Advice to Mourners Under the Loss of Dear Relations, Biography
It being thought necessary to make some particular (though short) mention of the Party, on the account of whose Death this Sermon and Papers are published; it naturally follows from a Principle of Gratitude, Honour and Iustice that's due to the dear and precious Memory of Mr. Terry's first VVife, to take notice also of some of those indearing Qualifications that were very conspicuous in her. The less indeed will be said of either, because what is related of the one is so applicable in all respects to the other.
IT is no small part of the Honour that's due to her Memory that she was a Daughter of that excellent Divine Dr. Thomas Manton, and bestowed in Marriage to Mr. Terry, by his peculiar Choice, out of that most kind and cordial Respect that he had for him. She was, as to her Person, very lovely, of most curious and excellent Parts, of a ready and quick Wit, and good Understanding, and such a transcendent Sweetness of Temper, joined with true Religiousness, that she was highly valued and esteemed by all that knew her. In all relations she answered her pious Education, as a Child, a Mother, and Wife, never any went beyond her. It hath been often said, that she was made up of Love, which Character she fully answered: She had Love sufficient for ten good Wives; it's impossible for any in that Relation, to express more than she did to her dear Husband, (who was, as to her, the Life of all her other Comforts) and this express'd not with childish Fondness, but with Prudence and Discretion. To the Day of her Death she would say, that her Love was still increasing, and she found that every Day she lov'd him more and more.
She carried her self with all imaginable Duty and Respects to her Relations, to whom she was very dear. Great was her Prudence and Conduct in the Management of her Houshold-Affairs. She had the Bowels of a tender Mother to the Souls as well as the Bodies of her dear Children, and did endeavour, by Counsel and Instruction, to instil in them the Principles of true Godliness.
She had that true Piety towards God, and Publickness of Spirit to do Good, that she was beloved of all that knew her; she was of that free and generous Temper, that she thought no Pains too much to serve her Friends to the utmost of her Power, as many can witness in the late publick Troubles.
She had a most indeared Respect to all the Ordinances of the Gospel, which she frequently attended on, and that many times when she was more sit to be confin'd to her Chamber. She had many Mercies to bless God for, for many Years together, but not without her sore Troubles (which did not apear to every one) both outward and inward; but under them all there was no Abatement or Decay in respect of her Duty, either to God or Man. The Death of several of her Children was the Beginning of her Sorrows; and afterwards that of her dear Father, whom she loved with a most passionate Love: This bore hard on her tender Spirit, and brought her into a great Melancholy: Her Troubles continued more or less (though with some Abatement) to her dying Day, by which her Life was many times a very Burden to her. Her Doubts, as to her Eternal State, were sometimes very grievous; but yet through the Goodness of God she still kept up this Resolution, to venture her Soul in the Hands of her Redeemer. Having one time ask'd very earnestly, Will not Christ receive me if I come to him? receiving some encouragement in this Matter, she replied with Chearfulness, Then will I come to him. She took great Delight in reading her Father's Sermons, especially those of the Life of Faith under our Affliction: and very comfortable was the insuing Passage of one of them to her under her Doubts and Fears, viz.
The Question being propounded by poor doubting Souls thus, How shall we know whether God be our God? Answ. Why, do you love him as your chiefest Good? Do you seek his Glory as your utmost End? Do you obey him as your highest Lord and Law-giver? and do you depend on him as your Paymaster and Benefactor? But if all this will not help you to judg your Hearts, there are but two things will give you Comfort, and those are your Choice and your Resignation: Do you chuse God for your Portion? Though you cannot say God has chosen you, and that he is yours, yet you will chuse him: Do you by an Holy importunate Faith thus fasten your selves upon God, and say, Lord, if thou wilt not honour me, love me, bless me as thine, for I am resolved to be thine; and if I perish, one must perish that desires to be thine. And this she would often repeat.
The Night before she died, her Husband earnestly and humbly besought the Lord, that he would graciously be pleased to give her some comfortable Manifestations of his Love to her poor Soul, (O let it never be forgotten, the gracious Condescension of God to his unworthy Creature.) The next Morning her faithful and loving Servant (who attended her in all her Ilness) brought him Word that now the Case was altered with her Mistress; she was now reconciled to the Thoughts of Death, and was refreshed with the Sense of God's Love, and desired to have no more Cordials given her, she had better Comforts to refresh her Soul. This was on the Lord's Day in the Morning. She spake not much after, but lay in a quiet composed Frame of Spirit, softly groaning under the Pains of Death, that made his nearer Approach to her every Hour: but even then when she heard her Husband speak to her, she would answer with a very pleasing and chearful Voice.
A dear Friend lay on the Bed by her a very little space of time before she expired, and heard her utter distinctly, though softly, full of Comfort. Soon after she ended her Life with the Sabbath, and went to Rest on the 16th of March, 1689.
THE Person that succeeded her in this Relation, was also the Daughter of that Reverend and worthy Divine Mr. Thomas Burroughs, Minister at Cotsbrook in Northampton-shire, till the Year 1662, when he, with some hundreds more, were turn'd out for Non-conformity.
After a convenient and decent Space of time (of her continuing a Widow) she chang'd her Condition into a married State, though much against her own Inclination and Temper, but purely out of her Respect and Kindness to Mr. Terry, whom she knew intirely lov'd her. But when once the Nuptial Knot was tied, her Carriage, as a Wife, was with all imaginable Respect accompanied with most indearing Tenderness, often expressing how much her Love was increased to her Husband, much more than she thought it could have been, though before as a Friend she equally preferr'd him to all others of that Rank.
Her Domestick Affairs she managed with great Prudence; and in that Station she gain'd Love and Respect from all. She had a most tender and compassionate Regard for the Souls of her dear Children. She took great Care to instruct them in the Principles of Religion, and incouraging them to read and learn the Holy Scriptures. This her Care also did extend to her Servants, whom she would on all occasions be ready, either by her Advice, or by reading some good Book to them her self, when their Business would permit, and endeavour to beget in them a true Sense of their Sin and Misery, and the Worth of their precious Souls.
God, who is the God of Nature as well as of Grace, was pleased to endow her with a great Proportion both of Natural and Spiritual Excellencies. She was a very beautiful and lovely Person in her younger Years, few exceeding her, and of most excellent Parts, and of great Understanding, yet of a very humble Spirit, and very mean in her own Eyes, though deservedly valued by those that knew her: Such was the Sweetness of her Temper, accompanied with true Godliness, that she was an Ornament to her Profession.
To speak of her as a Christian, would exceed the Limits of these Papers: God had greatly adorn'd and beautified her Soul with the Graces of his Holy Spirit; and agreable thereunto she lived in some Holy Proportion answerable to the Vows of her Consecration, and to the Godly Education she received from her pious Relations: She intirely devoted her self to God, to be wholly his, and at his Disposal. She had a singular Value for the Holy Scriptures, which she constantly made conscience of reading, and would sometimes write them out with profitable Remarks on them, for her own spiritual Use. Other good Books also had their due Esteem and Use; but she would often say, none (of that kind) yielded her more Comfort and Satisfaction than Dr. Manton's. It was very usual in her own Bible and Books, to give some little Mark at those Passages that were of particular Concern to her self, under the Variety of the Dispensation that she passed through. She had a most high Esteem for the Publick Worship and Service of God, which she never, or rarely, omitted to frequent, unless hindred by some unavoidable Occasion. The Sabbath was a Day of Delight to her; she made conscience as of seeing Religious Duties performed in the Family, so also of redeeming Time for her private Converse with God: and this was resolved and subscribed to under her own Hand, many Years ago, that she would spend some Time in Prayer and Meditation; and herein followed the Method she received from the Directions of Worthy Mr. Daniel Burgess, to help her in that Work, viz. to go over the Creed, the Lord's Prayer, and Commandments; all which she did perform, with many other Portions of Scripture, as appears from the many Papers left under her own Hand. She was much pleased with what she heard a worthy Divine relate (in pressing his Hearers to Private Prayer) of a Holy Man that would never omit this Duty, but when like to be hindred by any Company, would make this honest Excuse, I must take my leave of you for a while; there's a Friend above stays to speak with me, meaning God, that has commanded this Duty. And indeed private Prayer, conscientiously and constantly performed, is a notable Sign of a gracious Heart, for I think an Hypocrite can rarely be constant and uniform in this Duty; for that of Iob may be very applicable to this, Will he delight himself in the Almighty? will he always call upon God?
I neither do nor dare I censure all those that make such a Bustle about their Ten and Three a Clock Devotions; I hope and believe that many serious and godly Christians may in all Sincerity perform them; but I think, as they are now ordered, they come not so near that Command of our Saviour, When thou prayest, enter into thy Closet.
Besides, there's too much Ground to fear they shut out both Private and Family-Prayer too in many Places: and it's too too common a Practice in this City, to go from the Temple to the Play-house, from the House of God to the House of Belial. It's very observable that such as are most zealous this way, accompanied with the Neglect of Family and Private Prayer, are generally very loose and irregular in their Conversation.
As to her Deportment under Afflictions, which she was exercised withal, both spiritual and temporal, (for God chastens every Son whom he receives) it was accompanied with great Humility and Selfjudging, often expressing her Unworthiness of the least of the Mercies that God vouchsafed to her. She was far from a querulous or murmuring Temper, endeavouring after a humble submissive Frame of Spirit: and under these Afflictions that sometimes did greatly depress her sweet and tender Spirit, she would frequently express how much Comfort and Reviving she received from God's Holy Word, and not only under her Troubles, but also when freed from them, in the most quiet and sedate Frame of Spirit. She would bless God that this Life would not last always. She had frequent Illness, and was once thought by her Friends past Recovery, but when restored again (though thankful to God for his Favour to her) she did seem to bewail her Infelicity: I thought, said she, that I was going off the Stage of this evil World, to the Place where I should sin and sorrow no more; but I now see I must again be toss'd on the Waves and Billows thereof. When it was told her, that according to the Course of Nature she might yet live thirty or forty Years; this was so far from pleasing her, that Nature that usually abhors the Thought of Death, did as it were shrink and recoil within her, to think of being so long kept out of Heaven. Under her last Ilness, (being with Child) in which there were some more than ordinary Symptoms of her Danger, at which she was not at all dismayed, but said, As to Application of Means, I am willing to submit to any thing for the Satisfaction of my Friends; but as for my self, I am content without any. This cutting Expression she utter'd to her dear Husband with great Chearfulness. She was so far from desiring to live, that she much rather desired to be dissolved, and to be with Christ. The Night before she died she had spent some time in secret, and read one of Dr. Manton's Sermons; but such was her humble and self-condemning Temper, that she to her very last bewail'd her not Improvement of her last Days Mercies, as she thought she ought. Her Death was very surprizing to her Friends, though not to her self. She always believed her approaching Change was near, though her Friends had some Hopes of her Recovery, till by a sudden and surprizing Stroke they found her Desire accomplished, and her Words true, to their astonishing Grief and Trouble. She died the 9th of November, 1693. in the 38th Year of her Age.
No more shall be here mentioned of her, but refer you to the Perusal of some few (amongst many) of her Manuscripts, in which you will perceive a Vein of Vertue and Piety running through all the Course of her Conversation; an humble Avouchment of God to be her Portion; and a thankful recounting of God's Mercy to her, from her very Infancy; her tender Regard to the Souls of her dear Children; her humble and submissive Temper under her Afflictions; her earnest Perswasion to others and her self, to work the Work that God has given them to do; with a Sense of the Sins and Judgments deserved and expected on the Nation; her awful Sense of the Day of Death and Judgment, with the happy State of glorified Souls; with her Fear and Hopes in relation to these.