The Parable of the Pilgrim, Parable · Chapter 9
CAP. IX.
A more particular Diſcourſe of Reſolution: and of the manner how to form ſuch an one as will be ſound and firm.
LEt it be obſerved then, that the placing of this Diſcourſe concerning Reſolution at the end of my other Counſels was not without deſign; for I would give you to underſtand, that it is not of any worth if it be not uſhered in by precedent conſideration. This muſt lead the way, or elſe no ſolid purpoſes will follow after. You muſt firſt be well acquainted with your duty, before you can reſolve to contract a perpetual friendſhip with it. Do not think that this is a note too trivial and vulgar to have a place among my inſtructions; for I tell you truly, there are but too many, who when they are beſt diſpoſed, will reſolve to do they know not what: who make large promiſes of thoſe things, for the performance of which they are furniſhed with little power, leſs will, and ſcarce any knowledge at all. They will undertake a Pilgrimage to the Holy Land before they know a foot of the way, or make enquiry how far it is thither. They will levy war againſt an enemy, of whoſe numbers, ſtrength and policy they are utterly ignorant. And what wonder then is it, if they afterward let fall an enterprize that was begun raſhly, and to which they were not carried by their judgment, but hurried by their blind and precipitant paſſion. Of this ſort the man in the Goſpel ſeems to have been, who ſaid at the firſt word, that he would go whither his Father bade him, but afterward his fervour cooled, and he thought good to take his eaſe and reſt himſelf. I fancy ſuch a perſon to bear ſome reſemblance to a Child, who having offended his Father, comes and falls upon his knees for a pardon, to the grant of which the good man is already inclined. But then he ſaith, My Son, you muſt be careful hereafter of your duty in ſuch things as I ſhall require a proof of your obedience; and I muſt injoyn you ſuch a courſe of life as will keep you in my favour, and finally leave you my bleſſing. And before he can have finiſhed half a ſentence of what he hath to give him in charge, the youth takes the words out of his mouth, and replyes, Yes Sir, All ſhall be punctually done which you deſire. You ſhall never take me in any fault again, nor have cauſe to complain of my diſobedience. I am reſolved to be as obſervant of you in every thing, as any Child in the world can be. Let me but have your pardon, and doubt not of my conformity to your pleaſure. But all this while it is the pardon upon which he hath fixed his mind, and he hath ſo little regard to the conditions upon which it is to be beſtowed, that he hath not the patience to hear them particularly remembred. The joy which he conceives from the hope of his Fathers love, throws him headlong into a conſent, before he conſider the inſtances, wherein the fincerity of his heart will be tryed and brought to the teſt. Theſe may prove as croſs to his will, as to enjoy his Fathers good affection is agreeable to it: and that which was ſo haſtily reſolved, will not be ſo ſpeedily put in execution. Though he fancied that he would not ſtick at a thouſand things to pleaſe his Father; yet when he hears them named, perhaps there is not one of them that will be ſo pleaſing to himſelf, as to find him ready to performance. Such truly are the motions which many men feel in their ſouls while the treaty is managed between God and them concerning their return to him to Jeruſalem. They are very glad to hear of a truce; and their hearts leap for joy to think of returning into his favour, and ſeeing his face in that Royal City. As long as the Propoſals run in general terms, that they muſt do the will of God, and run the waies of his Commandments, they find no difficulty to accord him his deſires. They readily yield to ſubmit to his precepts, and ſay, it is pity they ſhould live who will not ſerve ſuch a Maſter. Jeruſalem is a place of ſuch glory, that while their thoughts poſt thither, they eaſily leap over all the difficulties which are in their way to it. But if you deſcend from hence to thoſe particular differences which have been between Heaven and them; if you ſtop them a while in their Carriere, to acquaint them ſeverally with every thing that will exerciſe their patience in the journey: They appear as deſirous in ſome caſes to retain their own will, as before they ſeemed forward in all to be reſigned to his; and it is manifeſt there are ſome courſes to which their hearts are more wed, than to Jeruſalem. They do not like things ſo well in the pieces, as in the lump. They do with their duty as men do with bitter Pills which they can ſwallow whole; but if they chaw them, prove ſo diſtaſtful, that they are ready to ſpit them out again. Theſe good motions indeed enjoy the name of holy purpoſes, and men think that now their hearts are fully ſet towards God; but they deſerve rather to be called Natural Propenſions, than Voluntary Purpoſes; and are to be eſteemed the Inclination of the ſoul, rather than the Reſolution. For the forming therefore of this, I muſt leave with you theſe three directions, in which I ſhall comprize the ſafeſt advice that I can think of in a buſineſs of this moment.
Firſt, You muſt know, that a good Reſolution is never founded, but upon a particular conſideration of every thing that is undertaken by you; after you have weighed them, and propoſed them to your will ſeverally, one by one. And therefore you having it in your heart to go to Jeruſalem, think ſeriouſly how many mile it is thither, and get an exact information of every ſtep of your way to it; Set down in writing every thing that is to be done, and all the events which are like to meet you in every ſtage; and then as you go along in gour meditation, aſk your heart if it diſlike no paſſage, and will not be tempted in ſome occurrences to turn aſide. Remonſtrate to it, that in ſuch a place your appetite will be tempted with Genial entertainments; and pray it to deal freely with you, and declare whether it can deny to it inordinate ſatisfaction. Tell your heart, that before you have gone many paces more, the wants of a poorer man than your ſelf will ſollicite your charity, and deſire to know if it can do good, and truſt God for the repayment of it. Repreſent to it how highly you may be provoked at the next ſtep by the inſolence of ſome unruly Traveller, and demand whether the paſſion of anger can ſuffer a bridle to be put upon it. And ſo laying before your eyes all the paths of Sobriety, Righteouſneſs, and Godlineſs, which I may hereafter mark and chalk out for you, ask your heart, What doſt thou think? What doſt thou conclude upon a ſerious view of all the way to life? Shall we conſent to take this courſe? Or ſhall we balk ſome of theſe paths? What ſay'ſt thou? Shall we be ſober in our opinions of things, in our thoughts of our ſelves, in our deſires, in our angers, in our eating and drinking (with all the reſt which you muſt enumerate)? ſhall we walk in peaceableneſs, and in patience, and in humility, and in purity? or ſhall we ſhun ſome of theſe wayes and divert into the oppoſite rode? Speak out and let me know thy mind. Which of theſe doſt thou except againſt, or muſt we equally approve of all? And never ceaſe to put theſe and ſuch like queſtions diſtinctly to your heart, till it give an expreſs conſent to every thing that preſſes for a reſolution.
2. But then Secondly, after this is done, you muſt proceed to conſider and make choice of every thing you intend to undertake with all its appendant inconveniences, and evils which come along with it: Or elſe when they ſhall come to face you, your reſolution will ſtart back in ſo unexpected an encounter. Enquire therefore into all the difficulties of every part of your way: conſider the length of the miles, the danger of theevs, the badneſs of the weather, the ſcorching heat of the Sun, the ſtorms and tempeſts which may ariſe when you croſs the ſea, the hard lodging, the coarſe diet, and all the miſchiefs which I ſhall ſhortly ſhow you do attend a way ſo little frequented as that to Jeruſalem. Say to your ſelf, Will you be abſtemious from all the pleaſures which others riot in; when, beſides the want of their mirth, you your ſelf will become the ſubject of it, and be expoſed to their ſcorn and laughter? When your meekneſs is called cowardice, can you then curb your anger? If you be reduced to a poor condition, and become the object of that charity which others have received from your hands, can you then believe and not be diſcouraged? Will you ſtill have a good opinion of your choice when you are vilified and condemned for it? Will you pretend to the ſtrictneſs of this pious courſe when it procures you nothing but mocks and flouts? Nay will you hold your way, when you are loaden with ſtripes? Will you march on with a chain about your leg, or a rope about your neck? Do not truſt your ſouls till they have made you a poſitive anſwer to theſe demands, and given you ſatisfaction; that, notwithſtanding all you may ſuffer in your credit, in your purſe, in your body and in your life, they will not alter their purpoſe of going in theſe wayes to the Holy Land, and the City of God.
3. And then in the laſt place, it will much conduce to the ſetling of a conſtant Reſolution, if you do not conclude too ſoon, but weigh all theſe things over again. Ask your ſelf the next morning, whether you ſtill continue in the ſame mind. Know of your ſoul, whether your purpoſe was not the effect of a preſent heat, and if after the cool of the night you can allow it. Bid it compare all things deliberately on both ſides, and laying them in an equal ballance, ſo incline and determine it ſelf. On that ſide there are many pleaſures which you muſt forego; and on this are many pains which you muſt indure. There is a ſoft and delicate way, and here are ſtony and cragged paths. In the other rode you may enjoy your eaſe; but in this that I ſhew you, you muſt deny your ſelf, and labour hard to be ſaved. Do not the ſcales incline to the contrary ſide? Will you ſtill be in love with this rough way which leads to Jeruſalem? What have you now at hand to counterpoiſe and to weigh down the advantages which ſeem to lye on the other ſide againſt your Reſolution? You are undone, if you are not furniſhed with a multitude of ſuch conſiderations as theſe, of the worth and weight of a ſoul, of the Glory of Jeruſalem, of the pleaſures that you ſhall ſoon taſte in theſe ragged waies; which you muſt throw into the right-hand ſcale with all the force of reaſon you have. Or in one word, you muſt compare the Beginning and the End of theſe two together, and then you will ſoon ſee the difference. There is nothing, you think, but ſweetneſs in the waies which I forbid you, till you come to the concluſion of your journey, and then what proviſion will you find made for you but gall and wormwood? As on the other ſide you may fancy, there is nothing grows but that bitter herb in the paths wherein I would conduct you; yet at the laſt however you cannot but promiſe your ſelf a Garden of pleaſure. Now, which of theſe will you make your choice; to which of them will you lean; to the preſent, or to the future good? To the preſent, no doubt, if you be a beaſt; but to the future ſure, if you be a man, and not forſaken of your reaſon. For, continue to compare the Length of theſe two; and ſee how far it is from the beginning of the pleaſures in one way, and the pains in the other, to the end of both. Is it not a very ſhort life of a few daies, which puts a period to them both? How can it be any great matter then to enjoy the one, or to endure the other? But then where theſe end, there is ſomething elſe begins, and who can tell the length of that, when the other are done and paſſed away? Now the diſparity diſcovers it ſelf. Now your thoughts will be ſwallowed up in a bottomleſs Abyſſe. For you can ſee no end of the pleaſures to which one way leads you, nor of the pains to which the other brings you. So that you may let your Soul know, that this is the ſumm of the whole buſineſs. Here are on one hand ſhort pleaſures, and long pains; and on the other, ſhort pains, and long pleaſures. Bid it chuſe now, like a rational creature, and embrace that which draws the will with greateſt force unto it. I am ſure, there is nothing can tempt it to incline to the former, but only this, that thoſe pleaſures are preſent whereas theſe that I ſpeak of are to come. Let it therefore never conſider them as meer pleaſures, but with this addition of Short and Long; and that will render the difference vaſtly great, and attract it mightily to the other hand. And if the ſcale ſeem to alter again, becauſe you are ſure of the preſent, but not of that which is to come; Here you muſt employ your Faith, to give a weight to that which is not yet in Being. It muſt make you feel how ſolid and maſſy thoſe future enjoyments are, and then your work is done. For when Faith hath made them preſent as the other are; they themſelves are ſo ponderous, that it will ſeem as leight as feathers, whatſoever it be that lyes in the ballance againſt them.
I believe you ſee by this time, that it is a matter of ſome labour, to bring your ſelf to a thorow Reſolution: but when it ſtands on theſe grounds, I do not apprehend what temptation that ſhould be, which can hope to ſhake it. There is no new thing can preſent it ſelf, but what hath been already conſidered, and for which you are provided: and therefore it will diſpair ſure (being clearly caſt, and having loſt the day) of recovering any place in your eſteem, or being of any moment hereafter with you. Its pretenſions being quite ſpoiled, and all that it hath to alledge confuted; it will be to no purpoſe again to ſollicite an heart which hath ſo ſolemnly given it a repulſe, and utterly rejected its ſuit. One thing indeed muſt not here be diſſembled; which is the great difference that appears between the ſame thing, while it remains in the ſpeculation of our mind, and when it comes forth from thence to be put in practice. The diſtance is wide, it muſt be confeſſed between thoughts and things. It is not all one to conceive and to bring forth, to diſcourſe and to paſs to execution. There is a great deal of pleaſure attends upon our conceptions; and clear reaſonings are accompanied with a wonderful delight. There we eaſily maſter deſigns; and fighting only with the Idaeas of things, they will ſuffer themſelves to be conquered by us, and taken captives at our wills. But then, after all this, we muſt come out to the other part of executing and bringing forth; and there we find a ſtronger reſiſtance. Then the faces of things are quite changed, and the Soul falls into labour, and ſuffers the throws of travel. It is not the ſame thing for a Merchant to think of a ſtorm, and to be driven with the fury of it. A tempeſt is not ſo frightful in the Port, as in the midſt of the Sea. Then it is that perhaps he repents of his Voyage, and wiſhes that he was well at home again: Or, at leaſt, he could be content to be driven thither, and there think he had done nobly in venturing ſo far as he did upon the treacherous Ocean. And ſo truly, I cannot tell you how great the difference may be which you will find between your ſelf hereafter when you come to do theſe things, and your ſelf now when you are deliberating of them. We are now in a place of reſt and peace; we ſpeak of things abſent, and diſcourſe of objects afar off: when you and your enemies come to be upon the ſame ſpot, when you are engag'd to do what you have in deſign, then you may not be the ſame man, nor find things in the ſame poſture: But that may revolt and oppoſe you in the operation, which was compliant to you in thought, or did not ſo much reſiſt you in meditation. Then you will find that you muſt wraſtle ſtoutly with the difficulties that make head againſt you, and that they will put you to a greater proof of your valour and conſtancy than you might imagine. Then your caſe will be very bad if you feel your ſelf more unwilling to proceed, than now you are: if you muſt be combating your own will, when you ſhould ſet upon your enemies; if you muſt then be deliberating, when you ſhould be doing; and prevailing over your ſelf, when you ſhould carry the victory over your oppoſers. And if you ſhould prove like our Hypocrits, who think it is enough to reſolve ſtoutly, and to make reſiſtance, your affairs will ſtill be in a worſe condition: For then you will fairly go back, and ſit down to comfort your ſelf with ſuch thoughts as theſe; That you have gone far enough in undertaking a buſineſs of ſuch difficulty, though you never effect it; and that it is an atchievement glorious enough for this world, to ſet your ſelf againſt enemies ſo mighty, though they get the better of you. Thus flatterers have ſometimes praiſed a Princes valour, for having once put his horſe into a rage; and extolled his courage for ſigning a Treaty of Peace with a great deal of regret.
That you may be conſtant therefore and powerful in your Reſolution; that not you, but your enemies may yield and leave you the victory; let me earneſtly beſeech you to repreſent all things which you now undertake both as truly and naturally; and as lively and ſtrongly as it is poſſible to your ſoul. Think that you are now iſſuing forth into the field of action. That at this moment you are in the agonies which you muſt expect. That juſt now when you are deliberating of theſe things, you feel all the contradiction and reſiſtance that will be made. And for the better ſecurity of your Reſolution, it will be uſeful, if not neceſſary, to renew it every morning; and to go out of your Chamber armed as a man that waits for his enemies. Vow your heart again unto God as ſoon as you open your eyes. Make a ſolemn proteſtation before him, that you mean to continue his faithful ſervant, and for no reaſon in the world to be falſe to your undertaking. Reproach to your ſelf the baſeneſs and cowardice of which you have been at any time guilty; and ſwear to him over and over again your conſtant fidelity. Say with a great courage, I do here in the preſence of God, and of my Saviour, and of all the heavenly Hoſt devote all the forces of my ſoul to execute his pleaſure. I renounce the world; I vow a Pilgrimage to Jeruſalem; I will wade thorow all difficulties; I will refuſe no labours; I will beg my bread ſo I may come ſafely thither. This I avow to be my mind; this I confirm and ratifie again without any reſervations, clauſes or exceptions. I will never unſay it, nor revoke it. I will never repent of this promiſe, or of any part of it. So help me, O my God. And here it will be ſeaſonable to make your humble ſuit unto him, that he wil… … pleaſed to fortifie your Reſolution too, and … to aid you by the grace of his Holy Spirit. Repreſent to him that you are a poor Pilgrim, who have undertaken a long journey for his ſake, and forſaken all for no other end, but only to ſee him at Jeruſalem. And therefore tell him you hope he will not ſuffer your deſign to miſcarry; but that he will make you as valiant in your actions, as through his goodneſs you are already in mind and heart: and that as you have choſen this way, ſo he will uphold your goings in his paths, that your footſteps ſlip not. Shew him all your weakneſſes, and how fearful you are of your ſelf. Tell him you are ſenſible the doing of his will, is much different from knowing and purpoſing to do it. And therefore pray that he will leſſen the difference, or take it quite away by his mighty power joyned to you, that you may with as much certainty, if not with as much eaſe, do and effect, as you have projected and reſolved. In ſhort, offer up your will to him all broken and contrite, that he may put it into what form and poſture he pleaſes. Shew him an heart that quits all intereſt in it ſelf, and that would be only led and conducted by him. Let him ſee you ſtanding quite out of your own will; purely indifferent to all things, but only the doing of his. Let him know that you mean never to call it back, or to reſume it into your hands any more, though you might poſſeſs it of all the world thereby. And then ſure he cannot abandon you, nor ſuffer any thing elſe to make a prey of that which is thus affectionately addreſſed unto him. It is not poſſible that he ſhould refuſe the offering you make him, nor can he throw away a heart which puts it ſelf thus humbly and ſincerely into his hands; for now it is in the place where he would have it, and it doth but anſwer the ſummons of ſurrender which he ſent it. He doth not deſire any thing more, than that you would thus reſign and make over your ſelf to him, willing neither one thing nor other but only this, that he would let you know what choice to make for your ſelf: Then you cannot be long ignorant of your duty, nor impotent neither; for your Will being overcome, you will ſoon overmaſter all other difficulties, either of knowing or doing the will of God.