Advice to a Friend, Part 8
VIII.
AND here I cannot but commend to you frequent Meditation and ſerious conſideration (which you might expect to have heard of before) as of ſingular uſe, for the continuance either of your diligence, or of thoſe delectable affections in it. For the Soul is a thing ſo entire in it ſelf, that if one part be ſtrongly moved, the other will be ſo too: juſt as when the Nave of a Wheel turns round, it makes the outermoſt circumference to circle about with it. Much is ſaid by many on this ſubject; and therefore I ſhall only direct you how to Meditate, when you are dull, and unfit, as you imagine, for any thoughts.
When we diſcourſe (you know) with a Servant, and deſire to affect him with what we ſay; if he be ſtupid and heavy, and ſeems not at all to be concerned in our words, then we are wont to make uſe of interrogations, beſeechings, objurgations, exclamations, corrections of our ſelves, admirations, and ſuch like ways, to rouſe his apprehenſion. For we find that if an object touches any of our ſenſes gently and ſoftly, we mind it not while we are intent upon other matters; but if it ſtrikes us with ſome ſmartneſs, and comes with a vehemency and importunity, it alarmes the whole Soul, and makes it not only hear but demand what's the matter. And thus it is in our diſcourſes, if they barely preſent themſelves before Mens Souls, that are otherwiſe ingaged, they regard them not; unleſs by ſome ſuch form of ſpeech, as I have mentioned, they put on ſome ſharpneſs, and be armed with ſome Authority. If we ſpeak, for example, to one that hath committed a fault, in ſuch terms as theſe; Indeed you are very much to blame; You ought not to have done thus; it is contrary both to God and to your ſelf; the World will cry ſhame of you; no body will endure you; &c. He ſtands perhaps as if he were marble, and had been compoſed of inſenſible materials. But if we ſay, what did you mean, when you did ſuch or ſuch an action? Whither were your wits and your conſcience gone? Could you do thus, and not tremble at Gods diſpleaſure? Nay, anſwer me, do you think that God is an Idol, who regards you not, and cannot ſtrike? Oh, that any Man ſhould be ſo ſottiſh; that he ſhould be ſuch an ill Friend to himſelf! Ill Friend, did I ſay? ſuch a deſperate Enemy, I meant, ſuch a fury, ſuch a Devil to his own Soul, &c. This kind of language, it is likely, may make him ſeem a Man; one that is made of fleſh, and not of ſtone.
In ſuch like manner then may you learn to Meditate alone; by diſcourſing with your own Soul after the way of expoſtulation, chiding, reprehenſion, and ſuch like: wherein there is great variety; and therefore great eaſineſs, and no leſs pleaſure. It was a more awakening expreſſion, for David to ſay, Why art thou caſt down, O my Soul? and why art thou diſquieted within me? (XLII. Pſal. 5) than if he had only ſaid, I do not do well to be dejected on this faſhion; it is to no purpoſe to afflict and trouble my ſelf; far better and more ſeemly were it for me to reſt contented. And the repetition of this again (V. 11. and XLIII. 5) gives it a greater force, and adds a ſharper edge to it, than if it had been but a ſingle queſtion. And ſo likewiſe doth it more pierce a ſinners heart to hear God ſay, as you read in the Prophets; Why will you dye? Wilt thou not be made clean? When ſhall it once be? Shall I not viſit for theſe things? ſaith the Lord: Shall not my Soul be avenged on ſuch a Nation as this? than barely to tell him, that there is no reaſon a Man ſhould deſtroy himſelf, and that He is very deſirous of his good, and that it is high time alſo a ſinner ſhould amend, and if he will not, that He cannot ſuffer it, but will certainly puniſh ſuch continued contempt of his forbearance. And therefore you need not doubt but your Soul will ſooner open to you, at ſuch knocks as theſe, and more ſpeedily bring forth its conceptions and paſſions by the Midwifry (as I may call it) of ſuch like queſtions and arguings with your ſelf; than by any other way whereby you endeavour to help its delivery.
Let me preſent you with an example of ſuch a diſcourſe, ſutable to the drift and deſign of this Treatiſe. O my Soul (may you or I ſay) are we now to learn that there is a God? Doſt thou know nothing but what thine Eyes ſee, and thy Hands feel, and thy Pallate taſteth? Strange! that thou ſhouldſt ſo forget to look into thy ſelf! And muſt I be ever demonſtrating to thee, that thou art not of this earth, but a parcel of another World? What? Doſt thou not call God thy Father? Is it not him thou ſeekeſt? With him wouldſt thou not live for ever? Say, wouldſt thou not? Is not this thy earneſt deſire? Speak, and tell me if thou art not of this mind. Need I uſe ſo many words to extort from thee this confeſſion? O how dull art thou, if thou doſt not yet underſtand the difference between his favour, and all the Kingdomes of this Earth! And is it poſſible thy memory ſhould be ſo perfidious, as to have no remaining ſenſe of the incomparable happineſs, thou haſt ſometime ſeen, he is preparing for thee? Where haſt thou been? What haſt thou been doing? What is become of all thoſe holy thoughts, and of that bleſſed Hope of immortal life, which was ſo lately the joy of thy heart? Is that happineſs grown leſs? or is it leſs certain than it was, that thou art grown ſo cold, ſo liſtleſs and indifferent? Let me hear thee ſpeak what thou thinkeſt of it. Is it true, or is it not? Do we Dream, or is it a certain Report which comes to our Eares, when Jeſus tells us he will give Eternal Life to them that obey him? What anſwer doſt thou return? Would a man take all the World in exchange, for his Portion in ſuch a bliſs? Shall our preſent ſatisfaction here be dearer to us, than our future repoſe and fulneſs of joy in the preſence of the Lord? What did I ſay? Satisfaction? Alas! how far are we all from that? The eye is not ſatisfied with ſeeing, nor the Ear filled with hearing. Who hath bewitched thee then, to think of ſeeking thy happineſs here? Is there ſo much as room for thy choice, whom thou wilt love, and to whom thou wilt cleave, as thy chiefeſt good? Doth not neceſſity carry thee to God, and to the eternal World, if thou meaneſt to have ſatisfaction? O how glad am I to find that there is thy heart! What a pleaſure is it to love thy God, and to hope thou art beloved of him? Doſt thou not hold every thing for thy enemy, which would rob thee of ſuch a Pleaſure?
But alas! how long ſhall I find thee full of theſe apprehenſions? Canſt thou aſſure me how many days this ſenſe will abide with thee? O how ſuddenly may I feel thee altered, and become a ſenſleſs thing! How treacherous waſt thou lately; how falſe to thy own reſolutions? Would one think thee a rational being, when thou ſo forgatteſt thy greateſt intereſt? Was it thou who then didſt govern me; or ſome brutiſh ſoul that came for a time and officiated in thy ſtead? How often haſt thou told me of a World of Enemies that watch for our ruine! and yet how negligent and ſupine art thou, as if we had none? Need I remember thee how long ago it is, ſince thou didſt yield, and ſubmit thy ſelf to the weakeſt of them? Thou knoweſt very well, that on ſuch a day thou wert very angry; but canſt thou tell me for what? On another day (would I could ſay but one day) thou waſt lazy; Were thine Enemies then all aſleep? At another time a ſlight occaſion made thee omit a good duty; O at what a ſmall rate art thou willing to part with thy peace? Can one truſt any more ſuch a ſilly and fickle thing as thou art? Can one rely on any of thy promiſes? How wilt thou be able to hold out in ſuch a long conteſt, as we are engaged to maintain? how wilt thou be patient to the end? Such a dull and lazy Soul as thou art, ſo timorous, ſo inconſtant, ſo eaſily abuſed, ſo ſoon puſht down with every occurrence; what hopes can one have of it? —
By this vehement inveighing againſt your ſelf, it is poſſible your Heart may be much awakened, even in its moſt liſtleſs moods, to ſome generous reſolution: and it may anſwer it ſelf after this ſort.
Sad things are here objected againſt me, or if that be too mild a word, why did not I ſay inſufferable things? Much ſloth, idleneſs, impatience (I wiſh thou couldſt tell me all) I am accuſed of; and alas! my preſent dulneſs aſſures me it is too true. O that I could deny it, without any fear of a terrible rebuke! But muſt I therefore be ſo caſt down, as to be diſcouraged? Can he that hath done ill, never be ſo happy as to be able to do well again? May I not hope ſo much, as that I may be chidden into better behaviour? Where is the doom paſſed that I ſhall never amend? Show me that it is impoſſible, or elſe I will not deſpair of it. True it is I need a great deal of patience; but where ſhould I begin to practiſe it, but upon my ſelf? Is it not fit to attend and wait till I can grow better? Many enemies indeed I have; but ſhall I become an enemy to my ſelf alſo? and ſhall I imagine, that I have no Friend? I have been inconſtant, and peeviſh, and diſcontented, and a lover of the World, &c. But muſt I therefore be always ſo? No; Therefore I will not be ſo always. It is confeſſed, my indeavours have been careleſs and lazy: What ſhould I do therefore, but be more vigilant and induſtrious? I have faln ſometimes; but is it wiſdome therefore to lye ſtill? Do you call this good reaſoning? Is there any ſenſe in ſuch a concluſion? Rather I will take more heed to my ſelf, and walk with greater care. What though I have given back in ſome aſſaults? May not a Man recover his courage, and behave himſelf more valiantly? O the folly of humane Nature! that we ſhould undo our ſelves at every turn; firſt by doing amiſs, and then by deſpairing to do otherwiſe! Bleſs the Lord, O my Soul, that we are aware of this dangerous miſtake. And let us not deſpond, though we have no reaſon to boaſt, and glory in our reſolution.
Was not this the condition of other of the Saints, long before I was born? Am I the only example of an heavy and ſluggiſh Soul? Muſt I be recorded the firſt in the Catalogue for inconſtancy? What helps and aſſiſtances then had they, to reſtore themſelves and to preſerve them to the end, which are ſtrangers to our eares? Muſt I diſpatch a meſſage to ſome Forreign Country for their Recipe's, as we ſend for Drugs and Spices? Cannot we tell without the charge of going to Hippo, what Holy Auſtine ſtrengthned himſelf withall? Muſt we take a Pilgrimage to Rome to learn St. Hierome's Medicines? Sure, my Soul, thou haſt the ſame gracious Saviour, the ſame compaſſionate High-Prieſt, the ſame cordial promiſes, the very ſame hope of the Goſpel, which revived and ſupported their hearts; or if thou haſt not, ſpeak, that I may go and ſeek them. Look then on thy bleſſed Saviour, look on his holy Apoſtles, nay, look upon all thoſe excellent Perſons in the Church that have ſucceeded them; Shall we not follow ſuch glorious Leaders? Are their Examples impoſſible to be imitated? If they be, they are not examples. How can we be cold, when we think of the flames of their love? How can we be lazy and unwilling to do, when we ſee how forward, how vehemently deſirous they were to ſuffer? What ſhould hinder us from going on, when we have ſuch a Multitude of Triumphant Souls before our eyes, whom nothing could drive back? Shall pleaſures, ſhall the incumbrance of buſineſs, ſhall Relations and Friends, yea, ſhall dangers, ſhall Death? No; I am not inchanted, I am not affrighted with theſe words. Be gone you falſe and deceitful pleaſures. How dare you perplex me, you impertinent imployments? No more of your importunity, I charge you, if you will be my Friends. Welcome contempt, welcome reproach, welcome poverty, or any other thing, which will certainly bring me nearer to my God.
But what is it that gives you this ſuddain confidence? How come you of a coward, to grow thus couragious? Of a Snail, who made you thus to mount up in your thoughts like an Eagle? Who will believe that thou wilt do ſuch things? I will believe it (may you anſwer again to your ſelf) whatſoever can be objected againſt it. Why are theſe called ſuddain thoughts, which are my moſt deliberate reſolutions? Through the Lord I ſhall do valiantly: He it is that ſhall tread down mine enemies under me.—
The like diſcourſe you may have with your ſelf about God, or any other ſubject. You may conſider not only that he is gracious, and merciful, but cry out, O how great, how great is his goodneſs! Is there any thing thou canſt name comparable to his loving-kindneſs? What makes thee then ſo unwilling to go to him? What's the cauſe of ſuch a diffidence and unbelief, as hath deadned and diſpirited thine heart? Could I think that any thing would make thee fall into this ſtupidity? Didſt thou not once look upon him as the firſt Beauty, as the joy, the health and the life of our Souls? Who is it that is altered and hath ſuffered a change? He or thou? Is he not the ſame to day, yeſterday, and for ever? Why ſhouldeſt not thou be the ſame too? Or, why ſhouldſt thou not think that he will make thee the ſame again? How many times is it repeated in the Book of God, that his mercy endureth for ever? For whom was it but ſuch trembling Souls as thou, that he proclaims himſelf ſo often, to be abundant in mercy, goodneſs and truth? But muſt we not then believe it? Is this the way to obtain his mercy, by diſtruſting of him? What a prepoſterous courſe is this? How unſeemly, nay, how unkind is it to queſtion theſe gracious declarations of his love? Let us be confidently perſwaded he hath a greater deſire than we, that we ſhould be true and faithful to him. Let us reſt our thoughts in this concluſion that neither death nor life, nor Angels, nor Principalities, nor Powers, nor things preſent, nor things to come, nor heighth, nor depth, nor any other Creature, ſhall be able to ſeparate us from the love of God, which is in Chriſt Jeſus our Lord.
Now when you find any benefit by ſuch expoſtulations and reaſonings with your ſelf, & hope it would do you ſome good, if you ſhould uſe the like in an humble addreſs to God; you may be furniſhed with ſeveral ſtrains of devout Admiration, and Pathetical Appeals to his all-ſeeing Majeſty out of the Holy Scriptures. There are Examples alſo of the other; but expoſtulations with God are not to be imitated without much caution and holy fear, and ought not to be commonly uſed. It may be ſufficient to conclude the foregoing Meditations, with ſome ſuch form of words as this.
A PRAYER.
O Lord our Lord, how excellent is thy Name in all the Earth? who haſt ſet thy glory above the Heavens. When I conſider thy Heavens, the work of thy Fingers, the Moon and the Stars which thou haſt ordained; What is miſerable man that thou art mindful of him, and the Son of man that thou viſiteſt him? For thou haſt made him a little lower than the Angels, and haſt crowned him with Glory and Honour. Lord! what honour is that which thou haſt conferred on him? in ſetting him now in the Perſon of Jeſus, above the Angels themſelves? For to which of the Angels didſt thou ſay at any time, Thou art my Son, this day have I begotten thee? And, again; Let all the Angels of God worſhip him? Who in the Heaven can be compared unto the Lord? Who among the mighty can be likened unto the Lord? And therefore whom have I in Heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I deſire beſides thee. O God, thou art my God, early will I ſeek thee. My Soul thirſteth for Thee, and longeth after Thee. O when wilt thou come unto me? There be many that ſay, Who will ſhew us any good? Lord, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon me. Show me thy ſelf, and it ſufficeth. Lord, what wait I for? Truly, my hope is in Thee. My Soul, wait thou only upon God, for my expectation is from him. By thee, O Lord, have I been holden up from the Womb; thou art he that took me out of my Mothers bowels. My Praiſe ſhall be continually of Thee.
But who can utter the mighty acts of the Lord? Who can ſhew forth all his praiſe? Many, O Lord my God, are thy wonderful works which thou haſt done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto Thee: if I would declare and ſpeak of them, they are more than can be numbred. O how great is thy goodneſs, which thou haſt laid up for them that fear Thee; which thou haſt wrought for them that truſt in Thee before the Sons of men? What ſhall I render unto the Lord, for all his benefits towards me? I will delight my ſelf in thy Commandments which I have loved. My Hands alſo will I lift up to thy Commandments which I have loved: and I will meditate in thy Statutes.
O how I love thy Law! it ſhall be my Meditation every day. How ſweet are thy words unto my taſte! yea, ſweeter than Honey to my mouth. Through thy Precepts I get underſtanding: therefore I hate every falſe way. Do I not hate them, O Lord, that hate thee? and am I not grieved with thoſe that riſe up againſt thee? I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts. And ſee if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlaſting.
Teach me thy way, O Lord, I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy Name. So will I praiſe thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart: and I will glorifie thy Name for evermore.
Amen.