The Devils Patriarch, Text

The Devils Patriarch · Text

p. 1The Notorious LIFE Of this preſent POPE of ROME, [INNOCENT, XI.]

THis preſent Pope of Rome was Cardinal Odeſchalchi of Come in the Dutchy of Millaine, when called to the Roman-Chair, whether we wrong him in reckoning him among the Baſe Brambles of the Curſed Earth, is the [foreign] Poſtulatum, or Grand Enquiry. In the General let Dr. Prideaux give the Anſwer for me, who Writes a Compendious Hiſtory of the Lives of all the Popes, and after he hath paſt the Patriarchs, (and the tollerable Popes) He begins at Anno Dom. 606. with Uſurping Nimrods, (a worſe Name than Brambles) and Reckons Thirty Eighth Popes (Cruel Hunters all,) from that Year, to 847.

p. 2The Firſt of which Black Bed-Roll, was Boniface the Third, and Leo the Fourth was the Laſt.

His next Rank were (as he Stiles them) Rank Luxurions Sodomites, whereof He Reckons Forty, from the Year 855. to 996. the Firſt of them was Pope John the Eighth (in plain Engliſh, Pope Joan, the Rank Whore, which God would have, to Declare to all the World, That the Church of Rome is the Apocalyptick Whore,) and the Laſt of that Number was Gregory the Fifth.

His Third ſort of Popes, from the Year 999. to 1240. that He preſents to our View, are another Bundle of Forty Popes again, whom He Dignifies with that Honourable Title of Aegyptian Magicians; the Firſt of this Black Regiment was Sylveſter the Second, and the Laſt was Caeleſtine the Fourth.

His Fourth Proſpect of Popes He giveth, is another lovely Cluſter of Sower Grapes, conſiſting of Eight and Thirty Popes, from the Year 1243. to 1503. The Captain whereof is Innocent the Fourth, and the Lieutenant (that brings up the Rear) is Pius the Third, All which he Brandeth for a Company of Devouring Abaddons, All Bad-ones beyond Bounds.

p. 3Yet ſtill there be worſe behind, [Occupat extremum Scabies,] which as ſome do Engliſh, not only the Scab, but the Devil cometh hindermoſt. 'Tis the Divine Doom inflicted upon the Church of Rome, as an Apoſtate, to be waxing worſe and worſe, therefore it may the leſs be wondred at, that the laſt Claſſis of Popes, (which are the very Dregs of Time,) muſt be the worſt, and thereupon are worthily Stigmatiz'd with the worſt Appellation. The Words of the Reverend Author aforeſaid, Run thus, [after the Devouring Abaddons,] To fill up the Myſtery and Meaſure of Iniquity, the Incurable Babylonians do next ſtep upon the Stage, [Curavimus Babylona, & non eſt Sanata, Jerem. 51.6.] We would have Cured Babylon, but ſhe could not be Cured, for the reſt of the Men that were not Killed by thoſe Plagues, Repented not of their (1.) Murthers, (2.) Sorceries, (3.) Fornications, (4.) Thefts, Revel. 9.20, 21. This laſt and worſt Rank reaches from the Year 1503. to this preſent 1683. betwixt which Two Periods the Number of Popes are Twenty-Five, (the feweſt Number of all the Five Claſſes, yet have the Fouleſt, both Name and Nature.) whereof Julius the Second leads the Van, and this preſent Pope, (the ſubject of our Diſcourſe,) brings up the Rear.

p. 4I would have given ſome ſhort Remarks upon theſe ſeveral Claſſes, (thus dignified and diſtinguiſhed with thoſe Five aforeſaid Honourable Titles,) and upon the ſeveral Popes, as they ſtand in Rank and File, under their ſeveral Banners in every Claſſis, had it not been beſide my preſent purpoſe, and would it not have ſwoln this Diſcourſe too much. I ſhall therefore ſatisfie my ſelf, and the Reader with Two Remarks only.

The Firſt Remark is, That the Leader of the Van in the Second Rank, is a Virago rather than a Virgo, a Pope of the Faeminine Gender, that Taught Gramarians to Decline Papa with Haec not Hic: The name of this Female Pope, (John or Joan) both in a Literal and Myſtical Senſe, ſheweth that Rome may well be called the Whore of Babylon, Romiſh Chronologers have not Inſerted her Name in the Catalogue of Popes, which Marianus Scotus Renders this Reaſon for, [Propter Turpituidinem Rei, & Sexum Muliebrem,] becauſe the wrong Gender would be a Reproach to them. Wherefore to avoid the like Diſgrace, the Porphiry Chair, (or Groping-ſtool) was Ordained, Ubi ab Ultimo Diacono, &c. Where the loweſt Deacon muſt make the Experiment, &c. Hence it is, That theſe Popes who p. 5have called themſelves [Johns] are ſo ill ordered in their common Catalogues, ſome making that John which Succeeded [Adrian the Second] in the Year 872. to be John the Eighth, and others John the Ninth: Ingenious Platina forequoted, doth only (of all the Romaniſts) Recken Pope Joan as the Eighth of the Johns, and ſo farward: And 'tis proboble enough (ſaith Dr. Heylin, a Man Fair and Favourable enough) that God ſuffer'd that Proud See of Rome to fall into ſuch a profound Reproach, the more to cut the Coxcombs of the Succeeding Popes in their Higheſt Ruff and Riotings, and the better to beat down their Big Brags of a continued Succeſſion, whereof they are frequently Boaſting. As [Remember Lots Wife] is a due Caution to us, ſo I ſee not why [Remember Pope Joan] ſhould not be likewiſe a true Check to them: The Truth of this Story, as to matter of Fact, Mr. Alexander Cook (my quondam Predeceſſour) in his Book of Pope Joan hath proved it by Irrefragable Arguments, and hath moſt Induſtruouſly batter'd down all the Objections which the moſt Mercurial Wits of Rome could raiſe againſt it. See his Book, and Dr. Heylins Coſmography in Folio the laſt Edition, pag. 107. &c. The Baſtard Abimeleck aforementioned did Deſperately grudg, p. 6that it ſhould be ſaid [a Woman had Braind him] Judg. 9.54. Sure I am, this baſe born Brat of Rome (the Head of the Church) hath Received (were He ſenſible) a Deadly Wound by the hands of a Woman likewiſe, with this difference only, the former was Active, and Deſigning, the latter was Paſſive, and never purpoſed the Wounding: 'Tis ſuch a Reproach to the Roman Chair as will never be wiped off; this is the Semiramis, the Amazoman Queen, the She-Captain, that ſtands in the Front of the Second Rank, to wit, of the Luxurious Sodomits.

The Second Remark is, concerning Julio the Second, who ſtands as a ſtout Generaliſſimo of the laſt Rank, to wit, of Incurable Babylonians, and He is moſt fitly placed in that Station, as having far more of the Souldier, than of the Prelate in Him, keeping Italy, all his Popedom, in continual Wars, and for a pregnant proof, that this Romiſh God, was a Man of Mettal, This is the Pope, who paſſing over Tyber-Bridg, firſt Brandiſh'd his Sword, and then threw his Keys into the River, ſaying, If Peters Keys would not ſerve his Turn, then Pauls Sword ſhould do it Home.

Such a Thraſonick Bravado would better become Julius Caeſar the Emperour of Rome, than Julius Secundus the Biſhop of p. 7Rome. But I have been thinking, that 'tis a Thouſand pities, Famous Pope Joan had not her Lot in this Laſt Rank too, yea, and (were it not to Dethrone and Diſpoſſes this Heroick Hector) She might have ſtood in the Captains place there, as She doth in the Second Rank, [Detur digniori] is the Rule, She beſt deſerving it: for where could that Whore of Babylon (as above) be better placed? than among the Incurable Babylonians, and where could that Incurable Whore have been better order'd? than in the Front of that File of Defiled and Defileing Beaſts.

However, this preſent Pope, Cardinal Odeſchalcho, (who hath chang'd his Name into Innocent the Eleventh,) is Repreſented to our View as ſtanding upon the Tail and Fag-end of thoſe Incurable Babylonians: We uſe to ſay, Such a perſon as Labors under a Mortal Incurable Diſeaſe, hath a [Miſerere Mei Deus,] writ upon his Door: who it is, that Writes the Continuation of Dr. Prideaux's Introduction, I know not, yet he Writes an Epitome of this our Cardinal Odeſchalcho's publick Actions and Tranſactions, ſince his coming to be Groped in the Porphyry Chair: and we are much obliged to that Author (who ever he is) for fixing this preſent Pope under the Head of Incurable p. 8Babylonians, but I know not (in all the World) how to Reconcile the White Character that Author giveth him, and the Black Title be ſeteth over him. The Deſcription of his Life there, ſeems to carry no Congruity with an Incurable Babylonian. 'Tis great pity, that any miſtaking Candour ſhould make ſuch a Diſparity: but to let that paſs, come we now to give a more full and Impartial Account of his Riſe and Begining, &c. So far as Hiſtorians lends any light hereunto.

I find that this Perſon (ſo ſoon as any Fame found him) had his firſt noticed Capacity at Come, a place of note in the Dukedom of Millain in Italy, a Town, made the more Famous by being the Birth-place of the two Famous Plinys, and ſituated on the South-ſide of the Lacus La…ius, which from this Town hath now the name of Lago di Como, through this Lake the River Addua runs; yet (as Geographers ſay) their two Waters do not mingle: Which two Remarks hath occaſion'd in Me two Wiſhes in this mans behalf. The firſt is, that as Pliny became the more Famous for ſtopping Trajan the Emperour from perſecuting the poor Chriſtians in the Empire, by writing elegantly to Him, that He found no greater fault laid to the charge of the perſecuted, p. 9ſave this, that they did (Cantas Ante-lucanos canere) ſing Pſalms before day; upon which Letter the perſecution ceaſed: So would to God this preſent Pope might write ſuch an effectual Letter to the French King in the behalf of the poor perſecuted Proteſtants in France, (ſure I am, he can find no worſe faults in them) ſo ſtop the perſecution there, this would make him more Famous, than ever the Recovery of his Regalitys (he hath been ſo long contending for) can Render Him: whereas, to be outvy'd by a blind Heathen (ſuch was Pliny) in ſuch a good Work of Piety and Charity (which are Works highly cryed up at Rome) may Render Him for ever Infamous. Eſpecially if He be found to puſh it on and promote it, inſtead of putting a ſtop to it. The ſecond Wiſh is, Oh that this pretended Vicar of Chriſt may learn ſome Divine Leſſon, even from the very Nature of his own Country-River, which will not mingle its pure Streams with the puddle water of a corrupted ſtanding Lake: not to play the Huxter in Sophiſticating, and Adulterating the truth of the Goſpel, by mingling it with corrupt Traditions. There is certainly moſt Evangelical Doctrine in that Levitical Law, thou ſhalt not let thy Cattle Gender with a diverſe Kind, thou ſhalt not Sow thy p. 10Field with a mingled Seed, neither ſhall a Garment mingled of Linnen and Wollen come upon thee] Levit. 19.19. to ſhew, that Miſcelanees in Religious Worſhip are both hateful to God, and hurtful to Men: and not onelyonly the nature of His River, but alſo naturaliſts do teach Him not to mingle the Inventions of Men, with the Inſtitutions of God, for they ſay, that though Gold be ſo Ductile, as to be willing to mix and incorporate it ſelf with other Mettals, ſave onelyonly with Latten, notwithſtanding, as to its outward Luſtre, it be ſo like it ſelf: ſo the true Church (which is call'd a golden Candleſtick) will not mix or embody her ſelf with the falſe (commonly called the Latin) Church, which ſtagnateth like a ſtinking Lake, though ſhe reſembleth the Spouſe, and ſits in the Temple of God, 2 Theſ. 2.4. but indeed is the Apocalyptick Whore, and the moſt Capital Enemy to the Flock of Chriſt, in all the laſt Ages: This preſent Pope, while he was in his publick Capacity (omitting his private, as not worth Recording) at this Town of Come, went under the name of Benedict Odeſchalci, of the Title of Saint Onuphrius and was created a Cardinal under Pope Innocent the 10th. March the 6th. in the year 1645. Upon which take theſe Remarks.

p. 11Firſt, 'Tis not eaſie to Aſſign the Reaſon why his proper praenomen (that of Benedict) ſhould become ſo diſguſtful to Him as to change it into Innocent (the Name of his Predeceſſours in the Chair) ſeeing it was (as it ſignifies) a bleſſed Name, and alſo the Name of ſome Popes before him, but more of that change of Names afterwards, when we come to his Popedom.

Secondly, There may a more probable conjecture be given for the change of his Sir-Name, to wit, Odeſchalcho, more eſpecially when it is Allowable to give an Italick Name an Attick Etymology, and ſo [nomen quaſi notamen] that Name hath an evil ſound, ſent, and ſenſe, ſignifying (not a Golden) but a Brazen Song. That which ſents and ſavours of Braſs (we uſually ſay) is unpleaſant to the Palate, and 'tis the more likely this Name might be diſguſtful to his Palate, ſeeing his Predeceſſour Sergius the Second, even quarelled with his own Name, which (before he was Pope) was [Bocca di Porco] ſignifying Swine-Mouth, or Hog-Face, and thinking that ill-ſounding Name not ſuitable to his Dignity, he therefore changed it. And upon ſuch an Honourable Preſident, if Hog-Face was ſo odious a Name to the former, why might not alſo Braſs-Face or Brazen-Face (as a Face of Braſs is an p. 12approbrious Phraſe amongſt us) be odious to this latter.

Thirdly, As to the Title of Saint Onuphrius he was dignified with at Come, I ſhall onelyonly ſay at this time (though much more might be added) what Tradition tells us of this Onuphrius, that he was a monkiſh Man, who lived a ſolitary Life for ſixty years, in which ſpace he ſaw no Man: had our Odeſ. chalcho Imitated this monkiſh Patroon, and trode in this Pattern's Steps, he had never become a Cardinal, much leſs a Pope, unto which converſing with Men, and conveying Kindneſſes to them (to oblige their Votes at Election) are neceſſary Ingredients, and which he to the utmoſt improved.

Fourthly, As to his being made a Cardinal while at Come: this is one of the higheſt pitches and pinacles of Pride (the very next to the loftyeſt Spire of the Pope himſelf) that the Romiſh Clergy Aſpire to, for the Cardinals are the Popes Senatours or Privy Councellors, and are called Cardinals, which is derived from Cardo, the Hinge of a Door, becauſe upon them (as the Door hangs upon the Hinge, and turns which way we will, either for opening or ſhutting) all the important Affairs of the Roman Church hang and are turned which way they pleaſe: thus the word [Cardinal] is uſually uſed p. 13thus, that whereupon any thing moſt turneth and dependeth, as to Eaſt, Weſt, North, and South, are call'd Cardinal Points of the Compaſs. Thus alſo thoſe four principal Vertues, [Prudence, Juſtice, Fortitude, and Temperance] are call'd the Cardinal Vertues. And thus the Word is generally taken to denote ſomething that is Chief and Principle: So theſe Cardinals are: But the Hinge, upon which theſe Cardinals did themſelves at the firſt Hang, was very Low, and their Original Extract very Contemptible: For this great Office did creep into the Roman Church thus, Pope Marcellus in the Third Century divided the City of Rome into 25 Pariſhes (ſome Authors call them Dioceſſes) over each of which He appointed a Presbyter, whoſe work was Aſſigned to Baptize Heathens Converted, and to Bury the Dead within their ſeveral Precincts: Theſe were afterward called Cardinals, or Principal Prieſts, or Deacons, becauſe they had [Curam Animarum] the Cure of Souls committed to them, and had others (in Sacred Orders alſo) under them: There be Three ſorts of Holy Orders, ſo called, to diſtinguiſh them from their Four other Orders, (Door-Keeper, Readers, Exorciſts, Acolyths, or Taper-bearers,) Theſe are, Firſt, The Sub-Deacons, (whoſe Office is the Gropeing p. 14Work, &c.) Secondly, The Deacon (who, with the former, hath the Honour only to kiſs the Biſhops Hand at the Ordination,) See Roſſes View, &c. pag. 451. The Third, Is the Prieſt, whom the Biſhop Kiſſeth to ſhew his Parity in Reſpect of Order, Idem Ibidem. Theſe ſame 25 Prieſts of ſo many Pariſhes in the City, being always ſo nigh the Pope, the more that he grew up gradually into his Grandeur, the higher did he draw up theſe Prieſts (his Appurtenances) their poſture all along keeping pace with the Popes Pomp, Adeò ut quod in principio Oneri fuit, Tandem Aliquandò Honori eſſe Caepit. So, that which at firſt was but a Poor and Burdenſom Office, became at length an Employ of Dignity and Honour: Thus Dr. Heylin Teſtifieth, That Pope Paſchal the Firſt cauſed the Prieſts of the ſeveral Pariſhes in Rome, by reaſon of their nearneſs to his Perſon, their preſence at his Election, to be Honoured with a more Venerable Title, that is, to be called Cardinals, See Coſmogr. pag. 107. at the Top. Thus from a company of pitiful Pariſh Prieſts, they account themſelves not only Check-Mates to Princes, but alſo Compeers with Kings themſelves; but indeed they ought to be eſteemed the principal Limbs of the Beaſt Antichriſt; yea, they are ſo far Incorporated p. 15with the Pope himſelf, that they muſt not (forſooth) ſo much as be let Bloud without his ſpecial Licenſe; 'tis (no doubt) for fear leaſt the Head ſhould be ſo concern'd in theſe his Special Members, as to Die with them by Sympathy: The Number of them at their firſt Roman Conſtitution (for want of a Divine Inſtitution) were, as is aforeſaid, Twenty Five, which Dr. Potter worthily Obſerves to be the exact Root Number of Six Hunndred Sixty Six, the Namber of the Beaſt; but now they are Multiplied like a Numerous Spawn, into much more than Double the Number; that depends wholy and ſolely at the Popes pleaſure, who can Blow them out of his Mouth as many as he pleaſeth; he can Breath out a Cardinal with as much eaſe, as he Breaths out the Holy Ghoſt; yea, for Doing ſome Notable Jobb in Hand, he can Breath out, or rather Spit out of his Palat or Pallace, a matter of Sixteen Cardinals at one Spit, as this preſent Pope hath lately done; Oh what an Improving Leap & Advance hath he now made, whereas while he was but a Cardinal, he is then but a Created Creature of the Pope, but now that he is become a God Almighty the Pope, he can be a Creator of his Creatures: Monſtrum Horrendum, &c. Prodigious were his Priviledges, p. 16(which not Chriſt, but Antichriſt, beſtowed upon him while a Cardinal,

As Firſt, When ever he Rode abroad to take Freſh Air, His (Sir) Reverence was ſo Glorified (yet not ſo much as Chriſt was at his Transfiguration) with his Right Reverend Red Hat, and Rich Robes, that the Splendor of Beth theſe Dazel'd all Spectators Eyes, yea, the very Blaſt of his Body but paſſing by, Blew off all their Hats, and Bore ſo hard upon them, as to Blow them over, and made them fall down to Worſhip Him, and to ask of Him his Patriarchal Bleſſing, which He rarely beſtowed with that Ingenuity, as He in the Story did, who in ſo doing, ſaid, [Si Populus Vult Decipi, Decipiatur.] Light cheap Words make Fools fain. No doubt but His Shadow, (as he is now Pope, and Peters Succeſſor) can cure as many Diſeaſes, as that of Peters did. Pope Innocent the Fourth, Graced the Cardinals with a Red (Fools Cap, or) Hat, by his Ordinance in the Twelfth Century; and in the Fourteenth, Pope Pius the Second Advanced their Splendor yet Higher, with moſt Stately Scarlet Gowns, (Dr. Heylins Coſmogr. pag. 108. at the bottom.) Thus were they Attired in ſuch Antick, Gawdy and Pedantick Dreſſes, as neither Chriſt nor his Apoſtles ever Strutted about in, which p. 17muſt Declare to all the World, that this is the Antichriſt, and none need ſay of Him, as John Baptiſt ſaid often to Chriſt, [Art thou He that ſhould come, or may we look for another?] No, this is the Red Letter-Man, in his Red Hat and Scarlet Gown. This is the Bloudy and Scarlet Coloured Beaſt.

The Second eminent priviledge this Cardinal was dignified with by his Creator the Pope, is, that whatever condemned Malefactor (juſt going to the place of Execution) could but be ſo happy as to meet this Man in his Ponticalibus in the way of his Progreſs, He was immediatly to be Acquitted, and his Life ſpared, that He might evermore Admire and Adore this his Romiſh Saviour. 'Tis pitty his clemency is not more exerciſed out of deſign in this Life-Saving Work: Oh what a choice Act of Mercy might He ſometimes do here in but croſſing the way at a right Juncture, betwixt Newgate and Tyburn, when his Pontifical Preſence is bleſt with ſuch an excellent Vertue as both to ſatisfie the Nations Law, (which is mortally broken) and Save alſo the Life and Soul of the condemned.

A Third Immunity He had alſo in that Cardinal Capacity, was, that no Cardinal can be Condemned for the moſt Capital Crime, except He can firſt be Convicted by p. 18the Teſtimony of Seventy Two Witneſſes. By this means, a Cardinal may ſafely venture to be the greateſt Villain in the World, not onelyonly becauſe the Canon-Law ſaith [Eccleſia ſit libera] let Church-Men be free from ſecular Cenſures, but alſo (though the aforeſaid may fail) if they do but obſerve their own Jeſuitical Rule [ſi non caſtè, tamen cautè] He may without hazard perpetrate Whoredom, Treaſon, the worſt of wickedneſs, ſo he do it with caution, and he deſerves to be hang'd ſeventy two times over, that will act his Villany in the preſence of ſeventy two perſons, that may all come in as joynt Witneſſes againſt Him: The Law of the true and onelyonly wiſe God (ſuppoſing the Teſtimony of two or three Witneſſes ſufficient) is but comparatively an Inſipid Sentence: but the Law of their Lord God the Pope is far more profound, ſaying, two or three and twenty are not enough of Witneſſes, even againſt the Inferiour Clergy. There muſt (ſay they) be twenty ſeven againſt a Deacon, ſixty four againſt a Prieſt, and ſeventy two againſt a Biſhop-Cardinal. Dianae compendium, pag. 85. No wonder if the Romiſh Clergy be the greateſt Rogues, and vileſt Villains in the World: No wonder if they carry ſo deep, and ſo Epidemick p. 19a Tincture as the only and unparallel'd Tools to be employed by Belzebub; for Murdering of Kings, Blowing up of Parliaments, managing not only Privat and Perſonal Aſſaſinations, but alſo Publick and National Maſſacres, to Aſtoniſhment; to ſay nothing of Burning down Cities and Market-Towns, and many more Matchleſs Miſchiefs, whereof how far this their Holy Father (both while Cardinal, and when Pope) in Conjunction with his Unholy Sons have been guilty, the Sequel will Demonſtrate; and that Ex abundanti.

A Fourth Priviledg (or rather a Prerogative) this Cardinal had, while ſo, was, That whoſoever would dare to Offend or Injure (in any kind) his Worſhip or Cardinalſhip, though the Offence were only an opprobrious Word, and though the Offender were ſo Lofty as a King or an Emperor (who apprehend themſelves above the comprehenſions of the Law) yet the Popiſh Canon-Law Runs thus ſeverely againſt them, [Laeſae Majeſtatis Rei Sunt, cujus cun que ſint Ordinis, Imò Imperator ipſe, &c. Et In paenas Bullae Caenae Incurrent.] Such Offenders againſt a Cardinal (yea though it be the Emperor himſelf) ſhall be Judged Guilty of High-Treaſon, and ſhall Incur the Pains and Penalties of Excommunication, Depoſition, p. 20&c. Was not this a Lofty Beaſt then? Exalting himſelf above all that is called God, or Magiſtrates, even of the very higheſt Form, 2 Theſ. 4.4. He might, while in that Capacity only, challenge the Stouteſt King or Emperor, to affront his Cardinalſhip, while he ſtood thus ſtrongly Guarded by his Canon-Law, to Batter them down with its Horrible and Terrible Canon-Bullets; nay, That Canon-Law did not only thus ſecure his Perſon, but it alſo extends to protect his very Houſe, and all his Hang-bys, or Menial Servants, to all his Creatures and Favourites in his Preſence; even all theſe his Appertinances are troubled with that Diſeaſe called [Noli me Tangere] They muſt not (forſooth) be touched, though never ſo Criminal, 'tis an Affront of the higheſt Nature, even High-Treaſon it ſelf, and therefore (with my conſent) ſhould any of his Clerks be afflicted with the Kings-Evil (as they are overrun with the Popes-Evil) a Caveat ſhall be Entred to Debar them of the Royal-Touch, leaſt by a Male-Improvement thereof, they turn their Canon-Mouth againſt the King: How, neither the Cardinal, nor any of his Attendants (every one bearing for his Motto, the ſame with the Baſe Thiſtle, [Nemo me Impunè laceſſit,] none can touch me p. 21without Pricking their own Fingers) ſtand Fortified with the Grand Diabolo's, or Great Canons of that Canon-Law. See Dianoe Compendium, pag. 93.

The Fifth Prerogative this Cardinal had, above all Kings and Emperors, is, That whereas They, Poor Low Shrubs (in compariſon of ſuch a Tall Cedar as a Cardinal is) muſt humble themſelves to the very Foot of the Pope, muſt Honour the very Shadow of his Shoe-ſtrings, or rather Adore the Sparkling Diamonds, wherewith the Buckles of his Pantofle is moſt Richly Enambled, and the Higheſt Honour that thoſe Kings and Emperours muſt have vouchſafed to them, (a Glorious Vouchſafement and Low Condeſcention in his Unholineſs indeed) is only to Kiſs the Stinking Toe of his Gowty Gulls: but when this Cardinal came to pay his Viſits, and do his Homage, unto his Mighty God Pope Clement the Tenth, (his immediate Predeceſſor) he had the Honour (without any proſtrating poſture, ſave only a ſlight Congee) to Kiſs his Holineſſes Hands, with a Mental Reſervation too, (Right Romaniſt like) wiſhing him well in his Grave, that he might (upon ſuch an Irreſiſtible Reſignation) yeild up his Pontifical Chair to him: Nay, the Royal Complement of Kiſſing the Popes Hand only, p. 22was not all the Honour he had from him, but he is allowed to Kiſs the Popes Mouth too. Lorinus the Jeſuit, in Act. 6. doth acknowledg this Ceremony (as to matter of Fact) to be the Cardinals Prerogative above Kings and Emperours: If the Kiſſing of the Biſhop by the Prieſt at his Ordination, do declare a Parity, as above: So this likewiſe muſt be an Indication, that a Cardinal is a Popes Fellow, yet Advanced above Kings and Emperours, (contemptible Titles and Offices to his) by this mutual Embracement. The Hebrew Rabbins do Read theſe words, [Gnal Pi Jehovah] Deut. 34.5. which we Tranſlate [According to the Word of the Lord] in this Senſe, That Moſes Died at the Mouth of Jehovah, (which indeed the Hebrew Words do Genuinely and Gramatically ſignifie,) as if God had taken away Moſes his Soul out of his Body with a Kiſs in a moſt friendly manner: could this Lord God the Pope (Clement the Tenth) have done ſo to Cardinal Odeſchalcho, when he Kiſs'd him, it had been no better than Oſculum Iſcarioticum. rather a Treacherous, than an Amicable Kiſs, in ſpoiling his Market, of deſigning to become his Succeſſor upon the Papal Throne, and then had the World wanted him for Pope Innocent the Eleventh, though both the Place and the p. 23Title might have been ſupplied by ſome other Perſon: Had this happen'd ſo, That Pope might have cry'd Quits for his wiſhing (in his Mental Reſervation afore mentioned) the Pontifical Chair before the Time: what loſs this might have been to the Roman Church, I know not, but this I know upon more Infallible proofs than his own Infallibility, that had he Died at the Mouth of his Lord God the Pope, when that Complemental Kiſs paſs'd betwixt him and his Predeceſſor, he had undoubtedly paſs'd off the Stage with leſs Guilt, the Horrid Popiſh Plot, the Murder of Sir Edmondbury Godfrey, and a Thouſand more Diabolical Intriegues ſince that, will lay with weight upon ſome Bodies Conſcience ſooner or later. Veniet, Veniet, qui malè Judicata Rejudicabit Dies: There is a Day coming, which ſhall Judg Righteouſly all Matters over again, (though at preſent they be Huſh'd up in Judgment) and this may be done even in this World.

I add to all the former the Sixth Priviledg, For ſo many muſt be the Number, that it may the better Symbolize, and carry a Correſpondency with the Number of the Beaſts Name, which conſiſts of Three Sixes, [666.] and therefore ſeveral Popes bore the Number of Sixtus, and had I been p. 24of the Conclave (an Honour I am no way Ambitious of) I would have adviſed the Cabal, that this Pope Elect ſhould have taken upon him no other Name, ſave that former Name of Sixtus, and I would have preſs'd this Cogent Argument, That ſeeing there had been before, Sixtus the Firſt, the Second, the Third, the Fourth, and the Fifth, now One that will be Stiled Sixtus the Sixth, not only makes the Odd Number Even, but alſo the very Name will carry along with it a moſt Grateful Sound and Symphony: This only would have been the miſchief thereof, that it might have Bordered a little too near the Number of the Name of the Apocalyptick Beaſt, for this Name would have conſiſted of Two Sixes, (Sixtus the Sixth) but that Name conſiſts of Three: notwithſtanding this little difference (in an Unit) it might have Sounded ſome Alarm to the World: This ſo much neceſſary Sixth Priviledg which this Cardinal Odeſchalcho had, was, That his Cardinalſhip did Conſtitute him an Eccleſiaſtick Prince, whereby he became a fit Mate and Side-Fellow (ſtanding upon equal and even Ground) with the moſt Potent Secular Prince in Europe, and therefore to Comport with this Princely Greatneſs, the Canon Law allows him a proportionable p. 25Grandeur, Sumptuous Furniture, and all manner of Pompous Splendor for Supporting the Honour of that Dignity, for to be one of the College of Cardinals is the Penultimate Promotion in the Roman Church, it being the very Higheſt and Uppermoſt Step, from which one or other of theſe Crafty Climbers, Lands at laſt into Peters Chair. And ſeeing Wealth is an Indiſpenſible Perquiſite, as it is commonly call'd the Sinews of War, ſo 'tis no leſs the Nurſe to Honour, yea, oft times more than Vertue, upon this account, Their Canon Law allows them moſt Rich Revenues, moſt Rapacious Offices and Employs, wherein (as if they had got the Philoſophers Stone) they turn all they touch into Gold and Guineys: The Italian Author of the Juſt weight of the Scarlet Gown, gives a Candid and Ingenuous Account, (keeping the Scales even) of thoſe Crafty Intrigues, and many Subtle Tricks, that thoſe Arch-Politicians do put in Practice to Enrich themſelves, to fill their Coffers by Sale of Offices that are Vacant, by Penſions from the Court of Foreign Princes, (both France, Spain, and Germany) who all ſtrive, not only to Counterballance one another, but alſo, by a pretty Greaſo-Fiſto, with Yellow Ointment to Tilt the Ballance, and ſo ſometimes p. 26Advance their own Faction uppermoſt, through the prevailing Intereſt of thoſe their cloſely obliged Creatures the Cardinals, who have ſuch a mighty Influence upon all Debates and Reſolves in that Pragmatick and Superintendent Court, which Lords it, and Laws it, (or at leaſt would willingly do ſo) not only over Gods Herritage the Church, but alſo over the whole Habitable World.

The Scarlet Gown Author, in his Epiſt. Dedic. ſpeaks of the ſeveral Applications that are made to this Conſiſtory of Cardinals, from all Popiſh Princes and States, eſpecially from the Two Mighty Kings of France and Spain, by their Ambaſſadors, who ever lay Ledger at that Court, and who always Addreſs themſelves to the moſt Politick and Powerful of theſe Cardinals, ſtriving to Outvie each other in their proffer of Fat Penſſons to them, giving them the beſt Spiritual Dignities and Promotions their Two Kingdoms can afford them, (which in either of them are plentiful enough) provided always, they will be engaged thereby to Eſpouſe (as much as ever they may) the Intereſts of their Benefactors Crown, to which they are thus obliged. Herein theſe Court-Penſioners do Try the Trick of a Treacherous Judas, p. 27(who with his [Quid Dabitis?] What will ye give me? and I will betray my Innocent Maſter, &c.) rather than play the part of Faithful Peter, (whoſe Succeſſors, though unlike him, ſave only in Denying his Lord, they would be reputed) in Defending his Innocent Maſter from thoſe that Aſſaulted him: for notwithſtanding never ſo ſtrong Engagements and Aſſurances; Oh what a ſlippery Hold either or both thoſe great Princes have of theſe their Cardinal Engines, who frequently (and upon very ſlight occaſions) are found to warp into the contrary Faction, which Verifies the Vulgat Proverb, 'Tis Hard to make a Faſt Bargain with a Looſe Chapman: They however, in playing thus at Faſt and Looſe can notably ſerve their own Ends, and like Bad Lawyers can take a Bribe upon both Sides, when they are Courted by both the Kings. Eſpecially thoſe Cardinals that ſit neareſt the Papal Chair, and are in the faireſt Capacity to Climb next into it, as was the Happy Caſe of this our Cardinal, and therefore muſt be Highly Courted by Foreign Agents in the Name of their Maſters; The Height of whoſe Ambition it was to oblige him. Thus we ſee this Benedetto Odeſchalcho had fair opportunities for gaining Wealth enough to maintain his p. 28Grandeur, the Canon-Law doth Command theſe Cardinals, that, beſides their Living upon the Churches Revenues, to catch what they can for themſelves, (may we Add, Per Fas & Nefas, Vel Vi, Vel Clam, Vel Precariò, either by Hook or Crook, to wit, the Croſier Staff,) upon the Account of Aggrandizing the Roman Clergy, which Poverty would render Contemptible, Dianae Compendium, pag. 88.

How far this Cardinal comply'd (as who of that Catholick Faith would not) with that Canon-command, we ſhall have an Account By and By: But before we can come to that, Here are Two miſchievous Stumbling-ſtones lays in our Way like a Couple of Blockado's, which who ever were able to Roll away out of our Way, would do us a very great Kindneſs; when ſet faſt.

The Firſt is this, Suppoſe this Cardinal had been a Monk, 'tis not to ſuppoſe what ought not to be ſuppoſed; for ſome Benedicts (as his Fore-Name and ſome Popes Name were) had been Benedictine Monks, and at their entrance into their Monaſteries had ſolemnly vowed perpetual Poverty; how could this Monkiſh Man with a good Conſcience Relinquiſh his vowed Poverty? Gather Riches ſo faſt that he got the Devil and all, (as will appear afterwards) became an p. 29Eccleſiaſtick Prince, Ride his Progreſs in all Prince-like Equipage, never proud Haman more Highly Honoured, and never any Triumphant Caeſar or Conquerour better Arrayed than He in his Richeſt Robes for Splendour and Glory: Let any Man come forth and tell me the Conſiſtency of theſe two Contraries, & erit mihi magnus Apollo. He that can rightly Reconcile them, ſhall be my Oracle.

Tuſh (ſaith the Romiſh Caſuiſts, one of the New Quacks the Jeſuits) I can with a wet Finger make theſe two Contraries Jump friendly into one, two odds make even (as Two odd Threes make even Six, ſtill he will harp upon the Number Six, as above) and why may not two at odds meet in even alſo. This is the Learned Gloſs of the Popiſh Caſuiſts upon this Caſe of Conſcience in the General, but more particularly (he ſaith) this Vow of Poverty was taken with a mental Reſervation, that he reſolved to be poor, no longer, than while he could not poſſibly be Rich, and ſo the word [Perpetual] in the Vow muſt be vox aequivoca, and to be taken with equivocation, &c.

Such Dirt-Dawbers (that Dawb with untemper'd Morter) are the Jeſuitical Caſuiſts, yea, many Monks can play the pranks of a Monkey (there is not much difference betwixt p. 30their Names) who can ſlip his Collar on for his Maſters Pleaſure, and with as much eaſe, can ſlip it off again for his own, The Monk can play at faſt and looſe with his ſtrict Vow as well as the Monkey with his ſtrait Collar. But above all Caſuiſts that ſpeak home to this Caſe, hear what an Infallible Pope (papa in Cathedrà non poteſt errare) and that Innocent the 10th, (one of the laſt before this) ſpeaketh; He ſurely, cannot ſpeak but like a moſt profound Oracle: I have heard ſome Judicious Clients ſay, when I want Councel, I will go to the Head, and not to the Tail, meaning, to the profoundeſt Councellors at Law, and not to the mean, pittiful, underling Lawyers: let us do ſo here, omitting all other ſcribling puny Caſuiſts in Popiſh Schools, and hear what this great Oracle ſaith out of Peters unerring Chair: This Pope Innocent the Tenth, when he was but Cardinal Pamphilio, made a promiſe in the Conclave to Marry his onelyonly Nephew into the Family of the Barberinos (one of the three grand pontifical Factions, Paulino and Pamphilian being the other two, in that Sacred Colledge or Conſiſtory) the ſame Promiſe he privatly made to his Nephew alſo; howbeit, he ſoon chang'd his mind (being then not in the Papal Chair and ſo, nor Infallible) and promoted p. 31Him to a Scarlet Gown (inſtead of a Wife) which was far better, and which (he thought) would beſt prevent divers Emergent Differencies that were likely to ariſe by Marrying one of the Pamphilian Family to a Wife of the Barberinos, a contrary Faction, which yet had been wheadled into a Beleif of this great Match for their She-Cozen, becauſe it was ſo ſolemnly and publickly promiſed by the Cardinal (the Unkle of the Gentleman, or in plainer Terms, the Father of the Baſtard) in their Sacred Colledge of Cardinals, where there was a dead weight of Living Witneſſes thereof. Notwithſtanding this Promiſe, a Sacred thing in it ſelf, made in a Sacred place, and before ſo many ſacred Perſons (according to Popiſh Sentiments) he made a ſhift to cozen both them and their She-Cozen: whereupon, not long after His Aſſumption into the Papal Chair (no doubt but his Nephew in his new Scarlet Gown, gave his Uncle an heaty lift thither) Cardinal Antonio Barberinos; having ſtill the grumbling of his Gizzard for the late cheating affront, makes his Addreſs to his New-Created and Now-Crowned Holineſs (expecting nothing but what was Holy Redreſſes ſuitable to his new Title, to ſweeten unto all his new Crown and Dignity) He therefore p. 32brake out into thoſe words to this new Pope Innocent the 10th. (into which he had changed his Name Pamphylio) ſaying, Moſt Bleſſed Father, your Tranſactions about your Nephew (in Marrying him to a Scarlet Gown, and not to our Cozen) doth not well correſpond with your promiſes made to us in the Conclave, when you was but Cardinal: Hereupon his new Un-Holineſs (with a great deal of Gravity, as became his Place) as Un-Holily Anſwered, thus ſaying, Tell me my Lord, who was He, that made ſuch promiſes to you? Was it not Cardinal Pamphilio? Yes, ſaith Antonio, upon which the Pope turns ſhort upon him, and bids him go challeng his Promiſe of Pamphilio, for he was not the Man of that Name now, His Name was Innocent the Tenth, and not that Man you Imagine me to be: At this, Antonio Raged, and like a new Mongi Bello, Fire ſtarted out of his Eyes, and like Old Orlando, ſtamps with his Feet upon the Ground, when he heard the Infallible Chair ſpeak more Fallibly and Fallaciouſly, than ever the Devil did at his Delphos-Oracle: In this Tranſport his Voice alſo Vomited out ſome ſevere Invectives againſt his Lord God the Pope, and in an High Diſguſt, Uncivilly turns his Tail upon his Blaſphemed, as well as Blaſpheming Idol, Excommunicates himſelf p. 33from the Sacred Conſiſtory, and from the Metrapolitan City of Rome (the very place of his own Nativity) flies into France to be Protected by the French King, at whoſe Devotion he had all along been in the Faction, leaving all his Riches (he had Vaſtly ſcraped together) and Revenues behind him: See the Subſtance of this whole Story in the Author of the Juſt Weight of the Scarlet Gown, his own Preface to his Book; who tells us likewiſe, pag. 68. That this Don Antonio Barberino (who thus Diſ-reſented this profound, more than Jeſuitical, the Diabolical Salvo of his Holy Father) was none of the Beſt, who kept for his Miſs or Whore, La Checa Bufona, upon whom he waſted moſt Vaſt Sums of Money, &c. pag. 69.

Mark here, This Papal Diſtinction without a Difference (to wit, it was not Innocent the Pope, but Pamphilio the Cardinal, that made the Promiſe, and therefore not at all obliging, &c.) is the Beſt Bramble-Buſh, that the Infallible Chair it ſelf can find out, wherewith to ſtop the Gap in a Romiſh Conſcience; and if this will ſerve as a ſufficient Salvo for the Supreme Pope himſelf, much more for his Underling, a Cardinal; and ſo our Odeſchalcho is brought off with flying Colours; It was not Odeſchalcho p. 34the Cardinal that Vowed perpetual Poverty, it was only Odeſchalcho the Monk that did ſo, I am not He that made that Vow, 'tis not obliging to me, as a Cardinal, but leaſt of all, as now I am Pope.

Such ſlippery Tricks of the Monkey, we find the Jeſuits can play, as well as the Monks; for Caſimer the Jeſuit could (by his Fervent Prayers to his Founder Ignatius Loyola) obtain an effectual Diſpenſation for his Acquitment from his Holy Orders to Embrace a Crown, the Jewels whereof had a Sovereign Vertue to Salve all Wounds of Conſcience, and to give him a Quietus Eſt: Hereupon he became the King of Poland: but while I think of it, Take this pleaſant Story, I have ſometimes Read with complacency, 'tis this, The Biſhop of Triers (I think, but am ſure it was one of thoſe Biſhops that are the Electoral Princes of the Emperour of Germany) was found fault with for ſome Notorious Extravagances in his Publick Miniſtrations, by a very Grave Senator, Who told him, Such Groſs Actings were a Scandal to his Lawn Sleeves and Mitre; all the Apology that Proud Prelate could make for himſelf, was this, He Anſwered, That he did not thoſe things as he was a Biſhop, but as he was a Prince: But the Senator Replies in a cutting Reprimend, p. 35ſaying, If the Devil get the Prince for ſuch Crimes, I pray you; what will become of the Biſhop. This Non-plus did not admit of a Rejoinder; and is there not par Ratio in both theſe Caſes of Conſcience aforementioned, If the Devil get Pamphilio the Cardinal for breaking his Promiſe, (contrary to Pſal. 15.) what will become of Innocent the Pope; it may be, he hath got them Both together at one Mouthful (being but one Individual Man) already, ſeeing Pope Innocent the Tenth, who was before, Cardinal Pamphilio, is now Trip'd off the Stage, and out Odeſchalcho is got into the Chair in his Room: So likewiſe, If the Devil get the Monk for breaking his Vow of perpetual Poverty, what will become of the Rich Cardinal, ſure I am, Though the Devil hath not already made one Mouthful of them both, yet, the Pope (the Devils Eldeſt Son) hath done it, for both Odeſchalcho the Monk (as ſome ſay) and Odeſchalcho the Cardinal are at once Swallowed up by this preſent Pope, Innocent the Eleventh.

The Upſhot of the whole in a word is this, I Refer to the Judicious Reader, whether this Grave Senator, or the Jeſuits (Azorius, Navar, &c.) yea the Infallible Chair it ſelf, be the better Caſuiſt; and whether Don Antonio Barberino, the Crock-Back p. 36Nephew to Pope Urban the Eighth, were not a Straighter Man of the Two, that Abhord thoſe wicked Evaſions of Pope Innocent the Tenth, as above.

But having well wearied both my Self and my Reader, with lifting at this great Stone that lay in our Way, and yet cannot get it Removed out of the Way half ſo well as was Amaſa's Stab'd Body, that ſtop'd the March of the Army, 2 Sam. 20.12. 'Tis high time to leave it, and to try our Strength in a Lift or Two at the Second, which in like manner obſtructs our paſſage, in giving a particular Character of this preſent Pope.

The Second Objection is, Whether theſe pretended Governors of the Church, the Popiſh Prelates and Cardinals, abounding in all manner of Pride, Pomp and Luxury, can by any ſober Mind be Deemed the Rightful Succeſſors of Chriſt and his Apoſtles, who all did ſo oft Recommend Self-Denyal and Humility, &c.

To this, in ſhort, I ſhall Anſwer, with a Story that I have Read many Years ago, and which I have lately met with in the Hiſtory of Cardinals, pag. 46. The Author of Nipotiſmo di Roma, (wherein he ſhews how Sedulous every Pope is to promote his Nephews or Baſtards) Relates the Matter of p. 37Fact thus, being both an Eye and an Ear-Witneſs thereof in Perſon himſelf, ſaying, I Remember a certain Sermon I heard in a Covent in Rome, and in the preſence of Two Cardinals, (it may be our Odeſchalcho was one of them) and Cardinal Sacchetti was the other; The Preacher was a Bare Footed Franciſcan, who ſeem'd a poor pitiful Creature to look upon, yet geting into the Pulpit (on the firſt Sunday in Lent) in a very great Auditory, after an Ave-Maria, and Two or Three Cringes (as is uſual) with his Knee, riſing up again upon his Feet, and pulling his Cappuce or Cowle upon his Head, down almoſt over his Eyes, he pauſed a while (in this poſture) without ſpeaking a word, and fixing his Eyes ſtedfaſtly upon the Cardinals that ſtood before him, without Naming any Text at all, he breaks out abruptly into theſe words, [St. Peter was a Fool, St. Paul was a Fool, all the Apoſtles were Fools, all the Holy Martyrs, all the Primitive Saints of the Church of Jeſus Chriſt our Redeemer, were Fools.]

The Cardinals were ſtrangely Stun'd with theſe words, and ſtood as Inſenſible as Two Statues, the People alſo, and I among the reſt, Admiring this unuſual Freak, were content enough to Attend the Attendency of it: The Fryar, after ſome ſmall ſilence p. 38(which he purpoſely did, to obſerve the Reſentments of his Auditory) began his Diſcourſe as followeth, [You that are Prelates, do not you believe, you ſhall be Saved? I know your Anſwer, Yes, Father Fryar, we do. And you People, you are certain of Paradiſe? without Doubt, you will ſay, Yes too. Yes, ſaith the Fryar, What, will Turning Night into Day, by Feaſting, Sporting and Luxury? Will Frequenting Play-Houſes, Whore-Houſes, and a Living in all manner of Debauchery, bring you [People] to Heaven?

As for you [Prelates,] Will your Wearing Purple aad Scarlet, Will your Glittering in Gold and Silver, Will your Riding abroad, and Carreeceing about in Gawdy Coaches, and when you come out of them, Will the having your Silken Trains carry'd after you in the Street, bring you to Heaven? Will your Spoiling the Walls of the Church, to Adorn the Walls of your Chambers, and will your Subtracting from Chriſt, to beſtow upon the World, bring you thithither? Would you Oh Romaniſts, be Saved in this manner? Is this the way to Salvation? which we are told is not a Broad but a Narrow Way.

Then certainly all the Apoſtles, and all the Saints of the Primitive Church might p. 39have been Saved in the ſame Way, as well as you; and then as certainly they were all Mad Men and Fools, to Wander up and down in Sheep Skins, and Goat Skins, being Deſtitute, and Afflicted, to Undergo the Hard Tryals of Cruel Mockings and Scourgings, yea, moreover of Bonds and Impriſonments, yet higher, they were Mad Men and Fools to be Stoned, to be Sawn Aſunder, to be Slain with the Sword, and to be Tortured and Tormented, not Accepting Deliverance, &c. Heb. 11.35, 36, 37, 38. If your Way be the Way to Heaven.

But the miſtake is on your part, Oh Romaniſts, They were all prudent and pious Men,, 'Tis You that are the Madmen and Fools, and not They. 'Tis You that propoſe a new way of Salvation to your Selves; which will beſt comport with your own Vanity and Villany, even ſuch a way, as is not onelyonly contrary to the Holy Goſpel, but to the very light of Right Reaſon alſo.

This ſingle ſtory is ſufficient of it ſelf, to Demonſtrate what kind of Succeſſours theſe Cardinals (and amongſt the reſt our Odeſchalcho) are to the Apoſtles, The pattern and the portraiture do correſpond like Harp and Harrow, which made the Italian Painter Draw the Pictures of Peter and Paul, with a very deep Tincture of a Red Vermilion p. 40Colour in both their Complexions, and when ſome Cardinals blamed him for putting an Abuſe upon their holy Predeceſſours (to Limn them more like Good Fellows, who had been taking a Cup of Nims, a little too much of the comforting Creature) He Smartly yet Modeſtly Anſwered, No, Gentlemen, you miſtake my Genuine meaning, for there you may behold thoſe two Holy Apoſtles no other than Bluſhing at you their ſuch Unholy Succeſſours.

I ſhall conclude this Paragraph with that ſtrange Prayer of a Proteſtant Divine upon his Reading a Gazet, who there found, how in the Vacancy of the Roman See, ſome Cardinals were conſulting, that the next Pope when Created, ſhould be bound to diſcard his Nephews, thoſe Suckers of the Churches Treaſure. He Zealouſly Ejaculated this ſhor, but pithy, Petition, ſaying, [God Almighty Remove theſe good Thoughts out of the Minds of theſe Cardinals, for the Scandal of their Church, are the Edification of ours, and Diſturbances amongſt them, gives a Sweet Repoſe to us: Hiſtory of Cardinals, pag. 132.

Suitable to that before, is this, that which followeth after. Another Divine Diſcourſing with Cardinal Odeſchalcho's Chaplain, and asking him what he was, he Anſwered, I p. 41am a Prieſt, and pray you, ſaith the Miniſter, what is your Maſter whom you Serve, Oh Sir (quoth he) 'tis my Lord Cardinal: Go to then, ſaid the Enquirer, pray what is your Work? Oh Sir (ſaith he) I Say Service in my Lords Chappel; Say Service, (ſaith the other) then you are not ſo good as an Horſe or an Aſſe, for both theſe dumb Creatures doe Service, and doing Service is better than Saying Service: but the Diſcourſe ended not here, the Opponent, a little too Pragmatical, muſt ask ſome more Queſtions, being too much Queſtion-ſick, further, ſaying, I pray you Sir, who gave to you the Name of Prieſt, and to your Maſter the Name of Lord Cardinal, ſeeing St. Paul Names no ſuch Offices among the Officers of the True Church? Epheſ. 4.11. The Reſpondent Replys, Oh Sir, Our Holy Mother the Church gave to me the Name of Prieſt, and to my Maſter the Name of Cardinal. Upon this, the Queſtioniſt makes this brisk Repartee, ſaying, [God Almighty Bleſs me with my Fathers Name, for all that Bear only their Mothers Name, (as you ſay, You and your Lord do) be no better than Baſtards, or if you will have it in a cleaner Dreſs, that is to ſay, the Popes Nephews: But enough of this Facetious Diſcourſe.

p. 42Now 'tis High time to take a more particular View of our Odeſchalcho, whom we have Characteriz'd but little as a Cardinal hitherto, ſeeing our main Deſign is, to give him a more Ample Character as Pope, where the Myſtery of Iniquity muſt be more fully opened in a large Field of Diſcourſe.

As John the Divine gives a Graphical Deſcription of the Picture of his Double Beaſt in general; how He gradually Roſe, both out of the Earth, and out of the Sea, Revel. 13.1, 11. So my preſent Task is to Limn to the Life the very Perſon of this preſent Scarlet Colour'd Beaſt, the Pope in particular, ſhewing, Firſt, How he roſe up Step by Step to the Pontifical Chair, into which this our Cardinal Odeſchalcho was Uſher'd with abundance of Pompous and Solemn Ceremonies: 'Tis indeed an uſual Saying, That Ceremonies are but Indifferent things; yet this is a moſt certain and Tryed Truth, (to the great Detriment of many, much Damnified hereby) that though Ceremonies be in truth but things Indifferent to Salvation, yet Experience (the beſt School-Miſtreſs) Teacheth, they are things Neceſſary to Preferment. None can Climb up (not Jacob's, but) Antichriſt's Ladder, ſave ſuch as have the Cheveril Conſcience of p. 43a Latitudinarian, who can ſtretch out and Gape wide as the Greedy-gut once did, (in his Eating a Fiſh Dinner) who ſwallowed down Bones and all, till he had like to have been Choaked: We muſt ſuppoſe our Odeſchalcho had a Throat wide enough, he was not at all ſo Scrupulous as the preciſe Ones among us, but could Gulp down any Romiſh Ceremony (though never ſo Corrupt and Unſcriptural) provided it might but give him an Hearty Lift into the Seat of Infallibility: 'Tis as much beyond Queſtioning, as the moſt Received Maxim in Phyloſophy, That ſuch as are moſt Defective in their Morals, are moſt Zealous to ſupply it with abundance of Ceremonials: How far this our Odeſchalcho was Deficient in Morality, let the Author of the Scarlet Gown (his own Countrey-man, the Italian) be heard to ſpeak, His Relation Runs thus, Benedetto Odeſchalcho was a very Rich Prelate, who a long time Courted Don Baerberino for preferring him to be Clerk of the Chamber, which place he was Ambitious of, (that he might be the better Acquainted with all the Grand Intrigues of the Conſiſtory) and which the Don had promiſed him upon his paying down upon the Nail a Round Sum of Money for it: But finding that his Purchaſe proved nothing, ſave p. 44only a company of Court Complements, and that this Crooked-back Don Antonio dealt but Crookedly with him, in making the Fool fain with Fair Words without Deeds, he (being weary'd with a little ſprinkling of Court Holy Water only,) began to think of the Proverb too late, That a Fool and his Money is ſoon parted: He hereupon Reſolves to take new Meaſures, and to try whether (againſt, and to Confute all Gramer Rules,) the Faeminine Gender might not prove more Worthy than the Maſculine, and whether the Gray-Mare might not prove the better Horſe; ſo makes he his Application to that Famous Strumpet, that Imperious Jezabel, Siſter in Law, &c. to Pope Innocent the Tenth, Don Olympia, wherein 'tis Remarkable, that he deals in both with the Dons, and with the Greateſt Dons too, the one an Ambitious, and (as to the Court Faction in Rome) a very Potent Cardinal; but the other (when he ſhifts his Sails unto, and makes his Second ſhift) was no leſs than an Omnipotent Creatreſs; for ſhe could Create what Cardinals and what Popes ſhe pleaſed, with her Irreſiſtible Charms: No wonder then, if, when at a loſs, he falls upon this new Expedient, and Turns Don Antonio into Don Olympia, yea Turns from the former to the latter, as being better p. 45furniſhed with Conveniences for him: he now thought it nothing ſo Commodious to Court a Lord, as to Court a Lady, eſpecially One ſo Accompliſhed both with an Almighty Power, and with a Bewitching Beauty.

Et ſi qua latent, Meliora putat, Ovid.

Was not this a Brisk Madam, and well worth a Prelate, yea a Cardinals Courting: The Subſtance of this Account, (though here dreſs'd up in other Language) may be ſeen in the Scarlet Gown Author, pag. 21. who ſays further, That this Benedetto Preſented this Lady with Rich Love-Tokens, wherewith at length he Got into Her—Favor: But above all (ſaith the ſaid Italian) with One Amourous Bribe more than Ordinary, and moſt to be Remarked; which matter (as that Author Relates it) was manag'd after this manner, Our Odeſchalcho, going one Day (as he did often) to pay his Reſpects to this his Lady Don Olympia, about the Coronation of her Brother in Law Pope Innocent the Tenth, a Goldſmith came at that very time, and ſhewed Her a very fair Cupboard of Rich and Modiſh Plate to Sell, and perhaps prompting the Lady to Buy it, as conducing p. 46much to the Grace and Honour of that Great Days Solemnity: Olympia Vieweth it thorough and thorough in the preſence of this Odeſchalcho (Her Paramour) and other Lords, and no doubt had more than a Months Mind to it, but how to compaſs it without her own Coſt and Coin, was her preſent Project, in order to this, She firſt highly commends every Veſſel by it ſelf, both Mettal, Workmanſhip and Luſtre, and then all in the whole, ſaying, It was a goodly and curious Cupboard of the New Faſhion'd Plate, but ſhe was a Poor Widow (ſhe ſhould have ſaid, a Rich Harlot) ſo pretending ſhe was not able to Purchaſe it; laſtly, upon this ſhe withdraws immediately to her Chamber, leaving the By-ſtander Odeſchalcho (who admired all for her ſake) to make out ſome better proof (than yet he had done in all his former Gifts) of his Cordial Affections to Her. This Prelate, being but (as the ſame Author calls him) a Man of mean Undeſtanding, was the more eaſily Inſnared with the wily Wit of a Woman, which, at a pinch, doth uſually exceed that of a Man (who Requires more Deliberation) even of ſuch as have deeper Reaches and Capacities than our ſhallow Odeſchalcho: Hereupon, under this ſuddain Surprize, he p. 47calls the Goldſmith to him, Asks the Price of the Plate, 'twas below his Honour in his Amorous Expectations to bid him lower than was Asked, he paid down Eight Thouſand Crowns for it, and without more Adoe, ſent it in to the Lady, as a Preſent from Him, to her in her Chamber, that this Gift (as Solomon ſaith) might make Room for himſelf thither alſo: Don Olympia was ſo Tranſported (both with the Succeſs of her Craft, and with the Poſſeſſion of ſo much Plate, all coſting her Nothing, ſave only Caſting a Figure about a Credulous Fool,) that Immediately ſhe went to the Pope where ſhe was Domina, Faec totum, and whether ſhe had free Acceſs Night and Day, See Scarlet Gown, pag. 81. at the bottom,) Begs of him for Odeſchalcho, not only the Clerkſhip in the Chamber, but ſoon after a Scarlet Gown alſo. How far this She-Don Help'd him with her Hand (if not in Perſon, yet by Proxy) into Peters Chair, I know not, 'tis enough to know here that Odeſchalcho's Familiar Converſe with this Famous Woman, but Infamous Whore, gives Ground enough to beleive, that He was Defective in Morals, and therefore was under a Neceſſity to Eeek that out with Ceremonials: No wonder then, if ſuch a Man of Immorality ſhould become (as it were) a p. 48very Compound of Ceremony: His Election to the Chair conſiſted of Ceremony; his Coronation in the Chair conſiſted of Ceremony; but above all, his whole Worſhip and Devotion in the matters of Religion conſiſteth of Ceremony; only a Word or Two as a Byblow upon this laſt, it being beſide the Scope of our preſent Deſign. This preſent Popes Worſhip is drawn forth in ſuch an Antick and Pedantick Dreſs, ſo far from the Simplicity of the Goſpel, that no thinking Mind can look upon Popery to be any better than Foppery, ſure I am, the Romiſh Church is far paſt her Meridian, ſeeing ſhe can ſcarce be now ſeen for the length of her own Shadow, the Shadows of her Evening are ſtretched out, in turning Doctrine into Sophiſtry, and Diſcipline into Ceremony, and though the Hedg of her Ceremonies may favourably protect Carrion-Crows, yet is it pricking and Vexatious enough to harmleſs Doves.

But to Wave that in this place, and come to that Compound of Ceremonies, manag'd by a Maſter of Ceremonies, at the Election of this preſent Pope: No ſooner was his Predeceſſor, Pope Clement the Tenth Dead, (for though the Keys of Heaven, Hell and Purgatory, hang at the Popes Girdle, yet there's the Miſchief, the Key of the Grave p. 49was by ſome Miſhap or other drop'd from it, otherwiſe the Pope had been equally as Immortal as Infallible,) but the Congregation of Cardinals (having Nine Mornings after his Death Sung Dirges for the Repoſe of his Soul, and preparing themſelves with Holy Water, Incenſe, &c.) did all Repair to the Conclave, and with them Two Maſters of Ceremonies, and the Secratary of the College, &c. were all cloſe ſhut up together, in order to Elect a New Pope: Then Proceſſions came Thick and Threefold from all Churches and Monaſteries, Singing, [Veni Creator, &c. Come Holy Ghoſt, &c.] Round about the Conſiſtory, Imploring the Inſpirations of the Spirit to come upon the Cardinals: The firſt Step or Ceremony, was, The Three chief Cardinals of the ſeveral Orders, with the Cardinal-Chamberlain, took an Exact Survey of all the parts of the Conclave to ſee that all be cloſe, and ſhut up on all ſides, as if they would ſhut out the Holy Ghoſt from coming among them; for upon the Death of Pope Clement the Fourth, when the Conclave could not agree (being divided and Rent in pieces by the Feuds and Factions of the French and Spaniſh Intereſt) about the Election of a Succeſſor, one of the Cardinals (perhaps ſuppoſing that they were p. 50too cloſe ſhut up in the Conclave,) Cryed, You muſt Order the Uncovering of the Roof of the Conſiſtory, to make way for the Holy Ghoſt to come down upon us: The Conclave puts ſo much ſtreſs upon this ſame Ceremony, that not ſtrictly to obſerve it, is a Nullity of the Election.

The Second Ceremony at the Election of this Pope, was, The Maſter of the Ceremonies, (after a Recital of the Cardinals Priviledges, which each Swore to Obſerve, in caſe he were choſen Pope,) Rings a Bell and calls them all to Maſs, at which they Sang the Hymn, [Veni Creator Spiritus,] and the Prayer of the Holy Ghoſt, to Implore His Illumination upon them: But I am afraid they could not find one Promiſe to ground their Prayer upon, for the promiſe of the Spirits coming is only to thoſe that Seek him in Spirit and in Truth, and that are found in Due Order, and not in ſuch Diſorders as Uſually attend the Conclave, which once gave occaſion to an Old Cardinal of Sicily, (who, after long Abſence, coming to a Popes Election, and finding nothing but Animoſities, Factions and Fractions among them,) to complain, ſaying, Num ad Hunc Modum fiunt pontifices Ro…a…s? &c. I expected that fervent Prayers, as in Times of Old, ſhould have p. 51procured ſome fit Man to be pointed out by the Holy Ghoſt to us for a Vicar of Chriſt, but (ſaith he) If promiſing Rewards for Penſionary Votes, If Cajoling, Curſing and Threatning Revenge be your way of Canvaſing your Elections, then farwel for me, and ſo the good Old Man Returned Home to his Countrey, and could never be perſwaded to ſee Rome any more.

The Third Ceremony, was, To Elect a Pope by Scrutiny, (waving the Two other ways of Inſpiration or Compromiſe,) which they thus managed, Each Cardinal hath a Liſt of all the Cardinals Names given to him, he Wrote down in a peice of Paper, whom he would have choſen, went to the Altar, puts his Scroll into the Golden Chalice ſtanding thereupon, and ſo Return'd to his place, when all had ſo done, the Prims Biſhop took out all the Papers, delivered them to the Prime Deacon, who unfolded them all, and without mentioning the Elector, Read aloud the Names of the Elected: The Prime Prieſt Reckoning the Voices, pronounced the Majority of Votes to fall upon Cardinal Odeſchalcho: Hereupon he Rang a Silver Bell, and a Pan of Coals was brought in, and all the Paper Billets, wherein the Names of all the Cardinals were Written, were Burnt.

p. 52Good God, How far the Ancient Church of Rome is now Run from the Primitive Pattern? How far is that Church at this Day Run a Whoring? more like Babylons Whore, than Sions Spouſe, who both Ask'd and Received Directions from the Bleſſed Bridegroom, how ſhe might follow the Footſteps of Chriſts (not Antichriſts) Flock: I would gladly Ask of any Man, how many of theſe (and many more, for Brevity, omitted) ſilly Apiſh as well as Popiſh Tricks and Trinkets, were put into practice at the Election of St. Matthias into Traiterous Judas's Biſhoprick and Apoſtleſhip, Act. 1.20. to 26. The pure Simplicity of that Primitive Ordination makes our Pope Innocent the Eleventh look more like an Unholy Apoſtate, than any Holy Apoſtle, whoſe Succeſſor he yet preſumes to be Reckoned, who in Truth is rather a Succeſſor of Judas in betraying Chriſt, as he is the Antichriſt, than any of the Holy Apoſtles, who were fervent followers of the Sacred Footſteps of their Sweet Saviour, and who Commands us to follow them no farther, than they follow Chriſt, 1 Cor. 11.1. They make that Holy Child Jeſus the Regula Regulans, or Rule Ruling, and themſelves only the Regula Regulata, the Rule Ruled, they would not have us to follow the Dark Side of the Cloud of Witneſſes, p. 53as the Aegyptians did, and were Drowned, but the White-ſide thereof, as the Iſraelites did, and were Saved. Neither do we ever find that St. Peter paſs'd under thoſe Comick and Theatrical Ceremonies when called to his Apoſtleſhip, or ever ſo Prefer'd or Enrich'd any of his Nephews or Baſtards, as the Pope (his pretended Succeſſor) doth now.

The Fourth Ceremony wherewith this preſent Pope had his Pompous Inauguration at his Election, was, Still more like Apoſtatical, than Apoſtolical, to wit, No ſooner was the Majority of Votes (even Two parts of Three) acknowledged to fall upon our Cardinal Odeſchalcho, through the Almighty Influence of his Old Grateful as well as Humble Servant, Don Olympia, who could not, with either Honour or Advantage, ſo ſoon forget her Stately Cupboard of curious Silver Plate, well knowing, her laſting Gratitude to Him would be an Encouragement to others in that Court, to make their Addreſſes in the ſame manner to Her. No ſooner (I ſay) was this Odeſchalcho owned to be the Pope Elect Duely, though never ſo Factiouſly and Surreptitiouſly; but preſently the Wicket, or rather Wicked Hole (well call'd the Golden Door, through which the Hungry Cardinals Receive all their p. 54Meat, as well as Air, during their, ſometimes, long Confinement,) was then broken open, at which ſtood an Infinite Number of Poor People, on whom this New Pope beſtowed his Papal Benediction, and to whom He Remitted all their Sins. The Formality of opening this Golden Door, was thus Obſerved, This New Pope came with a Golden Mallet in his Hand (all He meddles now with muſt be Gold,) His Silver Age is now turned into a Golden One, his Silver Cupboard of Plate before purchaſed, is now turned into a Golden Door, and into a Golden Mallet, yea, better than all this. Here was, by Vertue of the Philoſophers Stone, a Silver, or rather a Leaden, or Copper Cardinal (as Odeſchalcho ſignifies) into a more Illuſtrious and Golden Pope. With this Golden Mallet he ſtrikes at the Golden Door, which while He was in Doing, there were Workmen Ordered without to Break it open, which done, all the Chips, Stones, Duſt and Dirt, (that fell from this Golden Gate, while it was in opening,) are gathered up, and preſerved as the choiceſt and moſt Ineſtimable Relicks; and as to the Golden Mallet which this New Pope held in his Hand, He Nobly gave to Cardinal Sforza (according to Cuſtom) who was his great Crony and Correſpondent, ofteneſt p. 55in his Company, and eſpecially in moſt Grace and Favour with him, for Lending him ſuch an effectual Lift into Peters Chair. Now let any Man of a Sober Mind Judg, what kind of Succeſſor this preſent Pope is to Poor Peter in his Chair; the Apoſtle Peter ſaith of himſelf, [Silver and Gold have I none,] Act. 3.6. But this Pope (his pretended Succeſſor) hath Silver for himſelf, and for his Olympia too, yea, and a Golden Mallet to give away, &c. Simon Peter Rejected Simon Magus, when he would have Hired of him the Gift of Miracles, Asts 8.19, 20, 23. whereas this Pope will do nothing without Ready Money. St. Peter paid his Tribute to Temporal Princes, even at his Lord Chriſts Command, both for himſelf and for his Maſter, Matth. 17.24. to the laſt; But this Pope (being Antichriſt) Scorns any ſuch Diſgraceful Motion, No, 'tis below his Unholy Highneſs to pay One Penny; he Received not Peters Patrimony upon any ſuch Ignoble Terms: The Law of the Land, ſaith, That a Mans Heir is Obliged to pay the Debts, and to perform the Duties of the Inheritance, otherwiſe the Heir is Diſinherited, and the Inheritance Divided among the Creditors: But the Popes Canon-Law ſaith, Peters Keys of Authority, with all the Profits and Emoluments, belong p. 56to the Pope, who holds them faſt in his Hand; but as to his Key of Doctrine, wherein He Taught Univerſal Subjection to Secular Governours, is a Duty no way Incumbent upon Him; theſe are great Incumbrances to Popes, and would be unſupportable Burdens to our Sacred Inheritance▪ Yet in this the Pope likes well enough to Imitate his Predeceſſor Peter in, He dearly loves to Catch with his Angling Rod ſuch Fiſhes in his Sea or See, as have a peice of Silver in their Mouths, Matth. 17.27. and it will do no Harm, if now and then a peice of Gold be found there alſo, for then will he be furniſh'd with Materials, not only for a Silver Cupboard of Plate, but likewiſe for making his Golden Doors, and his Golden Mallets.

The Fifth Ceremony ſhould have been, When the Golden Door was opened, He ſhould have proceeded to the Porphiry Chair, the Chair of Exploration, where the Youngeſt Cardinal-Deacon ſhould have Examined Things and Things. But this Cuſtomary Ceremony is now a Days Antiquated as Superfluous and Unneceſſary, ſince commonly thoſe Popes that have been lately Elected, had given ſufficient proof by their Baſtards of their Virility, and that they were known beforehand to be of the Right Maſculin Gender, and indeed I think p. 57it need not be much Doubted, but rather than fail, rather than this Pope ſhould have this trouble given him, Don Olympia her ſelf might have come in with her Teſtimony, and have aſſured them Viva Voce, they might undoubtedly ſpare the Labor of Exploration, for ſhe hath had ſome Experimental Knowledg (which is the Beſt) of his Manhood and Gallantry. And now, when I think of it, I cannot but Imagine this Groping Chair a very ill adviſed Injunction, however upon this Account, That whereas the Romaniſts do uſually Stile their Head, The Lord God their Pope, now if as they ſay, He be indeed a God, they do but Debaſe him (if not Ungod him) in Trying whether be be a Man: Methinks the Words of Chriſt, with but a little Variation, might ſerve the pretended Vicar of Chriſt: as the Lord did Evidence the Truth of his Reſurrection, by ſaving, [If I be a Spirit, I ſhould not have Fleſh and Bones,] Luke 24.39. So this Vicar might give a Repulſe to his Gropers, by ſaying, [If I be a God, I ſhould not have Manly Members.] There is only this Difference, Chriſt was willing to be Handled, but his Vicar is unwilling, unleſs by Olympia, therefore this Rude Ceremony was Omitted.

But the Sixth Ceremony (and ſo many there muſt be to comport ſtill with the number p. 58of the name of the Beaſt, 666.) is a Ceremony of Ceremonies, So it ſupplies the late omiſſion of the fifth by way of Redundancy: for this introduceth all the Splendour and Grandeur of his prime Proceſſion, Conſecration, Coronation, &c. (1) His firſt Proceſſion after his Election was thus pompouſly managed: this great Man, or rather, this great God was mounted upon Mens ſhoulders in the moſt ſplended Equipage imaginable, ſuch as Solomon in all his Glory was never Arayed with (for you muſt ſuppoſe this Pope to be the goodly Lilly, or rather the glorious and gawdy Tulip, that our Lord ſpeaks of Matt. 6.28, 29.) However ſuch as neither Chriſt himſelf (who was greater than Solomon, Matt. 12.42.) nor much leſs his Apoſtle Peter (whoſe Succeſſour this Pope pretends to be) ever took upon them the like prodigal and pompious Grandeur. This Pope was now Arayed in Scarlet Robes, Furr'd with Ermines quite through, and Adorned with the Richeſt Gold and Silver Laces, there was placed upon his Head a moſt glittering and glorious Tripple Crown of Gold, and a moſt Rich Collor of Gold all curiouſly Enameld with the choiceſt Jewels and chiefeſt precious Stones: there were put into his Hands two Golden Keys (pretended to be the ſame, that Chriſt gave to Peter, and that Peter at his Death bequeathed p. 59to the Popes ſucceſſively) which are for opening and ſhatting the Gates of Heaven (a place where Himſelf is never like to come) for whom he pleaſeth: and over his Head was carried a moſt ſtately Canopy with lofty, flying, and moſt gawdy Streamers, and He Himſelf under it moſt Trim, with his Artificial Locks finely curl'd and powder'd with a Vaſt Tower or Fruz upon his Forehead (in the very Dreſs of the Myſtical Whore) and in all this Antick Dreſs and Pedantick Pageantry, this Pope was preſented to the people, who (together with his Page) made thereupon loud Acclamations: [Vive le Papa, Vive le Papa] all along as He made his Progreſs to Peters Chair: mark here, while this Apocalyptick Beaſt was thus mounted upon Mens ſhoulders, He was then carried like a Conquerour, who had now made a compleat Conqueſt over the whole Conclave of his Fellow-Cardinals, and now had ſtoutly Stormed (in deſpight of all fraud and force, yea, of Fate it ſelf) the pontifical Chair, and in this poſture He was not onelyonly like King Saul, who was higher by the Head and ſhoulders than all the People, but alſo as a mighty Nimrod, who was to Trample them all under Foot, His Feet ſtanding as high as their Heads: but the moſt ſignificant Ceremony in his paſſage from the Golden p. 60Hatch or Wicket, to his Chair of State, was this, a lump of Flax was carried before Him Burning, whereat theſe words were proclaimed.

—Sic Tranſit Gloria Mundi.

'Tis the Prayer of prudent and pious Proteſtants, that an happy Blaſt may deſcend from Heaven to blow out for ever all this Antichriſtian Glory. Even ſo Amen & Amen.

Thus was he brought to his Chair of State, which was likewiſe covered with Scarlet, all richly Embroidered, Fringed round about with a Gold and Silver Silk Fringe, and gloriouſly bedeckt with Golden Balls and Croſſes, and which was placed upon as Lofty and as Coſtly a Throne as was that of Solomons, 1 Kings 10.18. Thither was he brougt upon Mens ſhoulders, and when gently taken down (for fear of hurting the good old Man) there was He ſeated, there was He conſecrated, and there was He crowned, &c. when all this ſolemnity is accompliſhed, then His Herald (dreſſed up in a Garb comporting with the Pomp) proclaims by ſound of Trumpet, His great Lord and Maſter, to be now [the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords] and as if that were not ſufficient, He had his Paraſites p. 61prepared to cry loud [God Bleſs our Lord God the Pope] Thus He, who trode under foot onelyonly the People before, muſt now trample upon the Necks of Kings and Emperours, Inſtance onelyonly in poor Emperour Frederick, who was conſtrained to lay ſprawling under the proud Popes Feet, on whoſe Neck He inſolently trampled at Venice: 'Tis therefore one part of this Pompious Magnificency, that this Magnifico hath two Swords ſtanding erect by his Chair of State at his right Hand, to denote, that not onelyonly the Sword of Excommunication, but alſo the Sword of Civil Dominion belongs to him alſo: To ſay nothing of the number of Gawdy Beads, Agnus Deis: and abundant more Romiſh Trumpery expoſed to publick View, for the better ſetting off the Solemnity of his Inauguration: I think 'twas about well, that, together with his Title aforementioned, this alſo [God of Gods.] was not ſuperadded, ſo exalted Him above the moſt High God, as well as over all Lords, Kings, and Emperours. The Roman Canon and Ceremonial Law commands the People to ſay at the Popes Inſtalment [thou art our God the Pope] and Pope Martin could calmly and complaiſantly receive the Complement of the Sicilian Embaſſadour ſaying [thou art the Lamb of God, that takeſt away p. 62the ſins of the World] ſo was this, but to declare to all the World, that it is He who ſits in the Temple of God, exalting Himſelf above all that is called God, if not above the true God Himſelf, the Pope dare diſpence with, if not diſanul or contradict the Law of God: Sure I am, never did any mortal Man look more like proud Lucifer (who ſaid ero ficut Altiſſimus, I will be like, If not above, the moſt High, Iſa. 14.14.) than this preſent proud Pope in his pontificalibus expoſed to View with all thoſe Additional Formalities did go, all which, yet one more muſt ſtill be added, to wit, the change of his Name, his old Name [Odeſchalco the Cardinal muſt be turned into Innocent the 11th. How Nocent this Innocent was, the ſequel will demonſtrate. Yet follows he the Pattern of Bocea di Porco or Hog-face, who was the firſt Pope that changed his Name, thus when his Succeſſours were Cowards, they muſt be called Leo, if he were a Tyrant, called Clement, if a Ruſtick, Urbanus though never ſuch a Turbanus, or trouble World: If an Athieſt then Pious. So if never ſo obnoxious, or Nocent then it muſt be Innocent. The Popes of theſe later Years have been generally ſhort lived, to Inſtance onelyonly in a few of the laſt Edition, Cardinal Chigi was Elected Pope, in the year 55. April the p. 637th., call'd himſelf Alexander the 7th, one troubleſome enough to the Church, &c. He ſoon trips off (Whether from the goodneſs of God or his own good Nature, I ſhall not ſay) gave up the Ghoſt, and Reſigned up the Chair to Cardinal Roſpiglioſs, who ſucceeds him June 20th. by the Name of Clement the 9th, in the Year 67. The loſs of Candia afflicted him much more, than the burntng of London, and haſtened his Death in the Year 70. The Conclave being ſhut up above Four Months (a long time to be in the Dark, where they made day of Wax Candle, Having neither Windows nor Holes to let in light) at laſt had ſo much light as to Elect Cardinal Altieri, which was the doating Pope that Created our Cardinal Howard (who is after to be mentioned) and then Dyeth in the Year 76. having born the Name of Clement the Tenth. So gives place to our Cardinal Odeſchalco, &c. what a black Character they all bear in the Hiſtory of Cardinals, I muſt rather requeſt the Reader to obſerve it there than to expect it here; eſpecially of this preſent Pope Don Olympias grand Favourite: but above all, I wonder at that Iriſh Prophet Malachi (which Dr. Heylin mentioneth in his Coſmog. laſt Edition p. 106.) who lived in the 11th, Century, contemporary with Bernard, yet p. 64undertook to give an account of all the Popes from that time to this day, and this He doth by Symbols and Hierogliphicks, and omitting all others, as beſide our purpoſe that which is moſt remarkable, is the character, He ſo prophetically Impoſeth upon this preſent Pope Symbolically, and in an Hieroglyphick way plainly Stiles Him, Bellus In…atiabilis, an Inſatiable Beaſt, I have been thinking ſince I found it that this Malachi the Iriſh Prophet (not to meddle with his other predictions, &c.) hath Accommodated this character ſo congruouſly to this Odeſchalco, as if he had been the Jewiſh Prophet Malachi, who infallibly had the Infallible Spirit, what kind of Spirit (this Popiſh Saint, a Ceſtertian Monk, Arch-Biſhop of Dublin in Ireland) was endued with, is not eaſie to Determine, yet is there found ſuch an Admirable Harmony inter ſignum & ſignatum, the Perſon and the things do Symbolize to Aſtoniſhment, as Meſſingham, Buſſier, &c. do obſerve.

Conveni…nt Rebus Nomina Saepe Suis.

That this preſent Pope ſhould be pointed out (as by the Finger) to be an Inſatiable Beaſt, above Five Hundred Years before He was Born, muſt be acknowledg'd Mirabile p. 65Dictu. If ſeveral of the true Prophets of God did ſo Truly Foretel of Nebuchadnezzar, that He would Ariſe, and become Gods Battle-Axe to Hew down the Degenerate Generation of the Jews, bring them to literal Babylon, keep them Captive there for Seventy long Years, &c. And if ſeveral of the True Apoſtles of Chriſt did ſo Truly Foretel of Antichriſt, that he would Ariſe out of the Earth and out of the Sea, and become the Devils Patriarch to tread down the outward Court of formal Profeſſours, carry them Captive to Myſtical Babylon, keep them in Captivity for one thouſand two Hundred and ſixty long Years, &c. And both theſe, Some Hundred of Years before they both came to paſs: Why may we not call this ſtrange Prophet, (that thus long before foretold of this Individual preſent Pope, that he would Ariſe, and become an Inſatiable Beaſt) The Prophet Malachi the Second, notwithſtanding he was one of the Monkiſh Order, I cannot but Judg His Teſtimony is therefore ſo much the ſtronger, for 'tis a received Maxim [firmum eſt probandi Genus quod etiam ab Adverſario Sumiſur, quum Veritas etiam ab Inimicis Veritatis probari poſſit] 'tis the ſtrongeſt kind of proof, when the very Enemies of the Truth are conſtrained to bear Witneſs to it. Hereupon Ludovicus Vives de probabilitatis Inſtrumentis p. 66ſaith thus [Amici contra Amicum, & Inimici pro Inimico Invincibile Teſtimonium erit] which in plain Engliſh muſt thus be explained. The Teſtemony of a Papiſt againſt a Papiſt, and of a Papiſt for a Proteſtant is a Teſtimony without exception, and more Infallible than this Infallible Pope, againſt whom this Popiſh Monk, Malachi, beareth ſuch an undeniable Teſtimony, though his Friend as of the ſame Religion, yet Honours He Him with no better a Title, than that of an Inſatiable Beaſt.

The whole Scope of all the following Diſcourſe is no other than a Deſcent and Comment upon that Black and Beaſtly Brand, wherewith this Iriſh Prophet (Monk Malachi) Stigmatiz'd him with, ſo many Hundred Years before He was in Rerum Naturà, or had any Exiſtence: Now that He hath been ſo long in his preſent Being, and hath been Acting (like the Devils Patriarch) his Deviliſh part in the Tragedy upon the Theatre of the World, ever ſince September the Twenty-Firſt, in the Year Seventy Six, whereon He was Conſecrated and Crowned, &c. as above. Time is always the beſt Expoſitor of the moſt Abſtruce and Obſcure Prophecies; and what a full and perfect Expoſition Time it ſelf hath already made (and may hereafter make more) p. 67upon this very Text and Title of this Iriſh Prophet Malachi, concerning this Pope, is my Task I have before me to Demonſtrate.

Firſt, In General, That this preſent Pope is a Beaſt, is as plain, as if Writ with a Beam of the Sun upon a Wall of Marble. Seeing both the Prophet Daniel, and the Apoſtle John, do Unanimouſly call the whole Series of thoſe Roman Popes no better than Beaſts, yea, ſuch Beaſts as are beyond and above all Names, as in the Preface.

'Tis manifeſt enough even out of their own Authors (ſuch as Wrote the Lives of the Popes) How that many, if not moſt of them, were Men of Sin with an Accent; yea, Beaſts rather than Men; yea, even Monſters in Iniquity: See Dr. Heylin's Coſmog. pag. 106, 107, 108. of the laſt Edition, where you have a Black-Bed Roll of their State and Story, to the number of Thirty one, which is a lucky Number, call'd an even Hitter, and is ſaid, a Knave and One and Twenty, (or in plainer Engliſh, a Knave, that ſtands for ten [Knaves] and One and Twenty more (of the ſame litter, or letter) wins all at the Game of Noddy this Chriſtmaſs time, wherein The Knave foreign is turned up Trump with a witneſs: See alſo Neſs's Diſcovery of Antichriſt, p. 68pag. 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62. where you have a Compendious Landskip of but a few of the Popes Lives (all gather'd out of their own Roman Writers) to ſhew in ſhort, what Beaſts, what Monſters of Men they have been: And that this great Truth may be Compleatly Confirmed by the Mouth of even Three Witneſſes, See alſo Dr. Scalter in his Comment upon the Second of Theſſalon. pag. 115. where he ſaith, [If a Man may be ſo bold with the Pope, as John Baptiſt was with our Saviour (and why ſhould Chriſt be more Rudely Handel'd than Antichriſt) Asking, [Art thou He that ſhould come, or do we look for another?] The like Anſwer may moſt properly be Returned, [Go and Tell what you heard and ſeen, to wit, God is Contemn'd, the Devils are Worſhip'd, Religion is Prophan'd, Superſtition is Hallow'd, Beaſtly Luſt is Practic'd, and Parricide is not only Perpetrated, but Patroniz'd,] with much more Horrid Helliſhneſs thoſe [Parùm probi Homines] or Wicked Popes have done: Is not this the Man of Sin, the Apocalyptick Beaſt, the Matchleſs Monſter, Prophecy'd of in the Word, that ſhould come into the World and play Rex, and his Pranks in it: Now 'tis below this preſent Pope to be better than his Predeceſſors, He Scorns to Degenerate from the Worſt of them, chuſing rather to p. 69Imitate them, than Holy Peter. The Iriſh Prophet Stiles him a Beaſt, and Time hath proved him ſo. Our next Work is to ſhew him the Inſatiable One, for Craft and Cruelty.

The Epithet Inſatiable hath Variety of Acceptions, according to the Variety both of its Subject and Object. There be various Paſſions of the Mind of Man, that are Headſtrong, Extravagant and Inſatiable, whereby Man is turned into a Beaſt, as Thus,

Firſt, The Paſſion of Luſt, when it grows Unruly and Ungovernable, Tranſporting the Monk out of his Monaſtery into the Nunnery among the Nuns, or ſuppoſe the Man a Cardinal, or a Pope, when he is Exported out of all Bonds and Bounds of Temperance and Continency, his Unruly Luſt cauſeth him Rudely to break His Vow of Chaſtity, and He hereupon Applys himſelf to his common Curtezans, or Don Olympia's, then is the Beaſt truly Stiled Inſatiable. Or

Secondly, When that Paſſion of Bloud-Thirſtineſs hath the like prevalency over the Mind of Man, makes him as Savage, and as Bloudy-Minded as a Butcher or Beaſt, inſomuch, that He Delights to Wallow in the Bloud of others, yea, to be Drunk with p. 70the Bloud of the Saints (which is the Trick of the Beaſt,) then is the Beaſt Rightly Branded with being Inſatiable, and then 'tis High Time for good Proteſtants to put up this good Prayer, Lord, let this Drunken Inſatiable Beaſt, Spue and Fall, and never Riſe up any more. or

Laſtly, (To Omit other Exorbitant Paſſions and Affections of Mankind,) the Third Caſe is, When the Connatural Paſſion of Covetouſneſs hath got ſuch a Predominancy over the Mans Mind, that it Metamorphoſes him into a Muck-worm, yea, into a Mole, that Subterraneal Blind Creature, which lives altogether within the Earth (being Reſtleſs, as out of its Center, while out of it) and hath nothing to do with Heaven: Muſt Evermore have his Mouth and Claws full of Earth, when the Man will Extract Gain out of a very Dunghil, a Vaſt Revenue for Indulging Stews, and that as a Neceſſary Convenience, [Ad purgandos Renes] eſpecially in the Three Hot Months of the Year, when the Man doth practically approve of that Motto, [Lucri bonus eſt odor ex re quâlibet,] and that other too, [Lucrum ò Lotio eſt Optabile,] Theſe were the Old Symbols of ſome Great Men of Rome, who thought all Gain Sweet, though Got out of the Piſs-Pot, &c. And this p. 71Great Man of Rome is no Changling from them, He is for getting the Devil and all, with his Gain from all Quarters, Iſa. 56.11. and Micah 3.3. per Totum. Then alſo is the Beaſt Inſatiable, and upon this Third Account it is, that the Prophet Malachi the Second, aforeſaid, calleth in His Characters, this very Odeſchalcho (the preſent Pope) Bellua Inſatiabilis, as a late Learned Writer doth well Interpret it: Though this Beaſt of Rome hath been Inſatiable enough as is ſuppoſed, in the Firſt Caſe and Account of Inſatiability, when he look'd upon Carnal Concupiſcence with Romiſh Spectacles, and according to the Popiſh Doctrine, but a Peccadillo, a Trick of Youth, a Venial Sin; He had that Fleſh-pleaſing Circular ſaying, [Confeſs after Sin, Sin and Confeſs, in Infinitum,] in great Veneration, as a Sovereign Cure for a Popiſh Conſcience, and indeed, 'tis a wonder that all the World (which lays in Wickedneſs, 1 John 5.19.) will not eaſily turn Papiſts, that they may Sin, in Sins of all ſorts, with Peace, wherein they can Bleſs themſelves with Pardons prepared and to be Purchaſed: But to let that paſs, ſeeing the Jeſuits Rule, [Si non caſtè, tamen cautè] Anticipates Intelligence of ſuch Deeds of Darkneſs, till the Pond come to be Scowred again, wherein were found Thouſands of p. 72Infants Skulls, which, as it promoted the Deſtruction of Abbeys here, ſo in Time every where, yea, of Rome it ſelf, that Brothel-Houſe of Babylon. My Work at preſent is, to give him his due Character of an Inſatiable Beaſt in both the other Reſpects, with a little Tranſpoſition of the Third, (as coming next to Hand into the Seconds place) to wit, both as a Greedy and as a Bloudy Inſatiable Beaſt.

This Prophet Malachi (the Iriſh Monk) hath Divine Warrant to call this Pope an Inſatiable Beaſt, ſeeing the Prophet Iſaiah calls ſuch Prieſts (ejuſdem Farinae of the ſame Brann with this High Prieſt) Greedy Dogs, which can never have enough, Iſa. 56.10, 11. and though they were dumb Dogs and could not bark, yet could they bite well enough, perverting the Houſe of God for Prayer into a Den of Cut-Throat Thieves: How far this Pope hath been the Jewiſh Prophets Greedy Dog, and the Iriſh Prophets Inſatiable Beaſt, falls firſt in Order to Demonſtrate: ſo His moſt Eminent and Gainful Cheats, whereby he Gulls the ſilly People, do here follow.

He is (in the General) the Grand Impoſtor of the World, ſo the Pope was call'd by Doctor Morton Biſhop of Durelm many Years ago, whoſe Elaborate Book Diſcourſeth p. 73the many Legerdemain Tricks wherewith He deceiveth Nations, and all and only to pick their Pockets.

May we but be let in a little to behold the Bowels of this Grand Cheat, and View but a while his Guts and Garbage, 'twill ſoon be Diſcerned that he is the Devils Patriark, bearing upon his Bannet the Abomination of Deſolation: The time would fail to tell, How many Families this Abominable Beaſt hath made Deſolate: what elſe is the whole Cento and Fardle of Popery, but a Concatenation of Wiles to compaſs a purſe? What is the chief Deſign of this Balaam of Rome, but a continual conjuration for an Houſe-full of Gold and Silver? Witneſs his lying Legends, His Mock-Miracles, Praying for the Dead, and a Thouſand more nimble Tricks too tedious to enumerate, but above all, His Doctrine of Purgatory, The Fire whereof doth more effectually warm tke Popes Kitchin, than Torture any Soul He Damns into it. 'Tis a Cheat of Cheats: Methinks the Apoſtle Peter points at this Pope, (who pretends to be his Succeſſor) while he ſpeaks of ſuch, as through Covetouſneſs with feigned Words, do make Merchandiſe of Men, and when He names Balaam the Son of Boſor, who loved the wages of Iniquity ſo far, until the Dumb Aſs forbad the madneſs p. 74of the profane Prophet, yet He cannot paſs off without paſſing a Divine Doom, ſaying, whoſe Judgment now of a long time lingreth, and yet their Damnation ſlumbreth not, 2 Pet. 2.3.15, 16. How can it ſlumber long, when the cry of his cheating Tricks (together with that of Bloud) is gone up to Heaven to fletch down Gods Vengeance upon this Popes Head, and upon his whole Popedom: Let the Apoſtle Paul alſo Joyn Iſſue in this matter with his beloved Peter, (both which are repreſented Bluſhing, as before, at ſuch pittiful pretended Succeſſors) who ſaith likewiſe [as Jannes and Jambres withſtood Moſes, ſo do theſe the Meſſias, Men of corrupt Minds, and Reprobate concerning the Faith: But they ſhall proceed no further, for their folly ſhall be made manifeſt to all Men, as theirs alſo was, 2 Tim. 3.8, 9. Now what were Jannes and Jambres, but a couple of Gipſy or Aegyptian Coujurers, that cheated the People with their lying Miracles, &c. And ſuch have ſome of the Popes of Rome (that Myſtical Aegypt, Rev. 11.8.) been, &c. [Habemus Reos Confitentes] Popiſh Authors do acknowledg it, and did Moſes muzzle the Mouths, and made their Cheats manifeſt to all Men? How much more will the Meſſias (who is greater than Moſes, Heb. 3.3.) confound in due time p. 75this Grand Impoſtor. 'Tis impoſſible for any Man of a Sober Mind to think otherwiſe, eſpecially, If he caſt but a ſeeing Eye upon [Taxa Comerae Apoſtolicae] the Apoſtolical Chamber in the Vatican at Rome, where this Pope hath opend his Pedlars Pack, expoſed all his Vendible Commodities (for Romae Omnia Venalia) to the beſt Advantage of commending them to his Chapmans Eye, no Shop ſo well furniſhed, or affords ſuch a Tempting Proſpect in any of the Walks of the Royal Exchange Chambers, and that which gives the moſt Splendid and Decoying Luſtre is, there you have the Pope himſelf in his Grandeur, Courting in Cuſtomers, good Man, He dare not truſt his Vaſſals, a pack of Knaves, He hath found them long, wou'd go Snips with their Maſter, He ha's now Learnt by His Loſs. Keep the Shop Robin, and it will keep thee. There himſelf ſtands crying in the very Language of Folly (not of Wiſdom) who ſo is ſimple, let him turn in Hither, Prov. 9.16. He Cants in his Proſelytes with Pedlars Pedantick Oratory, Coying them in with come along my Cronies, my Soft Pates (for you muſt ſuppoſe He is of the ſame Sentiments with that Crafty Shop-Keeper, who once Boaſted, He would not ſell all his Children and Fools, his Cuſtomers, for ſome Hundreds of Pounds p. 76in the Year) come along my Corculums, look about you, Gentlemen, what lack you? Lo, here's a Gooſe-Giblet Pye, wherein every Palate may pleaſe it ſelf, what will ye buy? I am juſt now upon my laſt Legs, my long Leaſe of 1260 Years is now at its laſt Gaſp and Expiration, what, never a packing-penny among you all for a poor packing-off Pope: But are you Deſirous to know his Wares (all very Vendible to the Credulous, that never think of the Cheat) what are his Commodities in particular? I will tell you, where you have them all named, and we are not a little obliged to the Infallible Holy Ghoſt, that will take all the pains in giving us a Diſtinct Catalogue of all this Infallible Ghoſtly Fathers Commodities: He tells you, Rev. 18.12, 13. in Antichriſts Stately Shop, you may have for Ready Money [the Merchandiſe of Gold and Silver, precious Stones and Pearls, fine Lennen and Purple, all Silk and Scarlet, all Thyne or Sweet Wood, all manner of Veſſels of Ivory, all manner of Veſſels of precious Wood, of Braſs, of Iron, and of Marble; yet more, yea, and Cinnamon, Odours, and Ointments, yea, Frankincenſe, Wine and Oyl, yea, fine Flower and Wheat, yet more, there be Beaſts, and Sheep, and Horſes, (I wonder Aſſes are left out) and Chariots, and Slaves, (no doubt p. 77on't, but the greateſt Ware is behind) the Souls of Men.

Who will not ſay here [God bleſs us] what a Shop is this? So Capacious, and ſo Accommodated with all the choiceſt and chiefeſt Commodities, that this lower World can afford: Here's the Riches of both the Indies (Gold, Silver, and precious Stones thereof) Here's the Riches of all Countrys and Kingdoms, betwixt Eaſt and Weſt, North and South: Here's the very Quinteſſence and Compendium of Europe, of Aſia, of Africk, and of America: is not this the Grand Impoſtor, that even call'd for a packing-penny to a poor Pope, who hath ſo much of Treaſure, enough to ſerve himſelf and enough to ſell to others. But I wonder He expoſeth his Scarlet to Sale, Having ſo much uſe for it to Array the Scarlet Whore: as alſo that the Beaſt ſhould be a Seller of Beaſts, and above all, I wonder what price He ſets upon the Souls of Men: ſeeing our Lord Chriſt (who beſt knew the worth of Souls, becauſe He onelyonly went to the price of Souls) Valued one Soul worth the whole World, Matth. 16.26. Surely He muſt be the Antichriſt, who ſelleth Souls for Trifles: In a Word, ſurely, This Pope is Jack of all Trades: Here he is a Goldſmith, with his Gold and Silver, and it may be a Banker, p. 78I wiſh him to become a Bankrupt. Here he is a Jeweller, with his Pearls and Precious Stones. Here he is a Linnen-Draper, with his Fine Linnen and Purple, (I doubt He wants the Scotch-Cloth.) Here you have him a Silk-Man with his Silks of all ſorts, and fear not, but he has Satten (or Satan) enough. Here he is a Turner, that Sells all ſorts of Veſſels, wherewith he Turns, the World Upſide Down; this He effects by Veſſels of Wrath, but He Sells for Slaves the Veſſels of Mercy. Here you have him one while a Brazer with his Braſs; another while an Iron-Monger with his Iron; yea, ſometimes a Stone-Cutter, with his Marble, and why not a Tinker too, being a Kin to him, that inſtead of mending ſome Holes, made many more, yet was well paid for his pains. Here he is a Druggiſt, with his Cinnamon, Odours and Ointment, &c. not one Sophiſticated Drug amongſt them all. Here he comes as a Vintner with his Bottles of Wine to comfort the Heart, and his Cruiſes of Oil to Chear and Clear the Countenance; 'tis well if there be not a Tincture of the Wine of Sodom among Hands. Yea, rather than fail, He becomes a Corn-Chandler, affording you Wheat, either broken into Flour (with Bran enough in it) or in the whole Grain, but a little Muſty by laying p. 79in a bad Granary or Garner, the Apoſtolical Chamber. Yet lower, nay rather than ſit Idle, he will come as a Ruſtick Drover to Sell Beaſts, and Sheep, and Horſes, (well Mouth'd and Man'd all, and made as Tame as Aſſes.) And at laſt he comes as a Coach-Maker, who has his Charots to Sell, but have a care they carry you not to Purgatory inſtead of Abrahams Boſom. But to Crown up the Catalogue of all his Commodities, Note, that which we Read Slaves, doth fignifit [Bodies,] which he Sels for Slaves, and the Souls of Men too. And ſo Laſtly, he becomes a Body-ſeller, and (to make a thorough-whole-ſale Trade, a Soul-ſeller alſo. Let us all (with Moſes) turn aſide to ſee this great Wonder, ſure I am, never did Proteus turn himſelf into ſo many Shapes, never did any Jeſuit (this Popes Creature) Convert himſelf into ſo many Callings, as His Maſter is here Repreſented in. The Pope hath made a Monopoly of all Employs to himſelf, both in City and Country. And the greateſt Merchants Shop (whoſe Riches lay not there, but in the Warehouſe) cannot, though taken both together, be compared to the Apoſtolical Chamber. One coming into a Merchants Shop (I knew the Man, a Ruſtick Carrier) and ſeeing no Goods therein, Bluntly p. 80Asks the Apprentice (ſitting alone in the Shop) what was Sold there? the Malapert Youth Anſwered; We Sell Loggerheads, ſay you ſo, ſaith the Ruſtick, Then you have a Quick Market for them, ſeeing I ſee but One left in the Shop. There is no Danger of any Citizen or Countryman either Miſſing (what Wares he would be at) or Miſtakings of that Nature, for here's all things Expoſed to View. There is yet One Miſchief mention'd, Revel. 18.11. where (this Rich Shop is Inventory'd) that No Man Buyeth. His Merchandiſe any more: This will break him at laſt.

But let my Countrymen take theſe Two Cautions,

Firſt, Have a care of a Cheat in his corrupt Commodities: for he ſells them all in a very dark Shop, not ſuffering you to exerciſe your own Reaſon, you muſt take all upon his crack'd Credit, and comply with His price in an Implicit Faith, and in a blind Obedience you muſt believe what the Pope believes, and he is no ſuch Fool as to diſcommend his own Wares, He beſt Embraces Blindfold Buyers, Ignorance is the Mother of his Merchandize.

The Second Caution is, 'Tis dangerous venturing into this Apoſtolical Chamber, leaſt this Grand Cheat pick your pockets, for p. 81though his Wares be naught, being all for Impoſitions, He will impoſe them upon you, and he will not truſt you to the door for fear you give him the ſlip, He muſt have Ready Money paid down upon the nail.

Have a care you be not cox'd out of good Gold for bad Ware: And before you Saddle your Aſs to Ride down to this Arch Huxter in Myſtical Aegypt, let me beſeech you to conſider a little in your conſidering Cap, whither it were not far better for you, to make your Buying Bargains with Chriſt than with Antichriſt, for the former Invites Chapmen to buy his true Treaſure, unſearchable Riches, Gold Tryed in the Fire, Royal Robes of his own Righteouſneſs, the choiceſt Opthalmicks or Eye-Salve, the Waters of Life, the Wine of the Spirit, the Milk of Couſolation, &c. And all theſe without Money and without Price, Iſa. 55.1. Rev. 3.18. Eph. 3.8. Iſa. 66.11, &c. but the latter Wheadles ſimple ones (as above) to buy his Traſh and Trumpery, yet credulous Fools muſt part with much Money, and a prodigious price for them, &c.

But ſome may ſay, theſe Commodities of the Pope, as ſet down in the Catalogue under ſuch Glittering Titles, Rev. 18.12, 13. Gold, Silver, &c. look nothing like to Traſh and Trumpery: To this I anſwer, the Book p. 82of the Revelation is ſo Abſtruſe and Myſterious, that it requires another Revelation to unfold its Myſtery: I confeſs, I have conſulted ſome Learned Interpreters upon the place: But that which is Inſtar Omnium, and gives a None-Such Interpretation is the chief Auditor of the Apoſtolick Chamber in his Infallible Account Book.

Never did the profoundeſt Interpreter (no not the Accuteſt of their own Popiſh Poſtillers) make a plainer Explanation of any Dark Scripture, than this Popes Auditor General hath made of Rev. 18.12.13. All the Voluminous Quirks of the moſt Mercurial Jeſuits [Cajetan, Mendoza, Salmeron, &c.] are comparatively but Inſiped Stuff, and dull Deſcants to that one Auditors Record of the Romiſh Merchandiſe in this Popes Apoſtolical Chamber. Yea, the Chaldee Paraphraſe, or Onkeles (ſo much cry'd up in the World) is but a Jejune Piece to it. This is the Maſter Piece of all, wherein what be the Romiſh Pearls and precious Stones, &c. are made ſo Legible and Intelligible, that every common Capacity may both Apprehend and Comprehend the right Notion of them.

In that known Court-Rolls and Rate-Book, is Regiſtred, and made publick the common and current Price of a many choice and curious Commodities, as Pardons, Indulgences, p. 83Licenſes, Abſolutions, &c. whatever you have a mind to buy: Indeed the Crys of Vendible Wares in the Streets of London [will you buy this, &c. and will you buy that, &c.] are both [foreign and foreign] manifold and ſomewhat hard to be underſtood, eſpecially in ſome of the cryes: but the cryes and outcryes in the Streets of Rome, do far exceed the beſt of ours, yea that of Dainty Trotters, Curious Trotters: But they that have a mind to Trot to Rome, may There hear far better Crys, as this for one [will ye buy any Bodies, will ye buy any Souls of Men?] This is a Raree-Show Indeed, and ſuch a Tickling, Tempting-Cry, as will cauſe empty Houſes, who would not Run out (though the Pot be boiling upon the Fire, and the Spit turning at it) to ſee the Wonders of the Beaſt? Revel. 13.3, 13, 14. Who would not but deſire to be a Chapman for (at leaſt to Cheap) his Rare Commodities?

But becauſe it may ſeem a little below His Highneſs and Holineſs, to become a common Cryer, He hath learnt the Trick of our Nimble Quacks and Don Quick-Sots; as every common Quack and Mountebank, Prints now his Bills, Hands them out Gratis with much Generoſity, yet catches Children and Fools enough to pay for them; there p. 84you have ſet down, Elixir Vitae at ſo much, Elixir Salutis at ſo much, the Golden Spirit at ſo much, the Scurvy Spirit at ſo much, Sovereign Powder for ſo much, the Plaiſter, call'd All-Heal, for ſo much, and Twenty Rarities more (all Arcanums) none Attains to ſuch a Secret as himſelf; every thing Expoſed is good for all things, if but a Thumb-Bottle of his Liquor be Bought, 'twill Cure all Diſeaſes; if but a little of his Balſom be Applied, 'twill Heal all Wounds. What Madmen be theſe to be either Slain or Die in the midſt of ſo many Antidotes, &c. Yea, the Mountebank goes a little further, He comes forth Cum Regis Privilegio, makes Experiments upon himſelf, both in Stabbings and Poiſonings, Builds his Theatre, whereon he Expoſeth all his Cheating Tricks to Publick View, and when the Credulous come not in faſt enough to make their Markets there, his Merry-Andrew muſt Dance upon a Rope, play Twenty pretty Pranks (yet all the while more Knave than Fool) to Decoy them, and yet when all is done, few more than the Rabble are Caught in the Snare.

So this Grand Quack the Pope, and Maſter-Mountebank, Prints his Bills Cum Privilegio, commends to the Life his Curſed Wares, Acts all the parts of the former to p. 85a Threed, yet Advances upon an Higher Stage. And indeed, His Wares have a ſtrange Operation. If but a Thumb-Bottle of his Wine of Fornication be Drunk, it will ſtrangely Intoxicate even the Kings of the Earth. And his Jeſuits Powder will work Wonders.

But not to detain you in the Dark any longer, If you have a mind to be Cheated, or only to ſee his Cheats, you'l find his Printed Bills, Publiſh'd to the whole World with Antichriſts Arms ſtamp'd upon them, in his Taxa Camerae Apoſtolicae, where you have the Scarlet Whore's Adulterated Wares particularly Repreſented, both in their Species, Properties, Profits and Prices, yea, and there is Morſus Diaboli, the Herb call'd Devil-bit, to wrap them up in, caſt into the Bargain.

Take only an Antipharmacon, a Divine Allay and Preſervative, along with you, leaſt your Noſtrils be offended, and your Vital and Animal Spirits contract any Tincture of Contagion, while I am (to ſatisfie your Curioſity) but a little way Digging into this ſtinking Dunghil. I have good Warrant for this my good Work, in laying open the Cheating Abominations of this Scarlet Coloured Beaſt. As that Man of God, great Elijah could not tell how to Ridicule enough p. 86the Prophane Prieſts of Baal, 1 Kings 18.27. Much more may I Ridicule the Grand Maſter of them, and this cannot be better done, than by giving you but a brief Landskip of the Roman Merchandize, a bare Recitatim whereof is a ſufficient Refutation to any Sober and Right Thinking Mind.

The Apoſtolical Chamber Poſts up its [Si Quis, &c.] If any one want this or that Popiſh Trumpery, they may come and be welcome at this preſent Popes Ware-houſe, provided always they come with Money in their Hands, and come up to the current Price (by Canon-Law) of each Vendible Commodity: come along my Hearts, My Son, Give me thy Heart. You ſhall have Robin Hood Penniworths, enough for your Money in all Conſcience: becauſe you are all Friends, you ſhall all be very Kindly Uſed, and ſo Farewel.

A Schedule or Liſt of the Romiſh Wares, this Pope (the Lord of the Manour) Expoſeth to Sale by Inch of Candle, take as followeth,

Imprimis, He Expoſeth his Pick-pocketing Pardons of all ſorts and ſizes, and the Prices thereof (in ſome of them) are ſet down in Black and White upon the Popes Tables hung out to Publick View, or ſomething Equivalent. As▪

p. 87Firſt, A Pardon for the Third part of your Sins, equally Divided by Indifferent Perſons, for Seven Pound Ten Shillings, and if you would Buy off the other Two parts, 'twill Coſt you Two and Twenty Pound Ten Shillings, and a very Rich Penniworth.

Secondly, A Pardon for Forty Eight Years Sins, as you can Agree with this Innocent Pope; He is a very Innocent, you may poſſibly Wheadle him to your own Terms with Nuts and Apples, &c.

Thirdly, A Pardon for Two Thouſand Eight Hundred Years, confirm'd by Pope Paſchal the Firſt, by Boniface the Eighth, and by Gregory the Ninth, and now under a New Ratification by this Pope Innocent the Eleventh; this may be had Dog-cheap, only for ſaying a few very ſhort Prayers in the right Critical Hour, betwixt the Elevation of the Hoſt and Three Agnus Dei's, This would keep you out of Purgatory for a long time upon eaſie Terms.

Fourthly, A Pardon for Thirty Three Thouſand Years at a very low Rate, only for once going up a pair of Stairs, which, you muſt ſuppoſe, were the very ſame that Chriſt Aſcended, when he appeard before Pontius Pilate. Here's great Wages for a little Work; and he's a Fool in Grain, that will not Purchaſe ſuch a cheap Pardon for p. 88ſo long a Time, provided he may have general Warranty for ſecuring his Bargain till that Time be Expir'd; and much more of this Traſh, &c.

Item, Abſolutions of various Prices, according the Crime committed. As

Firſt, For Sacriledge, Ten Shillings and Six Pence.

Secondly, For Symony in a Prieſt the ſame Price, but in a Lay-Man the odd Eighteen Pence ſhall be Baited. Kindly done.

Thirdly, For Perjury, 'tis a Rich Penny-worth at Nine Shillings.

Fourthly, For Murder, If it be a Prieſt that is Kill'd, it cannot be Dear at one [Two Pence] more than a Mark, I would never be a Prieſt there, where my Life is no higher Valued. But you may Kill your Father, Mother, Wife or Siſter, &c. upon eaſier Terms, That ſhall but coſt you Ten Shillings and Six Pence.

Fifthly, For Adultery, Deflouring a Virgin goes at Nine Shillings, but Inceſt with Mother, Siſter, &c. is cheaper, paſſing at Seven Shillings and Six Pence. And the Whore that Deſtroys her Baſtard Child either before or after Birth, hath the ſelf ſame Sum to pay.

Sixthly, For Burning a Neighbours Houſe is Dog-cheap at Twelve Shillings; but for p. 89Burning Heretical Cities, 'tis ſeverely Puniſh'd with being Canoniz'd for Saints, &c.

Item, Licenſes for what you Liſt.

Firſt, If you be a Prieſt you may keep a Whore, paying only Ten Shillings and Six Pence; and if a Lay-Man it will coſt you no more; that the one may not Deride the other.

Secondly, A Licenſe to be Lazy, and to become an Abby-Lubber, and ſo to be Inutile pondus Terrae, Living there like Hogs in the Stie, unuſeful to Mankind, unleſs to the Wanton Nuns.

Thirdly, A Licenſe to be Licentious, and to have the liberty of the Stews the Three Hot Months of the Year, there is the Roman Recipe preſcrib'd (with Dr. Pope's probatum eſt) ad purgandos Renes. This Grand Quack, or great Mountebank, is Tender of his Proſelytes Health, Allows this Remedy (which God never thought of, when he ſaid, 'Tis not good for Man to be alone, Gen. 3.18.) to prevent his Popelings (under the Vow of Chaſtity) from falling into Acute Fevers, and to ſhew how good Natured he will be to them (Remembering it had been his own needful Priviledg and Practice) you may have theſe Two laſt Licenſes (both to be Lazy and to p. 90be Licenticus) Gratis. Gra-Mercy upon his Kind Heart, they ſhall not coſt you a Penny.

Fourthly, Yet a Licenſe to Eat Fleſh in Lent, will coſt you much more, for his Un-Holineſs Infallibly Judgeth this to be a far greater Sin than to keep a Whore. Yea, and many more Indulgences.

Item, Here you may have Holy Water Chymically prepared, Secundum Artem Diabolicam, for driving away the Devil, hence comes that Popiſh Proverb, to expreſs ſomething that is Hateful, [A Man loves it as well as the Devil loves Holy Water.] You muſt ſuppoſe, that Water which the Pope Conjures into the like Holineſs with his own, is able to Conjure away the ſtrongeſt Devil in Hell.

Item, You may have Holy Oil, compounded according to the ſame Art, only 'tis an Arcanum and Magiſterial. The Pope hath been ſo kind to let the World know how he makes his Holy Water, Piſſing it out by Conjuration; but he hath a mind to be private in Conſecrating his Holy Oil, and when he hath done his beſt to it, have a care you eat it not with a Romiſh Sallet, leaſt it be mix'd with Jeſuits Powder; however, 'tis good enough to Liquor your Boots after your long Journey to Rome.

p. 91No doubt but it ſerves notably as an Unguent for (far better than for anointing the Sick to make them well) the Popes Charet Wheels, makes them run glib in all Tranſmarine Countreys, and is now calling for a waſt over into ours; do not you hear Him at Callice, Crying, have over for Dover, have over for England: God grant Him contrary Winds, but if the Prince of the Air muſt be permitted to lend Him a lift with a Favonian or Favourable Wind, God grant, this proud Myſtical Pharaoh of Spiritual Aegypt, Rev. 11.8. May meet with no better a Fate and Fare, than that Litteral King of Aegypt did; who, though for ought we know to the contrary, had as fair way and weather into the midſt of the Red Sea, as Iſrael had, yet when Irrecoverably brought into an unavoidable Nooſe (which He could not Slip nor Retreat from) then God looked out of the black ſide of the Cloud (which was towards His Hoſt, as the bright ſide was toward Iſrael) with an angry Countenance, took off His Charet Wheels, made them (though never ſo well Oyled with His Prieſts Holy Oyl) drive Heavily, then dows'd Him with a Witneſs, and drown'd Him (too) with a Vengeance, Exod. 14.7.20. 22, 23, 24, 25, &c. I cannot but be confident, that the Lord will look through this p. 92black cloudy Diſpenſation, with a look of Love upon his own People (as he did upon poor perplexed Peter, Luke 22.61.) and with a look of Wrath upon this great Leviathan, His Holy Oyl ſhall fall His Chariot Wheels, and they ſhall never become as the Chariots of Aminadab, England cannot ever be a willing People to Receive Him:

Item, Here you may have His Holy Salt alſo, this is ſoundly Conjur'd likewiſe into as good an Holineſs as that of His Holy Water, or as that of His own Holineſs: and with this Holy Stuff the Beaſt works His Mighty Miracles and Wonders: What place ſoever hath this Holy Salt ſcattered upon it, neither the Devil nor any of his evil Spirits have any power againſt it: 'Tis a wonder there ſhould be ſo many Houſes, Haunted with Hobgoblins all over His Holineſſes Dominions, Surely, either His Holy Salt hath loſt its efficatious Vertue, or Himſelf hath loſt the Right Art to Conſecrate it, or more likely, the Devil is in His Prieſts that they Improve it not. 'Tis a wonder this old Scphiſter doth not daſh whole handfuls of this Holy Salt in the Eyes of thoſe Raw Freſhmen (thoſe Novicet as he calls the Proteſtants) and ſo to blind them for ever. But though this will not do (His Holy Salt having loſt its Efficacy) He hath a better Trick behind p. 93far more Bloudy, He would Bleed and Burn thoſe He cannot Blind: If His Holy Salt have loſt its Savour (as indeed it hath,) otherwiſe there could never have been ſo much Carrion, for want of Seaſoning, both among Popes and His Popelings) what is it good to, but to be caſt to the Dunghil, and to be Troden Underfoot? Matth. 5.13. England is as the Garden of Eden, never any Pope that paſſed through the Porphury Chair (ever ſince the Writ of Ejectment was by an Almighty Hand Served upon Him to diſpoſſeſs that Devil in the Reformation) but He hath lick'd his Lips, and longed after ſome ſweet Lettuces, that Grow in this Engliſh Garden, God grant it may be, as the Law calls that Writ, an Ejectione Firmae: that this evil Spirit (once caſt out) may not find the Houſe of our Land (which, God knows is now neither Swept of Moral Vices, nor Garniſhed, with Moral Vertues, but too much overſpread with Epidemical-Immortality) empty alſo of all Grace, and ſo Return with Seven worſe Spirits than the forwer, Matth. 12.43, 44, 45. I would to God, England were not ſo much like Jericho, whoſe Situation was pleaſant, but the Waters were naughty: Our freſh River of Thames ſeems to Run ſo near the ſalt Waters of Tybur (ever ſince the Beaſt fouled our Fountains with his Feet, p. 94Ezek. 34, 18.) that they taſt a little Brackiſh and ſomewhat Imbib'd with the Salt-Sea of Rome, 'Tis too much Tinged with the Tincture of its Holy Salt, Oh where is that Eliſha, that will take a Cruſe of better Salt (than this Popes Holy Salt is) happily to hand in, that our Waters may be Healed, &c. 2 Kings 2.19, 20, 21.

Item, Here is expoſed to Sale the Holy Milk of the Virgin Mary, which, ſome of the Popes Doctours affirm, is as Sovereign and Salvifical as the Bloud of her Son our Saviour. However, 'Tis commended moſt Highly for never-failing to cure Conſumptions, far exceeding the Milk of an Aſſe, or that of the Red-Cow. What Fools are the Conſumptive and Phtiſical Popelings, that have ſuch a Ready Cure by them, yet ſo many dye of a Conſumption, which is ſo Ranting and Regnant a Diſeaſe in thoſe Hot Climates: Nay, What a Fool is the Conſumptive Pope or Antichriſt himſelf, who doth not by this truſty trick diſapoint the Divine Doom paſſed upon him, what need he Fear [that the Lord ſhall CONSUME Him with the Spirit of his Mouth.] 2 Theſſ. 2.8. Seeing an Hearty Draught of this Holy Milk will cure the Conſumption: This Pope might then ſay as one of his Holy Predeceſſours once ſaid, I will have my Will [Al deſpito di dio] in Deſpight p. 95of God; But the miſcheif is, neither the Pope nor his Popelings dare take a ſufficient Doſe of this Salutiferous Antidote, for fear of marring the General Market hereof, 'tis a long time ſince the Bleſſed Virgin gave her Milk, and they can expect none in her Glorified Breaſts, the old Stock (ſuppoſe every one take but a little ſup, though that is not enough) muſt needs be far ſpent in above Sixteen Hundred Years, and where or how theſe Traders make their old Store bring in new, I know not, unleſs that Image of the Virgin (which bid Bernard Good Morrow at his entrance into the Church, and whom that Father Rebuked, becauſe She a Woman, took upon her (contrary to the Truly Apoſtolical Canon) to ſpeak in the Church, might ſupply, for that Idol of Stone might equally and as Probably have Milk in its Breaſt as well as a Voice in its Mouth: But that which ſpoil'd the expectation of this freſh ſupply of Holy Milk, was the Diſcovery of a crafty Prieſt that was crept into the Hollow Belly of this Holy Image, and that gave Holy Bernard the Hearty Salutation, and ſure I am, there could not be much Holy Milk in ſuch a Profligate Prieſts Breaſt, who durſt put ſuch an affronting Cheat upon ſo Holy a Father. But ſuppoſe there were ſupply then, 'tis p. 96above 500 Years ago, and this cry [will ye have any holy Milk, &c.] that Milk-ſtreet Market muſt needs be down ere now, ſeeing all their Milk-Maids (whereof they cannot have many, while the Indulged Stews afford his Unholineſs ſuch a vaſt Revenue) are now ſurely ſitting upon their Empty Pales: But I had forgot my ſelf that the Beaſt can work Wonders, and can multiply that Holy Milk (though but little from the Bleſſed Virgin) as well as Chriſt did the Barly Leaves; Yea, He hath done it to ſuch an overflow, that the Prieſts (all the Popedom over) do expoſe this Holy Milk to Sale, all pretending that theirs is the very Milk of the Virgin Mary, which, were all they have in their Conſecrated Dairy's gathered together into one place, Solomons prodigious Molten Sea could not poſſibly contain it. Nay, hereby they put the greateſt Diſhonour upon the Holy Mother of our Lord (whom they pretend to Adore) in making Her ſuch a Milk-Beaſt, as Ten of the beſt Cows in Holland cannot give the like quantity in Ten Years.

Item, Holy-Bread is here to be had: The Pope (good Man) takes care for your Table, and to furniſh it ſo far as Holy Water, Holy Oyl, Holy Salt, Holy Milk, and Holy Bread will go: But ſurely all theſe do but p. 97look like a Lent Dinner, I hope his Holineſs keeps a better Table for Himſelf: If you be a Water Drinker, here's the beſt of the Kind, Holy Water for you, of the Popes own making, I ſhould have ſaid, Conſecrating: If you be a Milk-Sop, Here's the beſt of the Kind, Holy Milk, the ſelf ſame your Saviour Sucked out of the ſelf-ſame Breaſts, when he was a Child, and who will not be content with the ſame Fare that Bred the Bleſſed Babe of Bethlehem, the Holy Child Jeſus, and becauſe the Maſter of this Lent-Feaſt, will not undervalue you as a ſort of ſorry Sucklings, He is ſo Kind-hearted as to allow you Bread to your Milk, that you may ſup it and not ſuck it, is not biting and ſupping good Fare? eſpecially, of Holy Bread and Holy Milk. You muſt not expect a Glaſs of Wine, for I find not any Holy Wine in the Popes Ware-ſhop. Perhaps he and his Prieſts Monopolizes it wholly to themſelves, for in the Euchariſt, the Cup is forbid to you of the Laity, you muſt ſuck Wine out of the Bread, If you would have it, and can catch it.

Neither muſt you grudge that you have onelyonly Bread (though it be but courſe Barley Bread, ſuch as you were never poſſibly brought up with) 'tis however Holy Bread, and the Holier, and ſo more ſatisfactory, p. 98becauſe (as this Mart-Maſter tells you) 'tis a Fragment of thoſe ſame Five Loaves wherewith Chriſt fed the Multitude, and picked out of the Twelve Baskets (that were taken away) by ſome of the Popes nimbleſt Snips, but I wonder how they have kept it from Moulding ever ſince, The Moulded Bread wherewith the Gibeonites cheated Joſhua, was not ſo many Hours old, as this Holy Bread is Years, at this Day. If it be Sound Bread that is ſhewn you, take heed you be not cheated with it, as Joſhua was with the Mouldy: But you will ſay, why is Holy Salt prepared for the Table, when the forementioned Fare needs it not? Anſwer, You muſt know 'tis not ſet there for Faſhion-ſake onelyonly, as ordinarily, for

Item, Here you may have Holy Fiſh too, and of the ſelf-ſame two Fiſhes wherewith Chriſt Fed the Multitude alſo, the Bread and the Fiſh were taken out of the ſame Baskets; and if you ſuppoſe it Freſh Fiſh, then there is uſe for your Salt, but to prevent your Second Objection about the uſe of your Oyl, you muſt rather ſuppoſe it Holy Fiſh Salted with that Holy Salt, (it could never have otherwiſe kept ſo long ſweet for this Sixteen Centuries) and then your Holy Oyl will make your Holy Fiſh (ſo called) ſlip down the better, and be modiſh p. 99enough, and what would you have more, is not here enough for a Four Penny Ordinary.

Item, Beſides this Belly-Timber, here you are Treated with a Numberleſs Number of Rarieties. As

Firſt, The Aſſes Tail upon which Chriſt Rode; not a word of his Ears.

Secondly, Joſephs Breeches both Threadbare and out of Faſhion, they will do you neither Credit nor Service.

Thirdly, A Feather from the Cock that Crew, and awaken'd Peters Conſcience; yet this Startles not Peters Succeſſor for his Apoſtacy; as alſo a Feather from Grabriels Wing, taken up at ſuch a time when as Angels caſt their Feathers.

Fourthly, Choice Hair Cloth, the ſame as Elijah and John Baptiſt wore, good enough for the Pope to do Penance in, for forcing the Witneſſes into Sack-Cloth.

Sixthly, Whole Cart Loads of Apoſtles Bones, ſometimes thoſe of a Thief (as once) drops in among them; good for I know not what.

Item, Sold at a very Reaſonable Rate,

Firſt, An Holy Rag clip'd off from Chriſts Seamleſs Coat; 'tis a wonder how the Pope got it from the Soldier to whom it fell by caſting Lots, and 'tis a wonder they p. 100have not clip'd it all away by, this time.

Secondly, The Holy Relick of the very Slippers Chriſt wore, when He, being weary with walking about doing Good, put off his Shoes, for the eaſe of his Feet, ſurely they were made of well Tan'd Leather, that laſts ſtill, and are not Rotten to Dirt ere this Day, and I wonder the Pope doth expoſe them, and not Monopolize them to himſeif, for they cannot want a Vertue to Cure his Gouty Golls: 'Tis ſtrange we hear nothing of his Shooes (in the Popes Warehouſe) the Latchets whereof, John Baptiſt (though the Greateſt Born of Women) thought himſelf Unworthy to Unlooſe, Matth 11.11. Luke 3.16.

Thirdly, The very Linnen Cloth with which Chriſt was wrap'd in the Sepulchre, as likewiſe that wherewith Chriſt wiped his Diſciples Feet. I am thinking the Man that Cries in our Streets, [Here's your ſtrong laſting Linnen Cloth,] might do good Service in this Romiſh Market.

Fourthly, The very Needles, Thread, Work-Basket and Sciſſers, of the Virgin Mary, which would be excellently uſeful for an Exchange-ſhop, and could not ſail to bring in a whole ſhoal of Chapmen, &c. How the Pope comes by all theſe Rich Commodities p. 101for all kind of Cuſtomers, is the Queſtion? But the Infallible Tradition of the Church muſt be the Satisfactory and Silencing Anſwer.

Item, Laſtly, Here you may have, whatever your Heart wiſhes, or Need doth Require. Is it any of thoſe many things mentioned in Revel. 18.12, 13. Rich all, here they are to be had. Want you Holy Bells (Baptized with God-Fathers and God-Mothers) God Bleſs our Empty New Erected Steeples, &c. Or want you Holy Beads, made of Glaſs, Wood, Stone, Coral or Amber; Holy Wax for your Candles; Holy Knives for Cutting Hereticks Throats; or Holy Roſes, this Chriſtmas time, a Rare Preſent for Princes; or what elſe ſoever, all is Holy that comes from his Unholineſs; and all have a Power to drive away the Devil, yet the Devil takes moſt of thoſe that are taken with theſe [Piae Fraudes] Holy Cheats. None of their Names are Writ in the Lambs Book, Revel. 13.8. God Bleſs every good Engliſhman from the Beaſt and his Cheating Tricks.

Having taken a ſhort proſpect of the Craft of this Inſatiable Beaſt (to keep cloſe ſtill unto the Iriſh Malachi's Character of this preſent Pope) let us now take a brief View of his Cruelty. He is a moſt Accompliſh'd p. 102Beaſt, his Infallible Unholineſs is Deſcribed by an Infallible Hand (the Spirit of Truth himſelf) in his moſt Horrible Accoutrements, no leſs than Seven Heads to Plot. with, for the more crafty carrying on of all his Gainful Cheats, and no leſs than Ten Horns to puſh his Plots endway with, and to puſh all down (that ſtand in his way) with Unparrallel'd Cruelty. To pretermit all former Bloudy Plots in foregoing Ages of this preſent Popes Predeceſſors, againſt all Proteſtant Countries, ever ſince the Reformation, and againſt England in particular, both in Queen Elizabeth's, King James's, and in King Charles's the Firſt's Time. I ſhall confine my ſelf to Characterize this Inſatiable Beaſt, the Devils Patriarch, that now Poſſeſſeth the Roman Omnipotency.

His Name is Innocent the Eleventh, who after his Inſtalment, was Arrayed with a White Surplice, wherein he Worſhip'd that God which had now Conſtituted him the Univerſal Monarch; in this White Garment he ſeem'd as pure as Innocence it ſelf, there was nothing ſurely under it, but Meekneſs, Gentleneſs, and Lamb-like Innocency. You might then ſtroke the Beaſt, He would not ſpurn you, you might put your Hand into his very Mouth, He by no means would Bite you. No, He had newly put p. 103on the Name of Innocent, and He was (what ever he had been while a Cardinal) now become an Innocent Pope, a Toothleſs Innocent Milk-Sop, that would neither Kick, nor Fling, nor Scratch, nor Bite; but the miſchief was, He ſoon after going to his Court-Office, De propagandi Fide to a Conſult there, coming thither without his White Garment (that Reach'd down to his Foot) His Red Shoes, and Red Stockins, were there Unhappily Diſcovered. At that Conſult He Declar'd his Determinations, That he Reſolv'd (Adjuvante Diabolo) to Reduce all the Heretical Countreys in Europe into the Subjection of His Roman See, and He ſaid (for a flying Argument) 'twas below both his Higneſs and his Holineſs to prove ſuch a poor Puny, as his Predeceſſors, in playing ſuch ſmall Games as they had done; He would (for his part) Take New Meaſures, and Make ſuch Methods, as neither God nor Devil could be able to Diſapoint him of his Deſign. Whereupon for the better Propogation of his Popiſh Faith, He propoſeth theſe following Expedients, and not only ſo, but Impoſeth them alſo upon that his Privy-Council, who dare not gain-ſay their God.

The Firſt Propoſal Impoſed, was this, Go forth you my Emiſſaries, and Debauch the Heretical Countreys, Foiſt your Looſe Principles, p. 104(Calculated for, and Accomodated to, the Depraved Natures of Mankind in general) this will ſoon bring Men to Looſe Practices; 'Tis found by Experience (ſaith He in great Gravity, comporting with his Grandeur) a Proſperous Bait to Catch, and a Powerful Hook to Hold whole Shoals of Proſelites. I am a Fiſher of Men, as my Predeceſſor Peter was, yet I have a Trick, which He (ſimple Fiſher-man) never thought of, or Practic'd; I can make Men Atheiſts in their Lives, and then they will turn Papiſts the ſooner, for ſtopping the Mouths of their Natural Conſciences (which will be Barking) the better with my precious Pardons, whereby I can make the worſt of Sins Venial, &c.

The Second Expedient propounded by this Pope there was this, You Jeſuits muſt be my Locuſts, my Beutefeaus to go into the Courts of all theſe Kingdomes, and ſet them all on a light Fire (in Warring one againſt another) that my Religion (which hath grown very cold ever ſince Unhappy Luther call'd the Pope, Antichriſt) may be warmed again with thoſe very Flames that I (by you my Engines) have kindled. You know, Chriſt hath made me a Fiſher of Men, as before, and I find it beſt Fiſhing in Troubled Waters. Nay, I am the true Salamander, that can beſt p. 105live in the Flames, of Foreign and Secular Princes Contentions, &c.

The Third Propoſal was, to Depoſe thoſe Kings that will not Truckle, and to Expoſe their Kingdomes, primo occupaturo, the firſt that can win it, let them wear it, I will warrant the Aſſault of the Aggreſſor, &c.

The Fourth nimble Trick he Propoſed was, ſaying, Though I have a Thauſand more Reaching and Effectual Knacks to offer, yet ſeeing you know them all ſo well, 'tis ſuperfluous to mention more, ſave onelyonly this, which is, Inſtar Omnium. You muſt in Reducing all others, Begin with that Stubborn Kingdome of England, which hath been more fatal to my Tripple Crown than all other Kingdomes, and when you have made a Breakfaſt of that, then make your Dinner of this, &c. and your Supper of that, &c. and ſo go on and my Bleſſing go with you.

Thus ended the Seraphical or rather Diabolical Oration of this Innocent Grave old Gentleman that never did, nor ever will do Harm to any.

This done, the Damnable Popiſh Plot was in all its Parts and Paragraphs contrived, &c. The Romiſh Fry of Prieſts and Jeſuits, (who were ſoon Hatch'd and grew Fledge under his Holineſs's Wing) came Flying over in p. 106great Wild-gooſe Flocks into England, we may ſuppoſe they came fully furniſhed with their Pick-Iccks of Pardons, with their Padlocks of Auricular Confeſſion, and all other uſeful Engines to promote their Helliſh Project, the Sum whereof in the general was, to Subvert the Eſtabliſh'd Government and Religion of this Kingdom, and to Reduce the ſame to the Foppery of Popery, yea, and 'twas concluded at the Conſult (which theſe Romiſh Emiſſaries came to Accompliſh) that no manner of Tolleration ſhould be granted to any ſort of Proteſtants, but all ſuch ſhould be Extirpated Root & Branch, and if all other means failed, it ſhould be effected by Fire and Sword.

The cheif Conſpirators, who deſigned, and were engaged to carry on this Bloudy project, muſt be thus Ranked in a laſting Record.

☞ Firſt, The Fountain of theſe Bitter Waters, and Original of all, was this Preſent Pope Innocent the 11th, who in the Congregation [de propaganda Fide] conſiſting of about 350 Perſons, (all fit Tools for the Devils Work) and held about December 1677. as ſoon as he was well warm in Peter's Chair, He Plots (even in that cold Seaſon) work Hot enough for poor England: Then was it He belchd out that nocent rather than Innocent p. 107Oration aforementioned, Declaring further, that this Kingdome was a part of St. Peters Patrimony, and was forfeited to the Holy See, by the Hereſy both of Prince and People, and ſo muſt be diſpoſed of as he thought meet: though this Pope was the primus motor, the primum mobile, or great Wheel that moved all the lower Orbs, and ſet all the leſſer Wheels on Work, yet let us take a ſhort view of his Under-Engines, before we more fully give him his due Character, upon this laſt (which at the laſt day will be a great) Account alſo, to wit, his Plots, as before, his Cheats, in the one a crafty Fox, in the other a cruel Tyger, and ſurely whoever were the Inſtruments, the Members, the Hands and the Feet for Acting this Bloudy Plot, to Reduce England to the Roman Rotten Religion, we ſhall find Him the Head and Principal Agent. My Deſign is here to ſet the Saddle upon the Right Horſe: 'Tis a Thouſand pitties, that the petty larceners ſhould be Hang'd and Beheaded, (though that be no more than what both Diſtributive and Commutative Juſtice moſt Juſtly Required) and the grand Thief (that ſet them all on work) eſcape Scot-free. How many did pity thoſe poor mercenary Rogues that were Executed for that Inhumane and Cowardly Murther of that Eminent p. 108Patriot Eſquire Thinn, when they ſaw Count Conniſmark, the great Rogue, (that ſet his ſilly Vaſſals on Work) to be acquitted. but there is a [foreign] a Vengeance (even in the Judgment of no better than Barbarians, Act. 28.4.) which will not ſuffer either the one or the other long to live; becauſe the God of Juſtice hath peremptorily ſaid, that the Bloudy and Deceitful Men ſhall not live out half their days, Pſal. 55.23.

Take here a Diſtinct Liſt and Catalogue of the chief Plotters in this Late and Damnable Plot, and View them from Head to Foot, from Top to Toe, as they ſtand Ranked in our Engliſh Records, and Orderly Regiſtred for everlaſting Remembrance.

Firſt, This Preſent Pope Innocent the Eleventh, the Maſter of all the Miſrule and Matchleſs Miſchief: as the Philoſopher ſaith of Finis, 'tis primus Intentione, but ultimus Executione; So muſt I ſay of this Fino Filth, He is the firſt in Intention, (his Curſed Character being the principal end propoſed in this preſent Diſcourſe) yet muſt He come laſt in Execution, not onelyonly in the Method of this Platform, but alſo (for ought I yet ſee) in the Meaſures of Gods Providence: For the Law of Juſtice (compared to the Cobweb that catches the leſſer Flyes, but cannot keep the great ones, &c.) is too p. 109Low and Short Handed (as to Man) to Reach ſo High and ſo Far as the Great Goff of Rome, Yet ſurely in due Seaſon His Sin ſhall find him out by the great God, Numb. 32.23. unto whom we muſt leave Him, for He is the God of Vengeance, Juſtice is His, and He will Repay, Deut. 32.35.43. Rom. 12.19.

Secondly, Cardinal Howard, by Birth both an Engliſh Man, and Brother to the Great Duke of Norfolk; So one of the Popes firſt and fitteſt Engines to Betray England into His Holineſſes Hands, that thereby this Cardinal might the more Merit Saint Peters Chair upon this Popes Departure from it, and then this Sweet Bit (our Land) would prove a Sowceing Augmentation to Peters Patrimony: Therefore, as the Pope was Lord High Admiral in the whole See of Rome; So, it was concluded by the Cabal in the Colledg de propaganda fide, that this ſame Engliſh Cardinal, ſhould be his Vice Admiral, and hereupon He was diſpatch'd away from Rome to be the Popes Legatus a Latere, or a None Such Nuncio into England, upon ſuch an unparalleld Errand, as never any Embaſſadour durſt undertake, which was to take poſſeſſion of it in this Popes Name, as if it had been elaps'd into his Hands for want of either Heir or Poſſeſſour, though, p. 110Bleſſed be God it hath both, and needs none of the Popes falſe Claims, or foul uſurpations: and to make this Cardinal more brisk in his exploit, the Pope Creates Him Arch-Biſhop of Canterbury (as if there had been a Vacancy too) and, that Sees Vaſt Revenue being look'd upon as too little a Bribe for ſo Heroick an undertaker, the Pope ordains Him Forty Thouſand Crowns per Annum out of His own Coffers (where there is Gold and Silver enough, &c. Rev. 18.12, 13.) as a neceſſary ſupplement to that pittiful Arch-Biſhoprick (the Beſt and Richeſt in England) that He might be had in more Veneration, and the better Support His Authoritative Grandieur: And as if this alone were below this Innocent Harmleſs Pope (like another proud Haman) to lay His Violent Hands onelyonly upon our Mordecai (the Biſhop of Canterbury, as well as King Charles the Second) to Diſpoſſeſs them both of their Crown and Miter, but He daringly Diſpoſſeſſeth (ſo far as the good will of the evil Beaſt would ſtretch) moſt of our other Biſhops, promoting His own Popelings as ſo many Interlopers in their places, as Father Perrot to York, Corker to London, Whitebread to Wincheſter, Strange to Durham: Godder to Salisbury, Napper to Norwich, &c. I appeal to all thoſe Biſhops (whom this Pope p. 111would have turned out to Grazing, unleſs they could have turned in to Him) whether His Name and His Nature do correſpond well herein, and whether they would not have had hereupon far greater Reaſon to brand Him (as in Scripture, this is King Ahaz) ſaying likewiſe, this is Pope Nocent, rather than Pope Innocent the Eleventh: All muſt Truckle to Cardinal Howard His Nuncio.

Thirdly, Johannes Paulus de Oliva, comes in next to play his pranks, and as He had been the Father General of the Jeſuits in all Lands, ſo this Pope Conſtitutes Him his Rere-Admiral, to Mann and to Mannage a right Romes Great Man of War, the Provincial of the Jeſuits in London, in ſo noble an Attack: but is Attacking in a Military manner, proper Work for an Olivas, whoſe Name carries an Olive Leaf (that Badg of Peace) in its Mouth, but it ſeems, He will be like his Great Maſter, Pope Nocent-Innocent, there is War in his Heart. Which minds me of a Story concerning the foregoing Pope Innocent the Tenth, who bare for part of his Arms [a Dove with an Olive Branch in her Mouth] Whereupon our Turn Coat and Runagate Doctor Baily wittily Quibbles upon Oliva vera, profoundly perverting it to Oliverus, and highly Courted that Protector p. 112with his Seraphick Compariſon of the Olive and Oliver. See his Life of Fiſher, p. 260, 261. 'Tis the genuine Character of a Jeſuit to have Honey (or the Olive of Peace) in his Mouth, and to have deſigned (yea Conſecrated) Swords and Daggers in his Heart. Oh brave Olive, Oh brave Oliver, the handle of the Sword that ſhould have been Sheath'd in our Bowels, Reached to Rome, and was held in this Brave Olivas Hand.

Fourthly, Pedro Jeronimo de Corduba, Provincial of the Jeſuits in New-Caſtle in Spain, the Pope muſt have here a Paul (as His Third Engine) and a Peter (as this Fourth) engaged with Himſelf herein, though both Jeſuits (without whom no Miſchief in all Europe can be managed, the Hand of Joab or Jeſuite is in all) to make this Damnable and Diabolical Plot more like Apoſtolical: That Work which this Pope cut out for him, was to be a Grand Pilot in his Countrey, and to give the Plot a lift endways, both with Money and Men, under the notion of Pilgrims: and where this Popiſh Pedro or Peter plaid his pranks like a right Beautifeu to Sow his Seed of Contention betwixt that Crown and this, thereby the more to facilitate the further Progreſs of the Plot.

Fifthly, La Cheſe a Jeſuit too, and Confeſſor to the French King (and ſo muſt be p. 113Privy to all his Royal Deſigns) He was alſo a Grand Pilot in that Countrey, whoſe hands were directed to Steer a right Courſe herein by that conceited Coxcomb, our Coleman, who was hang'd for his pains in Betraying his own Native Countrey.

Sixthly, Another Jeſuite (I have not his Name, and indeed 'tis not worth enquiry) who is Confeſſour to the Emperour of Germany, muſt Create Fends betwixt Him and our King: That, with all theſe pretty Diverſions, we might be wheadled into a Gazing abroad, while they by their Engliſh Jeſuits, &c. could cut our Throats at Home: Mark here, what a Sacred Number is Six, with them there muſt be Six of Forreign Aſſiſtants (the Number of the Beaſt is Three Sixes as before) and ſtill Jeſuits every where muſt be the Inſtruments of Cruelty, though the Pope be the hand to Improve them: I the leſs wonder at this, ſince I Read that paſſage in the Jeſuit Muffeius, writing the Life of Ignatius Loyala their Founder, He there Ingeniouſly confeſſeth, that their Father Imitated the Devil in uſing Tricks to Convert (or rather Pervert) Diſciples, &c. You may Swear, that all the Jeſuits do Patrizare and will Try the Devils Tricks with the beſt of Juglers, &c.

p. 114But are our Jeſuits in England aſleep all this while? No, the Pope hath Domeſtick Tools as well as Forreign.

This Popes Domeſtick Engines employed here, were Theſe

Firſt, The Provincial of the Jeſuits, for the Time being in England, who was White-Bread, who would have made Brownbread and Brann of us, but he fell into his own Pit, &c.

Secondly, The Benedictine Monks at the Savoy. The Duke of Savoys Country was call'd Malvoy, becauſe it was peſterd ſo notoriouſly with Theeves as made it Mala Via or Malvoy, that is, a Dangerous Paſſage, but when the Thieves were Rooted out, its Name was changed into Salvoy or Savoy, the way thence to Somerſet-houſe, makes the Application more eaſie.

Thirdly, The Jeſuits and Seminary Prieſts, who were Sowing their Tares among the Wheat (like the Envious one their Father) all over the Land, they being about the Number of Eighteen Hundred, a large black Regiment under Roman Colours.

Fourthly, Many Lay-Papiſts both of the Nobility and Gentry (too well known to need naming) who had all Commiſſions Sealed by Brave Oliva aforementioned, both for Civil and Military Employ, and ſent them p. 115by this Pope, as the Higheſt Marks of his Favour.

Fifthly, Multitudes, Multitudes of the Lay-Papiſts among the Commonalty. Even all the Papiſts in England could not chuſe but be Engaged in ſo Glorious and Meritorious a Matter; and this is the more probable, If not only their General Principles Imbibed with their Religion, but alſo the Popes particular Teſt (for Anathematizing us Hereticks) Impoſed Univerſally on them, be but well conſidered.

Sixthly, For ſtill we muſt have the Six in Adoration of Six Hundred Sixty Six, &c. All the Engliſh Covents beyond Sea, (as St. Omors, &c.) muſt be almoſt drain'd Dry, and Tranſported Incognito's hither, to Corroberate the better carrying on of the Catholick Cauſe, which was now become as Catholick as their Religion, having likewiſe all the moſt Eminent of the Popiſh Clergy in Europe Engaged to help at a Dead Lift, and to Lift England to Rome. Hereby this Plot became the Unanimous Act of the whole Romiſh Church, whoſe Infallible and Innocent Head (this Pope) Adjur'd them to it, upon the forfeiture of their Fathers Bleſſing. Though we may not Imagine every Individual Popeling could know the whole Intrigue (for there might be a p. 116Wheel within a Wheel) yet in the Lump they pay to this Pope their Blind Obedience, however the Guilt both of the parts, and of the whole, falls upon the Innocent Conſcience of this Pope, which all his Holy Water cannot waſh off, and make him as Innocent as his Name, ſhould he Conjure Tibur it ſelf.

Now when His Holineſs had thus well furniſhed his Holy Cauſe with Men (a double Set of Sixes, a Jury of Twelve, I cannot ſay, All Good Men and True, No, not ſo much as the Foreman himſelf) His next Care is to be ſupply'd with Money, the Sinews of His Holy War, and though his own private Exchequer be Puteus In exhauſtus (as he once ſaid of England, when it was his Aſs to Ride on, and therefore would fain beſtride her ſoft Back again,) an Inexhauſtible Fountain, yet the Old Crafty Fox liked better to get ſome Bearers, well knowing that many Hands make lighter Work. Hereupon by his Apoſtolical Command, as well as Example. A Vaſt and Prodigious Fund was quickly Erected for ſo Great and Pious a Work.

Firſt, The Pope himſelf, to be a good Pattern to others, conveys into his Sacred Treaſury by Paulus de Oliva, or Paul Olive, Eleven Thouſand Crowns, I wonder He made it p. 117not even Twelve, and the Crown's, Pounds; His own full Coffers Revel. 18.12. might well enough have born it beſides; the Regaining of England to His Revenue would well enough have Countervail'd that Coſt.

Secondly, The Catholick King (His Eldeſt Son) of Spain ſhames his Holy Father, in Advancing Ten Thouſand Pounds by Peter Jeronimus; thus his Indian Gold was Expended.

Thirdly, His Moſt Chriſtian Son of France (to ſhew himſelf the better Chriſtian, or rather Antichriſtian,) Advanceth Ten Thouſand Pound more by Father Le Cheeſe, what a ſhame it is, that His Holineſs ſhould be out done by both his Sons, when it was peculiarly His Cauſe, and He would have Run away with the Profit.

Fourthly, I wonder we hear nothing of the Emperors Charity, was it becauſe he was too Nigardly, or becauſe the Male-Contents of Hungary kept his Coffers Empty; however, divers conſiderable Sums were tranſmitted to Coleman by Foreign Miniſters, among whom, He from Germany might be one.

Fifthly, But the Engliſh Jeſuits (ſuppoſing the Emperor to be too Narrow Soul'd,) Ex Abundanti, ſupply'd all Defects, they p. 118having Threeſcore Thouſand Pound per Annum, Eſtate in Land here, and an Hundred Thouſand Pound Ready Caſh, a conſtant Running Stock in the way of their Trade, which (you know) is the Myſtery of Iniquity.

Sixthly, The Benedictine Monks (not to be thruſt out as Rotten) contribute out of their Bleſſed Treaſure, Six Thouſand Pound to purchaſe the Popes Benediction, whom they alſo exceeded in their Benevolence, &c.

Seventhly, God Bleſs us, here's the Third Six again, and ſo we have got the exact Number of the Beaſt, Six, and Six, and Six, or Six Hundred Sixty Six, and to make up this Number compleat, the Engliſh Catholick (as well as Romon) Grandees were free Contributors of moſt Ample Benevolencies to this ſo Great and ſo Glorious a Work.

No ſooner had this Innocent Pope thus provided Himſelf (though He as to his part, comes off but Stingily) with quantum ſufficit (or rather ſuffocat, as to Juſtice Godfrey) both of Men and Money: He then ſends forth His hungry Beagles to Hunt the harmleſs Hare, that never gave them the leaſt provocation: but He muſt do it, 'tis the nature of the Beaſt to worry the Harmleſs, and 'tis the cuſtome (which is a ſecond nature) of this Innocent Pope to be notoriouſly Nocent to the Innocent.

p. 119The Firſt Innocent, He Aſſaults with his greedy Hounds, is no leſs than our King (God Bleſs Him) Grove and Tickering are hired to ſhoot Him, Conyers and Anderton to ſtab Him, four Iriſh Ruffians to Godfrey Him, Sir George Wakeman to poyſon Him: Out of the way with Him, any way (they cry) ſince He will not comply with our Plot.

Secondly, The Duke of York ſhall fare no better, unleſs He will turn Tenant to this Innocent Pope for his Kingdom, as well as for his Religion, and pardon the Murtherers of his Brother, the Burners of the City, &c. and the Maſſacrers of the People, &c.

Thirdly, Becauſe their Horrid and Helliſh Plot had taken Wind by Doctor Oats's Depoſitions given in to Juſtice Godfrey (whereby their Bloudy Deſigns, both of Murdering the King and the Duke of York too, If he would not comply, and upon His Majeſties Murther, of Firing Weſtminſter, Wapping, Rotherith and Southwark, as they had done London, and to lay all upon the Presbyterians, &c. as likewiſe of making a General Maſſacre at the ſame time by a ſecret liſted Army of Five Hundred Thouſand Cut-Throats, whereof the Lord Bellaſis was to be General, &c. were all Diſcovered) this good Magiſtrate muſt have his Mouth ſtoped from telling Tales, &c. wherein the Pope p. 120ſucceeded ſo far as to make this Man the Firſt Martyr of our Religion, and a fair Ranſom of our Realm.

The like was Attempted upon Juſtice Arnold, though no other Crime was found in either, ſave a faithful Diſcharge of their Oath and Duty. Nor againſt Juſtice Pye neither, yet Bodnam the Papiſt prevail'd to knock down his Clay-Cruſt with his Bill, whereby this good Pye (a ſerviceable Diſh in Hereford-ſhire) was Deſtroyed.

Fourthly, The Popes Agents (being now Fleſh'd in Proteſtants Bloud, yet unable to ſtifle the Plot, when it once was Declared by both Houſes of Parliament that there was a Traiterous Deſign of the Pope to Subject this Kingdom to his Tyrannical Government, by theſe Five pernicious Lords in the Tower, whereof Stafford lately Executed was, &c.) do then club their Wits, not onelyonly with this Pope (the Devils Eldeſt Son) but even with the Devil himſelf, how they might handſomly Sham it, and this they labour in the very Fire to Accompliſh.

Fifthly, Then began they to play their Popiſh pranks in Blaſting the Kings Evidence, Sir Dennis Aſhburnham, the Saint Oniers Boys, are brought in to Accuſe Doctor Oats of Perjury, as Lane and Osborn did of Sodomy, the like pranks againſt France, Bedloe, Dugdale, p. 121&c. but their Bowl Runs not here without a Rub for their Deſign of Subborning Alderman Brook and Captain Bury, being Diſcovered, this Diſcover'd alſo that all the aforeſaid Tools were but the Popes or the Devils Trunks through which he ſpake, as he uſed to do in his Dumb Images, which the Father of Lyes taught to ſay what he liſted, yet muſt be his Oracles.

Sixthly, They, being Non-plus'd herein alſo by the Over-ruling Hand of God, begin new Methods by the Popes Advice (and indeed, what ſhould direct Hands and Feet but the Head) then thought of ſhifting the Plot from their own ſhoulders by Forging ſeveral Sham-Plots, all to be Fathered upon the Proteſtants: thus at a pinch they are Ingenioſe nequam, wickedly witty.

Heu quantum ſubitis caſibus Ingenium.

Yet this was but to new Vamp a pair of their old Boots, for that Impious Pope Pius the Fifth, taught his Popiſh Prieſts, that when they had by the Powder Plot blown up the King (James) Lords and Commons, to Father that filthy Fact upon the Puritans: the Father of Lyes is put hard to his Trumps, when he is ſo low Run, p. 122that he hath no new Tricks in his Tinkers Budget to ſtop holes with, but is forced to bring forth his old Baffoold Stratagems. However He is Reſolved to drive this Tinkers nail (new pointed) ſo far as it would go with his Hammer.

In Order to this, They ſtart many Shamplots, wherewith they indeed began betimes, even in 1661 (as Captain Yarranton Demonſtrates, when the Crown was ſcarce warm upon our King Charles his Head: but that and all other Succeſſively, were but low Games compared to this, for then they had not ſuch a Damnable Plot Diſcovered to Palliate as now, even this Plot of Plots that was Hatched at Rome as ſoon as this Innocent Pope ſtorm'd Peter's Chair, his Miter was ſcarce warm upon his Head (put upon him in the Year 1676.) but preſently the Devil enters into him (as if he had taken Judas's Sop) and ſets both his Head and his Heart to contrive this Bloudy Deſign, which for two full Years (like that ſtrange River Related in Hiſtory) Ran underground, before it brake forth and was Diſcovered in the Year 1678. Now when that Devil and his Deeds of Darkneſs was brought to Light (though long wrap'd up in Samuels Mantle) by the Father of Lights, who always overſhoots Satan in in his own Bow, theſe white p. 123Witches would fain Conjure him down with multiplyd Sham-plots: Indeed, one begetting another Corruptio Unius was Generatio Alterius.

The Firſt was, The Clapping up of Mr. Clapool into the Tower, before their plot was Diſcovered, that they might have him at Hand to Father the Kings Murder upon, ſo ſoon as he ſhould fall by their Hands, whereas all the Treaſon that can be charg'd upon this modeſt Gentleman, is, that he hath led a Retired Life for many Years, and onelyonly ſeekt to betray the Secrets of Nature by hard Study, as alſo that he Marryed Olivers Jewel, which render'd him more fit to Faſten their Deſigns upon.

The Second was, A Raiſing of the Report, that Juſtice Godfrey was a Papiſt (one of their Creatures ſaid ſo much to my ſelf) and that he was Murdered by the Proteſtants, &c. This, by Nevils means, was made the common Diſcourſe in every Coffehouſe, to amuſe the Nation, and to give them a Diverſion from the Papiſts. The now Honeſt Mr. Dangerfield knows it to be true.

Of the ſame Bran was a later Report that Juſtice Godfrey Hangd himſelf, for which N. T. was Pillory'd, both could not be true, if the one, then not the other, whereas neither is true, for he neither Hangd himſelf, nor dyed he by Proteſtants but by Papiſts p. 124Hands: ſtill the Death of one Sham-plot gave Life to another, and one Bafled begat another to the end of the Chapter.

The time would fail (as Room I am ſure doth) to Reckon all Romes Plots.

The Third was (to omit Netervils endeavouring to Suborn Captain Bury and Alderman Brooks, &c.) The Duke of Buck. was an Eye-ſore for ſaying (I ſuppoſe) he would never turn Papiſt, till they can eat up the Devil, as, they ſay, they do God in their Hoſt.

For this they firſt Accuſe him of Treaſon, and this failing, of Sodomy.

The Fourth was, The Earl of Shaftsbury was their greateſt ſtumbling Block, becauſe His Sagacity had ſo oft Countermined their Deviliſh Deſigns, Hereupon, Plots upon Plots were laid againſt his Life: both by Men and Women, in City and Country.

The Fifth was, Sir William Waller had (while in Commiſſion) been a Thorn in their Sides, for daily Ferreting the Foxes out of their Holes, where they had Earth'd themſelves, and openly Condemning their Trumperies to the Flames of a Purgatory-fire above ground: no wonder then, if they at that time ſought to blaſt his Reputation, as they (to wit, Monſon, whom he had committed to Newgate) and Nevil, aforementioned, p. 125(alias Paine) do now ſeek to Deſtroy his Life, the Preſervation whereof the whole Nation, yea, the whole Proteſtant Intereſt are obliged to Pray for, He being an Active Inſtrument in Gods Hand for the Preſervation of both.

But the Sixth (and ſtill this Miſtery of Iniquity Runs all in Sixes both in the Real and in the Sham-plots, in the former and in the latter Diſtribution.) was a Plot of Plots, a Wickedneſs with a Witneſs indeed: which (in ſome ſenſe) was worſe than either the Iriſh or Pariſian Maſſacre, wherein good Men onelyonly loſt their lives, but herein they muſt loſe their Reputations too, as Branded with Rebellion to Poſterity. 'Twas worſe than the Cruelty of Nero, who only wiſh'd all the People had but one Neck, that He might cut them all off at one Blow: but here was more than a bare wiſh, a crafty endeavour to blow up all the Proteſtant Lords (the Duke of Monmouth, &c.) All the Proteſtant Gentry and Yeamonry in City and Country at one Blaſt, by fixing High Treaſon upon them all Univerſally: and when the Knife was at our Throats, God ſent Sir William Waller to turn up the botton of Mad-dame Celliers Meal-Tab, where all the Bran of this Brutiſh Intreague was Diſcovered, Cum multis aliis quae nunc perſcribere longum eſt.

p. 126Theſe and a Thouſand more pretty Innocent Pranks hath this Pope Innocent the Eleventh plaid in poor England, though not in his Perſon, yet by his Proxy, whatever His Slaves and Vaſſals have Acted here, even Matchleſs Villanies, All have been by an Implicit Faith, and by a Blind Obedience to his Apoſtolical (or rather Apoſtatical) Commands; but ſurely that Servant who will be Hang'd for his Maſter, or for his Maſters Fault more than his own, muſt needs have more of Blind Charity, than of a Solid Judgment.

☞ One would Admire, that any Humane Breaſt could be ſo Capacious as to contain in it ſo much Villanous Venom as this Innocent Pope hath poured out upon England; but is here all? No, Scotland, France, Ireland and Holland, yea, and all other Proteſtant Countries, muſt likewiſe be Wounded with the Poiſonful Sting of this Fiery Flying Serpent, this Great Red Dragon, Mounted aloft upon the Higheſt Theatre in the Chriſtian World, hath his proſpect into all theſe places, and, as if He True Baſilisk, Kills down-right with his very Looks, His Looks are Top-full of Faſcination. To tell diſtinctly how he hath Bewitched with his bare Looks all thoſe Lands aforenamed, would Require another Volum. Take here p. 127only a very Brief Landskip hereof, which yet may ſerve to ſatisfie, that this pretended Head is Top-full of Poiſon, and this Catholick Head of the Church Transfuſeth a Fatal Poiſon into all the parts of the Body; his Venom is as Univerſal as his Headſhip.

As Firſt, For Scotland, He ſent ſeveral Jeſuits to Preach there under the Notion of Presbyterians, who Induſtriouſly Blew up the Coals of Diſcontent among that People, knowing that Oppreſſion maketh Wiſe Men Mad, Aggravating to them their Unbearable Burdens under Epiſcopal Tyranny, exciteing them to Vindicate their Religion and Liberty with the Sword, and promiſing them in the Popes Name, That they ſhould be Aſſiſted with Eight Thouſand Catholicks to overturn the Government.

Oh how did this Pope Laugh in his Lawn Sleeves, to ſee himſelf ſo Succeſsful. See Dr. Oats Narrative, Art. 1, 74, 11.

Secondly, As to France, How far this Innocene Pope hath been Nocent there, How far his Tincture of Lucifer hath turn'd his Chriſtian Son into Antichriſtian, may be Legibly Read, even in Capital Letters, in the Bloudy Whales upon the Backs of the Hugonots, but moſt of all in that Deteſtable Teſt, which wounds not their Bodies only, but their Souls alſo, unleſs they will Abjure the Proteſtant p. 128Religion, Anathematize all Proteſtants, this hath Turn'd out of France many Thouſands of the Tendereſt part of that People into Foreign Countries, though it be ſo Diametrically contrary to the Sacred Edicts of Nauts, ſo ſolemnly Sworn to by the French King. Yet this Pope, by his Omnipotency, dare Abſolve him from this Oath, and Undertakes to make Sin a Duty. See Sir William Waller's Account of the preſent State of the Proteſtants there. And ſee alſo, The Politicks of France. And whether all this Conteſt betwixt the Father and the Son, about the Regalia's, be not all a Juggle, (ſeeing the poor Proteſtants are among hands ſo ſevearly Perſecuted, and peſtilent Jeſuits ſo Cordially Embraced,) Time will Declare.

Thirdly, As to Ireland, Dr. Oats Depoſeth, Narrat. pag. 65, 66. That this Innocent Pope ſent his Bloudy Iriſh Hounds, Commiſſions, Arms, and Eight Hundred Thouſand Crowns, that they might cut the Throats of the Proteſtants again, as they had done by another Innocent Popes Order in One Thouſand Six Hundred Forty One. The Death of the Duke of Ormond ſhould lead this Popiſh Dance, the Pope looſes of his Bloud-Hounds (Four Jeſuits) who Undertook to Diſpatch the Duke, Twenty Five Thouſand p. 129Iriſh were to Riſe, and play their Old Bloudy Game, wherein they were Experienced, and Artificial Gameſters. Theſe were to Join with a French Army to be Landed there, and as good Gameſters of that Kind as they, ſo fall on to their Old Trade of Maſſacring, &c. Yea, ſome of thoſe Iriſh Cattel had a Diſpenſation from this Pope to take the Oaths of Allegiance and Supremacy, provided they promiſe to Betray their Garriſons, and other Truſts. So that when you ſee a Papiſt ſwallow thoſe Oaths, you may Swear 'tis with ſuch a proviſo, He hath ſome Truſt or other to Betray.

Fourthly, Holland, There this Innocent Pope hath ſet his Foul Foot (of the Beaſt) to purpoſe, in ſending his Moſt Chriſtian Son, moſt Unchriſtianly to Scourge them for their Hereſie, and to over-run their Countrey with his Rapacious Army; and had not God Almighty put an Hook into the Jaw of that Proud Leviathan at Utrech, He had laid their Land under an Abſolute Deſolation. To ſay nothing of His Intrigueing Influences to plunge them and us into a War to Waſt and Weaken each other that He might the eaſier worry us both: To ſay nothing of Hungary and other parts of Germany, nor of the Three Northern p. 130Crowns; in all which he hath throughly, tryed the ſame Truſty Tricks of Divide, and Command, &c.

Yet while this Pope is thus Malevolent; and Miſchievous abroad (embroiling all Countries with his Contagious Evomitions) He is all this while Mighty Magnificent and Magiſterial at Home, ſtrutting about in that Splendour and Grandeur, as if He were more than a Mortal Man on Earth, one of the Immortal Angels of Heaven, Reſembling the Angelical Nature, not onelyonly in Innocency, in his Name Innocent, but alſo in Luſtre and Glory, as to his Garb and Deportment. Grant Him to be one of the Angels Order, yet undervalue him not, by reckoning him among the Inferior Rank. No, let him be Reputed no leſs than proud Lucifer, a Prince or Principality among them, &c. Iſa. 14 14 As to his Innocency, Angel like, I can ſay, little of it, and ſure I am nor no body elſe (unleſs ſome of his Sycophants who can be content to lick up his Slaver, as once one Parafite did a Tyrants) no further than his Name [Innocent] will be the Guarranty: To be Nocent in Nature (as the premiſies have proved him) and to be Innocent in Name, is to make himſelf a compleat lump of Contradiction: However this Whore of Babylon can exactly Imitate Solomons Whore p. 131in wiping her Mouth, and ſaying I have not done thoſe miſchiefs in all thoſe Lands aforementioned: But as to this Splendour and Glory, Angel-like, I have more to ſay than I have room for, as to his Roman Grandeur, never was Jaddus (the High Prieſt of the Jews) ſo Richly Arrayed for Glory and Beauty, when Great Alexander met him and fell down to Worſhip him for a god, as this Roman Pontifex in all his pompious pontificalibus is, either ſitting in his Chair of State, or ſtanding upright, or ſtrutting about. The Prophet Ezekiel moſt graphically Deſcribes this Anointed Cherub, that Seats himſelf in the Holy Mountain of God, & ſits as God (that is a degree above an Angel) covering himſelf with every pretious Stone, the Rubys, the Diamonds, the Jaſper, the Saphire and Emerauld, &c. Ezek. 28.2.13, 14, 15, to 20. Oh what a glittering and glorious Scarlet coloured Beaſt is this, thus bedeckt with Radiant Jewels. No wonder if they give him this Canting Courtſhip [Thou art the prime of all Biſhops, the Heir of the Apoſtles, an Abel for primacy (ſure I am, not for Religion) a Noah for Government (not for Righteouſneſs) an Abraham for Patriarkſhip (not for Piety) a Melchiſedeck for Order, an Aaron for Dignity, a Moſes for Authority, a Samuel for Judicature, a Peter for Power, yea, a Chriſt for p. 132Unction, but none of them for Holineſs, though that be his Title: No wonder if his pickthanks go yet higher, in calling him their Lord God, their Creator in whom they muſt Believe, and whom they muſt Obey upon pain of Damnation] no wonder if they ſay to this their God three times [Oh Thou that takeſt away the Sins of the World, have Mercy on us. Thou canſt make a Sin to be no Sin, & contra] No wonder if Popelings Kiſs the great Toe of their Great God, in a Country where God hath Toes, which Moſes (who came neareſt him) could not Diſcern, and much leſs Kiſs, Deut. 4.12, 15. No wonder if Kings and Emperours hold the Stirrop, to this God, when weary with walking, and would Ride, one Beaſt upon the back of another, no wonder if Odeſchalcho thought his Name too baſe for a God, as Octavian did, when choſen Pope at Eighteen Years old, caſt off his Name becauſe Heathniſh, and calls himſelf John the Thirteenth, but he proved ſuch a God as uſed to drink Healths to the Devil, and in his Diceing would Pray, that Jupiter, Venus, and all the Devils would help him.

This was a Mad Jack indeed, and as Bad a God, who ſhould be All good.

p. 133To conclude, come my Country-men, how can you like to Worſhip ſuch a God, (who is rather a Devil Incarnate, or the Devils Patriarch) can you ſtoop to kiſs his ſtinking Toe, can you hold his Stirrup (as too many are doing) till he get upon your own Backs and Ride you to the Devil, Grave Biſhop Uſhar feard a Maſſacre approaching, and that this very Pope would be the chief Agent in it? Can you Court in a bloudy Villain, who will certainly cut your Throats? Can you like to Trade with ſuch a Cheat (that is as Crafty as Cruel, having as much of the Fox as of the Lyon) in his Traſh and Trumpery afore mentioned? This Pope had great hopes of Reentry into England by his hopeful Plot, hereupon Cottingtons Bones were brought to be Buried here, to take poſſeſſion of it as Jacob did in like matner of Canaan: Indeed, the late Comet frighted him into ſuch a cold Sweat, as nothing but a Dutch Stove could bring warmth into him again, and the Cockatrice laid by the Prophetick Hen in Campideglis Garden ſtun'd him a little; But now he Recovered with warm Cloaths and hot Cordials again, yet I hope 'tis but a lightning before his fall: God forbid, that the Imperial Crown of England ſhould again Truckle to the Miter p. 134and Tripple Crown of this Pope: Eraſmus Satyrical Drollery prevailed againſt the Pope, as well as Luthers Argumentative Gravity, I wiſh the like Efficacy to this Diſcourſe, and let all good People ſay, Amen.

FINIS,

End of the text · Christopher Ness, The Devils Patriarch (1683)