The Complete Mother, Introduction
THE INTRODUCTION.
§ 1. CUſtom like an impetuous Torrent makes its way through the firmeſt Incloſures, and furiouſly throws down all the Bulworks of Laws, and the moſt Sacred Obligations that obſtruct its paſſage. Like a mighty Tyrant it uſurps upon Truth and Duty, and awes all into a Compliance with its violent Government. Men live (as Seneca obſerves) not by Reaſon but by Imitation; De beata vita. c. 1.whence it comes to paſs, that they fall upon one another by heaps, as ſo many Blind-men into a Ditch. It were eaſie to inſtance in many things, ſtrangely unreaſonable, which being recommended by Cuſtom, have paſſed not only without Controle, but with Applauſe. I wiſh there were not too many popular Vices in our own Nation, to prevent the labour of ſuch an undertaking; Vices, which though they have nothing to juſtifie them beſides their Commonneſs, have even by that alone been able hitherto to baffle the moſt vigorous Attempts againſt them. To mention no more, how many good Laws have been made, how many rational and elaborate Diſcourſes have been publiſhed both from the Pulpit and the Preſs againſt Common Swearings, Intemperate Drinking, Black-mouth'd Perjury and Bloody Revenge? And yet with little other effect hitherto, than to give us ſo many the more Inſtances of the Triumphs of Brutiſh Cuſtom over Reaſon and Religion: And to convince us that all ſuch Attempts are as hopeleſs, as for one with ten thouſand, Luk. 14.31.to meet him that cometh againſt him with twenty thouſand: Where the Aſſailant is more likely to be condemned for his Raſhneſs, than applauded for his Courage and Reſolution.
§ 2. It may then be juſtly wondred at, how I come to be ſo daring, as to oppoſe my weak Arms againſt ſuch a mighty Current, or to undertake the controling of a Cuſtom, which hitherto hath prevailed againſt all endeavours of Authority, Reaſon and Eloquence far greater than I can pretend to: This I mean of Mothers declining to Nurſe their own Children, and putting them off to Strangers. Annius Minutius the Roman Cenſor, is ſaid to have took notice of it as a ſtrange Prodigy in his time, extreamly ominous to Rome, that a Roman Lady refuſing to Nurſe her own Child, gave Suck to a Puppy, that her Breaſts might with more ſafety be dried up by artificial Applications. But it is a thing too common, to paſs for a Prodigy among us (though I fear not leſs fatally ominous) for Perſons of the beſt Quality to run the greateſt Hazards, and ſubmit to the moſt unhandſom Methods for drying up their Suck, rather than to become Nurſes to their own Children. And I find a moſt refined Pen (than whom none in this Age could have been more likely to have ſucceeded,Ladies Calling, Part 2. Sect. 2. §. 28. if either Reaſon, Eloquence, or a more charming ſtrain of extraordinary Piety be of any force) declining to attack this prevailing Cuſtom, through meer Deſpair of convincing by any thing that could be ſaid.
§ 3. But upon mature Conſideration, I can find no reaſon why Impudence and Obſtinacy ſhould protect any Sin from a juſt Reproof: Nor can I think it a juſtifiable piece of Modeſty to decline the defence of a good Cauſe, meerly for the Multitude and Confidence of its Opponents. It was brave in the Stripling David to aſſault the monſtrous Gyant with his Sling and a few Stones; and the Succeſs was anſwerable to his Courage. And why may not I (relying on the ſame God) hope for as good Succeſs from theſe my ſlender Endeavours, ſince the Cauſe I undertake, though it deſerve the beſt, is ſufficient to give Victory to the meaneſt Advocate? Leaving therefore the Event to God's Providence, I am encouraged to aſſault this ſtubborn and inveterate Cuſtom.
1. By an hearty Compaſſion for the Infants which ſuffer by it.
2. For a neceſſary Vindication of thoſe few honourable Ladies who have had the Vertue and Courage by their Practiſe to confront it.
3. And by the Senſe of my own Duty, as a Clergy-man, to appear againſt the Luxury of the Age.
§ 4. For the firſt: I am not aſhamed to own a peculiar Inclination in my ſelf, to love and delight in the Converſation of little Children, among whom I have always found a moſt agreeable Diverſion. Nor need I, ſince our Bleſſed Lord himſelf gave encouragement to bring ſuch little ones to him, was pleaſed to take them in his Arms, and to propoſe their Innocence to our Imitation. And as this hath induced me to ſpend all my vacant Hours among Children for their Improvement, as well as the gratifying of mine own Inclinations; ſo it makes me the more Impatient at all thoſe, who betray any Averſion, or are guilty of any Unkindneſs toward them. And ſince the Children of our Nobility and Gentry are juſtly reputed to be the Hopes of the next Generation, it is reaſonable to be moſt concern'd for them; who in their Infancy generally are more Unhappy than the Sons of Country Peaſants. The Poor Tenants Child is for the moſt part nurſed in its own Mothers Boſom, and cheriſhed by her Breaſts, whilſt the Landlord's Heir is turn'd out, exil'd from his Mothers embraces as ſoon as from her Womb, and aſſigned to the Care of ſome Stranger, who hath no other Endearments toward it, than what are owing ſolely to her Intereſt. And ſuch as work for Wages, are uſually not ſo careful how they do their Work, as to get their Stipend; nor is a Mercinary Nurſe much concerned how the Infant Improves, provided ſhe have a good place of it. Thus the Infants of the beſt Families are moſt hardly uſed, and vaſt numbers of them undoubtedly deſtroyed. And ſure I need not deſpair of Pardon even from thoſe Ladies who are moſt concerned in the enſuing Reproof, ſince it is the reſult of my real and hearty Compaſſion for their dear Children.
§ 5. Beſides Secondly, I have obſerved, that thoſe Ladies, who contrary to this prevailing Cuſtom, have undertaken the Nurſery of their own Babes, have oft met with unhandſom Reflections and bitter Taunts from others of the contrary Practiſe, which makes the Vindication of them a neceſſary piece both of Juſtice and Charity. A Lady that will condeſcend to be a Nurſe, though to her own Child, is become as Unfaſhionable and Ungenteel, as a Gentleman that will not Drink, Swear and be profane; but dares be out of Faſhion in leading an exactly vertuous and ſober Life. Apd if ever you ſaw the Modeſty of ſuch an one aſſaulted by the Railery and Scorn of a Company of Debauchees, when he happens to fall among them: You may imagine the need thoſe few Ladies have of Courage and Reſolution, who by Nurſing their own Children, expoſe themſelves to the Taunts and Deriſion of the many, who decline that Office, and look upon themſelves to be upbraided by their Examples.
§ 6. And when I obſerve thoſe few Ladies, who beſt diſcharge their Duties, expoſed to the Scoffs of ſuch as neglect theirs; and on the other hand, reflect on the Unhappineſs of thoſe poor Infants, whoſe Mothers make it a Punctilio of State to caſt them off to the Care of Strangers, I cannot but believe it a good Office, and a few hours well beſtowed, to attempt the Vindication of the beſt Mothers, and to plead (with thoſe that are otherwiſe) the cauſe of thoſe helpleſs Innocents, who are not able, unleſs in their inarticulate cries, to ſpeak for themſelves. Eſpecially
§ 7. Since thirdly, the conſideration of my own Obligations, as a Clergyman, encourage me in this undertaking. For in the Book entitled,Cap. 13. De Matrimonio. Reformatio Legum Eccleſiaſticarum, which was compoſed by eight Biſhops (whereof Archbiſhop Cranmer and Biſhop Ridley were two) eight Divines, and as many Civil and Common Lawyers, in purſuance of an Act of Parliament, and intended for the Government of the Reformed Church of England, and the Rules of Eccleſiaſtical Courts, I find this paſſage. A Cuſtom too ſoft and delicate hath prevailed among Wives, to diſcard their Offſpring from their own Breaſts, and hire them out to be nurſed by Strangers; which thing for the moſt part being without any probable Cauſes, but only from an over-indulgent Fondneſs of their own Bodies, it comes to paſs, that to eaſe themſelves, they ſhuffle off the Honourable and Natural Pains of educating their own Children; and ſince this inhumane and degenerate Sloathfulneſs of Mothers is the cauſe of many Evils, we think it the Duty of Preachers to exhort Mothers not to deſert their Off-ſpring which they have borne, nor to deny thoſe the benefit of their Breaſts, whom they lately nouriſhed in their Womb, and ſuſtained with their own Bowels. Now ſince our Reformation after it was brought to good Perfection in reſpect of Worſhip and Doctrine, was hindred by the Death of King Edward from receiving the Conſummation which was intended in reſpect of Church-Government and Eccleſiaſtical Laws; this Book, which gives us the moſt authentick account what was intended, cannot but be of great Authority with all that value the Judgment of our firſt Reformers. So that I may from this conclude, not only that it is every Preachers Duty to exhort Mothers to Nurſe their own, but alſo that it is the Duty of Mothers to comply with their Exhortations, and that if they do otherwiſe, they betray an unjuſtifiable Contempt of theſe learned and pious Reformers of and Martyrs for our Holy Religion.
§ 8. To theſe Motives of my preſent undertaking I will add one more, viz. The hopes of routing this unnatural Cuſtom, and doing a deal of good thereby. I am ſure I have a very good Cauſe, and all the ſtrength of Reaſon and Religion on my ſide, and the Impulſes of Nature to boot. I have alſo the more courteous and tractable Sex to deal with, who I may promiſe my ſelf, cannot all be obſtinate againſt the Evidences of their Duty, and the Inclinations of Natural Affection. And why ſhould I deſpair of reſcuing ſo great a part of Mankind from the Tyranny of an impudent Cuſtom, who ſeem ready to accept of Liberty, and to wait for ſome kind Deliverer to unlooſe their Fetters? Shall I doubt of a candid Reception from that Sex, whom Nature hath molded for Courteſie, and the Impreſſions of Religion and Compaſſion? Especially ſince, as Themiſtocles is ſaid to have prevailed in his Addreſſes to Admelus King of the Moloſſi, by bringing the King's Son in his Arms, I bring their own Children with me to ſecond my Perſuaſions by their prevailing Interceſſions, or indeed not ſo much to intercede for me, as to Petition for themſelves.
§ 9. But if any rebellious Luſt, if Luxury, Pride or Avarice dare to appear againſt me, I have the Enſigns of Divine Authority to awe them, Evidences I mean from the Holy Scriptures and the Law of Nature to command their Submiſſion. And though thoſe Books are ſaid to be moſt fatally Deſtructive, which convince of Duty and yet fail of perſuading to it; yet what I have to propoſe, ſeems to me ſo likely, not only to convince, but alſo to perſuade, that I hope it will do no harm but Service to the World. To conclude this Introduction, though theſe Reaſons prevailed to engage me to compoſe the enſuing Diſcourſe, yet for ſome Months I kept it by me, and could not perſuade my ſelf to publiſh it, till I met with his Grace the Lord Archbiſhop of Canterbury's Sermons about the Education of Children lately publiſh'd; wherein he recommends this as the firſt and moſt natural Duty incumbent on Parents toward their Children; and argues againſt the general neglect of it, as one of the great and crying Sins of this Age and Nation. And when I found my ſelf backed by ſuch Authority, I became uncapable of fearing any Senſures, or deſpairing of good Succeſs.