Considerations Concerning Marriage, Part 1
I. The Honour of Mariage.
Heb. 12.4. foreignMAriage is honourable, in all (ſaith Paul) of high eſteem and great account among all ſorts of Perſons, high and low; rich and poor. and the bed (conſidered in it ſelf) is undefiled. Adam and Eve might have uſed it in their Innocencie. This is common to all mankind.
Reaſ. 1. from the Author.Reaſ. 1. From the efficiency or Author of it, that is God, 5 wayes.
1 By juſtification. Mariage is Gods ordidinance; he firſt invented it and appointed it. What is of God is excellent and honourable.
2 By adminiſtration, he maried Adam and Eve. When he had builded the rib he took out of the mans ſide into a woman, Gen. 2.22.he brought her to the man, that is, joyned her in mariage with him, and God is ſaid, now to joyn man and wife together, Math. 19.6. that is, by his ordinance, and by his providence.
3 By Qualification of the Perſons for a Matrimonial Relation; Gen. 2.18.making the woman to be a help meet for the man; and the Man to be a fit head and guide, for the woman. This is Gods work, A prudent wife is from the Lord. Prov. 19.14. So is a loving Husband. God makes them ſo.
4 By Benediction, God bleſſeth them together to make them partakers of al the Ends and comforts of mariage. As he did Adam and Eve, when he had made them and maried them, Gen. 1.28. Gen. 33 5.he pronounced a large bleſſing upon them, ſaying, Be fruitful and multiply and repleniſh the earth. Children, and famlies. Pſalm. 107.41. are Gods gifts.
5 By Miſſion of his Angels, which God ſends forth to be miniſtring ſpirits to his ſervants for aſſiſtance in this buſineſs; as to Abrahams Servant, when his Maſter ſent him to Meſopotamia, to take a wife unto his ſon Iſaac, and to Ioſeph, Mary's Eſpouſed husband, Gen. 24.7.21.40. Math. 1.20.Math. 1.20. and 2.13. The Miniſtry of Angels about mariage (by Direction and protection) implyes it to be weighty and worthy in it ſelf, though unto many it ſeemeth Worldly and baſe.
Reaſ. 2. from the ſubject and circumſtances.Reaſ. 2. From the Subject and Circumſtances of mariage at the firſt. Who were the firſt couple whom God maried? Adam and Eve, who were the common Parents of all Man-kind; of all the Kings, Queens, Princes and Nobles in the world; yea of Jeſus Chriſt according to the fleſh. Even he was The Son of Adam, Luke 3.38.
Where was mariage firſt Celebrated? In paradiſe, where God manifeſted his preſence to our firſt Parents; which made the place a Heaven upon Earth.
When was mariage firſt inſtituted and miniſtred? In the time of mans Innocency, before his fall. Before ſin entred into the world. Therefore there is no ſin in Mariage; but mariage is now a Remedy againſt ſin.
The perſons, place and Time of the firſt mariage, or of mariage at the firſt, doe put Honour upon it.
Reaſ. 3 From Jeſus Chriſt.Reaſ. 3. From Jeſus Chriſt who highly honoured mariage, not onelyonly by chuſing to be conceived and born of a woman Eſpouſed to a man; and by his preſence at that mariage in Cana of Galilee, where he wrought his firſt miracle, John. 2.1, 2, 10.11.and manifeſted forth his Glory by turning water into wine; and by comparing the kingdom of Heaven to a weddin▪ Mat. 22.feaſt. But eſpecially by chuſing a Conjugal Relation to ſtand in to his Church (as husband to wife) and therein
1. To manifeſt and Communicate himſelf to her.
2. To ſolace and delight himſelf with her.
3. To gloryfie himſelf in her; and her with himſelf for ever in Heaven.
This mariage is begun between Chriſt and his Church and every true believer in Eſpouſal upon Earth, Hoſea 2.19. 2 Cor. 11.2. and it is conſummated in Heaven, Revel. 19.7, 8, 9.
Bleſſed are they which are called to the Mariage-ſupper of the Lamb; that is as ſome expound it, the Time of Celeſtial Joyes.
Hence the Civil mariage between man and wife is made by Paul, a figure or repreſentation of the Myſtical Mariage between Chriſt and his Church, and every childe of God; in reſpect of the union, or neer conjunction of them. (This is now bone of my bone and fleſh of my fleſh, ſaid Adam of his wife, Gen. 2 23. we are members of his (that is Chriſts) body, of his fleſh, and of his bones, ſaith Paul of Saints and Beleivers, Epheſ. 5.30. and of Conjugal Communion between them. Therefore Paul concludes verſe 32. This is a great Myſtery, but I ſpeak concerning Chriſt and the Church: as if he had ſaid, All I have written concerning husband and Wife, ſets forth the Matrimonial Relation and fellowſhip between Chriſt and his Church, his expreſſions of love to her; and interchangeably her duties to him.
Let me adde, Is it not an honour to Mariage that a moſt ſweet choice Piece of Scripture was indited by the Holy Ghoſt, as an Epithalamium or Mariage-ſong, called The Song of Songs, that is, Cant. 1.1.of all ſongs the moſt excellent, becauſe it celebrateth the Myſtical Mariage between Chriſt and the Church; and poureth forth a Torrent of Spiritual love that is between them. The forty and fi…th Pſalm is of the ſame ſubject, A Pſalm of Love, or Mariage-Hymn, ſetting forth Chriſt the bridegroom in his Glory; and the Church his ſpouſe in her beauty.
Reaſ. 4. … General conſent.Reaſ. 4. From General Conſent and Opinion, which (as ſome obſerve) hath ſetled mariage in Dignity and Honour:Regers of Matrimonial Honour. and graced it with Priviledges, and granted Immunities to it far above ſingle life, both in war and peace.
Ʋſe 1. Slight not Mariage.Ʋſe 1. Think not ſlightly of Mariage as a low contemptible thing; but highly, as a Solemn Ordinance of God, of great conſequence and Importance to you; wherein the future Comfort of your Lives is bound up. Therefore enter not raſhly into it, but adviſedly with due conſideration for the choiſe of a fi… yoke-fellow. Prov. 20.….Every purpoſe (ſaith Solomon) is eſtabliſhed by Counſel, and with good advice make war. I may adde, with good advice ma…y: becauſe Mariage is not upon liking (God hates putting away, Mala. 2.16) but for life. It is the tying of ſuch a knot as nothing but death can looſe: it is a buſineſſe of laſting importance. An Errour therein may prove dangerous. Shall we account that Relation or condition mean or inconſiderable, whereof God himſelf was the Inſtitutor and Miniſter? Adam and Eve the firſt couple? and Paradiſe the place where, and Innocency the ſtate or Time when Mariage was celebrated at firſt? which Chriſt hath choſen to act into his Church unto Eternity?
Ʋſe 2. Preſerve the Honour of it.Ʋſe 2. Then Husbands and Wives ſhould preſerve the Honour of Mariage in their Carriage; and not blemiſh or ſtain the Glory of it, Either
1. By being light, vain, looſe, frolick in their ſpirits or demeanour, for that is a diſhonour to the Gravity of Mariage.
2. Or by being froward, peeviſh, proud, ſullen, diſcontented, impatient, diſdainful in their ſpirits or carriage; for that is a diſhonour to the Amity, Suavity and Society of Mariage.
3. Or by unfaithfulneſſe and bodily uncleanneſſe, embracing the boſoms of ſtrangers; for that is a diſhonour to the Unity, Purity, Chaſtity of Mariage. Whoremongers and Adulterers God will judge, Hebr. 13.4.if Magiſtrates do not.
4 Or by loving any other man or woman in a conjugal way, better then his own wife, or her own Husband. This is a diſhonour to Gods Juſtification of mariage and to the mariage-bond and covenant; which tieth Husband and wife, to forſake all others, in this way; and to cleave in love one to another, inſeparably, till death.
Ʋſe. 3. Honour God in mariage.Ʋſe. 3 Then, take Care and indeavour to honour God, in your Mariage, by marying in the Lord, 1 Cor. 7.39. and 11.11.
Qu. What is it to marry in the Lord?
Anſ. To make God the beginning and end of our Mariage.
1 The beginning of it, Make God the beginning of Mariage.by ſeeking earneſtly to God for councel & direction therein: for guidance of our Affection to a right object; for the choice of a fit yoak-fellow: for making the Woman a Comfortable help, and the man a ſutable Head; expecting to receive one another, as a ſpecial giſt and token of favour from the hand of God. For who findeth a wiſe, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord, ſaith Solomon, Prov. 18.22. Prov. 19.14.And, Houſe and riches are the Inheritance of fathers (a man may have a woman and a portion from her father) but a prudent wife (or the Qualifications of a woman to make her a wife) is from the Lord: the ſame may be ſaid of the man. Alſo, by looking chiefly at or for the grace of God, one in another, as the load-ſtone of our love, and the inkindler of our affections each to other. Look more at inward goodneſs then at outward goods or beauty: eſpecially at ſutableneſs in Religion, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, ſaith Paul 2 Cor. 6.14. Do not mary with Idolaters or Infidels, this is foreign, as when beaſts of diverſe kinds draw together; an ox and an aſſe might not be coupled together in the law. Deu…. 22.10.We ſhould be affraid to yoke our ſelves with any untamed heifers or bullocks, that will not bear Chriſts yoke. We ſhould let Religion have a Negative voice in our choice, that is not to mary any who are not really, or hopefully religious. When perſons match themſelves to thoſe that are either profane and of no reglion, or of falſe and contrary Religions; then their wedding garment (as one ſaith) is made of Lincy wolſey, Deut. 22.11.and the wedding Ground is plowed with an Ox and an Aſſe. Such mongrel mariages brought deſtruction upon the old world, Gen. 6.2, 3. God forbids ſuch ungodly matches, Deut. Gen. 26.35. chap. 27.46.7.3, 4. Eſaus marying the daughter of the Canaanites was a great grief of minde to his father and mother, and made Rebekah weary of her life. If Moſes mary an Ethiopian he cannot change her colour or her Qualities: ſhe will be a vexation to him. Wo to Sampſon, if he mary a Philistine though he was the ſtrongeſt man. If Solomon mary Idolatrous wives they will turn away his heart after other Gods, though he was the wiſeſt man upon earth.Kings. 11.1.3, 4:
To marry unequally, as a wiſe man to a fooliſh woman; or a vertuous woman to a profane wicked man, Charron.is, as one ſaith, to binde the living to the dead; which was the cruelleſt Death invented by Tyrants, to make the living languiſh and die by the company of the dead.
2 To make God the end of our Mariage,Make God the end of mariage
1 by propounding Gods glory as the principal end of all our Mariage-comforts and enjoyments.
2 By ordering our whole Carriage in that Matrimonial ſtate, according to the rule of Gods word.
3 By depending on God for his preſence therein, and bleſſing thereon.
4 By improving mariage, to promote our ſerving of God, and the ſaving of our own ſouls:
But more of theſe in the next thing to be confidered in Mariage.