A Book for Beginners, Chapter 10 – Chapter 11
CHAP. X. Directions in caſe of frequent Relapſes into Sin.
BUT ſuppoſe a man frequently relapſe into thoſe Sins which he conſtantly reſolves againſt, and ſolemnly promiſes to forſake; what ſhall he doe in that caſe?
To this I anſwer; I. That as it is his duty to judge and condemn himſelf ſeverely for it: ſo I think this ought to be a part of the Sentence he pronounces againſt himſelf, to judge himſelf unworthy to partake of the Holy Communion. For ſo the Church would judge, if it knew what he was, and did exerciſe its diſcipline upon ſuch Offenders.
II. And therefore, looking upon himſelf to be as vile as a Dog that returns to his Vomit, let him accordingly refrain from the Table of the Lord; till he be ſufficiently humbled, and ſo ſenſible of his Sin, and of his Danger, as to grow more carefull, and better reſolved.
III. Which it is to be hoped he will be, if he for this reaſon, and no other, forbear to approach thither; becauſe he looks upon himſelf as too vile to enjoy ſuch a privilege: not ſtaying away out of careleſneſs, and lothneſs to take pains with himſelf, much leſs deſpair of God's Mercy; but merely out of a ſenſe of his Undeſervings, and by way of deep Humiliation, and to puniſh himſelf, for making no better uſe of his Saviour's Love and Kindneſs to him.
IV. If this will not doe, he muſt adde ſome extraordinary means of afflicting his Soul, as the Scripture ſpeaks; by judging himſelf unworthy to eat or drink, or enjoy any of the good things of this World: and accordingly caſting down himſelf upon the Earth before God, with faſting, weeping, and mourning; bewailing and lamenting his ſad condition, as we are wont to do a Friend, when we fear he is a-dying, or in great danger of it.
V. And if ſtill he find he is not ſafe, he muſt after all adviſe with ſome diſcreet Miniſter of God's Word, as with a Spiritual Phyſician; deſiring to know what courſe to take, that he may get the maſtery of thoſe unruly Luſts which are too hard for him.
VI. And when he comes for this ghoſtly Counſel and Advice, let him not be aſhamed plainly to confeſs his Sins, and to open the whole ſtate of his Soul before him whom he conſults: relating how, and by what means, he comes to be thus intangled in the Snare of the Devil, that he cannot get out of it.
VII. Be ſure you conquer the lothneſs you will find in your ſelf to make this Diſcovery, for fear it diſgrace you in his opinion. And convince your ſelf, that you ought the rather to confeſs your Sins ingenuouſly, that you may take ſhame to your ſelf, and lay your ſelf low in the preſence of God and his Miniſter.
Doe it as a part of your Humiliation.
VIII. Whereby he will be able to judge what Remedies are moſt proper for your Cure, when he knows the cauſe and the root of your Diſeaſe. When you deal ſincerely with him, he will be able to tell you of what nature and degree your Sin is, and whence it proceeds: whether it be from Idleneſs, or Ill company, or Careleſneſs in your Devotion, or Neglect of ſerious thoughts to quicken your belief, to call to remembrance your Obligations, and to put your ſelf in mind of the great Account you muſt give; or from too much Confidence of your ſelf, want of Fear and Caution, not watching over your eyes, or the door of your lips, and abundance of other ſuch like things; which he may obſerve, and accordingly give you his Directions.
IX. And be ſure you ſubmit to his Preſcriptions, and be very carefull to follow them: for this is the laſt Remedy, which you ought to uſe with thankfulneſs to God for it, and with fear and trembling leſt you ſhould not be the better by it.
Suppoſe a man had the Falling-ſickneſs, what would he not give, or doe, or ſuffer, to be freed from it, rather then be in continual danger of falling into the fire , or water, or other miſchief? Make this your own caſe: for your frequent falling into Sin, notwithſtanding your reſolutions and ingagements, is far more dreadfull and dangerous: and no means ought to be refuſed for a cure of ſo great an evil.
CHAP. XI. The Duties of Children.
THIS Book being intended for Beginners, and ſuch as may be ſuppoſed to have leaſt knowledge of their Duty; I ſhall conclude it with a few Advices to Children, to poor Servants, and to all ſorts of Young people.
The Duty of Children is comprehended in two words, to honour, and to obey their Parents. Therefore remember,
I. Firſt, It is your Duty to Honour your Parents; which is the firſt of all the Commandments of the Second Table: And conſiſts,
1. In an Eſteem of them as your Superiours and greateſt Benefactours; becauſe, under God, they were the Authours of your Being, and took care of your Education, when you could not look after your ſelves.
2. In a reverent Behaviour towards them, even when they do not perform their Duty; but provoke you to wrath, by their peeviſh croſneſs.
3. In requiting their Love, by ſupplying their neceſſities; if they fall into a low condition, and you be able to ſupport them. Reade I Tim. V. 4. XV. Matt. 5, 6.
4. In bearing with their Infirmities, either of body or mind; eſpecially in their old age, or declining years.
II. Secondly, Obey your Parents, (VI. Epheſ. 1.) ſo as to be ſubject to them, II. Luk. 51. That is,
1. Be ſubject to their good Inſtructions and Admonitions; to which you ought to liſten diligently.
2. To their Commands; when they bid you doe any thing that is not contrary to the Divine Commandments.
3. To their Corrections alſo for your faults; to which you ought reverently to ſubmit. XII. Hebr. 9.
4. And to their Directions alſo about the choice of your Calling; if you have not a natural averſation to it.
5. But eſpecially in the buiſineſs of Marriage; in which Parents have always had a right to diſpoſe of their Children. Not indeed to force them to marry one whom they cannot love; but to oblige them to endeavour to love thoſe whom they recommend to their choice.
And when you cannot bring your ſelf to a compliance with their deſires in that point; you muſt with due reverence and reſpect: diſſent from them, and humbly beſeech them to preſs you no farther.
If they will not harken to your repeated requeſts, you are not bound (or rather, you are bound not) to follow their directions in ſuch a caſe. But, on the other ſide, do not marry any body elſe, without their conſent: unleſs they be ſo unreaſonable, that they will let you marry none at all; and you find a neceſſity of it, to prevent your being led away, contrary to your Vow in Baptiſm, by fleſhly Luſts.
In that caſe repair to the Magiſtrate or your Miniſter, (who are common Parents,) and let them deal with them: and if they cannot prevail, I have no more to ſay about your Obedience in this particular; uſe your liberty prudently, and with good advice of Friends, and due reſpect to your Parents.
But (as the Common-Prayer-Book exhorts you in the Office of Matrimony) do not enterpriſe nor take in hand ſuch a weighty thing as Marriage, unadviſedly, lightly, or wantonly, meerly to ſatisfy carnal luſts and appetites; (like brute Beaſts that have no underſtanding;) but reverently, diſcreetly, adviſedly, and in the fear of God, duly conſidering for what ends it was ordained: and then you cannot doe amiſs.
Be carefull in the performance of theſe Duties; and God (before whom ſuch things are good and acceptable) will give you his Bleſſing. Reade III. Eccleſiaſticus, beginning, unto v. 17.