The Tales and Jests of Hugh Peters, Illustration – Table of contents
HUGH PETERS:
THE Tales and Jests Of Mr. HUGH PETERS, Collected into one Volume.
Published by one that hath formerly been conversant with the Author in his life time.
And dedicated to Mr. JOHN GOODWIN, and Mr. PHILLIP NYE.
Together with his Sentence, and the manner of his Execution.
LONDON. Printed for S. D. and are to be sold by most of the Book-sellers in London. 1660.
To The Reverend, his Dearly beloved Brethren, Mr. John Good…in. Mr. Phillip Nye.
Brethren,
I Should doe you and the Author an unexampled injury, should I detain this Dedication from you, since necessity on the one side, and equity on the other compels me to it: Necessity, in regard no other persons will patronize him; and equity, because you have been co-partners with him in all his misdemeanors; so that you are by most well-Principled men term'd, A Trinity of Traytors; but our author minding the Publike good, hath thus inrolled his name in the Catalogue of Wits, and desires to wipe off all the obloquy people have cast upon him, by leaving these Remains to after-ages, that those which make him the subject of their discourses, may by remembring his Jeasts forget his Crimes; he hath long enough been covered with the Knaves-Coat, and therefore now puts on the Fools; for that as Mr. Nedham saith, Is the only way to preferment, and a Ladies Chamber: and without controversie, the Levite may laugh, or cause laughter, as well as the Layman. Semel in anno ridet Apollo. The God of Wisdome may frollick it sometimes, why then may not he unbend himself with moderate mirth? Non seria semper: he that with Heraclitus whines away his time, I judge more culpable, then he that with Democritus shakes it away with laughter. I have long time known this second Scoggin, and have been an often hearer of him, and I finding his Discourses so much of Wit and Mirth, could not but rake these embers together. There are amongst them several Pulpit-flashes, for indeed they are collected out of many of his Sermons, by the pen of a ready writer; they are the Cream of his Applicatory part: and since his Homilies would be too voluminous, and probably impertinent. I have made this Publication, that his Memory may survive his ashes, and you likewise to whom it is Dedicated have a share in his Immortality. And beleeve me, let the World say what it will, Archee was a fool to him, as appears by his fulfilling the Proverb, Fortune favours Fools: for he got a good Estate; & so did our Author too, You'l say: but Fortune playes the Strumpet, He got it like a Fool, and must loose it like a Fool: Icannot forget that Lesson he said the Heathen taught him, and indeed it concerns you all:
— Non Lex est justior ulla,
Quam veris Artifices arte perire sua.
But you must know, A Fools Bolt is soon shot, and it is no matter what they say, that matter not what they say, I am sure no Heathen could exceed him, for a Heathen in teaching him taught a man, but he would preach to Horses, Even till they broke their Halters; and tell me which is the hardest task, for a Heathen to make him cry, or he to make a Dog laugh. I remember he was once in Company with some Ladies, and was extreme bashful; whereupon a Gentleman reproved him in this wise, Fool, at 'em; and ever since sprung up that Proverbial word, Fool a-tum. This being all, Dear Brethren, I remain,
Yours in the Lord (would I could say) Protector. S.D.
THE Contents of the Tales and Jests of Mr. Hugh Peters.
1 How Mr. Peters being belated on a journey, lodged at a Millers house, and what passed between him and the miller.
2 How a notable Parson put a jest upon Mr. Peters and Mr. T. when he was examined by them.
3 How Mr. Peters broke a jest upon a Lady.
4 How Mr. Peters reproved Oliver Cromwel for sleeping in the Church whilst he was preaching.
5 How Mr. Peters divided his Text at St. Albans.
6 How Mr. Peters and his Neighbour discoursed on the wind.
7 How M. Peters inveigh'd against the pride of the English Nation.
8 How Mr. Peters jested on his Horse.
9 How M. Peters examined a Country lad, and the jests that hapned at that time.
10 How Mr. Peters and several Justices of the Peace sat two days about the brewing of small Beer.
11 How Mr. Peters adviseth a Traveller to be accomplisht.
12 How Mr. Peters served the Parson of a hot constitution.
13 How M. Peters gave his opinion concerning Christendom.
14 How Mr. Peters rode through the Strand.
15 How Mr. Peters wrote a Letter from Tredagh in Ireland.
16 How Mr. Peters described a Whore.
17 How Mr. Peters lighted the blind Harper.
18 How Mr. Peters told a Tale of a man, a fish, and a bird.
19 How Mr. Peters cheapned a Close-stole.
20 How Mr. Peters jeer'd a Justice.
21 How Mr. Peters cloath'd Christ in a buffcoat.
22 How Mr. Peters opened heavens gate to a Committee-man.
23 How Mr. Peters told a tale of his Friend.
24 How Mr. Peters described a Citizen.
25 How M. Peters shewed one the way to Tame.
26 How M. Pet. discoursed with a Tradesman.
27 How M. Pet. reproved a young Schollar.
28 How M. Pet made an ass of a Gentleman.
29 How Mr. Peters saved his license.
30 Hovv Mr. Peters gave his judgment of a Chollerick Gentleman.
31 How M. P. extoll'd the Army under Oliv.
32 How M. P. visited the Earl of Pembrook.
33 How M. Pet. wished his auditory to beware of 3 W's.
34 How M. Peters called his hearers fools.
35 How M. P. took an affront on the Exchange.
36 How M. Pet. said where his Majesty was.
37 How M. Peters inveigh'd against Citizens wives.
38 How Mr. Pet. jeared a rich man and his fat Wife.
39 How M. Pet. said he had been in heaven.
40 How M. Pet. answered Oliver Cromwel.
41 How Mr. Peters jested at his friends hurt.
42 How M. Pet. defaced a shoulder of mutton.
43 How Mr. Peters mistook in reaching to the top of the Pulpit.
44 How Mr. P. advanced the cause of Oliver.
45 How M. Peters went to heaven and hell.
46 How M. Peters shared with the State.
47 How m. Peters was serv'd by the Butchers Wife.
48 How M.P. prayed against the Kings Arms.
49 How Mr. Pet. discoursed against Organs.
50 How Mr. P. preached 3 hours on a fast day.
51 How mr. P. said, the word of God had a free passage.
52 How mr. Peters bought cloath by the measure of his sword.
53 How m. P. asked Grapes of Ald. Tichburn.
54 How mr. Peters jeered the Poet Withers.
55 How mr. P. gave his opinion of the 3 LLL.
56 How m. P. made himself Hewsons father.
57 How mr. Pet. compared his late Majesty to Barrabas.
58 How mr. Pet. quoted 3 fools in the Gospel.
59 Hovv tvvo Gentlemen put up a bill to mr. Peters.