The Parable of the Pilgrim, Parable · Chapter 2
CAP. II.
The earneſt deſire of the Pilgrim to be at Jeruſalem: and what he expected to find there.
MUch time he ſpent in conſultation with himſelf about the courſe which would be beſt to hold in his travel thither. There was no coſt ſpared, no ſtudy omitted to get acquaintance with the neareſt way to it, nor did he ceaſe to inquire of thoſe who were reputed the moſt ſkilfull guides, that he might obtain a true information of every paſſage in the journey, which he ſeriouſly reſolved to undertake. For though the weather was cold, the wayes dirty and dangerous, and the journy he was told would be long, and company little or none could be expected to deceive the tediouſneſs of the Pilgrimage; yet ſo great were the ardors which he felt within himſelf, that he regarded none of theſe diſcouragements, but only wiſhed that he might be ſo happy, as to find the right way though he went alone thither. And that which made his deſires the more forward was, that he had often heard Jeruſalem by interpretation was no meaner place than the VISION OF PEACE. A ſight that he had been long purſuing in ſeveral forms and ſhapes wherein it had often ſeemed to preſent it ſelf before him, but could never court it into his embraces. O my beloved (would he often ſigh within himſelf) O my hearts deſire! O thou joy of the whole earth! in what corner of it doſt thou hide thy ſelf and lyeſt concealed from our eyes? Where art thou to be found O heavenly good? Who will bring me to the clear viſion of thy face? Art thou company only for the Coeleſtial ſpirits? Art thou ſo reſerved for the Angels food, that we poor mortals may not preſume to ask a taſt of thy ſweetneſs? What would not I part withal to purchaſe a ſmall acquaintance with thee, and to know the place where thou makeſt thine abode? Many a weary ſtep have I taken in a vain chaſe of thy ſociety. The hours are not to be numbred which I have ſpent in wiſhing and labouring to lay hold on thee, and ſtill thou flyeſt away from me. After all the ſweat wherein I have bathed my ſelf I can find nothing, but only that thou art not here to be found. Thou art retired it ſeems from this poor world, and haſt left us only a ſhaddow of thee; for when we think to claſp thee hard in our arms, the whole force and weight of our ſouls doth fall upon Nothing. O my heart, what ails thee? what torments are theſe which ſo ſuddenly ſeize upon thee? Ah cruel pains, the remembrance of which prepares a new rack for me! The arm of a Gyant would not ake more, if with all his might he ſhould ſtrike a feather, then my heart now doth but to think of the anguiſh it endured when all the ſtrength and violence of its deſires were met with emptineſs and vanity. O Jeruſalem, Jeruſalem, the only place that can eaſe us of this miſery! the place where the beloved of my ſoul dwelleth, the viſion of peace, the ſeat of true tranquillity and repoſe, how fain would I have the ſatisfaction of being in the ſure way to thy felicity! This is all the peace I wiſh for in the world. No other happineſs do I thirſt after, as every thing can teſtifie that hath been privy to my thoughts. There is never a room in my houſe but hath been filled with the noiſe of my ſighs and groans after thee, O Jeruſalem. Every tree that grows in my ground hath thy ſweet Name ingraven upon it. The birds of the air, if they can underſtand, are witneſſes how inceſſantly my ſoul pants and longs to fly unto thee, O Jeruſalem. What charitable hand will guide me in the way to thy pleaſures? who will bring me into that ſtrong City; the retreat of my wearied mind, the refuge to recruit my tired ſpirits, the only place of my ſecurity, my joy, my life it ſelf? Wilt not thou O God, who haſt lead me to the knowledge of it, who haſt filled me with theſe deſires, and haſt brought me into a diſeſteem and contempt of all other things? O let not theſe deſires prove the greateſt torment of all unto me, for want of their ſatisfaction. O forſake not this ſoul, that hath forſaken all other delights, and taken its leave of every other comfort, that it may go and ſeek for thee at Jeruſalem.