave been confirmed, though his adversaries malice had not been abated. And we know the Devil never overcomes any, that is not first overcome of himself. What danger is there in fighting, where, there is no danger of falling? or what difference is there between an unoppos'd security, and an assaulted strength, save that this is more glorious, the other no whit the more safe? He is not far from Satans temptations, who belonging to Christ, is yet far off from his presence and assistance. None nearer the fury of a strong and bloody malice, than a weak and stragling enemy.
MED. XI.
I Never read of more dangerous falls in the Saints, than were Adams, Lots, Sampsons, Davids, Solomons and Peters; and behold in all these, either the first Inticers, or the first Occasioners are Women. A weak Creature may be a strong Tempter; nothing too impotent or useless for the Devils service. We know it is the pride of Satan to imitate God; As God magnifies his power in bringing strength out of weakness, so doth the Devil labour to gain the glory of a strong enemy, by the ruinating of a great Saint with the Temptation of a weak Sex. Nor is he herein more apish than cunning: for the end of the Devils conflicts is the despair of his enemy. He gets Judas to betray his Master, that he may after get him to hang himself. And he hath the same end in Peter's Denial, which he had in Judas his Treason. Now what is there that can more draw a man to Despair, than an apprehension of greatness in his sin? and what fall greater, than to be foiled by a Question by a Maid? What could more aggravate Peter's sin, than that the voice of a Maid should be stronger to overcome him, than the Faith in a Jesus to sustain him? The Devil tempts us, that he may draw us unto sin; but he tempts us by weak Instruments, that he may draw us unto despair.
MED. XII.
WOman was the first Sinner; and behold in the two greatest falls, and most immediate denials of God, Adam's, and Peter's, Woman is made the first Tempter. So much as any one is the Devils slave to serve him, so much is he his Instrument to assist sin. A Sinner will be presently a Tempter.
MED. XIII.
PEter hath no sooner denied his Master, but he goes out farther from him. See what a concord there is between our Members in sinning! how the action of the Foot bears witness to the apostacy of the Tongue! But why should Peter get him out for fear of an Attachment, and farther Examination, having already by his denial clear'd himself, and (for ought he sees) satisfied his adversay? Surely there is no security to be expected from the denial of our Lord. He which thinks to gain ease by sinning, misseth of his end, and shall be more afraid after he hath clear'd himself by Apostacy, than he was before. 'Tis not the way to avoid the storms of danger, by making shipwrack of a good Conscience; and to free our selves from the hands of men, by running upon the wrath of God. He which hides himself in the hedg of wickedness from danger, shall meet with a Serpent instead of safety; and shall be so much the more suspicious of other mens fury and persecution, by how much the more he is sensible that he hath deserv'd it. Peter sate boldly amongst them while he was in danger; he hath no sooner made his Apology, but he is gone straight. The same that befell Peter here in denying his dependance on his Saviour, did once befall Adam in denying the Truth of his Maker; the next news which you hear of them, is their flight, their fear. Sin is ever deceitful, and pays nothing less than what it promiseth. The first thing that ever painted it self, was Sin.
MED. XIV.
IS the nature of Woman more inquisitive, or more malignant, that amongst so many other servants, a Woman should begin the second accusation? The Devil will double a weak Temptation, if it have proved prosperous; and looks rather to the issue, than to the Instruments of his assaults. The first Maid tempted Peter by questioning him; this second by accusing him to the other Servants: from which latter we may infer, That those who are aptest to Tempt, are aptest to Accuse. These two are the Devils grand Instruments to work the ruin of Mankind. He first tempts a man to sin, and then he accuseth him to God. And therefore he hath both names in an equal propriety, a Tempter, and an Accuser, and these on all sides. He first tempted man to forsake his Maker, and accused his Maker of deceiving man; next he tempts God to Judgment upon man, by accusing man of wickedness towards God: and lastly, after he hath tempted any man unto sin, he begins to accuse him to his brethren without, and his own Conscience within. Ever when thou feelest an assault, begin to fear an accusation; and learn to prevent the Devils Malice, by resisting his Temptation.
MED. XV.
WE may here see the method of Satan. His first Temptation is by one only Maid, his second by many Servants that stood by. The more weak and naked he finds us, with the greater force he makes upon us; using his first assault to try, but his second to wound us: As in the battery or breaking open of a City, one man may serve for a spie to watch the Gates, to take notice of the Defences, and to make relation of the weaknesses or force of either; but when they are by his report found unable for resistance, there then follows the irruption of a whole army, bringing nothing but the threats of blood and slaughter: So is it with Satan towards our Souls; after he hath sent one smaller Temptation as a spie to observe our Fortifications, and upon the success and report of it, finds how weak we are to withstand his forces, he then rushes in upon us with a multitude of his armed and more able servants; who certainly would take possession of us, and hold us in peace as their own, did not a stronger than he come upon him, and overcome him, and divide the spoils.
MED. XVI.
THE form and manner of Peter's second Denial, is (not without special reason as I conceive) diversly related. In one Evangelist the words are, I know not the man; in another, I am not of them. One would think these were two Denials. May not a man know him, unless he follow him? No. Behold a mystery of Faith in the fall of Peter. No man knows Christ unless he be one of them that follow him, and to whom he hath united himself. If it had been true, I am not one of them, it had been true also, I know not the man. All knowledg consists in mixture and union, whereby the understanding receiveth into it the image and similitude of the thing which it knows; which made the Philosopher say, That the Soul in understanding a thing is made the very thing which it understands; namely, in that sense as we call the Image of the Face in a Glass, the Face it self; or the Impression in Wax, the Seal it self. Now then there is no union between Christ and us, no dwelling of him in us, no ingrafture, or incorporation of us into him, without that Faith whereby we follow him, which makes us to be so nearly one with him, that (in the judgment of the learned) the name of Christ is sometimes in the holy Scriptures taken for the Church of Christ. And therefore to those that believe, to them only he hath given to know. Christ is not truly apprehended either by the fancy or the understanding. He is at once known and possess'd. It is an Experimental, and not a Speculative knowledg that concieves him: He understands him, that feels him. We see him in his Grace and Truth, in his Word and Promises, not in any carnal or gross presence. Pilate knew him in that manner, and Judas, as well as Peter. A true Believer can see and know him better in Heaven at the right hand of his Father, by a Sacramental, than a Papist can on the Altar, in the Jewish and Pilate-hands of a Mass-Priest, by a Transubstantiated bread. Let their Faith have the assistance of teeth and jaws; ours, though toothless, eats him with less injury, and with more nourishment.
MED. XVII.
THE encrease of the Enemies Temptation, accumulates unto the Apostles sin. When Peter is pressed a second time, and with more strong opposition, he conceives a naked and empty denial, to be an implicite confession; and therefore that he may make them more credulous, he makes himself more impious; and to gain Faith with men, he not only denies, but forswears his Faith with God, making Christ himself the Witness and Patron not only of a Lie, but also of a Revolt. With how deep a die of sin, with how many degrees of corruption, will the habit of Faith consist! That failed not Peter, though the exercise thereof were a while smuther'd and suspended. Christ's prayer was stronger to preserve it, than his denial to root it out. That very action, which if it had proceeded from a heart qualified with other dispositions of stubborness, malice, and obduration, would have been the irremediable sin against the Holy Ghost; was in Peter, proceeding from fear and weakness, the sin of a believing and faithful heart. How may the Godly in this one Example both learn to despair of their own strength, which cannot without Christ's assistance uphold them from so deep a fall; and not to despair of his mercy, which can keep Faith in a corner of that very heart, which lies drench'd and weltering in its own blood; and can raise up unto Martyrdom a man that had so deeply plung'd himself into Apostacy! He that suffer'd Judas to be the horrid subject of his Judgment, rais'd Peter from a sin (I verily think) in it self as great, to be the Preacher and Witness of his Mercy.
MED. XVIII.
HOW leprous and spreading is sin? how weak and impotent is nature? how unsatisfiabl and importunate is the Devil and his Instruments? A double temptation is not enough on Satans part, after a double denial; nor is a double denial on Peter's part enough confirm'd by a single perjury. The Devil goes farther in Tempting, the poor Disciple goes farther in Denying: The truth whereof, that he may the more easily enforce it, he confirms, according to the Law, by two, but those wicked Witnesses; and to a second Oath is there join'd an Execration. An Execration strong and deep enough to make Peter no lyar, though an Apostate; I mean to verifie the truth of his denial, and to make him indeed none of those who alone knew their Saviour For it was (if the word retain here the same force which it doth in St. Paul's Epistle to the Romans) a curse greater than any curse, even an Anathema, a wish of eternal separation from the presence of God. It is no wonder if he dare deny Christ in earth, and in dishonour, who can adventure to wish an eternal absence from him in Heaven in his Glory. I never remember any Anathema that proceeded not from Love and Fear; That of Moses and Paul from love of the safety, and fear of the destruction of their Brethren; that of Peter, from a love of himself, and a fear of death. How strong and violent are Passions, whether holy or natural, when once truly apprehensive of their object? How secure and negligent can they make Peter of his eternal estate, to avoid perhaps but the displeasure of a mortal man? It is the misery and error of corrupt nature, to shelter it self against danger under sin, and to think it self sufficiently safe, when it is violently wicked.
MED. XIX.
HE hath not only deserv'd a Curse, but provok'd it, that hath prayed for it; who could but expect the Execution after the Petition? But behold the mercy of a provoked God! Though Peter have asked a stone, a corner-stone to fall upon him, and grind him to powder, yet he giveth him instead thereof, the bread of Eternal Life, the wine of repentant tears: Though he craye a Serpent, a fiery Serpent to sting him for ever unto death, yet he like a compassionate Saviour gives him the voice of a Cock, the sight of a brazen Serpent to recover his wounds. Peter hath provided a whole load of sins for Christ to carry to his approaching Cross; and Christ hath thrown on him such a burden of Mercies, as shall sink him deeper in the waters of Repentance and admiration, than he was before in danger.
MED. XX.
ONE would think, that such a great recovery should be effected by the hand of some glorious Ministry, by the voice of an Angel or a Prophet. But see a Miracle in weakness! A Cock is made, as it were, a John Baptist, to forerun the look of Christ, and to preach Repentance. That God which can in power work without means, does in wisdom make use of the befest, and can open the mouth of a beast for the conversion of a man. How careful ought we to be in the use of Means, when God seldom worketh without them? How humble in the use of Prayer, when the Means work not without God? The ordinary courses of nature, the most accidental occurrences in the World, are sanctified unto the good of the Elect, and are the Instruments of God for their Salvation.
MED. XXI.
BUT why should our Saviour in this great work chuse the service of a Cock for the ministry of Repentance? There is ever some mystery in Christ's Instruments. If he will give sight to a blind man by impotent and unlikely means, they shall be a mixture of something out of his own mouth, with something out of the Earth, to shew that the vertue of Christ's mouth in the earthy and clayie Vessels of mortal men, is of force to open the eyes of the ignorant and impenitent. Christ in this Crow of the Cock hath given Peter as well an Example to follow, as an Occasion to repent; as well taught him in the execution of his Apostleship, as converted him from the estate of a backslider. A true Minister that loves Christ and his Sheep, must have the Wings of a Cock to rouze up first himself from security; and then being converted, powerfully to awaken and strengthen others: and the Watchfulness of a Cock, to be ever ready to discover and forewarn danger; and the Voice of a Cock, to cry aloud, and tell Israel of their sins, and terrifie the roaring Lion that seeks to devour them: and lastly, the Hours of a Cock, to preach in season, and out of season, the glad tydings of Salvation.
MED. XXII.
WHO would think that a weak Cock should be able to do more with Peter, than Prophets and Apostles with other men? That the noise of a Cock's Crow should be heard so deep as the confines of Hell? Surely no man, if these weak means were not quickned and seconded with the look of Christ. He first turns and looks back in mercy upon Peter, before Peter can return in sorrow and repentance unto him. By him live, and move, and have their being, as well Christians as Creatures. The very Faithful themselves would lie still in that depth of sin whereinto they have been plunged, if that Power which in wisdom suffers them to fall in, should not in grace and pity raise them up. Peter cannot remember the word of his Master, till Christ remember the misery of his Disciple.
MED. XXIII.
SEE here the greatness of Christs Grace! one would think that he should have been wholly taken up with the dishonour of his present condition, with the sense of his Father's Desertion, with the foresight of his approaching sufferings. And yet behold, when he is wholly possess'd of weakness, he is yet at leisure for a work of power. The righteous Justice of his God, and the unjust cruelty of his enemies, were not able to drive him from the remembrance or exercise of his mercy. He that came to suffer all these things for man, does in the midst of his sufferings remember man, honouring the scorns and buffets of his Judgment, with the Conversion of a faln Apostle; and the Nails and Ignominies of his Cross, with the Conversion of a reviling Thief.
MED. XXIV.
AND now methinks I see in the face of Christ, a throng and a conflict of Affections. One while I see an angry and upbraiding face against Peter's revolt; another while a pitiful face, commiserating his frailty; then a merciful face, converting him; and next a gracious and favourable face, inviting him. If it were a face of Anger, see then the nature of Faith in Peter and all the Godly, which through the clouds of his displeasure can discover the comfortable light and beams of a Saviour, as well as through his vail of flesh and dishonour, discern the Power and Majesty of God, like the Woman in the Gospel, whose Faith could interpret the very odious name of Dog, uttered from the mouth of Christ, to be a trial of her, and not a rejection; rather a hiding than a denying of mercy. If it were a face of Grace and Invitation, see the nature of sin, which is to make a man afraid even of an appeased God; and of Repentance, which when the Soul is invited to the rivers of joy which make glad Gods City, can be at leisure to drink of those bitter tears, which make heavy the hearts of sinners. If it were a pitiful and commiserating face, see how it works alike Qualities in Peter, who then only can begin to lament himself, when he is first lamented by his Saviour. Lord! never let thy saving face be turned back from me, but be thou always pleased to look upon me, whether in tender displeasure, or in a pitiful mercy; that so I may be driven by sorrow out of my self, and by faith unto thee.
MED. XXV.
THE first beginning of Peter's Repentance, is a Remembrance of the words of Christ, an applicative and feeling recordation of them. How powerful is Temptation to banish out of mans mind all conceit of Gods Truth, or his own danger! He that is too mindful of his safety, will be too unmindful of his Faith. A sanctified Memory, whether in retaining of Divine Truth, or in presenting our own sins, is an excellent preparative to Repentance; and like a steddy wind, doth collect and draw together those clouds, whence shall after issue forth those happy tears.
MED. XXVI.
BUT what was it that Peter remembred? It is not said, Peter now consider'd how he stood naked and open to the flames of Hell, or how he had expos'd himself to the scourges of an inward Tormentor, to the scorchings of a bosom-hell, his Conscience, or to the fearful judgment and revenge of him whom he had injur'd by denying; and therefore he went out and wept: It was fear that made him fall, it made him not repent: But it was only the merciful prediction of Christ which he remember'd; what slight esteem he had made of that gracious caution which should have arm'd him against Temptations: and this made him go out and weep. The abuse of Gods mercy, the grieving of Gods Spirit, the undervaluing of Gods Truth, more wounds the Soul of a repentant sinner, than all the gripes of Conscience, or flames of Hell.
MED. XXVII.
BUT what makes thee (O blessed Convert) thus to start and turn upon the Look of thy Lord, and the remembrance of thy sin, as if the repentance for the denial of thy Tongue, had made thy Foot again to deny thy Master? Whither runnest thou, Peter, from such a fountain of Mercy? Hast thou either mistaken the Look of thy Saviour, which was to draw and reunite thee unto him, not to drive or banish thee from him? or hath thy sorrow drown'd thy Faith, and made thee forget that glorious profession which thou once didst make out of a happy knowledg of experience and belief that Christ had the words of Eternal Life? and whither then goest thou? Hast thou forgotten that he had balm to cure thy grief, and blood to blot out thy sin? that he could at once both comfort and restore thee, and render unto thee thy former joy and grace? Why didst thou not run into his embraces, and in token of thy repentance and belief, in thy body lay hold upon him, and wash him with thy tears against his Burial? But behold the mystery of Peter's recover'd Faith! see how he acknowledgeth his Saviour when he turneth from him; and is reinvested with the honour of a Disciple, though he seem still rather to forsake, than to follow his Lord. His Repentance doth in action confirm, what his Faith once did in words confess, That Christ was the Son of the Living God. Behold in the departure of Peter, an Article of thy Faith, even the Divinity of thy Saviour. Had not Christ been as well without, where Peter wept, as within the Hall where the Jews blasphemed, Peter had again denied, and not return'd unto his Lord: and that which is now a mystery, would have been a revolt. It is nothing but Faith that from without could still through the Walls look into the House, and there through the infirmity of a buffetted and contemned body, descry the glory of a merciful and reconciled God. It is nothing but Faith that can from Earth look into the highest Heaven; and when it is absent from Christ, not only groan after him, but grasp and lay hold upon him. The Ubiquity of Christ gives unto that Believer who hath interest in him, a kind of Ubiquity also: And as he is in Earth by his Power, though in Heaven by his Presence: So a Believer, though in his Body on the Earth, yet is in Heaven by his Faith. It is the nature of Faith to give, as subsistence and being unto things yet to come, so a kind of presence also unto things most remote and distant; and can even converse, and lay hold on Christ, though he be in Heaven.
MED. XXVIII.
BUT what, Peter! though thou canst find thy Saviour without the Hall, is there no comfort to be taken in his sensible Presence? doth the possession of Faith make vain and fruitless the fruition of sight? Is it not some joy to see him, because it is so much Blessedness to believe in him? Was there health in his Garment, and is there no pleasure in his Presence? Was the Womb blessed that held him, and is there not some blessedness in the eyes that see, and the hands that embrace him? Was it from Temptation, which had before foiled thee, that thou didst fly as a burnt Child from the fire? Was the voice of a Virgin able to drive thee from the Son of a Virgin; or the Challenge of a Servant, from the presence of a Lord? Was not that Look able to confirm thee, which was able to convert thee? Or couldst thou fear to fall from the Rock, thy Saviour, because thou hadst before faln from the Sand, thy Presumption? Or was it out of a loathing of that place of blasphemy where thy Master and thy God did suffer the base reproaches of wicked men? could the air of that place be infectious, where was so precious, so innocent, so saving a breath to sweeten it? Was the blasphemy of a Jew more pestilent to pollute, than the Grace of thy Jesus to sanctifie the High-Priests Hall? The presence of Christ could make that place a Heaven to Peter, which the blasphemies of a Jew had made his Hell. It was neither the vileness of the place, nor the question of a Servant which could have done thee any violence. They might tempt, they could not wound thee. A Mountain stands unmov'd though the Winds be impetuous, when a smaller breath not only shakes but breaks down a reed. If thy Lord have given thee strength, thy Adversary cannot give thee a fall: If he beckon on thee to turn, thou art by his finger sufficiently arm'd against a Torment, a Devil, much more against a Temptation, a Maid. But such is the recovery of Faith, as of Health, it proceeds by degrees, from weakness unto strength, from fear unto confidence, and dares not trust in Christ without some trembling. Peter is assured of his Master's love, and yet he is ashamed of his own sin. Shame is ever sins companion. He durst not to look that Master in the face, whom so lately he had denied: He could with the Publican knock his breast, he could not look up to Heaven, to the face of his Master; he could pray unto Christ, he could not accompany him. And as the modesty of nature makes a man able to deliver more of his mind in absence than in presence: so the shame of sin makes Peter more confident without, than within the Hall.
MED. XXIX.
WE find not that Peter after this, saw Christ till his Resurrection: And then none so particularly invited unto his sight, none so forward and hasty to have recourse unto the Garden. Was it grief at his Master's misery, or at his own sin (with the lamentation of both which, he could best in private glut himself)? or was it fear of the Majesty in his Master's face, or of weakness in his own breast, which drave him out of the Hall to weep? surely perhaps all. He departed from the face of his Lord, from the company of his Tempters, provoked thereunto by the shame of his Fall, by the experience of his frailty: He departed from the committing of more sin, from the sight of more misery, because he knew not whether he should find more mercy, or be able to bear more sorrow. But when once Christ through the power of his Resurrection, had cloth'd himself with Glory, and Peter by the Angels message was uncloth'd of fear, none more hasty to enjoy the benefit of his real Presence. He ran, and went down into the Sepulcher, not hoping to see there a weak and captive body, but (as he did) a conquer'd and deceived grave; only the relicks of weakness, and the witnesses of power. What haste, think we, made he to rise up unto his Saviour's Kingdom, that was so ready to go down into his grave? when Nature is rais'd up from her ruins and decays, when the Conscience is cleans'd from the guilt of sin, or burden of sorrow, when a lapsed Saint hath regain'd his measure of Grace and Tranquility, he is so much the more speedy in Heavenly pursuits, by how much his former fall had been a disadvantage to his progress: and those sharp sins which, being acted, did wound him, do now, being remembred, only spur him forward in his way. The very sins of the Godly, contrary to the barrenness of their own nature (which bringeth forth nothing but death), are by the Mercy and Wisdom of God, made fruitful and of use unto them. The Devil in wounding them, wounds himself; and though his fiery darts may perhaps at first find entrance; yet when they come to the bottom of a faithful heart, they meet there with a Rock of Salvation, from whence they are driven back into the face of him that threw them. When the Devil batters any one Vertue in a Saint, he does in the issue nothing else but pluck out the stones of his own building. Though he breaks David's bones, though he sift and winnow Peter's Faith; yet both, when they are restor'd, will be like a broken bone, stronger; and like Wheat sifted, finer; and will also by instructing and confirming of others; draw more men from him, than he before had done Graces from them.
MED. XXX.
PEter had expected great security in the Denial of his Saviour; and behold the issue and upshot of all, He wept birterly. Now are his eyes turned, as it were, into a Valley of Megiddo, his head into a fountain of water, and his soul is even drench'd in whole floods of sorrow… Sin is not only deceitful in depriving us of those hoped Immunities which we seek for in it, but fruitful likewise in an ample encrease of evil. It not only depriveth us of comfort, but heapeth unto our misery. Like a great thick cloud, which not only interposeth between the Sun of Righteousness and us, hiding the light of his Countenance from us, but withal also showres down on our deceived Souls whole storms of wo and shame. There is ever a Weeping follows Sin. Either such a desperate weeping as hath that dreadful Concomitant added unto it, Gnashing of teeth, or such a Repentant weeping as is sealed up from the mouth of Christ himself with a Blessing until the day of Redemption. And blessed indeed are the tears of a converted revolter; and happy is this very misery of a mourning offender; for as water boiling and running over, puts out that fire which first rais'd it up; So the Tears of true Repentance serve to extinguish those flames and terrors of Conscience, and to blot out those burning sins (the issues of Satans fiery Temptations) which first caused them, by the means of Christ's Grace, to run over. Lord! give us in the first place thy sustaining Grace, which may preserve us from the danger of great and scandalous offences: But if thy Wisdom find it otherwise requisite, to punish our presumptions with a temporary desertion, and by withdrawing thy power to let us be foiled with the assault of carnal Temptations; yet never deny us that Restoring Grace, which may re-establish us in the favour. Give us, if not the Grace of Standing, yet the Grace of Weeping; that though we cannot be Innocent, we may be Repentant.
FINIS.
End of the text · Edward Reynolds, Meditations on the Fall and Rising of Peter (1677)